Текст книги "Fear me"

Автор книги: B. B. Reid

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Текущая страница: 20 (всего у книги 25 страниц)

Chapter Twenty-Five

I stepped onto the lawn looking around for signs of Dash’s vehicle. I spotted the gleam of the sleek silver car and hurried in that direction. I didn’t see signs of the tailing vehicle as I looked for Keiran. I had a good idea of where he might be.

I heard the sound of the ball hitting the concrete a split second before the swish of the net. I broke through the trees and spotted Keiran moving swiftly across the court. Even from here I could see him covered in sweat and his shirt clinging to his chest and arms.

He played as if in a trance and I realized that this was his way of hiding from the present and the past. He was using basketball as a defense mechanism to escape from himself. But who was the real Keiran?

“Keiran, stop!” He kept playing though I was close and loud enough for him to hear me. His moves were aggressive as if there was an opponent playing against him. He was in danger of injury at any moment if he kept it up.

I ran onto the court and ripped the basketball out of his hands just as he was going for a jump shot.  Desperate hands grabbed me up just before his lips descended on mine. I inhaled his sweaty, masculine scent that intoxicated my senses. The basketball fell listlessly from my hands in favor of his sculpted abdomen that heaved under my touch.

His hands cupped me under my butt, lifting me and I wrapped my legs around his hips and let him carry me…somewhere. His lips never left mine and air became inconsequential to the need to feel him take me.

My back was pressed against a hard surface and only then did he let me stand on my own; but when he started to rip away at my clothing I got an uneasy feeling so I began to push against his shoulders. However, that wasn’t enough when he continued to kiss me passionately. He seized my hands above my head and pressed them into the wall behind me.

“Keiran,” I managed to say around his plunging tongue. “Keiran, wait.” As much as I wanted him, I needed to stop him. He continued to ignore my protests and pressed his body harder against me. “Keiran, stop!” I bit down on his lip before ripping my mouth away.

He shoved away from me and glared at me through narrowed eyes. “Are you fucking telling me no?” I nodded and kept a wary eye on him. He looked as if he would pounce at any moment.

“I can’t let you hide behind sex anymore.”

“Let me?” he scoffed. “You think I need you to let me?”

“It’d be pretty hard to do without my consent, don’t you think?”

“I don’t hide,” he said, ignoring my question. He fixed his clothes and sat down on a nearby bench with his head lowered. “Why did you come here?” he asked but his voice was disinterested.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay. You were pretty mad and driving recklessly.

He shrugged and looked off into the distance. “It wouldn’t be the first time. I can take care of myself.”

“So can I,” I countered.

He turned his head and studied my face. “No, you can’t. You’re too sheltered. You don’t have a clue, girl.”

“And you do?”

“More than you would think. I am the monster you would hide under the covers from as a kid.”

“You were a kid then too.”

“I was never a kid, Lake. I didn’t have a childhood. I didn’t have parents or a family. I was a body used for selfish gains that hurt people.”

“What about your mom?” I asked with a frown.

“She wasn’t much of a mom. I hardly knew her.”

“And now? Who are you now?”

“I’m a hopeless fuck who is obsessed with a girl he still wants to hurt.”  I didn’t react to his confession. In truth, I didn’t know what to say or do. Obsession was a pretty powerful thing. How deep did his run?

A wind broke through the air and I shivered from the cold temperature, which he seemed to notice. “Let’s get you home,” he stated grimly.

* * *

I woke up the next morning to find Keiran gone. His side of the bed was warm which meant he hasn’t been gone long. Resigned to an early start, I let my feet sink into the plush carpet and made my way to the bathroom deciding that a hot soak was needed to relax my tired muscles.

While the tub filled with hot water, I reached for my bath salts and coconut oil and poured it into the rising water. Knowing that it would take a while to fill up the large, garden tub I left the bathroom to call Willow. Whoever woke up first usually called the other. We liked to torture each other that way.

“I’m going to visit grandma today. You up for it?” Willow sometimes came with me to Red Rock to visit my grandma. I figured today she might need an escape after dealing with Dash last night. Speaking of…

“Yes! When are we leaving?” Her voice sounded desperate and I frowned at the phone.

