Текст книги "Consequences"
Автор книги: Aleatha Romig
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Текущая страница: 31 (всего у книги 36 страниц)
Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do.
But to hold it together when everyone else would understand
ifyoufellapart,that’struestrength. —Unknown
Chapter 45
November fluctuates between autumn and winter. Technically, winter doesn’t begin until after the winter solstice. But as it approaches, the days dramatically decrease in length, and the darkness increases. Some days in November include brilliant blue skies and crisp, intense sunshine. The contrast and fluctuations in weather and life created the unpredictable pressures that defined Claire’s existence. She stressed when Tony was good because she knew it may not last. She worried when he was bad because she knew how bad he could be.
During a private girls’ lunch, Courtney approached the subject again. Since the completion of the silent auction, the frequency of their lunch dates had decreased. Claire desperately missed them. Therefore, following Simon’s memorial, she was elated to receive another invitation accompanied by Tony’s eagerness for her to accept. He said, “I think you need some fun.” She couldn’t have agreed more.
They spent the afternoon in Bettendorf eating, shopping, walking, and talking. Courtney knew about Simon. She knew an old friend of Claire’s had approached her at one of Tony’s speaking events and that Tony wasn’t pleased. She didn’t know the entire story. She also knew about Simon’s sudden death and Tony’s remarkable support. Courtney made Claire laugh, and that was monumental for Claire’s precarious mental health.
Courtney talked about the impending holidays. She expectantly waited for her children to return home from their points of interest and settle in for holiday celebrations. Claire liked the Simmons children, who weren’t really children. They were in their twenties—one still in graduate school, the other beginning a career as an investment banker in St. Louis. Neither married, but their son Caleb had a steady girlfriend. Courtney liked her and hoped that Caleb would pop the question soon. She and Brent wanted to be grandparents. It seemed strange that Claire was only two years older than Caleb, and Courtney was her best friend.
Another exciting topic for Courtney was her impending trip. Tony finally recognized Brent’s hard work and awarded him a substantial Christmas bonus. He told Brent before the holidays so that Brent could plan some nice surprise for Courtney. Brent didn’t want to risk Courtney’s disapproval, so he included her in the planning from the beginning. They were going to Fiji, similar to Tony and Claire’s honeymoon. Refusing to miss Christmas with their children, they wouldn’t go until after the first of the year. Courtney asked Claire lots of questions. Her excitement was contagious. Claire told Courtney everything she could remember. Mostly the destination equaled paradise and don’t worry about packing too many clothes, they didn’t seem to stay on in paradise.
Courtney understood Claire’s privacy issues. Most of their confidential discussions occurred while walking or driving. Claire couldn’t risk someone overhearing. “Honey, I’m really worried about you. I know losing a friend is hard, but it just seems like you have been going down since before Simon’s death.”
Claire didn’t even try to act fine. “I just don’t know. I feel empty and tired all the time.”
“If there is anything I can do for you,” she squeezed Claire’s hand, “I’ll do it.”
“I think afternoons like this are the best medicine.” Courtney agreed laughter would help. So they laughed. They walked in shops, read funny cards and plaques, and had fun.
When Claire returned that night she felt lighter. She tried with all her might to continue the feeling into her home and her suite. The fact that Tony tried to help wasn’t lost on Claire. He immediately showed her an e-mail from Emily, volunteering, “She wants you to call early before John gets home. I think you should call before dinner.”
They went to Tony’s office and Claire tried again. She’d been trying to reach her for almost two weeks, since the first of November. This time Emily answered on the first ring. “Hello?”
Talking on the speaker phone, “Hi, Emily, it is Claire. We’ve been worried. Is everything all right?”
“I don’t think so. I asked you to call early so I could talk without John here.”
“I was out with Courtney today. I called as soon as I got your e-mail.” That was all true.
“He isn’t home yet. Is Anthony there?”
Claire hesitated, should she lie or be truthful? “He is. Do you want to talk to him?”
“I don’t know, maybe he can help.” Tony looked at Claire and raised his eyebrows in question.
“I could put you on speaker phone so he can hear too.” Emily said that would be a good idea. Tony pushed a button to create an audible change, and said hello. Emily said hello. They could hear her voice crack. Claire asked her sister, “Emily, what’s wrong?”
