Текст книги "About Last Night..."

Автор книги: Belle Aurora

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Текущая страница: 16 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

Chapter Thirty-Six

Mia

Mom talked about how the nice man who owned the local grocery store had a heart attack the week before, leaving his children to run it for him. They were nice kids, she said, kids who cared about their parents.

It was a stab at Harry and me, I was sure. And when Harry’s eyes met mine, he rolled them hard. Still, it wasn’t enough to make me laugh. Nothing could’ve made me laugh. I was still sore from the previous night, at Quinn’s hurtful words.

Mom wasn’t happy we only came to visit her once a week. “See,” she uttered, picking at the salad by her lasagna, “those kids know they only have so long with their parents. They know they have a duty to them,” she said in way of a guilt trip.

My heart started to pound. Mom didn’t even know what she was getting herself into.

“To go on leave from their own jobs and take care of the family business...those kids must really love their parents.”

Harry cut in. “We love you, Mom.” He grinned. “I’d take over the family business for you.” He picked at his lasagna, happy with himself. “If we had one.”

Mom shrugged then sighed. “You don’t even visit anymore. I guess my kids are just too busy for me.”

That was it. I stood so fast that my chair made a harsh whining noise, almost falling back. “Thanks for dinner, Mom. I’ve got to get going.”

“Mia,” she called out, stunned at my sudden departure. This behavior was not like me. Not like me at all. But I was hurting, badly, and I didn’t have time for an insecure woman’s hang-ups.

I walked a short distance then turned, glaring at my mom. “Fuck it.”

She gasped. “Mia! What has gotten into you?”

I took a calming breath then started, “You know why those kids like their parents, Ma?” I uttered pointedly, “Because they’re likable.” She blinked at me. I went on, “If I had a parent like that, chances are I’d be more likely to hang around. But unfortunately for Harry and me, you are what we are stuck with.”

Harry’s mouth gaped.

I was on a role and nothing could stop me. I looked at her with sadness in my eyes. “Something tells me that Mr. Sullivan wouldn’t make his children feel like failures for their accomplishments.” I barked out a laugh. “Harry works in an office he hates. And he did it, because you told him working in a bar was unacceptable, Ma. You know what you told him the week after starting the job you wanted him to have?” I looked at my brother. “You told him the hours were too long and he’d never find a girlfriend that way.” I smiled at him, although it trembled. “He did something awesome, and it still wasn’t good enough.”

Mom watched me closely, her face pink.

“I went to college to get a fancy degree, and you know what I did when I came home with it?” I shook my head. “I gave it to you. I had the stupid diploma framed and gave it to you. You know why? Because you wanted it.” My voice cracked. “Well, I got it for you, Mom. And you know what I got in return?” My eyes filled with tears of frustration. “I got a lecture on how expensive college was and that I’d better make use of those skills to make my money’s worth.” A fat teardrop fell onto my cheek. “You never even told me you were proud of me. You didn’t come to my graduation. You never even said congratulations.”

My mother’s eyes filled with tears. Emotionally, I was done.

“With every achievement, you sabotage our happiness by bringing us down. You know what you’ve taught me?” I closed my eyes, ashamed of admitting this. “To aim low. Because we aren’t worth more.” Then I stood taller. “But you know what?” I looked to my brother, who had dipped his chin, hiding his face. “Harry is worth more.” I pointed to my chest. “I am worth more.” My lips quivered. “And sometimes, Ma,”—the bridge of my nose tingled—“you are a shitty mother.”

Without another word, I turned on my heel and left my mother’s house, feeling worse than what I had when I arrived.

My apartment door had someone banging on it. I should have answered it. Instead, I stayed in bed and hid under the covers.

Whoever it was gave up, and I was thankful for the silence.

It took time, but I finally fell asleep, tears staining my pillow.

Quinn called the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that.

My phone was blowing up with missed calls and text messages. All of which I ignored.

There was nothing I wanted to say to him, but his messages were breaking my heart.

Quinn: I’m the world’s biggest asshole. Please answer the phone, Mia.

Quinn: Baby, please. I’m so sorry. I know you don’t want to talk to me and I get it, but please give me a minute to apologize.

Quinn: I feel like shit. I hate what I said and I didn’t mean it. I don’t even know why I said it. I hate myself probably as much as you hate me right now. But I’ll say it again. I’m so sorry, Mia. So sorry.

Quinn: Please, Mia. Talk to me.

Quinn: Okay, I get the message. I’ll stop, for now.

