Текст книги "Bone Mountain"
Автор книги: Eliot Pattison
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Part Two
Ashes
Chapter Five
More than twenty villagers were lined up against the rock, all wearing expressions of defeat, hands at their sides, waiting as two soldiers checked their identity papers. Their faces told Shan the villagers had been through such checks often. Some suppressed anger, some fear. All suppressed indignation at being treated like outsiders in their own land. "Where's your papers?" Shan had heard a Tibetan boy shout out at a knob at a Public Security checkpoint just three months before. The knob had shackled the boy and in an hour's time the youth had been on the way to a year's imprisonment.
The villagers moved slowly when asked to reach inside their clothing to produce their papers, and watched not the sergeant who barked orders at them but a second soldier, behind the first, who held a semiautomatic rifle, an AK-47, barrel pointed down, hand on the trigger guard. It was impossible to predict what would happen when Public Security or the army came to such a place. More often than not any Tibetans who had their registration papers would be released. But if the patrol had a mission beyond merely sweeping for illegals, even those with perfect papers might be detained. In slow seasons some enforcement officials were known to pick up innocent Tibetans and detain them until they offered up an accusation. "Everyone is guilty of something," an interrogation officer had once declared to Shan, "we just don't have time to investigate them all."
Nyma pulled Lhandro into a sitting position. Blood trickled down his left temple, where he had obviously been struck, probably by the butt of a rifle. The nun put her arms around him, like a protecting mother, and glanced at Shan with moist eyes. She knew about such patrols, too. The villagers might be left alone, but Nyma, who had insisted she was not a real nun, could still be sentenced to prison for wearing the robe of a nun without a license from the Bureau of Religious Affairs.
"That yak, it ran like an antelope," Lokesh said quietly, toward the sky. The nearest soldier made a growling sound and raised the butt of his gun, warning Lokesh to be silent.
Shan looked at his old friend. At least they had been able to see the American with the yak, Lokesh meant. It was a prisoner's game Shan and Lokesh had often played during their years in the gulag. Fix an image in your mind and let it fill your awareness, blocking out the pain and hunger and fear. Shan remembered once coming back in a prison truck from a road construction site where several old monks had collapsed in weakness and been beaten and dragged away by the guards, too weak to do their work because their breakfast and lunch had consisted of a thin gruel made of ground corncobs and water. "I saw a snowflake land on a butterfly today," one of the battered lamas suddenly said, and earned a blow to his skull from a guard's baton for breaking the rule of silence. But by the time they had reached the prison every man in the truck had been smiling serenely, their minds filled with the image of the butterfly.
They would be taken to an army prison first, Shan suspected, then he would be separated from Lokesh. Lokesh's only crime was not having papers to travel outside Lhadrung, where he had been released from prison. But once they focused on Shan they would quickly discover the tattoo on his arm, and check it with Public Security computers. They would treat Shan as a fugitive from the gulag, and to such men a fugitive was like fresh meat thrown to starved dogs. He fought the temptation to look back toward the hills beyond the village, where another fugitive, without a tongue, hid.
The man in the chair tossed his cigarette to the ground, stood, and stepped toward the team checking papers. He impatiently ordered the soldiers to stop, then surveyed the expanding line of villagers. After he rose he strutted along the line with an imperious air, pausing to light another cigarette with an elegant gold lighter, and tapped the shoulders of several of those in line, ordering them away with a gesture of his index finger. A middle-aged woman a few feet down the line suddenly stepped forward and pointed to Shan and his three companions.
"They aren't from our village," she shouted, "just remember that, we never saw them before. We never helped them!"
Shan sighed. He didn't resent the woman's words. No doubt she had been before security squads before, had learned from the Chinese that the best way to protect herself and her family was to deflect official attention to others. But he felt sorry for the way she would feel later, and the way her neighbors would look at her.
The officer paused and stared at Shan, as if noticing him for the first time, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and blowing a stream of smoke in Shan's direction before he turned back to the line. He was finished in another minute, having dismissed all the women and children, and all the younger men. Every man remaining in the line was at least thirty years old, Shan guessed. The officer walked along the line again and dismissed two more men. They were older but short, less than five and a half feet tall, the shortest in the line.
