Текст книги "Bastard: A stepbrother Romance"

Автор книги: Coco Cadence

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Chapter 34

Emily

I’m sipping coffee like it’s my only life support as I sit here in the waiting room. The clock on the wall ticks by slower than a slug. My fingers thrum on the Styrofoam cup as I stare at the door in front of me. At some point, someone is supposed to come out of there and tell me everything is okay.

He has to be okay.

“It’ll be okay,” Alyssa says, as if she can hear my thoughts. She rubs my back and smiles at me. I smile back, but all I feel is fear. Fear that I’m about to lose the only person who really matters to me.

Suddenly, I spot Tricia rushing through the hallway. She stops when she sees me.

“Emily!”

“Tricia, you’re here.”

“Oh my god, what happened?” she says as she comes toward me. “Do you know anything?”

“No, they took him to the OR,” I say, as she hugs me tight. “The bike is torn to shreds.”

“But he’s okay?”

“I don’t know.” I sigh.

“I called Frank, but he’s stuck in traffic, so he’ll get here later. Adrian and Leonard are on their way, too.” She sits down beside me. “I wish I had been there to support him when it happened.”

“I’m glad you weren’t. It was horrible to watch.” I swallow away the lump in my throat. “I’m still shaken up.”

“I can imagine.”

“I’m sure the doctors are taking good care of him,” Alyssa says with a smile to cheer us up. “He’ll be all right.”

“Yeah …” Tricia and I both nod at each other, trying to make each other believe those words.

“God … and to think I was actually mad at him,” I mumble, staring at the floor.

“Mad at him? For what?”

I shrug. “You know …”

“Know what …?” Why is she acting like she suddenly doesn’t know? We’ve always hated each other.

“Nothing …” I grumble.

“No, tell me.” Tricia frowns. “I want to know.”

“Well, now that this has happened, it doesn’t seem as important anymore. But … I always blamed him for my father’s death.”

Her lips part and she leans in as if she wasn’t sure she heard me correctly.

“What? Why?”

“You know what he did,” I say. “How he blurted out all that crap in front of the entire school.” I lick my lips to think about how I’m going to say it without stepping on anyone’s toes. “Dad took those pills right after that incident.”

“Oh …Right.” Tricia says. “No wonder. This explains everything.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, for years I thought you were mad at him for putting you on the spot like that at school, but I never knew you held a grudge against him for your father.” She grabs my arms. “Emily, I know you’re still hurt over your father’s death, but it’s not Chris’s fault.”

“What are you saying?” I shake my head.

She takes a deep breath. “Well, you know how your father was. He never was really happy. Not even with me. I thought I could maybe make him happy … after your mom passed away. I’m sorry; this must be difficult to talk about to you.”

“No, continue please,” I say. I need to hear it. I need her to say what she has to say, even if I might not like it.

“Well, I fell for your father because he was so kind, and I thought I could take away all the pain and hurt. I thought that I could be enough for him. But it turns out, I never was. He wasn’t happy, Emily. You know that.”

I nod slowly, trying to come to terms with that fact.

“I started dating your father because he needed me. He needed me more than anything … to keep him alive.”

My lips part, but I have no clue what to say. “What?”

“Your father was already on the brink. I’m sorry, Emily. I should’ve told you sooner, but I didn’t want you to feel bad about it. I didn’t want you to think it was your fault. I know how you must’ve felt.”

“Are you telling me that my father already wanted to … kill himself? Before all that happened?”

“Yes, unfortunately …” She lets out an exasperated sigh. “He threatened suicide multiple times. Specifically when I had doubts about our relationship. I always thought it was just his way of keeping me in his life. That he was terrified I might leave him.”

“He blackmailed you into staying?” I mutter.

“Well, I wouldn’t call it that, but … your father was just emotionally damaged. I understand. I don’t hold any grudges. And neither should you.” She looks me deep in the eyes. “Stop blaming yourself. You’re not at fault here.”

“But …” I lick my lips.

“No, I don’t want to hear it. I know I haven’t been the best stepmother in the world, but I really meant no harm. I’m sorry if I hurt you. I just didn’t want you to have to see the sad truth. But please … don’t blame Chris. Yes, your father didn’t want to live anymore, and maybe what Chris did was the catalyst, but I already saw it coming. He said it so many times that I lost track. And I kind of lost the will to take him seriously.”

