Текст книги "Fall For Me"
Автор книги: Alexis Noelle
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Текущая страница: 6 (всего у книги 13 страниц)
Chapter Twenty
Carter
This can’t be happening! It doesn’t make any sense! I just saw her two days ago! I need to get to her when he isn’t there. She loves me, I know she does.
The fact that he had the nerve to throw my necklace at me made my blood boil. The person that I was talking to wasn’t Maddy. It was just a shell of her. I need to see if Nicole knows anything. I pull out my phone to text her, but I am so angry that my hands were shaking.
Me: What’s going on with Maddy? She just broke up with me for Chris and he was there through the whole thing.
Nicole: He’s been at our room since Wednesday, I swear he hasn’t left once.
Me: Are they really together?
Nicole: They say they are, but something is up.
Me: I think so too.
* * *
Maddy hasn’t been in classes all week and, apparently, she hasn’t been back to her room, either. She never showed up for the job Nicole got her, and she was so excited about it. I haven’t really slept since last Friday. I need to see her.
Tonight is the winter social and I know she is going to be there. Chris and his asshole fraternity brothers are the types who feel like they need to be seen there. This is my last chance to get through to her. Nicole texted me and said Chris came today and got all of her stuff.
Apparently, he is taking her home for winter break. I decided not to go home. I couldn’t face the questions my family would ask.
Being without her this past week was torture. I know that this isn’t her choice, but I don’t know if there is anything I can do to get her back.
I have felt like a zombie all week. I was here, but my mind and heart were somewhere else. I don’t know how I am going to move on if it was really over. She is the only girl I’ve ever fallen for and I’m not ready to give up on her.
Madison
The night of the winter social is finally here, and I am dreading it. I want to be there with Carter. I needed to find him. I have to tell him that I love him, and that I need help.
Chris hasn’t let me out of his sight since that day. When he is in class, one of his friends is assigned to babysit me and keep me in the house.
He made me email all of my teachers, and arrange to do the rest of the work outside of class. I was a pretty good student and didn’t have any absences before now so they were understanding. I almost wanted them not to be, though, so I could go to campus and try to see him.
I tried to leave one day and Chris’ friend texted him. He came home and beat the shit out of me because he knew where I was trying to go. I haven’t even seen Carter since last Friday when I told him I wanted to be with Chris. The look on his face killed me and I can’t get it out of my mind. I have to find a way to get him alone tonight, I just have to.
When I come out of the bedroom, Chris is sitting on the couch. “You took all that time getting ready and that’s the best you could do? Come on, let’s go before I change my mind.” Getting a glimpse of what love was the few days I had with Carter has made coming back to this life unbearable. He grabs my hand and takes me to the car.
Once we are in the car, he turns to me, grabs my face hard with one hand, and my neck with the other so I have no choice but to look directly at him. “You better not try any shit tonight, Madison. You stay away from Carter James, or you’ll regret it. Do you understand me?” I nod my head, and fight the tears that want to come out. It only makes Chris madder when I cry.
As soon as we get to the winter social, I am looking for Carter. He has to come tonight. This is my only opportunity because Chris is making me leave with him tomorrow, but I want nothing more than to spend Christmas with Carter.
I feel him before I see him. It is like my body could sense him. Chris is talking to his fraternity brothers so I turn around. When my eyes catch his, I almost lose it.
He looks horrible, like he hasn’t slept or eaten at all. He is with Nicole. She looks at me like she wants to come up and knock some sense into me. I truthfully wouldn’t blame her for it, either. I should have gone to one of them for help. I should have asked someone to be with me that day.
We’ve already been here for about an hour and Chris said we aren’t staying long because he has to drive tomorrow. I nod my head toward the bathrooms, and Carter seems to understand what I am saying. I let him go before I say anything to Chris. He hasn’t noticed him yet, and I want to keep it that way.
I touch Chris’s arm to get his attention and he looks down at me, as if I am a child interrupting an adult conversation. “I need to go to the bathroom.”
“Okay, make sure you come right back.” I nod my head and walk away.
It takes all the control I have not to run because I know Carter is waiting for me. I see him and run right up to him, wrapping my arms around him.
“Maddy, what’s going on? Why haven’t you been in class for a week, and why did you move out of the dorms? I thought we had something, but then you went back to him. You told me that it was over and that I was the one you wanted and then, as soon as we get back, you leave me. You gave me my necklace back. You don’t know how bad that hurt me. I don’t know what’s going on, but I just need to tell you something I should have said two weeks ago. I love you, Madison Stevens.”
Oh my god. He just said he loved me! “Carter, I-”
I feel a hand grip me around my waist. FUCK! I look up and Chris is standing there. “I’m ready to leave. Let’s go.”
