Текст книги "Alien On Fire"

Автор книги: January Bell

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“Now the Roth will accept you as my true mate,” he says, tilting his head, his eyes narrow, suspicious slits. “This was the only way.”

“You could have told me!” I cry out, completely fucking humiliated. “You could have asked me what I wanted. You said you were taking me back to Earth. I can’t go back to Earth like this.”

“So stay with me,” he says quietly.

And that’s when I realize it.

He meant to do this all along. To mark me, so I looked like a Roth, knowing humans would see only the species they hate when they look at me.

He meant to make me an outcast from my own people, so I wouldn’t be able to go back.

“You never intended to send me back to Earth.”

My stomach clenches.

“Earth won’t be safe until we dispatch the Overlord,” he says easily. “You will realize in time this was the only way to make me king and to save your people.”

“No,” I shake my head. “No.”

“I don’t see the problem. You are more beautiful than ever. You are safe now. This was the only way.”

“No, Nydo. It was the only way you wanted it to happen. You never intended to give me a choice. You manipulated me every step of the way…” I go quiet, staring at the now healed scar where the energy plas pulse from the destroyer ripped into his stomach.

“How did the Overlord know where we were every time we stopped?”

His eyes turn black, his expression cooling completely.

“You fucking bastard,” I snarl. I want to hit him.

I don’t. I don’t stand a chance against him, anyway. I never did. And that’s the worst part. I trusted him. I thought he’d earned it.

The whole thing was a goddamned lie.

“You’re the one who tipped them off about where we were.”

I expect him to deny it, but he just watches me with that guarded, expressionless face. I hate it. I hate his masks and his lies and his fucking manipulations, and I have never felt more used and idiotic in my life, with his cum still leaking out of me, sticky on my thighs.

“It was the best way to pave our way as returning champions and secure my throne,” he says, his tone arrogant in a way I haven’t heard in days. “The Roth understand might and power. It is the only thing that matters. We displayed our might, as a team. It was all recorded and sent back here. Now we are truly a team, bonded and mated for life. We have everything we wanted.”

“No,” I shake my head. “You have everything you wanted. You made it so that I never had a chance to decide what I wanted. What I want. You… You’re every bit the villain Niki said you were.”

“But I love you,” he starts.

I hold up a hand, disgusted. With him. With myself.

“Love isn’t holding someone so tight you crush the life from them. Love isn’t tearing their wings from them and putting them in a cage so you can keep them close.” I shake my head, furious tears tracking down my face. “Love is letting them go, letting them fly.”

“You said you were mine,” he rasps, and there’s a glimmer of confusion on his face, but he quickly locks down any hint of what he’s thinking—what he’s feeling—behind a scowl.

“Well, then,” I say, a humorless laugh slipping out of me. “I guess we both lied, then, didn’t we?” I stare down at the strange markings swirling under my skin. “Because no matter what you did to force me into a life by your side, it doesn’t make me yours.”

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CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

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NYDO

Despair. Darkness.

I cannot even touch my magic, can’t do anything but stare in horror as the temple entrance fills with the all-too-few remaining Roth.

Leigh stands by my side, her movements wooden, her green eyes watery. Her skin shimmers and gleams, the ash markings moving rapidly across it. Her dress is back on, but enough skin is exposed in the garment that the Roth assembled can clearly see she’s mine. That we are mated.

Even if she so adamantly denies it.

Mine.

It pains me. The hurt still etched on her face, the fact that she refuses to cry, or smile, or do anything but stand there, living proof the human females have been found worthy of bearing a Roth mate bond.

A bond she doesn’t want. Never wanted.

I don’t understand why she is angry with me. I love her. I would give her the world, all the worlds. I am keeping her people safe through this. Doesn’t she understand this?

My thoughts tumble through my mind, the Roth below cheering at the sight of my mate.

At the sight of a future where we do not go extinct, a future where we have families again.

“The Overlord would defile our sacred bonds,” I finally shout, knowing I cannot just let this moment slip away. “He would force worthy females into breeding pens, when they could be our mates, if we only give them the choice—”

Oh.

I pause longer than I intended, realizing what I’ve said. What I’ve done. I thought she had chosen me, though, didn’t I? Still, I never let her truly know what I was up to.

I was too afraid to lose her.

Perhaps I am no better than the Overlord, after all.

“We can have a better future,” I finally continue, the crowd below uneasy. “We do not force the mate bonds. You know that this is not our way. You know the gods would punish us. You know in your hearts there is a better way than sending our brothers to their deaths, to mindless slaughter, to make territory gains when we are already spread too thin—”

“She is marked by the gods,” someone shouts. “Let the gods-marked queen speak!”

The crowd begins to chant, and Leigh draws a shaky breath, pale underneath the ash markings. My markings.

My lip curls as I silence a feral growl.

“The only way to beat the virus, your gods’ wrath, is to give humans a chance to choose. The only way for your continued survival is to recognize that all are worthy of life, and to atone for the cruelty of your Overlord.” Her voice rings out, strangely amplified, and I blink as gold sparks from her skin.

It must be my imagination, though. Or a trick of the light.

“There is a way forward without your extinction, should you choose it. Follow the path of your king. Give others the same choice.” She licks her lips, swaying slightly, her green eyes huge and glowing in the firelight. “If you choose the path of the Overlord, I have no doubt that all that awaits the Roth is ash. Ash and death.”

