Текст книги "Sometimes It Lasts"
Автор книги: Abbi Glines
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Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 11 страниц)
How do I respond to that?
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” the Hospice nurse said, “but your dad is asking to go to bed. I know you wanted to talk to him before I gave him his meds tonight.”
I nodded. “I’m on my way.”
She gave me a small smile and ducked back out of the room.
“You were going to tell him tonight.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement, but I nodded again anyway.
“Then we can tell him together.”
“Not about the marriage thing. I haven’t said yes. You thinking you’re in love with me doesn’t make that right, Jeremy.”
He didn’t argue. He just stood there. I stepped around him and walked to the living room where my dad was waiting on us.
*
His eyes were sunken into his head and his once large, powerful body was now frail and weak. Seeing him slowly wither was so hard. It got harder every day. “Hey, Daddy,” I said as I walked over to press a kiss to his forehead.
“Hey, baby girl.”
“You feeling okay tonight?” I asked, knowing he would lie. I could see the pain etched in his face. Everyday he lived now was a struggle. And here I was about to tell him I was pregnant and unmarried. Could I do that to him? No. Could I let him die without knowing about the baby I carried inside me? One that would be his heritage? No. I looked back at Jeremy. Could I love him one day? Was love and friendship enough to be more?
“I’ve asked Eva to marry me,” Jeremy told my dad.
My dad’s eyes widened in surprise as he looked at me. “Eva?”
I jerked my gaze over to Jeremy. What was he doing? This was not what I’d agreed to.
“Baby girl, you gonna say something? ’Cause what I’m hearing don’t sound right.”
Daddy’s frown wrinkled his forehead and his pale skin seemed to have gone paler. This had been a bad idea. Telling him. I shouldn’t have brought it in there to him. I should have let him go to bed tonight.
“Eva, tell him,” Jeremy urged. I wanted to go slap my hand over his mouth. He needed to shut up. He’d already said too much.
I gazed down into my daddy’s weak eyes. The strong dark blue was now faded and pale like his skin. I couldn’t lie to him now. He’d know if I did. He would worry over what the truth was.
“I’m pregnant, Daddy.” The words came out on a sob.
Daddy didn’t look at Jeremy with judgment in his eyes. I had worried that he’d assume the baby was Jeremy’s. Instead he pulled me into his arms and held me. I let free the tears I’d been holding back as his large now feeble hands patted my back and tried to soothe me. I loved this man. He was my anchor in the world. He had been never left me. He had never turned from me. Even when I made him furious. Now here he lay sick and he was consoling me.
“It ain’t Jeremy’s baby though, is it?” he said with a tired voice. How had he known?
I couldn’t look at him. I shook my head that I still had buried in his chest. He no longer smelled like the outdoors and the spicy cologne he used to wear. I sobbed as the realization of how he smelled settled over me.
“Cage loved you. I saw it in his eyes.” He stopped, and the wheeze in his chest hurt me as he struggled to take a deep breath. “Don’t let your stubbornness tell you otherwise. You can choose not to love him back, but don’t you doubt that he loved you. ’Cause he mighta been a rascal and not one I’d have chosen for you, but he loved you with something fierce.” Daddy stopped and struggled with his breathing again. I wanted to breathe for him. Then he cupped my face in his trembling hand. “You always know that. And if you choose to marry Jeremy, he’s a good man and I know he loves you too. That’s your choice, but don’t keep a man from his child. Let Cage know about this baby. Even if you don’t choose him.”
Daddy let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes. “I need some sleep. Know I love you. And make sure that little girl knows how much I love her. I’d have spoiled her rotten if I’d been given the chance.”
Daddy’s rattle when he breathed had been going on for a couple days now. Tonight it just seemed worse.
“I need to get him to bed. He needs his medicine,” the nurse said, stepping back into the room. I nodded and pressed one more kiss to his head.
“I love you, Daddy. And I promise I’ll make sure she knows her grandaddy would have loved her.”
