Текст книги "Bend"

Автор книги: Alessandra Torre

Соавторы: Ella James,K. Bromberg
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Текущая страница: 27 (всего у книги 41 страниц)

chapter 6

I was perched on the sofa in the family room, spooning the last mouthful of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream into my mouth, tossing the empty container onto the coffee table, where it joined its empty brother, 'Chunky Monkey' who'd gone first, when I heard Cain and Eli come in.

Shit! I just knew I was going to hear about eating up two containers of their precious ice cream. You see, I almost never indulged in that sort of thing anymore, which is why I never bought any for myself. Which is why, in crisis, I'd gotten into theirs.

You see, my boys were extremely territorial about their stuff and about my getting into it.

They had both mini-lectured me on using up their laundry detergent, borrowing their razors to shave my legs when I had run out of my disposable Lady Schicks (Cain had really been pissed about that one, knocking on my bedroom door with little bits of Kleenex tissue dotted with blood attached to his face, and chewing my ass out about it). So getting into their groceries was a major infraction for sure.

I braced myself for my next ass-chewing, as they came into the family room, having heard the television blaring some Lifetime flick I'd turned on. Lifetime's movie theme just happened to be "Eating Disorder Weekend."

And I'm not going to lie. Watching Meredith Baxter as some soccer mom with bulimia, shoveling ice cream into her mouth, as she placed her order for two large fries, a cheeseburger, a fish sandwich and two milk shakes at a drive-thru window was enough to get me into the mood for some comfort food.

They stopped short when they saw me, quickly assessing the situation.

"What happened?" Eli asked, standing in the entryway wearing nylon shorts and some kickass Nike’s. "Why are you home so early?"

I didn't have time to even respond to his questions when Cain spoke up. "And why are you binge-eating Ben & Jerry's?"

"Yeah, about that, guys. Look, I'll replace those when I go to the grocery, I promise."

"We're not fucking worried about that," Eli said, coming over and plopping down next to me on the sofa. "Is everything okay?"

Cain was standing there silently with his arms crossed, waiting for an answer.

"Everything's good," I lied. "I just don't think that Darin and I will be seeing each other socially anymore. No biggie."

“What did that fuck do?” Cain asked, a humming anger in his voice as he sat down on the other side of me.

His dark eyes seemed to get even darker as he gazed at me, waiting for some explanation that I really didn't feel like putting out there to them. It was actually kind of embarrassing.

"It's nothing like that," I replied with a shrug. "It seems that he's not ready for anything exclusive, which is fine. I just wasn't aware of the rules, I guess. And now I am, so hey, it's all good. No harm, no foul."

"Asshat," Eli muttered under his breath. "Are you okay, babe?" I felt his arm wrap around me, pulling me closer to him.

"I'm fine, Eli. I'm really fine. It wasn't as if I was in love with him or anything like that."

My words sounded empty, like maybe there was no conviction behind them. “Look, I’m gonna call it a night,” I told them, as I swept the empty ice-cream containers into one arm. “I’m still helping you with that reception tomorrow, right Cain?”

He pulled me away from Eli, forcing me to face him as he studied me. "If you don't feel like helping with that, it's okay, sweetie. I can get Debbie to come in."

"Don't be silly," I said, leaning over and giving his handsome face a Cherry Garcia-flavored kiss. "I need the extra jack, you know? I've got some ice cream to replace."

I turned from him and gave Eli a kiss on his cheek. "Night guys," I said, heading towards the kitchen. "See y'all in the morning."

Later in the privacy of my room, I quickly changed into my nightgown and brushed my teeth, not wanting to look at my reflection in the mirror.

The truth was that I was ashamed of myself for daring to let my guard down with a man. I very seldom had done that, maybe just once or twice before, and it had never worked out.

Why in the hell had I thought that Darin was going to be any different?

As I snuggled down under my sheets, I remembered what my last semi-boyfriend had told me when we parted. "You're just too hard to keep up with Paige. You want it all and I'm not willing to give it all just yet. You're not my idea of soul mate material. I'm sorry."

That had been Ryan; a guy that I'd known all through school, but hadn't dated until I got out of college. We had been seeing each other steadily for three months when he broke it off. He said I was getting too intense, whatever that meant. He had been the deciding factor in my coming to D.C. to find a career and, hopefully, a new beginning somewhere else.

It seemed as if my luck with men was destined to follow me wherever I went.