At a snap of the officer's fingers the two soldiers who had been checking papers sprang back into action, scrutinizing the papers of the six men remaining with louder voices and rougher actions than they had used before. The officer paced impatiently as they worked, finishing his cigarette in three long inhalations, then lighting another from its butt. They were at the fifth man in the line when he lost interest and stepped inside the two lines of soldiers that still guarded the boulders. They weren't a patrol, Shan realized. They were what the purbas called a snatch team. They were looking for someone in particular.
"She said you're outsiders," the officer observed in a thin, slow voice, blowing smoke into Shan's face.
Shan and Lokesh looked at the ground. He felt strangely removed from the scene, as if he observed himself from afar. A part of him had never doubted he would one day return to the gulag. The yak ran like an antelope. He thought of the joyful American wanderer, hoping the man had escaped. It had been an impossible task, foolish to think Shan could help save their valley. Maybe in another hundred years the Tibetans could find a truly virtuous Chinese.
The sergeant held something up for the officer to see, the torn half of the Dalai Lama photograph. He flipped the card in his fingers when he caught the officer's attention. It was part of what soldiers did when they saw such photos, one of the thousand mannerisms of oppression ingrained in soldiers and knobs. Sometimes on the reverse of such photos a Tibetan flag was printed, which would guarantee arrest, and worse. This photo was blank on the reverse.
"My name," the officer announced abruptly, "is Colonel Lin of the 54th Mountain Combat Brigade." He spoke slowly, a strange anticipation in his voice. He surveyed the line of villagers before turning to Shan and his companions. "I will ask questions. You will give answers."
Shan looked into the Colonel's face, hard and gnarled as a fist. The 54th Mountain Combat Brigade had caught up with them. He fought the temptation to look toward the village again. Surely someone in the caravan had seen, surely they would all be fleeing into the mountains by now. He glanced at his companions. Nyma looked at the ground, the color gone from her face. Lokesh looked at the sky. Lhandro, still on the ground, blood trickling down his face, glared at the colonel with a mix of fear and loathing. He was looking at the Lujun Division, the soldiers who had massacred his ancestors.
Colonel Lin reached out suddenly and pulled a baton from the belt of the nearest soldier. He stepped to Shan, who had fixed his gaze on the little pool of blood beneath Lhandro, then silently placed the end of the baton under Shan's chin and lifted his head with it. Their eyes met and Lin studied him for a moment.
"Han," Lin observed under his breath, like a curse. Lin was Shan's age, slightly shorter than Shan, with a metallic cast to his eyes. The officer hesitated a moment, as if wondering whether he saw challenge in Shan's face, frowned, dropped the baton, gesturing his sergeant forward as he turned to Lokesh. Lin examined the old Tibetan much more intensely than he had studied Shan. Shan barely noticed as the sergeant padded his pockets. He was watching the end of the baton, tensing his legs to leap and take the blow if Lin raised it to strike Lokesh. But the colonel took Lokesh's free hand by the wrist and turned it over to study the palm.
"Nothing," the sergeant spat.
Lin's eyes lit with an icy gleam as he looked back at Shan. "You have no papers?" he asked quietly.
"Just a brochure to teach me serenity," Shan said.
Lin seemed to welcome his defiance. A thin smile creased his face, and he pointed the sergeant toward the clipboard on the chair. "You will give me your name."
Shan looked back at the pool of blood.
Lin dropped Lokesh's hand and presented his raised palm toward the old Tibetan.
"Do you have papers, comrade?" Lin asked in Chinese.
What had he been looking for in Lokesh's palm? Lin was not looking for a piece of stone. He was looking for a specific person, a person with what on his palm: The calluses of a hard labor fugitive perhaps? Or not calluses? Scars? Did it mean Lin knew who had stolen his stone?
Instead of presenting his Lhadrung registration paper, Lokesh offered his lopsided grin, which seemed to amuse Lin. The colonel studied Shan again, then bent his head to gaze with interest at Lokesh's grizzled jaw, which obviously had been broken, as though he were a connoisseur of fractured jaws. He looked into Lokesh's eyes, then lifted up the old man's arm and pushed up his sleeve. Six inches up the arm, on the inside, was a tattooed line of numbers.
"Lao gai," Lin announced with a tone of satisfaction, and called out the number to the sergeant, now standing at his shoulder with the clipboard. "We asked his name," the colonel said to his sergeant, for Shan's sake, then sighed and lifted Lokesh's hat from his head, handing it carefully to the nearest soldier. He studied the crown of Lokesh's head and tapped the baton in his palm.