“Are you okay?”

“Tell you all about on the ride. So…the time?”

“Oh, uh. An hour or so?”

“Can’t make it faster?”

“Willow –”

“Fine. An hour it is then. But make it a quick one!” The line went dead before I could say anything else. Just when I thought Willow couldn’t get any crazier. I figured Buddy was home and driving her crazy but when she answered her voice sounded as if she had just woken up.

I walked back into the bathroom and looked over at the separate shower. I contemplated foregoing a soak to save time but my strained muscles protested when I lifted my shirt over my head.

I’ll just have to make it a quick soak.

I stepped into the steaming water and resisted the urge to jump back out when the heat pricked my skin. Goose bumps covered my skin as I sunk into the water. I quickly wrapped my hair into a messy, high bun and relaxed. Before long my eyes were closing in content and I forgot about my time constraints.

Minutes later I realized I dozed when a sound jarred me awake. My eyes flew open and I saw Keiran sitting on the edge of the bathtub, watching me. He was fully dressed in fresh clothing and looked well rested.

“Sore?” His voice sounded like liquid velvet melting over me. It felt better than the hot water and soothing salts.

“How did you get in here?” I asked instead.

“I swiped your key when you were sleeping and you didn’t answer my question.” I nodded my answer while his eyes raked over my nude body. “That’s too bad,” he muttered.

“Why did you come back?”

He shrugged and ran a hand through his dark hair, causing it to spike. “I wanted to be with you.”

“So why did you leave? You were afraid I would pry?”

“Are you going to?” He held my stare until I broke it. I released a slow breath and rested my head against the back of the tub.

“Not at the moment,” I stated and picked up my sponge. “I need to bathe…”

“Then allow me.” He sunk to his knees beside the tub and took the sponge from my hands. I sat there unsure, while he soaped up the sponge, leisurely. I watched his large hands grip the sponge that looked as helpless as I usually felt under their strength.

He reached for me and I sucked in a breath when he began washing me starting at my neck and methodically moving across my body, barely skimming my hot spots. My breasts began to tingle with anticipation from his neglect and I felt an ache spike from the hard points. His hand ran down the taut planes of my stomach and then shifted around slowly to my lower back before moving up and lifting me. I was now arching into his chest as he rubbed circles across my back before dipping below the water to my waist and coming back around to my lower stomach. I moaned and gripped the sides when a finger began teasing my belly button lightly.

“Easy,” he commanded softly.

My right leg was then being lifted out of the water and he hooked it over the tub side, resting my foot against his chest, leaving me open and exposed. The water instantly soaked though his dark blue shirt as he ran the sponge over my leg, starting at my foot and working down my thigh.

Unexpectedly, he tickled the back of my knee with his other hand, diverting my attention away from the hand with the sponge until it finally reached my throbbing center causing pleasure to explode up the length of the my body leaving me quaking its wake.

I vaguely noticed his head lowering and then his tongue swiped over the peaks of my breasts teasingly before he closed his lips over one and suckled. My hands clutched at his head desperately, needing to keep him there. I heard the low keening sound made deep in my throat and suddenly his hand was there, where I needed him most. He skimmed it briefly over my clit before plunging two fingers inside my waiting walls.

My hand followed him down, directing his movements where I needed it and together we worked to fuck me with his invading fingers, while he latched on to my other nipple with his hot tongue, giving it the same treatment.

My orgasm came swift and was over as quick as it’d come. In the background I could hear the trilling of my phone ringing. Shit. Willow.

I jumped up from the tub quickly causing Keiran to lose his balance and fall on his ass. He shot me a bewildered look and if I weren’t in a rush I would have found it funny.

“Sorry. I have to go. Willow is waiting for me.” I rushed from the bathroom for my bedroom to get dressed.

“Where are you going?” I heard his deep voice across the room and turned to find him standing in my bedroom doorway with annoyance plastered all over his face.

