Текст книги "Hothouse Flower"
Автор книги: Becca Ritchie
Соавторы: Krista Ritchie
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Текущая страница: 12 (всего у книги 29 страниц)
< 22 >
RYKE MEADOWS
I can’t sleep.
Not when I know what’s going to happen.
She tosses and turns underneath her covers, kicking an invisible fucking enemy. And then around 5:00 a.m., she starts screaming. She shoots up, her eyes snapped open, and she thrashes, scurrying back towards the headboard and swatting at the air.
Her high-pitched shrieks blister my ears and instantly wake up Connor and Lo. I’m already on my feet, by her side while she stares off, focused on something that I can’t see, on something that’s not there.
She’s still asleep.
That’s the scary fucking part.
“What the hell?” Lo says, rising with Connor.
“Daisy, Daisy,” I try, but I know it’s fucking useless. She’ll wake up when she’s ready. I slide on the bed, kneeling, and I reach out to hold her, but her fist flies at my shoulder, punching me hard, like I’m the attacker.
“Get away!” she screams, fear pulsing in her big green eyes. “Leave me alone! Just leave me alone! I don’t want this! I don’t want this!” Terrified fucking tears pour down her cheeks.
Fucking A.
Lo rushes to the bed. “Daisy?! What the hell…” He climbs on the bed while she screams and cries, kicking back so quickly that the sheets bunch at her feet. She clutches the mattress beside her. Lo stands up on the bed and tries to pick her up underneath the arms.
She wails on him the moment he touches her, kicking and whipping her fists every which way. Lo raises his hands in the air in surrender and glances at me. “What the fuck?”
I stand up with him on the bed, towering over her. I smack his chest slightly with my hand. “She’s still fucking asleep.”
His brows furrow. “Her eyes are open.” He kicks a pillow at her and she freaks out again, tears running down her cheeks. My heart is racing.
“Daisy, you’re okay,” Lo tells her. “No one is in here.” She’s still unresponsive, and Lo turns to Connor who’s beside the bed, on the ground unlike us.
He wears an unreadable expression, watching Daisy’s hysterical fit.
I’m afraid she’s going to fucking hurt herself. Her nails start digging into her palms. So I grab her ankle and drag her back down onto the bed. She rolls over on her stomach like she’s crawling through barbed wire.
I bend down and flip Daisy onto her back. She thrashes. “No, no!”
I hate how wrong this looks. I want her to wake up so fucking badly, especially before someone hears her screams through the walls and calls the hotel staff.
I press my knees onto her legs, pinning her down. And I hold her wrists on either side of her body, and she screams bloody fucking murder at being trapped like this. I end up having to use one hand to cover her mouth, and she slaps me hard across the face. The sting burns, and I taste blood, my lip busting open.
Lo kneels and grabs her hand, not letting her go.
She’s stronger in these nightmares than she is awake because she’s driven by fear, an adrenaline rush that I can’t fucking begin to imagine.
Her tears well and redden her eyes. I lean forward, my face close to hers, my fingers digging into her cheek. “Wake up!” I shout. “Daisy, wake the fuck up!” Come on, sweetheart. Fight this.
“Her pulse is out of control,” Lo says, his voice flooded with worry.
I take my hand off her mouth and touch the top of her breast, her heart practically pounding through. She has to fucking wake up and calm down.
“No!” she cries like she’s dying, like someone’s killing her. Sweat beads her forehead, hot tears dripping off her jaw. “Please,” she cries, shaking her head from side to side. “Please…”
“Wake up,” I growl in her ear, combing her damp hair out of her face. Wake the fuck up.
“Be careful,” Lo tells me.
I’m not hurting her. Whoever’s tormenting Daisy in her head is. I glance over my shoulder at Connor. “Can you hand me a glass of water.”
Daisy is about to start screaming again, so I muffle her noises with my hand once more.
“You shouldn’t pour water on her face if she’s having a night terror.”
Lo glares at Connor. “You know what’s going on and you didn’t think to share?”