"My name is Shan," Shan said, watching the tip of the baton.
"A Han traveling with a Tibetan criminal," Lin observed in an accusing tone.
Lokesh's head shifted upward. Shan followed his gaze toward a line of birds flying low, approaching the village. A dozen bar-headed geese, bound, Shan suspected, for Lamtso.
As the colonel twisted his head and saw the birds his eyes lit with a new hunger and he snapped out a sharp syllable. A soldier ran to the first truck, opened the door painted with a fierce, leaping snow leopard, and retrieved a heavy gun, a long semiautomatic rifle. Lin grabbed the weapon, waited a moment, and when the line of birds was fifty yards away, no more than thirty high, he jerked the rifle to his shoulder and fired half a dozen rounds. Nyma cried out. Lokesh gave a small, disbelieving groan. Two of the big geese tumbled to the earth, a third somersaulted in the air, dropping low to the ground, but kept flying. Several of the soldiers cheered, and one darted away to fetch the dead birds. Lin returned the gun to the soldier who had retrieved it for him and turned back to his prisoners, his icy expression unchanged.
Lhandro was on his knees now, blood trickling down his cheek. As Nyma began to help him to his feet the soldier beside her pulled her away. When she resisted the soldier slapped her hard across the cheek. Shan watched in horror as the nun recoiled, then pushed back as though to strike the soldier, who lashed out with his hand again, grabbing her necklace, twisting it until it choked her, until it broke and the large gau it supported dropped free into his hand. He glanced at the amulet then slammed it against the rock wall. Nyma groaned and seemed about to jump for the prayer box, but froze as if she realized she should not draw the soldier's attention to it. She had once opened her gau to show Shan the treasure inside, covering her prayer. A photo of the Dalai Lama, with the Tibetan flag on the reverse.
Lhandro struggled to his feet, reached into his shirt pocket and with a shaking hand pulled out his papers.
Lin seized them before the sergeant reached Lhandro. "Yapchi," he read with sudden interest. "Yapchi," he repeated in a meaningful tone. His eyes flared, first with anger, then satisfaction. A murmur spread through his soldiers, several of whom raised the barrels of their weapons toward Lhandro. "Over fifty miles from your fields, farmer," the colonel observed, then surveyed Nyma, Shan, and Lokesh. "All of you from Yapchi?" He growled, his fingers clenching, the knuckles white. "Why here? Why so far away?" His lips curled to reveal a row of teeth stained with tobacco and Lin paused, as if relishing the moment. His eyelids seemed to droop. It was an expression Shan had seen in many such officials, a casual, patient cruelty hidden in a languid face.
"It's too early to weed our barley," Lhandro ventured weakly.
Lin gestured to the sergeant, who trotted to the cab of the first truck and marched back with an expectant gaze, holding a foot-long metal object in both hands.
"Have you been to Lhasa?" the colonel asked, gripping Lhandro's arm tightly. "Where's your bags? Your packs? I must see them!" The sergeant snapped his heels together and extended the object to Lin. Something frigid seized Shan's stomach. It was Public Security's favorite import from America, an electric cattle prod.
Nyma also recognized the instrument. She gave a high-pitched moan and stepped in front of Lhandro. Shan stared at the colonel in confusion. The prod was something the knobs used, seldom the army. It was for interrogation cells, not a remote roadside at the edge of the changtang. The colonel was desperate to extract information from his prisoners.
As Lin shot an amused glance toward Nyma and accepted the prod from the soldier a loud, bold voice rang out from the rocks.
"Yo, General, your majesty! My friends and I were having a peaceful picnic. No one invited the Boy Scouts." Shan turned to see the American at the split in the rocks. He spoke in Mandarin. His mouth was turned up in a grin but his eyes were cool, and fixed on the colonel.
The colonel's lips pursed in a silent snarl, and the officer stepped closer to the American. A green nylon rucksack hung from one of Winslow's shoulders. In his hand was a water bottle, from which he drank with a casual, unconcerned air as several soldiers closed about him.
"You've made a serious mistake," Colonel Lin growled. Lhandro's papers, still in his hand, disappeared into the pocket of Lin's tunic.
