Текст книги "Until We Fly"

Автор книги: Courtney Cole

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He grabs the bucket and dumps it out into the lake… and I see two other fish fall back into the water and I’m shocked. Why would he sit out there in the sun if he was only going to throw the fish back?

I ask him as much when he finally emerges in the house a few minutes later.

He glances up at me, his hair damp from the heat.

“Because I can clean them, but I doubt you know how to cook them. So why should I kill them for no reason?”

He limps past me, headed for the shower, and his simple answer warms my belly.

He didn’t want to kill helpless creatures for no reason.

This big, strong solider who had to kill people in combat has a kind enough heart that he doesn’t want to kill fish if he doesn’t plan on eating them.

If possible, I’m even more infatuated with this man.

Chapter Eight

Nora

I manage to make scrambled eggs for the third night without burning them. I feel like I’ve conquered the world once again as I slide the steaming mass onto a plate and push it toward Brand across the kitchen table.

He purposely keeps his eyes firmly planted everywhere but the front of my shirt.

I feel like a wanton hussy as I remember how until today, every time I leaned forward, I made sure to push my boobs out, making my nipples strain even further against my shirt. .

Ugh.

He must think I’m such a slut, which is exactly the opposite of what I am, or what I want him to think.

God, I’m so ridiculous.

“Eat up,” I tell him. “I think it’s even edible.”

Brand grins and digs in, his large fingers wrapped around his fork as he shovels the eggs into his mouth. He nods.

“Not bad, Greene. I think you’ve mastered eggs.”

I’m in the middle of thinking of a smart comeback when my phone rings. Ice immediately runs down my spine, because every time my phone rings now, I assume it’s William.

But this time, my father’s name is on the screen.

The ice remains firmly planted in my back, stacked neatly between my vertebrae.

“I’m sorry,” I murmur to Brand as I grab the phone. “I’ve got to take this.”

He nods, his eyes trained curiously on my face.

I take the phone outside, where I pace in the yard.

“Hi dad,’ I answer.

My father doesn’t bother with niceties or even a hello.

“William tells me you’re not returning his calls,” he says brusquely. My spine straightens even more.

“I don’t have anything to say to him,” I say through my teeth.

My father sighs, a razor sharp sound.

“Nora, I don’t have to remind you. He owns fifty percent of Greene Corp. He and I have to unanimously approve any new ventures. I need him to see things my way. Our way. That means we have to keep him happy. He’s a difficult person, but he likes you. Use that.”

I suck in my breath. “He likes me? He more than likes me. You know what he did. I won’t let him do that again, dad. I won’t. Nothing is worth that.”

“This is worth that, Nora,” my dad answers coldly. “This is your job, just like it is mine and your brother’s.”

It might be my job, but my job description is decidedly different than my father’s or Nate’s.

“How can you ask this of me?” I whisper. “I don’t understand. I’m your daughter.”

Silence.

Then my father strikes, using his words as his weapons.

“Nora, stop being weak. You’re a Greene. Act like it. Do what it takes. Do you think I’ve always enjoyed the things I’ve had to do? I don’t give a fuck if you enjoy it. I don’t give a fuck if you hate it. But you will do what it takes to make him happy and keep him on our side. You know damn well that the deal with the city of Chicago is riding on his approval. You will not fuck it up. Got it?”

I’m numb as I listen to my father’s words, the words that condemn me into basically selling my soul, my decency and my body for the sake of the company. He’s commanding me to do it. His own daughter. Most fathers do everything they can to protect their daughters. Not mine.

Because I’m silent, my father prods me.

“Do we have an understanding?”

I’m still silent because honestly, I can’t force myself to speak. My mind is a flurry of words and sensations and horror and I just can’t manage to move my lips.

You’re a Greene, Nora. Act like it.

I shudder as I think about the last time my father had said those words to me. It was after the ‘incident’. The mere memory of the ‘incident’ makes me need to shower and without another word, I hang up on my father.

