Текст книги "Bite Me"
Автор книги: Cynthia Dane
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Текущая страница: 13 (всего у книги 15 страниц)
When he begins to move, I nearly cry. I don’t know what I’m crying from. Fear? Relief? I don’t care. There are tears falling beneath my blindfold, but I can’t bring myself to pay attention to them. Because Ian Mathers is fucking me from behind, his hand pulling my hair, making my scalp hurt. Then he shoves my head into the pillow, all my moans muffled as he plows between my legs, grunting and talking so fucking dirty.
“Tell me you don’t like this.” His hand slaps my ass, and I sob, my body loving it so much while my mind screams. “Tell me you don’t want me fucking you until you’re mine.”
I can’t bring myself to say that… because it’s not true.
“Take it, Katie. Take my whole fucking cock.”
He pushes on the curve in my spine, which makes my ass bump the air, angling my inner canal so he can split me in two.
The bastard wasn’t kidding. He’s going to tear me to pieces.
It hurts. Between my sore ass and the way he’s going at me, I can barely stand the pain. The glorious, beautiful pain that is taking over my brain and purging it of everything I ever felt in my life.
It’s so good. It’s so hot.
I give myself over to it.
Why not? It’s happening. I can’t turn back. I’m living in this moment, with this man inside me, on me, taking me and having me for himself.
It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. I thought I knew what it felt like to have a man inside me. They all had condoms. A barrier between me and that smooth skin and smoother heat radiating into me. Everything feels… more intimate.
Forbidden, but intimate.
“That’s it.” Ian spanks me again, and I groan into his pillow. I’m groaning from everything and anything happening to me at this point. “Surrender to me.”
Surrender.
That’s the word I’m looking for. Surrender. Give. Bestow. Sur-fucking-render.
It’s like he’s caught me after a long, arduous chase. I’ve been ran down, trapped in a corner after fleeing something I know I have to do. My knees dig into the bed, hair pulling at my scalp and painful pleasure ripping through me like electrical sparks hitting every sensitive place. Ian pulls out and then rams himself back in, the head of his cock deftly sliding into my G-spot.
I can feel it coming. The moment I come, the moment I surrender.
I know now. All of this is for me. I asked for it. I wanted to know what it felt like to give in, to surrender.
Over ten years of having regular sex, and fuck me, this is the first time I’ve felt this aware of every part of my body.
Ian’s hands grasp my hips, pulling me onto his cock every time he drives into me. Sometimes I prop myself up and feel my nipples caress the bedspread. Other times I collapse, or he pushes my face into the pillow, pounding into me like a fucking animal. A steady, rhythmic animal who knows what the hell he’s doing.
My whole life I’ve been like a wild steed. Doing what I please. Taking what I want. Avoiding the civilized world because I refuse to be tamed. The more Ian fucks me, the more I feel myself being lulled into security, into the idea that this isn’t so bad after all.
I hear it all. My wetness on his cock. The grunts in his throat. My heart pounding in my ears. I have no control over anything, not even my hips. I’m completely at this man’s mercy. And I like it.
His cock is pulsing. It’s so hot that I moan against my handcuffs. Heat, heat, heat. I know he’s indulging in my inner heat. It’s getting easier and easier to take his whole size.
I’m surrendering.
Just as I feel myself on the edge of losing it, of jumping head first into orgasm, Ian pulls out of me and shoves my ass over. I think he’s done. Did he come and I didn’t feel it? No. I would have felt that for the first time in my life. Instead, he’s uncuffing me, ripping the blindfold off my head and rolling me over.
Oh my God, he’s so damned hot.
Naked, muscular, gritting his teeth. He’s getting ready to rip my throat out as he claims the rest of my body with his cock. I barely have time to enjoy the view of what’s pressing upon me before Ian pulls my legs apart and drives back into me, digging deeper and farther back than he’s dared to before.
My hands are free, but I don’t know what to do with them besides grabbing the pillow beneath my head. He’s holding my ankles, cupping me beneath my knees, making sure I’m angled for pleasure as he slams into me.