“You know the deadline for partnership decisions was the first?” Claire said she did, Tony acknowledged her audibly too. “Well, it has been extended.”
Claire broke in, always the optimist, “So that isn’t necessarily bad, they’re still undecided.”
“But now the auditor, the person verifying all the accounting information, is questioning John, a lot. John has been asked to verify everything. He is rummaging through old records and spending hour after hour documenting and authenticating his previous work.” Claire and Tony were engaged in concerned eye contact.
Tony responded first. “Emily, I am sure it is some kind of formality. John works for a very prestigious firm, they just want every T crossed and every I dotted.”
“Anthony, I hope you’re right.” They could hear her sniffles. “He pretends to be unconcerned, but I can tell that isn’t the case.”
“He is probably sick of the controlling procedure and stress.” Claire could relate, trying to rationalize and validate every move you make can become tiresome.
“I believe he is offended. Claire, you know John. He would never do anything that wasn’t completely honest and honorable.” She debated about adding to John’s fan club.
Tony responded first. “We did our research prior to offering him a job. I know he is one of the most honest and honorable attorneys anywhere.” Claire scanned her husband’s expression. She only saw sincerity.
“I second that, Em. It will be okay. Let them scrutinize John’s records, there’s nothing dishonest or deceitful to discover.”
“Thank you, really, both of you. John didn’t want me telling you. That’s why I haven’t answered your calls, but I really wanted you to know.”
Claire felt her internal time clock ticking. “Emily, please keep us posted—”
Tony interrupted. “If I can be of any assistance? Perhaps we can get together for Thanksgiving again this year.” Claire watched her husband with astonishment as he spoke. “We could meet in NYC or maybe closer to Troy if it would be easier for you.”
Emily thanked them both. She would think about Thanksgiving. She appreciated Anthony’s offer of help, it was nice to just talk with them. “I promise to keep you updated. I better go in case John gets home soon. Thank you.” They hung up.
Claire had been upset with Tony for almost two months. She despised him for his reaction in Chicago. His behavior that night repulsed her. She detested the way he treated her in California. On some level she even loathed the fact that Simon idolized him. Yet he had tried on numerous occasions to make amends. Only superficially had she accepted his pleas. Those shallow recognitions were mainly a form of self-preservation, a ploy to pacify him. But at that moment, as he disconnected the line, she overwhelmingly appreciated and cherished her husband. The realization almost immobilized her. Every ounce of her being had been opposed to him, similar to like ends of magnets. Her self-therapy suddenly realized that all of her energy had been consumed continually fighting the repulsion and forcing herself to be near him. No wonder she was so drained. But as he hung up the phone, her magnet flipped; suddenly, instead of repulsion she felt attraction. The relief engulfed her, her mask evaporated, and her expression became sincere. “Thank you, Tony.” She went to him and hugged him.
He recognized the difference in her touch. Looking down into her green eyes, he said, “I need to keep working.” She didn’t understand, thinking he was saying he had work to do. She pulled away to let him have his office. He gently pulled her back into his embrace. She looked up into his chocolate eyes. “No, Claire, I need to keep working to be a man you are proud to be married to.” She buried her face in his chest. There would be mascara on his very expensive suit. He lifted her chin. “I need to work to be the man Mrs. Johnson thinks I am.”
Later that night they laughed, cuddled, and talked. Their interaction hadn’t been playful for months. Claire was giddy from the release of tension and stress. For the first time in ages her head didn’t pound. She wasn’t worried about John, he was exceedingly honest. Everything would resolve itself there. The looming question had been here. Unexpectedly she believed it too had been resolved. Realistically the resolution wouldn’t be permanent, but she would enjoy the reprieve.
Emily e-mailed them the following week to decline Tony’s Thanksgiving invitation. She sincerely appreciated his offer but John barely took time to eat. He worked continually to rectify the inquiry.
Tony saw Claire’s disappointment and offered a trip anywhere for the holiday. Claire decided she would rather stay home and celebrate an old-fashioned Thanksgiving together. She wanted to cook him a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. He looked concerned but agreed as long as she would allow him to plan a getaway for their anniversary and Christmas. She agreed.