I stare hard at the mattress, ignoring the guilt that tries to fuck me over. You’ve known all along what’s going on, Ryke For months.
“She’s asleep,” Connor starts to explain.
“Just give me the fucking water,” I tell him. “I’m not going to drown her.” I’ve done this before.
Connor’s brows pinch as he scrutinizes me, and then he hands me her water bottle—I think more out of curiosity of what I’m about to do.
I pour some water on my free hand, and then stroke her hair out of her face again, cooling her down and hopefully waking her up soon.
She jolts at the new sensation and thrashes again. But I keep her pinned in the same position. Lo clasps her whole arm as she tries jerking out of his grasp. My muscles burn the longer I watch tears squeeze out of her eyes and fear wash over her face.
“How can she still be asleep?” Lo asks. “She’s looking at Ryke.”
“It’s a state between REM sleep and wakefulness,” Connor explains. His eyes meet mine. “How long has she had this problem?”
I shake my head, and Daisy’s leg slips beneath my knee, trying to fucking kick me again. I shift her back. “I wouldn’t fucking know.”
He doesn’t believe me. “You haven’t seen her like this before?” he questions with an arched brow.
“Why would you think I have?” I retort with a dark glare.
“Because you’re the closest person to her, and you don’t look surprised by this.”
“I am fucking surprised,” I retort.
Connor shakes his head, still disbelieving.
“I just fucking reacted, Connor,” I retort, my brother frowning between me and him. He’s trying to give me the benefit of the doubt, which is making this fucking painful. “Stop turning it into a thing.”
And then Daisy’s eyes slowly focus on me. Her tense limbs slacken, but the panic stays in her gaze.
I peel my hand off her mouth. “Daisy?”
She blinks a few times, and Lo releases her arm. I sit up off her body, and she touches her head in confusion. When she truly meets my eyes, her face breaks and she starts crying again.
I immediately lift her into my arms, and she hides her face in her hands. “They were here,” she says. “They were stabbing me—”
“Hey,” I say roughly, stroking the back of her head. “You’re safe. No one’s here but me, Connor and Lo.” She’s on my lap, in my arms, where she’s been so many times before.
But it’s fucking different now.
We’ve never been in front of other people. And we’ve never called ourselves anything other than friends.
Lo climbs off the bed. “Daisy, who’s them?”
Her hot tears wet my gray shirt, and she mumbles into my chest, “Bad guys.”
Lo frowns. “What’d she say?” he asks me.
“Bad guys,” I say. “It was a fucking nightmare.” But no matter how imaginary her dream was, to her, in those three minutes, it felt real, more so than any kind of bad dream I’m used to.
I understand why she’d rather not take the medicine at all, but she has to sleep some. It’s trading one bad place for another.
Daisy’s arms wrap underneath mine, clutching onto me tightly. My brother gives me a single warning look like, You can’t lead her on.
His concern is warranted. I would feel the same fucking thing if I was him in this situation. But no part of me wants to disentangle her from my body.
Still, I know I have to.
I whisper in her ear, “I’m going to tuck you into bed, and you’re going back to sleep.”
“What?” she breathes. She glances up at me with wide eyes, and she shakes her head. “No, Ryke. I can’t go back…”
“You’ll be fine,” I tell her, prying her arms from mine and setting her back against the mattress.
“No,” she cries. She springs up immediately. “No, please don’t do this…I need you—”
“Daisy,” I say her name forcefully. My lips find her ear. “You have to fucking try to sleep again.” I rise off the bed, and she hugs her legs and rests her forehead on her knees, sobbing.
I turn to my brother, my heart clenching, and I throw my hands up like, What do you want me to fucking do now?
His brows are furrowed in concern. “Daisy? What can we do? I can get Lily on the phone.”
She shakes her head and wipes her tears. “I’m sorry I woke you.”
While my brother keeps conversing with her, Connor suddenly rests a firm hand on my shoulder. “I need to talk to you,” he says quietly.
