Текст книги "Bastard: A stepbrother Romance"

Автор книги: Coco Cadence

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Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 13 страниц)

Chapter 31

Emily

I can’t believe I’m in his arms yet again, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to fight it for long. I should have … I should … but it’s impossible. His warm, wet kisses seal the pain away. I need him, so much it hurts, and I hate myself for it. He’s the only one who can take away the bad memories, who can make me feel whole again.

My heart thrums in my throat as his lips plant delicate kisses on top of mine, sucking up the drops of water cascading down on us. I’m quickly warming up from the shower and his kisses, but my brain is turning to mush. His love is what I need, what I desire, but it broke me all the same. The scars he left on my heart aren’t easy to mend, but just the thought that he’s not giving up makes me feel as if I should at least let him try.

Our heated breaths mingle with water and lust as his tongue dips out to lick mine, desperate for more. I can feel his need with every stroke of his tongue and every agonizing groan escaping from his lips. His fingers pull me in, and I grasp at his shirt to pull him closer. I want him.

Near me.

With me.

On me.

In me.

Everywhere. More. More. More. It’s not enough.

I want to drown myself in him, so I can finally feel at ease again. Fighting him has been a conscious choice in order to avoid pain, but it comes at a price I’m no longer willing to pay.

His kisses become more frenzied as he pulls off my shirt and lets his mouth reign free over my skin, kissing me everywhere. His tongue laps up the water rolling down my collarbone, his fingers prying my bra loose. I shed my clothes like an unwanted cocoon, surrendering my body to him. He takes his sweet time staring at my body, taking me in from top to bottom, not skipping an inch of my skin with his hypnotizing eyes. His mouth is equally slow as he drags it up my legs, licking up all the water, causing goosebumps to appear in their place.

“So beautiful …” he murmurs, sliding his tongue up my thighs.

I lean back in the tub, close my eyes, and enjoy the feel of his hands grasping my ass while his mouth is all over me. Rivulets of water change his white shirt into a translucent mesh of hot, tattooed skin and sticky cotton. His six-pack shows right through his shirt, along with that V-line that disappears in his pants, and for a moment, I wish he wasn’t wearing one.

He grins when he catches me staring at his magnificent body.

“Hungry? I know you like what I’ve got to offer.”

I roll my eyes, but then he grabs my hand and places it on his stomach. He leans in again, biting my lip while staring sensually into my eyes. “It’s all yours, babe. You just have to say the words.”

I suck in a breath when he lowers my hand until it reaches his huge hard-on, which barely manages to stay inside his pants. An eager groan slips from his mouth when I rub it softly. “Oh, fuck …”

He kisses me hard and demanding, not giving me an inch of room as he grabs my breast and starts playing with it. Alternating harsh tugs with soft caresses, his touch completely possesses me.

“I want you so much right now,” he murmurs into my mouth. “I can’t get enough. I’ll always want you, Em. Always.”

He rubs my breasts until the nipples are both rigid, and then lowers his head to suck on them, gently biting to make me moan out loud.

“I want to hear you moan every day of my life,” he says, licking the tip. “And I’ll make sure these nipples are always puckered for me, and this pussy is spoiled richly.”

His hand dives between my legs to make a point, rubbing my sensitive clit with his rugged thumb. He drives me crazy with lust, to the point of not giving a shit about anything I’m supposed to be doing or thinking. I’m lost in him and his ability to bring me to the brink of ecstasy.

“I can still remember the taste of your sweetness on my tongue, Em. And fuck me, do I want to gorge myself on you.”

He suddenly lifts me up from the tub, causing me to squeal as he lays down flat on his back and practically rolls me on top of him. I’m sitting on his wet chest, a devious grin and tattooed skin staring back at me.

“Let me make you feel good. Ride me.”

“What?” I murmur.

“Sit on my face.”

My eyes widen, my cheeks turning red. “But …”

“No buts—” he growls, and then he grabs my ass and pulls me toward him, covering his mouth with my pussy.

Oh, god.

Out of all things I could imagine happening, this was definitely not on the list. But boy, when he starts sucking and licking, does it feel good. His tongue expertly circles around my clit, his teeth sometimes nibbling it a little bit, causing pure bliss in my core. The way he sucks and groans quickly brings me to the edge. He’s just that good. When his tongue dips in and out of my pussy, I start moving along with him, unable to control myself.

“Fuck yes,” he murmurs into my flesh. “Ride my face, baby.”