I didn't really understand it, though, because I sure wasn't big on the whole 'Let's get married' or 'Let's live together' thing. I was simply looking for some intimacy—a connection that was more than just good sex, something that complimented the sex, that made it more than just a physical thing, but not an ownership thing, either. Somewhere in the middle, I guess.

The best relationship I had going was the one I had with these men. How screwed up was that?

Eli and Cain were the closest thing to soul mates that I'd ever had, even though we hadn’t really been a threesome for all that long.

And the fucked-up thing about that was that they were gay and in love and devoted to one another. How could I possibly fit into that equation?

But somehow, they did make me feel as if I belonged with them; like they cared about me as a woman, not as baby sister like it was with Trace and Easton.

And that part of it was what helped me get through stuff like this. Darin the asshat…Eli was so on the mark with that one. I sighed, somehow feeling comforted by these men that I lived with.

chapter 7

Cain and I were unpacking all of the linens, china, crystal and silverware for the wedding reception that he was catering. This one happened to be in the basement underneath the church where the wedding was taking place.

"Paige, if you set up the tables, I'm going to get the coffee service going, okay?"

"Sure," I replied, straightening out the white tablecloth at the wedding party table. "Who's setting the bar up?"

"Dry reception," he remarked, as he backed through the swinging door to the kitchen, waggling his eyebrows. "Sorry babe, I know you love the tips."

That sucks.

I enjoyed working with Cain and the others at these receptions, but the most enjoyable ones were those that had a bar set up. Cain usually allowed me to work the bar and the tips were pretty substantial.

A couple of the other girls had pissed and moaned a bit because they were full-time employees, not a fill-in like I was when one of the other workers wanted a Saturday off. Cain had explained his rationale to them: He was the boss, and if they didn't like it, then fucking go somewhere else.

Bahahaha!!

Jake and Connie came in; rolling a cart that had the wedding cake and punch bowl on it.

"Damn," I said, wrinkling my nose, "How big is this reception? That cake looks like it could feed a hundred people."

I looked around and saw that the tables were set up for about forty people max, not counting the wedding party which was set for six.

"Hah," Jake snorted with a smile, "Just wait until you see the newlyweds." I shrugged and continued with arranging the place settings.

Cain returned with the silver coffee service, Styrofoam cups along with the cream and sugar packets. "This is going to be a hot and cold appetizer buffet, Paige. So when you're finished up with the tables, can you give Julie some help getting the food table set up?"

"Sure thing, sweetie," I replied, tossing him a smile.

I had worked enough of these things to know the signs by now. This was a 'no-frills' reception. First clue: Booze-less. Second clue: an appetizer buffet that consisted of miniature pigs-in-a-blanket, chicken wings, deviled eggs (sans Cayenne pepper) potato salad, baked beans and potato chips.

We had barely gotten everything into place and the punch bowl filled, when the door to the church basement opened, and guests started piling in. The wedding party was close behind and then I got it.

Oh dear Lord.

The bride and groom had to have a combined weight of over six hundred pounds. The rest of the wedding party wasn't far behind. Thus the reason for the 7-tiered wedding cake, I presumed.

Music streamed through speakers placed around the room from a Spotify playlist of traditional love songs for weddings. I watched as the bride and groom interacted with one another and their guests. I hadn't realized that Cain had come up behind me as I released a wistful sigh.

"Something wrong?" he asked, placing his hands on my shoulders, startling me a bit, and then massaging them back into relaxation.

I shrugged, and then nodded slightly. "Look at them, Cain," I said softly, "Their love for one another is so beautiful and, I don't know, it kind of makes them look beautiful to me, you know?"

"Well who would've thought that our Paige was such a closet romantic?" he teased. "Wait until I share this with Eli."

"Oh stop," I said, smacking him playfully. "I've got no ax to grind with romance; romance just seems to have an ax to grind with me, I guess."

"Why would you say that?" he questioned, pulling me around to face him. "Is this about that fucking idiot, Darin?"

His eyes were once again piercing through me. Cain was so freaking intense sometimes that it gave me chills. I shivered, and his hands were quick to rub my back and shoulders gently, but he was still waiting for an answer.

"No—it's not about him," I replied. "It's more about me. I mean, is there something about me—some sort of repulse pheromone I'm giving off? Never mind—you aren't exactly the demographic I'm looking for anyway."

Shit.

I saw the fire flash in his eyes at the comment. I hadn't meant it like that…exactly. I mean, what the hell? Posing a question like that to a gay dude wasn't exactly fair, was it?

