Текст книги "Whipped"

Автор книги: Elizabeth Lee

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Текущая страница: 3 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

“Come on, buddy,” Will, my physical therapist, said as I pressed my legs out as far as I could. Using the weight machine had been my idea. I wasn’t scheduled to introduce equipment to my therapy until week four, but I was feeling capable. Ever since Georgia Bennett let me kiss her perfect lips, I’d felt invincible. The ache in my muscles said it was definitely working. My knee was only slightly throbbing. I could handle it. I couldn’t afford to be lax with the rehab, not if I wanted to get back on my bike soon. I’d managed ten reps, and judging by the look on Will’s face he was pleased with my progress. “Nice.”

“Felt good,” I said as he locked the plate in place and gave my legs a much-needed rest. “And you said five,” I chuckled.

“Yeah, well, I knew you’d go hard,” he teased. Along with Dr. Forlani, Will seemed to know what he was talking about. I felt stronger after each session with him, and it didn’t hurt that he was a former athlete as well. He knew exactly what it meant to need to be on the track, or field¸ in his case. In our brief time together, we’d shared war stories. Just like I’d been forced off my bike, Will had been forced to give up baseball. From what he had told me, he was slated to hit the big leagues as a starting pitcher when his shoulder gave out.

“Scale of one to ten, how am I doing?”

“Seriously?” He shook his head. “You really need a statistical validation?”

“Damn right I do. I gotta be the best.”

“You’re knocking it out of the park.”

“There we go. A good ole baseball analogy. There’s the Will I’ve come to know and love.” That earned me a shot to the shoulder from him. “Easy there, I’m injured.”

Will rolled his eyes as the two of us walked over to the water cooler. I filled up my bottle and the two of us continued to give each other a hard time.

“Maybe you need to have Dr. Forlani build you a new shoulder from cadaver parts,” I suggested. “Get you back on the mound.”

“I’m not sure a dead guy’s arm would do the trick,” he said. “Besides, who would be here to train your sorry ass if I was gone?”

“Very true. No new arm until I’m back to one-hundred percent.” I laughed. “Think it would be all right if I started driving?” I asked. “I mean, it’s my left leg.”

“Yeah probably. Maybe give Doc a call and make sure,” he said. “I’m not sure why you’d want to though,” he continued. “I mean, from what I can see, you’ve got a ride.” He pointed out Georgia leaning against the doorframe. “Why mess with a perfectly good thing?”

“Good point.” I had to agree. Just the sight of her standing there did something strange to me. It was the same feeling I got in my stomach just before attempting a major stunt. Except there was no way to train for Georgia. I just had to wing it and hope I didn’t fuck up and scare her off.

Seeing Georgia every chance I got was nice. Maybe I could wait a little longer before I got behind the wheel. In addition to the nervousness, a warm sensation settled into my chest the moment I laid eyes on her. It was odd considering most of the feelings I had when I looked at women seemed to be localized to one place in particular. The southern region. Not that she didn’t cause quite a stir in that area as well, but when it came to her there was…more.

Georgia smiled and waved when she noticed we were looking at her. I hoped I wasn’t coming off as Creepy McStaresalot, but she was just so damn beautiful. I couldn’t help but look at her. The soft looking gray sweater she was wearing over a pair of dark blue skinny jeans made me want to wrap my arms around her. Pretty much everything she wore—everything she did—made me want to hold her in my arms. I hadn’t stopped thinking about the kiss we’d shared a few nights back. It was soft and sweet, but damn it all if it hadn’t been one of the greatest moments of my life. It took a lot of self-control to not push it further with her. But, if I wanted to be a stand-up guy, the kind of guy that deserved a girl like Georgia Bennett, I knew there would be a lot more self-controlled moments in my future.

Standing there, watching her grin and wait for me, had made it worth it. I didn’t want to rush a single thing with her. I wanted to enjoy the time we had together. When we’d talked about our relationship histories, it made me realize, for the first time in my life, I wanted to know what it was like to really be with someone. In more than just a wham, bam, thank you ma’am kind of way. This so-called “casual” thing we were doing was starting to seem impossible. At least for me.

“Hey, Georgia,” Will said when she finally walked over to where we were standing. “How are you?”

“Good. You?” she asked politely, placing her hand on his arm to greet him. I assumed that they knew each other from working at the hospital. I hoped that that was the case anyway. She said she hadn’t dated anyone since Jamie. I had to believe a fling with a Physical Therapist was out of the question.

