Текст книги "Bend"

Автор книги: Alessandra Torre

Соавторы: Ella James,K. Bromberg
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Текущая страница: 28 (всего у книги 41 страниц)

chapter 9

It had been nearly four months since that awful episode with Trevor and my men hosting their "come to Jesus" meeting with me. Since then, I had worked my ass off, both at the academy, and at home. And I had fought the temptation for any further random hook-ups, which I found was much easier if I wore myself out physically.

So that's what I did, both in the gym, at home, and with Cain.

Let me explain. I helped Cain every chance I got with his catering business. It was a win-win because not only did I earn some extra cash, but I stayed out of trouble. Little by little I started banking some self-respect along the way.

I was pretty sure that I had earned both Cain and Eli's respect in the meantime, if I hadn't had it before. I think they had been genuinely concerned about me—they cared about me and, in return, I had this unfamiliar need to please them. That was a first for me.

I paid off my car, and had some additional spending money, which I put to good use, sprucing up my wardrobe, and buying some decorative things for the house, determined that it would have my signature style right along with theirs. After all, we were all in this thing together. It felt good to belong somewhere, and I knew that I did.

I had kept a professional attitude where Darin was concerned. I mean, after all, he was still my superior and I needed to make sure that I kept everything above reproach.

Besides, I really had no ax to grind with him. Everything he had said to me that evening had been true. Any inkling of a committed relationship had been in my own mind. I couldn't hold him responsible for leading me on because he really hadn’t.

We were getting the house prepped for the holidays. Eli had made plans to spend Thanksgiving with Darcy and Easton; Trace and Lindsey were spending Thanksgiving with Lindsey's side of the family. Cain and I had been invited to Darcy's as well, but Cain had a major catering gig and I had offered my help.

And it wasn't as if Thanksgiving was that big of a deal to me anyway.

Now Christmas?

Yeah, that was another story. I had already brought up the artificial Christmas tree from the basement, along with the multiple boxes of decorations.

I had enlisted my men's help in rearranging the living room furniture so that our tree could be placed in front of the picture window, so all who traveled down our street could see it, once it was decorated, in all of its eclectic and electric magnificence.

My guys told me that once Thanksgiving had passed, we could get the tree and the outside lights that I had bought put up.

Cain and I got through catering the banquet at one of the local country clubs. Once home, we were exhausted, so we flopped down on the sofa for a breather.

"You did well tonight, Paige," he complimented. "You’re a damn good worker. I appreciate your jumping in to help out, being that a couple of my trusted employees called off last minute. I like that I can depend on you."

I looked over at him, my head resting against the back of the sofa. "It means a lot to me that you said that," I said with a sigh. "I'm not going to lie, though. It was a bitch today, Cain."

He nodded with a loud laugh on his lips and a silent one in his eyes.

It always took me completely off-guard when Cain laughed. I mean yeah, I knew that the guy was human…but when there was a smile on his face; he went from a brooding man to a boyish, sexy guy. It was friggin’ disarming, and I never fully knew how to react and keep the moment when it happened.

I didn’t even realize that I had probably been staring for a full-on minute when Cain looked over at me, a smaller smile hanging from his face. “You’re doing that staring thing again,” he teased.

My eyebrows crept together at that comment, “What staring thing?”

He let out another small laugh, and I kind of wanted to throw it in my pocket.

“That staring thing you do when you don’t think I’m paying attention,” Cain explained.

“Umm…I think someone needs to get his ego checked,” I nudged him playfully in the arm. “One, I don’t stare. And two, even if I did, what makes you think I’d waste it on someone who looks like they spend their spare time running over baby bunnies?” For bonus effect, I raised one eyebrow.

I watched his eyes widen as he looked at me, right before he threw his head back and let out a deep, rich laugh. He looked back over, “Baby bunnies? Where the hell do you even get this stuff?”

Waggling my eyebrows, I shrugged. “T.V.”

He snorted, and I turned fully so that my body was facing his entirely now. “No, seriously. T.V. can teach you a lot of things, my friend. For instance, when I was fourteen and I heard that Billy Jameson wanted to kiss me, I watched Beverly Hills 90210 for a solid afternoon.”

“And…?” Cain asked, with questioning eyes.

“Aaaand, not only did I learn how to kiss…,” I paused dramatically, before gesturing him to come closer, as if I planned on telling him my biggest, darkest secret. When he complied, I brought my face super close to his and whispered mischievously, “I learned how to French.”

Exuberant shock took over his features, and that earlier smile built a home in his voice as he asked, “And what did this Billy think?”

“Well,” I replied, tossing my hair back and having fun with this game we were playing. “He thought that I kissed way better than the sophomore girls.”

“Did he?”

It was such a quiet question. And for some reason, the low way Cain spoke those words were beginning to crack through the innocence of the moment we had just shared.

