Текст книги "Touch Me Not"

Автор книги: Apryl Baker

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Текущая страница: 9 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

Adam opened his mouth and started to sing along to the lyrics. Nikoli stared, open-mouthed. Boy Wonder had a decent voice. Lily laughed at Adam’s antics as he danced around the living room. He tossed her the remote control, and she started to sing with him, belting out the song. Their voices blended well, and it was obvious to anyone they’d sung together a lot.

His mouth went a little dry when Lily stood up and started to dance with him. The next song that came on was “Worth It” by Fifth Harmony. Her dance turned from fun and flirty to sensual and just a little dirty. Oh damn. His eyes followed her hips as they swayed and grinded.

Fuck. She said she loved to dance, but…fuck. His mouth watered when she went down and her hips did a little circle on the way back up. He barely suppressed a groan when she did some kind of wicked shimmy. Where did the woman learn to dance? If she kept this up, he was throwing them all out, and Lily was going to get her next lesson in controlling her fear. Fuck, he was hard. Glancing up, he caught Luther staring and punched him in the arm. “Eyes up,” he growled.

Nikoli swung his own eyes back to Lily and noticed Adam had gotten closer to her, dancing, his hips insinuating, grinding against hers, and a stab of jealousy struck him. What the hell? As much as he tried to deny it, the closer Adam got to her ass, the more he wanted to beat the little shit. Lily hadn’t noticed how close Adam was to her. She was having fun, and Nikoli moved closer, ready to intervene if necessary.

Lily laughed to herself when she caught Nikoli almost drooling. He’d tortured her for two weeks, and now it was her turn for a little payback. His eyes followed her hips, watched her ass bounce to the rhythm of the song, and she smiled, turning and moving with the grace of a cat.

Someone moved against her and she stilled, the song dying. Adam. She knew it because Nikoli looked furious. Her muscles tensed and she worked to control the tremors that started in her hands. Panic started in the pit of her stomach, and when Adam shifted his body, coming fully against her, his arms encircling her waist, she couldn’t stop her reaction. She jumped away from him and backed up until she hit the kitchen island. Eyes wide, she stared at him and fought to gain control.

He looked hurt, but dammit, he knew not to touch her. Her breathing sped up and she sank down to the floor as the panic attack took hold. She tucked her head between her legs and tried to breathe, tried to remember no one could hurt her.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Nikoli roared, and she winced. She couldn’t breathe. Oh, God, she couldn’t breathe. She felt more than saw Janet hovering. Janet saw her have one of her attacks last year when Brian tried to hug her after she’d helped him pass his English class. He’d been so sorry, when he’d done nothing wrong.

“I thought she was getting better,” Adam said quietly.

“She was.” The anger in Nikoli’s voice was deafening. “If you’ve set that back, I swear…”

“Nikoli,” she whispered and hoped he could hear her.

He was there in an instant, kneeling. “Milaya, be easy. You’re safe.”

His voice sounded calm and soothing, but when his fingers grazed over the top of her head, she couldn’t stop the whimper. “Don’t, please.” She couldn’t. His touch right now only set off panic. “Don’t touch me…I can’t…I…”

“Shh, katonyac, I’m not going to touch you.”

Lily saw him stand and stalk over to Adam. He grabbed him by the front of his shirt and hauled him close, his fist rearing back to strike.

“Don’t,” she whispered, tears pooling in her eyes. “Please don’t, Nikoli.”

She lifted her head enough to see his arm pulled back, the muscles so tight, they looked ready to snap. Instead, he threw Adam like he was a rag that you tossed in the kitchen sink.

“Get out, all of you.”

She heard Janet protesting, but it was useless. He emptied the room and walked over to the radio to turn it down. He didn’t cut it off, just lowered the volume. Then he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and sat down in front of her, a good foot between them. He set the bottle of water down where she could reach it.

“Easy, dushka,” he murmured. “You’re safe.”

Her lungs felt like they were closing in on her, and her vision got blurry. “I…I can’t breathe,” she gasped.