He looks angry. His deep blue eyes pierce me in accusation, and his fingers are digging into my skin. He rarely shows this kind of emotion—and he’s letting me see it on purpose.
He knows.
He knows I’ve been keeping her problems a secret, and he probably gathered that they stemmed from a traumatic event.
I don’t want to talk about her issues with him. “Maybe later,” I say, stepping out of his hold.
“Ryke, this is serious.”
“You don’t think I fucking know that?” I growl under my breath. I glance back at Lo who’s looking between us, but he doesn’t say anything and Connor and I shut down the conversation.
Lo hands Daisy a water bottle. She takes small sips, leaning against the headboard. “How many times has this happened?” my brother asks her.
“Not that much.” She rubs her eyes with the back of her hand. “It was just a nightmare.”
“Not according to the smartest guy in the goddamn room.”
“The world,” Connor corrects him, hiding his anger from my brother. “Being smarter than the three of you really isn’t that big of an achievement.” He pauses. “No offense.”
“I’m fucking offended,” I retort.
“Oh, sorry,” he says flatly. “I don’t really care about your feelings.”
Lo shoots us a look. “Now’s not the time for you both to go at it.” He takes the water from Daisy when she finishes with it. “Are you going to do something about your night terrors or whatever they’re called—or are you hoping it’ll magically go away?”
She smiles weakly. “Magic,” she says. “I’ve consulted with three blue fairies and Tinkerbell. I think they’ve got me covered.”
Lo glares.
“Joking,” she tells him. “I’ve been to a doctor. It hasn’t been as bad as tonight. I think with what happened at the runway the other day, my head as been all screwy.” She downplays the degree of her illness. I would believe her in this moment.
I know Lo does.
I know Connor can’t.
The facts that he just acquired disprove her words, and he can easily look past Daisy’s sweet-natured voice and bright smile. He’s talked to me a few times about Daisy being depressed—and if she needed to go see a therapist. He diagnoses people from afar and only fucking brings it up when he wants to.
Daisy rests her head on the wooden headboard, her shirt stained with sweat, her limbs sagging like she just ran a marathon. I watch her foot cramp and her calf muscle spasm, and she brings her leg to her chest and massages it herself with a wince.
Normally that’d be me.
But I stand at the edge of the bed, close to coming clean about everything right here. I just want to hold her. Even if I told my brother the truth, I can see Lo kicking me out of the room, tossing my bag in my face, telling me to get on a plane.
Like he said before, he let me into his life, and it seems like I went after his girlfriend’s little sister like a predator.
That was never my fucking intention.
Sure, I want to fuck her. But it’s more than that. It’s always been more than that.
I stay quiet and rub my jaw, so much taken out of me tonight. If I do right by her, I do wrong by him. I wonder if the only way to move forward is to unearth my past with my brother.
I don’t know if I’m ready for that shit storm.
I just want to forget with him—but I wonder who’s been the stronger brother all this time.
Lo has confronted our father. He’s worked out his feelings. He’s rebuilt a relationship with him while trying to stay sober.
I’m the one who can’t deal.
Maybe that has to fucking change.
< 23 >
DAISY CALLOWAY
“Ryke, what’s with the busted lip?” Cameras flash, and paparazzi swarm me. Mikey has his arm braced out, standing in front of me with his dirty blond hair and Bermuda shorts. Ryke grips my shoulder, guiding me towards the glass hotel doors.
“Did you get in a fight with one of Daisy’s ex-boyfriends?”
“Ryke, did your brother punch you?”
“What happened?”
They all ask roughly the same questions, and Ryke says nothing. A bruise has begun to form on his cheekbone from my thumb ring hitting him. I wish I could rewind time, shake my half-coherent body and tell myself to stop freaking out.
I’ve hit him before in a night terror, but not this badly.
Once we enter the sanctuary of the hotel, the noise dies down. Mikey spins towards me. “I’m going to grab something to eat before the buffet closes, but I’ll escort you to your room first just to be safe.”
“You can go eat now,” Ryke tells him. “I’ll watch her.”