“Well you look great,” he added. Will was smiling at her like everyone did, but it wasn’t settling right with me for some reason. She withdrew her hand from his arm after what seemed like an eternity and I suddenly realized I’d been frowning the entire time she was touching him.

It was innocent, I told myself. She was just a friendly person offering a friendly greeting.

“Thanks,” Georgia replied. “So do you.”

She glanced at me after she accepted his compliment like she was checking to see if I noticed another guy thought she was pretty. Of course I freaking did. The real question was what the hell was he doing? Was he actually flirting with her in front of me? The grip on my water bottle tightened a little. Will’s dimpled smile and all around boy next-door good looks started to irritate me. He wasn’t bad looking, I guess. But, he wasn’t me. Surely, Georgia wasn’t interested in him. Was she? They carried on a short conversation about the terrible food choices in the cafeteria. It was more than their conversation that made me lose my appetite.

So this is what jealousy feels like.

Despite the fact that their interaction was cordial and not at all threatening, I couldn’t help but focus on the way his smile lingered after she spoke to him. He’d be here in town after I headed back to Texas. And her fling with me would be the stepping-stone to something real with him, or a guy like him. The heat in my chest spread to my face and I knew it had a lot more to do with watching them interact than the workout I’d just finished.

I tried to settle myself down, turning my head slightly to the side and feeling the bones in my neck crack, which only made the thought of putting my fist through his face that much more appealing. I chalked it up to the testosterone boost I had after my training, but the idea of another guy putting the moves on her was too much to take at the moment. I couldn’t remember ever giving two shits about a girl I was with talking to another guy. This right here was unknown territory, ladies and gentlemen. Seeing her smile at him and give someone else her attention had me all kinds of tormented. Not to mention, Will was probably more her type. The two of them had way more in common than the two of us. I was adrenaline and good times, he was in her field of study and probably a lot more like Jamie than I was. The time for my usual game was gone. I needed to step up to the plate if I wanted this girl. Will could eat his baseball analogies with a big side of stay the hell away from my girl.

“You ready?” I asked, needing to get out of there before I convinced myself that Will was an actual threat. I didn’t need to beat my therapist’s ass for talking to a girl that wasn’t even mine to begin with.

Yet, anyway.

“Yep.”

“See you in a couple days, man,” I told Will as I tossed my arm over Georgia’s shoulder. He might not have had any hidden agenda with her, but I wanted to make my point nonetheless. Georgia Bennett might not have been mine, but she sure as hell wasn’t going to be anyone else’s. Not while I was in town anyway.

* * *

Georgia had agreed to take me by the local grocery store. The Froot Loops were gone, along with the left over pizza. Bare cupboards were not something I usually dealt with. I spent so much time on the road and in training that eating out had become my normal routine.

“You coming in?” I asked when she didn’t turn off the car after parking. There were only a few cars in the lot of the small town store. I appreciated the ease of going shopping. Back in Texas, the closest grocer was a big box store that I avoided at all costs.

“You want me to?”

“Well yeah,” I nodded, “I don’t know what’s healthy and what’s not. Aren’t you the one always telling people to take care of themselves?” Add it to the list of things that had me interested in her. I’d kind of always only thought about myself, so I was more than intrigued by a girl who seemed to think about everyone but herself.

“Okay,” she said with a smile while getting out of the car. As we walked across the parking lot, I felt her hand brush mine and didn’t waste a second grabbing a hold of it. I watched her eyes fall down to where our hands interlocked. There was a moment of hesitation and I worried she was going to pull her hand free. She didn’t.

“So…what are we buying?” she said as we walked hand in hand into the grocery store.

“Something pre-made,” I suggested. “I can’t cook for shit.”

“Well, I can,” she said proudly. “I could make you dinner.” Her hand slipped from mine so she could get a shopping cart. Her dinner offer quickly made up for not being able to touch her at the moment.

“Okay, chef. What’s on the menu?”

“Um...” She pursed her lips in the cutest way as she thought. “Baked chicken? Spaghetti? What’s your favorite food?”

“Anything that isn’t from a box is good by me.” I’d eat whatever she fixed. With a smile. Twice if I had to. Even if she burned it.

She suggested we head over to the meat counter and decide what looked the freshest. As she pushed the cart ahead of me I placed my hands on her shoulders and gave her a quick squeeze. This whole being able to touch her thing without feeling like I was pushing her out of her comfort zone was nice. It felt so natural. It felt like we might just be a couple. A couple doing normal couple things, whatever those were. I had to admit, I liked it.

