Текст книги "The demons queen"

Автор книги: Katee Robert

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Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 10 страниц)

CHAPTER 15

EVE

Once, Pope took the lot of us to some kind of harvest festival, and we had one hell of a good time with the spiked cider and apple picking. This is a lot like that . . . and also not.

It seems like the entire village has come out in celebration. There’s a four-person band striking up a tune. The food smells amazing. Children dart through the gathered people, giggling and shouting with glee. Teenagers make eyes at one another from their respective friend groups. This isn’t a party with an eye for tourists; this is for this community, a social event that it seems like everyone pitched in to make happen. Now they get to enjoy the fruits of their labor.

“Eve.”

Two couples begin to dance. Then three. Then four. The people gathered quickly move back to create an open space for them to spin one another around. My heart lurches at the joy on the dancers’ faces.

“Eve.”

I can’t quite tear my gaze away. Not even for Azazel. “What?”

“Would you like to dance?”

I know what I should say, but I can’t quite dredge up the anger that’s been brimming beneath my skin since the moment I woke up in this realm and realized what he’d done. It’s not that I forgive him—I don’t know what it will take to get there, or if it’s even possible. It’s more that I’m starting to fully understand the kind of man Azazel is . . . to recognize in him the client I shared meals and conversations with over the years. The stories he told me may have been edited, but they seem to hold a core truth.

Or maybe it’s the call of the fiddle-like instrument one of the band members is playing, insistent and tempting. I don’t know, but I set my hand in Azazel’s and let him pull me onto the impromptu dance floor. I’m not short, but he’s massive, and it feels a little absurd as he carefully places one hand on my waist.

Staring up at his roughly handsome face has my heart doing unforgivable things. I shiver at the naked need in his eyes as he leads me around the circle, picking up speed once I get the rhythm down. There don’t seem to be specific steps, but we dance and dance until I’m dizzy and the whole world narrows to the man tethering me with a perfectly polite touch.

I can’t stop myself from laughing in giddiness. It’s worth it, because Azazel loses some of his intensity and grins down at me, relaxing for the first time in . . . I don’t know. Ever, maybe?

“Ready for a spin?” He doesn’t wait for me to reply before he changes his grip on my hand and sends me whirling before him. He catches my hip again, continuing to move with my momentum, as someone cheers in the background—Alice, I think.

As I’m dancing with Azazel, it’s so easy to forget all the bad things that have happened. At least for a little while. The song changes and changes again, and neither of us flags or suggests a break. My breathing comes hard, sweat gathers along my spine, and my muscles ache from more use than I’ve given them since arriving here.

Except for the sex.

There’s no use thinking about that right now. Not when every nerve ending feels alive and brimming with lightning. Not when Azazel’s big hand is on my waist, his heart in his onyx eyes.

The music shifts. I glance over to find the drummer and the one playing a guitar-like instrument sitting back, sweat sheening their foreheads. They laugh and accept frothing mugs of beer, obviously ready to take a break. The fiddler turns the tune to something soft and achingly sweet.

We slow alongside the other dancers. Azazel clears his throat. “We can rest if you like.”

“Not a chance.” I laugh breathlessly. “I love to dance.”

“I’m beginning to see the attraction.” His fingers flex against my hip. “Eve⁠—”

It’s clear he’s about to apologize again. I shake my head. “We don’t have to talk about it again. I may not like what you did, but I’m beginning to understand why.” I glance around. Everyone is so fucking happy. “What happens to orphans in this realm?” The question pops out before I have a chance to change my mind.

Azazel tenses slightly before seeming to make an attempt to relax into the gentle sway of our slow dance. “It’s different in every territory, and even in mine, it varies. In most cases, a child would go to the nearest family member.”

My throat feels thick. It’s so silly. I’ve had a lifetime of therapy to work through the loss of my parents. I may have ended up in foster care, but I was one of the lucky ones. Though my first few sets of foster parents passed me on when they got what they really wanted—a baby—my final set weren’t all that bad. Overstretched and drowning, they did their best with what they had. They never hurt their kids. The bare minimum, but better than some of the stories I’ve heard over the years. Getting handed a check and a backpack when I graduated hurt—a lot—but so many people have had it worse.