Mikey looks to me for affirmation since, technically, I’m his boss. “Go,” I say. “Eat something yummy for me.”
“Squid.” He rubs his stomach in mock hunger.
Right now, that actually sounds delicious.
“Hey, stay outside!” a hotel concierge yells at a cameraman that opens the door. The lenses are pressed to the tinted glass, still trying to capture photos of us.
“We better go,” I say. We split from Mikey and wait for an elevator in the hotel lobby.
Ryke watches Mikey disappear and then nods to me. “It’s good that he’s here, even if he can’t keep up with you most of the time.”
A camera flashes in my eyes, a large body behind the lens. I blink, and my heart jolts. I look around for the source, but there’s nothing around us but people rolling their suitcases to the lobby elevators.
“Daisy,” Ryke says. He holds my face, trying to get me to look at him.
Sweat gathers on my forehead. “It wasn’t real,” I whisper. That flash was in my head.
He stares at me with more concern. “What’d you see?”
I take a deep breath. This has happened before. “I think it was when the cameraman broke into my room.” The incident was when I didn’t have Mikey, when all six of us were rooming together in Philly for a period of time. We were under a bigger spotlight than usual, and pictures of us were worth a lot of money.
“Can you tell me about it?” he asks, his hands warm on my jaw. I hold his wrist to keep him here, not wanting him to break away from me just yet.
“You know what happened,” I whisper. “You were there.” I’ve repeated it to my therapist before, and it still feels the same. It still feels like the past, but why does it constantly creep up to scare me? I want to let it go. I’ve tried to let it go, but it won’t let go of me.
“Just two sentences, Dais.”
As I remember the event, cold washes over me, and I shiver. He draws me closer to his body. I swallow hard and say, “He started taking pictures while I was sleeping, and I woke up from the flashes. I called you, and you arrived from across the hall and beat him up. The end.”
“Not the end,” he retorts.
All of my sisters and their significant others think it’s the end. It should be. The cameraman got fined for trespassing. Ryke bruised two knuckles. And my dad hired more security outside of the townhouse we were living in. It all turned out okay.
Except maybe my head.
“Oh yeah,” I continue with a weak smile, “after that, you used to watch movies with me every night.”
He rolls his eyes.
But he knows that one night he spent with me turned into a week and then a month. And we never really looked back. Every night, the television would play in the background, and I’d drift off. When I woke up, a blanket would be tucked around me and Ryke would be gone.
He says, “And then you moved back to your parent’s house and everything was a fucking mess.”
I had ten months left until I graduated prep school, until I could move out. I thought my mom would fight me on it—the idea of me living in an apartment alone so young. But she saw how much I wanted this.
It was her greatest kindness. One that I won’t ever forget. She let me live on my own, and in doing so, I was able to live close to Ryke. I could have stayed with Rose, but she was already so worried about Lily and Lo’s addictions. I knew if I lived with her, she’d be consumed by my problems too.
And I wanted her to live her own life. I didn’t want to be the center of attention or cause anyone more grief. Pulling Ryke into my mess was enough of a burden. I couldn’t imagine doing that to more people I love.
Ryke runs his thumb beneath my eye. “Those ten months when you moved back home—they drove me fucking insane.”
“Why?”
“It was ten months I couldn’t placate your anxiety, I couldn’t shield you from anything that came through your doors. I wasn’t a hallway away, not a floor, not a room. I was a half an hour from you, Dais.” He pauses. “And we both fucking know it was those ten months that changed you.”
Something happened that I don’t like to talk about. It’s the one thing that tightens my throat.
It was when my simple fear of nighttime turned into waking up screaming. It was when every horror in my life met me repeatedly in my dreams.
The elevator chimes. I flinch, but the noise cuts into the tension.
We let a family of five on ahead of us, the small children tugging their suitcases through the doors. I eye Ryke’s bruise again and my stomach flips. I slide the gold ring off my finger and put it in his hand. “Here. You can have this back.” I’ve already apologized for hitting him. And he did what he always does when I say I’m sorry for things I can’t control.
