Текст книги "Take a Bow"

Автор книги: Elizabeth Eulberg

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 4 (всего у книги 12 страниц)

I studied Ben to see if I could get a hint of what was going on, but he was just giving me a slight smile. I could tell he was smiling so the guilt wouldn’t completely ooze off his face. Emme was worse. She was looking down at the ground; she wouldn’t even look at me. She seemed even more uncomfortable than I was. And I had thought that was humanly impossible.

“Can you just get it over with?” I said with an even tone.

Jack continued to be the spokesperson of the group. “Look, you’re an amazing musician and songwriter; I mean, it kills me that you’re so talented.” Now I was the one looking down at the floor. “Thank God I have the looks, because that just wouldn’t be fair.” Once again, Jack tried to lighten the mood. “It’s just that … when you’re onstage, you look miserable. You don’t move around, you don’t engage the audience, you just close your eyes and sing. We need you to be more of a … front man.”

“Why do I have to be the front man?”

Jack threw his hands up. “Ah, because you’re the lead singer.”

“But that doesn’t mean I have to be the one to always speak?”

Jack looked at Ben and Emme. “Yeah, it does.”

“There are plenty of examples of bands that —”

Jack wouldn’t even let me finish. “We don’t really need a lesson on Rock Groups 101. It makes the most sense and, to be honest, you never freeze up like that when we rehearse.”

“Have you ever thought that maybe it is a little intimidating to have to talk in front of a crowd? How would you like to have all that attention on you?”

“I’d love it.”

“Then you do it.”

“I can’t really warm up the crowd when I’m behind my kit.”

My stomach started to churn. I loved playing, I loved the band, but when I was onstage, I felt self-conscious. All eyes were on me while I sang. I felt this undeniable weight on my shoulders … and a little stupid.

“Emme should be the lead singer.”

Emme finally looked up at me. The expression on her face reminded me of one of those girls in a slasher flick who’s about to be stabbed by a serial killer. “I can’t sing,” she protested.

“You can sing,” I argued. “You just choose not to.” She lowered her head again.

Jack came over and put his hand on my shoulder. “Look, you’re the best singer in the group. If you maybe opened your eyes every once in a while, you’d see that the girls in the audience like what they’re hearing. Don’t even pretend that you haven’t noticed that you’ve gotten more attention since you first sang in the Freshman Focus Showcase. Tell him, Red.”

Emme’s mouth dropped open. “Why would I know if girls have been talking to Ethan? And, um, aren’t we getting a little off track here?”

Thinking back to right after the showcase, I realized I had gotten more attention from girls. Kelsey had become really jealous, but I’d assumed it was from meeting Emme. She never liked the fact that there was a girl in our band, especially after she saw what Emme looked like.

Now there was an uncomfortable silence. I knew everybody was waiting for me to say something, but I couldn’t see how I was supposed to magically become this outgoing person onstage. I didn’t even feel comfortable talking in class, so I was sure the attention I received after the concert was from people who’d thought I was mute.

Jack was glaring at Emme, motioning for her to say something. She let out a deep sigh and stood up.

Her face matched the color of her hair. She closed her eyes and nodded to herself, her lips moving slightly. I tried to not smile; I knew exactly what was going on in her mind. I’d seen her do it a hundred times all semester. Usually she was trying to come up with a new lyric, but I wasn’t sure what was about to come out of her mouth would be music to my ears.

She opened her eyes and approached me. She looked back at Jack and then crouched down so we were at eye level. “Ethan,” she whispered so nobody else could hear, “did I ever tell you what I thought when I first heard you sing?” She didn’t pause, as we both knew the answer to that. “I felt like I heard you for the first time. That your singing voice is your true voice. I was blown away with how strong and warm it is, like I was being wrapped up in a cozy blanket. I could never do what you do, and I don’t know how Sophie does it, either. But the thing is, I get the same feeling when I’m onstage with you that I do when I’m onstage with her. I don’t get as nervous, because we’re in it together and everything will turn out okay.”