“Say it,” he growls, tapping one of my breasts and peaking my nipple. “Say you’re mine and that you surrender.”
Words don’t want to happen right now. Thinking about them takes away from concentrating on the pulses rippling through me. “I’m yours… I’m yours…” My eyes try to roll back again. God, he feels so big within me. Or maybe I feel smaller. I don’t know. “I surrender.”
He stills, and all of me is stretching to accommodate him. I don’t know how he has lasted this long. I don’t know how I’ve lasted this long, other than I’m afraid to come. “Do you want me to come inside you, Katie?”
I grimace, holding on to the warmth of his cock. Ian nearly falls on top of me, his lips bruising my throat as he waits for my answer.
This man wants me so much. I’m doing this to him. I’m turning him into an uncontrollable alpha male who won’t be able to stop soon enough.
Not that I want him to.
“Yes. Make it feel good.”
“Katie…”
His breath is in my ear, his tongue down my throat, his lips everywhere. My free arms wrap around him, holding him to me as my legs spread as far as they can to take him inside me. This is it. This is what it means to be possessed by someone. Everything is tensing. There are only a few moments between his impaling me and when we climax, but these moments last a lifetime.
I’m alive. I’m free.
I’m his.
“Oh my God,” I whimper, my nails digging into his shoulder blades. “Let me come.”
“Come for me, Katie.”
Permission granted, I embrace the swelling feelings inside of me. I think about how full I am. How warm. How protected. My toes start to curl. I want to close my eyes, but Ian is above me, staring back into me as I gaze into his resolute visage.
He’s losing it. Ian groans into my mouth, and every muscle in my body can feel his cock reach the edge inside of me.
The cry I unleash as I come fills this room with everything I’m keeping pent up inside.
Fuck, fuck fuck. Shit, shit shit! There’s nothing in this world except the two of us. Us and the waves of pleasure undulating through me, claiming my psyche and body both. I’m grabbing his head, pulling his hair, scratching his skin and feeling like the ceiling is crashing on me while the floor swallows me up. His thrusts remain steady, hard, reaching up into me as I still reel from the idea of a man going at me unprotected. Everything is flushed with heat, shuddering.
“Ian!” I sound like I’m famished. So pathetic. “Don’t stop! Don’t…”
Nope. I’m gone.
And so is he.
His thrusts suddenly increase, and a gravely groan reverberates in his throat.
I don’t know what hits me first. The unexpected liquid heat claiming my insides, or the possessive sound that takes over Ian’s body.
It’s my first time experiencing this. Is it normal for it to feel like it’s going on forever? That every crevice of my body is being touched by this man? If his cock can’t reach it, then surely he can coat it in the hot seed taking me. I don’t know what’s normal. I don’t know what it means for this to happen. All I know is that it feels incredible.
Awareness strikes me. I’m so aware of how stretched open I am. He always does this to me, and I gladly welcome him. But it feels so fucking unreal. How can I open that much for him? How can he make me so aroused to do that? His thrusts slow as his cock empties the last of his seed into me. Time is stopping. Tired kisses cover my skin, but I only have eyes for the glistening skin slowly moving in and out of me.
I don’t want him to leave.
Fatigue is washing over me. My thighs are so sore. My ass is nearly unbearable. My body wasn’t built for this, and yet it found a way.
“Katie.” The man is sated. I can hear it in his voice as he plants heavy kisses on my chest. He begins to pull out.
I begin to panic.
I know what’s going to happen. I know what I’m going to see, and it’s scaring me.
It’s one thing to feel it happen, you know? That whole coming inside me business. And then I can’t pry my eyes away from him abandoning me, my body spread so wide that I’m…
“See? You’re mine.”
Oh no.
Thick, white cum spills out of me, covering my poor, beaten ass. Ian chuckles, falling onto his side as he admires his handiwork. He won. He marked me. He took a Domme and did the two things she always said she didn’t want. Came on her face, then came in her cunt.
There’s so much. My breath quickens as I watch, mortified, my body rejecting it with tiny spasms. It covers everything from my skin to the bed. Ian doesn’t care.
I care.