“Maddy, you don’t need to leave with him. He doesn’t own you. What were you about to say?” He is pleading with me once again, it’s just like last week.
Chris tugs me closer to him. “I told you to stay away from my girl, Carter. She doesn’t want you anymore. She made that pretty clear last week. Tell him you don’t want him so we can go home.”
Chris’ hand that is on my back flexes and his nails start to dig into my skin. I just kept replaying his threats over and over in my head. I can’t let him hurt Carter. I’d rather he took his anger out on me. I’m used to it.
“Carter, I’m with Chris now. I don’t want to be with you.” I can’t believe I am able to get those words out. His face breaks my heart all over again. He just told me that he loved me and I am leaving...again.
Chris laughs. “See, I told you that you weren’t wanted.”
That was so far from the truth. Carter just looks at me. “I’m sorry I bothered you. You look beautiful tonight, Maddy.” Then he walks away, taking every piece of my heart with him.
Chris leans down to whisper in my ear, “I fucking warned you. Let’s go home now.” I don’t even care what he is going to do to me. Nothing could be worse than what just happened. I barely remember leaving. I am just going through the motions because nothing really matters anymore.
Chris doesn’t say anything the whole way home. When we get to the house, he goes straight for his bottle of tequila, pours a glass, leans against the counter, and stares at me. After a couple minutes, I mumble that I am going to go get dressed for bed. When I come back out fifteen minutes later, half of the bottle of tequila is gone.
“Did you fuck him, you little whore?”
“What?” I could smell the alcohol on his breath from across the room, and I know tonight is going to be bad.
“Did you fuck Carter?”
Even if I had, I sure as hell wouldn’t tell him. “No, Chris, I didn’t. You know I’m still a virgin.”
“Even if nothing happened yet, you want him and he wants you and that’s not okay. You’re mine, Madison, and I don’t share my things! Do you want to fuck him, Madison?”
“No.” He fills up his glass before taking a couple of steps toward me.
“Good girl. You know I’ve been very patient with you, but I’m done waiting now. You’re going to prove to me that you want me and not him. If you don’t, I’ll go to his house and fucking kill him. Do you understand me?!” He is towering over me and I crouch in fear.
“Yes.” My voice is emotionless. The thought of Chris hurting him because of me is horrible. I know what Chris is getting at, but can I really do this? Will Carter even want me anymore if I do this? Maybe there is some way I can get out of this tonight.
“And if you ever try to leave me for him, I promise you’ll regret it.”
“Why, Chris? You could do so much better than someone like me.” I am praying that this will work. I see anger flash across his face, and it scares me down to the depths of my soul. He walks up to me and grabs my hand.
“I know I can, Madison, but that’s not the fucking point.” What the hell was the point, then? When he starts walking toward the bedroom, I think I might throw up.
Once we get into the bedroom, he slams the door and turns me around to face him. “Get undressed...now.”
“Chris, please, I don’t feel good. Please don’t do this tonight.”
He smacks me across the face so hard that I fall to the ground. “That wasn’t a fucking question! I don’t give a shit what you want! Get undressed now!”
I start to get undressed as my entire body is trembling. I can’t believe that this is my life. When I am finished, Chris throws me onto the bed.
I want to run or to yell for help, but I know it won’t do me any good. If I fight him, things will only get worse and with the amount of alcohol in his system, I know it would be really bad. Chris hovers over me and without any warning sinks himself into me. It hurts so much I start to cry silent tears. I try to block out what is happening to me, try to detach my soul from my body.
When that doesn’t work, all I can do is pretend. I imagine that it is Carter that is here with me and that he is touching me. He is telling me he loves me and that he’ll never leave me. He isn’t rough and it doesn’t hurt. Chris finishes inside of me, then rolls over. After a couple minutes, his breathing evens out and I can tell he’s passed out.
I let the reality of what just happened sink in. What am I doing? I need to be with Carter. I should have never left him there tonight. I am weak and scared, and I am letting fear ruin my life. I need to be stronger and I know if I stay with Chris, he’ll eventually end up killing me. Can I put Carter at risk, though? He told me before he’d always protect me.
I hope he meant it.
Chris is like fire. Pretty to look at, but if you get too close, you get burnt. If it isn’t controlled, it will destroy everything in its path. Doing what I am about to do with Carter is dangerous, but what can I do? I never had parents to warn me not to play with fire.
I wait another ten minutes, just to be sure he is passed out, then start putting my clothes on. I make my way outside and shut the door. FUCK! I forgot to grab my purse. I had no money, and no way to get to Carter’s house. I don’t know anyone’s phone number so even if I found a phone to use, I had no one to call. The only option was to walk, and it was about four miles to his house.
I just pray that when I get there, he is home.
And that he still wants me.
