Текст книги "Sometimes It Lasts"
Автор книги: Abbi Glines
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Текущая страница: 6 (всего у книги 11 страниц)
He looked torn, but then he crawled in behind me and pulled me against his chest.
“Sleep,” he whispered in my ear. But I didn’t. Not one wink. All night. Even after his breathing evened and slowed, I stared at the wall and wondered how this had happened. Those photos weren’t all in the same night. He wasn’t wearing the same thing in them. He wasn’t at the same place in all of them. How had he lied so easily to me? How had I believed him?
*
At some point before the sunrise, I must have dozed off, because my eyes flew open as I shot up in bed to see the sun pouring into Jeremy’s room. Looking around, I realized Jeremy was gone. In that brief moment I’d forgotten why I was here, but the memories came crashing down over me and my stomach rolled as each image played again in my head. I had to get out of there. I had to go somewhere. I had to do something. I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t deal with this.
I stood up and noticed Jeremy’s phone lying beside me with a note in his scribble underneath it. I picked both up and read the letter.
Use my phone. I took yours. I don’t want you talking to that bastard or looking at those damn photos again. Call me if you need me. Your dad knows I’m gone and why. I spoke with him this morning but I didn’t give him the details just enough. He is at home waiting on you. Go curl up in your daddy’s lap and let him take care of you. He needs that. He’s worried about you. I’ll be back tonight late.
Jeremy
Where was he? Did he go to Tennessee? Surely not. I jumped up and looked for my shoes, then realized I’d walked over there barefoot. I didn’t want Elaine to find me in there. I’d call Jeremy when I got outside. Opening the window, I slipped out and headed for my house.
This wasn’t fair. I couldn’t worry about Daddy worrying about me. Didn’t Jeremy understand that? Dammit. I knew he meant well, but this wasn’t what I wanted him to do. I had needed someone last night, and he was all I had now to break down on. I stepped onto our property and looked up at the porch to see my daddy standing there, waiting for me. I started walking toward him and he stepped around the railing and down the steps. When he opened his arms to me, tears filled my eyes and blurred my vision. I managed to get to him without falling over something.
His big arms wrapped around me and held me to his chest as my first sob broke free.
CAGE
Constant ringing was sending sharp pains through my head. I moaned and reached for a pillow to cover my ears. Instead I found hair. Lots of it. My eyes opened, and I turned to see a naked… Hayden in my bed. Jumping up, I backed away from the bed, and along with the pounding in my head, my chest was now beating wildly. What the fuck?
The ringing kept on. What the hell was that? My back touched the wall and my bare ass alerted me to the fact I was also naked. Holy fucking shit! What had I done? This was not right? I didn’t do this? I would never have done this? Not even dog drunk would have done this? But I didn’t remember… anything. Nothing. I walked back into the bar after calling Eva and got a beer. Then… I… drank it. And nothing. Shit. The ringing started again. Fuck me, what was that noise?
My phone. Shit. My phone. I grabbed my jeans and jerked them on, then I grabbed my phone. It was Eva. Oh, shit… It was Eva. I couldn’t answer it with… Oh, shit. I stepped out of the room and quickly answered. I had to figure this out. I had to find a way. Eva couldn’t know about this. What had I even done?
A used condom was lying on the floor in front of me. Shit. Shit. Shit.
The phone started ringing again. It was Eva again. I had to answer. What if she needed me?
“Hello,” I managed to croak out sounding like I felt.
“You need to run. Your ass may be bigger than me, but I can use a gun real damn good. So you’ve been warned. I’m coming after your motherfucking ass and I intend to put a bullet between your eyes.” Then the line ended. It had been Jeremy.
I stared at the phone in my hand and let his words register. He was coming here to kill me. That meant one thing. Somehow Eva knew. But what the fuck did she know? I didn’t even know? I didn’t remember shit. Someone had drugged my damn drink. I had been drinking for years and never had I been drugged. Never. Who the hell? I looked back at my bedroom and my blood boiled. That bitch in my bed.
I stalked back to my room and jerked my door open. Grabbing the sheet, I yanked it hard enough that the whore went flying across my room with a loud thud when she smacked her head against the wall. I wanted her to hurt. I wanted to strangle her. I fisted my hands at my sides to keep from beating her evil ass to a pulp.
She screamed and grabbed her head then started cursing.
“Get. Out!” I yelled.
She started to say something, but when her eyes saw the rage in mine, she snapped her mouth shut and slowly stood up. If she said one word—one fucking word—I was going to sling her ass across the damn apartment.