I’m stunned. So stunned, I don’t even know what to say.

“I’m sorry. If you want to blame someone, then blame me,” she says. “I should’ve taken action. I should’ve done something to stop him.”

“But you couldn’t, and he isn’t here anymore,” I mumble.

“Exactly.”

I blink away the tears in my eye. “I don’t blame you. I wanted my father to be happy, and he found love with you. I just wish it would have been enough for him.”

She cups my face and caresses my cheek. “My dear Emily … I wish things had gone differently, but life isn’t always fair.”

“I know …” I gaze down at the floor.

“Please don’t be mad anymore,” she says, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “Be happy. Be yourself. Don’t hold grudges, but love unconditionally. Your father would want that. He doesn’t want you to stay mad forever. He wants you to fall in love and live your life. I know that, in my heart, he’s watching you right now.”

“Yes,” I mutter, looking up at her. “Thank you.”

I truly mean it. For the first time in my life, it feels like the huge weight that was my father’s death has finally been lifted off my shoulders. Like I’ve been set free.

“Your father would be so proud of you seeing you like this,” she says, barely able to hold back her tears.

I nod, swallowing away mine. “Yeah …”

“Let’s hope he’ll also look over Chris,” she says with a smile.

We’re connecting on a level I’ve not experienced before, but it feels good. “I’m sure he is.”

Suddenly, the doors to the waiting room open.

My heart momentarily stops beating.

It’s news about Chris.

Chapter 35

Emily

“How is he?” I ask the doctor.

“Is my son okay?” Tricia asks, too.

I want to be by his side instead of listening to the doctor. But my feet manage to stay grounded. I don’t know for how long, though.

“He’s fine.”

A burden visibly falls from our shoulders as we both breathe out a sigh of relief.

“His lower leg bone needed to be reset, but other than that, his body absorbed the blow of the accident quite well.”

“Oh, that’s good to hear. What about his leg? Can he walk?” Tricia asks.

“Not at the moment, but he will be able to in time, of course. He’ll wear a cast for now. He’ll need a wheelchair for some time, and then he’ll be able to walk with crutches. It’ll be a slow recovery, but I’m almost a hundred percent sure he’ll be back to normal in no time.”

“As normal as Chris can be,” I muse, smiling like a lunatic.

I don’t know why I’m making stupid jokes at a time like this. Maybe I’m just excited to see him again, and relieved that he isn’t dead. God, I’m so glad he isn’t dead.

“No, he’s not dead.” The doctor laughs.

“Did I say that out loud?” My face turns crimson red. “Oops.”

“No worries. You can go visit him in a few minutes. They’re taking him up to room two hundred and eight.”

“Great.” I grin. “Let’s go then.” I grab Tricia’s hand and pull Alyssa up from the chair. “Thank you!” I shout back at the doctor who’s waving at us as I drag both of the ladies through the hallway like an idiot.

I’ve never been more happy to know I’m about to see Chris.

And, oh boy … when his mother sees us together, we’ll have some explaining to do, because I won’t be holding back anymore.

As we make our way up to his room, my nerves feel like they’re on fire, and my body is jittery to the point of bouncing up and down in the elevator. Everyone’s looking at me as if I’m crazy, but I don’t care. I’m just happy I get to see his stupid smile again. Just thinking about it already gets me all cheerful.

My breathing falters as I stand in front of his door. Tricia stares at me as if I’ve completely lost it.

“Let’s go inside,” she says, grabbing the handle.

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t open the door, and so she did it instead.

I was still torn about what she had just said in the hallway, and only when I stood right in front of his room number did I realize that I’d have to talk to him about it. How I’ve blamed him for my father’s death, and how he, in turn, always felt guilty about it … even though it wasn’t anyone’s fault.

In silence, I walk after Tricia into the room. Chris is lying in bed with his foot hoisted up, stuck in bandages and some weird device. His eyes are half-mast, and when he looks up at us, that stupid grin I recognize and I have learned to love comes out to play again.

“Christopher!” Tricia says.

“Hey,” he mutters.

She hugs him tight. “Oh, I’m so glad you’re all right.”

“Mom,” he gasps, groaning. “You’re crushing me.”