I was slowly starting to understand the draw people had to relationships. She was going to cook for me. She wanted to talk about actual, meaningful things. She called me out on my bullshit when need be. Maybe Reid was on to something when he decided to lock it down with Nora. This whole girlfriend thing might actually be worth it in the long haul. And so far all we’d done is kiss and hold hands. People’s heads would spin if they actually thought Brett Sallinger was considering settling down. Hell, my head was spinning.

After Georgia pointed out two steaks that she wanted, the butcher wrapped them in white paper and handed them over the counter.

“So what about dessert?” I said playfully into her ear. Her giggle as she leaned into me had my blood pumping. If things kept going the way they were, more than a kiss was inevitable. I’d never wanted to show a woman how badly I wanted her. “I’ve got a couple of ideas.”

“Is that so?” She laughed again as I let my lips brush against her neck. I couldn’t help myself, I inhaled deeply. Jesus, she smelled good. A sweetness that was undefinable. Maybe lilies? And here I’d thought bike exhaust was my favorite scent. Not anymore. The two of us were in the middle of a small town supermarket, completely oblivious to the world. It was fan-fucking-tastic. “What did you have in—”

“Georgia?” A woman’s voice called out sharply, bursting the bubble we’d put ourselves in. I felt Georgia’s body tense against mine and as quick as she was in my arms she was shrugging out of them leaving me alone with shopping cart. I had no idea who this woman was, but she just cock blocked me. Hard. Just as I was making progress…

“Iris,” Georgia said, the tension in her voice was a clear as the tension in her shoulders. “How are you?”

The woman was in her late forties, I guessed. She appeared a bit worn down. Tired even.

“It’s good to see you,” Iris said. I didn’t miss the way she let her eyes fall on me or the stiff look of disapproval on her face. Judging from Georgia’s reaction, she hadn’t missed it either.

“Iris, this is Brett Sallinger.” Georgia looked back at me and I could see the panic lacing her eyes. “Brett, this is Iris Shaw.” Was she actually afraid of introducing me to this woman? “He’s a friend of Reid Travers. You remember Reid don’t you?” I was a friend a Reid’s, but it stung a little that she had introduced me as only that.

“I do,” she replied. “I think Jamie rode dirt bikes with him a few times before he moved away.” That’s when realization struck.

Iris Shaw.

Georgia’s demeanor was suddenly understandable. This was Jamie’s mother standing in front of us. The woman who was slated to be her mother-in-law. The shameful look on Georgia’s face made me want to comfort her. Not that we were doing anything wrong.

“He did,” Georgia confirmed. “They knew each other.”

“I won’t keep you,” Mrs. Shaw offered up. “I just wanted to say hello. Don’t forget about Sunday. I hope you’ll be there. We apparently have a lot to catch up on.” Mrs. Shaw continued to push her cart passed us and gave me one more look of disapproval.

“I’ll be there.” Georgia let out a heavy sigh as soon as Mrs. Shaw was in another aisle.

“Well that was... awkward.”

“Yeah,” she said softly. “Can we go?”

I nodded. I understood how having Jamie’s mother see her with another guy would be uncomfortable, but it had been three years. Three years seems like a long enough time for someone to grieve. To me, anyway.

Maybe the public display of affection between us had caught her off guard, but that woman had no right to make Georgia feel guilty. Which is exactly what she’d done. I could tell by the way Georgia refused to look at me until we were out of the confines of the market and back in the safety of her vehicle.

“Are you all right?” I asked as we drove back to the cabin.

“I will be,” she said with a nod. “I think.”

“You can tell me about him, you know?” It might not have been the best time to bring Jamie up into the conversation, but was there ever really a good time? “I’m not going to get mad or weird. It’s not exactly a typical situation so if you needed to talk…I’m here. Just sayin.”

“You want to hear about him?” She looked over at me.

“I want to get to know you and it seems like he’s a pretty big part of who you are.”

“He is…or he was,” she said slowly. “I don’t even know where to start. I guess at the beginning.” Her hands encircled the steering wheel. “We grew up together. I don’t really remember a time in my life where he wasn’t there. First as my friend and then as my boyfriend.” She swallowed. “And then as my fiancé.”

Hearing her story continue—a story of childhood sweethearts turned lovers was a lot to take in. I thought I got the drift of the story from what I’d heard from Hoyt, but their connection was more than I’d ever anticipated.