She got up and sat back down. Her eyes went back to the floor.

“Okay,” I conceded. “I understand what you’re all saying. I do, and all I can really say is that I’ll work on it.”

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Jack patted me on the back. “We’re in a band, which is supposed to be fun. Plus, it’s a great way to meet hot chicks.” He shot a look at Emme. “No offense.”

Emme sighed and shook her head. “You know, I can always join an all-female group if I’m cramping your style.”

“Aw, come on.” Jack wrapped his arms around her. “I’m just teasing. You know we’d be nothing without you, right, Red?”

“Yeah, yeah,” she said as she pushed him away.

While I wasn’t extremely confident that I’d be able to rise to the occasion onstage, there was one thing that I was one hundred percent sure of:

I would be nothing without Emme.

“Ethan?” I look up to see Emme now, blue highlighter (my color) in her hand.

Jack shakes me. “Wake up, man. It isn’t that painful. Now that I’ve done my time, I’m out of here. I’ll see you guys later!” Jack leaves me alone with Emme.

We haven’t really been alone lately. Not since …

I can tell she realizes it, too, because she gives me a small smile and puts her arm on my elbow. “Everything okay?”

I nod. I don’t think what I’m currently going through would be described as being “okay,” but I don’t know what to say or do around her anymore. I’ve always been a useless dork around girls. Emme was the first girl who I never really felt self-conscious around. She was the first person to talk to me at school. She’s one of my best friends. Actually, she is my best friend.

Yet here I am, standing across from the one person who probably despises me more than anybody. And, believe me, that list is pretty long.

“Listen,” she says softly, giving a quick look around the hallway. “I don’t want you to think … I’m really sorry if I …”

I shake my head. “No, it needed to be said.”

She bites the corner of her lip. Then she opens her mouth slightly and I pray that whatever comes out of her mouth will make me feel better about myself, will silence the voices that have been screaming at me since that day. “Ethan …”

“EMME!” Sophie’s voice blasts through the quiet, and like that, the moment is gone.

She runs over and hugs Emme. I ache when I see how happy this makes Emme. How she can’t see what everybody else sees. That Sophie is just using her.

“How was your first day, Em?” She puts her arm around Emme and doesn’t even bother to acknowledge my existence.

I’m wounded by her neglect.

“Carter told me that you’re going to be in the band for A Little Night Music?”

And here we go.

Emme nods. “Yeah, both me and Ethan.”

“Really?” Sophie looks over at me and forces out a smile. “That’s so great! I’m thinking of auditioning for Desirée.”

Wow, Sophie wants to play the part of a self-absorbed actress? That’ll be a stretch.

“You totally should!” Emme encourages her. Emme always encourages her (or enables her, depending on who you’re asking).

“Really?” Sophie acts surprised. “Do you think you’d help me get ready for the audition?”

Emme looks so happy. “Of course!”

I excuse myself. I’ve watched this play out for so long. Sophie needs Emme. Emme drops everything for Sophie.

I’ve never understood it. But Emme always stands up for Sophie. She’s her best friend after all. (That always stings a little, since I’m the one who has to wipe her tears away whenever Sophie blows her off.)

But Sophie is the reason Emme is at CPA. And as much as it pains me, I will always be grateful to Sophie Jenkins for that one thing.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a worrier and that I spend too much time stressing out over stupid things. And that I don’t speak up when I should. But out of all the things that weigh me down on a daily basis, there is one item that I feel the need to finally get off my chest.

I’ve been working up the courage to do it all day. But I forgot about one thing.

Mr. Abs.

Carter’s been watching us rehearse a few new numbers in the recording studio my parents built for me at the Park Avenue apartment (a benefit of being an only child).

He’s a little too enthusiastic after every song. He can’t seem to find another word to use besides awesome.

