Текст книги "Darkest distiny"

Автор книги: Pepper winters

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Текущая страница: 14 (всего у книги 22 страниц)

Chapter Thirty-Three

I STOOD ON THE ROOF OF the highest tower.

Rain soaked into my clothes as I held my face to the sky. Below me, the braziers and torches of Cinderkeep burned in perpetuity, thanks to Brimstone Industries’ patented volcanic energy.

I’d feared I would live here until they either broke me, cloned me, or I died of natural old age.

But...I finally had hope.

That delicious, sickening emotion I’d completely forgotten about now burned right alongside the pain of the vitalsync core.

Except...hope somehow had her name.

She was meant to be nothing more than a tool. A blessing I hadn’t expected to find that could somehow quiet the static in my head, ease the fire in my blood, and give me just enough strength to get the fuck out of here.

But she kept confusing me, choosing me...

Was she telling the truth that she wouldn’t trade my secrets for money? Was it real when she got angry on my behalf?

Or was it fake?

Because having her defend me? Hearing her confess that she wouldn’t betray me...

Fuck, that did something to me.

If she was real—if she truly was on my side—she was quite possibly the most terrifying thing to ever happen to me because what if I began to believe it?

Only for it all to be a lie?

I could already feel my sanity threatening to crack.

The despair she delivered each time she did something nice for me made me beg for Marcus to have given her to me sooner—to never have known how awful life could be all by myself.

But it also paralysed me because if I got used to her—if I started to feel...and it all turned out to be nothing more than another game...

Fuck.

I should get rid of her myself.

I should kill her, so she never had the opportunity to hurt me.

Out of everyone who’d ever abused, tortured, and controlled me, she could be the worst.

I couldn’t stop thinking about her.

Couldn’t stop wanting things, needing things, craving things—

She’s dangerous.

My hands curled.

Whatever she was and whatever feelings she dragged awake, I couldn’t let her distract me.

She was nothing more than a means to an end, that was all.

With her help, all the pieces I needed would soon be in place.

And after twenty godforsaken years...I’d be free.

Either dead or outside these walls, I didn’t really care anymore.

Because finally, after two agonising decades, it would all be over.

Chapter Thirty-Four

I COULDN’T GET WARM.

No matter how tightly I wrapped myself in the blankets or how many jumpers I threw on, shivers lived in my bones.

I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

How he’d taught me to kill.

How he’d accidentally landed on me, kissed me, shot me down and—

God, stop.

I couldn’t do it.

He made my system turn crazy and the pain was too much.

I’d been so wrapped up in him, I hadn’t been aware how close I’d been to burning out.

Having him force me to hold a knife against his throat. Having him so close and angry and intense.

The moment I’d stumbled into my pavilion...I’d paid for every word, every look, every second of anxiety and scalding-hot connection.

All night, I’d suffered.

Dawn had arrived and I’d begged the migraine to stop.

I clung to my raindrop pendant, wishing it could take away my misery, just like my mother claimed it could.

My mouth watered for something bitter and metallic as red, red, red filled my mind. Bone-aching regret crippled me that Evelyn had stolen Lucien’s blood.

I would’ve happily swallowed the entire vial.

I would’ve gotten over my aversion of what it was because it was the only thing that could help me.

“God...please.” I pressed my palms against my eyes, trying to shut out the light as the dawn turned to brighter day.

I couldn’t exist like this much longer.

My teeth rattled as I curled up into a ball beneath the blankets.

A soft growl echoed from outside my little nest. Something firm nuzzled against me, trying to find me beneath the covers. Vertigo made my vision dance as I pulled them back and met Whisper’s glowing gaze.

His massive silhouette filled everything. His whiskers flared as if scenting my pain.

Balling my hands under my chin, doing my best not to tremble, I whispered, “If you’re here to take me to Lucien, I can’t today.”

The bed dipped as he leapt over me and settled his enormous warm weight against my spine. I whimpered as the motion jarred my head.

He immediately stilled as if he knew he’d hurt me.

Gritting my teeth against fresh nausea, I turned to face him. He watched me, head cocked, ears pricked. Leaning down, he pressed his velvet muzzle against my temple with a surprising gentleness.

Tears stung my eyes.

“Whisper.” My voice broke. “It hurts.”