"Someone has," Winslow agreed, in English, and slipped his free hand into a pocket of his rucksack. The nearest soldier lifted the barrel of his gun. The American produced a thick carrot, leveled it at the soldier as if it were a weapon, then raised it to his mouth and loudly bit off the end. Several of the freed villagers, watching now from beyond the army trucks, laughed.
"You have no idea," Lin said icily. With a gesture of his hand two soldiers sprang into action, one leaping to each side of the American, pinning his arms behind him. The rucksack and water bottle dropped to the ground. The carrot flew through the air and landed at Shan's feet.
Winslow seemed not to notice the rough treatment. "Not much," he agreed, in Mandarin, grinning at Lin as the soldiers, still holding his arms, pressed him against the rock wall.
The sergeant jammed his hand into the breast pocket of the American's shirt and pulled out a bundle of papers, with half a dozen photographs of the Dalai Lama, which he dropped in disgust, grinding them into the soil with his boot. The American looked forlornly at the ruined photos. "You know," he sighed, "they say that man is the reincarnation of the Compassionate Buddha." His gaze drifted toward Colonel Lin, and Shan shuddered. The American was deliberately badgering the colonel. Lin returned the American's stare, then pointedly looked at the cattle prod. With a nod from him the soldiers began dragging Winslow toward the first truck.
Lin spat a curse under his breath and turned back to Lhandro, the prod still in his hand. The American was but a momentary distraction. A clanging of metal rose from the rear of the second truck and a soldier began tossing leg manacles onto the ground.
Lin stepped back to Lhandro and abruptly hit his face with the back of his hand. "Answer my questions!" he snarled, and hit him again. The farmer gave a small, surprised whimper, then swayed. Lin looked at his hand and frowned again. There was fresh blood on it. A metallic snap punctuated the momentary silence. The sergeant had fastened the manacle on Lhandro's ankles.
As Shan watched Lin, the icy knot in his gut grew tighter and more painful. Everything– first Lhandro's evasiveness, then the American's appearance and his disrespectful attitude, and finally the stain of blood on Lin's fingers– had only served to fan the flames of Lin's rage. His hand made a tiny, almost imperceptible motion toward his belt, snapping open the holster that held a small automatic pistol.
"You are going to write statements," Lin barked. "Every detail of how you arrived at this place, why you are traveling so far from your home, who else is with you, whom you encountered on the way, where you have been for the past three months." As he spoke, the soldier who had produced the manacles held up a roll of heavy, wide grey tape. It would be used, Shan knew, to seal their mouths as they wrote. "You will write them separately, and if your reports do not perfectly match you will be charged with conspiracy to obstruct administration of the people's justice."
"Hell, General, you're not Public Security," Winslow said in a loud, glib voice. Never in his life had Shan encountered anyone so foolish as to deliberately mock a senior PLA officer. "Just the damned army." One of the soldiers twisted the American's arm behind him, and pain erupted on Winslow's face. But as the soldier kept twisting the American forced his mouth back into a grin.
Suddenly the short Tibetan in the business suit emerged from the rocks. He stared in dismay at the American, and seemed about to shout. He turned to the colonel and opened his mouth, but still no words came out. Then his shoulders sagged and he stared at the black cap in his hands, stepped toward Winslow and placed it on the American's head. Everyone stared, confused, except Winslow, who laughed.
An instant later the sergeant gave a cry of alarm and darted to Lin's side, handing him Winslow's documents. As Shan stared in confusion the colonel's eyes grew round, then he threw the papers on the ground with a look of disgust and barked out a series of orders so quickly Shan could not understand them. The men behind Winslow released him. The soldier holding Lokesh's hat threw it at the old Tibetan and followed the others of the squad into the second truck. The sergeant released the manacles from Lhandro and threw all the chains, and the colonel's chair, into the rear of the truck.
Colonel Lin stepped backwards toward the first vehicle, silently watching Lhandro and Lokesh, fury back in his eyes. In another thirty seconds he had climbed into the lead truck and both vehicles were speeding down the road. As the Tibetans watched in disbelief Shan unwrapped the wire from his wrist, then bent and picked up the carrot and the papers. He studied the American's passport a moment and looked up, more confused than ever. The passport in his hand said that Shane Winslow was an American diplomat.