A lot.
“Oh my God…” I want to close my legs, but what if it keeps it inside? I’m not worried about getting pregnant. I’m worried about what this means!
Where is that part of me that was so happy to have this happen? Where is submissive Kathryn? Where did she go? Why is she abandoning me to this fate?
“Not so bad, huh?” Ian caresses the inside of my thigh, fingers tugging at the open edges of my folds. I can’t stop staring. Where is it all coming from? How much is still in there?
I’m turned on. I’m satiated. I’m so fucking fucked up by it that there’s only one way to process it.
I freak the hell out.
Chapter 27
IAN
There’s a woman screaming in my home again. This is getting to be a bit much.
“Get it out of me!” Kathryn leaps off my bed. A wild look in her eye tells me she’s not in her right mind. Or the wrong one. Or is it left? “What the fuck have I done?”
Forgive me if I’m slow to react. I just had long, arduous sex that included two orgasms on my part and accommodating a Domme’s ego. I apparently fucked up that last part.
“Katie,” I say, pushing myself up and gesturing to the empty part of my bed she abandoned. “Come back.”
Ha ha. Like that’s going to work.
“Who do you think you are?” Her finger wags in my direction, and there she is, Kathryn Alison marching back and forth beside my bed in disheveled underwear, my fuckin’ cum running down her leg. This should be hot. Should be. “Oh my God, get it out of me!”
She’s pulling her hair out. She’s clawing my bed like a mad woman. She’s running out of energy because, like me, she’s recovering from a hard orgasm and needs to be snuggling in bed.
Once again, should be.
“Darling.” The pet name feels meaningless right now, but I don’t know what else to do. I get up, naked, rounding my bed and approaching her slowly. “Come get in bed. You need aftercare.”
Her ass is so pink it’s almost red. Pink. She said her safe word when I got ready to enter her without protection. It was a hard limit, I guess. Yet she changed her mind and said she wanted me to go ahead and do it.
Everything was great for a few minutes.
Fantastic.
So fucking hot.
And now here we are, Kathryn storming around my bedroom.
“Don’t touch me!”
I’ve barely put my hand on her arm. Kathryn thrusts me off her, that radical glow around her hardly erotic. “Katie, please. You know you need aftercare.” I’ve been at this for a long time. Usually aftercare means rubbing some lotion into skin, sweet words, a snack, and lots and lots of cuddles, depending on how far deep I took a sub. With Kathryn, I figured it would be going to sleep wrapped in each other’s arms after I finished massaging her skin and whispering how great that was into her ear. “You’ve gotta let me help you.”
“You can help me by getting this shit out of me!”
She wipes some of my seed off her thigh, sneers at it, and flicks it off her fingers. Ouch.
Look, I’ve got pride. I know it’s stupid, but it kinda hurts my feelings to see a woman I spent so much attention on just discard of “me” like that. Acting like it’s dirty. Like it’s going to kill her.
I would laugh at her reaction if I wasn’t mostly worried about her state of mind.
“Come on.” Gently, I divert her toward my en-suite bathroom. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
She’s trembling, but doesn’t fight me. In fact, she practically darts into the shower, plopping herself on the bench and almost closing the glass door in my face. I hold it open and reach in to turn on the showerhead.
“See? It’s detachable.” I hand it to her, hot water pulsing out and getting her lap wet. “Have at it.”
Kathryn snatches the shower head from me and starts rinsing herself off with such determination that I… my feelings are hurt, damn it! I can’t let that on. I have to continue to be the Dom in this situation, although it’s imperative she not think that. My lazy sex-infused brain doesn’t want to think. Nevertheless, I manage to talk her down from her furious high and help her remove her underwear before it’s soaked by the water.
“I can do that for you.”
“No,” she snaps, like a crocodile. “Please leave me alone.”
I’m taken off guard because of the plea in her voice. “You shouldn’t be alone right now. You went through something really heavy. Aftercare is…”
“I know what the fuck aftercare is!” Tears stream down her face, although for her sake I pretend that it’s water from the showerhead. “If you really wanna help, Ian, you’ll leave me alone. I need some time to think about what happened. Please.”