He glared.
Ryke appraises the ring, and his features darken. “I gave this to you. I don’t want it back.” He grabs my hand, and instead of just handing it to me, he slides it slowly on my finger.
We’re about to be alone together for the first time since the stairwell.
If the elevator would ever get here, that is.
“You didn’t give it to me,” I rebut. “I won it in a poker game.”
“Same fucking thing.”
I wear the ring a lot. I had it resized to fit my thumb, and the jeweler told me that the design on the front was an Irish coat of arms.
A family crest.
I never brought it up, but now that we’re together, I kind of want to. “You told me it wasn’t an heirloom,” I say while he watches me closely.
“It’s not.”
“It’s an Irish coat of arms, Ryke,” I say. “Your dad is Irish.”
He shrugs. “So it was my father’s. It’s not like it was passed down generations to fucking generations. It was his, and he gave it to me when I was eleven or twelve. I don’t even remember. It means nothing.”
“I know,” I say, “because people don’t put family heirlooms that mean something to them in poker kitties.” He’s so detached from his dad, and this proves it. He’s also so unlike Lo, who has an antique pocket watch from his father that he keeps in a safe. He brought it out once to prove to Connor that he owns something historic.
Ryke ignores his mom and dad like he’s trying to erase them from his life. Maybe it’s easier for him to just forget the past than be consumed by hurt and hate.
Ryke hits the “up” button again. He rubs his lips and then stares down at me with that swirling darkness. “Truth,” he says, “I don’t want you to take off the ring. I’ve fucking loved that you wear something of mine.”
I smile. Loved. I wonder for how long. We played that poker game on a flight back from Cancun.
I was sixteen.
I take a step towards him, despite being in semi-public. I scrutinize his bottom lip, cut from where I slapped him.
“Does it hurt?” I ask.
“No,” he says, looking at me with those brooding features, reminding me that of all the guys I’ve dated, no one has been as dangerous and mysterious as him.
The elevator chimes again. I drop my hand and slip inside, Ryke behind me. Thankfully an old couple with luggage waits for the next one.
We stand a few feet apart, and I realize that the fifth floor is just too close. We’ll have time to make out for maybe thirty seconds. He leans forward to press the button, but instead of hitting my floor, he taps the 28.
“Are we going for a ride?” I ask him, my lips pulling higher.
“You are.”
The doors shut, and he turns on me with this masculine power that draws me towards him in curiosity and need.
He’s my wolf.
And instead of biting me, he kisses my lips passionately, our bodies igniting as soon as they connect. I moan the second his tongue meets mine, and his hands possess my ass, lifting me around his waist. The air leaves my lungs. And I grip the back of his hair, yanking hard.
A deep, throaty noise escapes him.
“Ryke,” I cry, my head knocking into the wall as he pins me to the corner of the elevator. His kiss slows, eking out the tension that clenches my core. And I shut up, being consumed by his tongue, his hold, his experience.
His hand dips down between my legs, on the outside of my jean shorts. He cups that spot, and my legs spasm. Ahhh! The smallest nerves react like he drove his dick right into me.
I’m usually told to give hand jobs and go down on guys. I love that I now have choices, able to do whatever my mind wants. So I kiss his neck, lightly at first while his other hand rises underneath my shirt.
And then I suck deeply, clenching his hair with two hands. He stops going towards my breast, and he uses that hand as a support against the wall.
“Fuck,” he breathes.
I cry again.
His favorite word is so overused, but I melt every single time he says it like that. Our lips find each other, as though they can’t be apart for long. If he had more time, I wonder if he would go beneath my shorts.
I think he would.
He pauses so I can control my breathing. “What floor are we on?” he asks me.
I look over his shoulder. “Twenty-four.”
He kisses my cheek, which turns into our lips locking again. As soon as we part, he drops me on my feet, and he hits the fifth floor button. The elevator stops on the twenty-eighth floor, and unfortunately, a hoard of female models slips in, laughing loudly and wearing clothes to go clubbing.