I rush back in the house and breeze past Brand, who is cleaning off the table.

“I saved your plate,” he starts to tell me, but I hold up my hand.

“I need a shower,” I call over my shoulder. He’s frozen in place staring at me, a look of utter shock on his handsome face.

I’m aware that I look like a crazy person. But I’ve got to get the handprints off of me. They might be only memories, but I can still feel each one.

I let the hot water scald my back, running over my face and my hips. I let it wash away my doubts and my fear and my memories.

It’s when I’m in the shower, and only when I’m in the shower, that I feel truly clean. I scrub myself until my skin feels red and raw, until the handprints have been scalded off.

As the water pours over me, I do what I always have to do when this happens. I focus on any possible thing to turn my mind away from the nightmare of that night, to forget the invisible hands on my body.

Today, it helps to focus on Brand.

Brand’s smile, Brand’s strength. The ornery way his eyes twinkle. His goodness.

His goodness.

I sigh again as I towel off. Brand is far too good for me.

Which is funny, because even as I feel tainted and unworthy because of….everything, I’m still acting like a hussy to get Brand to notice me. To get him to take me up on my no-strings offer for the summer.

Why am I doing this?

Brand’s right. It’s so not me.

But I’m desperate, just for a few weeks, to see if I can lose myself in Brand. To see if his goodness can eclipse the part of me that is so irrevocably damaged, just for a little while. He’s the only one good enough to do it.

I’m selfish, I know. I’m selfish for being willing to let him put himself in someone’s body who is so… used.

I shudder, and I can’t hold the nausea back any more.

I lunge for the toilet and hang my head in it, emptying my stomach. I retch and retch and then there are cool hands on my back, and fingers lifting my hair away from my face and holding it back.

“It’s okay,” Brand tells me quietly, stroking my back with his rough hands. “It’s okay.”

He has no idea that I need comforting. I don’t know why I’m not humiliated that he’s here as I’m vomiting, but it seems perfectly right.

He’s all I want.

When he’s here, everything is okay.

I wipe my mouth and fall back against him, perfectly aware that I’m naked, but not willing to try and use it to my advantage.

Brand pulls me to my feet, and holds me up.

“Was it something you ate?” he asks gently.

Yeah. A wrinkled penis that was shoved in my mouth months ago.

I shake my head. “I don’t know. I’m just going to brush my teeth and go to bed early.”

“Okay. Call if you need me,” Brand tells me again, concern in his husky voice. I can’t bring myself to even look at him, because I’m afraid that if I do, he’ll see what I am. He’ll know what I did. He’ll know that I wasn’t strong enough to stop it.

“Okay.”

I listen to the creak of Brand’s crutches as he walks out, then I brush my teeth and wash my face.

My fingers still shake. The sick feeling lingers.

I’m alone. I’m so fucking alone.

I know that Brand is in the other room, and I know that even if miracle of miracles, I manage to make him want me this summer, he’d never want me if he knew what I’ve done. He’d never want me, and I could never take seeing the repulsion on his face if he ever found out.

He can never find out.

I wouldn’t be able to take the rejection.

I reach for the bottle of sleeping pills sitting on my nightstand. I haven’t been able to sleep without them for months, ever since it happened. While I hesitate to put anything chemical in my body now, anything mind-altering, I know that if I don’t take these blessed little pills, I’ll never sleep again.

I’ll never sleep again because I’m afraid of the shadows, and of what they might bring. I have good reason.

I gulp it down, and lean back, waiting for sweet oblivion. It comes rather quickly and I fall asleep breathing in the sweet lavender smell of my pillow.

Unfortunately, as sometimes happens, the pills also bring vivid dreams, or in this case, nightmares.

Memories.

The problem is, even though I know they’re nightmares, it’s hard to wake up. It’s like I’m tied to the bed, like I once was, unable to move.

My body writhes as I try to get away.

Hands.

Hot breath.

Straps.

Slaps.

Pinches.

Sucks.

Bites.

Pain.

Skin rubbing mine.