I don’t know what Azazel reads in my expression. He does me a kindness and continues. “In villages like this, if there’s no family, everyone comes together and decides who is best prepared to take the child—or children. Then the village does what it can to supplement things so that isn’t a burden on the primary caregiver.”

“Is this one of the other things you supplement?”

He glances down. “Yes.”

Of course it is. Because Azazel cares about his people and uses his power to help them on multiple levels. “What about the city?”

“We have specific families and programs that help them.” He meets my gaze steadily. “On its surface, it’s not dissimilar to the foster care system in your world, but those families are all supported—and monitored—on multiple levels. In the villages, everyone will intervene if something goes awry. In the city, it’s more formal. I won’t pretend that every family is perfect or that there haven’t been bad things that happened, but we work hard to ensure the children are protected.”

The awful feeling in my throat gets worse. “That sounds like it’s too good to be true.”

“It’s not a perfect system. In a perfect system, there would be no need for foster families.” He clears his throat. “But there are fewer children who are in need of parents or guardians now than there were when we were constantly at war.”

Damn him. I swallow hard. “You’re making it really hard to hate you.”

He smiles wanly. “I’m sorry.” Azazel turns us and moves away from the dancing, though he keeps a hold on my hand. “Let’s get you something to eat and drink.”

The moment we reach the table, he’s mobbed. I nibble on a cake that manages to be both savory and sweet and watch the old folk pass Azazel around. He submits to their questions about when he’ll get married and have children with faint laughter and an easy diversion that says he’s been through this song and dance plenty of times before. He even kisses a damn baby at one point, holding them easily in his massive hands. I refuse to acknowledge the lurch in my stomach at the sight.

He may not be fully comfortable in this setting, receiving this attention, but he’s quite good at it. And they all clearly love him. Why wouldn’t they? The changes he’s enacted have positively benefited their lives, families, and communities.

It doesn’t excuse the danger he’s put me in . . . but I’m having a hard time holding on to my anger. This is so much bigger than me. Yes, I wouldn’t be in this mess if he hadn’t spent the last few years as one of my best clients, but . . . It’s not as if I didn’t enjoy the time with him. It’s not as if I didn’t encourage him to keep booking me, to keep choosing me above the other professionals, even though I knew we were in danger of crossing several of my lines. If I’d told him to leave me alone, he would have.

But I didn’t want him to go.

Alice plops down next to me, an easy grin on her face. “You know, I thought it was one-sided, but you’re gone for him too, aren’t you?” She ignores my shocked expression and keeps chatting in that deceptively casual tone. “Don’t bother to deny it. You’re sitting here watching him like you’re seeing the next fifty, seventy, hundred years stretch out before you and you don’t hate the idea of it.”

I blink. “I’m thirty-five. There’s no way I’ll live another hundred years.”

“You will if you stay here. It has something to do with the magic infused in every bit of our realm. It makes people live longer. And yes, it does apply to humans. Not everyone who makes a deal goes home at the end of their seven years.”

Seven years. Not a lifetime.

My anger tries to bloom again, but it sputters and sparks, not gaining momentum. I’m so damn tired of fighting. I don’t know what that means for my future, but Azazel isn’t a monster. He’s a man who’s made mistakes.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I finally say.

Alice takes a long drink of her beer. “He’s getting close to his limit. I’ll distract them, and you get him out of here.”

I glance at her in surprise. She’s been boisterous and irreverent this whole time, but I should have realized there’s a keen and caring mind under all that attitude. “I can do that.”

“Good girl.” Alice bounces to her feet and moves toward the band. A new song begins, and she lifts her mug over her head. “To Azazel!”

“To Azazel!” the crowd cheers. They flock to Alice, cheering and dancing.