Chapter Twenty One
Carter
I get up from the couch because I hear knocking, although I contemplate not answering it at all. When I looked at the clock, I see that it is around two in the morning. I have no idea who the hell would be at my door this late. There is only one person I want to see, and she is with someone else.
When I finally get to the door and open it, no one is there. I take a step outside and see someone walking away. It is too dark to make out who it could be. Whoever it is, I’m not in the mood for company. All I want to do was go inside and wallow in self-pity.
I call out to them anyway, “Hey!” They turn around, and I swear my heart stops for a minute. “Maddy?”
As she starts walking toward me, she passes under a streetlight. She is in pajamas and looks like she is half-frozen. “What are you doing here? Are you okay?” She walks up to me, but never looks up once and I can’t see her face to help me figure out what is going on. “Maddy what’s-” She crushes her lips to mine with such force I almost fall over.
Before I can react, her hands are around my neck and running through my hair. I start to kiss her back and get lost in our love all over again, but then it hits me that she isn’t mine to love. I told Maddy that I wouldn’t be her secret and I meant it. If she is still with Chris, I can’t be with her.
I push away from her. “Let’s take this inside, okay?” She still hasn’t looked up at me. She just nods her head and starts to walk into the house. That’s when I notice that she only has slippers on. What is she doing out at this time in the morning, in the middle of winter, wearing pajamas and slippers?
I get her inside and shut the door, silently thanking God that I purchased one of those electric fireplaces. “Come, sit down and warm up.”
She walks over to the couch and sits down, not even bothering to take off the flimsy hoodie that is supposed to keep her warm. Her eyes are focused on her lap, and she is wringing her hands in a way that tells me she is trying to warm them up. “What’s going on, Maddy? I need you to talk to me.”
Nothing.
“Either you say something, or I’m going to assume you’re in shock and call 911.”
She finally looks up from her lap and into my eyes. Her tear-stained cheeks and red eyes told me all I needed to know. She needs me, but I’m not sure I have anything left to give her. Then she says the words I’ve wanted to hear since the first time I met her. “I love you.”
I put my hand on her cheek and she winces. That’s when I see it; her cheek is red and I don’t think it’s just from the cold. Anger rolls through me because I know where this came from. I need to hear it from her though. When I look into her eyes, I see sadness and fear, but also a little spark of hope and love. This is my chance.
“I love you, too, baby. I’ve loved you since the first day you fell into my arms. What happened tonight? How did you end up here?” She looks at me for what seems like forever before she finally answers me.
“Please tell me it’s not too late.” I look at her in confusion. Too late for what? “Carter, I love you. You’re the one I want. Please, tell me that it’s not too late for us. I know I’ve hurt you, but if you just give me another chance…”
I feel like I’m dreaming, like she isn’t really here and saying the things she is. “I love you, Maddy, so much, and I’ve dreamt of hearing you say those things. However, before this goes any further, I need the whole story. What about Chris? Why are you here now, dressed like this and crying?”
She is staring at her lap again. I lift her chin up and meet her beautiful hazel eyes. She starts sobbing, so I reach over and pull her onto my lap. She rests her head against my chest, and the tears just kept flowing. I rub her head and sit silently until she is ready to talk to me. After about a half-hour, she stops crying.
“I left him.”
“When? What happened?”
“I don’t think I can talk about this right now.” Is she kidding? I have to know. She needs to tell me now because it can’t be as bad as what I’m imagining in my head. At least, I hope it’s not.
“Baby, listen, I understand you’re upset and exhausted. I need you to tell me what’s going on, and then we can go lie down.”
“Can I take a shower first?”
Fuck. Why did she need a shower? I hope it is because she is cold and wants to warm up, because if it was because he touched her or hurt her, I am going to lose it.
“Why do you need to shower first? Talk to me, Maddy. What happened?”
She looks as if she is going to start crying again. “Carter, I promise I’ll tell you everything. Just, please, let me shower.”
“Okay, whatever you need. Just, please, don’t be long.”
She walks off to the bathroom without another word, and silently closes the door. A couple minutes later, I hear the shower turn on. Now I was left with nothing but my imagination, and that is a dangerous thing.
Madison
I opened the bathroom door and his head immediately snaps up to look at me. When he sees I am only in a towel, I see a fire in his eyes that warms me from the inside out. “I didn’t bring anything with me. Do you have something I can sleep in?” He is still staring at me. “Carter?”
“Uh...yeah. Let me find you something.” He starts going through his drawers, looking for something for me to wear even though I know anything he gave me would be obnoxiously huge. He gives me his favorite USC shirt, sweatpants, a pair of his boxers, and socks. “If you need a sweatshirt, I can grab one for you.”
I would rather have him keep me warm than a sweatshirt. “No, these will be fine, thanks.” I turn back to the bathroom so that I can get dressed.