Giving the entire staff the day off, they lived through Thanksgiving dinner and even survived the carbohydrate overdose. Claire cooked turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, yams, yeast rolls, pumpkin pie, and vegetables. Tony obligingly ate some of everything, saying he liked it all. However, the exorbitant amount of calories contained within the meal far exceeded their usual diet. They both feared they may explode before the pumpkin pie with whipped cream was served.
Although she enjoyed cooking, Claire forgot how much she disliked cleaning. Tony encouraged her to leave it. The staff would take care of it the next day. Somewhere in the recesses of her mind she could hear her mother and grandmother, leaving it for someone else was unacceptable. She told Tony to watch football and she would take care of it.
To Claire’s surprise, Mr. Anthony Rawlings joined his wife in their kitchen and scrubbed pans, counters, and stove tops. Watching him, Claire decided he was even sexier washing dishes than he was in blue jeans.
After Thanksgiving the house burst with Christmas decorations. Catherine told Claire that prior to her presence there hadn’t been any decorations. She found that hard to believe. She didn’t ask for them, but did enjoy them. It wasn’t as extreme as it had been for the wedding, but it was festive. They entertained friends and some of Tony’s business associates. Claire was happy to open the house for others to see its merry charm.
On the Saturday before their anniversary they boarded Tony’s plane and flew west. This time Hawaii was their destination. On their trip to Fiji Tony promised Claire the opportunity to enjoy the Hawaiian Islands. They had ten days. Reminiscent of their honeymoon, they stopped in Los Angeles to refuel and continued another six hours to the island of Oahu, landing in Honolulu.
The difference with this trip was that Claire knew her journey’s end. She understood that when they landed in Honolulu they needed to board an inter-island flight to take them to the island of Lanai. It was a romantic getaway, not as secluded as their private island in Fiji but an island paradise nonetheless. Tony had asked her what she wanted and she had said sunshine and warmth. He delivered. She hadn’t told him she wanted to go alone, but Lanai was as secluded as you could get, and she was happy to have her husband with her.
This time they had a suite in a resort. An exquisitely spectacular suite complete with panoramic views of the Pacific Ocean. Claire’s favorite amenity was the large private lanai. It included a daybed, dining table for two, and lounge chairs. Tony explained that they would have the suite for the entire stay but they would also spend a few nights on other islands. Tony now understood that Claire enjoyed sightseeing, so he planned excursions for Kauai, Oahu, and the Big Island.
Kauai’s spectacular cliffs, canyons, rainforests, and picturesque beaches took them two days and one night of exploration. Claire treasured being on Lumahai Beach, the place where “South Pacific” was filmed. In her mind she could see Mary Martin singing. Tony arranged private sea tours. They saw spinner dolphins, monk seals, green sea turtles, as well as natural wonders, the Na Pai Coast, open ceiling cave, and Honopu Valley Arch.
The day they spent on Oahu, they arrived early on an inter-island plane, rented a car, and Tony drove them around the island. They reverently visited Pearl Harbor, walking hand in hand and reading plaques and names. Tony drove them up Pali Highway through trees and dense forest vegetation until the city below disappeared and they found themselves in the clouds. It was Nuuanu Pali Outlook. They could see the Koolau Cliffs, amazingly lush coastline, and mountain peaks all from the stone terrace one thousand feet above the Oahu coast. The view was spectacular.
That evening they returned to Lanai for more private and sensual explorations. Neither of them moved fast or needy. Instead, they both were thorough, sensual, and loving. The sea breeze and sound of the surf provided the ultimate aphrodisiac, and their lovemaking went on and on.
On the Big Island they enjoyed a two-hour helicopter tour of Volcano Park. This was a first-time experience for both of them, and they found the process of creation and destruction thrilling. Claire couldn’t help remembering the volcano on Mount Etna in Sicily, also active. In one year she witnessed two active volcanoes erupting violently, yet without peril. Something told her she was pushing her luck.
The pilot explained to them that Pele, the Volcano goddess who lives in the volcano, is very unpredictable. It could continue to erupt for another one hundred years or it could quit tomorrow. Claire nodded her head, she understood unpredictability.
After the helicopter tour they spent a few hours hiking the trails that took them directly into volcanic craters, scalded deserts and rainforest, and a petroglyph. She read about them but to be in a volcanic tube exhilarated her. Another Big Island activity Tony insisted they complete was to walk on the Black Sand Beach. Claire didn’t think she would like black sand, sand, after all, is supposed to be white, but it was unusual and magnificent. Removing their shoes, Claire felt the warmth of the black sand under her feet. She’d expected it to be hot. Actually, she’d experienced hotter white sand in Florida, another unpredictable conclusion.