The panther rumbled a deep, vibrating purr as if he understood. Lying down, he slung a heavy front leg over me.

I froze as he nuzzled my hair.

I choked on a sob as he settled close.

He offered such comfort. Such protection. Such kindness.

With a gasp of absolute gratitude, I clutched his fur. His claws unsheathed, catching on the covers as he kneaded me.

For the first time since I lost everything, I had someone hold me while I shattered.

I didn’t have to pretend I wasn’t broken.

Didn’t have to suffer alone.

I couldn’t help it.

I cried.

I gave in to huge wracking sobs that made my head splinter but somehow felt so, so good.

Whisper growled, the rumble like an earthquake in his chest.

His sandpaper tongue tugged my hair as he licked me.

I cried harder.

“ROOK!” Laura’s voice rang sharp with panic. “Get off her, you vile beast!”

No.

What?

What was she doing here?

Whisper snarled, loud and vicious. Launching to his feet, he stood over me, bristling and violent.

My vision faded in and out as I rolled over and gawked at the girl who’d been dragged into this mess like me.

Laura’s face turned ghost white, her eyes round with terror. “Get off her! S-Stop eating her!”

Eating me?

Whisper rumbled a bone-shattering growl, fangs bared, and black gums wet with saliva.

“Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.” Her voice turned shrill as her gaze flew around my room.

“Laura—” I coughed, wincing as fresh agony stabbed my skull, making me blind for a second. “It’s okay. He’s fine—”

“He’s killing you!”

“No, he’s—” I gasped as nausea splashed up my throat. In my hazy sight, she flung herself toward the kitchen. Toward the silver thing glinting there. The dagger that Lucien had given me.

Absolute horror tore through my middle.

“Laura, don’t—!”

She snatched it up and came running.

“STOP!” My voice broke, but she didn’t listen.

Launching herself at the bed, she slashed as Whisper snapped his jaws, roaring loud enough to shake the pavilion’s foundations.

She whimpered in terror but lunged again.

The blade flashed, catching his shoulder with a brutal slice.

Whisper howled.

“NO!” My scream ripped my throat as I threw myself from the bed, clutched my pounding head, and tried to get between them. Whisper staggered back, legs getting tangled in my covers, hackles high, blood coating his midnight fur.

Laura brandished the knife again, her face drawn but determined. “Stay the hell away from her!”

Rushing her, I tried to shut down my pain. “He wasn’t hurting me!”

“His teeth were moments away from sinking into your neck!”

“He was helping!”

Her mouth hung open, her eyes bugging. “Helping? Have you lost your mind?”

“H-He’s my friend.” Snatching the dagger from her hand, I clutched it tight. “I know what it looks like but he’s gentle. I promise.”

Backing up, her eyes locked on Whisper as the bleeding panther jumped off the bed and snarled. Spittle dripped from his fangs as he prepared to pounce.

Shit.

Spinning around, I flung my arms wide, doing my best to block Laura from his view. “She didn’t mean to hurt you. She was just worried about me, that’s all.”

Whisper flattened himself, his tail flicking. Any second, he’d spring onto the girl who was slowly becoming a friend and I wouldn’t be able to stop him slaughtering her right in front of me.

So, I did the only thing I could.

Tossing away the knife, not caring it went skittering across the floor, I dropped to my knees and wrapped my arms around his stiff, growl-vibrating neck. “Please don’t hurt her.” I didn’t know if he understood English, but I begged anyway. “Please?”

My headache thundered and my heart skipped, but I flatly forbade myself from passing out. If I did, Laura would die.

Whisper’s snarl quietened a little as I pressed my face to his huge solid cheek. “You’re okay. I’ll fix this. It’s just a crazy misunderstanding.”

He sat up from his pounce, knocking me aside. Studying me, he stopped snarling. For a moment, I swore I saw betrayal in his stare before he glanced at his bleeding shoulder.

With a dramatic hiss at Laura, he broke into a run.

In a streak of black, the panther raced out of my pavilion, leaving behind a few crimson droplets on the floor.

Oh, God.

Oh, God!

Lucien.

Whisper would return to him.

Lucien would murder whoever’d hurt his beloved companion.

I wobbled as my mind threatened to blackout.

Swallowing hard, I staggered to my feet and almost fell against Laura. Grabbing her hand, I commanded, “You have to go. Now. You weren’t here, got it? You didn’t hurt the cat. You know nothing about any of it.”