"It was just a piece of paper," Nyma said in confusion as she watched the American and the short Tibetan jog toward their own truck. Winslow had said nothing after the soldiers sped away, only cast a satisfied grin toward Shan and his companions before gesturing his nervous escort toward the red truck. They seemed in as much a hurry to leave as Lhandro, who had sent Nyma to run and bring the caravan to the road.
"But it had powerful words," Lokesh suggested in a tentative voice.
Shan glanced at his friend, who had been taught that there were adepts who could write special, secret words that would unleash powerful forces upon those who read them. In a sense Shan knew Lokesh was right. He could not imagine any paper a foreigner could show a man like Colonel Lin that would cause him to reverse his behavior, except the very paper Winslow had produced. Lin would gleefully help deport a troublesome foreigner, and would not hesitate to detain suspicious citizens in front of a foreigner. But whatever he had had in mind for Shan and his companions, he would not do it in front of a foreign government. And Winslow's paper said he was the U.S. government, or at least its only representative for probably hundreds of miles.
Still, that did not explain why the American was in such a hurry to leave. It was as if, although not concerned about confronting the ruthless colonel, he was nonetheless worried that Lin would report his presence to other authorities. Perhaps, Shan suspected, his own American authorities. Shan could not imagine a reason why an American diplomat would be in such an unlikely place, a forgotten village in a remote corner of the changtang wilderness.
Winslow tossed his rucksack into the back of the truck amid a throng of villagers who were quietly offering their gratitude, some pressing forward to touch him for good luck again. He opened the passenger's door as the nervous Tibetan, still in his suit coat, started the motor, then reached into his rucksack and produced a stack of the Dalai Lama photographs, the first of which he handed to the young girl whose photo had been destroyed by the soldiers. Shan stared at the strange American as he distributed a dozen more photos to the eager villagers. Whatever his official duties might be, Shan was certain they did not include passing out contraband photos of the exiled Tibetan leader.
As Winslow raised a foot into the truck the first of the caravan sheep appeared, trotting with Anya and Tenzin down the dirt track that ran through the center of the village. The American paused, as if the sheep reminded him of something, and he turned toward Shan. He hesitated a moment, pulled a map from the dashboard of the truck, and trotted to Shan's side. Suddenly Shan recalled the American's inquiries just before Lin had arrived. He had been asking about their travels through the mountains.
Winslow held the map, folded to show the region north of Lhasa into Qinghai Province. "You came from the west?" he said. "Can you show me? How close to the Kunlun?" he asked, referring to the vast range of mountains that divided Tibet from the Moslem lands to the north, running his finger along the provincial border. "Which way? What route?"
"South, we came from the south," Nyma volunteered, from behind Shan. Winslow nodded energetically, and his gaze shifted from the map to the sheep.
"Those bags," he said in a surprised tone. "Salt? I've heard that in the old days caravans– by god it is, isn't it?" he exclaimed to Shan, in a tone that almost suggested envy. The American's fingers began roaming across the map. "That means one of the big lake basins, right?"
"Lamtso," Nyma answered enthusiastically.
The American nodded slowly, and traced his finger along the space between the lake and the village.
"You are looking for someone?" Shan asked.
Winslow nodded. "An American woman. Missing for several weeks. Presumed dead."
"We saw no Americans," Lhandro interjected from Shan's side. The rongpa cast a glance of warning at Shan. "We thank you for your help," he added hurriedly. "We will watch for her." Lhandro pressed Shan's arm, as though to push him way.
The American paused and studied the two men. "Your route is to the north," he said with a speculative look in that direction. "But you turned onto the road to the east."
Lhandro stepped away and gestured for Shan to follow. "Thank you," the Tibetan said again.
Winslow grinned, held up his hands as though in surrender and backed away. He climbed into the truck and the nervous little man behind the wheel put it into gear and sped down the road, away from the village and toward the northern highway that would take them to Lhasa.
As Shan watched the truck an animal brushed his knees, and he looked down. The ram with the red-spotted pouch was at his side, looking up at him with frightened eyes.
Every creature in the caravan, from the silent Tenzin to Anya to the sheep and dogs seemed to sense an urgency that afternoon. They moved at a half-walk, half-trot, not pausing for food or drink. After an hour Lhandro stopped and unloaded one of the horses, redistributing its cargo among the other four horses as he nervously watched the road. His eyes heavy with worry, he gave the horse to one of the Yapchi men, who trotted away to scout ahead, and in the adjacent hills. Dremu had not appeared since their encounter with the army.