Then finally, the one message that cut me deeper than the others.

Quinn: I was jealous.

What was I meant to do with that? Was that Quinn admitting that he felt more for me? Or was that Quinn admitting he didn’t like people playing with his toys?

I didn’t know what to think, so I did what I did best. I pretended I was okay.

Harry came to my apartment the day after the Mom incident. I answered the door and slumped, ashamed of myself. “Hey.”

With his hands in his pockets, he attempted to smile. “Hey. Can I come in?”

I pushed the door open and stepped aside. “Soda?”

“Yeah.” I went to the fridge, got us both a diet soda, and sat on my beanbag. Harry sipped his drink, searched my face, and then asked what he was obviously dying to. “The other night with Mom…where did that come from?”

I shrugged. “Years of brewing, I suppose.” Then I added quietly, “When you bite your tongue, it builds up, you know? It’s like I didn’t have a choice, Har. It just spewed out.” His lip twitched. I asked, “How’s Mom?”

He blew out a breath. “Sad.” Shit. My chest ached with the tidbit. Harry added, “But I think she needed to hear it, and although I wouldn’t have done it in quite a loud and dramatic way, I think you did good.”

I was not expecting him to say that. My throat thickened. “You don’t think it was harsh?”

He nodded. “Hell yeah, it was harsh, but it was all true, and sometimes the truth hurts.”

I swallowed hard, looking down at my feet.

“What’s wrong, Mia?” Harry asked before adding quietly, “Someone took your smile.”

That was all I could handle. I dipped my chin, crumbling as my shoulders shook in silent sobs. Lifting a hand, I swiped at my eyes. “I’ve had a bad week.”

Harry made his way over, took my hand, and hauled me into his arms, hugging me tightly. “Minnie.” I rested my head on his shoulder and sobbed. “You just cry it out. Cry that sadness away.”

A few minutes of crying and I felt like talking about it. Pulling back, I reached for the tissue box. “Thanks for that.”

“It’s okay. You know, I don’t think I’ve seen you cry like that since Mark Wayne cut off one of your braids in seventh grade, which makes me think there’s a little more to this.”

He always knew when something was wrong with me. This was Harry. I could talk to him about anything. Couldn’t I? I tested the water to see if it would get weird. “You’re right.” I sighed, wiping my eyes with a tissue. “There’s this guy…”

His shoulders tensed and he gritted his teeth. “Wait, what guy? Who? Did he hurt you?”

I shook my head. “No. Well, yes, but not in the way you’re thinking.” I did my best to explain it. “I really liked him, Harry, and I think he liked me too. But he told me he wasn’t looking for a relationship. I went on a date the other night, and he was waiting for me when I got home. I think he just wanted to see me, and he did.” I winced. “Coming home from my date. With my date.”

I thought about Kit and how wonderful he was when I called to tell him I wasn’t ready to date again. He took it in good grace and offered me his friendship. He was a genuinely nice guy and I wished him all the best.

Harry looked uncomfortable, but not enough to stop me from continuing.

“He said some awful things, Harry. Mean things. Things said to inflict hurt. Things that I don’t think I can forgive. He keeps apologizing and saying he didn’t mean what he said, but I don’t know.”

Harry nodded slowly, processing what I’d just told him. “Sometimes men can be really stupid, Mia. It sounds to me like this guy saw you with another man and realized he was losing you, and he got angry about it. He probably said some things out of anger, and things said out of anger are designed to hurt. I’ve done it. Haven’t you ever said something you wish you could take back?”

Yes, I had. I’d done it just the other night with my mom. “Yes,” I whispered.

Harry smiled. “They say you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone, and it seems this guy of yours panicked. He reacted badly. Let me ask you this. Was him acting that way out of character?”

My response was immediate. “Yes, completely. I was shocked…and disappointed.”

“And you like him?”

My eyes filled with tears and I choked out, “I’m in love with him.”

My brother smiled at my declaration. “I’ve not seen you make a bad decision in your life, Mia. You’ve always had a good head on your shoulders. I think you should trust your gut. What does it tell you?”

“It tells me to forgive him. But not right away.”

Harry tipped his head back and laughed. “Okay, so let him stew for a while.” He stood, lifted a hand, and squeezed my shoulder. “As a man, I can tell you that we can be real idiots, but we’re not all bad. If you’ve found someone who you think is right for you, I’ll trust your judgment.” He walked to the door and I followed him. He stepped outside and we said our goodbyes. Just as I went to close the door, he called out, “Mia.” I looked over at him. He uttered a sincere, “I hope you work it out with your guy.”