The nurse wheeled Daddy out of the room, and I stepped back and watched her take him to his bed.
“How does he know it’s a girl?” Jeremy asked from behind me.
I shrugged. “I don’t know what it is yet. I don’t have my ultrasound until next week.”
We stood there in silence for several minutes. “It’s gonna be a girl, isn’t it?” Jeremy asked. I knew he didn’t really want an answer.
“Probably,” I said with a sad smile before turning back to look at him.
He hadn’t pushed me or said anything about what Daddy had said about Cage. I wasn’t sure Cage would want to know. Daddy loved me and he thought everyone loved me. He believed they should love me. He didn’t know what Cage had done. I couldn’t tell him that. He didn’t need to know.
“If you really mean it… then my answer is, yes.” I said without thinking about it anymore. I wouldn’t marry him before Daddy passed away, but at least when daddy was gone he would leave this world knowing there was a man there that would help take care of me. It would ease his mind. And maybe… maybe I could love Jeremy as more than a dear friend too. Maybe he was right. Maybe over time things would change. But until they did change, there wouldn’t be a wedding. I couldn’t marry Jeremy unless I was in love with him.
Jeremy closed the distance between us and stopped right in front of me. “I mean it.”
*
The next week I found out that I was in fact having a little girl. I didn’t take Jeremy with me. I wasn’t ready for that yet. I had agreed to marry Jeremy, but my baby had a father. Before I could let Jeremy be a part of my baby’s life, I had to give her real father a chance to be a dad. If he wanted to take part in her life, then I’d let him. If he didn’t, then she’d have Jeremy. She would never feel unloved.
Telling Cage that I was pregnant was another thing. I just couldn’t deal with that right then. I wasn’t sure he’d even come home if I did. There was a good chance he wouldn’t answer my phone call. I couldn’t exactly leave this information in a voicemail or a text. But I would make sure he knew. Then he could decide what he wanted to do. Deep down I feared that he would do nothing. If that were the case, it may just break my heart all over again. If there was anything left to break.
*
Two weeks later my daddy passed away while I sat by his bed, holding his hand and singing to him the old church hymn “Amazing Grace.” It had been his last request.
CAGE
Having an off-season and no social life meant my GPA was higher than it had ever been. My coach was thrilled. Not only had I just replaced their star pitcher, but I had stellar grades. I wish I cared. Somehow I’d managed to function without feelings. I was a fucking robot.
I had skipped going home for Thanksgiving. Low had begged me to, but I couldn’t. I’d had Thanksgiving with Eva last year. Home for the Holidays wasn’t happening for me. Except when Low’s baby was born. I’d have to go home for that. But I wasn’t going to my apartment. I would stay in a fucking hotel.
My phone rang ten times before I finally gave in and answered it. Glancing down at the screen, I saw Low’s number flash. Either she was going to try to get me to come home at the last fucking minute for Thanksgiving or she was in labor.
“You okay?” I asked
“Yeah, this isn’t about me,” she replied.
“What is it then? ’Cause ten damn rings is a lot of ringing. You had to have called three times in a row, at least.”
Low took a deep breath and I sat up straight from my relaxed position on the sofa. “Eva’s daddy passed away. Jeremy called me from her phone. He knew she wouldn’t call me. Or you. He thought… We… You should know.”
I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. Damn. Right at Thanksgiving. She loved Thanksgiving. “How is she?” I asked. I knew nothing and that only hurt worse. I wanted to know. I wanted to know how she dealt with her dad slowly dying in front of her. Did she have a shoulder to cry on? Did she need me? Did she even think of me?
“Jeremy said she’d been prepared for it. They had a Hospice nurse at the house with them. She got to spend a lot of time with him in the end.”
“When’s the funeral?” I asked, standing up. She wouldn’t want to see me. But how could I not go? I’d let her deal with this all alone, but I had to go to the funeral. He’d been a good man. He’d given me a chance when no one else wanted to.