She reached for her clothes and started to put them on.
“No! Get. Out. Now!” I roared before slamming my fist through the wall.
She took off running. Holding her clothes in her hands tightly, she ran from my room and out the door of the apartment, slamming the door behind her. I dialed Eva’s number again.
“What, you sorry ass fucker? Called to fucking explain now you’ve figured out that Eva knows! She don’t just know. She saw it. Your naked ass with another woman. All of it. Thanks to your friends there, a part of it was even videoed. You killed her. Just so you fucking know, the Eva we both knew is fucking dead. I had to look into her empty eyes as she threw up over and over again. I’m gonna fucking kill you!”
My stomach rolled. She had seen it? What the fuck had she seen? No. No. Oh God, no. I barely made it to the bathroom before I hit my knees and started throwing up last night’s beer. Something I hadn’t done since high school.
I reached for the phone as I sank back against the wall and leaned against it. “I was drugged.”
“Really? That might get your ass out of this if it wasn’t for all the pictures of your lying ass. You weren’t always wearing the same thing. You weren’t always at the same place. Grabbing tits at a party. Kissing some trashy bitch. Getting in a car on another day and driving off with the same bitch you were in bed with. What about the one you had her up against a pool table, doing everything but having sex with her, while onlookers cheered you on? You’re a sick motherfucker who had something you didn’t deserve. You lost that. She’s done. It’s over. You killed it.”
I’d been set up. This had all been set up.
“I need to talk to her. You can come after me and fucking blow my head off, but let me talk to her first. Let me explain. I can’t let her think I did this to her.”
“You step foot on that property and Wilson will put a bullet in you. That man’s sick. He doesn’t need this damn drama. His little girl is broken. He’s gonna want your blood. These are her last months with her father, you fucking asshole. She’s making memories for the rest of her life. A life she will live without him. And you just fucked her up. Royally fucked her up. I’m coming after your ass to make sure you’re in a hospital and can’t get to her. I don’t want jail time, but I intend to make sure you can’t fucking walk.”
“I didn’t… None of this is real. It’s a setup. What you saw in the pictures, that wasn’t real—the shit from last night that I don’t remember. I was drugged, so what you saw last night was real. It just wasn’t me. I gotta talk to her, Jeremy.”
He paused and I waited. He had to give me a chance to explain this to her. She couldn’t think I’d done this. I was coming home. This shit wasn’t for me. I should never have come here. It was a huge mistake.
“She won’t see you. Her daddy will kill you. You broke her. Let her heal. Leave her fucking alone. This is the time she is supposed to be spending with her daddy. Not dealing with a broken heart over you. Stay your ass in Tennessee and leave her alone.”
“I can’t.”
“Because you’re a selfish bastard. That’s why you can’t. For once in your godforsaken life think about someone else. Someone other than what you want. Stay away. Let her come to you when she’s ready. If she’s ever ready.”
How was I supposed to do that? Was I being selfish? I wanted her to know the truth. She would want to know the truth. That wasn’t selfishness.
“Just let me talk to her on the phone. Tell me how I can talk to her. Please.”
Jeremy was quiet again. Then he let out a frustrated sigh. “Let me call her first. I don’t believe your lying ass, but this is her decision to make.”
“Thank you,” I replied, but he’d hung up. I sat on the floor of the bathroom and stared at my phone, willing it to ring again. After ten minutes a blocked number flashed on the screen.
“Baby, listen to me,” I said before she could say anything.
“No. You listen to me. I’m done. We’re done. You’re dead to me. Completely. I trusted you with my heart, and I realized that you were my biggest mistake. You will always be my biggest mistake. I trusted you. I should have known guys like you can’t be trusted. Good-bye, Cage York. Don’t come here again. Don’t come near me again. I don’t care what you have to say. I never want to hear your voice again. I never want to see your face again.” The line went dead.
The first sob caused my entire body to tremble. The ones that followed took my soul with them and left me void.
Chapter Thirteen
EVA
I only let my daddy hold me while I cried that one day. Then I got determined. I would not sulk during the last months I had with my dad. I wanted memories to cherish not to regret. When I let myself think of Cage, it felt like someone had opened my chest and jerked out my heart all over again. Sometimes I had to stop and double over from the pain. But I was getting good at denial. I pretended.
I pretended that my daddy wasn’t dying. I pretended that Cage York hadn’t taken my soul and destroyed it. I pretended that Jeremy was my Josh. And now that I stood in the bathroom, looking down at the third small stick with two pink lines, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to pretend I wasn’t pregnant. I had pretended that my period wasn’t late for an entire month. When it was two months late, I knew it was time to stop pretending.