Those filthy words are like a drug to me.

Heat is building between my legs, my wetness probably dripping down his chin, but I really don’t give a shit. All I can think of is his tongue stroking me, and his fingers digging into my skin as he holds me tight, pushing me onto his face, as if he wants me to smother him. I’m actually riding him, my hips moving along to the feel of his mouth cupping my pussy.

“Oh, my god …” I mutter. “I think …”

“Fuck yeah, come all over me,” he growls, biting my nub.

I gasp, and then the shocks come as he continues to lap me up, sucking up every last bit my body has to give to him. I’m quaking on top of him, weak, almost ready to tumble over and then let him fuck the shit out of me. Yeah, I’ve gone that crazy.

“So fucking good,” he says after the last, tingly lick. He throws me a cheeky look from under his lashes. “Did I please you, Mistress?”

“Oh, Jesus …” I chuckle, crawling off him.

“Make that ‘Oh, Chris’ next time, and I might give you another round.”

Before I have time to respond, he swoops me up, and within a few seconds, we’re standing near the back of the tub, my face against the wall, nipples perky from the cold touch.

“C’mere,” he growls, grabbing my breasts with greed, squeezing them as if they’re his toys. “You’re all mine; you know that, right?” he lisps in my ear.

I nod, delirious with need as his hand slides down my bare ass, spreading my cheeks.

“No one else’s. All mine,” he repeats.

And then I can hear his pants drop. Soon after, he tears his shirt off too, casting it aside. When I feel his ripped body against mine, I melt into a puddle.

His rigid cock pushes between my ass cheeks, bouncing up and down from the sheer pleasure of touching me. And I love feeling it … his desire to have me, and only me, for himself.

“God, I want to fuck you so badly …” he groans.

I bite my lip as he slides my wet hair aside and pecks the back of my neck. “Do it.”

“Do what? This?” He sucks on my earlobe while one hand slides down and between my legs again, while the other fondles my nipple. “Or this.” He releases my earlobe, only to pinch my clit. “Or do you want something else, maybe?”

“Fuck me. I want you to fuck me.”

He grins against my skin. “Oh … my pleasure …”

Not even a second later, he pushes into my pussy, filling me completely.

A gasp leaves my mouth along with a loud moan, as I didn’t expect him to come in so fast, so hard. But I love it all the same. The roughness of his hands gripping my waist, the feel of his thickness pushing into me, the touch of his thumb grazing my nipple. God, it’s all too much to even think straight.

My lips part, hungry for more, as he thrusts in and out of me as if he owns me completely; a gruff groan accompanies each thrust, turning me on even more. My wetness coats him with ample lubrication, allowing him to slide into me with ease.

“Fuck, you feel so good wrapped around my cock,” he growls into my ear. “Can you feel how much I want you?”

“Yes …” I moan.

I’m letting his strength completely overtake mine, and I don’t even mind. With my back against his chest, he shoves me against the wall. His hands are all over me, touching me anywhere he can, as if I’ve given him a free pass. Maybe I have handed it to him on a platter. At the moment, I’m too enraptured by his very essence; the way he moves inside me, how he completely absorbs me. My brain has turned off and the focus lies solely on pleasure. It’s so good that I might come again just from his cock alone.

“You’re moaning so loud … Like it so much, huh?” he muses.

“Oh, fuck …” I squeeze my legs tight to increase the pressure building inside, and it makes him even harder.

“Fuck yes, keep doing that,” he says. “You gonna come again?”

I nod as he presses another lusty kiss on my cheek, my mouth inching toward his, desperate to connect. We kiss, our tongues mixing and mingling with heat as his cock begins to pulse. He bites my lip hungrily, grabbing my hips with both hands to thrust even deeper. And then it happens. Pure bliss.

I fall apart with my face against the tiles of the bathroom wall, my legs quaking underneath me.

He groans, “Fuck!”

My pussy clamps around his shaft, and then it explodes, cum bursting out. I can feel it fill me up to the brim, jetting inside me multiple times before streaming down my legs as his half-hard cock slides out of me.

He presses an exasperated kiss on my shoulder, worming his way into my heart again. Between huffs and puffs, we exchange tired looks. His sweet smile gives me butterflies. A yawn escapes my mouth, and he chuckles.

Then he suddenly picks me up in his arms, making me squeal. “Let’s go to bed. You need some sleep.”