“He was my best friend first and foremost. I’m kind of still trying to figure out how to live without him, you know?” She bit down on her bottom lip, stopping it from quivering. “When something happens, good or bad, I want to call him. I want to know what he’d say…even though I knew him well enough that I can imagine. That’s probably sounds nuts. I don’t know how to explain it, Brett. It’s just…hard.”

“Yeah.” I didn’t know, but I was trying to understand it. I was trying to put myself in her shoes, but how could I? “I guess I’ve never really had that kind of a connection with a member of the opposite sex, but I have lost friends before and I know it’s shocking at our age.”

“As soon as he signed up for the military I had an uneasy feeling about it, but I never thought that I’d actually lose him, you know? I should have paid more attention to my gut.” Her hands were white knuckling the steering wheel and when tears began to streak down her face. The ache I had to pull her close and tell her that everything would be okay was overwhelming.

This girl had been to hell and back. Being so young and losing someone so close to her. I guess I’d been lucky. My great grandma died when I was thirteen, but that was the most I’d dealt with death up close like that. I knew one guy who died in a motocross accident, but I wasn’t really close to him. I just knew him by association. “I’m sorry that you had to go through that. Truly, I am. You deserve to be happy and not to have to carry this pain around forever.”

“It’s okay,” she said, sniffling back her tears. “It’s been three years. I need to move on. I need to not let it upset me all the time.”

“You can’t help the way you feel,” I said, placing my hand on her thigh. I wanted to be there for her. I wanted her to know that she could talk to me about anything, even if it was painful for the both of us.

“Thank you,” she said, finally looking over at me again. “I promise not to be such a Debbie Downer. Sometimes it just hits me out of nowhere.”

Like an almost mother-in-law in the grocery store. This entire town was probably one big reminder for her.

I nodded. At that moment, it was all I could do for her.

The phone rang twice before my sister picked up. “Hey G! How are you?”

“Confused,” I said immediately. Not having my sister in our house was making my life tough. I had no one to talk to and right then I needed her. I dropped Brett and the groceries off at his house and promised to come back after class to cook him dinner. I needed a breather after seeing Jamie’s mom in the grocery store. Or better yet, after having Jamie’s mom see me cozied up to some guy that wasn’t her son.

I’ve never been so hot and cold in my life. One minute, I’m feeling totally at ease with Brett. A casual stroll through the grocery store, picking out what we wanted for dinner, my hand in his. It felt natural. The sweet way he was flirting. Touching me. Whispering in my ear. It was all so exciting and new. I was aflutter and turned on, imagining how the rest of our day would play out together.

It was nice feeling like I had someone to cook for, to flirt with, to imagine doing more with.

Then, like having a bucket of ice dumped down my shirt, there stood Iris.

Then he’d asked me about Jamie. I liked that he wanted to know me, but it was hard to talk about my past. God bless Brett though. He’d been sweet and attentive as I told him my story. I knew it probably wasn’t easy for him. Most people felt like shit after they heard about the poor girl whose fiancé had been taken away from her. It sure didn’t make me feel any better.

For the first time, I wanted to leave Jamie’s memory in the past. And I didn’t know what that meant.

“What’s the matter?” Nora said. Clearly my frustration was evident in my tone. “Is this about Brett? Did something happen?”

“Kind of.”

“What did he do? I’ll kill him,” she said, immediately being the defensive sister I loved. “I swear it. I don’t care if he’s injured.”

“No, it’s not like that,” I assured her, laughing at her promise to protect me. “Brett has been nothing but a gentleman.”

“Whew,” she chuckled, “I’ll take killing a Throttled Energy stunt rider off my to-do list then. So what’s the matter?”

I tried to organize the jumble of thoughts in my head. But they were tangled up with emotions I still hadn’t sorted. “I should start at the beginning, I think.”

“I’ve got nothing but time, little sister.”

“So, you know that Brett and I have been spending a lot of time together,” I started.

“I do.”

“Well, things seem to be... changing.” I paused. “In a good way. I mean, I guess we are kind of dating.”

“Really? You and Brett are like a thing? Georgia, I’m so proud of you!”

“Slow down,” I could hear her excitement and see the double dates she was planning play out in her head. “It’s very early. We’ve barely kissed.”

“But you did kiss him?” Nora’s giddiness was catching. I felt my stomach flip thinking about it myself.

“Yes. It was just a peck.”

“And?”

“And what? We’re just taking things slow, Nora. It was just a kiss... and some hand holding... and maybe some PDA in the grocery store.”