Daddy wasn’t getting up early and working outside anymore. He was sleeping late. Most mornings, I checked to make sure he was still breathing at least three times before he woke up. Daddy sat in his recliner and I read to him a lot. We watched television together. He loved to watch Duck Dynasty and Sons of Anarchy. I’d bought all the older seasons from iTunes, and we’d watched them all.
It was rare that he ate anymore. Many days he got sick more than he ate. His pain meds had been upped, and as of last Monday, the hospice has started stopping by three times a week. I’d been pretending that didn’t mean what I knew it did too. Yeah, I’d gotten real good at pretending. But my pretending was going to have to stop.
I was pregnant and my daddy was dying. And Jeremy wasn’t Josh. I took all three pregnancy testes and their boxes and went to my bedroom where I could hide them. I wasn’t sure if I could tell Daddy just yet. It would worry him. He was leaving me. I couldn’t ignore that any longer. Jeremy had found another guy in town for Daddy to hire to cover his workload. They managed to finish earlier than Jeremy and Daddy had everyday. The farm was doing fine.
It was Daddy and me who were losing ourselves.
I couldn’t lose myself. I had a baby inside me. Cage’s baby. Just thinking his name made my hurt crack open. I put both my hands on my stomach and stood in front of the mirror and stared at myself. I didn’t look different. I was a little nauseous when I first woke up in the mornings, but nothing too bad. I wasn’t getting a stomach yet.
I had known. All month I’d known deep down that I was pregnant. I just hadn’t wanted to admit it. Admitting it meant I was going to be a single mom. That I was going to have to do with without a parent to teach me how to be a mother. That I was going to be in charge of taking care of another life. One that I created.
And no matter how things ended with Cage and me, this baby had been created out of love—because I’d been so in love with him that it was enough for both of us. Even if he hadn’t loved me the same way, I believed that he had cared for me. He wanted to love me just as fiercely as I had loved him. I was a safety net for him. I wasn’t something fleeting, and he’d had so much fleeting. But his world was going in a direction that a girlfriend didn’t fit into. Especially a girlfriend with a baby.
Out of pain and anger, I’d called him my biggest mistake. I didn’t believe that now. I touched my stomach. Maybe he’d been a part of my life that fate had known I needed. He left me with someone I could keep. That would love me and wouldn’t leave me. My daddy would be going, but I’d have another life coming to fill that empty void.
A knock sounded at my door, and I dropped my hands from my stomach and stepped away from the mirror. “Come in!” I called out.
Daddy opened the door and the concerned frown on his face told me I wasn’t going to like what he needed to tell me. “The people called from the center. They’re on their way to get the piano. Are you sure you want to give it away?” He asked, watching me closely.
The piano Cage had bought me arrived one week after we broke up. Preston and Marcus delivered it. Both of them tried to talk to me about Cage, but I refused to listen. I also ignored the piano for another week. Finally, one night, I’d let my guard down. I wasn’t pretending that night. I was broken and I felt like I was bleeding inside. I had no one to talk to. So I sat down at the piano and I played. I played for hours. I played until I’d written a song. One that shared all my feelings and emotions.
While I was pretending in my life that night, I was real with my music. Letting the piano go was one more thing to rip me into. But I’d donated it to a local kids’ center in a rough area of town. The music teacher there worked for free. She just needed more instruments. I couldn’t sell it, but I couldn’t keep it. Seeing it hurt too much.
“I’m sure. Just… give me some time alone with it,” I replied. I didn’t even pretend to smile this time. I was too raw.
Daddy nodded, turned, and headed downstairs. I knew he was going outside. He’d give me my time. I needed to play it one more time. To sing good-bye to Cage and his memories.
*
Closing my eyes, I put my fingers on the cool ivory keys. After this, I wouldn’t let my heart break any longer for a man who didn’t fight for me. He’d walked away when I’d told him to. I had given him an out and he’d taken it. So easily. This was the end for me. I let my fingers dance over the keys. The familiar melody that I’d played that night came back to me. I’d cried while composing the song. I wouldn’t cry today. I wouldn’t cry over him again. Not ever.
“Sittin’ on the porch, just waiting to see one more glimpse of you.
I should’ve known then I was a fool to believe you’d ever want me to.
This silly girl gave into her heart.
I shoulda listened to my head.
Now I’m left here alone, just thinking about everything my daddy said.