She scowled, trying to hold me upright as my pain made me double over. “But—”

“No buts.” I pushed her toward the door. “Go.”

She tripped as I propelled her outside and onto the grass. “But you’re—”

“Oh, God.” I dropped to my knees as the sunshine drove a screwdriver into my eyes.

“Rook!” Falling with me, she wrapped an arm around my shoulders and tucked me against her.

And I was done.

The stress and anxiety that I could never control reached their nasty crescendo.

I sagged in her hold, my voice going thin.  “If Lucien comes here and asks who hurt Whisper, it was me, alright?”

“No, I—”

“Do it. For me. He won’t hurt me. But you?” I shuddered, my tongue thick and useless. “Promise me you’ll say it was me.”

“Rook?” She hugged me tighter. “Rook?” She shook me as I slipped closer to that line of forced sleep. “What’s wrong with you?”

“It’s fine.” I struggled to stay awake. “I just have this thing where...I shut down if I’m overwhelmed.”

I lost grip on this world and fell...

Chapter Thirty-Five

THE BROKEN GLASS ON THE TOP OF the walls keeping me in this hell glittered in the sunshine. The streams and lakes twinkled, the trees swayed gently, and the many covered open-air pathways, salas, shrubs, and flowers did their best to paint a picture of serenity and calm.

But all I felt was disgust and despair and smouldering, scorching hate.

I stood on the roof again.

My one place where I didn’t feel so trapped.

The heat from the black stone of the huge mansion warmed my bare feet, but even with the bright afternoon sun, its fire couldn’t compare to the flames in my veins.

I’d shrugged off my coat, letting it fall to the ground. I’d unbuttoned my shirt, baring just enough of my chest to the soft breeze. The metallic glint of the vitalsync core peeked out of my clothes, the lights flashing red.

I needed Rook.

Without her, the pain had returned to unbearable levels.

I hated how quickly I’d grown used to her.

To rely on her.

That wasn’t supposed to happen.

I wasn’t supposed to need anyone.

My hands balled as another flush of misery made my knees buckle.

Why the fuck wasn’t she here yet?

Why hadn’t she turned up this morning?

Anger rose.

It was easier to be angry than admit I was worried.

I should’ve gone to fetch her the moment the pain crept to crippling levels, but I’d left it too long and the thought of walking across the meadow now...I wouldn’t make it.

A noise wrenched my head to the side as the unlatched door by the tower swung open.

Claws scraped on stone as Whisper appeared from the shadows, head low, body stiff, the slightest limp as he moved toward me. My eyes narrowed on his shoulder where his glossy black pelt looked wet. The sun glimmered, turning black to scarlet.

My heart rate climbed.

The vitalsync core beeped in warning, thanks to my pulse touching that warning line.

My fists balled as pure fury flowed through me.

Fucking bastards and their fucking leash.

Motherfucking assholes for keeping me so weak and useless and burning.

I couldn’t even be concerned for the most important creature in the world to me. Couldn’t let my system feel fear or worry or panic.

“You’re hurt.” My voice came out cold and heartless, doing my best to stay conscious.

Whisper stopped beside me and dropped to his haunches. His head tipped up to stare at me. He exhaled heavily, sounding so much like an exasperated human, I forgot that he wasn’t one.

A grunt echoed in his barrel of a chest as he twisted and licked his injury.

My gaze flew to the furthest pavilion on the outskirts of the woods.

Rook.

She’d better have a good excuse for not coming.

Her absence had condemned me to yet another day of absolute misery. A day that I wouldn’t see much more of because any moment now the pain would become too much, and I’d succumb.

Gritting my teeth, I used what meagre strength I had left to bend over and stop Whisper from cleaning his wound. He hissed a little but obeyed, licking his lips free from blood.

Running a shaking finger over the shallow slice, relief filled me. “It’s not deep. You’ll be okay.”

Nudging me out of the way, he resumed his licking.

Fine, let him heal himself.

I wasn’t any use to him in my current condition.

“Who did it?” I staggered forward, holding onto the parapet as another flash of fire shot through me.

Whisper bared his teeth but kept licking.

Sweat rolled down my temples as I dug my fingernails into the rock. “Fine. Keep your secrets. However, you’ll have to fight your own battles today, I’m afraid.”