Over his shoulder, he carries me to my bedroom and lays me down under the blankets. I only catch half of what he does because I’m so goddamn tired I could sleep for days. I don’t know where this sudden need for rest has come from. Maybe from the fact that a stranger attacked me after a long day at work and a few drinks afterward, and then on top of that, I had sex with Chris. Or maybe a few drinks were a few too many. Who knows. Drowsy, I close my eyes and enjoy floating on the lingering sparks of passion.

And before I fall into a deep slumber, I only barely notice the hand that curls around my stomach and pulls me closer toward safety. Toward heaven.

But it definitely was there.

Or am I dreaming now?

Chapter 32

Chris

Age 17

 

I watched her from a distance, hiding her tears in her scarf as she stood over her father’s grave. I wasn’t allowed to go to the funeral. They didn’t want me to make it even more difficult than it already was for her, and I agreed. I didn’t make a fuss. I was actually relieved that I didn’t have to face the destruction I’d caused.

I killed her father.

Maybe not directly, but my words made him commit suicide.

It’s been months since the funeral, but the images are still lodged in my mind.

I wish I could undo what I did, but it’s too late for that.

All I can do now is try to stay out of her way.

She hates me. I can see it in her eyes whenever she spots me … the need to erase me from her thoughts. And I don’t blame her … I deserve it all.

Since his death, my mother has moved back into my father’s house, looking for support. She had nobody else but us. Of course, being the forgiving man that he is, my father accepted her back. Maybe not with open arms, but I could definitely tell he still loved her. We all did. Despite her leaving our family, we needed her back.

She came back and brought Emily to our house as well. I knew it was because she didn’t have anywhere else to go, but she didn’t want to be with us. Not in a million years.

Except she had no one left to care for her.

So my mother did what she thought was right. Since she was shortly married to her father, she had legal custody over Emily, which meant she could come live with us.

I’m not sure if it was the right decision, however, because Emily seemed to resent her for it. And me, of course, for being the cause.

I tried to stay out of her way, most of the time. But it was never the same.

She never ate dinner with us; she was always in her bedroom.

She never joined family nights or any of the activities we did together.

She pretty much locked herself away with her books and her memories.

Sometimes I stand in front of her door, my hand hovering so close I could knock. I think about all the things I’d say to her—how I’d beg her for forgiveness, how I’d attempt to rebuild our relationship. Or any relationship, for that matter. With her, my family. Anyone and anything would be okay, as long as she’d stop being angry. So we can move on.

But then I realize that’s the most selfish thing I could ever think.

Maybe she doesn’t want to forgive. Maybe she doesn’t want to forget.

And who am I to tell her any different?

I was the one who made her sad. I was the one who made her world stop.

I can’t possibly do or say anything that would make it better. I can’t fix anything.

And so the moment where I attempt to redeem myself passes. I lower my hand and walk to my room. Just like I always do.

Walk away, for her sake. So maybe, one day, she’ll be happy again. Even if it’s without me.

***

Present

Waking up next to Emily feels like a dream come true.

It’s only when I realize that she’s still sleeping that it sinks in what we did last night.

We had sex, and I didn’t wear any protection.

I don’t want her to worry because I don’t have anything. I get myself checked every month, and I had my latest check-up just a few days ago. I haven’t fucked anyone else beside her, and she hasn’t either. I know her too well for that. She’s not the type to fool around.

Still, I know she’ll be mad at herself and me. We’re stupid and in love. Or at least, I am. I can feel it when I look at her, my heart pounding out of my chest, a smile lodged on my face. Just thinking about being with her makes me happy, like we’re floating on a cloud.

Except, the moment she wakes up, I’ll come crashing down again.

I don’t want her to be angry with me. I have to fight for her love, fight for her approval, fight for her. I’ll prove myself to her.

In a love-drunk haze, I pick up my phone, only to realize that it’s fucking eleven, and I’m supposed to be at the tracks in less than an hour.

I scramble out of bed, gather my clothes to put them on, and grab a piece of paper and a pen. I write down some words, hoping she’ll understand. I’m not much of a words type of man. I prefer action, hot action most of all. But there will be plenty of time for that later.

First, I have to show her that I can be the man she wants. Responsible, dutiful, caring, and above all, someone to be proud of.

I glance at her one final time before I leave her apartment. I’ll have the sight of her lying naked on her bed firmly planted in my memory, which will help me win today’s race.

I will fucking win.

I will fucking get her.

I will make things right.

Chapter 33

Emily

The moment I’m awake, my eyes spring open and I sit up straight in my bed.