"Outside, now," he ordered, taking me by the arm and pulling me alongside of him. "You and I need to take a break."

Once outside, Cain found a concrete bench off to the side of the church, in a grassy area that had a statue of the Blessed Mother behind it.

"Sit," he ordered.

I sat down, waiting for him to take a seat, but he remained standing.

"First of all, sweetheart, you need to shed some of your pre-conceived notions about alternative lifestyles. Contrary to what you seem to think, homosexuals and bisexuals all don't fall into one neat little category that is black and white, okay?"

I nodded, and started to speak, but he raised his hand, his index finger pointing at me to remain quiet.

"Secondly, you've been with Eli and me long enough that we've both seen what you're doing. We've discussed it amongst ourselves, to be honest."

I quirked an eyebrow, hoping like hell that he intended to clue me in on their assessment.

"Paige," he sighed, "You are bright and beautiful and sexy as fuck, don't you get that? But—what we see in you is the need you have to treat men as either total sex objects, with which to pleasure yourself at leisure—and granted, this information is second-hand from Darcy through Lindsey, but when you do try to focus on something more substantive, you select the type of guy that isn't game for anything but leisure sex. And that is first-hand knowledge from our own observation. Baby, you seem to set yourself up for failure all around."

I was thoughtful for a moment, reflecting upon his words, knowing that he was onto me. Eli too. They hadn't been fooled one little bit. I was a hot mess.

"So, babe, to answer your question in there? No. You're not putting out some 'repulse' pheromone. And whether I'm bisexual or not, I would know, just as Eli knows, you simply need to put yourself out there to the right guy and there won't be a doubt in that pretty little head of yours when it's right."

"You're bisexual?" I asked, swallowing hard. "I mean…does Eli know?"

He threw his head back and I heard his deep, rich laugh, something that was rare with Cain. "Oh yeah, he knows. He's fine with it. Well, he's maybe more than fine with it, to be honest."

My eyebrows once again traveled up my forehead.

Cain continued, "Eli's bisexual as well—or maybe I should say he's a closet bi," he said, giving me a wink.

"It kind of came out in 'couples therapy,' and I swear to God if you tell him that I mentioned couples therapy, I'll fucking hunt you down," he warned, giving me a faux stern look.

"Really? Couples therapy?"

He rolled his eyes in a very delightful way, almost shy-like. "Yeah, we went through some…shit a while back. It's all good now, but we needed to bring things out into the open to build up our trust in one another. Eli had never told me that he had been married—very briefly—the summer before he went to college. Shocked the hell out of me," he said, shaking his head.

"So, why do you say he's a closet bi?"

I mean, what the hell? I'd heard of closet gays, but I pretty much thought bisexuals were out with it, if they went both ways like that.

"Well, although he finds members of both genders sexually appealing, he's made a choice to have only one sexual preference at the moment. He said chicks are too high-maintenance," he finished, giving me a cocky smile.

Oh. What. Ever.

"As if anyone would ever categorize Eli as being low maintenance," I scoffed absently.

This brought a smile from Cain as he stepped forward, drawing me into his arms. His hand gently brushed through my hair, and I felt his full lips graze my forehead, as I relaxed into his warm embrace. It was comforting and it felt right for some reason.

"All I want to tell you, Paige, is to stop hiding behind your dual facades," he murmured. "If you stop doing things for attention, and you start being who you're meant to be, I think your need for romance and commitment will be satisfied. Sometimes, it's right there in front of you."

He gave me a peck on the cheek, and released me from his grasp. "Now, come on, babe. We have a wedding cake to start slicing."

I watched him as I trailed behind him, feeling a warm, fluttery feeling in the pit of my belly as I contemplated his words.

'Sometimes it's right there in front of you…'

Was there some hidden meaning in his words, or was I simply reading too much into his kindness and concern?

I would never do anything to hurt Eli, no matter how close Cain and I had become over the past couple of months. And then again, what had Cain meant when he said that Eli was 'more than fine with it'? Did that mean that Eli…?

Too many questions; too few answers. I was totally confused. I needed to hook up. I knew exactly what was going to be on my agenda tonight.

chapter 8

"That's it, baby. Good girl. Take it all."

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, as Travis buried his long, thick, sheathed cock into me, backed out, and then plunged it in again deeply, grunting his pleasure.

Travis?

Maybe his name is actually Trevor…what the fuck. Who cares?

