Текст книги "Cyteen "
Автор книги: C. J. Cherryh
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Текущая страница: 24 (всего у книги 61 страниц)
She was also longer-legged than he was, and she could pick him up. He had thought boys were supposed to be taller and stronger. The Instructor said not when you were seven.
So he felt a little better about it. And he walked fast keeping up with Catlin, breathing harder than she was when they got to Green Barracks.
But when they checked in there was a stop on both of them at the desk. The azi there looked at his machine and said:
"Report to the Super, White section."
That was clear across the Town. That was Hospital. That meant tape. Instead of going to their quarters. "Yes," Catlin said, taking her card back and clipping it to her shirt. He took his back.
"Same instruction," the azi said.
"I wonder why," he said when they went back out onto the walk, headed for White.
"No good wondering," Catlin said. But she was worried, and she walked fast. He kept up with little extra efforts now and again.
The sun had gone behind the Cliffs a long time ago. The sky was going pink now and the lights were going to be on before they could get back. The walks and the roads were mostly deserted because most everyone was at supper. It was a strange time to be going to take tape. He felt uneasy.
When they got to the Hospital the clerk took their cards and read them; and told them each where to go.
He looked at Catlin when she went off her own way. He felt afraid then, and didn't know what of, or why, except he felt like he was in danger and she was. If you took tape you went to Hospital in the daytime. Not when you were supposed to be having dinner. His stomach was empty and he had thought maybe it was going to be a surprise exercise: they did that to the Olders, hauled them out of bed and you could hear them heading down the hall in the middle of the night, fast as they could run.
But it was not a Room when they got there, it was truly Hospital. You couldn't do anything except what you were told, and you didn't think inHospital, you just took your shirt off and hung it up, then you climbed up on the table and sat there trying not to shiver until the Super got there to answer your questions.
It was a Super he had never had before. It was a man, who turned on the tape equipment before he even looked at him; and then said:
"Hello, Florian. How are you?"
"I'm scared, ser. Why are we getting tape now?"
"The tape will tell you. Don't be scared." He picked up a hypo and took Florian's arm and shot him with it. Florian jerked. He had gotten nervous about noises like that. The Super patted his shoulder and laid the hypo down. And held on to him because that was a strong one: Florian could feel it working very fast.
"Good boy," the Super said, and his hands were gentle even if he didn't talk as nice as some Supers. He never let him go, and swung him around and helped him get his legs up on the table, and his hand was always there, under his shoulders, on his shoulder or his forehead. "This is going to be a deep one. You aren't afraid now."
"No," he said, feeling the fear go away, but not the sense of being open.
"Deeper still. Deep as you can go, Florian. Go to the center and wait for me there. ..."
xiii
"I don't wanta party," Ari said, slouching in the chair when uncle Denys was talking to her. "I don't want any nasty party, I don't like any of the kids, I don't want to have to be nice to them."
She was already in bad with uncle Denys for borrowing Nelly's keycard, because Nelly, being Nelly, had told uncle Denys and uncle Giraud the whole thing when uncle Denys asked her. Nelly didn't want to get her in trouble. They had caught her anyway. Nelly had been awfully upset. And uncle Denys had had a severe Talk with her and with Nelly about security and safety in the building and going where she was supposed to.
Most of all he had said he was mad at Justin and Grant for not calling him and telling him that she was where she wasn't supposed to be, and they were in trouble too. Uncle Denys had sent them an angry message; and now they were supposed to report her if she came by there instead of the halls she was supposed to be in.
Ari was real mad at uncle Denys.
"You don't want the other kids," uncle Denys said, like a question.
"They're stupid."
"Well, what about a grown-up party? You can have punch and cake. And all of that. And have your presents. I wasn't thinking of having the whole Family. What about Dr. Ivanov and Giraud—"
"I don't like Giraud."
"Ari, that's not nice. He's my brother. He's your uncle. And he's been very nice to you."
"I don't care. You won't let me invite who Iwant."
"Ari, —"
"It's not Justin's fault I took Nelly's keycard."
Uncle Denys sighed. "Ari, —"
"I don't want an old party."
"Look, Ari, I don't know if Justin cancome."
"I want Justin and I want Grant and I want Mary."
"Who's Mary?"
"Mary's the tech down in the labs."