Oh, my god. I had sex with Chris last night. And … fuck!

I throw off the blanket, jump out of bed, and rip open my drawer to rummage through my shit until I find my pill. I quickly swallow one down before the time between the previous one ends. I’m still in time, I should be in the safe-zone.

Except, I had sex with Chris. Again.

Biting my lip, I turn around and breathe a sigh of relief when I notice he isn’t even there.

Which is weird because I could’ve sworn he went to bed with me last night.

That’s when I notice the lights are on in the living room, and there’s a half-full glass of milk sitting on the table. Next to it is a note.

I grab it and read it immediately.

I love you, Emily.

I know you don’t want to hear it, but I have to say it. I had to get it off my chest, which is why I’ll write it in a note instead of telling you out loud.

I love you.

More than anything in this world.

And I’m sorry for what I did. There’s no way I can make it up to you, but I still hope you’ll forgive me one day. I’ll wait until you’re ready. Forever, if I have to.

I wish I could’ve stayed in bed with you, but I have a race in about fifteen minutes. I’m dedicating it to you.

I promise you now I’ll win, no matter what.

I’ll win your heart again, too … one day.

 

 

Xx Chris

 

 

PS: No, I don’t have any STDs and I know you don’t either, so we’re safe. If you want proof, come and get it. Locker fourteen. The combination is three-five-zero-nine.

I sigh out loud. “Seriously, Chris?”

Now I have to follow him to the tracks to make sure. I guess that was his plan all along to get me to come to his race.

Well, since my job requires me to be there anyway to answer questions in his place and arrange interviews, I guess I have no choice but to show up.

Suddenly, my phone rings. It’s Alyssa.

“Hey, Emily! Are you going to the racetracks today?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Oh, I just figured it’d be fun for us to go together.”

I frown, wondering what she’s up to. It sounds like a trap. “You sure you want that?”

“Of course! I have a day off today, and I’m bored. Plus, I know you’ll need the mental support.”

“Thanks,” I say sarcastically.

“Aw, now, don’t take it the wrong way. You know I’m always cheering you on.”

“Yeah, I know. But … oh, forget it.”

“Oh, boy. Tell me … what happened?”

“Ah, it’s nothing,” I say, already flushing from the thought that I actually considered telling her.

“Is it about Chris?” she muses. “It is, isn’t it?”

“Maybe, but let’s just meet up, okay?” I’m trying my best to shift the conversation, but she’s not letting this go.

“What did he do? Did he try to do something? Did you guys make out?”

“Alyssa!” I can already feel my cheeks heat up.

“Oh, my god.”

“What?”

“You didn’t.”

“I didn’t what.”

She muffles a laugh. “You did …. didn’t you?”

“I did what?” I frown.

“I knew it!” she squeals.

Oh, lord. Did she find out just by asking nothing? She did, didn’t she?

“You had sex with him!”

“What? What makes you think that?”

“Don’t deny it! When you get all secretive and keep your emotions tucked away, I know there’s something wrong. And since it has to do with Chris, I figured this was the only answer.”

“Alyssa! Seriously?”

“Hey, I’ve known for a long time that dude would not give up on you. I’m surprised you lasted as long as you did.”

“Oh, my god … we are not having this conversation.” I rub my forehead, wishing I could just hang up, but that would be rude.

“Don’t worry; I’ll keep your secret. But that doesn’t mean I can’t secretly be proud of you, Em.” I think I can hear her smile through the phone. “I knew you two would get back together.”

“Jesus, he really has told you a lot, hasn’t he?”

“Ahh, we talk sometimes. No biggie.”

“Right …” I sigh.

“I promise I won’t tell anyone as long as you come to the tracks with me.”

“Did he ask you to do this?” I say, raising a brow.

“Maybe …”

“Argh,” I growl.

“I’m doing this as a favor to you, not to him. I know how much you guys want each other, so I’m playing the intermediary here. You can both tell me your darkest secrets and desires, and I get to play matchmaker. Sound good?”

“No!”

She laughs again. “All right, all right. I promise I won’t do anything stupid. I just want you to come with me. He told me he wants you to be there when he wins. I think he just wants you to know how much he needs you.”

“So, he got to you, too …”

“He gets to everyone, Em. You, of all people, know he has that effect on people.”

“Manipulative bastard.”

“That’s one manipulative bastard who wants you the most. I’d say that’s a catch,” she muses.

“Okay, stop. I know how much he wants me and how much I want him, yada yada yada. Can we please get to the point? This is embarrassing.”