But everybody in the band is eating it up. Emme keeps smiling at him, Ben is practically throwing himself at him, and Jack is “totally stoked” to have him here.

I’ve decided that I’m finally going to tell Emme how I feel tonight. But I can’t do it with Carter permanently attached to Emme like a barnacle.

She starts to wrap her guitar cord around her arms as we pack up for the night. I quickly move toward her as Ben asks Carter about some homework assignment.

“Hey, Emme, can you stay after so I can talk to you?”

Her eyes dart to Carter for a moment. “Um, sure.” It comes out like a question. “I, ah, was going to …” She stops herself. “Yes, of course.”

I think she knows this conversation has been a long time coming, and it’s best if we both get it out of the way.

She goes over to talk to Carter, and Ben enthusiastically offers to leave with him. Jack keeps looking back between the two of us with a smile on his face. He’s had this fantasy since the beginning that Emme and I would end up together.

But we all know Emme’s thoughts on me as a boyfriend, so that is never going to happen.

“What’s up?” She looks nervous. She keeps plucking at the guitar in her lap.

“What’s going on with the Soap Stud?”

Emme glares at me.

I continue. “What? He comes to one gig and all of a sudden the two of you are…?”

She gets up. “This is what you wanted to talk to me about? Do I even need to remind you who he’s dating? Please, Ethan, you should know better. Just because a guy and a girl are friends doesn’t mean there is anything romantic going on.”

That’s not devastating to hear. “No, that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about, although I’m just trying to figure out when good ol’ Six-Pack became such an important part of your life.”

“He has a name.” She reaches for her jacket.

“Okay. Carter.” I take her jacket from her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just …”

“I know. It’s …” She bites her lip and my heart sinks. “I don’t know.” She falls back down on the couch, looking defeated. “The last few weeks have been weird. Sophie keeps disappearing, and I don’t think I need to tell you how things have been between you and me. It’s nice to have someone to talk to.”

A lump rises in my throat. I used to be that person, but I don’t know what I am to her anymore.

We sit in silence for a few moments. I figure she needs to hear it. “Do you have any idea how much you hurt me?” I try with every ounce of strength I have to not cry. But I think back to that day and what happened.

I walked into practice fifteen minutes late and I felt like crap.

“Sorry I’m late,” I said. So it’s not like I didn’t say I was sorry.

“Dude, did you just wake up in a gutter?” Jack asked.

I knew I was a wreck. I hadn’t slept in days, my hair was a mess, I hadn’t shaved, my clothes were wrinkled and dirty.

“No,” I told them. “Kelsey and I broke up.”

Nobody said anything.

“For real this time. I screwed up. What a shock, Ethan screwed up. I told her everything that happened after last week’s gig. About that girl. Whose name I can’t even remember. I’m devastated. I threw away everything for someone whose name I don’t even remember. I shouldn’t have had those drinks before the gig. I just needed to get some courage. It was our biggest gig ever, you know?”

More silence.

“What? Am I missing something?”

They all exchanged glances. Ben finally was the one to speak. “Well, I mean, it isn’t the first time you guys have broken up. Or the first time you cheated …”

Jack broke in. “Yeah, like every song you write is about it.”

“But we’re really done this time. There’s no way she’s going to take me back.”

Ben sighed. “Doesn’t she always?”

Emme let out a laugh. “Yeah, but she shouldn’t.”

“Oh! Burn!” Jack went to put his hand up to give Emme a high five, but she shrugged instead.

“I’m sorry, is this funny?” I couldn’t believe that, out of everyone, Emme would take Kelsey’s side in this.

“No, not at all.” Emme rubbed her eyes. “It’s not funny. It’s exhausting, Ethan. We go through this all the time. So just write your forgiveness song so we can move on.”

“Like it’s that simple? Emme, really? How can you be so cold to me?”

Emme’s face got flushed. “Get over yourself, Ethan.”

“What?”