I smiled at him and closed the door, leaning back against it.

Me too, Harry. Me too.

The next morning, I woke, showered, got ready for work, and stepped outside my apartment.

And almost smooshed the white box directly in front of my door.

I frowned at it, picked it up, and then brought it inside. Lifting the lid of the box, my eyes widened at the message frosted on the red velvet cake.

Sorry I was a dickhead.

Underneath the message was a vanilla-frosted cartoon-like penis. I couldn’t help but smile. Shaking my head, I chuckled lightly. Lifting my phone of out my pocket, I sent a text.

Me: You think you can win me over with cake?

His response came a minute later.

Quinn: No. Definitely not.

Then,

Quinn: Unless if it worked. Then yes.

A smile stretched at my cheeks.

Me: Well, it didn’t.

Quinn: But you’re talking to me. That’s more than I could have hoped for right now.

My smile waned.

Me: I’m not ready to forgive you.

His response was delayed.

Quinn: Okay, Mia. And I know you’re sick of hearing it, but I need to say it one more time. I am so sorry for what I said to your date. I’m sorry I hurt you. If I could take it all back, I would. I miss you, and I miss your laugh. I never want to see you look at me the way you did that night. It will haunt me for the rest of my life.

A moment later came,

Quinn: I’m not letting you go. I’ll fight my corner. You deserve for someone to fight for you.

It was too much. I turned off my phone, left it at home, and went to work.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Quinn

Candice stood in front of me, her lips quivering, blinking away tears. “You quit? Just like that?”

I pulled the mature woman into a tight hug. “It doesn’t mean I’ll never see you. I’ve agreed to still do some date work, but no sex.”

She sniffled and pouted. “But you’re my favorite. What am I going to tell your regulars?”

My chin rested on the top of her head. “Tell them I went and fell in love.”

Candy hugged me hard. “I hope she realizes what she’s got in you. She’s lucky to have you, Matty.”

I responded on a squeeze. “I’ve still gotta convince her that I’m right for her.”

She pulled back, smiling up at me. “You will. I know you will.”

“Thanks, Candy.”

I left DFT feeling better about myself, and better about the situation with Mia. She got the cake I ordered this morning. When she got home tonight, she’d get another surprise. I had an entire week of them planned out. And if need be, I would play dirty.

I would have Mia. She belonged with me. I knew this, because I was lost without her. I needed to be the man she came home to. I needed to be the person who she first saw in the morning, and the last she saw at night. I needed to be to her what she was to me.

I just needed Mia.

And I would prove it to her.

I arrived at the police department a little after three pm.

My heart was racing. Rejection was my biggest fear, but if I wanted a life with Mia, I would work for it. Being an escort was no longer an option. In my heart, I knew Mia would never ask me to leave my job, but what kind of man would that make me?

A creep. A jerk. A cheater. I didn’t want to be any of those things.

The last few days had been tough, but I imagined if this was how I felt, then Mia likely felt worse. The things I had said to her…

Jesus. How I wished I could take them back. But I couldn’t, so I would deal with the consequences. I was ready to tell Mia how I felt about her. It was unfortunate that it had taken me seeing her with someone else to realize I wasn’t ready to give her up, but life was funny that way. It never waited until you were ready for it. It simply dropped the bomb and you decided how to deal with it.

I loved Mia, and that was a big deal for me. I didn’t love easily. Furthermore, I was not the easiest person to love. She was the person who hung the moon in my sky. She lit the dark and made me want more than I was comfortable with. The funny thing was that she never asked anything from me, but I saw how she looked at me. It was the way I looked at her—with heart and soul, and completely invested in the other person.

The senior officer at the front desk stared over me. “You just gonna stand there?”

It broke me from my thoughts. I cleared my throat. “Sorry. I was wondering whether you could help me. I need some information.” I added, “I want to become a police officer.”

The man raised a brow. “How old are you, son? 30?”

I shrugged. “Thereabouts.”

He shook his head. “You sure? There are a series of tests you’ll have to undertake. Your knowledge of the state, federal, and local law needs to be near perfect.”

My face blanched, but he went on. “Then there are the physiological tests, as well as the grueling physical tests you’ll be put through.” He grinned. “They’re designed to push the limits, you hear?”

I nodded slowly. “I hear.” I straightened myself and stood taller. “What do I need to do?”