I’m too weak to move.

I can’t move.

I can’t breathe.

I can’t breathe.

I can’t breathe.

I wake up screaming.

And as I sit up and open my eyes, I see the only thing that makes me feel safe.

Brand.

Chapter Nine

Brand

Nora’s shrill screams had woken me from a dead slumber. I’d leaped from bed and twisted my knee in the process, but it sounded like the hounds of hell were literally at her tail from the way she was screaming.

But now, I see she was only dreaming.

Her face is devoid of all color, so pale it almost looks silver as she sits in the light of the moon. Her hands are twisted in the sheets so tightly that her knuckles are white.

She looks up and sees me, and relief floods her face.

“Brand,” she breathes.

She’s limp and still and I fight the urge to cross the room and pull her to me. She seems so helpless and alone.

“Is everything all right?” I say instead, remaining in the doorway.

She nods. “I’m sorry if I woke you. I just…had a bad dream.”

I know all about bad dreams.

I clear my throat, very aware that Nora is naked in her sheets. She doesn’t seem to even notice, so I know that her fear right now is very real.

“Okay. I just wanted to make sure.”

I turn to leave, but her voice stops me.

“Wait.”

I turn back and her face is pensive.

“Can you stay?”

She’s naked.

“Uh. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Because she’s naked and this is not a smart thing.

She hardly lets me finish before she interrupts.

“Please. I don’t want to be alone.”

The panic I see in her blue eyes does me in and I sigh.

“Okay.”

There’s no other place in this small bedroom to sit other than the bed. So Nora slides over a bit, and I drop onto the other side of the bed. I stay on top of the covers.

“Thank you.”

Nora’s voice is small as she huddles back down into the bed. I glance down and find that only her nose is sticking out, and a few tendrils of dark red hair. Her fingers are still tightly wound around the sheets.

I smile in the dark, then reach over and pry her fingers loose, straightening them out, forcing her to relax her grip.

Her eyes open.

“What are you afraid of?” I ask her quietly, staring into them.

She blinks.

“Everything,” she sighs, surprising me.

The dark almost seems suffocating, and against my better judgment, I close my hand over hers, holding her fingers.

“Don’t be,” I tell her. “I’m here now.”

She sucks in her breath, I hear it. And I regret my words. I don’t want her to grow dependent on me. We’re only here a short time. I can’t get sucked in. I won’t let it be another situation like the one with Jacey.

Nora reaches for me, and I tense. It’s visible.

She stares at me through the dark, her eyes narrowing.

“What are you afraid of?”

“Nothing,” I answer out of habit. She narrows her eyes more.

“Let me ask that again. What are you afraid of?”

“This,” I finally answer.

Nora sucks her breath in again. “Why?”

I shake my head. “Because nothing good can come of it. We’re only here for a few weeks.”

Nora’s lips curve into a slow smile. “Brand, trust me. A whole lot of good can come from it.”

She reaches for me, her slender arms curving around my neck, pulling my face down to hers.

And while I know I should push her away, I should get up and leave, I don’t.

Her lips taste sweet as they press to mine. I slide my hands up her warm back and pull her to me, crushing her against my bare chest. Our combined warmth ignites and her tongue slides into my mouth.

“I need you, Brand,” she breathes. “I need you.”

She slides her hand down my chest until she finds my hardness and I hear the rush of air as her breath rushes over her lips.

Her cool fingers grasp me, and I know that it’s over. Logical thought escapes me and all I can focus on is the friction of her hand stroking my cock.

Smart or not, I’m burying myself in her tight little body tonight.

The chips can fall where they may.

* * *

Nora

Sweet Mary.

He’s enormous.

And hard.

And it’s all for me.

These are my thoughts as I slide my fingers up and down his shaft. With each touch, he gets harder, if that’s even possible. He’s as hard as steel.

I can’t believe he’s giving in.

His warmth is delicious. His hard chest pressed against mine…gah.

And then his fingers find me. He slides them into my wetness and he groans into my ear.