When they had covered the ten miles of road two hours of daylight remained. Lhandro pushed them on, up the trail to the north until it curved, blocking the road from view. As the others rested Shan and Lhandro studied the steep, rough track that led north, looking for any sign of soldiers. Lin sent the man on the horse into the hills ahead. Everything seemed to have changed since the village. Colonel Lin, from whom the eye of Yapchi had been stolen, now knew about a band of travelers from Yapchi. He knew Lokesh was from a lao gai camp. He had lost them as prisoners only because of the American's intervention. But Lin would not give up, and his soldiers were trained for setting traps in the rough mountain terrain. Such men could easily elude the caravan scout, or trick him into thinking the path was safe.
"The colonel doesn't know our path," Shan said to Lhandro. "And he doesn't know about the sheep." In the hours on the road Lhandro had seemed to transform from the spirited, energetic rongpa to a man carrying a heavy burden of fear. The colonel had taken his papers and kept them, had discovered he was from Yapchi. He had felt Lin's manacles and for a few terrible minutes Lhandro had no doubt believed that he would spend his remaining years in a Chinese prison, losing everything, even, or perhaps especially, losing the chenyi stone.
"I didn't have to bring Anya on the caravan," the farmer said. "It should have just been me and the older men. And we shouldn't have involved Nyma. She wants to be a nun so bad… She needs to be anun… This is not a nun's work. Some of us would gladly…"
"Somehow," Shan said, "I don't think Anya or Nyma would have let you deny them the opportunity."
Lhandro offered a weak smile, then whistled sharply and began moving up the track with long, determined strides. At first only the dogs followed him, but he did not call out, he did not turn, he did not gesture for the others. The largest of the mastiffs paused when Lhandro had gone a hundred feet, then turned and barked once. The sheep raised their weary heads and began to follow. Anya stood and extended her hand to Lokesh. The two walked by the sheep, hand in hand, and Anya began to sing one of her songs. Slowly, groaning as they lifted their exhausted limbs, the others of the caravan silently rose and followed.
After a mile Lhandro gestured Shan to his side and pointed up the trail. Shan raised his hand to shield his eyes and saw their scout, two hundred yards away, unmounted, facing them with his hands raised above his waist, open, as if in an expression of chagrin. Lhandro and Shan jogged toward the man.
As they approached the scout disappeared behind a large outcropping. Lhandro halted and led Shan off the trail, around the backside of the outcropping. They edged around the rock to see the back of a large man in a bright red nylon coat and black cap sitting before a tiny metal frame that hissed and produced a small blue flame. Their scout squatted beside the man, drinking from a steaming metal cup. As Shan ventured forward the man in the red coat turned.
"Only have two cups in my kitchen," Winslow declared, extending a second mug toward Shan. "You're welcome to share. No butter, no salt. Just good Chinese green." Shan accepted the mug, savoring the aroma of the green leaves for a moment. He saw the others staring at him, then self-consciously extended the mug to Lhandro. He blinked for a second, something blurred in his mind's eye, and he saw his mother, sitting with him, patiently watching a steaming porcelain pot as green leaves infused the water. The pot had a picture of a boat on a river by willow trees. It was the way his memory sometimes worked now, after the knobs had used electricity and chemicals on him. His early years lay down a long dark corridor, where doors sometimes, but rarely, were unlatched by a random, unexpected event. Not events as such, but smells, or other sensations, even the inflection in someone's voice.
"Wasn't hard to figure," he heard Winslow saying. "You were going north from the lake and suddenly veered east, to the road. If you had been intending all along to go east you would have taken the road from the lake to the east. So you were blocked unexpectedly from going further north. The pass you intended to take got blocked by a snow avalanche or rock slide, I figure. If you were on the road it was just to get to the next pass." He gestured toward the high northern peaks. "Up there. The Tangula Mountains they call them, a spur from the Kunlun."
"I don't understand," Shan said.
"My government will pay a transportation fee if you want," Winslow said, and grinned as he saw Shan's confusion. "I'm going with you."
Lhandro stared woodenly at the American, then quietly asked the scout to make sure the caravan kept moving.
"You don't know where we're going," Shan pointed out.