"Mary's azi, Ari, and she'd feel dreadfully uncomfortable. But if you really want to, I'll see about Justin. I don't promise, mind. He's awfully busy. I'll have to ask him. But you can send him an invitation."
Thatwas better. She sat up a little and leaned her elbows on the chair arms. And gave uncle Denys a lot nicer look.
"Nelly isn't going to have to go to hospital, either," she said.
"Ari, dear, Nelly hasto go to hospital, because you made Nelly awfully upset. It's not myfault. You put Nelly in a hard place and if Nelly has to go to rest a while, I'm sure I don't blame her."
"That's nasty, uncle Denys."
"Well, so is stealing Nelly's card. Nelly will be back tomorrow morning, Nelly will be just fine. I'll call Justin and I'll tell Mary you thought about her. She'll be very pleased. But I don't promise anything. You be good and we'll see. All right?"
"All right," she said.
She was still mad about having to stay in the downstairs hall on her way back and forth to tape; and she tried and tried to think how she could get around that, but she hadn't figured it out yet.
So they were not going to have a party in the big dining room downstairs this year because uncle Denys said there was so much work lately anyway that a lot of people couldn't come. So they were going to have just a little one, in the apartment, but the kitchen was going to do the food and bring it up; and there would be just a few grown-ups, and they would have a nice dinner and have punch and cake and open her presents. She would get to plan the dinner with Nelly and sit at the head of the table and have anything she wanted. And Justin and Grant might be able to come, Denys said.
So they did.
Justin and Grant came to the door and Justin shook uncle Denys's hand.
Then the scared feeling shot clear across the room. Justin was scared when he came in. Grant too. And everyone in the room was stiff and nasty and trying not to be.
It was her party, dammit. Ari got up with the upset going straight to her stomach, and ran over and was as friendly as she could be. You didn't get anywhere by telling people to be nice. You just got their attention and shook them up until they fixed on you instead of what they had fixed on, and then you could do things with them. She didn't have time to work out who was doing what—she just went for Justin: he was the key to it and she knew that right away.
Uncle Giraud was there, and Giraud's azi Abban; and Dr. Ivanov and a very pretty azi named Ule, who was his. And Dr. Peterson and his azi Ramey; and her favorite instructor Dr. Edwards and his azi Gale, who was older than he was, but nice: Dr. Edwards was one of her invites. Dr. Edwards was a biochemist, but he knew about all sorts of things, and he worked a lot with her after her tape. And there was uncle Denys, of course, who was talking to Justin.
"Hello!" she said, getting in the way.
"Hello," Grant said, and gave her their present. She shook it. It wasn't heavy. It didn't rattle. "What is it?" she asked. She knew they wouldn't tell her. Mostly she wanted to get hold of them. And they were looking mostly at her.
"You have to wait to open it, don't you?" Justin said. "That's why it's wrapped."
She bounced over and gave it to Nelly to put with all the others that were stacked around the chair in the corner. It was like the whole room took a breath. She let it go a minute to see what the grown-ups were going to do now that they knew for sure that Justin and Grant were her invites.
The grown-ups had drinks and got to talking, and everyone was being nice. It was going to be nice. She would make it nice even if uncle Denys was getting over a mad with Justin. It was herparty and hersay-so, and she intended to have it, and to have a good time. No one was going to spoil it; or she would get them good.
Giraud was the nasty one. She was watching him real close, and she caught his eye when no one else was looking, and gave him a real straight look, so he knew that. Then she bounced back over and took Justin's hand and had him look at all her pile of presents, and introduced him and Grant to Nelly, which embarrassed Nelly, but at least you knew Nelly was going to be nice and not make things blow up.
She went into her suite and brought out some of her nicest and most curious things to show everyone. She got everyone fixed on her. Pretty soon everybody was being a lot nicer, and people started talking and having a good time, having a before-dinner drink. But she didn't. She didn't want to spoil dinner.