She got up. “How can I be so cold? Am I the one who continually cheats on my girlfriend? That’s cold.”

I stared at her. I’d never heard her say anything negative about anybody. Ever. Did she really think that about me?

“You know what gets me? You really are an amazing person, seriously. I used to respect you so much.”

The words used to stung.

“You’re one of my closest friends, but when I think about the stuff you do … sometimes I don’t know why I trust you so much. I’ve never met anybody who hurts someone as much as you do. And now you’ve started drinking and doing God knows what before our shows. You’ve become so unpredictable onstage, we never know what you’re going to do.”

This riled me up. “Okay, so first I’m too quiet, now I’m too unpredictable. Can I ever do anything right?”

“Don’t blame your behavior on us. Take responsibility for once.”

“This isn’t easy for me, you know.”

Emme got in my face. “I’ll make it easy for you. STOP CHEATING.”

We were all surprised by Emme screaming. Jack, who is always smiling, looked stunned.

“Just STOP IT. Oh, you don’t know how you can get her back? STOP CHEATING, Ethan! It’s not that hard. Really, it isn’t. Or, better yet, stop getting back together and making promises you can’t keep.”

I tried to defend myself, but came up blank.

“You want to know what I think?” Emme asked.

Normally, the answer would have been yes, but not at that moment.

“You do this to yourself, put your finger repeatedly on the self-destruct button because you need it to write. It would be fine if you weren’t bringing others down with you. Have you for once thought about how it must feel for Kelsey? All you do is think about yourself, what a mess you’re in. Your pain. But what about Kelsey? The one YOU cheat on? She probably agonizes every time she can’t come to one of our shows, because of what happens when she doesn’t come. You CHEAT. You take whatever girl comes along and pays you a compliment and you forget about Kelsey.

“But lately that hasn’t been enough, has it? You need more things to feel sorry for yourself about, so you go get drunk. It’s like you’re afraid of being alone or coherent so you can deal with whatever is the real problem you have. And I feel sorry for you about that. But only for that. For the rest of the stuff, I’m just sick of it.

“We all are. So just figure it out, because I can’t do this anymore if you’re going to continue to be like this.”

I looked around to see Jack and Ben nodding.

“Honestly, Ethan, I don’t know who you are anymore. But whoever this is, I don’t like him very much.”

I didn’t know how to react or what to say. I still don’t. All I do know is that it has been weeks and it’s still awkward. We both stare at each other. Once again, there’s tension between us.

“You really did hurt me,” I say. “But I needed to hear it. You were right, and I think I’ve been better. Or at least I’ve tried to be.”

She nods.

“I’m not falling into my old traps. I’m not making any promises I can’t keep. I’m not drinking or doing anything that affects the band on or off the stage in a negative way.”

She keeps nodding.

“You said what you had to say because you care about me. So that’s what I’m doing now. Sort of returning the favor.”

Emme looks up at me for the first time. “What does any of this have to do with Carter?”

“It doesn’t. It has to do with the senior project.”

“Oh.” I don’t know what she thought I was going to say, but that certainly wasn’t it.

“I guess it’s pretty obvious that we’ll be working on our projects together.” She nods in agreement. “And I’m more than happy to have you record your songs here, but I have one condition.”

She looks at me quizzically.

“You have to sing your songs.”

She gets up. “Ethan, you know I can’t sing.”

“No, I don’t know that. Because you can sing. You don’t seem to realize that, because someone’s been brainwashing you all these years into thinking that she’s the superior singer.”

She clenches her jaw. “You’ve made your thoughts on Sophie abundantly clear. But she is the better singer.”

“Your songs would be a million times better if you sang them. Those songs are your heart and soul. You’re lending them to somebody who could never have as much heart as you have, even if she tried.”

“I can’t —”

I cut her off. “You’ve got to step up, Emme. You’ve got to let people hear your voice, hear you. You’re better than being stuck in the background.”