“Saturday. Eva wanted to wait until after Thanksgiving. It’s a closed casket.”
I had to go. Even if she didn’t want me there. I had to go. She may not want me there, but, dammit, I’d given her what she wanted and it wasn’t getting any easier. My life was nothing. Meant nothing.
“Can I stay with you?” I didn’t have to explain to Low what I needed. She knew I couldn’t walk into that apartment I’d shared with Eva. With her piano now gone, it would feel haunted. She’d really be gone. I couldn’t.
“Of course. Drive careful.”
“See you Saturday,” I replied. I couldn’t go any earlier. I needed time to prepare myself for seeing her. Having my friends ask me a million questions about life since I’d checked out on them this summer wasn’t something I was up for.
My phone rang again and I looked down at it to see Low’s name again.
“I haven’t changed my mind,” I told her.
“I didn’t tell you one more thing that Jeremy told me. I wasn’t going to, but Marcus is making me call you back and tell you. He said you needed to know before you came.”
“What?”
“Eva’s engaged, Cage. She’s engaged to Jeremy.”
I didn’t hear anything else she said. My body went completely numb. Drawing a breath became impossible. My vision blurred. Eva was mine. I never imagined her with anyone else. Ever. Even though it had been six months, I hadn’t even glanced in another girl’s direction. Eva had been all I could see. How could she be engaged? To Jeremy? She didn’t love Jeremy like that. Did she?
Low was no longer talking in my ear, and I looked down to see my phone was smashed into a million pieces on the floor and there was a dent in my wall. The denial that ripped through me left my throat raw. Then I sank down on the sofa and, for the second time, I cried over Eva Brooks.
Chapter Fifteen
Present Day
EVA
I stood in front of the church, looking out at the solemn faces of family and friends. Standing up there so they could all look at me wasn’t what I wanted to do. I wanted to curl up in a ball beside the casket in front of me and cry like a baby. This all seemed so unfair. I’d done this before. Standing in front of a crowd of tear-stained faces and talked about a man I’d loved but that had been taken from me.
Now, there I stood again. I was expected to talk. To say something about the man in front of me. The one I’d trusted with my life. The one I’d clung to and wept on when I’d found out I was going to be a single mom. The one I’d known would never leave me. He was now gone.
I looked over to see Jeremy standing in his suit and tie watching me carefully. He was still there. He wasn’t going to leave me. I still had him. He gave me a silent nod, and I knew if I asked, he would come up there and hold my hand while I did this. I kept my eyes on him as I opened my mouth to speak. Seeing him there would give me the strength I needed to go on.
“In life one never expects to lose those who they love. We don’t plan on standing in front of our friends and family and talking about someone who meant the world to us. But it happens. It hurts. It never gets easier.” I stopped and swallowed the lump in my throat. Jeremy took a step toward me and I shook my head. I would do this without him. I had to.
“We aren’t promised tomorrow. My daddy taught me that when I was a little girl and I didn’t understand why my momma wasn’t coming home. Then again, when I lost the boy who I thought I’d grow old with, I was reminded of that fact one more time. Life is short.” I dropped my gaze from Jeremy. I couldn’t look at him while I talked about Josh. Seeing the pain in his eyes only made the tears burning my eyes sting worse.
“I’ve been lucky enough to know what unconditional love is. I’ve had it twice in my life by two different men. They loved me until the day they died. I will hold that close to me for the rest of my life. I only hope that the rest of the world is as lucky as I am.” The back doors of the church opened and I stopped talking. The world around me seemed to move in slow motion.
Cage’s blue eyes locked with mine as he stood in the back of the church. I hadn’t expected to see him today. I hadn’t ever expected to see him again. I wasn’t ready to face him. Especially not today.