“I’m going to see my grandma in Red Rock.” He remained quiet and I continued getting dressed and then ran a brush through my hair before letting it fall in long waves down my back. When I was ready I brushed past him to leave but he caught my arm.

“I’m going with you.”

“What? No you aren’t. Why?”

Instead of answering me he led me to the front door and used my key to lock up. The chill of the morning air greeted me and I suddenly wished for Keiran’s body heat. I noticed that he’d switched cars as he opened his car door and all but threw me inside. I watched him saunter to the driver’s side through the windshield until he seated himself and was grateful when he blasted the heat. I hated how cold it got in the North but Keiran never seemed to mind, even forgoing a coat sometimes. It made me wonder where he grew up if he was so comfortable in this weather.

Minutes later we were pulling into Willow’s driveway so I hopped out barely letting him stop the car and rushed for the door. I rang the doorbell and waited. After a few heartbeats I heard footsteps moving to the door then it opened and a half naked, male body greeted me.

My mouth opened and closed when words failed me. I was pretty sure I resembled a brain dead fish. I was not expecting him to answer the door. He was shirtless and his jeans were left opened, revealing tanned skin and the hard planes of his upper body. I looked up into his smug face, noticing his ruffled, bed hair.  My shock turned into anger and I glared at him but he only smirked and moved aside letting me in.

I bounded up the stairs for Willow’s bedroom where I found her wrapped in bed sheets in the middle of the room and I took in her disheveled appearance. Her wide, sensual mouth was kiss swollen and passion marks decorated her neck and the top of her ample breasts and I was sure there were more under the sheets. She looked frustrated and close to tears and I immediately embraced her.

“I’m a failure to women around the world,” she cried out. Even in her stressed state, Willow still managed to find a joke in the situation.

“Why didn’t you tell me he was here? I would have come sooner.” I ignored the guilty feeling over what held me up.

“What would be the point? The damage was already done. Your phone call woke me up and when I saw him lying there beside me, last night came rushing back and then he woke up and we– we… Oh God,” she groaned.

That explains her not being dressed yet.

“What do I do, Lake? He will never let me go now.”

“Is that really what you want?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want. We can’t do this. We are from two different worlds.”

“It doesn’t seem to bother him.”

“But he’s using me. What happens when he gets tired of me?”

“Then he would be a fool.”

“I would get Buddy to kick his ass but the little shit has a man crush on him. They’re ‘the bestest buds’ now.” She rolled her eyes and I laughed. We both knew Buddy would never let anyone seriously hurt his sister. He adored her although he gave her a lot of shit. He may be younger but Buddy was fiercely protective.

“Where is he anyway?”

She shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. He isn’t around much anymore. My little Buddy bean is growing up,” she stated using her nickname for him that he hated.

“Well, let’s get you dressed. Grandma is waiting.”

“Yeah, we don’t want to keep that firecracker waiting too long. She will curse us both out.”

“Uh, more like all of us. Keiran is coming.”

She lifted an eyebrow curiously. “Oh, wow. Grandma Lane will eat him alive. I can’t wait!” She rushed out of the room and moments later I heard the shower turn on.

I looked over at Pepé, who was in the corner curled up on his pillow sleeping. I hoped the little guy slept through whatever occurred in this room. I remembered the depth of her screams when I walked in on them weeks ago. Poor guy was probably traumatized.

I left the room and headed back downstairs where I heard two male voices speaking low. I cleared the living room doorway where they were sitting and their talking immediately stopped as they looked at him.

I shot Dash a withering glance before plopping down on the recliner. I felt their stares on me but they remained quiet.

“Are you two done man-bashing already?” Dash joked. I snorted and pulled out my phone to text my aunt rather than answer him.

However when he stood up and headed for the stairs my attention diverted back to him. “Where are you going?” I questioned, hostility dripping from my voice.

“Bro, get your woman out of my business,” he laughed. I ignored his insinuation that Keiran could control me even though we both knew he did.

“Leave her alone.”

“I’ll never leave her alone. You of all people should know that.” His eyes flicked to Keiran and back to me, suggestively.

“She doesn’t want you, Dash.”