“Jesus, you’re so wet already.”

“I want you,” I tell him simply. “I’ve always wanted you.”

He groans again, his fingers sliding in and out, faster, then slow, then fast.

My fantasy is coming true tonight.

He lowers his head and pulls a sensitive nipple into his mouth, licking at first, then sucking. I throw my head back, my fingers wrapped in his hair. He sucks harder, then he pulls away.

“Don’t stop,” I tell him. “Please.”

He sucks the other nipple. “I want them to match.”

I smile, but out of the blue, as Brand hovers above me, the old panicky feeling comes back and I see William’s face instead of Brand.

I’m frozen for a minute, the breath caught in my throat, as I fight to get past it.

This is Brand.

This is Brand.

He’ll never hurt you.

Brand notices my tight arms and pulls away, even though his breathing is ragged.

“Are you ok?”

I nod, gulping air.

I want this.

Yes.

He’ll make me good for just a while. I need this.

“I need you,” I tell him again, forcing myself to relax.

He pulls me close, so close I can hear his heart against my ear. With one strong hand splayed against my back, he reaches the other around and strokes me with it.

Gah.

He knows just what to do… just where to touch me to get my body to sing. To make me forget the shame of William…just for a little while.

I arch against him.

“I want you inside of me,” I pant. “Now.”

I’ve waited years for this.

“Patience,” Brand murmurs into my ear, his breath hot. He lowers his head, sucking my breasts again, gently, then harder. He moves his hand in circles, fast, then faster. He works me up, over the cresting waves, building, building, building.

I can’t breathe now and I rock my hips against him.

He’s gentle, yet firm, strong, yet careful. He’s a beautiful contradiction… and exactly what I need

I need him.

I need him.

I can’t breathe.

Then the world explodes in a bright shattering of whites and blues and reds.

I ride the orgasm, rocking against the palm of Brand’s hand until the last waves of it have passed. Then I fall limply against him, his strength absorbing my weakness.

He lifts my chin with his finger, then buries his tongue in my mouth. Deep, deeper.

Then all of a sudden, in one fluid motion, he buries his cock in me, sliding it deep within me.

I groan and tilt my hips.

I want all of him.

All.

Of.

Him.

Make me good, Brand.

I want to absorb him, to take his goodness and cover myself with it. Nothing can hurt me when he’s with me. When he’s inside of me, he takes away the shame.

“God, you feel good,” Brand groans as he moves inside of me. I cling to him, like a drowning person to a raft.

Each time he slides into me, a wave of pleasure erupts… building, building, building. Again.

I come again without warning, in a haze of moans and whimpers. I throw my head back and let my body convulse with it, as Brand pauses and pulls my ribcage up to him, his lips finding my breasts once again.

Again.

Again.

He worships them again, one by one, his tongue laving my nipples, sucking on the sensitive flesh.

I want to die right here in his arms.

It would be a good way to die.

When I open my eyes, he’s waiting to stare into them, poised above me like the avenging angel that he is.

His muscle flexes.

“I’m going to come in you,” he tells me simply.

I nod. “I’m on the pill. It’s okay. I’ve been tested… it’s okay.”

Brand nods and buries himself in me once again and I want to scream with it, with the way he fills me up. His hardness, my softness. It’s perfect.

He’s perfect.

“I want to feel you come,” I tell him urgently, pulling him back into me. Give me everything you have. I need to feel it.

Brand rocks with me, holding me in his strong arms until he throws back his head and groans with his release. I feel his cock quiver inside of me, contracting as he comes. He comes and comes and comes.

He relaxes against me, but doesn’t let me go.

“What did we just do?” he finally whispers against my forehead, after minutes or hours have passed. Everything is a blur around me, but I don’t care.

He sounds slightly dismayed, but I don’t care about that, either.

Because I’m ecstatic.

“You just made my dreams come true,” I answer. “The good ones,” I clarify.