Jeremy’s arm was around me, and I could hear him whispering something, but I couldn’t focus on his words. The mix of emotions in Cage’s eyes held me frozen. It had been six months since I’d seen his achingly beautiful face. Even longer since I’d been wrapped up in his arms. He’d been the biggest lie of my life. I’d thought he was the one. I’d been wrong. I knew then you were only given one of those in life, and when Josh died, so did my chance at being loved completely.
“Let’s go sit down.” Jeremy’s words finally registered. He was worried about me. I was going to finish this though. Cage York showing up wasn’t going to stop me from finishing this. He’d stopped me from so much already. I wouldn’t let him control this, too.
“Not a day will go by that I don’t think about my daddy. His memory will stay tucked close to my heart. I’ll be able to tell my daughter all about her grandfather one day. What a good man he was. How much he would have loved her. I won’t ever go to bed at night feeling unloved, because I was loved by one of the greatest men I’ve ever known.” Jeremy’s hand tightened on my waist. I glanced down at the diamond ring on my left hand and my chest tightened. Daddy had been so relieved the day Jeremy had put this ring on my finger. He’d been worried that I’d be left alone when he was gone. Jeremy had eased that fear for him.
“I love you, Daddy. Thank you for everything,” I whispered into the microphone.
Jeremy tucked me close to his side as he remained my support while we walked back to our seats. I couldn’t look at Cage again. Not now. There was no mistaking that I was pregnant. Once I stepped out from behind that podium he would have seen it. He would know.
I was going to tell him. Just not right now. I had grieving to do first. I wanted to sit in my house and remember my daddy. I didn’t want to deal with Cage and his reaction to my pregnancy. Or even if he would have a reaction to my pregnancy. Maybe he would be relieved that Jeremy had stepped up and offered to be not only my husband but the father to my baby. I wasn’t sure where Cage’s head was these days. He’d had plenty time to move on from me… from us.
“Do you want me to go out first and corner Cage and deal with him?” Jeremy whispered in my ear as the pastor began the final prayer. We would be going outside to bury my daddy next. Seeing them lower Josh into the ground had brought me to my knees. Would it be just as hard to see them lower Daddy? I’d had time to say my good-byes to him. We had been together in the end. I had a peace with Daddy’s death that I didn’t get with Josh’s. Daddy hadn’t been ripped from me.
“I’m not ready to face him, but even if he doesn’t love me anymore, I don’t think he will try and approach me right now. He wouldn’t do that. He may just be here to pay his last respects and leave. Seeing me like this could send him running.”
Jeremy frowned and glanced toward the back of the church. “I don’t think he’s gonna be running. He noticed that you’re pregnant. The dude’s face is pale.”
Oh God. Not today. Not today. I didn’t want to talk to Cage about this today. I would tomorrow. “Maybe you should go talk to him. Tell him if he wants to talk to me, that I need it to wait until tomorrow.”
“I think that’s a good idea. I’ll meet you outside,” he whispered as we stood up. He quickly made his way to the back before everyone else left to go outside to the graveyard behind the church.
CAGE
She was pregnant. Holy shit. She was pregnant. My chest was so tight, I couldn’t take a deep breath. I was forcing oxygen into my lungs as I stared at the front of the church. The back of Eva’s head as she spoke to the pastor. I had to get to her. That baby was mine and that diamond ring on her hand was not fucking okay with me.
“Outside. We need to talk,” Jeremy said as he stopped in front of me and nodded toward the exit. My hands fisted at my sides. This was the motherfucker who was gonna marry my woman and take my kid away from me.
“I don’t know if being alone with me is a real smart idea for you,” I snarled, tearing my eyes away from the back of Eva’s head so I could glare at Jeremy.
“It’s her dad’s funeral, Cage. I realize you noticed Eva’s stomach, but you need to remember this is the hardest day of Eva’s life.”
He was right. Damn him. I managed to nod and tap down the anger rolling under the surface. Then I followed him outside. He kept walking until we were in the parking lot and away from the crowd walking to the cemetery.