The man smiled, nodding. “That’s the spirit.” He took out a folder full of papers. “You can start by filling these out. Recruitment is every six weeks. We’re just about due. If I’m not mistaken, the next lot will be in ten days. If you get us what we need in time, you could start training in three weeks’ time.” I went to reach for the folder, but he held it away from me, his face stern. “You’re gonna have your ass handed to you. You know that, right?”

I had no preconceived notions that my time in training was going to be easy. “I know.”

He handed me the folder, and with a jerk of my chin, I was out of there and ready to sign my life away for some semblance of normal.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Mia

Home was becoming overly silent and somewhat overbearing. I needed to get out of the house, and there were only so many evenings I could arrive on Bill and Terry’s doorstep like a little lost puppy.

They needed time alone too. I felt myself overstepping boundaries. They assured me I was welcome anytime, and I know Terry wouldn’t say that if he didn’t mean it, but I felt awful, a little like a third wheel, as if they were babysitting me.

It had been close to two weeks after Quinn had said those gut-wrenching things, and although it still hurt, that hurt had been downgraded from stabbing pain to dull ache.

The morning he had the cake delivered to my door, I was surprised. Imagine my further surprise when I came home later that afternoon to find a huge bunch of flowers at my door. I had no idea what they were, but luckily, the small card attached explained they were purple hyacinth, and the particular color of the flower meant ‘sorry.’ The card also read: I’m an asshole. Please let me be your asshole.

I smiled to myself, brought the flowers inside, and pulled out my cell.

Me: The flowers are gorgeous.

Not a minute passed before I received a response.

Quinn: Not as gorgeous as you.

And every day after that, I received something at my door.

First came the bag of turkey jerky with a note that read, I’ve been a jerk, with jerk underlined three times over. Then came the card with a lollipop on the front that simply read, I suck. After that was an unexpected delivery of bratwurst from a local butcher, and spelled out in sausage was, Sorry, I was a brat. Then arrived the plush doggie with a card that read, I’m sorry. Can I come out of the doghouse now?

The very last gift was a box of Air Heads. The card attached had scribbled inside, Sometimes I can be a real airhead. Sorry!

With every gift, my smile returned. Not because he was spending money on me, but because of the thought being put into them. How could I not see how sorry Quinn was? The effort inside every delivery was enough to see he cared.

And so I went to work with a smile on my face. Of course, Ella could smell something fishy and waltzed over to my desk. I was glad that the bounce in her step had partially returned. What Rick did to her was not something she would get over easily, but she was trying.

She sat on my desk and whispered, “What’d he get you today?”

I handed her the box of Air Heads and, looking confused, she opened the card and read in silence. Her face turned to goo and she frowned over at me. Taking the box of candy, she hit me with it.

I flinched, stunned. “Ow! What the heck was that for?”

She glared at me, leaned forward, and hissed, “Would you just forgive him already? Jeez. You know how many women would kill to be in your position?” She sighed. “I know he fucked up, Mia, but he’s sorry. He admitted he was jealous. That in itself is a huge deal. Hell, after what I’ve been through, I’m the biggest skeptic out there, and I believe him when he says he’s sorry.” She eyed me curiously. “Don’t you?”

I nodded gently. “I do.”

The box of candy shook loudly as she brought it down over my shoulder again. “Then what are you waiting for? Call him!”

I blocked the next hit and warned her, “Ella, if you do not stop hitting me, I will pull that weave from your head and wave it around like a trophy.”

Ella pouted and I smiled. “I’m planning on calling him after the week is out. The day after the ball. Once I don’t have the stress of an event on me, I think I’ll be calmer. That’s a good time to do it.”

A slow smile spread across her red lips. “You know he loves you, right?”

My insides flipped about. “I don’t know about that. I know he likes me, but love? No, I don’t think so.”

She rolled her eyes and stood. “I’m not even going to bother arguing with you.” She asked, “You want a ride to the bar tonight?”

Friday night drinks had become a new thing for me, but I was liking it so far. I’d met a whole new department of Addison Limited, and they were pretty cool people. Not to mention the fact Nicholas had been in attendance.

I grinned. “Sure. You going to be my date tonight?”

She snorted and chuckled. “Oh, baby. You couldn’t afford me.”

My face twisted in mock-pain and I clutched at my chest. “Whoa, ouch. I’m gonna need some aloe for that burn.”

I turned to my computer when a wild idea took hold of me. I stood suddenly, needing a word with my boss.