“Oh, sorry,” she mutters, and she gets off him.

With a tentative smile, I close the gap between the door and his bed, my heart racing in my throat. I can’t believe he’s really here right in front of me, when moments ago I thought I might lose him for good. The thought alone drove me insane, and realizing that now, I think he means more to me than I first dared to admit.

“Hey …” he says as he sees me.

Flushing, I push a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Hey.”

Tricia steps back to allow me to come closer, while Alyssa stays near the door.

I walk to him and grab his hand, feeling his warmth enter my body like a fire setting the last remnants of the tangles around my heart ablaze.

“How do you feel?” I ask.

“Ahh, I’ve been through worse,” he says with a cough that makes him cringe.

Muffling a laugh, I say, “Well, you’ve looked much worse, too.”

“Thanks, I’ll take it as a compliment.”

“You’re welcome,” I jest. “You scared us all there.”

“Oh, really?” He opens one eye and closes the other. “And here I thought you could handle everything with your PR background.”

I shrug. “This is different.”

“Hmm …” He squeezes my hand, which sends tingles all through my body. The looks we exchange are intense, and in his eyes, I find the regret and sorrow we’ve both been feeling for the past few years. The bad feelings have dissipated, and with it, so has my anger. And at this moment, I can feel the bonds that squished my heart and kept me from loving him unravel and disappear.

Tears well up in my eyes and his other hand drifts up to cup my face and wipe away the tear. “It’s okay.”

“I know …” I mumble.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he says. “I made you a promise, remember? I’ll be damned if I break it.”

Those words make me fall apart right in his arms.

I curl up against his body, letting my head rest on his chest. I listen to his heartbeat and feel the rise and fall of his chest as his breaths flow in and out of his lungs, cherishing every second. “I forgive you,” I whisper to him.

I look up at him with teary eyes to see him smile at me, his hand placing mine over his heart. A little squeeze and a nod are all that’s needed. No words are necessary to explain what we both feel.

Love.

He knows what I mean. I relinquish him of his guilt. It’s over. From now on, we move forward.

I lean forward, and Chris pushes himself up to grab my face and kiss me.

And god, does it feel good to feel his lips on mine again.

I don’t give a crap if anyone’s watching. I should’ve done this sooner.

Tricia clears her throat. My lips unlock from his, and I look up at her with embarrassment. She probably didn’t expect to see this between us, and I guess we do have some explaining to do.

“Um …” I mutter.

Then the door opens, and Alyssa is bumped forward as the rest of our family steps into our room. The look on their faces as they see Chris and me in an intimate embrace with swollen, red lips is killing me.

I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or beg for mercy.

But I don’t care what happens next, either. As long as Chris is here, I can get through anything. I came so close to losing him. I didn’t know what I had until it almost slipped through my fingers. I have him in my clutches now, and I’m not going to let go.

“Leo … Adrian,” I mumble as everyone walks inside and seems to be a little surprised to see us like this.

“Chris,” Leo says. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just a broken bone. Nothing to worry about,” Chris says.

“Seems like our stepsister distracted you from your race a bit, huh,” Adrian jokes.

“She sure did,” Chris muses.

I roll my eyes at him.

“I’m glad to see you’re okay, bro,” Adrian says, hugging his brother, and then he perches himself against the wall.

Leo comes to give him a bro hug too, as well as Samantha. Leo exchanges a look with Chris before staring at me and raising his eyebrow. Sam sits down on a seat next to the table in the corner.

“What?” I say.

“Oh … nothing.”

I frown. “Oh, save it.”

He holds up his hands. “I’m not saying anything.” He sits down beside Samantha.

Suddenly, the door opens again and Chris’s father bursts in.

“Chris!” he says, and he rushes into the room to give his son a bear hug. His weight almost squishes Chris.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” he says. And then he turns to me. “You did well to look out for your stepbrother.”

“Um, he isn’t just her stepbrother,” Adrian says.

“Adrian!” I hiss.

“What do you mean?” Frank asks.

“Ahh …” I don’t exactly know how to tell him this, and if I’m even the right person to say this.

“So … I guess it’s out now,” Chris says, clearing his throat.

“What? You mean that you two like each other?” Tricia says.

My jaw drops. I think I didn’t hear that right. “What?”