“I’m not gonna let you take what’s mine.”
Jeremy stuck his hands in his pockets and let out a weary sigh. “She thought you’d see her stomach and take off running. I told her you wouldn’t. Guess I was right.”
“She thought I’d run? Where the fuck did she get that idea?” Not only did she not trust me not to cheat on her, she also didn’t trust me to want what was mine. Did she not know me at all?
Jeremy lifted his eyes to look directly at me. “Why should she think differently? It’s been six months, Cage. She hasn’t heard a word from you. What is she supposed to think?”
Ah, hell no. He wasn’t pegging this shit on me. He was the one who was coming after me with a gun, telling me not to ever come near her again. Not that he stopped me. Eva telling me she was done with us… That’s what had stopped me.
“She ended it. I gave her what she wanted. She didn’t trust me. She didn’t even fucking let me explain.”
Jeremy’s eyebrows shot up like he was surprised by my words. “Really, Cage? That’s what you’re going with? Because the girl you were dealing with wasn’t just Eva. It was Eva in deep depression and grief because she was watching her daddy grow sicker every damn day. She was dealing with the fact he was going to die. That’s the girl you were talking to that day. Not the Eva that was sure of your love. Her emotions were a damn jumbled mess. You never tried to contact her again. You just walked.”
I hated him.
I hated what he was saying.
I hated how fucking right he was.
“That baby is mine,” I said, needing to hear him admit it. There was no way it was his. Eva wouldn’t have slept with him or anyone else so soon after our breakup to be that pregnant already.
“Ain’t nobody saying it isn’t yours. She’ll even tell you it’s yours. She told her daddy it was yours. She just needs you to give her a day. Let her mourn today. Let her say her good-byes to her dad. Tomorrow she’ll talk to you. She’s ready.”
She was gonna talk to me. She was carrying my baby.
And she was wearing his motherfucking ring on her hand.
“Why she wearing your ring?”
Jeremy shifted his feet, and for the first time since we’d walked out there, he looked nervous. “I asked her to marry me. She said yes. I love her. I have since we were kids.”
I had seen it from the beginning. I had wondered about it, but I’d been okay with it because she didn’t see him that way. She loved him like a brother. Which still confused the hell out of me as to why they were fucking engaged. Was it because she was pregnant?
“I’m not letting you have her.”
Jeremy’s shoulders stiffened at my words. “That’s her decision. Not yours to make.”
“I’m gonna fight for her and our baby. She loves me. She may have forgotten, but deep down she knows. What we have… it’s always. She and I… We’re always.”
Jeremy shook his head and glanced back at the crowd gathering around the freshly dug grave. “Sometimes, Cage, a hurt goes too deep.” He didn’t look back at me. He turned around and headed toward Eva. Her shoulders were slumped and jerked gently as she cried into a handkerchief. I wanted to be there to hold her. To soothe her. But she didn’t want me. Not now.
I’d make sure she wanted me again. I would spend the rest of my life making sure she wanted me again. It would wait until tomorrow, though. I stood there and watched her lean into Jeremy’s arms, as she laid one white rose on her father’s casket and they lowered him into the grave. I continued standing there as the crowd slowly began to leave. I waited. I waited until she looked up and finally gave in and turned her eyes toward me.
Her head tilted to the side as she studied me. I could see the confusion in them from here. She thought I’d moved on. My gaze dropped to her stomach as her hand rested on it. The diamond caught the sun and it mocked me as it sat over my child. Our child.
Tomorrow. I’d talk to her tomorrow.
*
Low brought me a beer and sat down across from me. Thankfully she didn’t crawl up in Marcus’s lap. I wasn’t in the mood at the moment to witness other people’s happiness. I’d fucked my shit up.
“I can’t believe she’s pregnant,” Low said for the third time since I’d walked in the door and announced that Eva was carrying my baby.
“It sucks that she didn’t tell you when she found out,” Marcus said, shaking his head while moving closer to Low to put his arm around her.