Our faces were still close together when I managed a small nod, a new kind of moment shocking through the lessening space between us.

His lips grazed mine first, and it was such a soft feeling that I knew if I had blinked, I wouldn’t have even felt it.

Until he gave me a second one.

This time, he ran his lips back and forth across mine, as if asking some arbitrary question. Looking back at that moment, I knew that I should've stopped it.

Ended it.

Started it on fire.

Torn it to shreds so that later, I could delve into the trash can and piece it all back together.

Instead, I sucked in a demanding breath and took his bottom lip between mine. Biting down lightly, I heard him softly growl right before feeling his hand lightly gripping the nape of my neck.

And that’s when he decided to throw gasoline on his next kiss.

Cain pulled my head back slightly, and then completely took over. His mouth softly worked at mine at first, until I took another breath, and he used that to his advantage, as his tongue stole in and caressed over mine.

Jesus, he tastes fucking awesome.

It was a mixture of mint and honey, and fuck me…I wanted a lot more.

Bringing my arms up to grip his biceps, I leaned in and took back the advantage as I found a new angle for his mouth. Kissing him and sucking hard on his tongue, I felt his hands grip the skin that showed above my low-slung pants.

And then I was being flipped.

I was on my back, and Cain now had the advantage again as he settled over me and brought my arms up above my head.

He looked down at me with heat in his eyes that was threatening to singe his eyelashes. I was practically panting as he leaned back down and nipped at my ear, right before quietly sucking on the sensitive skin behind.

“He was right,” he whispered.

I couldn’t help it, I giggled as I turned my head to look at him. “Better than a sophomore?”

He gave me a small smile before leaning in and kissing me with whole lot of sexual aggression, to the point where it was almost punishing.

“Better than anyone,” he practically growled, right before nipping the corner of my lips.

And that’s when we heard the sound of Eli’s car in the drive. Cain and I glanced at one other, and the shards of reality dusted over us as we immediately got as far away from each as the few seconds would allow.

Seriously, what the fuck just happened?

Just then, Eli came through the door, his arms full of Tupperware containers and foil-wrapped items.

"Got plenty of leftovers for my favorite peeps," he chimed in, clearly having imbibed in some holiday spirits. "Want to make sure you two got your holiday feast, being that you both spent the day serving it up to everyone else."

Cain jumped up from the couch, off-loading Eli of some of the containers, and following him into the kitchen. "Uh, Eli…did Darcy cook?"

I heard Eli's good-natured laugh float out from the kitchen. "Don't worry, it's all good," he chuckled. "Paige? Get your perky ass in here. I'm making you a plate," he hollered out.

I went into the kitchen where Eli was setting down clean plates and silverware. Cain was busy opening the containers of food, and putting them in the microwave to heat. I grabbed a bottle of Chardonnay from the wine chiller and dug for the corkscrew in the kitchen drawer.

"So how was everything over at 'Matthews Manor'?" I asked, twisting the corkscrew, anxious for any type of conversation to take my mind off of 'Kissing-Gate 2014' that had just gone down not even five minutes before. I so didn't want to relapse back to my skank days. I had too much to lose with these men.

"Big announcement this afternoon," Eli said, using his faux British accent.

He placed a folded hand towel over his arm, taking the open wine bottle from me, and filled my wine glass as a proper servant would. "Yes, mum. It seems Lady Darcy is in a delicate condition. She will be presenting his lordship with their second born next April. The Lord of the Manor has made it quite clear his preference is for a daughter this time."

I looked up into Eli's amused eyes. He was actually kind of good at impersonating Easton's accent. "Seriously? She's pregnant?"

"Yep," he said, his grin now fading. "They're pretty pumped up about it. Lucky them, I guess," he finished with a wistful sigh.

I looked over at him a tad confused. I noticed Cain had turned from the microwave to glance over at him as well. Our eyes locked briefly, before I turned my attention back to Eli.

"Aren't you happy for them, Eli?" I asked softly, placing my hand over his.

He looked up and painted a smile back on for my benefit. "What? Oh, sure I am. Just a bit jealous maybe. The closer I get to thirty, the more appealing the whole minivan-and-soccer-practice life looks.”

I hadn't considered that with these men. I mean, they were in love and as committed to one another as anyone could be—married or otherwise. It was natural, I suppose they might have the same dreams as any other couple with respect to raising children.

"Here we go," Cain said, interrupting my thoughts and the now-saddened tension in the room as he placed containers of warmed food on the table. "Dig in."

Later, as Cain and I finished cleaning up the kitchen, and Eli was taking out the trash, I brought the subject up. I had all but forgotten about the kiss as this new topic moved to the top.

"Do you and Eli want children, Cain?"

He looked over at me, caught off-guard momentarily. He shrugged and gave a small nod.

