Текст книги "Masked Innocence"
Автор книги: Alessandra Torre
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Текущая страница: 16 (всего у книги 17 страниц)
“I’m going to have to wait until I get to the jeweler to see if I have questions for you on that end. If you want me to properly do my job and help you, I’m going to need more information.”
“It’s an engagement ring. I’ve picked out the stone, and sketched out the design. The only questions they may have will be regarding the smaller stones. Just get the best of everything. I don’t want an engraving or anything like that.” He stopped talking and waited.
Her reaction was quieter than he expected, and a little confused. “Why are you designing an engagement ring? Is this for your brother?”
“No.”
“It’s for you?” Her voice was indignant and disbelieving.
“Yes.”
“I’m confused...” she said slowly.
“It’s for Julia.”
“Broward’s intern? You’re proposing to Broward’s intern. The girl you just started seeing. The one who refused to fill out the questionnaire.” She enunciated every word, drawing the sentence out slowly, idiotically.
“Yes. Any other questions that pertain to your completion of those tasks?”
“How many people in your Cypress reservation?”
“Two.”
“Have you told your father about this?”
“I’m not going to dignify that question with a response.”
“Are you out of your fucking mind? This is so far out of De Luca–ville that I don’t even know how to respond. You have rendered me fucking speechless.”
“Well, that is a first. Thank you for your help. Text me if you have any dire emergencies.”
“Don’t you hang up on me, Brad. We are not even half through—”
He hung up the phone as gently as he could, given it was a cell, and set it on the seat, his home coming into view. Pulling into the drive, he parked in front of the garage, got out and shut the door, turning to face his house, the exterior lights illuminating the large trees in his yard. Inside, various interior lights were on. It felt good, coming home to someone. He had appreciated his freedom for so long, embraced it with a passion almost desperate. It would take a while to fully release that, to get used to not doing whatever he wanted. But while he had once yearned for independence, now he saw the possibility of something different, and he wanted it badly. Marrying her felt right and he was an impulsive but decisive decision-maker. Plus, it would protect her. The one golden rule was that children and wives were untouchable. His family would have no choice. As his wife she would be guarded, part of the inner circle. He strode up the driveway and headed for the back door.
Forty-Seven
It was almost six when I heard sounds downstairs. I wore one of Brad’s T-shirts and had my hair pinned up, putting on mascara. I stopped, listening, then walked to the landing. “Brad?”
“Yeah. I’m coming up.”
Happiness flooded through me. I trotted down the stairs, meeting him halfway, a hand-wrapped bouquet in his hand. A huge smile broke out on my face at the sight of him, and I threw my arms around his neck, kissing him firmly, trying to keep the mascara stick away from his shirt. “Hey, baby,” I said.
“Hey, beautiful. These are for you.”
“They are gorgeous! Thank you.” I kissed his neck, then bounded up the stairs, screwing the mascara closed, meeting him at the top step. I took the bouquet from him and sank my face into them, inhaling the sweet fragrance.
“There are vases downstairs, I’m not sure where, but Martha uses them a lot.”
“I’ll find one. Come into the bathroom. You can talk to me while I put on makeup.”
He followed me into the master bath, stopping when he saw the mess of bubbles I had halfway cleaned up. I had hoped that most of them would evaporate, but that plan hadn’t worked out too well for me. He raised his eyebrows and looked at me.
“Sorry. Your bathtub attacked me with bubbles. I’ll clean it up later. You should probably know, I’m not very...tidy.”
“I could have guessed that.”
I raised my eyebrows at that, but turned back to the mirror, finishing up my mascara.
“You look beautiful.” His voice was soft, and I turned, facing him, studying his eyes. They were, as always, dark and unreadable, watchful, intelligent. I smiled tentatively at him and he stepped forward quickly, his hand stealing around to cup my neck, his eyes on my face. He kissed me, hard and possessive, then softer. My mouth opened and his kiss deepened. He released me and we parted. He grinned, his eyes on my mouth, and then on my eyes.
I turned back to the mirror and fished through the makeup bag, found the earrings I had worn the night of the party and started to put them on.
“Wait,” he said, reaching a hand out and stopping me. He walked into the closet, making noise for a few minutes, then returned, carrying a black velvet box. “Wear these.”
I took the box gingerly—it was old and worn on the edges. Larger than a ring box. I opened the lid, revealing a pair of diamond and sapphire earrings. Each earring had a large round diamond, with an oval sapphire dangling beneath it, surrounded by tiny diamonds. They were beautiful. I studied them, wondering about them, and looked up at Brad.