After brief thought, I step away from the shower, sliding the glass door closed. “I’ll check on you in fifteen minutes.”
I leave her in my shower, crying and furiously scrubbing her body. This is a shithole of a disaster. One I should have seen coming.
As a Dom, I’m losing my edge. I pride myself in reading women so well that their first time subbing, let alone with me, is always a pleasant experience. Until now.
Or at least I thought she was having a fine time.
There’s no use obsessing over it. When I walk back into my room, the first thing I do is find some clothes to wear. Cotton boxers and shirt. My usual sleep fare when I’m not naked. After sex? I usually wanna be naked. I don’t think that’s a good idea tonight.
Fuck, what a mess.
I open the library door and pour myself a glass of something hard. It’s down my throat in two seconds. Saoirse ambles out of her bed, rubs against my leg, and wanders out into the main room with a chirp in her throat.
Kathryn.
I decide to give her the space she so desperately needs. My bed is torn up, but I crawl in anyway, pulling the covers around my waist as I reach for my glasses and read my tablet.
My thoughts are too consumed with what happened to care about reading.
Katie… I…
Never before has that happened. Then again, never before have I taken on a Domme.
If the roles were reversed, I doubt I would have handled something like that well either. I shudder thinking about it. No way. If another Dom tried to take me like that…
How did she make it as far as she did? Let alone all the way?
I was on high alert the whole time. In tune with her body and what it was telling me. Her body wanted it all. It wanted me to finger her, to lick her open, to fuck her to my hilt and fill her with my seed. Every inch of her body had begged for it. Her voice demanded it. Her scent craved it. Yes, her body had wanted it so badly.
It was her everything else that rejected it.
I’m so fucking stupid.
When she orgasmed, I thought she had finally achieved total surrender. It was liberating for me as well, Katie. I felt relieved when you tightened on my cock and moaned so loudly that my chest ached. Your flesh kneaded beneath my fingertips. Your heat beckoned me deeper. Your words, so filthy and desperate, told me how good I felt and how much you wanted me.
I saw the surrender in your eyes. You were home.
We were home.
“Hey.”
I lower my tablet and see Katie standing in the bathroom doorway, hair wet and body framed in a T-shirt I left in there. It’s baggy on her. Sexy. “Feel better?” I ask tentatively.
Kathryn takes a step toward me. She’s no longer yelling, so that’s an improvement. If anything, she looks like she always does outside of the bedroom. Relief doesn’t begin to describe what I’m feeling.
“Yeah. I’m sorry, Ian. I lost my shit.”
“You could say that again.” I put my tablet and glasses back on my nightstand. “I’m worried about you. Come here.”
I pat the space beside me. She’s wearing my shirt, so she must plan on staying. Sure enough, her bare feet cross my room and bring her to my bedside.
She’s so gorgeous. The light illuminates her golden hair, her skin glowing from the aftereffects of sex. My endorphins call to hers, if she has any left. This is a time for soft kisses, laughter, and dozy eyes. Watching a sub go from high-alert to totally relaxed in my arms is one of the best feelings in the world.
I had been looking forward to that with her.
Kathryn sits on the edge of my bed and swings her legs over. I put a hand on them, testing her boundaries. She does not shake me off.
“Tell me what you’re thinking.”
Her shrug worries me. I can’t have her brushing this off. “Many things. Nothing. My brain is full of crap, but I want to sleep.”
“You are welcome to spend the night.”
“Thanks.”
It takes a while, but she eventually pushes herself beneath the covers and curls up against me. I wrap an arm around her, careful to not touch an erogenous zone. “I’m sorry it happened that way.”
She sniffs, and I wonder if I’ve made her cry again. “I’m not mad at you. Really. You did what I would have. I simply wasn’t ready.”
She could say that again.
“I guess I’m worried that… you’re going to think of me differently now.”
My hand tilts her chin up until she’s looking in my eyes. “The only thing I think is that you are totally normal.”
Kathryn shivers. Says nothing.