’Cause you’re a heartbreaker, a soul taker.
No one can hold you down.
So take what you want and then take all the rest, ’cause this girl is headin’ out of town.
The summer sun was beatin’ down, the day your eyes met mine.
I was mesmerized by the smile on your lips, didn’t know how sweet they could lie.
Every touch, every moment in time, you caused every sigh.
Now I’m left her alone, thinkin’ I should have seen, I should’ve seen you’d make me cry.
’Cause you’re a heartbreaker, a soul taker.
No one can hold you down.
So take what you want and then take all the rest, ‘cause this girl is headin’ out of town.
One day I know I’ll be moving on, but I fear you’ll always be
Right there holding a piece of my heart that’ll never belong to me.
And I’ll live my life, find reasons to smile so everyone will always think
That you didn’t shake me and totally break me.
They’ll never know I’ll never be free.
’Cause you’re a heartbreaker, a soul taker.
No one will hold you down.
So take what you want and then take all the rest, ’cause this girl is getting away from you.
Heartbreaker, you soul taker, I’ll never be the same.
You took what you wanted, I gave it away,
Now I’m left here standing in the rain.
CAGE
I’d pitched a perfect game. Throwing my keys on the bar in the kitchen, I walked over to the fridge to grab a Gatorade. Five green Jarritos sat on the top shelf. I stopped and jerked around to see a very pregnant Low smiling at me and sitting in my living room with her feet propped up.
“No Jarritos in your fridge when I got here? Really? What am I supposed to think? That I’m not welcome in your new digs? Because I have the key you sent me,” she said, dangling the key I’d mailed her once I’d gotten my shit out of Ace’s apartment and gotten my own place.
I took two long strides and jumped the sofa in my way to pull Low into my arms. I missed her. I missed home.… I just couldn’t go back. I couldn’t see it. I’d think of her. I couldn’t let myself think of her.
“You’re fucking here! I can’t believe you’re fucking here!” I didn’t hug her as tightly as I wanted since there was a belly in between us that I was pretty damn sure I wasn’t supposed to squish.
Low squeezed me and laughed. That sound was the first thing that had made me smile in… well, in a while. A long damn while. “Of course I’m here. You weren’t talking much on the phone. You won’t come home to visit. I had to do something. I was worrying.”
“I can’t believe Papa Bear let you travel this far by yourself,” I said, stepping back to look at my very-pregnant best friend.
She scrunched up her nose. “He didn’t. He’s out… That’s who brought me the Jarritos when I got here and saw you didn’t have any,” she teased, punching my arm.
I wasn’t surprised that Marcus wasn’t too far from her. I was glad. Once that had pissed me off. Now it made Low one less thing I had to worry about.
She sat down on the chair she’d been in and propped her feet back up on the ottoman. “So talk to me. You won’t talk to me on the phone. I only know bits and pieces from the short conversations we’ve had. I need to know what the hell is going on with you.”
I didn’t want to talk about this. Not even with Low. I hadn’t talked about it with anyone. I shook my head and turned away from her and stared out the window. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
Low let out a disbelieving laugh. “Uh, no. That’s bullshit. You won’t come home and Eva’s daddy is dying. Something is seriously wrong. I want to know what. So talk or send me into an early labor.”
Maybe if I talked about it, my chest wouldn’t hurt so bad. Maybe I’d be able to close my eyes at night and not see Eva bent over, throwing up, about what she saw. Pictures I’d never seen. Ones I never wanted to see. They would be the end of me. I couldn’t deal with them.
“I fucked up. I let people in I shouldn’t. I trusted the wrong people and got screwed over,” I said, sitting down on the sofa and finally meeting Low’s concerned gaze.
“Explain that. Because you can’t be talking about Eva being the wrong people,” she said with a cocked eyebrow. She was going to defend Eva to the end. I loved her for that.
“No not… not her.” I still couldn’t say her name, dammit. I wanted to say her name. I wanted to feel it on my lips. But I couldn’t. It tore my chest back open if I even tried.
“Then who?”
“The guy I was rooming with when I first got here. That’s who. He was the pitcher. The star pitcher. He wanted the big leagues. He had his eye on the prize, and he was worried about me taking away his game. So he set me up, hoping to send me running home. He… he fucked it all up. He took away my life. So I took away his. Doesn’t feel better. But seeing his face as I pitch a perfect game while he sits on the bench feels good. For a moment. It’s a fleeting moment.”
Low dropped her feet to the floor and leaned forward. “What did he do to set you up?”