It was different than parties she had had before, with the kids. She had a blue blouse with sparkles. A hairdresser had come in the afternoon and done her hair up with braids. She was very careful of it, and careful of her clothes when she sat on the floor. She was very pretty and she felt very grown-up and important, and she smiled at everybody now that they were being nice. When Seely said it was time to eat and the kitchen staff was going to be bringing the food in, she had Justin sit by her on one side at the table and Dr. Ivanov sat down next to him on the other, with Dr. Edwards across from him, so he was safe from Giraud, especially since Dr. Peterson sat down next to Dr. Edwards. Which left uncle Denys and uncle Giraud farthest away. You weren't supposed to have an odd number at table. But they did. She had wanted Grant to be there, but uncle Denys said Grant would enjoy the party more with the other azi, and even Nelly said, while she was helping her get dressed, that Grant would be embarrassed if he had to be the only azi at the table where the CITs ate. So since Nelly said it too, she decided uncle Denys knew what he was talking about.
She got to sit at the head of the table; and she got to talk to adults, who talked about the labs and about things she didn't know, but she always learned something when she listened, and she didn't mind it at all when the adults quit asking her questions about her studies and her fish and began talking to each other.
It was a lot better, she was sure now, than kid-parties, where everybody was nasty and stupid.
When Justin and Grant had come in everyone had acted just exactly the way the other kids acted when shecame near them. She hated that. She didn't know why they did it. She had thought grown-ups were more grown-up than that. It was depressing to learn they weren't.
At least adults covered it up better. And she figured it was easier to deal with if you weren't the target of it. So she started figuring out where the problems were.
Uncle Giraud was the worst. He always was. Uncle Giraud was minding his manners, but he was still sulking about something, and talking about business to uncle Denys, who didn't want him to.
Justin wasn't saying anything. He didn't want to. Dr. Peterson was just kind of dull, and he was talking to Dr. Ivanov, who was bored and mostly trying to listen to what Dr. Edwards was saying about the problems with the algae project. Uncle Denys was watching everybody and being nice, and trying to get Giraud, who was next to him, to stop talking.
She knew about the algae. Dr. Edwards had told her. He showed her all these sealed bottles with different kinds of algae and told her what Earth's oceans had in them and what the difference was on Cyteen.
So she was trying to listen to that and she answered Dr. Peterson sometimes when he tried to talk to her instead of Dr. Ivanov.
It was still better than playing with Amy Carnath. And nobody was being nasty.
So when they got past cake and punch, and it was time for the adults to drink their drinks, she grabbed Justin by the hand and sat him in the circle of chairs right on the end next to uncle Denys. And, oh! that made Justin really nervous.
That was all right. That was because Justin was smart and knew if uncle Denys got mad at him everything was going to blow up. But she was too smart for that to happen. She opened uncle Denys' present first. It was a watch that could do most everything. A real watch. She was delighted, but even if she hadn't been she would have said she was, because she wanted uncle Denys happy. She went and she kissed uncle Denys on the cheek and was just as nice as she could be.
She opened uncle Giraud's present next, just to make uncle Denys realhappy, and it was an awfully nice holo of the whole planet of Cyteen. You moved it and the clouds went round. Everybody was real impressed with it, especially Dr. Edwards, and uncle Giraud explained it was a special kind of holo and brand new. So uncle Giraud was a surprise: he had really tried hard to find her a nice gift and he really liked it himself. She had never known uncle Giraud liked things like that, but of course, he was the one who had given her the bird in the cube, too. So she understood something about Giraud that was different than him being nasty all the time. She gave him a big kiss and skipped off to open Dr. Ivanov's present, which was a puzzle box.
And Dr. Edwards', then, which was a piece of gold plastic until you put your fingers on it or laid something like a pencil on it, and then it made the shadow in different colors according to how warm it was, and you could make designs with it that stayed a while. It was real nice. She had known whatever he gave her would be. But she didn't make any more fuss over it than over Dr. Ivanov's puzzle and Dr. Peterson's book about computers, and certainly not more than over uncle Denys's watch or uncle Giraud's holo.
It was working, too. They were having a good time. She opened Nelly's present, which was underwear—oh, that was like Nelly—and then she opened Justin's; which was a ball in a ball in a ball, all carved. It was beautiful. It was the kind of thing maman would have had and said: Ari, don't touch that!And it was hers. But she mustn't fuss over it. No matter how much she liked it. She said thank you and got right into the huge pile of other things from people who hadn't come to her party.
There were things from the kids. Even nasty Amy sent her a scarf. And Sam gave her a robot bug that would really crawl and find its way around the apartment. It was expensive, she knew, she had seen it in the store; and it was awfully nice of Sam.