“And yet she hasn’t told me no,” he grinned and I hated his cocky attitude.

“You could be the man you claim to be and give her what she wants.”

His entire demeanor changed in a flash. I watched his eyes harden and his jaw clenched leaving behind traces of the easy-going guy.  “I’m not interested in what she think she wants. But I do know what she needs and I’ll be the one to give it to her. The rest doesn’t matter.”

Chapter Twenty-Six

“I still don’t understand why you needed to come,” Willow griped from the backseat. Willow and I were finally on the road, heading to Red Rock plus two.

“Because it upsets you so much. You know…we were friends for a short time but when did you get so bitchy?”

“Right around the time your dick started showing…and I don’t mean the one between your legs.”

“Ssss, ouch. You burn me, baby. You burn me.”

If they kept up the bickering then I was in for a long ride. Keiran had yet to say a word to me since we left my house. I could tell he was pissed but I didn’t know what for and told myself I didn’t care. I peeked at him in the driver’s seat but his face was unreadable.

It was at least an hour and a half drive ahead of me with a bickering couple and a brooding lover for company. I pulled out my iPod and played the first song in the cue.

My favorite song, The Sweetest Thing, flowed through the tiny buds of my headphones. Nice.

 

* * *

We pulled onto the flowery estate of Whispering Pines an hour later and only then did I remove my ear buds. Sometimes I begrudged my grandmother the peaceful hideaway, although I could do without the smell of Ben-gay and antiseptic.

On these visits, I made sure to keep my appearance as close to the pictures my grandmother had in her room as possible. I was really young when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s so she still associated me with the image of the younger me. During each visit I brought her a new picture of me to make it easier. She also kept pictures of Willow since she often came with me.

“I need you two to stay away for a moment. She doesn’t know you so I don’t want to alarm her. She likes to take walks so I’ll bring her out so she can feel more comfortable out in the open.”

“Sure thing. I can’t wait to meet you in sixty years. I bet she’s hotter,” Dash grinned.

“You can’t seriously be considering flirting with a seventy-year old woman?” Willow’s voice dripped with disgust and a hint of jealousy.

“That depends on if you are seriously going to be jealous of a seventy-year old woman,” he countered.

And the bickering begins again.

I looked at Keiran who nodded his head once and headed over to a chess table currently occupied by an elderly man with a thick mane of snow-white hair.

I grabbed Willow and pulled her to the entrance to avoid another nauseating session of foreplay with words.

“Ugh, he just bothers me so much,” Willow groaned while I signed into the front desk before making my way to grandmother’s room.

“He doesn’t bother you, Willow. He affects you.”

“The difference O’ wise One?”

“His effect on you is only possible because of your feelings for him.” I pushed open the door while she sputtered and huffed. My grandmother was sitting by the window gazing out onto the front lawn and I wondered if she saw when I arrived or more importantly, who I arrived with.

“Who are those strapping young men, you two gals rode in with?” she asked without turning her attention away from the window. I had no doubt of who had her so transfixed.

“Strapping? Gals? Grandma Lane you get older every time we see you,” Willow jokingly stated.

            “Ha! I made be old but I still got it and don’t you forget it. If I was just a few years younger…” She ran a hand through her hair suggestively and I couldn’t hold in the bouts of laughter any longer. I didn’t get two steps inside but she already managed to make me smile and laugh all in one.

“Just a few, huh?”

“You girls come in here and let me look at you.” She turned away from the window to face us, finally and gave us a stern look.

We moved forward to the bay window where she was seated and each hugged her before taking a seat. “So why are they out there in the cold and not in here with you?”

“I didn’t want to alarm you because –”

“Yes, it would be most displeasing not to remember such fine, looking men. I’d never thought I’d see the day when you two would give in and get a man. I thought…spinsters for sure.”

“Is that so,” I laughed deeply.

“I’ll have you know –”

“Willow, Pepé does not count as a male friend. Though handsome, I meant someone of your own species.” She gave her an admonishing look that shut Willow down.

“Yes, ma’am.” She hung her head low and I tried not to laugh at her expense. Willow and Grandma Lane together was a trial.