“He has a fuck buddy. Some whore who sleeps with the team for fun. He took photos of me that were completely misconstrued and then he had her kiss me out of fucking nowhere and got a picture of that. I shoved her ass off and got away from her, but not before he snapped a photo that I didn’t know he was taking. Then they drugged my beer. Got me making out with her on video. Then took a photo of us naked in bed.” I swallowed hard. Saying the next part was the hardest part. “Then… They… They sent it to… her.”
Low’s gasp as she covered her mouth was followed by a “Holy shit”.
“Yeah. She saw it all.”
“Ohmygod. Why would they? That’s horrible, Cage! Did you tell the authorities? Have them arrested?”
I shook my head. “No. That’s too easy. I wanted to make them pay. I wanted revenge. An eye for a fucking eye.”
“How do you know it was her? Or that roommate of yours?”
I closed my eyes, trying to fight back that morning and the memories that went with it. I didn’t want to remember Eva’s words to me. Those were the hardest. “He told me. He was sitting on the couch after it all went down. Jeremy calling me and everything.” I wouldn’t replay that part for her. “Ace was waiting on me on the couch. He was smirking at me. He said to have a nice trip home. Was sorry I couldn’t stick around. It all started coming together for me. He was the pitcher. I asked him if he knew about this and he said he’d orchestrated it all. He found my weakness and he’d used it against me.” I stopped and took a deep breath. “He didn’t realize how successfully he’d destroyed my world. The only thing he said that morning that I keep reminding myself over and over again was that I didn’t sleep with the girl. It was all set up. I did make out with her against a pool table with a crowd of witnesses. But according to other guys on the team, I was calling her… Eva. I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. Even in my drugged-up state, I thought I was with Eva. I wasn’t cheating in my head. I didn’t know.” My chest hurt, but hearing her name on my lips eased some pain.
Low let out a breath she’d been holding. “Oh God, Cage. Have you explained this to Eva?”
I shook my head. “I can’t. She… She told me it was over. She didn’t let me explain. She told me I was her biggest mistake.”
“But, Cage, she was hurting! She had just seen something that destroyed her. I can’t imagine seeing Marcus like that with another girl. It would kill me. She is dealing with the pain of her daddy dying and then this. Of course she wanted to hurt you because she was hurting. It’s been weeks now. Call her. Go see her.”
I couldn’t. She hadn’t called. She hadn’t tried to contact me once. She hadn’t trusted me enough. Wasn’t trust part of love? She believed I didn’t love her, but she sure didn’t give me a chance to say anything.
“She didn’t trust me.”
Low reached over and took my hand in hers. “She was hurting.”
“She didn’t trust me. How can she love me if she doesn’t trust me?” I shook my head and stood up. “I can’t, Low. She closed the door. She ended this. She didn’t listen to me. She didn’t give me a chance.” I wanted to shut up. I wanted to stop talking, but my mouth kept going. “I believe she wanted out. I believe she saw how short life was with her daddy and she realized I wasn’t what she wanted in life. Not me. I wasn’t enough. So she took this excuse and she used it. If she’d wanted me, she would have fought for me. She would have wanted me to tell her this wasn’t real. She would have fucking believed me.”
Low sat there looking up at me with sad eyes, but she finally nodded and stood up. “Okay. I think you’re wrong, but I also know you’re hurting. I just hope you don’t wait too long.”
“She didn’t fight for me,” I repeated. For myself more than Low.
Low walked over and threaded her fingers through mine. “You didn’t fight for her either. Eva isn’t like your momma, Cage. Eva didn’t up and leave you alone because she just didn’t give a shit. She was destroyed. Sometimes you have to trust that you’re worth it and you have to fight for what you want. Eva is what you want. You know that and I know that. Anyone with eyes knows that.”
Low didn’t understand. No one did. No one had heard her tell me I was her biggest mistake. The cold, even tone in her voice. She’d meant it. Just like my momma had when she’d called me her biggest mistake, she’d meant it.
How could I fight for someone who didn’t want me?
“We miss you. I miss you. I wish you’d come home.”
I missed Low too. I missed my friends but not enough. Not enough to face Sea Breeze with all its memories of Eva. “I can’t, Low. I just can’t.”
“Well, until you can, then I guess I’ll come here as long as this baby and Marcus allow,” she said with a sigh.
“You’re stomach is huge, Low,” I said, looking down at her and wanting to change the subject to anything else.
“Shut up,” she snapped, and I almost laughed. Almost.