There were a lot of books and tapes and some paints and a lot of clothes: she thought uncle Denys probably told people the sizes because everybody knew. And there was clay to work and a lot of games and several bracelets and a couple of cars and even a roll-the-ball maze puzzle from Mary the azi, down in the labs. That was awfully nice. She made a note to send Mary a thank-you. And Sam too.
Presents were good for making everybody feel happy. The grown-ups drank wine and uncle Denys even let her have a quarter of a glass. It was suspicious-tasting, like it was spoiled or something. All the adults laughed when she said that; even Justin smiled; but uncle Denys said it certainly wasn't, it was supposedto taste like that, and she couldn't have any more or she would feel funny and get sleepy.
So she didn't. She worked her puzzle-box and got it open while the grown-ups drank a lot and laughed with each other and while uncle Denys finally got her watch set with the right date. It was not a bad party at all. She yawned and everybody said it was time to go. And they called the azi and wished her happy birthday while she stood at the door with uncle Denys the way maman would have and said goodbye and thank you for coming. Everybody was noisy and happy like a long time ago. Denys was really smiling at Dr. Edwards and shook his hand and told Dr. Edwards he was really happy he came. Which made Dr. Edwards happy, because uncle Denys was the Administrator, and she wanted to get uncle Denys to like Dr. Edwards. And uncle Denys even was nice to Justin, and was really smiling at him and Grant when they left. So allof her invites worked.
Everyone left, even uncle Giraud; and it was time to clean up the presents and all. But Ari figured it was not too late to get another point with uncle Denys, so she went and hugged him.
"Thank you," she said. "That was a nice party. I love the watch. Thank you."
"Thank you,Ari. That was nice."
And he smiled at her in a funny way. Like he was really happy for a lot of reasons.
He kissed her on the forehead and told her go to bed.
But she was feeling so good she decided to help Nelly and Seely pick up the presents, and she gave Nelly special instructions to be careful with her favorites.
She turned on Sam's bug and let it run around real fast. "What's that?" Nelly cried, and uncle Denys came out again to see what the commotion was.
So she clapped her hands and stopped it, and snatched it up and took it to her room.
Real fast. Because she was really trying to be good.
xiv
Ari waked in the morning with the Minder dinging away and told it shut up, she had heard it. She rubbed her eyes and really wished she could stay there, but she was supposed to go to tape, it was that day. And there was no more going by Justin's office either.
She had a lot of new toys in her bedroom, and a lot of new clothes; but mostly she would like to just lie here and go back to sleep, except pretty soon Nelly would be in telling her she had to move.
So she beat Nelly. She rolled over and slid over the side of the bed. And went to the bath and slid out of her pajamas and took her shower and brushed her teeth.
Usually Nelly was in the room by now.
So she put on the clothes Nelly had laid out for her last night and said: "Minder, call Nelly."
"Nelly isn't here," the Minder said. "Nelly's gone to the hospital."
She was scared then. But that could have been the old message. She said: "Minder, where's uncle Denys?"
"Ari," the Minder said, in uncle Denys's voice, "come to the dining room."
"Where's Nelly?" she asked again.
"Nelly's in the hospital. She's fine. Come to the dining room."
She brushed her hair fast. She opened the door and walked down the hall of her suite past Nelly's room. She opened the door to the main apartment and walked on into the sitting room.
Uncle Denys was at the table beyond the arch. She walked in, clipping her keycard on, and uncle Denys said she should sit down and have breakfast.
"I don't want to. What's the matter with Nelly?"
"Sit down," uncle Denys said.
So she sat. She wasn't going to learn anything till she did. She knew uncle Denys. She reached for a muffin and ate a nibble dry. And Seely came and poured her orange juice. Her stomach felt upset.
"There," uncle Denys said. "Nelly's in hospital because she's getting some more tape. Nelly's not really able to keep up with you, Ari, and you're really going to have to be careful with her from now on. You're getting bigger, you're getting very clever, and poor Nelly thinks it's her duty to keep up with you. The doctors are going to tell her it's not her fault. There's a lot Nelly has to adjust to. But you do have to remember not to hurt Nelly."
"I don't. I didn't know the bug was going to scare her."
"If you'd thought, you would have."