“They were my mother’s. The first, and only, piece of jewelry I ever bought her. My sister has all of her other pieces. It’s not a gift, just a loan.”
An unnecessary statement, but I understood him making it.
“I thought– I didn’t realize your mother had passed. When you said that you hadn’t spoken to her...” My words trailed off and I looked up, seeing the pain in his eyes.
“Three years ago,” he said, taking the box from me and removed an earring, handing it to me. I took it carefully, the weight of it surprising me. It was, by far, the most expensive thing I had ever touched. I put it on, and looked at myself in the mirror, Brad’s watchful face above mine. “I’ll take good care of them tonight.”
He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck. “I’m not worried. I’m not letting either of you out of my sight.”
I smiled softly and fingered the remaining earring, bringing it up to my other ear. “Which one of us is more precious to you?”
He frowned at me. “I can replace the earrings. You, I cannot.”
I turned and looked up at him. “No?”
“No.”
He snuck a quick hand up my shirt and I flinched, knocking his hand back down and spinning back to the mirror, glaring at his reflection. He shot me a grin and smacked me hard on the ass, then turned to the shower, turning on all of the jets and then pulling his shirt over his head. Finished with my makeup, my ears brilliantly adorned, I left the bathroom and headed to the bedroom to dress.
Forty-Eight
Cypress was as opulent as I expected, but much smaller. We were greeted by a dignified older man who led us on a winding path through several candlelit tables. The room was pear-shaped, an illuminated pianist in the center of it, and the back, curved wall held four curtained alcoves. We were taken to the farthest one, and he pulled back the curtain to reveal a square table, set for two. We stepped up into the alcove, which turned out to be cozy but not claustrophobic. A window occupied the top half of the back wall and gave a stunning view of the downtown skyscrapers. Other than the view and a lone candle, the room was dark.
“Do you want the curtain open or closed, sir?”
“Open, for now. And would you ask the waiter for bottled still, please?”
“Certainly. Enjoy your dinner.”
The man gave a slight bow and left. Brad smiled at me, reaching over and grabbing my hand on the white tablecloth. “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you. You look very handsome yourself, though I am sure you are aware of that.”
“Have you been here before?”
I grinned at him over the candle. “I will save you useless questions on any future dates by informing you that I have not been to any local restaurants that have an à la carte menu.”
“That does save time.”
“How many times have you been here?”
“A few. This is probably my third time.”
I scrunched my forehead at him. “It’s quite a romantic place.”
“Yes, it is.”
“You don’t seem like a romantic type. Seems like you would avoid anything that hints of commitment.”
“You’re wrong on that logic. I am very romantic. It’s part of my whole Don Juan persona. It’s much easier to fuck women when you wine and dine them.”
I raised my eyebrows at him while a waiter arrived and poured us chilled glasses of bottled water. “You do seem to be good at the whole wine-and-dine act.”
We ordered drinks and a selection of appetizers, and once the waiter left, I turned back to Brad. “So, is this whole act to try and get lucky later?”
He looked wounded. “I thought part of the whole ‘girlfriend’ deal was that I was guaranteed to get lucky every night.”
“Oh no.” I shook my head at him. “That isn’t part of the deal at all. Mood swings, PMS, grouchiness, you are guaranteed that. But sex is a constantly negotiated perk.”
“That sucks. No wonder I’m a bachelor.”
“Of course, I was going to wait and spring the bad stuff on you later, so I’m thinking you do have a chance at getting lucky tonight.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“No problem.” The pianist started playing a Frank Sinatra tune and a peaceful lull fell over our table. I watched Brad across the table, his features strong and quiet, his eyes watching mine, his mouth twitching. He was in a good mood, but seemed jittery, nervous, which was very odd. He was normally confidently in control, reassuringly so. He checked his watch.
“Something wrong?”
“No. Just wondering where our drinks are.”
I frowned. Impatience was also out of character, as much as nervousness. At that moment the waiter arrived with our drinks. After setting them in front of us, he bent over and whispered something in Brad’s ear. My eyes narrowed as I watched the exchange, watched Brad’s eyes lighten and his chair slide back as he stood.
“Julia, excuse me for one moment.”
“Wha—?” I didn’t get a chance to finish the question, since I was now alone in the alcove, the settling curtains the only sign that he had even been there. I watched their exit, two suits winding through the tables and disappearing down the hall we had originally entered through. Weird.