She smiles mischievously and then drops a bomb that I couldn’t see coming, not even from an inch away. “You think I didn’t know?”

Chapter 36

Emily

“Oh, my god,” I say.

Adrian laughs a little. “Yep, I knew she was going to say that.”

“So, you two are having a … relationship?” Chris’s father asks.

Chris licks his lips and looks at me for confirmation before saying anything. “I didn’t want it to be uncomfortable, but … yes.”

“Well, this is rather confusing,” his father says.

“Not to us,” Leo says. “They’re just stepbrother and sister, but not by choice.”

“Exactly,” Chris hums.

“Everyone knows?” I ask.

They all pretty much shrug.

“Did you think we wouldn’t notice? All those times you looked at each other, we could see it. And the way you talked and then avoided each other like the plague. I’ve seen it happen in my house, and when you two both left to find your own place, I could still see the same spark between you,” Tricia says. “I knew something was going on, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. But now I can.” She smiles awkwardly.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I say.

“Well, you seemed to have a bit of a problem with it yourself. That’s why I took you with me to meet Victor. I thought you had troubles with getting over Chris, so I wanted to help you out a little. But I guess that didn’t go as planned.”

I bury my face in my hands. “Oh, god …”

Alyssa bursts into laughter, and everyone turns to look at her. “Oh, don’t mind me. Just ignore me. Pretend I’m not here,” she says. “On second thought, I’ll just go now that I know he’s okay.” She winks at me. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Thanks. For being here and everything,” I say to her, and I wave as she leaves.

“Okay, so you two are a thing?” Frank asks as if he still can’t believe it. “And this happened because of the accident? Or did the accident happen because of it? I don’t understand.”

“No.” Chris laughs. “I’ve pretty much wanted her all my life.”

My cheeks heat up. “We have a history, yeah …”

“I’ll tell you some other time,” Tricia tells him, grabbing his arm. “Let’s just give them some time, okay?”

“But—”

“Don’t worry, you can ask everything you want later. I’m not going anywhere,” Chris says.

His father nods, but he doesn’t seem angry, so I guess it went better than I thought.

“Wow …” Adrian mouths. “I did not expect it to go like this. Phew.”

“I didn’t know you all knew. How did you?”

“It was kind of obvious,” Leo muses. “Like … really obvious.”

Now I’m really a tomato.

“Hey, don’t feel bad. We can tell you both care a lot about each other. Even though you screamed at each other like fucking monkeys in a zoo,” Leo says with a laugh.

“Yeah, but I felt it was kind of … weird. You know, I can’t explain it, but we’re also family. And this isn’t exactly kosher.”

“But you’re not blood-related,” Adrian pitches in.

“And I loved you even before my mother got together with your dad,” Chris says, pulling me in for another kiss on the cheek. “I was first.”

I chuckle a little. “True.”

“So everyone’s okay with it?” I ask.

“Okay as we can be. I’m actually happy this fight between the two of you is finally over,” Leo says.

“Yeah, it lasted long enough. I was getting tired of it. So much so that I was about to tell our parents myself.”

“Adrian!” I make a face.

“Relax. It turned out okay, didn’t it? You’ve told them now. Or they saw it, actually.” He muffles a laugh. “You were so into each other; I wasn’t sure if we should’ve even entered the room.”

“Oh, stop,” I say.

“Yeah, let’s leave these lovebirds to themselves,” Sam muses.

“They need some time to figure it out,” Leo says.

“Fine, let’s go.” Adrian is first to walk out. Leo and Sam follow him hand-in-hand, while Sam gives me a happy smile. Then she mouths at me and Chris, “By the way, it’s a girl.” She points at her belly, and then winks before leaving the room.

I grin from the thought.

This whole conversation didn’t go as bad as I expected it to go. I’m glad it went the way it did, but I’m also glad they’re gone now.

“So, it’s just the two of us now, huh?” Chris mumbles.

“Yep,” I say.

There’s a suspicious smirk on his face, and it makes me wonder what he’s hiding. “What?”

“I’ve been in an accident. Do you know what that means?”

“That you’re in pain?”

“No. That you have to take extra good care of me.”

I roll my eyes at him. “I always take good care of you. That’s my job. Making sure you don’t fuck up.”