“She didn’t exactly find out when she was in a good state of mind. She and Cage were broken up, her daddy was sick.… I mean, it had to have been hard on her.” Low was going to defend her. I was kind of surprised she wasn’t upset for my benefit.
“Pregnancy messes with your hormones. You don’t think clearly a lot of the time. It makes you emotional and very vulnerable. Then combine that with the emotions of watching your father slowly die of cancer. I can’t imagine. I really can’t. She must have been a mess.”
Well, fuck. Now I felt worse, and I hadn’t thought that was possible. I’d already sent her into the arms of another man. She lost her daddy and cried on another man’s shoulder. I had lost her. No… No. I wasn’t going to think that. I could never make any of this right, but I could win her back.
“At least you’ll be seven hours away and not have to watch her with him. The distance will help, I think,” Marcus said, taking another swig of his beer.
“I’m not going back,” I replied. I couldn’t leave now. If I left, I would lose her forever. What would my life be worth then? Without Eva, I didn’t give a flying fuck about my future.
“Cage, you can’t mean that. You have to go back. Think about your future—”
“My future doesn’t matter if Eva isn’t in it.” I cut Low off. I wasn’t going to listen to how I needed to go finish school. I was tired of hearing that shit. I had lost Eva because I’d left. If I’d been there, none of that would have happened. She wouldn’t be wearing Jeremy’s damn ring right now; she’d be wearing mine.
“But this semester is almost over,” Low said, sitting on the edge of the couch as if she was ready to beg me to finish school.
“I have a 4.0, Low. I’ll take my exams online and that will be it. I’m not going back there. I’ll get a student loan and transfer to South for the fall term. I need this next term to focus on Eva.”
Low blew out a long breath that made her bangs flutter against her forehead, then she sat back against Marcus’s chest. “That’s what you really want to do?”
“Yes.”
“But—”
“Let it go, baby. If I were in his shoes, I’d do the same thing. His future is Eva and their baby. Sometimes dreams change. His has.”
I looked at Marcus Hardy and realized that might be the first wise thing that had ever come out of the dude’s mouth.
Chapter Sixteen
EVA
I had given in last night and taken another of the sleeping pills my obstetrician had prescribed me. I hadn’t been able to sleep since Daddy passed away, and I’d called my doctor desperate for help. Jeremy had also offered to stay with me, but I had sent him home. Seeing Cage yesterday had haunted me. As ridiculous as it sounded, I felt like I was doing something wrong by wearing Jeremy’s ring. It was as if I was cheating now.
He was going to want to talk to me today. Jeremy had said he had agreed to wait until after the funeral, but that he had said the baby was his. He wasn’t trying to deny it. The Cage I had loved and trusted would want our baby. But the Cage who had left me and turned from me when I had needed him most wouldn’t want a child. Maybe he was coming to tell me that he wanted to relinquish all rights to the baby to Jeremy. The thought made me sick to my stomach.
Even after everything that had happened, I didn’t want Cage to not want our baby. I wanted my little girl to have a daddy who adored her. I wanted her to have what I had. Sure, Jeremy had promised to be there for us, but he would never really love Cage’s child the way a daddy loved his child. He’d always remember whose child she really was.
I looked out over the land as I sat rocking on the front porch swing. This was mine to take care of now. I had to make it work. I was terrified of letting my daddy’s hard work be for nothing. I couldn’t let it go. It was my home. I wanted my daughter to grow up there too.
Jeremy’s truck came over the hill¸ reminding me that we had to decide what to do about the stockyard this next weekend. Would we make any new purchases or would we wait? I watched him roll to a stop down by the barn. He loved this land too. He was a good man. He had been there for me through everything.
He jumped down out of the truck and reached inside to grab his hat before closing the door. Watching him walk toward me I reminded myself every reason why I’d said yes. I glanced down at my empty ring finger. I hadn’t ben able to put the diamond he’d bought me last week on my hand this morning. Some days I couldn’t wear it because it felt wrong. Like I was pretending again. I hated pretending.