Christmas day they spent on Lanai in their suite. Claire was prepared for the holiday this year. She had a gift for Tony, an exquisite d. Freemont Swiss watch which she’d purchased on Rodeo Drive in October. If he had seen the bill he hadn’t said a thing. On Christmas morning he acted surprised and delighted. Claire knew how he appreciated punctuality.
Also planning ahead, Tony had a gift for Claire. However, his gift wasn’t as extravagant. Actually, it was very basic and left her speechless. He placed it in a slightly larger black velvet box, the kind that might contain a necklace. At first, she thought he forgot, but his grin indicated a scheme. “It isn’t jewelry, so I thought I could use a black box, but if you don’t want it . . .” He started to take the box back.
Smiling, she said, “No, I want it.” She pulled the box toward her, her curiosity getting the better of her. She lifted the lid to reveal a basic calling and texting only cellular telephone. Previously, she opened velvet boxes to lavish diamonds and gold that didn’t move her like this inexpensive cellular phone.
Watching her emerald eyes glisten Tony decided the accompanying lecture could wait. Claire felt like she received the milestone of liberties. It was a wonderful Christmas. That night, lying on the daybed under the stars, they listened to the sound of waves in the distance. Completely relaxed, spooning against her husband, Claire’s mind went back to a snowy afternoon in Tony’s suite. That afternoon she made requests. She also made a request as they lay upon a rug in Lake Tahoe. Tonight, she realized, they’d all been granted. As her mind started to slip into sleep, she heard Tony say, “Merry Christmas, my love.” She hugged his strong arms. “What are you thinking?”
Claire turned her face toward his. “I was thinking that I have everything, everything I asked for. Thank you.” She kissed his lips. “I love you.” And drifted off to sleep.
They arrived back at Iowa on December 28. Snow blanketed the estate and the decorations glistened. Tony had a meeting in Chicago on the twenty-ninth. Worn-out from their trip, Claire decided to stay home. She told Tony she would try to appreciate the Midwest winter until he returned.
Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change
yourlifeforever. —Keri Russell
Chapter 46
Tony’s lecture regarding his gift came on the plane ride home. It started as operational instructions. Claire considered this futile. She received her first cell phone in middle school and knew how to dial a number, answer a call, send a text message and receive one. However, his lesson did contain useful information. Her telephone linked to his computer and iPhone. If she received a call or text, he received a notification. If she sent a text or made a call, he received a notification. He even had an application that allowed him to access telephone numbers and the entire content of text messages. Claire told herself to compartmentalize. She now had a cell phone.
He instructed her to only answer calls from numbers programmed into her phone with an asterisk. Examples: *Tony Cellular, *Home Private, *Eric. There were other numbers programmed into her phone: Emily cell, John V. Cell, Vandersol home, Courtney S., MaryAnn F., etc. They could leave voice mails or texts. Together they would listen or read and decide responses. Claire obediently listened and sighed, thinking, This is ridiculous!
“You asked for me to be able to contact you directly. This will accomplish what you asked.”
She pressed her lips together and thought, He is right. I did and it will. I want more! Deciding to capitalize on the Christmas spirit, she pushed, “Maybe I could at least text Courtney and Sue back immediately. I mean, after all, didn’t you say you can read the texts in real time from your iPhone?” Her husband made a fortune with the Internet, he had technology that would allow him to watch, listen, and monitor her every move. She knew that.
He contemplated his answer. “We will start with my rules. After a time, we can revisit them.” She submitted. He hadn’t closed the subject. It was a minor victory or a minor defeat. Either way, it wasn’t the end of the war.
They celebrated New Year’s Eve at their home with friends: the Simmonses, their son Caleb and his fiancée Julia, Tim and a six-month pregnant Sue, and Tom and Beverly. They all had a wonderful time. They spent most of the evening in the lower level, playing cards and pool, drinking champagne, talking, and laughing.