I take her hands.

“You’re my best friend. You’re the most remarkable person in my life. And … I want you to believe in yourself as much as I do. I told you that I’m not making any promises that I can’t keep. So here’s a promise to you. I will be there with you every step of the way and do whatever I can to help.”

I reach up and wipe away the tear that has begun to work its way down her cheek.

“I don’t think I can do it,” she says quietly.

“Yes, you can.”

I kiss her lightly on her forehead and wrap my arms around her.

I know she’s scared. Singing in front of an audience is intimidating. But if I can do it, she can.

I did it for her. Pretty much everything I’ve done out of my comfort zone, I’ve done for Emme.

The voices in my head quiet significantly as I sit there with her.

There is only one voice left.

There is only one thing left to say to her. But I’ve used up all my courage.

So as I hold her, I think in my head: Emme Connelly, I love you. And I’ve been in love with you since the first day we met.

Okay, so not everything has gone according to my Plan. It’s my senior year, my last chance to make a statement at this school. To stand out. To be a star.

So, no, my Plan hasn’t worked out. But there is no Plan B.

I don’t know where it all went wrong. At this point, I was supposed to be the biggest star in the school. The one that the entire incoming freshman class would follow around and aspire to be.

But no, I’m stuck in some cruel otherworld where the tables have turned and I’m the one forced to practically beg Emme for help. And the cruel irony of it all is that I’M the person who had to basically drag her here kicking and screaming. And what does she do to repay me? She goes off and becomes part of a band that everybody here seems to love.

The least she could do at this point is help me get the part in A Little Night Music.

“Are you sure I can’t help?” Amanda offers. “I can practice the songs with you.”

I turn my back to her as I examine my closet. “You’re so sweet, Mandy. It’s just that Emme’s in the band and will be playing during the auditions, so she’s got the inside edge that I need to nail the part.”

I start to rummage through my closet for the perfect audition outfit. I’m so sick of all my clothes. For whatever reason, Carter doesn’t want to go to any openings or premieres lately, so I haven’t had an excuse to beg my parents for money for a new outfit.

I’m so sick of begging people for help. Just wait until I’m out of CPA and become a star. They’ll all come groveling to me to thank them when I win my Best New Artist Grammy.

“You’ll totally get the part, Soph. You’re the most amazing singer in the entire school. Sarah Moffitt —”

I turn around quickly and snap at Amanda, “I thought we’d agreed to not mention that name.”

Amanda shuts her big mouth.

Sarah Moffitt. For whatever reason, she’s been every teacher’s favorite student since day one. It’s like some Big Conspiracy Against Sophie. She’s given all the lead parts. She’s not even that good a singer. Sure, she has better range than I do. So what? She has, like, zero stage presence.

I made sure she was auditioning for a different role before I signed up for Desirée. (Of course she’s chosen Madame Armfeldt – if she wants to play my mother, an old hag, that’s fine by me.) She’s been handed every role we’ve competed against. What ticked me off the most was last year, she got to play Rizzo in Grease while I had to be Frenchy. I didn’t get any solos to sing. It was annoying. But now we’re seniors and have to fight over the lead parts. I chose Desirée because of the song “Send in the Clowns.” It will be my moment to shine. Every teacher who has placed me as “average” – a word that I do not identify with and never have – will see that I belong in the Senior Showcase.

That’s the only focus I have this year. That showcase. I will get a spot, no matter what I have to do. And when those talent scouts see me, game over. I’ll have a record deal before we graduate. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. And I will do whatever it takes to get it.

I pull out a fitted skirt and blazer. “I figure I’ll put my hair up like this” – I pull my shiny dark brunette hair in a twist – “wear a simple, yet flattering suit, pearl earrings … a classic, elegant look. A little unexpected as well. I’m sure everybody else will have normal school clothes on. I should probably …”

I pick up the phone to call Emme. “Hey, Emme!”