They speak in Russian and barely acknowledge us.
Ryke comes back to my side. “So you like my hair?” he asks with raised brows.
I stand on the tips of my toes and run my fingers through it, knowing he’ll let me now. But even so, the tension winds between us, causing my body to curve towards him like a magnetic pull. We really need to find more time together. “It’s soft, and I love that it’s long enough for me to grab.”
His muscles tighten, and his eyes flicker cautiously to the Russian girls, who’ve begun to whisper even more, their eyes flitting to us. He grabs my hands, forcing them down to my sides. I frown, confused. But he suddenly speaks, not to me though. To them.
In Russian.
I can’t understand a word of it, but he has a lilt that matches theirs.
The tallest girl looks over her shoulder and laughs. “You make cute couple,” she says in chopped English.
Ryke replies back in fluent Russian, his eyes narrowed.
She nods, says something else in the same language, and then leaves with her friends on the twentieth floor.
As soon as the doors close, I punch his arm. “Why didn’t you tell me that you can speak Russian?” I knew he was fluent in Spanish, but Russian isn’t a language commonly taught in schools.
He leans his arm on the wall. “Shouldn’t your first fucking question be: what were those girls saying?”
I shake my head. He glared at the girls after we started talking in English, so I figured they must have been eavesdropping and whispering about us. “You accused them of listening to our conversation, didn’t you? And then she said something snarky back.” I smile wide and wag my brows. “Am I right?”
He tilts my chin up. “When did you get so fucking smart?”
“Didn’t you hear? It was my second wish when I fell upon a magical lamp. Be smarter than Connor Cobalt. He doesn’t know it yet.”
“Don’t pad his fucking ego,” he tells me. Connor’s ego is practically its own life force.
I run my hand up his arm, and then I keep it on the back of his neck. “Tell me,” I say with a playful smile. “Did you learn Russian in prep school or are you like a secret badass CIA agent?”
He draws back, any talk of his past like a repellent. But I’m curious. He can’t just speak Russian and act like it’s no big deal. “Yeah, I learned some at Maybelwood.” He shrugs. “I had an easy time picking up languages.”
That’s definitely not the whole story. “And?” I prod.
He struggles to open up, but after a long moment he says, “And when I was six or seven, my mom hired tutors. They were the ones that taught me.” He stares at the ceiling and then shakes his head. “I curse so fucking much that people assume I’m just an idiot, a good athlete, but a fucking idiot. And I don’t really care to prove anyone differently. There’s no point.”
I think it takes a really strong person to be that way, to not care what people think, even when you’re better than they say. I have no idea why he’d be satisfied with doing that. “Why Russian?”
“Because she wanted me to learn it,” he says. “I also know Spanish, Italian and French.”
I gawk. “Wait, what?” I punch his arm again. “You know French?!” Rose and Connor speak French, and he’s kept this knowledge to himself. “Oh my God.” I smile deviously. “You know what my sister and Connor have been saying this whole time?”
“Most of it is stupid.”
“Do they speak dirty to each other?” I’ve always been curious.
“Sometimes,” he says. “But when they do, I try not to fucking listen. Trust me.”
The elevator numbers blink from 10 to 9 to 8 in such a short period of time.
Ryke harbors so much inside his head, and he’s kept so much to himself through the years. He’s more solitary, more alone than I thought. Maybe he prefers it that way.
“Does Lo know?” I ask.
He frowns. “About what?”
“Russian, French, all of that.”
He shakes his head. “No. It doesn’t matter.”
“But…it makes you, you,” I say. “It’s a part of who you are, isn’t it?”
His jaw hardens. “It’s not a part I like to fucking remember, Daisy.”
Being controlled by his mom, he means. I think he chooses to forget so much from his childhood that it’s made him into some shadowy figure that’s just as tormented as his brother. I stand on the tips of my toes and kiss his cheek. “Thanks for telling me the truth.”
The elevator doors open, and I head out of them. He catches my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine as we enter the hallway. It was a quick, impulsive gesture, one that has my heart on fire.