As the minutes wear by, I slip farther beneath the covers and hold her more tightly to me. She’s so fragile in my arms. The tautness of her body begs me to kiss her all over, giving her the care she craves but is too ashamed to ask for.
Her wounded skin is ready for my touch. I make sure I’m the softest man in the world as I kiss her tenderly and whisper into her ear that she’s beautiful, clever, and a woman whom I respect and admire.
I feel her smile against my skin. I don’t know exactly what’s going on through her head, but I hope she can sleep peacefully tonight. Here, in my arms.
Chapter 28
KATHRYN
I wake up in an unfamiliar place. At first I think I’m still dreaming, and then it all starts coming back to me.
The sex. The freak outs. The going to sleep barely feeling any better.
Ian.
He’s not here, not even in his own bed. I’m utterly alone as I stretch an arm above my head, look around, and adjust my vision until it no longer hurts to open my eyes.
The pillow pushes against my cheek as I slowly come to. It’s comforting, even as my brain is filled with the terrible memories. Shit, I’m embarrassed. How could I have acted like that in front of Ian? To Ian?
My everything is sore. The flesh of my ass is so bruised from some simple spankings that I can’t take any position but on my stomach. The T-shirt I borrowed to sleep in nearly strangles me as I drown in it. Yet all I can think about is how warm and comfortable this bed is. The mattress is the right firmness. The sheets are Egyptian cotton. 1500 thread count. The comforter is full of down and feels so light and airy on my body. If it weren’t for my ass and the memories, I would be tempted to spend the whole day in this bed – alone.
I doubt Ian would have left me here, or at least not for long. I don’t see a note anywhere. This room is so soundproofed that I can’t tell if he’s in the bathroom. A part of me doesn’t care.
The other part wants him here right now.
I draw the comforter over my head and pretend that last night didn’t happen. Although I may have showered, I still feel… dirty. Inside, I feel dirty. I know I’m not. I know it’s irrational. Millions – maybe billions – of women do that all the time and feel dandy.
Those women aren’t me.
The comforter tugs down my face. I open my eyes to see Ian, still dressed in his night clothes, looming over me with two cups of coffee in his hands.
“Morning, darling.’
It’s an empty pet name. Even so, I fling back the covers, sigh, and face the fact that today has to happen.
One of the coffee cups is placed on the nightstand next to me. Ian sits on the other side of the wide bed, gingerly pulling himself toward me so he doesn’t spill his coffee, which he sips pensively. What is he thinking? Shit, do I wanna know? Probably not. It’s probably about me.
“You feeling better this morning?”
I avoid answering by drinking my coffee. It’s bitter, as coffee tends to be, but somehow Ian remembered that I like sugar and a hint of cream. He must have heard me tell Anita over and over during those two weeks we worked together.
“I feel better with this coffee, thanks.”
Ian’s lips curl together, and he leans back against the headboard. The one he had me handcuffed to last night. “You had a rough night.”
“Thanks for the reminder.”
“I’m serious. You wanna talk about it?”
What in the world is this? Of course Ian would be the guy who wants to “talk” in the morning. But he’s a Dom, as I have to constantly remind myself. Apparently a very good one, because Doms know how important it is to keep communication open.
I don’t know why he cares about it, though. Not like we’re doing that again.
“Do I have a choice?” I ask, putting the coffee down and snuggling into his bed.
Likewise, he puts his coffee down on the other side and curls up next to me. Did he brush his teeth already? I don’t smell any morning breath. Mine must be a disaster after sucking dick.
“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want, but it would be a good idea.”
“I know, I know…”
“Babe… can I call you that?”
My eyes narrow. “I guess. Only here.”
“I get it. You’re not used to subbing, and not in the wide-eye virgin way. I did my best to make you comfortable, but I clearly failed in the end. That’s on me. I’m sorry.”
One part of me yearns to reach out and take him into my arms. Or at least to feel my cheek against his warm chest. Last night, he held me for as long as I could remember, his body wrapped with mine and his hot breath blanketing the back of my neck until I finally fell asleep, tear tracks still on my face.
I feel my eyes. They’re so full of gunk that it’s amazing I can even see.