The man himself appears at my side a moment later, looking a little hunted. “How are you holding up?”

“Come on.” I take his hand. “Let’s get out of here.” Within seconds, we’ve slipped away. The sounds of celebration follow us into the trees and then finally fade to silence as we keep walking, putting distance between us and the village.

It’s only when we’ve been accompanied by what I assume are the normal night sounds of the trees—it’s not as if I have much experience with nature—that Azazel slows his stride and squeezes my hand. “Sorry about that. I didn’t expect a full event. I should have, knowing Alice.”

“It was fun.”

He pauses and gives me a look. “You don’t have to say that.”

“I know.” I find myself squeezing his hand back. “But it’s the truth. You dance well.”

“So do you.”

This is awkward but not in a painful way. Almost like we’re just meeting, just feeling each other out. It’s strange, especially considering I know what he sounds like when he comes.

Azazel loosens his grip like he might drop my hand, but I give him another squeeze and lace my fingers through his. “They love you.”

“They don’t know me.” He shrugs. “Well, Alice does, but she’s family. It’s not the same.”

My heart twinges, but I’m too content for it to be more than a passing ache. “I wouldn’t know.”

He gives me a sharp look. “Family isn’t only blood. Pope knows you better than anyone.”

My body flushes hot and then cold. “I’m aware.” I swallow hard. I’ve been very pointedly not thinking about Pope too often, but they slip into my thoughts more and more as time goes on. “I miss them.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” He doesn’t look at me. “After I deal with Brosh, I’ll take you home. It never should have gotten this out of control. I never should have panicked. The thought of you being hurt . . .” Azazel gives himself a shake and drops my hand. “I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was only reacting.”

I could call him a liar, could ask him how long it took him to write up that contract and if that counted as solely reacting. I don’t. It would hurt for the sake of hurting, and this moment feels as fragile as a soap bubble. “Azazel?”

“Yes?”

There are so many things I could say right now. The possibilities choke me. Today has shown me a different side of Azazel, but one that’s so intimately familiar, reminding me I’ve known him for years. In the back of my mind, I’ve spent this entire time trying to reconcile the man I thought I knew and the monster who tricked and then kidnapped me. Today gave me both. They’re the same. Facets of a single gem, priceless beyond measure.

I inhale deeply and stop. Azazel takes a few more steps before he realizes I’m not keeping pace. He turns to face me. “Eve?”

I close the distance between us slowly. “I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive you.”

His expression goes tormented even as his gaze heats. “I know.”

“But I’m . . .” I take another deep breath and press my hands to his chest. This feels scarier than anything I’ve experienced thus far, and that includes the attack the other day. “No matter how hard I try, I can’t stop myself from caring.”

“Eve,” he breathes. “You don’t have to.”

But I’ve started and now I can’t stop. “I don’t know what it means for the future or for us or for anything, but I’m so damn tired of fighting. I just want . . .”

He waits. It seems like he barely breathes, like he’d stand right here and be content to listen to me falter my way through this for years.

“I just want you,” I finish in a whisper.

Finally—finally—Azazel moves. He catches my hips and pulls me flush with his body. “Stay with me tonight?”

There’s only one answer. There’s only ever been one answer. “Yes.”

I don’t know how we get back to the castle. It feels like a fever dream of kisses and stumbling steps and questing hands that never quite reach where we need them. Between one step and the next, the forest fades away to be replaced by stone walls and then a familiar scent.

The castle took us to my garden.

Azazel strokes a hand down my spine and looks around. “We could⁠—”

“I don’t want to wait any more.” I shove at his shirt. “Please, Azazel.”

He lifts his arms, but he has to lower the rest of his body so I can get the tunic over his head. I toss it to the ground and go for his pants. He catches my wrists. “Eve⁠—”

“If I don’t get your cock in my mouth right now, I’m going to lose it.”

He blinks. For a moment, I think he might argue, but he finally releases my wrists. “You don’t have to.”