“Close your eyes,” he told her, his voice calm. “Listen to the sound of the music and don’t think about anything but the words to the song. Sing them in your head, dushka. Just listen to the music and relax.”

Lily closed her eyes and listened to the song that was playing on the radio. John Legend’s “All of Me” drifted through the room. She let the soft melody invade her mind and began to hum along. Her breathing slowed down as she hummed along to the lyrics. The song itself was soothing, and she started to relax.

Her eyes popped open and she looked at Nikoli in surprise. The panic was still there, but she could breathe. How had he known to do that?

“Do you remember I told you my dad was in the army?” he asked and continued when she nodded. “He has PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder. He used to have panic attacks all the time after he came home from his last assignment. It was right before he sent me and Callum to live with our uncle. My mom used to calm him down with music. I thought it might help you too. Is it helping?”

She nodded. It was helping. Her body was still stiff as a board, but her breathing was almost normal. She felt embarrassed too. She’d thought she was getting better, but all it took to send her scurrying away like a coward was a simple touch from Adam. He’d tried to wrap his arms around her, and that was it. Full blown panic mode kicked in, and she’d run.

“Hey, hey, no crying now, Milaya,” Nikoli soothed when he saw the tears falling from her eyes. She wiped them away, but couldn’t stop the tide.

“I’m sorry.” She hiccupped.

“Sorry? What do you have to be sorry for?”

“You’ve been working so hard to help me, and it’s not working. I’m sorry you’re wasting your time.”

“Hey, now, dushka, getting you better isn’t something that is going to be accomplished in a week or two, or even in a month. We can take this as slow as you need to. I’m not upset that you had a bad moment. Boy Wonder shouldn’t have just up and grabbed at you. You weren’t expecting it, and that’s why you got scared. That’s going to happen, Lily, but you are getting better. Don’t doubt that.”

“What does dushka mean?” she asked. She always forgot to look it up.

“Nope, Lily Bells, I’m not telling.”

She shook her head and sat up, reaching for the water bottle. She took a cautious sip. Last time this happened, she’d thrown up. She had no desire to puke all over Nikoli’s new furniture, especially after scolding Luther.

“You are not what I expected,” she murmured after a minute.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you are, but you’re different too.” She thought about how to word what she wanted to say. “You’re brash and you have this fuck off attitude, but you’re also kind and patient. I didn’t expect that from you.”

Nikoli watched the confusion consume Lily’s expression and had to admit he was just as confused as she was. Normally, he did have a fuck off attitude and would go on, but not with Lily. Sure, he wanted her in a bad way, but he also had this inane urge to help her, to give her back everything she’d lost. He couldn’t explain it, but Lily mattered to him. In just two weeks, she’d gone from a fuck bet to someone he cared about.

“Don’t say that out loud.” He laughed to cover his own emotions. “I have a reputation to uphold. Now, what do you want for dinner? I’m starving. I’m going to feed you and then take you home.”

“What about the furniture?”

“Don’t worry about it. Luther and I will get the rest of it up later tonight. Now, what do you want to eat?”

“Cuban?” she asked, her voice hesitant.

“Sure. Joe’s always happy to see you come in. You go on and get cleaned up. I’ll deal with everyone outside, okay?”

She nodded and stood up. He watched her until she closed the bathroom door and then headed out to talk to everyone. Damn Adam. Boy Wonder had to always go and fuck everything up. No more.

They all waited outside, grouped around the U-Haul. He went straight for Adam, but Mike blocked his access.

“Take it easy, man. You do him any damage and Lily might not forgive you. She loves the idiot.”

“I’m not going to hit him,” Nikoli promised. Mike didn’t budge. Smart man.

Adam glared at him from angry and belligerent eyes. The man was so jealous he couldn’t see straight. It was a feeling Nikoli himself was becoming accustomed to. “You fucking go near her again, and you won’t walk away from it.”

“She’s my best friend.” The anger rolled off Adam in waves.

“Then why the fuck would you do that?” Nikoli exploded. “You know how she is.”