“You didn’t fail. Like I told you last night, I wasn’t ready for that, even though I thought I was. I should be apologizing for how I reacted. I’m sure that wasn’t pleasant.”
“No, but it was genuine. I should have read you better. But I admit, I’m not used to being with a woman coming from your point of view.”
“Oh, I’m sure. All your subs are either into it already or coming from the most vanilla background possible.” I realize how that sounds. “Sorry. No offense.”
“Why would I be offended? Katie, I want you to be open and honest with me. Even if we never do this again, I don’t want you thinking back on this time like that. Or you know, if we see each other again outside of here. Like for work.”
I want to tell him that he has nothing to worry about. I can handle myself. I’m not going to be triggered seeing him later on.
I want to say that, but I can’t.
“You want me to be honest? Fine. I freaked out because what my body wants and what my mind wants are two different things. I don’t pretend to understand it, but there you go. That’s why you couldn’t read me fast enough. My body was telling you to go for it while my mind panicked at the last minute. I can’t control it, like you can’t control your damned cock when it decides to go crazy.”
“At least you understand.”
“I’m serious, Ian. That’s what happened.”
He puts his hand on my arm, squeezing me enough to make me tense. “I believe you. Now do you want to hear my honesty?”
Not really, but I don’t stop him.
“I think you’re a proud but scared woman. I don’t say that to insult you. Far from it. I won’t pretend I know exactly what you’re going through at any given moment. I don’t have the disadvantages that you do. But…” He pushes some of my tangled hair out of my eyes. His fingertips feel so… liberating. I hate it. “I think you can overcome the uncertainty in your mind. You don’t have to compromise who you really are with me. Katie, the whole point of being with a Dom like me is revealing who you really are. It doesn’t have to be the most submissive kitten in the world. It can be a Domme who takes a day or two out of her month to completely let go of control and indulge in what her body and soul yearns for.”
“You’ll see me differently.” The same thing I said to him last night after I came down from my panic attack.
“In a way. I see you differently now than I did a day before. I see how scared you are. That doesn’t lower yourself in my eyes. That means you’re human.”
“Was I somehow not human before?” I can’t tell if he’s being patronizing or not. For his sake, he better not be.
Ian slowly moves his hand from my shoulder to my neck, to my face. The man doesn’t have the biggest hands in the world, but they’re more than enough to cover my skin and make me feel the strength within him. I want to shudder, but refrain.
I think he’s going to speak, but instead he comes down on me. Kisses me.
There’s no pressure behind it. Just a kiss. A sweet, melting kiss that parts my lips and caresses my tongue. My hand is in his hair. His hands are on my sides, arms curling around me as he brings me in closer. Ian’s embrace is so warm.
I don’t know what I’m feeling. A mixture of relief and anxiety. I’m relieved that I can still feel safe with him, but I’m anxious because my body is starting to ache – and not from my sore ass and thighs.
We make love, but it’s not what you think. It’s not sex. He never touches me below the waist, He barely touches my breasts, letting my nipples peak before brushing his lips against them through his T-shirt I’ve borrowed. There are thrusts coming at me, but he’s barely hard, and I never think he’s going to penetrate me. I don’t want that right now anyway.
Is he reading me?
I read men as a Domme. They are easy to read, very open with what they want. When a man is put into a submissive position, he tends to be the most open book he’s ever been. You’d think it was the same for women, but if you’re a woman like me then you know that sharing your fee-fees is akin to career and social suicide.
Sometimes I feel like such a man.
No, what Ian and I are doing isn’t sex. It’s… lovemaking.
“You feel pretty human to me,” he whispers into my ear, his chest pressing against mine and the strength in his hips keeping me trapped against his bed. “A human who deserves to feel good and feel worshiped.”
He keeps his eyes on me as he descends my stomach, hands pushing up the shirt until I’m completely bare to him. When his tongue hits my slit, I’m ready.
It’s slow, it’s gentle. He never asks for anything in return, and when I come from his tongue five minutes later, I know I’m in deep, deep trouble.
Deep fucking trouble.