Amanda sulks on the couch. She desperately wants to be the one to write my songs for me. But she can’t. Emme is a way better songwriter.

“Hi, Sophie!”

No matter how long I go without talking to Emme, she’s always there for me. She’s a true friend.

“I have a question about the auditions. Do you know if they’re expecting anybody to arrive in period costume?”

“Um, the show is set at the beginning of the nineteenth century, so I doubt it.”

“No, I know, but I figure I should try to look conservative. Do you know what the sight song is?”

For the audition, we have to sing a song from the musical – I’ll obviously be doing “Send in the Clowns” – but then we’re also forced to sing a song from sheet music, completely unprepared. Which I’ve always hated to do. Plus, it makes zero sense because all the songs we’re performing are from the musical. There aren’t any originals. I think Dr. Ryan, the director of the musical, is doing it solely to make it difficult for me to get the part. She beyond favors Sarah, it’s so ridiculous. I swear, I even once heard Sarah call Dr. Ryan by her first name, Pam. Like that is appropriate student-teacher behavior. It seems that Sarah is doing whatever it takes to get ahead, so I’m just following her lead.

“You know that I’m not allowed to tell you that,” Emme says softly.

I wish Emme realized that all is not fair in auditions and war.

“I know, but I get so nervous during auditions, especially if you aren’t there backing me up.”

“But I will be there.”

Dammit. “Yeah, but it won’t be just you and me. I feel all alone in this, and you know, I …” I know what will work with Emme. I start working up tears. “I really need this, Em. And you are the only one who can help me. I need you. Please.”

I sniffle while Emme takes her time to respond. Amanda flips through one of my magazines.

“The problem is that it’s an original song. Dr. Ryan asked Ethan to use one of his songs for the audition.”

Crap. Ethan. Probably the person who would most love to see me fail. That guy has not liked me since day one and he’s all overprotective of Emme, like she belongs to him. She owes him nothing. I’m the reason she’s at CPA, not him.

“Why does he hate me so much, Em? Why?” I wish Dr. Ryan could see me now; I’d be guaranteed the part. My voice cracks and everything.

“He doesn’t … oh, Sophie. I’m so sorry that you’re upset. Let me see what I can do.”

“You know that I’m eternally grateful to you, right, Em? I’m going to entitle my first album Emme is my BFF and I owe her everything.”

I go on and on about how amazing and wonderful she is and pretend that talking to her has made everything better. I hang up the phone and see Amanda staring at me. “Oh, Emme!” She exaggerates her words. “You are the best thing ever, thank you for getting off your high horse for two seconds to help li’l ol’ me.”

I bust out laughing. I can’t believe how needy I sounded.

“Enough about Emme.” I pick up my outfit to try it on. “I’ve got a role to win.”

Sometimes it’s like pulling teeth with Emme. You’d think she’d want to help her best friend land a role that could change her life, but she keeps saying things like she’ll “get in trouble” or Ethan will “kill” her.

Does she not realize that this is how show business works? It’s a tough place and you have to take whatever advantages you can. For me, that’s knowing as much about the audition as possible. And the person who can give me that is Emme.

Although, if I have to keep forcing tears with her, I’m going to have nothing left for the actual audition. Not with the constant role I play in Who Loves Emme More? I’ve even been wearing the bracelet she bought me for Christmas or my birthday or something a few years ago. I know how much it means to her that I wear it. It’s not really my style, it’s cutesy – like Emme. My style is more fashion-forward, modern chic.

Anyway, I decide to sit it out. She’ll crack if I give her the silent treatment.

She just sits there and studies on her bed. She isn’t even looking at me. Or noticing that I’m mad at her.

Different strategy. “Ahem!” I say loudly.

She looks up. Bingo.

“So sorry, Em. I’m just thinking about the Senior Showcase and hoping that I have enough major parts coming up to be considered for the audition.”

We aren’t even allowed to audition for the showcase; we are asked. And even then, your spot isn’t guaranteed.