“I’ve seen you touch her,” Adam said through clenched teeth. “I thought she was okay, that she was better…”

“She’s not better!” Nikoli interrupted. “She only lets me touch her because she trusts me.”

“And she doesn’t trust me?” Adam shouted.

“Obviously not,” Nikoli yelled over Mike’s shoulder.

“Calm the fuck down!” Luther intervened before Adam could say anything. “It was a mistake. Let’s all just calm down and move on.”

Nikoli snapped his mouth shut, his fist needing to hit something, Boy Wonder’s face his first choice. Luther was right, though. As angry as Lily was with Adam, she did love him. He’d been her best friend since she was a little girl. For that reason, he wouldn’t screw his face up.

“Stay the fuck away from her,” he warned, his voice hard. “She needs to heal, and she can’t do that with you acting like a jealous fool.”

“I’m not jealous of you,” Adam denied hotly.

“You’re acting like a jealous ass, Adam,” Mike piped in.

Adam shot him a glare, but kept his mouth shut.

“I’m taking Lily to eat to try and calm her down,” he said and turned to go back inside. “Mike, keep him the hell away from me and from Lily, or I won’t be held responsible for what happens to him.”

He left them with that and went to check on Lily.

***

Joe’s was packed as always, but he managed to squeeze them into a booth near the back. It was a little more private than some of the tables where they’d been seated when they came here, and Lily was grateful. She wasn’t up to having everyone stare at her. The lighting back here was dimmer, so it was a little harder for people to see her splotched face.

She looked around and settled into the booth. The warmth of the place always relaxed her. The warm tones of the wood and the subtle touches of the Cuban culture gave the place a relaxed, fun feel. Joe’s booming voice as he greeted people made her smile. He’d taken one look at her and leveled a baleful expression at Nikoli, who just shook his head and demanded a table.

“Tell me about Joe,” she said softly, watching him move around the restaurant.

“What about him?”

“How do you know him?”

“I eat here,” he said, his eyes not meeting hers.

She gave him a “duh” look. “Yes, but how do you know him?”

He didn’t want to get into this, at least not tonight. It might scare her. Not that he was hardcore into the lifestyle or anything, but she’d had enough of a scare already. “Does it matter?”

“Yes,” she told him. “I remember the first time we were here, the two of you seemed so…territorial almost. It made me curious.”

“Joe took me under his wing when I first came to Boston,” he said after a minute. Lily was going to keep asking, might as well tell her. “He and I share the same kind of needs in the bedroom.”

“Oh my God, you’re bisexual!” She clapped a hand over her mouth, her expression so shocked it would have been funny if she hadn’t been staring at him, a little horrified.

“No. I. Am. Not!” Nikoli spewed the words.

She just stared at him, eyes wide. “It’s fine if you are, Nikoli.”

“Of course it would be fine,” he said, his voice low. “There’s nothing wrong with it, but I’m not into guys.”

“Hmmm…”

“Look, I’m serious, Lily. If anyone wants to make that life choice, that’s their call. My brother Connor is bisexual, so trust me, I’m fine with anyone who makes that choice. It’s just not one I’d make.”

Wow. Lily hadn’t expected that. Or that he’d be so Zen about it either. “That’s cool your family supports his choice.”

“I didn’t say that,” he said, a wry smile decorating his face. “My brothers and I are close, and while all of us may not agree with his choices, we do support it. My parents and my grandparents? They were all raised Catholic, and if they knew about Conner’s choice of partners, they wouldn’t be so happy.”

“I know you said you supported him, but how do you feel about it?” She was curious. He’d sounded so outraged when she’d accused him of being bisexual.

“He’s my brother,” he said after a minute. “I want him to be happy, and it doesn’t matter to me who he’s with, as long as he’s happy. Right now he’s in a relationship with a girl, but who knows, a couple months from now he might be banging some dude. What do I care, as long as my brother is happy?”

Here was another facet to the manwhore she never suspected might exist buried under that fuck you attitude. He just kept surprising her.

The smile that broke across Lily’s face made him stop breathing. Her entire face lit up like an angel shining her grace upon him.