"I guess so," she said. It was a lonely morning without Nelly. But at least Nelly was all right. She put a little butter on her muffin. It tasted better. "One of the things Nelly has to adjust to," uncle Denys said, "is two more azi in the household, because there will be."
She looked at uncle Denys, not real happy. Seely was bad enough. "They'll be yours," uncle Denys said. "They're part of your birthday. But you mustn't tell them that: people aren't birthday presents. It's not nice." She swallowed a big gulp of muffin. She wasn't at all happy, she didn't want any azi but Nelly to be following her around, and if it was like a present, she didn't want to hurt uncle Denys's feelings, either, for a whole lot of reasons. She thought fast and tried to think of a way to say no.
"So you don't have to go to tapestudy today," uncle Denys said. "You go over to hospital and pick them up. And you can spend your day showing them what to do. They're not like Nelly. They're both Alphas. Experimentals." A large gulp of orange juice. She didn't know what to think about that. Alphas were rare. They were also awfully hard to deal with. She was sure they were supposed to be watching her. That sounded an awful lot like uncle Denys was going to make it really hard for her to do anythingshe wasn't supposed to. She wasn't sure whether this present came from uncle Denys, or uncle Giraud.
"You go to the desk," uncle Denys said, "and you give your card to Security, and they'll register them to you. Effectively, you're going to be their Supervisor, and that's quite a lot different than Nelly. I'mNelly's Supervisor. You're only her responsibility. This is quite different. You know what a Supervisor does? You know how responsible that is?"
"I'm a kid,"she protested.
Uncle Denys chuckled and buttered another muffin. "That's all right. So are they." He looked up, serious. "But they're not toys, Ari. You understand how serious it is if you get mad at them, or if you hit them the way you hit Amy Carnath."
"I wouldn't do that!" You didn't hit azi. You didn't talk nasty to them. Except Ollie. And Phaedra. For different reasons. But they were both special, even Phaedra.
"I don't think you would, dear. But I just want you to think about it before you hurt them. And you can. You could hurt them very, very badly, a lot more than you can Nelly—the way only I could hurt Nelly. You understand?"
"I'm not sure I want them, uncle Denys."
"You need other children, Ari. You need somebody your own age."
That was true. But there wasn't anybody who didn't drive her crazy. And it was going to be awful if they did, because they were going to live-in.
"The boy is Florian, the girl is Catlin, and it's their birthday too, well, just about. They'll live in the room next to yours and Nelly's, that's what it was always for. But they'll have to go back to the Town for some of their lessons, and they'll do tapestudy in the House, just like you do. They're kids just like you, and they have Instructors they have to pay attention to. They're very quick. In a lot of things they're ahead of you. That's the way with azi, especially the bright ones. So you're going to have to work to keep up with them."
She was listening now. No one had ever said she wasn't the best at anything. She didn't believe they could be. They wouldn't be. There was nothing she couldn't do if she wanted to. Maman always said so.
"Are you finished?"
"Yes, ser."
"Then you can go. You pick them up and you show them around, and you stay out of trouble, all right?"
She got down from table and she left, out into the halls, past Security and the big front doors and across the driveway and along the walk to the hospital. She ran part of the way, because it was boring otherwise.
But she was dignified and grown-up when she passed the hospital doors and gave her card to hospital Security at the desk.
"Yes, sera," they said. "Come this way."
So they brought her to a room.
And they left and the other door opened. A nurse let in two azi her own age. The girl was pale, pale blonde, with a braid; the boy was shorter, with hair blacker than their uniforms.
And uncle Denys was right. Nobody ever looked at her that way when she had just met them. It was like friends right off. It was more than that. It was like they were in a scary place and she was the only one who could get them out of it.
"Hello," she said. "I'm Ari Emory."
"Yes, sera." Very softly, from both, almost together.
"You're supposed to come with me."
"Yes, sera."
It felt really, really strange. Not like Nelly. Not like Nelly at all. She held the door button for them and she took them out by the desk and said that she was taking them.
"Here are their keycards, sera," the man at the desk said. And she took them and looked at them.
There were their names. Florian AF-9979 and Catlin AC-7892. And the Alpha symbol in the class blank. And the wide black border of House Security across the bottom.