“Omigod!” she squealed. “Keep going,” she insisted. “I’m still not understanding why you are confused. Sounds to me like things are going perfectly.”

“I saw Iris Shaw today,” I explained. “And Iris Shaw saw me wrapped up with Brett in front of the fresh meat section of Wohlman’s.”

“Ahh...”

“I was totally caught off guard and I just panicked and froze Brett out.”

“Understandably, but it’s okay for you to move on. You know that, right?” She cleared her throat and I knew that whatever sisterly wisdom she was about to lay out for me needed to be heard. “Jamie has been gone for three years, G. Iris, or anyone else for that matter, shouldn’t make you feel bad about living your life. I’ve been worried you’d never move on, never let anyone else in. Brett’s a decent guy from what Reid says and I think being injured is probably helping him mature a bit.”

“I know that. I really do,” I insisted. “But, what if I’m making a mistake? What if I’m jumping into this thing with Brett too quickly?”

“You said it yourself that you’re taking it slow.”

“We are.”

“So quit worrying about what everyone else thinks and live. I can tell you from personal experience that sometimes you just need to go with it. Everything that’s meant to be will be.”

“I feel like I’m giving up on Jamie’s memory or something,” I confessed.

“You’re not,” Nora said. “I promise you that you are not. Jamie was special to you and always will be. Everyone knows that, but you need to do what’s best for you now. You’ve always put everyone else first. You can be selfish for a little bit if you want to.”

“Okay. I’ll try.” Being selfish seemed about as far out there as me being mean or hateful. I’d always tried to think of everyone else’s feelings, but maybe my sister was right. Maybe I just needed to focus on mine for a change.

“Good! Now tell me more about this kiss,” she demanded playfully.

* * *

After giving my sister as much detail as I thought she needed, she asked me if I would be available to meet a furniture moving company and a few delivery trucks on Tuesday at the house Reid had been building for his parents. The construction was almost finished and Nora and Reid would be bringing his mom and dad to the property in about a week. Of course I agreed to help get the house ready for the surprise. I added the date to my planner and made sure that I didn’t have anything else on the books.

“Maybe Brett would like to help,” she suggested.

“I’m sure he would,” I told her. “I’ll make sure to ask him tonight.”

“You do that,” she said, letting the inflection in her voice add some sort of sexual tone to the comment. “You ask him. All. Night. Long.”

“Now you’re just being immature,” I deadpanned.

“I’m just so damn excited that you’re dating,” she said between laughs. “I want you to be happy, baby sister.”

“I know you do.”

I wanted me to be happy, too. I wanted to be able to move on. I’d been doing a decent job of compartmentalizing my past from my future. Something I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to do.

After I’d gotten off the phone with my sister, I went to my psychology class and then headed home to grab a few things I needed for dinner. After seeing Iris, I was so shaken up that I’d forgotten to grab steak seasoning and sour cream for the baked potatoes we’d decided to fix.

I freshened up—tousling my hair and reapplying a little bit of makeup—before heading out the door. The entire drive over, I felt the nervous anticipation of being around Brett build. I wanted to spend time with him. I wanted to see what it was like to just hook up with someone, no strings attached. I thought it might take some of the pressure off me knowing that he was leaving, but I was still anxious about it all. Could I actually go through with it? Could I just have a fling?

The feel of Brett’s lips were definitely different than Jamie’s. I knew it would be. I had hoped it would be. Both of them were able to evoke a physical response from me, but that’s where the similarities ended. I wanted there to be a distinction between the two of them. The past and the present. They were two different people. I tried to not compare the two, even if Jamie was the only constant I had when it came to men. Brett was more experienced than I was. More experienced than Jamie was. It wouldn’t have been fair to any of us if I tried to compare them. So I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.

When I pulled up to the cabin, I saw Brett standing on the front porch facing away from me. The fall weather had a chill blowing through the air as I stepped out of my car and grabbed the tote bag I’d brought from home. The thick line of trees along the edge of the property had started to lose their foliage, lining the path I walked on with dried leaves that crunched beneath my feet. I tucked my arm through the strap of the bag before wrapping my arms around my body to try to keep warm.

The howl of the wind must have been enough to cover the rumble of my car when I drove up the gravel drive because Brett had yet to notice I was there. I saw him take a long slow drag off of a cigarette. I had seen him smoke once before. It was a while back when we were at a bar in town, but I didn’t know it was a habit of his.