He made a soft grunting sound and came to lean against me.

My right hand stopped clawing at the stone and dropped to his head. Touching him sometimes helped. Borrowing his brutish power was sometimes the only way I stayed conscious. Scratching behind his ears, my gaze slid back to the wall trapping me in this estate of horrors.

I glowered at the sensors, cameras, locks, and barricades.

I wished I could blow them all up. Tear them apart and smash them to pieces.

A hot flash of agony had me groaning and abandoning those thoughts.

A steady buzz grew louder.

My fingers froze around Whisper’s ear as a drone appeared, its shadow drifting over me as it hovered, putting itself in a position of authority.

I bared my teeth, wishing I could shoot it down and destroy the message it was about to deliver.

“Fuck off, Marcus.” I swallowed hard as a rush of nausea warned me I was mere moments from being knocked out.

“Is that any way to talk to your nearest and dearest friend?”

I didn’t bother answering. I wouldn’t waste the last dregs of energy on him.

The drone dropped a little lower—but not too low. They’d learned to stay out of swiping distance after I’d managed to destroy a few.

Marcus’s voice crackled through the speaker. “I’ve been waiting for good news, Lucien. I’ll admit, I’m a little disappointed that you haven’t progressed.”

I grinned, wishing I had fangs as sharp as Whisper’s. “Is that why you’re punishing me so much lately? For something you think I should’ve done?”

“It’s not a punishment,” Marcus drawled, his tone smug and faintly amused. “It’s merely a correction. You’ve had that girl in your house almost every day since she arrived. Tell me, seeing as you refuse to let us have cameras inside, have you fucked her yet?”

My mind filled with images of being with her in that way. Of finding out what it would be like to kiss and touch and give in.

The idea didn’t disgust me nearly as much as it should have.

I smirked. “Why? Are you jealous?”

“I merely need to know if today is the day I can stay true to my promise.”

“What? To finally kill me?”

The drone’s speaker system hissed with white noise. “You know you mean so much to me, Lucien. It pains me that you don’t see that.”

I laughed. Marcus’s lies would never stop being funny. But then my laugh turned to a groan, and I wobbled, fighting the fog creeping over my thoughts. “Nice of you to say such things while your finger is on that little button feeding me whatever drugs keep me useless.”

“It could all stop you know.” The drone circled me. Whisper snapped his jaws, swiping with his huge paw. “All you have to do is get one of them pregnant. The moment we have confirmation of your child in someone’s belly—”

“I’m not your breeding whore.”

“—I’ll personally collect you and take you home.”

“I am home.”

“You know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t.” My skin drenched in sweat as I continued to fight the burn.

“Stop being difficult. Just have a little fun and knock one of them up. How hard is that?”

“Fine.” I smirked. “Say I do...will you let me go? Will you completely forget about me and never come after me again if I get one of these trespassing rats pregnant?”

“If you work with us instead of against us. If you prove to us you’re willing to run Brimstone Industries under our guidance and do what we ask for the sake of your legacy, of course we’ll leave you alone. You may live your life however you wish.”

“Bull. Shit.”

“You always were a pain in my ass,” Marcus muttered, showing his true colours.

I chuckled around my pain. “Fuck you too.”

“This hurts me as much as it hurts you, you know.”

“Sure, it does.” I flung my hand up, delivering a vulgar finger at the drone. “Go jump off a cliff, Marcus.”

“When you wake up, meditate on your choices, Lucien.” The vitalsync core beeped as another flash of red released the final dose I’d never been able to withstand. “Either pass on your blood to a nameless child that will mean nothing to you, or continue to suffer until you obey.”

My vision went white as the pain surged, doubling, tripling—a flood of molten magma in my veins. I fell to both knees, my breath hitching, fingers clawing at the disc surgically implanted in my chest.

The drone lingered above me, watching as I fell to the side and convulsed.

Marcus sighed. “I really hope that one day you’ll behave. But until that day...suffer well.”

My eyes rolled back as sunlight broke into shards.

The last thing I saw was Whisper as he roared at the drone, leapt into the sky, and swatted it.

He smashed it against the roof.

And as he tore out the innards of the flying spy, the world folded in on itself, taking me with it, hurtling me into a volcano of pain.