“I’m aware.” I slide his pants down his hips, freeing his thick cock. I love oral sex, both giving and receiving, and there’s been a distinct lack of the former in my life. “Now be a good Daddy and try not to come too fast and ruin my fun.”

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CHAPTER 16

AZAZEL

Before this moment, I would have said there’s little Eve could ask of me that I wouldn’t all but kill myself to give her. But this? I stand there, every muscle tense, as she wraps her fist around my cock and, with an impish smile, flicks her tongue over my slit. She’s barely touched me and I’m fighting not to lose it.

I didn’t expect her feelings to change. Why would they? She has every right to hate me, and if I’m going to spend the rest of my life loving her, I know better than to expect something in return.

But today was . . . nice. Exhausting, yes, but those kinds of visits always are. Dancing with Eve, though? Having moments where it almost felt like we were different people in simpler circumstances? It was better than I dared hope—if I had even thought to hope.

“Daddy.” Eve squeezes my cock, her expression going wicked. “Normally when I’m between your thighs, you’re not focused on anything but me.”

“Sorry, baby girl.” I carefully lace my fingers through her hair. It’s longer than she usually wears it, nearly to her shoulders. “I’m here.”

“You will be.” She doesn’t give me a chance to respond, taking my cock in her mouth and sucking me down as if she never needs to breathe.

We’ve been in this exact position before, but never when in my true form. I should have expected it to be different, but up until this moment, with Eve’s cheeks hollowed and her stroking her tongue along the underside of my length, I hadn’t allowed myself to even imagine it.

She cups my balls, squeezing gently and causing lightning to shoot up my spine. Then her gaze sharpens, and her nails prick my sensitive skin. The command is clear enough: eyes on her.

“Enjoying yourself, baby girl?” I murmur.

Eve hums a little and resumes fucking me with her mouth, slow slides with a hint of teeth. She knows exactly what I like, and she gives it to me with everything she’s got. I’m too big for her to take fully, but that only adds to the experience—especially when she uses her hands to make up the difference.

I want this to last forever.

Unfortunately, my body has other ideas. I can’t stop myself from thrusting into her mouth, just a little. She gags and hums again, shifting her grip to my hips, urging me to move, to do it again.

I curse. “Going to come if you don’t slow down.”

She doesn’t slow down. Of course she doesn’t. I thrust again, meeting her mouth, making her gag and tears trail from her eyes even as she keeps it up. I fight to not fist my hands in her hair, to not do anything to hurt her, even a little, and then I’m orgasming, grinding against her lips and teeth as I come down her throat.

Eve keeps sucking me until I pull her off my cock. “Fuck, baby girl.” My knees feel like they’ve turned to liquid. I manage not to collapse, but only barely, as I sink to kneel in front of her.

She licks her lips, looking particularly pleased with herself. “I missed that. A lot.”

“Me too.” I cup her cheeks, use my thumbs to wipe away her tears, and then kiss her. Tasting myself on her tongue is overwhelming. I want this to mean something. I want her to promise things I have no business asking her to promise.

It takes a few moments to get my strength back, and then I tug Eve to her feet. “Come here.” I pull her shirt off, and she seems to realize what I need, because she doesn’t try to help me. She simply lets me undress her, and I trail kisses across her body as I do.

Part of me wants to take her to bed right here and now, but it’s like she was made for this place, the carefully cultivated greenery thick around us, the cobblestones of the pathway beneath my knees. No wonder the castle brought her to this space specifically. No wonder she’s obviously been spending so much time here.

I lift her easily and set her on the table. “Show me.”

Eve understands immediately what I mean. As I take a step back, she spreads her thighs and skates a hand down her stomach to part her folds. She’s so wet, she’s dripping all over the table. Her color is high, and her smile is impish. “Like what you see, Daddy?”

I go to my knees once more, enjoying the bite of stone against them. “I see a godsdamned mess. Better clean you up.” I part her pussy and drag my tongue up her center. She tastes so good. She always tastes so fucking amazing.