* * *
THE PALE LORENZI MANAGER stood by the host stand, with Rebecca’s large frame parked beside him, her arms crossed, expression stony. Shit. He had told her not to come. Brad didn’t stop, but nodded with his head to indicate that they should take this outside. He waited until their party of three passed through the heavy swinging doors, then nodded a greeting to them both. Rebecca didn’t allow the jeweler to speak before she launched into a whispered tirade at Brad.
“Do you know how much this ring costs? Jesus, Brad. I negotiated a chunk of it off, but we are still talking about serious cash. For some chick you started boning a few weeks ago?”
He ignored her and addressed the man. “How did it turn out? Let me see it.”
“It turned out fine. I was there, Brad—I made sure it was perfect—but we seriously need to discuss this!” Rebecca was pissed and getting even more worked up, pushing a blond tendril off her forehead and moving closer to him.
He turned to her, silencing her rant with his eyes. “Thank you for your help tonight. You can go now.” Her eyes blazed at his statement, and he knew she would make him pay for it later. She started to talk, but he held up his hand. “Now. Go. I have to go back inside. We’ll discuss this later.”
She threw up her hands and wheeled around, storming over to her car and yanking the door open. Brad focused back on the jeweler, who had a ring box and loupe out. Brad took the box, opened it and examined the ring closely. It was a platinum setting, two thin strips of small diamonds that arched together and held a brilliant three-carat princess-cut diamond. It looked like an estate piece that had been passed down for generations. It was just as he had envisioned and he clapped the pale man on the shoulder, almost knocking him over in his enthusiasm.
“It looks perfect. Thank you. Did Rebecca take care of the payment?”
“Yes, though I feel like I have been through a wood chipper.” The man sniffed disapprovingly.
Brad grinned. “Working with her can do that to you.” He shook the man’s hand and tucked the box into his suit jacket, then nodded goodbye and headed back into the restaurant.
* * *
OUR APPETIZERS ARRIVED while Brad was gone, so I snacked on lamb tenderloin, beef carpaccio and shrimp cocktail. I was on the verge of getting annoyed when he appeared again, ducking under the curtain and giving me a smile.
“Don’t smile at me,” I muttered, my mouth full of lamb.
“What?”
“You can’t just mysteriously disappear mid-romantic meal.”
He reached over and speared a piece of carpaccio with his fork. “No? That’s not part of a traditional romantic meal?”
“No, it’s not. And stop grinning at me. You’re supposed to look remorseful, apologetic.”
He shrugged, his mouth now full of shrimp. “I apparently suck at romantic dinners. It’s good that you’re finding this out early on so the bar can be set low.”
He was so damn disarming it was annoying. I watched as he polished off the rest of the appetizers, glad that I had gotten my portion while he was gone. “So? Where did you scamper off to?”
He wiped his mouth with the cloth napkin and scowled at me, taking a sip from his drink. “I don’t exactly scamper.”
“No, you don’t. My mistake. Where did you lumber off to?”
“Be patient. You’ll find out soon enough.”
“I’m not a very patient person.”
“So I’m finding out.” He was way too cheerful. Something was up. And his nervousness was gone. Whatever the waiter had taken him away for had apparently relieved his tension.
“Do you take drugs?” The question popped out before I could stop it, though, now that it was hanging out there, it seemed like something that I needed to know the answer to.
“Drugs?” He seemed confused.
“You know, coke, heroin, speed, anything deemed illegal in this country?”
“You are the hard-partying college student. I should be asking you that question. I am, how did you put it when we met?...Old.”
“Yes, you are old. Ancient, in fact—but don’t be evasive.”
“No. I don’t do drugs. I am prescribed and take Adderall, if you want to consider that a drug. You?”
I snorted, offended. “No!”
“Your roommates obviously have a strong relationship with weed.”
“My roommates are idiots. Lovable idiots, but still. I’ve smoked weed before, but it doesn’t do anything for me.” He raised his brows. “I mean, I don’t get high.”
“Three weeks ago you didn’t have orgasms either, but that turned out to be false.”
“Oh my Lord, you are never going to let me forget that, are you? Anyway, we—” I broke off when I saw the waiter hovering outside our curtain. I nodded to him and he stepped into our room and began the menu presentation.
The restaurant served veal—which I had never had, so, at Brad’s urging, I ordered that. He, predictably, ordered a steak and a variety of side dishes, and two minutes later we were alone again. The candlelight played on his strong features and he looked at me, waiting for me to continue.
I searched my thoughts, trying to remember what I had been saying. “We need to discuss tomorrow.”
“What about it?”