“So back to Joe,” she said, her smile still in place. “Where did you two meet? Here at the restaurant?”

“No, I met him at Bastian’s,” he continued. “It’s a sex club.”

She didn’t looked shocked at that, which irritated him.

“Joe saw that I needed control in sexual situations, but back then, I wasn’t so good at it. I fumbled a lot. Joe took me under his wing and taught me how to have that control and still make sure the woman came out as satisfied as I was.”

“So, what he and you…” She trailed off and wiggled her eyebrows at him.

“No!” he hissed. “I’m not into men. I already told you that. They don’t do a thing for me.”

“So then what did he do exactly?”

“He and I shared women,” Nikoli told her. “He showed me how to control the situation, how to be the person I am in the bedroom today. He showed me how to be dominant and gain submission. Some of the things we’ve seen at Bastian’s…” He shook his head, disgusted. “Neither Joe or I are into pain. I mean some people are, and that’s fine if that is what they need, but I would never hurt a woman. It gives me no pleasure. It’s why Joe decided to help me. He saw that I was struggling with how to be dominant without hurting someone. We’ve been friends since that first night, but we’ve been like brothers for a long time.”

“Ah, here is my beautiful girl,” Joe’s voice interrupted them. “Now, tell me, what has Nikoli done to cause my girl to cry?”

Lily looked up to see the concern and the anger in Joe’s face. She wondered what was going through his head. He seemed so upset she’d been crying. She and Nikoli had been in together several times over the last few weeks, and Joe had taken to calling her his girl. It always rankled Nikoli, and now she was beginning to see why. They’d shared women before. What did that say about his feelings for her? Did he even have any?

“Nikoli didn’t do anything,” she said. “I was upset about something, and he made it better.”

“A soul as beautiful as yours should never have cause to cry,” Joe told her, smiling. A low growl emanated from Nikoli, which he ignored. “Anyone who would hurt you will answer to me.”

“That’s my job, Joe.” Nikoli’s voice came out low, hard, and cold.

“And did whomever did this answer for it?” Joe turned his attention to Nikoli.

“Yes.”

That one simple word satisfied Joe, and his smile returned. “Bueno. Now, I have a special today, something that isn’t on the menu normally. Would you like to try it?”

“What is it?” Nikoli asked suspiciously, which caused Joe to burst out laughing.

“The last time I convinced him to try something, it burnt his mouth so badly, he drank three gallons of water,” Joe explained when he saw Lily staring at them curiously. “He doesn’t trust me now.”

“So what are you wanting us to try?” she asked, smiling at Nikoli’s disgruntled expression.

“Es estofado de carne.”

“Beef stew?” she asked.

“Well, it’s more complicated than a simple beef stew.” Joe winked. “Think beef stew, but Cuban style.”

“Bring it on.” She laughed. “I’m willing to try it.”

“Excelente.” Joe grinned. “I’ll bring you both a bowl of it.”

Nikoli muttered something Lily didn’t quite catch, but it made her laugh, which earned her a glare. She smiled all the more at his exasperated expression. She was feeling more like herself now. Her muscles had relaxed, and she wasn’t ready to run screaming for the door. Nikoli had kept his word too. He hadn’t attempted to touch her in any way. He never lied to her. Maybe that was part of why she trusted him, part of why she never had a panic attack when he touched her. It was weird, and she didn’t really understand it, but as Adam always said, it was what it was.

“So, Luther said you guys were gonna work on the Mach 1 this week. Your race is coming up soon, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it’s about a month away. It doesn’t need much work, but we want to modify the engine just a little more than it is.”

“Do you want some help?”

Nikoli’s eyes snapped up and he saw her smiling at him. Was she serious?

“You really want to get all dirty and greasy?” he asked.

She laughed. “I’m more comfortable under the hood of a car than anywhere else. My dad taught me, and I just kept learning even after he died. Adam has had enough junkers over the years to keep me on my game.”

Nikoli grinned at the image of Lily under the hood of his car, her ass sticking out for him to admire. He started to get ideas about lessons he could teach her involving his car.