Courtney couldn’t contain her enthusiasm regarding their son’s engagement. Julia appeared overwhelmed by her overly zealous future mother-in-law. Claire couldn’t help herself. She offered Julia some advice, “Smile and give in. It makes life a lot easier.” They hadn’t set a date yet. Courtney told Claire she may have more charitable responsibilities this year. She planned on helping Julia as much as possible with the wedding. Claire read Julia’s expression and whispered in her ear, “I promise to talk to her later.”
Julia smiled. “Thank you.”
Tim and Sue’s baby was due March 20. All the women “oowwd” and “ahhhed” at her growing midsection. It made Claire think, they’d never discussed children. About six months before she met Tony, she had the birth control insert implanted. In hindsight, that’d been fortuitous. However, considering Tony’s age, maybe this was a subject they should discuss.
Together they all welcomed the New Year with enthusiasm. “To another great year for everyone and for Rawlings Industries.” Everyone tapped glasses.
Claire and Tony both told the Simmonses how fantastic Fiji will be. Claire added, “We can’t wait to hear all about it.” Then she smiled. “Well, not all.”
Courtney blushed. Tony embraced Claire, she had filled him in on her packing advice, and they kissed. Feeling left out, Brent looked at Courtney questionably. She grinned, “I will explain later.” That made them giggle some more. The year began with a bang.
Although Tony contacted Claire directly each evening, she didn’t feel like she’d gained any liberties regarding communication. Emily had her number and would leave text messages and voice mails. Claire could read them or listen to them, but she couldn’t respond until Tony’s input was added. She learned that deleting texts or voice mails was strictly forbidden, it implied hiding. She didn’t ask, but wondered why. If Tony had access to every text why did he need to see it on her phone before she deleted it?
The Simmonses left for Fiji, and Tony missed Brent. Claire found it amusing. He would never admit Brent’s full worth, yet his absence left Tony lacking. She planned to share this secret knowledge upon their return.
Courtney asked Claire to fill in with her multiple charities during her absence. Being January, the heart of her winter blues, Claire happily agreed to the additional tasks. Unfortunately, Claire agreed to help Courtney without first conferring with Tony. “I agree they are admirable charities. I don’t think you need to be gone that much.”
“It is only for two weeks, and I already said I would help.”
“You agreed without discussing it. Did you forget about your responsibilities here? I certainly hope you are not having memory problems again.”
“I didn’t forget and I am sorry. I just wanted to help a friend. I promise nothing will go undone here.”
“You are right, because you won’t be going. Or do you not feel that taking care of your husband is important?”
Claire knew her pleas were useless. “Tony, I am sorry.”
She called each organization. “I am truly sorry I won’t be able to attend your meeting. It seems that I have double booked my calendar. If you could e-mail the information, I will forward it to Mrs. Simmons.” Those calls were made on the speaker feature of her new phone with her husband present. Suddenly, her calendar was open to Tony’s whims.
Claire believed these consequences resulted more from Brent’s absence than from her insubordination. Tony would never admit that. Her attraction toward her husband was waning. Experience taught her that it was a cyclical process. It would wane, then it would wax. She encouraged herself to be patient for the wax.
This January was less snowy than the last, which helped Claire’s disposition. Less snow meant fewer clouds, more sunshine. The Iowa air still registered below freezing but the view from her suite wasn’t that of frozen white tundra. The winter, combined with the feeling that unpredictability was predictably returning, gave her the teetering on the fence sensation from before. Continuing her personal self-therapy, she reminded herself that Courtney would be back in another week and spring was only three months away.
Admittedly more of an attempt to pacify than an act of devotion, she tried desperately to alleviate Tony’s concerns. She obediently waited for him each evening, dressed appropriately for his arrival, attentively listened to his day and concerns, discussed her e-mails, texts, voice mails, and expressed her undying affection. She even chose to not pursue the e-mails and text messages from Emily. That is, until she heard a recent voice mail. The distress in her sister’s voice was unnerving. She respectfully asked Tony if they could call her.
They did from Claire’s telephone. Having her cell phone saved the long walk to his office. They tried three times and didn’t receive an answer. Tony willingly agreed to try again later. They finally reached Emily and the information from the call was difficult for Claire to fathom. John had been accused of fraudulent billing. The Vandersols were devastated.