Brand shakes his head and rolls to the side, keeping me in his arms. “Was it everything you thought it would be?” he asks drily, with amusement.

I nod. “And more.”

Now that I’ve been with him, it’s not going to be enough. I know that. I’m always going to want him. Everyone else will just pale in comparison.

But as I burrow against his chest, a hard truth impales my heart.

I can’t be with him long. I can’t eclipse his good heart with my black one. I won’t do it.

This summer is all I have.

No matter what.

Even though it will kill me to leave him.

Even though he’s all I want.

I would never shackle him to someone like me.

Never.

I fall asleep listening to the steady cadence of his heart.

When I wake, the sunshine is streaming through my windows, and Brand is gone.

Chapter Ten

Brand

I stir the scrambled eggs in the pan, carefully balancing on my good foot as I twist around to pour a glass of orange juice, because I’d woken up guilty and unable to sleep.

So here I am making breakfast.

What did you do?

You’re such a fucking idiot.

I ignore my inner voice, but it’s a persistent asshole.

Nora isn’t the kind of girl that you fuck around with and leave. And she’s not the kind of girl who will want you. Not for real.

I’d like to punch my inner voice in the teeth.

I’m in a predicament now, because I listened to my cock last night instead of my head. With a sigh, I hobble with my crutch under one arm and Nora’s breakfast in my other hand.

I poke my head around the corner to find that she’s awake.

“Good morning,” I tell her quietly. I hobble in and set the plate on her bed. “I thought you might be hungry.”

She stretches like a sated cat.

“I am,” she announces with a grin. “I depleted my energy stores last night.” She flushes prettily, and picks up her plate.

“About last night…” I begin and sit on the edge of the bed. Nora looks up warily.

“You can’t go back,” she interrupts firmly. “The bullet has already left the gun. There’s only one thing you can do now… take me up on my proposition.”

I exhale.

“Nora, I meant what I said earlier. You’re better than that. You’re worth more than some ‘proposition.’”

I don’t know why I feel like I need to tell her that. She’s Nora Greene for God’s sake. She knows what she’s worth.

She stares at me like I have two heads.

“As I told you earlier, you don’t know what I’m worth. I do. I want you, Brand. I know we only have a few weeks but I want every day of those few weeks. You’re here, I’m here. It’s perfect.”

I raise an eyebrow. “So you want me because it’s convenient?”

She giggles and takes a drink of juice. “No, I want you because I want you. It’s just nice that it’s convenient.”

“You’re… something,” I tell her, shaking my head. I don’t know what to make of her.

She glances up, her eyes filled with laughter. “Good. That’s better than nothing.”

She takes a bite of eggs, then glances up at me.

“What should we do today?”

I shrug. “There’s not much to do. We’re stuck in a cottage in Angel Bay. Without cable.”

Nora rolls her eyes. “Uh. There’s plenty to do.” She reaches up and slides her hand under my shirt, her fingertips grazing my nipple.

At just this minute, there’s a heavy knock on the back door.

We look at each other.

“Saved by the bell,” Nora grins. She gets out of bed and pulls on a robe. “Hold that thought. I’ll get it.”

I hear her pad down the hallway and I hobble behind her, feeling like a clumsy asshole with my fucking crutches.

When I reach the living room, Nora is already showing a man clad in a suit into the cottage.

“Brand, it’s for you,” she tells me hesitantly. “It’s your dad’s estate lawyer.”

I study the guy… he’s pasty, weaselish, and dressed in a tightly buttoned suit. He holds his hand out.

“I’m Todd Ansel,” he tells me. “I represented your father and put his will together. Do you have a few minutes?”

“A few,” I nod, making it clear that I only have a few. Nora has backed up now, and is lingering on the edge of the room.

“Do you need me to stay?” she asks me quietly. I shake my head.

“Nah. I’ve got this, but thank you.”

She slips out and I stare at Todd. I don’t offer him a seat.

“How can I help you?”