“Not until you say yes.”

“Fine,” I mumble.

“So you’ll come with me? Yay!” It’s almost as if she’s doing a little happy dance. “All right, meet me out front.”

***

An hour later

Everybody’s screaming and shouting Chris’s name as he and several other bikers wait for the signal. Alyssa is biting her nails next to me, the anticipation becoming too much for her, while I’m sitting here, still pondering what to do with our little ‘situation.’ I admit, I didn’t want to be here, but now that I am, I feel the enthusiasm bubbling to the surface. I don’t want him to lose. The last time that happened, he got drunk and we had hate-sex. I can’t imagine all the shit he’ll spew at the press when they ask him how it went. Oh, no … that’ll be a shitstorm I’d rather avoid.

He has to win. Not just for himself, but maybe a little bit for me too because I like to see that proud look on his face. It actually makes me feel good to see him smile.

And smile he does. When he spots me in the crowd, he seems surprised, but then he grins. He mouths ‘this one is for you, babe.’ My cheeks turn red as he sends me a wink and blows me a kiss. The girls behind me lose their minds, but I don’t care, as my heart jumps up and down at the thought that he’s aimed his affection at me.

It’s almost time, and everyone around me is getting anxious, including me. I can see Chris focusing on the job, as he lowers his visor and starts his motorcycle. The humming of the engines fuels the adrenaline pumping through my body.

And then they take off.

Biting my lip, I watch him shoot across the tracks like a lightning bolt, faster than I’ve ever seen him race. It’s as if he’s on fire, ahead of all the others, but they soon close the distance. They’re all fierce and masters of the track, slipping and sliding along the curves, passing each other with just an inch of space. It’s nerve-wracking to watch.

The crowd is cheering and the sound is deafening, but I’m really pumped up now. I didn’t know it could be this much fun to watch Chris race his ass off. I’m actually cheering for him, too.

When he almost touches the ground with his knee, another racer manages to pass him so tightly that their motorcycles briefly graze each other.

And then the most horrifying thing happens.

His bike starts to swing erratically across the road, the handle rapidly going left and right. Chris attempts to get it under control, but his strength alone is not enough to stop the motorcycle from spinning out of control.

From then on out, everything feels as if it’s happening in slow motion.

People scream, yelling his name, crying for mercy.

My fingers wrap around my face, tightening, holding on for dear life as if it’s the only thing tethering me to this world.

I can’t believe what’s happening.

I stare in horror at what seems like a nightmare unfolding.

Chris.

This can’t be happening right now.

Please tell me it isn’t true.

His bike catches a hard layer of dirt and flips over sideways, scraping along the road. I hold my breath as I see Chris tumble across the track, bikes passing him, some barely managing to miss him. The bike keeps spinning with him still on it, his body limp, even though his hands remain gripped on the handles.

When the bike stops, the crowd grows silent. Dust blows up from the ground, covering the scene in an ominous cloud.

My fingers dig into my skin as I glare at the onslaught.

Pieces of metal lie scattered across the road; the cloud still hiding his bike.

People around me stand up, but I can’t move. It’s as if I’m completely frozen, glued to my seat. This feels like a nightmare that’s too real to be true.

I never thought this could happen.

And now it did.

Chris was in an accident, and I don’t even know if he’s alive.

My skin prickles with goosebumps as Alyssa grabs my arm and gasps. “Chris … Oh, my god.”

Her voice sounds like a faint echo. A repeating sound at the bottom of a dark well where I’m trapped with no way out.

Chris.

Is he alive?

“Em,” Alyssa says.

I don’t know what to do.

I have to see him. I have to know if he’s still alive. If he’s hurt. If he’s okay.

Anything.

But I can’t move. It’s as if I don’t even exist anymore.

“Em! Snap out of it.” Alyssa jerks my arm, forcing me to move.

It doesn’t feel like I’m me anymore, but somehow, some way, my face turns toward her.

“We’ve got to go down there!” she says. “Let’s go.”

She drags me up from my seat and down the stairs, but I’m still completely fazed out after what just happened. I can still see the crash in front of me, as if it’s repeating again and again in my mind.

Everything that comes next happens in a blur.

Chris being hauled from underneath the wreckage.

His bike completely mauled.

His body lying limp on a stretcher. Doctors surrounding him, giving all kinds of medical attention.

And I’m just walking after them like a zombie, staring at Chris, wondering if I’ll ever see his smile again.