“Now. Tell me all your news and make it quick. I want to meet those two.”

We spent the next twenty minutes or so catching her up on school and college plans. You know…the safe topics that people always stick too when dealing with a relative.

After catching up, Willow excused herself to get Keiran and Dash from outside leaving me alone with my grandmother for a few moments.

“So how is my daughter?”

“Good. She should be returning from her book tour on Monday and plans to come visit you by the end of the week.”

“Good, good. I need to get ahold of that wayward child of mine. Leaving a seventeen year old alone for so long.”

“I’m fine. Aunt Carissa trusts me.”

“Yeah well she shouldn’t. You’re a fine young woman, Lake. You are incredibly beautiful and smart. I may not remember much these days but I do remember what it was like to be seventeen and so should she.”

She looked at me knowingly with a mix of disapproval and empathy and I wondered just how much I was giving away.

“I can see it in your eyes, dear. When you walked in here you weren’t the same Lake. I assume it’s because of him?” She nodded toward the guys who were still sitting at the chess table engrossed in a game with the elderly man.

“Who?”

She shot me an impatient look for playing dumb. “Mr. Tall, Dark, and Brooding.”

“Yes, but not in the way you think.”

“And what way is that?”

“We…weren’t always friends. Even now…” I didn’t know how to explain to my grandmother that Keiran used to hate me as much as he hated himself or that I was sleeping with him.

“I see,” she sighed. “Why does love always feel like a battlefield?”

I blinked twice to clear my head and replay what she just said. “Grandma, did you just quote Jordin Sparks?”

She looked at me indignantly. “What? I’m hip.”

“No one says hip anymore.”

“It’s cool. I’m cool.” She threw up the peace out sign and I was done.

My stomach felt like it had caved in and I couldn’t seem to bring air into my lungs. I was curled into a ball at my grandmother’s feet, clutching my stomach and that is how they found me when the three walked in.

“Someone please get my foolish grandchild off the floor please.”

Dash reached for me but stopped at the look Keiran gave him. He picked me up and placed me back in my seat.

“Oh my…” My grandmother whispered softly. She was watching Keiran and Dash closely.  No doubt taken aback at the possessiveness Keiran just displayed. Her hand fluttered up to her neck before discreetly smoothing her hair. “Such fine, young men indeed.”

I briefly wondered if she might have been a cougar in her younger years.

“How old are you, young man?” She directed the question at Keiran.

Yup. Definitely a cougar.

“Eighteen,” he answered before kneeling down on one knee and taking her frail hand within his much larger hands. “It is nice to meet you.” It was a smooth move made to charm that both surprised and annoyed me. I was so going to disown her if she fell for it.

“Likewise.” Her smile was bashful and lit up her face clearly enjoying the attention.

“Give me a break,” Willow muttered.

“Hush and you might learn something,” she berated and shot her a scathing look. She “Tell me, what are your intentions with my granddaughter. She’s never had a boyfriend, you know.”

“Yes, ma’am. I am aware.”

“And did you have anything to do with that?”

The corner of his mouth lifted in a half grin. “I might have.”

“Why?”

“Because she’s mine.” Any moment now the ground would disappear from beneath my feet and I could escape this nightmare.

“Is that so?” She regarded him curiously before seemingly deciding something. “They say there is a thin line between love and hate. Do you know what that means?”

“No.”

“It means that two people are too dumb and too blind to know the difference.”

He cocked his head to the side. “So what should we do?”

“Get your shit together, man. And take care of my Lake or leave her alone.” Well I’ll be damned. She didn’t fail me after all.  She turned at the sound of Dash snickering and lifted an eyebrow. “Same goes for you, pretty boy. I see the way you look at Willow and the way she tries to avoid you. I pretty sure your mother told you at least once that there would one day be that special woman one day who wouldn’t be fooled by your bullshit.”

“I’m uh, sure there was a time or two.”

“Smart woman. Are your parents still together?”

“Yes, ma’am though she threatens to divorce him often.”

“I’m sure. You come from money, don’t you? I can smell it on you.”