He clears his throat and sets his briefcase on the floor beside him. “I spoke with your mother and she indicated that you wanted to relinquish your rights to your inheritance and transfer it to her, instead.”

I nod. “Yes.”

Todd nods as well. “Yes, your father anticipated that you would do that. So he put a stipulation in his will.”

I stare at him hesitantly. “A stipulation? My mother didn’t mention that.”

Todd nods again. “That’s because she doesn’t know.”

I sigh heavily. Leave it to my father to do something fucked up, even in the end. “Well, what is it?”

Todd bends and sifts through his bag, coming up with a paper. He hands it to me, his weasel eyes focused on my reaction.

I don’t give him one.

Instead, I scan the paper.

All I can focus on are the words, Brand must ring the bell.

Shock slams into me, fast and hard, and anger clouds my vision.

What a fucker.

Todd clears his throat again. “I’m not sure what the purpose of this exercise is, but your father’s wishes are clear. You must swim out to the large buoy in the bay and ring the bell, then swim back in. You must be un-assisted, you cannot use a boat or motorized device of any sort. You must swim on your own devices. If you don’t complete this task, your inheritance will revert to the state. And you will not be given the key to the box your father left for you.”

Through my anger, that snags my attention.

“A key?”

Todd raises an eyebrow. “You must not have tried to open the box yet. It’s locked. I have the key. I’m instructed to give it to you only upon completion of the task.”

Nora must’ve only lingered right outside the door, because she bursts back in now.

“What will happen if he doesn’t do it?” she asks, her cheeks flushed.

Todd looks at her. “If Brand chooses not to complete the task, his inheritance will revert to the state, as I said. Bethany Killien will receive nothing. And it’s my understanding that she does the books for Mr. Killien’s mechanic business. It’s likely that she will lose her job when the state sells the business.”

“So my mother would have nothing,” I clarify. “Not a house, not any money and she would lose her job.”

Finally, Todd has the good graces to look uncomfortable. “Yes. I don’t know what your father’s motives were, but yes. Your mother would have nothing.”

“Perhaps his mother deserves nothing,” Nora snaps.

If I weren’t already so annoyed with the situation, I would find her reaction amusing. She’s so defensive on my behalf.

The lawyer shrugs. “I guess that’s for Brand to decide.” He looks at me. “You have thirty days from today to complete the task. I need to be present as a witness. Again, if you choose not to do it, the entire inheritance will default to the state.”

“We understand that part,” Nora says icily. “I’ll show you out.”

Todd picks up his briefcase and hands me his card.

“Call me when you’re ready to take a cold dip in the lake.”

He walks out. Nora closes the door behind him, then walks back to me.

“Why would your father do that?” she asks softly, her hand curled around my arm.

I shrug. “Who knows?”

But I know.

And Nora is fully aware of that. She stares at me knowingly.

“All right. I won’t pry. For now. But what will you do?”

I shrug again, because this time I really don’t know.

I don’t know what I’ll do. My mother probably doesn’t deserve anything. But it’s not in my character to let an old lady get kicked to the street. Even a cold-hearted old lady like my mother.

“I have to think about it,” I finally answer. “It’s not about swimming out to the buoy. It’s about… what message I want to send to my mother.”

Nora stares at me, her blue eyes understanding. “I don’t blame you,” she answers softly. “I wouldn’t lift a finger for my father.”

She turns around and walks away before I can ask her why.

Within a minute, she returns with her purse. “I’m going to run a quick errand, and then let’s get out of here for the day,” she suggests. “I’ve got cabin fever already.”

“You don’t have to stay here with me,” I remind her. “There’s no reason for both of us to be bored.”

She rolls her eyes.

“After the line we crossed last night, there’s no place I’d rather be.”

She winks and I shake my head.

“Last night doesn’t change anything.”

She leans up and nips at my ear lobe.

“Last night changes everything.”

With that, she walks out to her car and I can’t help but watch her tight ass sway as she walks away.

With a sigh, I know that she’s right.

It changed everything.

And honestly, I’m tired of fighting it.