"Yeah, we've looked into it," he admitted. "You think that's fucked up, don't you?"

I shook my head. "No, not really," I replied. "I guess until I just now saw how Eli reacted to Darcy's news, I hadn't really thought about it. I've never heard you guys discuss it."

"Well, you're not privy to every conversation we have, Paige. You know, we do manage to have private discussions when possible," he replied, trying to throw some humor into his words. Clearly, it was his polite way of saying, 'MYOB.'

Cool. No problemo.

I turned to leave the kitchen, and felt his hand on my arm, pulling me around to face him. His eyes were warm and soft now, a hint of remorse lacing his expression.

"Hey, I'm sorry," he replied gently. "I didn't mean to snap at you like that. It's kind of a sore subject, I guess. It's the one thing we can't give one another and it's frustrating as hell. We aren't on the same page with it, in all honesty."

"S'alright," I said with a nod, turning to leave.

"Hey you two," Eli said, coming into the kitchen. "Want to play some cards or something?"

I gave Eli a kiss on the cheek as I headed out. "I'm exhausted guys, rain check? This chick has a date with a long soak in a tub full of bubbles. Don't forget—tomorrow we start decorating inside and out."

I heard their manly grumbles as I retreated down the hallway to my room.

My bubble bath was delicious. I soaked for nearly an hour, and thought about the kiss Cain had given me. Maybe I was making too much of it. Maybe it was just something done without thought. I was inclined to believe that's all it was.

I mean, we all cared for each other; that was perfectly clear. We were all close, so maybe it didn't have to mean a damn thing. I wasn't going to overanalyze it. I probably needed to get out more. I'd kind of become a house frau and it was showing. I hadn't sworn off men for life, just the users. Maybe I was ready to try my hand at cultivating a real relationship with someone who had potential rather than just anyone with a hard dick.

After my bath, I climbed into my empty bed and pulled out the large plastic bag that contained yarn, knitting needles and the two work-in-progress wool scarves I'd been knitting in secret for a couple of weeks.

I was making a dark teal scarf for Eli; Cain's was a dark maroon, and I couldn’t help but laugh a bit when it sort of/probably looked an awful lot like something Draco Malfoy would wear. The colors were perfect for each of their palettes.

My Grandmother Townsend (my mom's mother) had taught me how to knit and crochet one summer when I stayed at her house in Oregon. I was probably eleven or twelve at the time. She lived in the middle of nowhere, so I had been happy to have something to keep me busy.

I had knitted potholders of every color, and crocheted hats for my parents and brother, proudly presenting them as gifts when I arrived back home. Only, I never saw my mother use that first potholder, and of course, the hats hadn't really been their style I was told.

The following year, my Grandmother Townsend passed away. When my mother returned home after her burial, she brought boxes of yarn, knitting needles, crochet hooks, and patterns with her and gave them to me.

Over the years, I had dabbled here and there with making things. It was a skill that had stuck with me, I suppose, and would serve me well in making Christmas presents for my guys.

I had found earmuffs on sale to go with them. My budget was still fairly tight these days.

I was knitting away, finding the sound of the clicking needles almost soothing. My grandmother had told me that many a problem had found a solution while she knitted. Maybe I'd have a better chance of finding a date if I wasn't sitting home knitting, I thought to myself with a smile.

I definitely needed to do something before New Year's Eve, because this girl, as mature and down-to-earth as she was trying to be, wasn't going to be a fucking wallflower on New Year’s Eve.

There had been a couple of guys at the bureau who worked in Accounting that had been somewhat flirtatious with me, but I'd pretty much been blowing them off.

I promised myself that, after Thanksgiving, I would make a concerted effort to strike up a conversation with one of them. They were both very nice guys, and not the usual bad-boy types I seemed to gravitate towards. That had to be a good sign. I'd start with Kenneth. He had the higher-level position of the two.

I smiled as I continued knitting. Granny Townsend was right. I had definitely worked out a practical plan while knitting, to ensure I was on the right path toward maturity, self-respect and cultivating healthy relationships.

chapter 10

We all had Black Friday off from our respective jobs, so I put the guys to work assembling the Douglas Fir artificial tree, and getting the white twinkle lights situated evenly. That had managed to get me several exasperated sighs and a couple of eye rolls thrown my way.

I admit, I was damn picky when it came to my Christmas tree decorating. My mother had always left it for me to do, once Trace left home, and I had taken the responsibility quite seriously.

"Much better, Eli," I praised, after I had instructed him to fill the gap where one string of lights plugged into the next.

"Thank you, Princess Paige," he teased, with a shake of his head. "Damn, I never knew how inept I was at this until you so graciously pointed out the multiple faux pas I made here." He gave a waggle of his eyebrows.