“Maddy, wait!” I turn back around and Carter is walking toward me. “Turn around.” I do as he asks me to and feel him reach around me. I look down and see he is putting my necklace on me. “I hated that he gave that back to me, and it killed me when I thought you didn’t want it.”
“Carter, I was so upset when he did that. I’m so happy you gave it back to me.” I stand up on my tiptoes and give him a kiss, then walk back to the bathroom to get dressed. When I come out again, he is lying on the bed against his pillow with his eyes closed. Is he asleep? Should I just go and lie on the couch, and we could talk in the morning?
“Are you just gonna stand there and watch me, or are you gonna join the party?” He opens his eyes and gives me one of the smiles that make my heart burst.
I climb into bed with him and settle onto his chest. He puts his arm around me and holds me like he is scared I’ll disappear. Maybe we could just stay like this and he’d forget about us having to talk.
“If you think I’m going to just let you fall asleep without talking, you’re crazy.”
Damn, he always knew exactly what I was thinking. It is one of the things I hate and love about him at the same time.
“Okay…I’ll tell you, but I want you to just let me talk. No questions and no interruptions until the end.”
“That’s fine, baby. I just need to know.”
“When Chris and I got home tonight, he knew something was up with us. As soon as we walked into the house, he started drinking and he was just standing there staring at me. I went to change into my pajamas and when I came back, he hadn’t moved. After he drank half the bottle, he looked up at me and said…”
I really had no idea how I was going to get through this story. My nerves were so on edge and I feel like I might break down at any minute. “…he asked me if I slept with you and I told him no. I said that nothing ever happened between us, but he didn’t buy it. He said that, even if nothing happened, you wanted me and that was not okay because I was his. He told me that if I felt nothing for you and really loved him, I needed to prove it to him and if I didn’t, he’d make sure I regretted it. He said if I ever even thought about leaving him for you, he’d kill you. He made me go into the bedroom and get undressed. I just stood there watching him, feeling like none of this was real. This couldn’t really be happening to me. He told me to get undressed because I was going to prove to him how much he meant to me. I told him I didn’t feel good and really just wanted to go to sleep, but he smacked me and told me he didn’t give a shit what I wanted.” I said all of that in only a few breaths, trying to get it out as fast as possible.
I feel Carter’s whole body tense beneath me. I don’t know how I am going to get through the rest of this. I sit up because I can’t lie with Carter when I tell him what happened. I just pray to God that he didn’t hate me for it. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost him. I bring my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them. I can feel Carter’s eyes on me, but I know he is trying to respect me and give me my space.
“He threw me onto the bed and, I swear Carter, I didn’t want to. The only way I made it through was by pretending it was you, that it was your hands on me and not his. Once he was done, he rolled over and I lay there until he passed out.”
I took a second to catch my breath because I felt like everything was closing in on me. I was rocking back and forth just to have something to do. “When I was lying there, all I could think about was you. I was going to tell you how much you meant to me tonight at the social. I was even going to ask you to help me get away from him. I was scared, though, and I acted like a coward, but lying there in that bed after what he did, I knew I couldn’t do it anymore. I waited a while, just to make sure he was really asleep, and I left. I didn’t want to risk getting clothes or anything like that, because I didn’t know what would have happened if he woke up. I’ve known for a while, really since the first time I met you, that it was you I wanted to be with. But I was scared to leave him. If I’m being honest, I’m petrified of what will happen when he wakes up. He has been violent almost our whole relationship and I just don’t know what to do now. I understand if you’re mad at me, or if you don’t want to be with me anymore. I just need you to know that it’s always been you.”
I steal a glance at him and see a mixture of emotions on his face, anger, sadness...but, most of all, I see love. He grabs me and pulls me down onto his chest, the way I’d been lying before.
“I’m here, baby. I love you so much. None of this is your fault and I could never be mad at you for it. I promise he won’t lay a hand on you again. I’ll kill him first. You’re safe with me, and I’m not letting you go this time. You can stay with me as long as you need to. Hell, I’d be okay with you moving in. It’s all up to you at this point. You just tell me what you need and I’ll do it. We’ll find a way to get you your things, and I’ll deal with Chris.”
“No, Carter, you can’t! I don’t think I could live with myself if something happened to you because of me. Please, just stay away from him.” I look up at him and he lowers his lips to mine. He kisses me with so much love that it overwhelms me.
“Maddy, listen, I need you to understand that I can’t just drop what this asshole did to you. He needs to pay. If you don’t want me to take care of it, then you need to call the cops.”
“No, I can’t call the cops, Carter. His father is a judge he knows all the cops in this town, he is a straight ‘A’ student from a good family, and I’m just some foster kid who, technically, never told him stop while he was doing it.”
I don’t know what else to say to him, so we just lie there with each other and, eventually, fall asleep.