Chapter Fourteen
EVA
I wasn’t sure how much longer my daddy was going to be able to sit in his recliner and talk to me. He was going downhill and fast. Some days he never made it out of bed. And my stomach was now showing. I couldn’t continue to hide it. My baggy shirts weren’t going to work much longer. I asked Jeremy to come over after he had dinner at home. I wasn’t cooking dinner anymore. Daddy couldn’t eat it. He rarely ate. The feeding tube that the Hospice nurse put in him kept him fed for the most part.
I was going to tell them both about the baby that night. I had worried over if I should tell Daddy or not. I didn’t want him worrying about me, but I wanted him to know. One of my parents needed to know they were going to be a grandparent. Even if it wasn’t the ideal situation.
There was a swift knock on the screen door before Jeremy stepped into the kitchen. He smiled at me, but the look on my face wiped his smile away. I didn’t want to be making a huge mistake. Maybe telling Jeremy first and seeing what he thought I should do would be best. I needed a second opinion.
“I’m pregnant,” I blurted it out, then slapped my hands over my mouth in shock. I hadn’t meant to do that.
Jeremy grabbed the nearest chair to him and sat down with a look of disbelief on his face. He didn’t take his eyes off me, and I continued to cover my mouth for fear of what else I would say if I uncovered it.
“How?” he asked, looking horrified.
I dropped my hands and wrung them nervously in front of me. “Cage. I’ve known for a few months. I just… I don’t know if I should tell Daddy. I want him to know he’s going to be a grandfather. But I don’t want to worry him. What do I do?” I asked, hoping Jeremy had some knowledge I didn’t.
Jeremy hung his head and then shook it as he let the news digest. I hadn’t exactly eased him into it. “Damn, Eva. I don’t know. I mean, I think he should know, but he’s not doing so good now.”
“I know,” I said, sitting down in the chair across from him. “I know,” I repeated.
We sat in silence for several minutes. Then Jeremy looked up at me with a determined gleam in his eyes. “He’ll want to know. He deserves to know this. He is gonna worry about you doing this alone. I can fix that. Marry me, Eva. Before your daddy dies, marry me.”
I had no words. I sat there and stared at him like he had lost his mind, because I was pretty sure he had. Marry him? What was he thinking? How could I marry him?
“What? How? I don’t… ,” I shook my head and stood back up. “Absolutely not. I am not marrying you so I can fix my problems. Nothing about that is okay. You have a life, Jer. A life! I am not taking that from you.” I had to work to keep my voice from getting louder. I didn’t want Daddy to hear me.
Jeremy stood up and reached for my hand and pulled me close to him. Closer than I’d ever been when I wasn’t crying or hugging him. It was… different. “I know that you’re heart isn’t available. I know it may never be available again. I’m okay with that. We work well together, Eva. I know you better than anyone. I love you. Sure, we’re not in love, but we love each other. We have something stronger than most marriages do when they start out. I can be happy with you, Eva. I think over time our feelings would change too. Let me do this. Let me do this for you, the baby, and your daddy.”
No. I wouldn’t do it. I couldn’t. He wanted to give too much this time. Jeremy wasn’t an object I could use to fix my problems. He was a man who deserved to love as deeply as I had loved and to feel that same love back. I would not keep him from that. He should have children of his own. He should have the girl of his dreams walk down the aisle to him one day. Not me.
“I can’t do that to you. I won’t. I love you so much for offering. For believing it would work. You give all the time. I don’t ever give back. But this time I will not let you give up your happiness for me.”
Jeremy swallowed so hard, I could hear it. “Shit. I really didn’t want to tell you this. I wanted to hold it in because it’s the right thing to do. I’ve decided I don’t give a fuck about what’s right anymore. I’m in love with you, Eva. I have been in love with you since we were five years old. You just chose the other brother. Then Cage walked into your life and I watched how you were so easily attracted to him a way you never looked at me. I dealt with it. I stepped back and let him have you. I’d lived my whole life being the one you didn’t love back. It was okay. Then Cage fucked you over and I let myself go. I let myself love you. Completely. So, when I’m asking you to marry me, I am asking you as the woman I’m in love with. I’m pretty damn sure I’ll love you until I die. I’ve loved you as long as I can remember.”
Whoa.
Oh my God.
I was asleep. This did not just happen.
“I… I… You love me?” Wrapping my head around that was the hardest part.
“Yes.”
“But I’m pregnant with Cage York’s baby,” I said in such a low voice, it sounded like I was whispering.
“You say yes and that baby becomes mine.”