“Oh, fuck.” Eve wraps her hands around my horns, letting her head fall back and eyes close. “I’m never going to get enough of your mouth.” She moans. “Daddy, please.”

I’m out of patience. There’s never enough time. There wasn’t before, when I was pretending to be human and measuring my time with her in hours. There isn’t now, when I continue to constantly misstep around her. I want forever with this woman, the frenzied fucking and the lazy lovemaking, but I know better than to say as much.

I impatiently push a finger into her, and then two. “Don’t want to hurt you,” I mutter against her pussy.

“Azazel.” She jerks my horns. “If you hurt me, you can kiss me better later.”

I stand and grab her hips to pull her off the table, then spin her around to bend her over it. I stroke a rough hand down her spine. “Spread for me, baby girl.”

She obeys immediately, moaning when I palm her pussy and resume fucking her with my fingers. She’s ready enough that I won’t harm her, but only barely. Eve rocks back onto my fingers. “Fuck me. Now!”

The table isn’t tall enough to get her where I need her, so I lift her hips, taking her feet clean off the floor, and push into her. I have to work to get the head of my cock past her entrance. I pause, breathing hard. “You’re still too fucking tight.”

Eve wriggles her hips, though she has no leverage to do anything at all. “Then do something about it, Daddy.”

I work my way into her in short strokes. Her body gives way to mine a little at a time, her wetness making everything smoother. My earlier orgasm grants me a little more control this time, but watching her ass jiggle threatens to undo me. “You take me so sweetly.”

Eve pants and shakes. “Fuck me, Daddy.”

“Eve.” I lean down and nip her shoulder as I press all the way into her. “So fucking greedy.”

“Yes,” she moans. “You feel so good.”

I’m rapidly losing the ability to speak. Good doesn’t begin to cover it. This is bliss. This is beyond comprehension. This is love.

“Don’t stop.” Her head falls forward, baring the back of her neck.

I kiss her there as I fuck her slowly, withdrawing almost completely and then thrusting forward again. “I won’t stop. Not until you’re coming for me.” It takes me a few tries to find the exact angle that makes her whimper and shriek, but once I do, I don’t let up. I want to feel my woman come around my cock. She may hate me in the morning, might hate me right fucking now, but she’s begging me not to stop, so I’ll be damned if I don’t give her exactly what she needs.

And then she’s orgasming, her pussy pulsing around my cock and dragging me right over the edge with her. I grind into her as I finish. Gods, I love this woman. Even in this moment, I know better than to say it, but the emotion rolls over me, so strong that I could weep from it.

Things are a bit of a blur after that. I carry Eve into my room, somehow manage a shower, and then we collapse in bed. I think that might be it for the night, but she turns in my arms and kisses my throat. “Azazel?”

I’m instantly hard at the needy tone in her voice. “Yeah, baby?”

She rubs my cock with the heel of her palm. “You promised to kiss me better if I was sore.”

Fuck, the things she does to me with that bratty tone of voice. “You’re tired,” I murmur as I reach behind me for the balm. “You should be asleep.”

“You’re right.” She squeezes just beneath the head of my cock. “I know just the thing to get me there.”

I want to be able to simply enjoy this or even to pretend that this is how it could always be with me and Eve. Her in my bed. Sex and jokes and conversations and us. I know better.

Nothing has changed for her. She’s been honest with me from the start, her anger completely understandable. She may very well not forgive me. But if this is all she’ll allow me to give her, then this is exactly what I’ll do. I tug her leg up over my hip. After dipping my finger into the balm, I press it into her. “How’s this to start?”

She shivers in my arms. “Pretty solid. But I have a better idea.”

Eve pushes on my shoulders, and I allow her to guide me onto my back. She nabs the balm and smears a generous amount on my cock. I freeze. “Eve, that’s not how it’s meant to be used.” I have nothing to heal, but that doesn’t stop the balm from trying. A tingling radiates through my cock, making me hard enough that it’s painful. Fuck.