“My dad does okay.” Dash shrugged nonchalantly but I could see that the question bugged him.

“But not you?”

“It’s his empire. I’m just a freeloader until I can earn my keep.”

“So there is something to you other than your looks.”

“I like to think so.”

“Yet, she still won’t give you a chance…” she whispered knowingly. He averted his gazed at Willow with longing heavy in his eyes before his jaw hardened in anger.

“No. She won’t,” he stated while his gaze remained on Willow.

“So you’re going to force her, is that right?” Her blunt question threw us all for surprise. Dash’s eyes flew back to Grandma Lane while Willow shifted uncomfortably. He met her stare but rather than deny it he remained silent. “I should hope that if we meet again, that I will have a better impression of the two of you. Don’t let me down.”

I noticed the fatigue setting in and figured it was time to end our visit so she could rest. “Guys, I’ll meet you at the car. I just want to say goodbye to her.”

The three of them left the room after saying good-bye and I helped my grandmother over to her bed. She must have really been tired because she didn’t fuss over the help as usual.

“Thank you dear. There is nothing like old age for the muscles.”

“It seems to make you feistier too.”

“Now don’t go getting your knickers in a bunch. Those boys needed to be brought to heel. If only your father was here to meet that man of yours.”

“Why is that?”

“Because those two couldn’t be more opposite. Your father was a gentle soul. Both him and your mother. They would probably faint if they knew their baby girl was in love with a guy like him.”

“We never said –”

“Just because you haven’t spoken it doesn’t mean you don’t feel it.”

“I don’t understand much of what I feel or think these days.”

“Honey… that is just your heart holding on to what your brain is saying you can’t have.”

“So which should I listen to?”

“Whichever feels right. You don’t need to understand it. Trust in yourself. That’s all you can do.” She closed her eyes, fatigue taking over so I tucked her in and rose from my chair.

I was placing the picture I brought with me on her nightstand when I noticed a photo of my mother that wasn’t there before, resting on the wooden top. She was dressed in a pretty sundress, her blonde hair falling around her shoulders and I could tell it was a summer picture.

She was standing in front of the beautiful brick house I once called home…and holding a baby I knew to be myself. Her smile alone gave the picture life as she looked down at me clutching the top of her dress and looking back up at her, a grin expanding my chubby cheeks.

By the age of eight I had plenty of memories of my parents and in none of them could I ever remember not feeling loved. I remember my mother crying the day they left. My father almost canceled the entire trip.

“Did my parents leave me?” I asked before I could rethink or stop myself.

“They will never leave you, Lake.” The pain in her voice was evident. She was fighting to hold onto to her memory while I had long since let them both go. Though she never talked about my mom either I know she misses her. I never thought about how hard it must be to lose a child and not know why.

“So where are they?” Everyone was so sure that my parents didn’t bail but there was never any sign of foul play. How could they just vanish?

“I wish I knew.”

* * *

Once we were through the door of my house after returning from Whispering Pines, I turned on Keiran who stopped short, just inside the door, and looked at me curiously. “Stay away from her,” I said simply.

The entire ride back I battled feelings of regret. I had exposed my grandmother to Keiran. Now he had one more person to use against me if he chose. He now knew who she was and where she was and worse…she wouldn’t remember who he was.

He wore an indifferent look on his face when he shut the door. “Are you going to give me a reason not to?”

His lack of reassurance was unexpected and dangerous to my peace of mind. “Keiran this is my grandmother! She’s old and helpless. How can you even think to –”

“I wasn’t. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t, so I won’t tell you otherwise.”

“But what reason could you possibly have to go after her?” Out of the only two people in this room, Keiran was the dangerous one yet all the hostility and anger radiated off of me. His nonchalance for human life was chilling.

“I want you to stay away from my past. I know you’re still digging but it ends now.”

“Where is this coming from?”

“I’ve asked you before. I’m telling you now.”

“Just tell me whatever it is that you don’t want me to find!” I yelled, losing patience but he was gone before I finished and the sound of the front door slamming was my only answer. I slid to the floor in defeat when I realized that Keiran would never open up to me.