"Does it feel good, baby? Do you like the feel of Trevor's cock ramming into your pussy like this, huh?"

It's Trevor…right. Random Trevor, referring to himself in the third person. Lovely.

"Yeah, baby," I murmured. "You're the fucking best," I lied, wishing he'd get his nut, because I sure as hell wasn't going to get mine with this ass-hat.

The problem was, he totally had a Bud-Lite hard-on going, and I knew that meant it would be a while before he came.

"That's right, baby," he whispered, groaning and smothering my lips with wet, beer-flavored kisses. "You're going to scream when Trevor makes you come."

Seriously?

Aannd…that's a wrap.

"Get the fuck off of me," I finally said, before clamping my mouth shut and turning my head away from him. "Now," I said, louder.

He stopped his thrusting momentarily, as if my words weren't totally registering in his drunken brain. He didn't pull out of me though, and I was getting really pissed.

"Did you hear me?" I yelled, using my hands to push against his chest, trying to get his long, muscular frame off of me.

"What the fuck?" he asked, loudly. "I ain't goin' nowhere just yet," he remarked, shifting his weight so that my hands were smashed between the both of us as he continued humping me.

"I said stop!" I screamed as loudly as possible. "I want you out of me and out of here!" I yelled into his left ear.

"Fuckin' bitch," he growled, fisting my hair so that my head snapped back.

I thrashed around underneath him, my legs getting twisted up in the sheets, my fists pummeling against his bare chest.

"I said get off of me," I shouted.

Suddenly, I heard my bedroom door open and slam loudly against the wall, startling Trevor enough that his unwelcome thrusting stopped.

In seconds flat, his weight was lifted off of me, and he was slammed unceremoniously against my bedroom wall, where he slid the rest of the way down into a naked heap on the floor.

It was Cain. He was pissed…dark eyes flashing, his fists clenched at his side.

“You have about two fucking seconds to get the fuck out of here,” Cain growled out the quiet threat, “Before I reinvent the term, blue balls. Got me?”

Eli was there now as well, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and wearing nothing but cotton sweats and a concrete look of concern.

I scurried out of the bed, gripping the white sheets around my scantily-clad form and watched as Trevor ineptly got to his feet with no sheet and a deflated hard-on.

Eli, now entirely awake, helped him find his clothes by tossing them at him. And if denim could ever give a person a black eye, I’m pretty sure that’s what they did as Trevor not-so-successfully tried to catch his pants.

I watched as Eli gripped Trevor’s arm just as he was zipping up and began to lead him out of the room.

“Get the fuck off me, fag!” Trevor wrenched his arm free.

“Yeah…,” I heard Eli reply as he shoved Trevor through the open door, “Not goin’ to happen, asshole.”

Their heavy steps down the stairs and Trevor’s drunken insults were the only sound in the 2 a.m. house as I stood there still staring at the door, trying to process the rapid chain of events that just went down.

Hoooly shit!

I looked over at the other person in the room, “Cain, I’m so sor—”

“Give me a minute.” He cut me off, not even looking in my direction as his hands were settled on his hips, and he sucked in a deep breath, looking down at the floor.

My mouth immediately closed. I had never heard Cain yell, and never even once saw the guy lose his shit. So, the fact that he was looking a little like the Hulk standing there in his Metallica T-shirt and black-striped PJ bottoms, meant I’m pretty sure I would've given him the entire night to get his cool mojo back.

He looked up, and pinned me down with his dark eyes and a black look. Instantly, I shifted my sheet up a little higher. His eyes followed the movement, and I saw his jaw clench.

“That’s not going to help,” Cain said, warningly.

I shrugged, “Look, it’s not that big of a deal.”

He responded by giving me one hell of a wry look before asking, “Is this what you do?”

I stood up a bit straighter, “Excuse me?”

“Take guys home. Let them fuck you in your own bedroom, even when you tell them no,” he deadpanned. “Is this what you do?”

“No!” I exclaimed. What the hell was he talking about?

“Then what just happened,” he took a step towards me, “is a big fucking deal, Paige.”

“He just got carried away. I would have handled it,” I told him, probably trying to convince the both of us.

Cain was about a foot from where I was standing now, and he was just about to take another step forward when Eli came walking in.

“Okay, the trash has officially been taken out,” he announced, a bit ceremoniously.

Cain shook his head and began to retreat towards the door, but not before tossing back the words, “We’ll talk in the morning, Paige.”