“Well, I sure fucked up pretty badly this time. Does that mean I get to blame you for it now?”

I sigh. “All right, fine. I apologize. I’m sorry I blamed you all this time.”

“For what? Your father’s death?” He laughs. “I didn’t say it to make you think that it was about your father. Oh no, I know what I’ve done.”

“But Tricia just told me that he’d threatened suicide long before then. It wasn’t because of what you did … he was planning it all along.”

“Hmm … I’m sorry your father died. I really am. But I am relieved that it might not be all my doing,” he says with a genuine smile on his face.

“Yeah …” I lie down on his chest again.

“So does that mean you’re no longer mad at me?” he asks, petting my hair.

“Maybe,” I say. “But you’re still an asshole for making me worry about you.”

He grins. “Well, that’s partly your fault, as you’re supposed to look out for me.”

“Oh, bullshit.” I shake my head.

“So I guess you’ll have to make that up to me now,” he muses. “And I know just the way.”

“You dirty pig,” I say, but when he starts tickling me, I lose it.

I’m laughing like a crazy woman, cringing on his bed, wriggling like a snake, and I love it. I love every second that I can spend with this crazy bastard I call mine.

“So, does that mean we’re okay now?”

“I guess.”

“I can be with you without it being awkward?”

“It’s still awkward. You’re awkward,” I say.

He punches my arm softly. “Last time I remembered, you were the one always acting like you lost your damn mind.”

“No, I lost my heart,” I say.

He’s silent for a few seconds, and then he grabs me and hugs me tight. “I’m glad you say that … because the other day I found this heart lying on the asphalt. I thought I’d keep it safe in case you wanted it back, but seriously, you really have to take better care of yourself. You don’t want to lose your heart to some random stranger.”

I laugh. “But I’ll gladly lose it to you.”

He licks his lips. “Damn right. You lost your V-card to me too, so of course I’m gonna steal your heart, too.”

He pulls me closer and presses a hard kiss on my lips. Then he groans, twisting his body. “God, that leg hurts.”

“Don’t move too much; you don’t want to overdo it.”

“I’m still trying to get used to that damn cast,” he says. “Well, I guess that’s what you get for fucking up during a race.”

“I’m just glad you’re alive.”

“Yeah, me too. I lost that race, but there will be more chances, and I’ll surely win some of them,” he says proudly, and then his grin turns devilish again. “At least I finally got to race without blue balls because that fucking hurts on a bike. Just so you know.”

“Too much information!” I say.

“Lucky for the both of us that will never happen again,” he growls.

And then he grabs my shirt and hauls me toward him, kissing me full on the lips. My head spins, my heart bouncing out of my chest, as I feel free for the first time in my life.

“Fuck, I’ll never have enough of you,” he murmurs against my lips.

“Don’t stop,” I whisper. “I need to feel you.”

“Oh, you’ll feel me all right. And soon more than just on your lips.” The accompanying grin makes my heart flutter.

“Bring it on,” I say with a smile.

He bites his lip. “C’mere.” He kisses me again, and again, showering me with kisses, making me laugh. “God, I love that sound,” he says.

“I love you,” I mutter.

He stops for a moment and just looks at me as if he heard something funny from my mouth, which makes me blush even more.

“Say that again,” he says softly.

“I love you.”

He smiles, his hand cupping my face to caress my cheek. “I love you, too. I always have.”

“And I love you, Chris King.”

“Of course, you do.”

I slap him playfully. “You did not just say that.”

“Sure, I did.” He bites his lip. “You always loved me, even when you said you didn’t. You just hated yourself for it. And don’t you dare deny it.”

“Fine. I just couldn’t admit it to myself. But I’ve stopped hating you,” I muse. “Happy now?”

He grabs my face and pulls me toward him again with that same stupid grin on his face that I’ve come to love. “Yes.”

He smashes his lips to mine, warming my skin and my entire body. I kiss him back, equally desperate for more. I could do this forever. His kisses make me feel whole. I feel accepted for who I am. I feel like I could fly.

Chris is okay. I’m okay. We’re all okay.

And that’s more than I’ve ever been before.

I’m happy. So happy that he broke my barriers down and refused to give up on me. So happy that he’s here, and that he wants me, and that I’m fine with saying I want him just as much.

I’m happier than I ever knew I could be.