Lifting my gaze, I looked back at his face and saw he too had been looking at my bare ring finger. He never mentioned it when I didn’t wear the ring. Another reason I loved him.
“Morning,” he said with a smile that didn’t meet his eyes.
“Good morning,” I replied, tucking my hands between my legs so that neither of us was tempted to look at them again.
“You sleep okay?” he asked as he walked up the steps and then leaned against the railing.
“Yes. Thanks to sleeping pills. I slept fine. You?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I slept good enough, I guess.”
I wasn’t sure what to say to him then. We’d never had awkward moments before. We had them more often now. It was like we were in some strange limbo. We were engaged, but yet we’d never kissed. I couldn’t imagine kissing Jeremy. It was one of the reasons I pretended. Facing the truth was too complicated.
“He called me about thirty minutes ago. He’ll be here soon. You ready for that?”
I knew who “he” was. I didn’t have to ask. I was surprised he’d called Jeremy though. Why not me? Was he accepting my engagement to Jeremy that easily? My gut twisted. Deep down I’d thought he might be upset about Jeremy and me. Seems like once again I was wrong about Cage York.
“It’s time we talked. He deserves the chance to decide what he wants to do about Bliss. Daddy was right. Bliss is Cage’s, too. He should get a voice in what her future holds. Are you ready for that? If he wants to be a part of her life?”
Jeremy shifted his stance and crossed his arms over his chest. “You decided to go with Bliss,” he said instead of an answer.
Daddy and I had talked about baby names when he was awake and able to talk. Bliss had been his idea. I had been leaning toward Heidi. He had said that he believed my little girl was going to be my bliss. She’d bring me the happiness I thought I’d lost. I knew the night he closed his eyes for the last time that her name would be Bliss.
“Daddy named her,” I replied.
Jeremy nodded. “I like it.”
“Me too.”
We stood there not looking at each other and not talking. Knowing Cage was on his way and he held the answer to what would happen next weighed on both of us. I wondered if Jeremy hoped Cage would be Bliss’s dad. Maybe he didn’t want that kind of pressure just yet. Would he want a child of his own one day? If we married, we would eventually have children.…
I couldn’t think about that. I couldn’t even imagine kissing Jeremy. Much less that. It seemed wrong. Guilt ate at me. What had I agreed to? I needed my daddy. I needed to talk to him. Tears stung my eyes and I prayed I wouldn’t cry.
“He’s here,” Jeremy said
My head snapped up and I looked down the road to see Cage’s car slowly coming down the driveway. I remember how he used to speed down the road and jump out of the car to catch me as I threw myself at him. Things were so different now. My hand went to my stomach on reflex. It was as if I needed to protect her from this. What if this was the moment her father walked away from her without a fight the way he had with me? I didn’t want that kind of rejection to ever touch her.
“You want me to step inside, or go on down to the barn and start my day?”
He was offering to give us time alone to talk. I was torn. I didn’t want him to feel unwanted, but this was a conversation that his presence could hinder. Cage may want him there. I wasn’t sure yet. “I’m not sure,” I replied honestly.
Cage’s door opened and he stepped out. Even now my heart picked up its pace at the sight of him. The jeans he was wearing hung low on his narrow hips. The snug-fitting black T-shirt he was wearing didn’t hide the fact his nipples were pierced. He slid his aviator sunglasses off and threw them in the seat of his car before closing the door and turning to look at me. His eyes didn’t even acknowledge Jeremy. They were pinned on me.
My excitement at seeing him was mixed with fear and pain. His eyes dropped to my stomach and I remembered that my hand was covering it protectively. His gaze lingered there before they lifted back up to pierce me with their dark blue intensity. He wasn’t here to give up our baby. He didn’t have to speak for me to know that. I could see it in his eyes.