I was suddenly acutely aware of what the media had deemed “sensationalizing smoking.” As his full, firm lips wrapped around that cigarette and his chest slowly inhaled, I got it. I wanted to smoke that cigarette. I wanted to be that cigarette. I wanted to feel him take a long, slow drag off of me. I felt a grin spread across my face as I approached the steps of the porch.

“That’s a terrible habit, you know,” I told him as I climbed the steps. “Smoking slows the body’s ability to heal. You’re only adding to your recovery time.” The nurse in me just couldn’t stop from giving him the facts, despite how sexy he made it look. “And not to mention…cancer.”

“I didn’t hear you pull up,” he said, quickly discarding the cigarette in an old soda can he had sitting on the ledge. It appeared that this wasn’t the first time he’d taken a smoke break on the front porch. “Sorry.” He seemed more than apologetic. “Sometimes when I’m nervous or overwhelmed it seems to help. Or if I have too much to drink. I know I shouldn’t.”

“It’s okay,” I told him. “We all have our little secrets,” I said with a smile as he took the bag I was carrying from my shoulder.

“Is that right? And what’s yours?” he asked as he led me into the house. “You sneak cigarettes between midterms? No wait, shots of whiskey after a long shift?”

“Not exactly.” I laughed, not knowing if I was ready to tell him my method of unwinding. I decided to pull the band-aid off quickly. “Coke.”

“Coke? Well, shit. That escalated quickly,” he said with disbelief. “That’s a terrible habit, Georgia. It’s addictive and dangerous. Not to mention expensive and illegal.” I could see him mentally preparing an intervention. He was probably already plotting out his call to Nora and my parents.

“Not that kind of Coke.” I laughed. “Coca-Cola, silly.”

“Whew,” he said with exaggeration, wiping the back of his hand over his brow. “Had me worried for a second,” he said before joining in with my laughter. “Having a soda is not a vice.”

“You can clean toilet bowls with Coke. It takes rust off of bumpers. It is so bad for you.”

“Come on. It’s soda. Kids drink it.”

“I’m serious. It’s full of nonsense. Chemicals most people can’t even pronounce.” I paused. “But every now and then I just have to pop open a cold one and let it wreak havoc on my insides.”

“Such a rebel,” he said as he leaned in and placed his lips on my forehead. It was nice, but not exactly what I had been hoping for. I could smell the cigarette smoke on him, but I didn’t care. I wanted to taste it on his lips. “I’ll be right back,” he said, excusing himself to the bathroom. He apparently cared. I heard the sounds of him brushing his teeth along with the running faucet.

When he returned, I already had everything we’d bought at the store laid out on the counter and was preheating the oven. “Fresh and clean,” he said as he walked over to me and kissed my lips. Firmly, he held his lips to mine and let his hands find my hips. The bite of his fingertips into my body let me know that he was holding back just as much as I was.

I wished for one moment that he would just let go, but we’d agreed to take it slow. His kiss deepened and he let his tongue slip between my lips. I nearly dropped the potato I was trying to wrap with foil. Before my legs could wobble out from underneath me, he ended what he had started. By the time he pulled away—leaving a minty taste in my mouth—I’d forgotten what I was doing.

“That was…nice,” I barely managed to string a sentence together as I watched him strut over to the barstool across the island from me and take a seat.

“That was the greeting I was planning on giving you until you busted me smoking,” he confessed. “This time it was to celebrate you not having a cocaine addiction.”

“I’ll take it,” I said with a stunned nod.

I would take it all. I thought, trying not to smile too enthusiastically. This whole playing it cool thing was hard. I really wanted to kiss him again. I wanted to say to hell with dinner and make out with him, but the calm, collected adult in me wouldn’t allow it. At least not yet. The anxious feeling that was bubbling in the pit of my stomach had me almost giddy.

“So, what had you stressed out?” I asked as I continued preparing our dinner. I needed to focus on something other than my hormones.

“Huh?”

“You said you smoke when you’re overwhelmed,” I reminded him.

“It’s nothing,” he assured, but there was something in his eyes that said otherwise. Concern?

“Really? I thought maybe it had something to do with what happened at the grocery store.”

“Maybe a little,” he confessed.

“It was awkward. I’m sorry if I made it uncomfortable for you.”

“You didn’t,” he hesitated. “It just…it was awkward for you and that made me mad at myself for putting you in the situation. I know I’m not going to be here in Halstead forever, but you are. This is your home and I don’t want to be that guy that comes in and stirs up a bunch of shit for you and then bails. Does that make any sense?”