“I’m going to pretend that your family killing me is not a concern and skip to the next stress point—Burge.”
He shrugged. “What’s stressful about it?”
“Well, to start, I need to convince him that my position is needed, that he shouldn’t drop me as an intern. Plus, I have to fake my way into doing everything that I told him I can do.”
He held up a hand, swallowing a piece of buttered bread. “What do you mean fake?”
I avoided eye contact, reaching for my glass and taking a sip. “Well, I kind of exaggerated what I had been doing for Broward. So that Burge would consider me useful, needed.”
“Kind of exaggerated, or did exaggerate?”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Don’t give me grief. You are the office’s biggest bullshitter.”
“Apparently not. What did you tell him you could do?”
“Operating agreements, basic filings, meeting minutes.”
He shrugged. “Those are basic enough tasks.”
“That I don’t know how to do.” I hated saying the words, but felt that they added credibility to my stress.
He waved off my concern. “Don’t worry about that. He won’t fire you.”
“How do you know that? You were the one harping on me that I needed to make a good impression so he would ignore the inconvenience of taking me on.”
He shrugged, piercing a piece of leftover meat with his fork. “He mentioned you on a call the other day. He likes you. He won’t fire you.”
“Likes me likes me?” I leaned forward over the table.
“What are you, twelve?” He grinned, wiping his mouth. “No, just normal likes you. If I was you, I wouldn’t worry about that.”
Something in his tone, a playful mockery, made me focus on him and I toyed with my bottom lip before taking the bait. “What do you mean?”
“What you look like at the office...” He grimaced, and I bared my teeth at him, causing him to burst out laughing. “Sorry! But you look...”
“Super hot? Sexy? Drop-dead gorgeous?” I helpfully supplied, giving him a lifeline that he didn’t deserve.
“Dorky,” he finished. “Adorably dorky,” he added quickly at my dark face. “It’s a good thing, will help you with your whole ‘faked work experience’ thing.” He was saved by our food, brought by two tuxedoed gentlemen, and our table was quickly filled with large plates and delicious items. When departing, the waiters closed the curtains, cutting off our view of the room and wrapping us in privacy. The showcased view, savory food and sudden seclusion were distracting, and saved me from coming up with a witty response.
We topped off dinner with wine, crème brûlée and flourless chocolate cake. I was absolutely stuffed, and leaned back in the seat with a contented sigh, my eyes closed in bliss.
“Don’t go to sleep on me.” His words sank into my peaceful cocoon, a silky smooth tone that must have dropped half the panties in town at one point or another in time.
“I’m not.”
“Good.” I felt his hand on mine and opened my eyes. He stood, pulling back the curtain and waiting for me.
“We’re leaving?” I hadn’t seen him pay the check.
“Not entirely. Unless you’re tired, I was thinking we’d have champagne on the roof deck.”
I smiled up at him and rose, grabbing my purse. “You know you only have to mention champagne and I’ll be there.”
“I was counting on that.” His hand on the small of my back, I ducked slightly to pass through the curtained opening, and we moved into the main restaurant area. The pianist was now singing “The Way You Look Tonight” and it felt surreal, winding through the tables, glasses chinking, jewels sparkling, Brad’s hand on me, his masculinity invading my senses. He guided me to a discreet elevator that was open, waiting. We entered the industrial space—one not designed for patrons—wide, steel and filthy, smelling of grease and food. I stood close to him, not wanting to get dirty, and he wrapped a hand around my waist.
“Are we on the wrong elevator?” The setting was such a contrast from the splendor of the restaurant that I felt like I had just exited a movie set and was now backstage.
“Just think of it as adding to the exclusivity factor.” The doors opened, and we stepped into a room smaller than my bedroom, with only a wall of electrical boxes and switches. A large machine vaguely resembling a giant air conditioner hummed to the right of us. Brad stepped forward, through an exit door, propping the door open as he held it open for me. I stepped through, and suddenly was out into the night air.
Forty-Nine
We stood on a rooftop. Brad had referred to it as the “roof deck”—but that was a bit of an overstatement. Roofing material was underfoot, and there was no railing to stop us from falling over the edge, pipes and electrical systems surrounded us. But the view was spectacular, huge buildings all around us, a rainbow of a thousand city lights before us. We gingerly moved forward, stepping along a small walkway, through two humming generators, until we stood on empty, unobstructed roof. Ahead, a small table had been set up, complete with a white tablecloth, two place settings and a candle. Next to it sat a silver stand with champagne chilling. To the left was ten-foot-high arched glass, the ceiling of the restaurant. I walked over and looked through the yellow glass, seeing the small round tables, black-coated waiters, and the illuminated pianist, all oblivious of our view. Brad stepped forward, standing beside me, looking down on the scene, difficult to see through the dirty glass. Something caught his eye and he moved down to a crouch, fiddling with a small window on the side of the arch. I started to ask what he was doing when, suddenly, there was movement beneath his hands, and I could hear the piano, hear “What a Wonderful World” softly drifting out from below Brad, through the window he just cracked.