I looked over at Eli for help. But he had nothing to give me except for, “Yeah, you fucked up.” He made his way over to an exit from this overly dramatic scene, “Bad.”

And with that, the door closed.

This…wasn’t good.

* * *

I felt as if I were back in junior high school.

Perched on a kitchen chair, Eli leaning back against the counter, arms crossed staring at me, while Cain was standing in front of me, hands once again on his hips, sort of glaring, while they both took turns verbally laying out the ground rules to me.

“Last night can’t happen again,” Cain started off, leaning in a bit to make sure I knew that he was dead-ass serious.

"Yes," I nodded, putting a bit of meekness into my voice for sincerity.

“Jesus, Paige, what was that?” Eli quipped in.

I met Cain’s gaze before focusing all of my attention onto Eli. Yeah, I already knew that my day was shot. Waking up to these two and having to go through drinking my coffee in utter silence was definitely not my idea of starting out a good day.

What really put the emphasis on the whole morning suckage, was the fact that I didn’t have an answer for either of them.

Should I have brought Trevor back here last night? Probably not.

Did I possibly have way too much to drink last night? Probably yes.

What would have happened if Cain and Eli didn’t come in with their super-dude capes? I didn’t even want to think about the answer to that one.

“Paige?” Eli said my name again, trying to regain my focus on the issue at hand.

“I get it,” I told the both of them, crossing my arms and probably coming off as a petulant child.

But, shit! These guys held all the cards right now, and this could all play out in a million ways. And I damn well wasn’t going to gamble by giving them an answer I wasn’t sure about.

Another moment of silence.

Clearly, when they saw I wasn’t going to give them the speech about how last night happened and why, Eli switched tactics. “It’s not about the sex.”

What?

“It’s about judging character,” Eli continued.

“Uhh…well, if you’re saying that I should have seen what happened coming, then—”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” Eli deadpanned.

Okay. I was struggling with the decision of either giving him a WTF? look…or the finger. Because I, honest to God, didn’t know how in the hell I could have possibly known that Trevor was going to go all “The Accused” on me.

“Okay,” I said, getting up from the chair. “If you guys are seriously trying to convey that I asked for that last night, then screw you both.”

I started to walk off when I felt a hand on my arm. Turning around, prepared to give one hell of a verbal lashing, I was surprised to see that it was Cain who had the vise-like hold on me.

“That’s not what he’s saying,” Cain explained, meeting my gaze. I looked down to where he was holding me, and he let go.

“Then what is he saying?” I didn’t even spare Eli a glance as I kept my eyes padlocked to Cain’s.

“He’s saying that you should always pick someone who…takes care of you.” Cain took a step back, now looking over at Eli, who was nodding his head.

“I don’t follow.”

Eli tossed the remains of what was in his coffee cup into the sink before turning around to face me.

“Trevor Mulroney always has a breath mint and at least six condoms at hand. He doesn’t give two shits about the women he sleeps with, because all he can think about is getting some. I mean, the guy doesn’t even care if the women he’s sleeping with get off. It might as well be rape even if it is consensual because they're just a breathing pocket-pussy as far as he's concerned. Something to use."

“Well, how was I supposed to know that?” I asked, my eyes darting between them both. Although in all honesty, wasn't that exactly what I'd gone after? I was used to being used; I was used to using right back. For whatever reason, I sucked at cultivating relationships. Being "used" was my comfort zone.

Eli was just about to respond, when Cain beat him to it.

“You should have taken the time to know that,” he said softly, like this was a conversation just between the two of us. "You deserve respect, and in order to understand that, maybe a little self-respect is what you need the most."

I nodded slowly, my eyes drifting down to the kitchen tile. I felt a gentle hand come up to my jaw, and raise my head up to meet a pair of russet-colored eyes.

“You have to learn to respect yourself,” Cain told me with gentle brutality, his hand still holding my face. “Sexuality isn’t a privilege or a lifestyle, Paige. It’s a person’s right. You can do anything you want to do with…whomever. But you have to respect yourself, and make sure that the other person damn well respects you too.”

I let those words churn over in my mind a little before I even thought about responding. Letting out a breath that I didn’t even realize I had been holding, I made sure to meet both of their gazes straight-on. He was right. They were right. I had a long way to go, but it wouldn't be any shorter if I continued on this self-destructive path.

“I’m sorry.” I genuinely confessed. "I know that you're both right. I'll work on it, I promise."