The morning after the call, Claire opened her eyes, realizing that she was waking in Tony’s bed. The feeling of disorientation came more from her concern over her family than from the dark surroundings. She rolled toward him, but he was gone. The clock read 7:03 a.m. If she hurried to the dining room she may catch him before he left for work. She wanted to thank him again for the ability to talk to her sister during this difficult time. Truth be known, she hoped her gratitude would facilitate her opportunity to support Emily in the future. She put on slippers and her cashmere robe and walked to the dining room. The rich aroma of coffee met her halfway down the corridor. Tony was at the head of the table drinking coffee, his plate empty and his laptop open. When Claire entered the room he looked up. “Good morning, dear. You look beautiful this morning.”
She made a face, “I think you need an eye exam,” and gave him a kiss. “I just wanted to catch you before you left.” Claire sat down at the table and Catherine poured her coffee. “I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate talking to Emily. This is a really difficult time for them.” She added some cream, watching the ivory liquid swirl into the black abyss. Then she looked up into his eyes, wondering if they were the color of the coffee with or without the cream, and added, “And I wanted to let you know I will miss you.” She smiled at the cream filled eyes as she spoke.
“Good news, I am working from home today.” Claire’s heart sank, she really wanted alone time to contemplate the John thing. However, her smile never faltered. “So you will not need to miss me.”
“That’s great! Do you have a lot of work?”
“A few web conferences and phone calls, but don’t worry, I know your schedule is free. I have some ideas for us too.” That smile and the way his eyes shone made Claire question his ideas. She would be glad when Brent returned. This Tony made her uneasy, detesting the dual personalities.
Sipping her coffee, “All right, I need to work out and clean up. I came down here in a hurry to see you.”
“When you’re dressed come to my office,” he said as he stood to leave. He paused to touch her shoulder.
Obediently she replied, “I will be there as soon as I can.”
He kissed her cheek. “Or you could visit before you dress?” His tone suddenly playful.
She touched his hand. “If I do that, you may not get your work done.” He reluctantly agreed and went to his office. She smiled at his attire: shirt, tie, NYU sweatpants, socks, and slippers. That comment to Vanity Fair had been truthful.
Claire’s thoughts wandered as she sipped her coffee, ate her breakfast, and looked out the tall windows. For January the sky was an amazingly clear sapphire blue. Suddenly, she longed to be outside and in the sunshine. The John situation had her heartsick. Maybe some fresh air would give her a new perspective and some ideas to help her family. The beautiful scene outside the window beckoned her to walk, roam, get away, if only for a few hours. The snow of the last few weeks was melted, yet today it was cold enough to keep the ground solid. Perhaps she would have time for a hike before Tony’s ideas. Maybe she could entice him to walk too. He might have some ideas to help John.
Thinking about her walk, Claire finished her shower and left her bathroom considering the appropriate clothes: jeans, a sweater, hiking boots. Her plans didn’t matter. She saw that her clothes were laid out. She hated that. This attire assistance occurred without predictability since her accident. There were jeans, dressier than she would have chosen, and a blue snug-fitting V-neck sweater—not exactly perfect for hiking, but with the addition of a coat and scarf it could work.
Then she noticed her jewelry on the dressing table. Her internal monologue: Seriously, it is morning, who needs diamonds in the morning? Avoiding an unnecessary confrontation, she did as she had been bid, dressed in the clothes, and put on the diamond journey necklace, diamond stud earrings, and diamond watch. Her new watch from Switzerland was beautiful, but it sat on her wrist as a constant reminder of punctuality. She’d been late twice. She didn’t need a watch to remind her of Tony’s appreciation. The first time taught her a lesson she would never forget.
Luckily, there were no shoes set out. She could put on the hiking boots and hope for the best. She was pretty sure Tony’s ideas didn’t include shoes, but hers did. Maybe he could find his hiking boots too.
It was almost ten by the time she reached his office. She knocked and waited for his permission to enter. She didn’t hear him but the door opened and she entered, seeing him seated behind his desk with a shirt and tie, looking so professional. She smiled and quietly sat on the leather sofa away from the webcams and waited for the web conference to finish.
It had something to do with a company in Michigan that was losing money. The local government wasn’t willing to give more tax breaks. Were they going to close it or keep it open? The discussion revolved around the potential for future profits. It would probably result in more unemployed people. Claire didn’t want to think about it. She picked up a magazine and began quietly ruffling through the pages.