Chapter Thirty-Six

“AH, YOU’RE HERE!” DASHING OUT OF the bathroom where I’d finished washing away yesterday’s awfulness, I skidded to a stop in front of Whisper. The black cotton dress I’d chosen made my already washed-out skin extra noticeable, revealing I still wasn’t feeling the best.

The panther stiffened at my sudden arrival but then broke into loud purrs as I bent over and bear-hugged him. “Thank God you’re okay!”

It was a testament to how gentle and wonderful he was that he merely accepted my worship.

Pulling away, I winced at the long, thin line across his shoulder. His fur was so thick, it obscured most of the wound—just the slightest stiffness of the strands revealed where his skin had scabbed over.

“Can I touch it?” I eyed him warily.

He didn’t react, so I took that as a yes.

Bracing myself, I ran my fingers lightly over the cut. No heat. No swelling. It seemed as though Laura hadn’t caused too much damage.

Thank goodness.

Last night, she hadn’t done what I’d begged and left. She’d stayed, even at the risk of Lucien coming to claim me. But it seemed he hadn’t shown, because she said she’d watched over me all alone. I hadn’t been very entertaining, and she’d finally accepted my assurances that I was okay and left me alone by midnight.

I’d tossed and turned the rest of the night, wondering why Lucien hadn’t come for me.

Was he okay?

Was Whisper okay?

Three times I’d gotten out of bed and made it halfway out of my pavilion before shaking my head and scurrying back to bed.

Even if I wanted to check on him, travelling through the fire-burning estate at two in the morning would almost definitely end with me being murdered.

I straightened and headed to the kitchen.

Grabbing the honey from the well-supplied cupboard, I returned to Whisper, unscrewed the jar, and held it out. “Will you let me put some of this on it? I don’t have any proper creams or bandages, but honey is antibacterial, antiseptic, and a great healer.”

The panther wrinkled his nose, his whiskers flaring.

But he didn’t move, so I took that as another yes.

“You know...” I scooped up a little bit of honey and dropped to my haunches beside him. “Your master never came for me yesterday.” Smearing the thick sweetness over his cut, I kept my touch as light as possible. “Is he okay?”

Almost as if he understood, his gaze flicked to mine, his eyebrows pulling together.

I froze. “Wait, he’s not okay?”

He slouched.

“What happened to him?” I smeared the rest of the honey in a rush.

I had to go.

Was that why Lucien never came for me? Because he couldn’t?

Screwing the lid back on, I dashed into the kitchen to rinse my fingers. Shaking off the droplets, I hurried back to Whisper.

“Hey, stop that,” I ordered.

Whisper grumbled as I tried to stop him licking the honey off his shoulder.

I rolled my eyes. “I should’ve seen that coming, shouldn’t I?”

He smacked his lips.

“That wasn’t supposed to be a treat, you know.”

He kept licking, his pink raspy tongue dragging over his fur.

Ugh, whatever.

“We have to go. Right now.”

Whisper immediately headed toward the door.

Chasing after him, I slipped on my flip-flops and left the pavilion.

As we ran through the sprawling gorgeous gardens, past pagodas and koi-carp-filled ponds, my mind raced.

I wasn’t sure if I was running to save Lucien...or running because I couldn’t stand another hour without seeing him, but the closer we got to the black stone palace, the more I fretted about how we’d left things and all the complicated feelings that refused to leave.

I...didn’t want to fight with him anymore.

I didn’t want to have to protect myself from how he made me feel and all the urges that’d steadily gotten worse.

He might be treated like a beast. Caged like one. Tortured like one. And ready to kill all those who threatened the meagre life he had, but...he was more than that to me now.

“What could I do for your master to show I’m on his side?” I asked Whisper as we cut up the steps of Cinderkeep.

The panther shot me an odd look and kept moving.

I had nothing to offer, apart from myself.

I couldn’t break him out, and I couldn’t buy him anything.

I didn’t know his likes and dislikes, and I had nothing of value in here.

“I want to thank him,” I whispered. “I want to show him how much I appreciate that he bled himself for me. That he recognised my pain and tried to stop me from suffering. If he’s suffering too, then I want to try to do the same.”

Whisper might have a large vocabulary and seemed almost human with his mannerisms but...he was still just a panther and gave me no answers.

I ran into the palace anyway, seeking out the one man to ever affect me.