“I know.” She grins. “But can’t hurt to try.” She tugs me up to sit and grinds against my length. “Unless you want me to stop?”

“You know I don’t.”

“Thought not.” She positions my cock at her entrance and sinks onto me. It’s easier this time, though she still has to work for it, wedging me deeper and deeper until I’m sheathed to the hilt. Eve’s eyes flutter closed. “I was right. Your cock really is ruinous.”

It’s so damned hard to focus with her clenched tight around me. “Do you need to⁠—”

She keeps talking right over me. “How am I supposed to fuck other people when I’ve had you like this, Daddy? How am I supposed to want to?” There’s something in her tone, something soft and sweet and aching.

I cup her face. Maybe this is the most honest we’ll ever be with each other. “Do you want to keep fucking other people?” She may be the only one for me, but I’m well aware that I wasn’t her only client. A possessive part of me always ached knowing she’d be with others the way she was with me, but the thing that irked me the most was the fact that I was just another client to her. She was never truly mine, even if I was hers.

Eve’s lower lip trembles before she firms it. “I don’t know,” she whispers. “I won’t pretend I didn’t enjoy my work, but it was . . . work.”

I don’t know what to say to that. Even if I did, now’s hardly the right time for this conversation. I sit up and wrap my arms around her as she starts to ride me. No matter what else this time brings, I can’t regret it, because she’s here with me. At least for now. To chase the thoughts from my head, I kiss her. Better to lose myself in the moment, in her, than to worry about what comes next.

Eve doesn’t pick up her pace. She slides her hands up my chest and grabs my horns, using the leverage to angle my head back and drag her mouth over my throat. “Azazel?” Her voice is a demand for more. “I’m almost there.”

I grip her hips and guide her to grind harder, working her clit against my stomach. “I’ve got you.”

She orgasms with my name on her lips, and my heart is a fool ten times over because it’s certain this changes things, even as my brain knows better.

Some things can’t be forgiven.

The only thing I can do is remove the threat and send her home, pausing on the way out to ensure she has enough money that she never has to work again if she doesn’t want to. It will mean losing her forever—there’s no world where she’d welcome me as a client still, even if I were willing to continue endangering her. The contract will have to be nullified, but while that process is uncomfortable and will drain my power for a time, it’s a small price to pay. If I hadn’t been so damned selfish, Eve never would have been in danger.

Maybe, if I’d been honest from the start, it wouldn’t have come to this.

Eve reaches between my thighs to cup my balls. Her gaze is a little dazed, but she’s clearly not stopping until I come too. “Get out of that head, Daddy. You’re in my hands now.”

She squeezes, and there’s no holding back my orgasm. I forget myself enough to slam her down on my cock once, twice, four times, and then I’m spilling inside her.

Bargainers don’t believe in an afterlife the way humans do. Our gods are great and unknowable beings who formed the realms and then moved on to do whatever gods do with eternity stretching behind and before them. When we die, we become one with that universe, and sometimes a soul will be pulled back for another chance, many lifetimes in the future.

But if I believed in the concept of heaven—whatever that looks like—then this would be it. Exhausted and spent, Eve relaxes in my arms, tracing abstract patterns on my chest.

She sighs and kisses the spot she was just stroking. “Azazel?”

“Mmmm.”

“If you keep fucking me like that, I might not have any choice but to forgive you.”

She means it as a joke, but I can’t take it as such. Not when it’s about this. I hug her closer and press a kiss to her forehead. “You’ll always have a choice. If you ever do forgive me, then it will be in your own time, when your heart is ready. If your heart is ever ready.” I want that time to come, but I’m not confident it ever will. Not with everything I’ve done.

Eve makes a face like she wants to argue but finally shakes her head. “No, you’re right. I’m sorry. The sex is too good. It’s making me silly.”

I tip her chin up and kiss her slowly. “I like you silly.”

“Yeah?” She nips my bottom lip. “Well, you know what to do.”

“I do.” I kiss her again.

There are many hours left until dawn. I plan to use every one of them.

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