Cain came in from the garage just then with another rubber tub marked "X-MAS SHIT." He set it down next to the tree and took the lid off of it.

"Here it is," he said, with a big smile. "I knew we hadn't tossed this stuff out before the move."

He reached in and pulled out several home-made ornaments. Like maybe from his own childhood. There were snowmen and gingerbread men made out of colored felt, with sequins and buttons glued on, a Christmas angel that looked like it had been made out of a tampon, with a bunch of glitter adorning it and a gold pipe-cleaner shaped as the wings.

"These are precious," I said, my lips twitching to a smile. I had never seen Cain look like a 'kid at Christmas' which was exactly how he looked at this very moment. It was hard to even imagine him being a child, what with his serious nature and the passionate undercurrent I had felt first-hand the night before.

He looked over at me and our eyes met.

Damn, he was fucking complicated—or maybe it was simply that the longer I knew him, the less I seemed to know him. He could still surprise me with his sudden change of emotions, or the occasional peek into his psyche.

"I don't know why I've kept these," he admitted with a sheepish smile. "I guess it's the fact that they represent some happy times as a kid."

"Or because you're an insufferable packrat," Eli chimed in, as he started hanging Christmas ornaments. He didn't catch the one finger salute Cain threw up behind his back, giving me a wink.

I started putting wire hooks into some of Cain's ornaments, getting ready to hang them. "Where did you grow up, Cain?"

"Chicago," he replied. "Until my parents divorced when I was thirteen, then I moved with my mother to Baltimore. I didn't see my father much after that," he said, shrugging.

I knew Cain well enough by now not to dig any deeper. If he wanted me to know more, he would tell me when he was ready. Compared to Eli and me, just from the bits and pieces that Cain had shared over the past several months, his formative years didn't sound particularly pleasant.

We were nearly finished trimming the tree when Eli looked at his watch. "Shit, I'm fifteen minutes late picking up Darce."

"Huh?" I asked, looking over at him as he headed for the closet.

"Shopping. We made plans yesterday."

"You're actually going out with all of the crazies on the worst fucking shopping day of the year?" I asked incredulously.

Cain snorted. "You know better than to ask, Paige. Dude doesn't miss a chance to out-shop Darcy."

"Yeah, as if," Eli chuckled, zipping up his jacket. "I'll stop on the way home for some Chinese take-out. Sound good?"

"Fine by me," I replied, placing an ornament on the tree. "Be careful out there."

Cain and I finished the tree, making small talk about our Christmases growing up. I felt a bit uncomfortable, like something was hanging over our heads that we weren't addressing. I finally had enough nerve to mention it.

"Cain, I know you're a private person and I totally respect that, but you and I need to talk about yesterday…about the kiss." I was stumbling over my words, not sure what his reaction would be.

He slowly nodded. “I know," he said, softly. "I hope I didn't totally freak you out. I just couldn't resist," he sighed.

I sat up straighter as he appeared to collect his thoughts. I also made sure that there was a decent amount of couch between us this time.

“I’m drawn to you,” he said this like we were just two people talking about the weather. “Sexually…and emotionally.”

When he just tossed that out there, I probably looked like some sort of a fish in shock as I felt my eyes widen…

He continued, “Eli knows it. I told him last night about the kiss,” Cain let out a small laugh. “And he’s not upset; he’s not even surprised."

"I guess I'm confused," I murmured. "I don't want to cause problems between the two of you. You do know that I care deeply for both of you, right?”

He nodded, giving me a trace of a smile. "I do know that—we both know that. Hey, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable with that, Paige. I just needed to put it out there, because it's just who I am and it's how I feel."

I wasn't sure how I felt about it now, knowing that he had told Eli and, for whatever reason, Eli had understood. This was all very new ground for me. I opted to change the subject for now.

"You know," I said, "There's a guy at work that's kind of been flirting with me the past couple of months."

I saw Cain quirk an eyebrow, but he remained silent.

"Anyway," I continued, "You can rest assured he's not the…caliber I went for in the past. I've learned my lesson on that, thanks to you guys. So, would it be okay if I invited him here for dinner…maybe next week?"

Cain eyed me warily, his eyes narrowing infinitesimally. "This is your home too, Paige. You don't need our permission to have a guest for dinner."

I flushed, feeling a bit embarrassed. "I know that," I responded. "What I meant was that I'd like you and Eli to be here for dinner as well. So that, you know, you can meet Kenneth? We're sort of like family, the three of us. Especially since none of mine even seem to be talking to me much these days," I finished quietly.

"It's fine, Paige," Cain replied softly. "Just let us know when and we'll make sure to become the Italian mafia where your boyfriend conquest is concerned, okay?"

I smiled, feeling better already. I wanted these men to like any man I brought home for them to meet. I needed their seal of approval, for some strange reason. What they thought about me mattered.