“But it won’t matter, I guess. I’m singing one of your songs after all. No one can say no to an Emme Connelly song.”

Flattery, my dears, gets you everywhere.

She smiles at me … then starts reading from her history book.

“Have you decided what songs you’re going to put on your CD for your senior thesis?”

She looks up. “Um, not really. I know a few. I’m starting to work on a new song for the showcase, plus I need a couple more for the college auditions.”

Then something hits me.

“You know what’s awesome. Your senior project is perfect. It helps you with your college applications and we can use it as my demo.”

Emme bites her lip. Her and her stupid lip biting. Just flippin’ spit it out if you have something to say!

“Is there a problem?” I try to say sweetly.

She shakes her head. “No, it’s just that I didn’t think you were going to sing on it. You haven’t …”

I know we didn’t talk about it, but I just assumed. Plus …

“Well, if I don’t sing on it, who will?” Does she not realize I’ve been doing her a favor all these years? Giving my voice to her songs.

“I am.” She says it so softly.

Obviously this is some sick joke she’s playing.

I give a light laugh. “Oh, Emme, you almost had me. You know that I’d be more than happy to help you out. Plus, when I send out my demos, it will put your songs out there as well. It’s what friends do.”

I can’t believe Emme would forget that she’s always been a huge part of my Plan. Yes, my demo will get me recognition with managers and labels, but this is how she’ll get her break as a songwriter and producer as well. It’s how the business works. I’ve done my research, so a little appreciation would be nice.

Emme shakes her head. “I know, but it’s just … we’re recording in Ethan’s studio and it’s sort of a condition of his….”

“Oh. I get it. His condition is to ruin my life. Is that it? First, he refuses to let me see the song for the audition tomorrow and now he wants to prevent me from getting a record contract?”

Emme looks upset, like she’s about to cry. I don’t see what she has to cry about. It isn’t her life that’s being sabotaged, it’s mine.

“Sophie, he thinks it would be good for the college recruiters to hear me sing it, that’s all. We can record your vocals as well and do a demo for you.”

Well, that’s better. But there’s still something she’s not giving me.

“I’m sorry, Em. I know you’d never betray me. I’m just so worked up about tomorrow’s audition. If I just had some idea of the other song, just a little, teeny, tiny clue, I’d feel so much better.”

Oh, what a surprise, she’s biting her lip. She walks over to the full-size keyboard in her room.

“Okay. I don’t know it that well since I’m not playing on it. I’m just going to sit here and play what I remember. This is between you and me.”

I get up to give her a hug. “Oh, Emme! You have no idea how much I appreciate this. You’re the best!”

I sit back down on her bed and close my eyes and she starts playing a melody. I begin to hum along to it and play it in my head for the rest of the night.

I totally nail the audition. I know my “Send in the Clowns” is killer, but when Dr. Ryan hands me the sheet music for the sight-reading portion, I bite my lip (in honor of Emme!) and pretend to study it. I sing the first half of the song exactly as written, but then, for the last verse, I close my eyes and put my Sophie touch on it.

When I open my eyes, Dr. Ryan clearly looks impressed. Ethan looks pissed. Like I care.

“How’d it go?” Carter greets me at my locker.

“Incredible!”

He gives me a hug. “That’s great!”

“Listen, I’ve got my bag to get ready for tonight, so I figured we can go to your place so I can change.”

Carter and I are going to some art opening tonight. Totally not my thing, but it’s the first social thing he’s been up for in a while. I got this black cocktail dress and funky red shoes to go with the SoHo crowd. At least, I hope it’s in SoHo, or at the Met or MoMA. Somewhere with fabulously trendy people and an awesome swag bag.

“I thought we’d just have dinner down the street, since the exhibit is here.”

“What?”

Carter shakes his head. “I told you it was Trevor’s exhibit of his impressionist era–influenced paintings.”