The bar was full with people to the point of not being able to take a step without turning and apologizing to the person whose foot you’d just stepped on.

I returned from ordering drinks, careful to give myself enough room between people so as not to spill. It felt like a feat when I arrived at the booth without spilling a single drop. Ella looked down at her drink in awe. “Were you a barmaid in a past life?”

I took my straw into my mouth, nodding. “Yep. One of those busty Bavarian wenches who can hold eight steins at once. Although, my boobs probably drank more than the patrons did.” I shrugged. “Guess that’s why they kept me on as long as they did.”

Nicholas snickered along with Pip. Dave from marketing tipped his head back and roared with laughter, while Francine from accounting snorted. Ella smacked my arm, astounded at my dirty, dry wit. “Ha!”

The conversation came easily, and although Dave liked to flirt with me, I’d made it clear it wasn’t going to happen. He was harmless, in my opinion.

His brown eyes crinkled in the corners as he ran a hand through his sandy blonde hair. “Mia, when are we getting married?”

I feigned thought. “I don’t know. I think I’m free in October, three years from now.”

He winked, his smile spreading. “For you, I’ll wait.”

I rolled my eyes and sipped at my drink, smiling all the while. I turned to Nicholas and asked him how he was doing. He sipped his beer and leaned forward, closer, so he wouldn’t have to yell his response. As soon as he opened his mouth to answer, he caught sight of something over my shoulder and pulled back, disbelief written all over his face.

Peeking over my shoulder, I caught sight of her. I slid out of the booth and made my way through the crowd to meet her. She looked around anxiously until she caught sight of me. She sighed. “I thought I was too late.”

I smiled at Addison, who looked completely different than I’d ever seen her. She wore light blue jeans, ripped at the knee, a cream-colored tank, with white chic slip-ons. She wore no make-up, and her blonde hair was down, looking soft and freshly washed. A contrast to how she wore herself for work. “No, we’re just over here. C’mon down. What are you drinking?”

She ran a hand through her hair. “Something fruity, I think. How about a fluffy duck?”

We went to the bar and I put Addison’s drink on my tab. Once she had the frou-frou cocktail in her dainty hands, we made our way over to the booth. That was when she spotted Nicholas. She paused mid-step. “Oh. I didn’t know Nicholas would be here.” She swallowed hard. “Crap. This is awkward. I think I should leave.”

But Nicholas had yet to take his eyes off Addison, and he was looking at her differently, inquisitively. I watched him watching her, and decided for her. “No, he’s fine. Sit down. Take a load off.”

Ella, Pip, Dave, and Francine watched me bring over Addison in plain confusion. Nicholas continued to search her face, as if he was seeing her for the first time. I explained myself. “Hey, I invited Addison. I hope you don’t mind.” I said this pointedly, in a way that said, ‘If you have an issue with this, shove it wear the sun don’t shine, because she is staying’.

Nick was the first to speak. “Addison.”

Her smile faltered. Her voice trembled. “Nicholas, hi.” She looked around the booth and I knew she felt out of place. “Hello.”

He watched her so closely that I felt her squirm beside me. I was extremely grateful when he jerked his chin to the booth seat. “Sit. We’re just talking about the Maginty deal and what we can do to improve their outdated Christmas dinners.”

We all watched in complete silence, holding our breaths as to how she would react. Addison stood there a moment before breathing deeply then exhaling slowly. I took a seat in the booth and she sat beside me. Then she started, “Well, the first thing we can do is try to persuade them to update their logo. I think they’ve had the very same one for about fifty years.”

Nick’s eyes smiled. “I was just saying that.”

Addison blinked down at her hands. “Oh, sorry.”

Nick shook his head. “Don’t be sorry. What else?”

She sipped her fluffy duck. “I thought maybe Ella and Mia could find a new and exciting venue. They’ve always had it at the same venue. The problem is that the venue is about as dated as the company is. Ella and Mia work well together.” She smiled at me then at Ella. “It’s remarkable.” She grinned at him and said without thinking, “Sort of like how we work together.”

Nicholas immediately stiffened. The booth went silent and he downed his beer in one long gulp. “Goodnight all. Thanks for the nightcap.”

He stood and walked toward the exit. Addison lowered her head and hissed quietly, “Shit.” Then she stood and followed him out, leaving her drink at the table and the rest of us watching her back as she walked away, completely perplexed.

I took in the expressions of the rest of the guys. “Well,” I started. “That was fun.”