“And you say you’re not romantic.”
He stood, dusting off his hands. “I have my moments.” He put his hands in his pockets, looking at me across the roof. “You look beautiful.”
I blushed. “Thank you.” This evening had not gone as I had expected. An expensive restaurant, yes; this rooftop scene with a quiet, subdued Brad, no. It was not any side of Brad I had ever seen. I was suddenly nervous, off guard.
He stepped slowly forward, keeping his hands in his pockets, and watched me. Tilted his head to the side and really looked at me. I felt his gaze, penetrating, and averted my eyes, feeling bare and exposed. Then he cocked his head toward the table. “Shall we?”
I lifted my eyes, meeting his strong gaze, and nodded, walking over to the table, to the chair he pulled out for me. He stayed on his feet, undoing the champagne bottle and popping the cork, the sound of bubbles reaching my ears. I intentionally relaxed my hands, setting my purse on the rough, pebbled roof. Why am I so nervous?
Once he had poured our champagne, he sat down across from me and leaned forward, holding his champagne flute out. “A toast.”
I raised my eyebrows at him. More romance?
“To the most wonderful woman I have ever met. May we spend the rest of our lives together.”
“That’s your toast?” My brow furrowed and I kept my glass raised, interrupting his sip of the bubbly liquid.
He looked at me, wounded. “You don’t approve?”
“As I’m sure you have figured out by now, I have a very healthy self-esteem, bordering on egotism.”
“Bordering on?”
“Shut up. Regardless, you have been with a disgusting amount of women, and will be with a hundred more before you die. For me to be the ‘most wonderful’ woman you have ever met, and you toasting to ‘spending the rest of your life’ with me rings a little...” I tilted my head.
“Fake?”
I made a face, trying to think up the right word. “Bullshitty.”
“That’s not a word.”
“I’m pretty sure you can figure out what I mean by my nonword.” I went ahead and took a sip of the damn champagne, which went down perfectly.
“Do you want me to work on a different toast?” He looked at me with amusement.
“No. I believed you earlier when you said I looked beautiful. I’ll keep that part.” I smiled at him over the rim of my flute. A breeze floated over us and I turned my face into the wind, looking out over the city lights.
“Happy?” Brad’s voice was quiet in the night air.
“Very,” I murmured. “But I feel a bit like Cinderella. Like I am in a wonderful, perfect world, and tomorrow morning it will all disappear. Which, I guess, it will.” I set down my glass and looked at him. “Brad, you don’t know if you will be able to protect me. You don’t know what your father will say. Everything could change come morning, and I could be in danger.”
He stayed silent for a minute, studying me. “You said a few days ago that you loved me.”
God, all he ever does is change the subject. I sighed. “Yes.”
“Why do you love me?”
“What?” I was caught off guard. Brad discussing feelings was taking this date to an even stranger place. “Is this you fishing for compliments or being insecure?”
He looked at me steadily, his strong build sitting back, one hand loosely on his glass. The man looked as if he’d never had an insecure thought in his life, and probably hadn’t. “It’s me wanting to know if you truly know what love is.”
“Do you?”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “Now you are being evasive.”
“Fine. I’ll answer the question, then circle back to this train of thought.” I sighed, taking a slow sip of champagne to buy myself time, trying to organize my thoughts and emotions into a communicable form. Talk about putting myself out there. I looked at him, silent and sure, waiting for my response. I was nervous again, and cursed myself for it.
I sighed. “At the risk of scaring you, I think I knew from the moment I met you. I didn’t admit it to myself then, and my mind is fighting with me to even admit it now. You are so...different than anyone that I’ve ever met, and that isn’t necessarily a good thing. I should not be sitting here now, should not have ever gone to lunch with you, to Vegas with you, should not have risked my job and my future to be with someone who should have been nothing more to me than a good fuck.”
He watched me carefully, his dark eyes revealing nothing.