“Love to have you help,” he said with a grin that had her narrowing her eyes. Before she could say anything, Joe brought their food. He set it down with a wink. “I also brought a carafe of cold milk just in case it’s too hot for Niki boy there.”

Lily snickered, and Nikoli gave her a menacing look. His mouth was not meant to be scorched so bad all his taste buds were burned off. “Go ahead. Take a bite, dushka.”

“How many times do I need to tell you not to call me that?” she asked, irritated.

He only nodded toward the bowl of soup. It smelled delicious, but he knew better. He could see the chilis floating in it.

She scooped up a bite and shoved it in her mouth. He watched her for the first signs of the hot chilis assaulting her tongue, but she only closed her eyes as a look of intense pleasure came over her. His eyes widened when she took another spoonful into her mouth and said, “Mmmmm…this is delicious, Joe.”

Nikoli frowned and took a bite of the rich stew himself. It was delicious, but no sooner had he swallowed than the fire ripped through his mouth. He glanced at Lily and saw her taking another bite. She hadn’t touched her drink or her milk. He turned a suspicious look on Joe. Had the man added more chilies to his bowl than he had Lily’s?

“Something wrong, Nikoli?” Lily looked up and watched him curiously.

He shook his head, refusing to admit he couldn’t handle the stew when Lily was scooping the shit up like it was ice cream. His brothers would never let him live it down if they found out about this. Damn Joe and his spicy Cuban food.

Once Joe left, Nikoli took a small sip of the cold milk. Lily picked up her glass of cherry Dr. Pepper. Nikoli had asked Joe to stock it for her, and the man had complied readily. Lily ate here a lot, more than even Nikoli did.

“So now, my little prude,” Nikoli said, deciding to rankle her, “where did you learn to dance like that?”

She wrinkled her nose at him. She hated the word prude as much as she did dushka. If she only knew it meant sweetheart. He suppressed a grin.

“Watching music videos,” she told him. “I spent hours in my room growing up, and I danced and sang along to my favorite bands and singers.”

He could just imagine her dancing around in her room with a hairbrush while she belted out whatever song she listened to. It was definitely something she’d do.

“You’re really good.”

She shrugged. “I’m all right. You’re not eating your food.”

“I’m not really hungry. I wanted to feed you. Food relaxes you.”

“It does not.”

He laughed. “Yes, Lily Bells, it does. Don’t look so horrified. I love watching you eat.” He held up his hand before she could spew whatever was forming on her lips. “It’s not what you think. No fat jokes. You savor food like you do life. It makes you happy, and anyone around you can see it. Here, you can have the rest of mine. You ate every drop of yours.”

She frowned, but didn’t refuse. He figured the girl had a hell of a metabolism. She didn’t eat a lot, she just ate at odd times. She took a bite of his food and her eyes widened. He watched sweat break out across her forehead, and she reached blindly for something to drink. He handed her the milk, and she gulped the entire glass down at once.

“What the hell is in that?” she gasped once she could talk.

“I knew it,” Nikoli growled. “The bastard. He filled mine with extra chilis.”

“Is he trying to kill you?”

“His idea of a joke.” He knew something was off. Joe was nowhere to be seen either. Bastard. “Are you ready to go?”

She nodded and reached over to grab Nikoli’s milk while he got the check. Her mouth was on fire and tears burned her eyes. She’d never eaten anything so hot in her life. When Nikoli stood up, she followed him to his car and tried to think if she had anything to drink in the dorm. She needn’t have worried, though. He stopped at a convenience store and got them both a gallon of milk, saying it took an entire gallon to calm his mouth down the last time Joe pulled that stunt.

When he pulled up to her dorm, he didn’t try to kiss her or even touch her. He’d kept his word all night and had been a true gentleman. Maybe she was more than attracted to Nikoli. Rebekha had made her think about him and her relationship with Adam in an entirely new light. What was she going to do about this man and the things she was starting to feel for him?

She still had no answer three hours later when she finally fell asleep.