She saw that and a cold feeling went through her stomach, a terrible feeling, like finding the Security guard in maman's apartment. She never forgot that. She had nightmares about that.
But she didn't let them see her face right then. She got herself straight before she turned around and gave them their cards, and they put them on.
And they had different expressions too, out here, very serious, very azi: they were listening to her, they were watching her, but they were watching everything.
You had to remember how they had been in the room, she thought. You had to think how they had looked in there, to know that that was real too, and that they were two things.
They were Security and they were hers, and it was other people they were watching like that, every little move that went on around her.
I wanted an Ollie,she remembered, but that was not what uncle Denys had given her. He gave her Security.
Why?she wondered, a little mad, a little scared. What do I need them for?
But they were her responsibility. So she took them out and down the walk to the House and checked them in with House Security. They were very correct with the officer on duty. "Yes, sera,"they said very sharply to the officer, and the officer talked fast and ran through the rules for them in words and codes she had never heard. But the azi knew. They were very confident.
Uncle Denys hadn't said they had to come straight home, but she thought they should. Except she went by uncle Denys's office and uncle Denys was there. So she took them in and introduced them.
Then she took them home and showed them where they would live, and their own rooms; and explained to them about Nelly.
"You have to do what Nelly says," she said. "So do I, most of the time. Nelly's all right."
They were not quite nervous; it was something else. Especially Catlin, who had this way of looking at everything real fast. Both of them were very tense and very stiff and formal.
That was all right, they were respectful and they were being nice.
So she got out her Starchase game, set it up on the dining table and explained what the rules were.
None of the other kids ever listened the way they listened. They didn't tease or joke. She passed out the money and dealt out the cards and gave them their pieces. And when they started playing it got real tense.
She wasn't sure whether it was a fight or a game, but it was different than Amy Carnath, a lot different, because nobody was mad, they just went at it; and pretty soon she was leaning over the board and thinking so hard she was chewing her lip without knowing it for a while.
They likedit when she did something sneaky. They were sneaky right back, and the minute you got your pieces where you could get Florian in trouble, Catlin was moving up on the other side.
Starchase was usually real fast to play. And they were at it a long time, till she could get enough money to get enough ships built to keep Catlin off till she could get Florian cornered.
But then he asked if the rules let him join Catlin.
No one had ever thought of that. She thought it was smart. She got the rulebook out and looked.
"They don't say you can't," she said. And her shoulders were tired and she was stiff from sitting still so long. "Let's go put the board in my room so Seely won't mess it up and we'll have lunch, all right?"
"Yes, sera," they said.
They had a way of doing that to remind her they weren't just kids, every time she tried to make them relax.
But Florian carried the board in and he didn't spill it. And she thought she had rather go have lunch in North wing: uncle Denys let her go to the restaurant there, the little one, where the azi and the manager all knew her.
So that was where she took them, to Changes,down next to the shops, at the corner, where mostly Staff had lunch. She introduced them, she sat down and told them to sit down, and she had to order for them: "Sera," Florian whispered, looking awfully embarrassed after a moment of looking at the menu, "what are we supposed to do with this?"
"Pick out what you want to eat."
"I don't know these words. I don't think Catlin does."
Catlin shook her head, very sober and very worried-looking.
So she asked them what they liked, and they said they usually had sandwiches at lunch. She ordered that for them and for herself.
And thought that they were awfully nervous, and kept looking at everything and everyone that moved. Somebody banged a tray and their eyes went that way like something had exploded.
"You don't have to be worried," she said. They made hernervous. Like something was going to happen. "Calm down. It's just the waiters."
They looked at her, very sober. But they didn't stop watching things.
Just as serious and just as sober as they were in the game.
The waiter brought their drinks and they looked at him, all over, real fast, so fast it was hard to see them do it, but she knew they were doing it because she was watching.
Nothing like Nelly.
Uncle Denys talked about being safe in the halls. And got her two azi who thought the waiter was going to jump them. "Listen," she said, and two serious faces turned toward her and listened,azi-like. "Sometimes we can just have fun, all right? Nobody's going to get us here. I know all these people."
They calmed right down. Like it was magic. Like she had psyched them exactly right. She let go a little breath and felt proud of herself.They sipped their soft drinks and when the sandwiches came with all the extra stuff that came with them they were real impressed.