“That is what you were. The only man who ever touched me and made me physically need, made me wet and hot and viral. I have become your sexual slave and if, an hour ago, you had bent me over in front of that entire restaurant and wanted to fuck me, I would have done it.” His eyes changed during my speech, flashing in the darkness, and I felt his virility steal over the table, the vocalized words making me wet, and I clenched my legs together under the table.
“I lusted for you and that is why I didn’t stay away from you like I should have, like every reasonable bone in my body told me to. But in fucking you, in you taking my sexuality and warping it, expanding it, I lost myself, my barrier. And somewhere in all of that, I fell. I was unguarded and unprotected and my heart latched on to you and made every pore in me yours.” I wanted to pull my eyes from his, but he held me still, exposed.
“It’s not because of your money, or your looks. It’s your essence. I love your sense of humor, your honesty, your ability to piss me off and make me laugh at the same time. I love how you are respectful to Martha, and how you will risk your safety to keep me safe. I don’t ever want to experience anything again without you next to me. You change a situation, make an ordinary event incredible.” I stopped suddenly, out of words and too bare to create any more. I closed my eyes briefly, then opened them and stared into his, scared of his reaction. “Does that scare you?”
He was still, and when he spoke, his words held restrained emotion.
“There is very little that scares me, Julia. But you certainly do. I think I have, for a long time, feared love. The last person I truly loved was my mother, and it did nothing to protect me from her abandonment. Since then, I’ve avoided love. Not deliberately, but I’ve set myself up for failure through my actions. Whether it was this crazy situation that brought us together, or my own inability to screw this one thing up, somehow you slipped past that defense.” He paused, his eyes on mine, dark prisons I was unable to break from. “Julia, I have fallen hard. Fallen madly in love with you.” The words hung across the table for a moment, and I waited in the stillness, not wanting to break the moment, his bareness breathtaking and terrifying in its sincerity. “I didn’t admit it to myself until last night, and am just now fully coming to grips with it.”
He bit his bottom lip, the causal gesture tantalizing. “I didn’t expect to ever really fall in love. I hoped, one day, that I would find someone who could satisfy me sexually, and also provide a home, possibly children. But I didn’t expect to fall in love with her. I expected to have affection, to love her in the sense that I love Martha. But what I have with you is different. I don’t really understand it yet, so I’m not going to try and put it into words, not yet. It is going to sound strange, but I don’t particularly like the feeling. I don’t like not being able to control every part of a situation. I don’t like feeling vulnerable, unsure. You are a gamble in that you are young, you could fall out of love as quickly as you fell in it.”
He held up a hand, stopping the protest that was about to leave my lips. “I am, as you have so eloquently put it, ancient. You may, ten years from now, decide that I am too old for you. You may decide that you settled down too young, that you missed out on other opportunities. You just got out of a two-year relationship, an engagement. You haven’t had any time to be single, to have a normal college experience. That may not seem important to you now, but it could later.” His brow furrowed and he looked at me intently. “I’ve never really cared if a woman ‘broke up’ with me. With you it is different. I am a gambler, Julia—I love the thrill of it. But with my heart, with my life, with you, there is too much at stake.”
I frowned at him, trying to understand the meaning behind his words. “So, what are you saying? You are breaking up with me? Because you love me?”
He laughed softly, shaking his head. “No. I just want you to really think this through. I want you to understand what is at stake for me, and for you to really look at what you are giving up by being with me. I want you to really ask yourself if what you are feeling is love. Because for me, I have no doubts. I hate it, it scares the hell outta me, but I know it is true. I know that my life, from this day forward, will be incomplete unless I share it with you. I’m asking if you will be my wife.”
His wife? This was so unexpected that I blinked, my jaw literally dropping as my mind tried to comprehend the statement.
“Julia, will you marry me?”
I was so flustered I hadn’t even noticed him standing up, walking over to me and kneeling at my chair, a small box in his hand, unopened. He looked at me gravely, with such intensity, his handsome face waiting, expectant.
It was like time stood still, as if even the piano player took a break midsong. I was still adjusting to the fact that he had admitted love, to being “in love” with me. This was too much, too overwhelming, and I stared at the small box in his hand, in terror, afraid to open it, afraid that it might contain something beautiful that would be the final crack that would cause this whole beautiful glass ball to break into a million pieces. I understood what he was doing, understood what my saying yes would mean—to my situation, to the danger that threatened my life. Marrying him would protect me, but chain him. Possibly chain us both, and it was too soon. There was too much unknown about each other. Yes, I loved him. I was surer of it than I had ever been of anything. But did he really love me? Or was this a gallant form of chivalry that had invaded his senses, chloroformed his heart?