A mighty roar of a cheer goes up, and I can’t look away from my mate. My Leigh.

Her hair is burnished gold, flaming in the light, and she is so stunning with my ash marks on her skin that I fear my need for her will never be quenched. Her words are perfect, too. She is so much more than I ever imagined.

More than I deserve. I have wronged her.

I squeeze my eyes shut, but no matter how I try, I cannot banish the look of horror on her face when she saw what I’d done. Realized the depth of my manipulation. I thought I was doing what I needed to keep her safe, to keep her people safe…

“We are bound by fire,” she calls out, and I blink at the power ringing through her voice. “But you know that fire consumes and destroys, should it burn out of control. The time for control is now.”

“Down with the Overlord,” someone in the crowd shouts, the rest picking up the chant. I smile. Next to me, Leigh sways slightly, blinking out at the crowd in surprise, like she’s just now seeing them.

I have everything I wanted.

My victory feels hollow.

I have the Roth eating out of the palm of my hand. I have my crown and throne. I have my markings on my queen.

But I think I have lost my love forever.

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CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

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LEIGH

I wanted to hit Nydo when I realized just how far he’d gone to deceive me, how he’d played me like a puppet on a stage I didn’t even realize had been set just for me. I stare at the markings in the mirror, and though they are less apparent than they were yesterday, they’re still there.

Permanent. Mate marks.

“Fuck.”

Tentatively, I touch the gold swirls that slice down the left side of my face, from just above my eyebrow to my jawline.

I hardly recognize myself.

I should be happy, at least, that our takeover of Roth while the Overlord is off planet has gone peacefully. We’ve enacted a bloodless coup, for now, at least, and that’s something.

The Roth stare at me like I’m the answer to all their problems, and I’ve spent the last day and half trying to be graceful about it in their presence.

Trying not to cry.

He said he loved me. Nydo said I was his. That he would protect me.

But I don’t think he truly cares about me at all, not past what I could do for him. It makes me sick that I believed him. That I still want to believe him, believe that I wasn’t just a tool honed and sharpened to slice the Overlord’s power base.

I sigh, picking at the gold gown. It’s beautiful, like everything else in the rooms. It’s alien, sure, unearthly and strange, but beautiful. Roth itself is, too. I haven’t been too far from the palace yet, but from the vids I’ve seen, the countryside is a mix of rolling green and volcanic fields. Further north are ice caves and glaciers so blue-green they seem unreal.

Unreal, like everything Nydo tricked me into believing about him.

I haven’t seen him since I gave that weird speech, feeling not like myself at all. Feeling like something else was speaking through me, half-aware but unable to do more than ride the wave.

Turns out Nydo isn’t the only one that wants to puppet me.

And I can’t even fucking talk about it with anyone, because the hand-not-maiden dude is the only one Nydo will allow in to bring me drinks and food, and otherwise I’m left to my own devices. He even refused to even give me his name when I asked.

I’m a fucking figurehead. A glittery, human figurehead.

Nydo’s trapped me in another prison, as surely as I was when he found me. This one is gilded, but it’s a cage nonetheless.

My hands fist in my skirts, and despair rolls through me.

“Then leave, little human, if you’re so miserable. He will fight for you if he is worthy of you.”

I scream, half-jumping out of my skin.

“Motherfuck!” I yell, twirling around, looking for the source of the voice.

There’s no one there, though.

Something catches my attention out of the corner of my eye, and when I flick my gaze back to the mirror, I realize what it is. The weird symbols on my face are glowing.

“What, so the swirly things weren’t going to be enough? You had to put some shit on me too?”

“So angry.” The voice sounds petulant, and I glare at my reflection. “Would you have accepted the mark if I had asked?”

“No,” I say, feeling like maybe I should call for a Roth doctor. Hearing voices isn’t great, I think, no matter your species.

“Just as you wouldn’t have accepted it if your king had asked,” the voice says.

“Oh, so you’re taking his side?” I snarl at no one. Great!

“No. I am on the side of the Roth, and on the side of the humans, too. I think he did what he thought necessary to ensure the safety of everyone in the only way he knew how.”

“He could have told me!”

“So what will you do now?” the voice says, crackling with amusement. All the hair on my arms stands on end. It feels like the presence… is close. Energy crackles along my skin, like I’ve rubbed up on a balloon and charged myself with static.

It’s unnerving as hell, and I lick my lips.

“Leave, then, little human queen. His ship is out there, you know,” the voice suggests. “The one you arrived on. If you don’t want to be here, to protect the human females that will soon flood this world, then leave. The world will spin on without you. The guards are changing now.”

A lock clicks, and the door to the rooms I’ve been shut it in all day opens.

I don’t look around for the voice, for the presence that sent fearful tingles down my spine. I know she’s already gone.

I bound for the door, gathering my stupid skirts in one hand and running for it.

Surely a disembodied voice wouldn’t steer me wrong.

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CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

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NYDO

My brother arrives late in the afternoon the day after the mating ceremony, with one of the settlement fleets in tow.

I try to focus on what the leaders are saying, what Lyko says, but I’m utterly distracted.

All I can think of is the wounded expression on Leigh’s face.

I am obsessed with her.

The speech she gave… she is perfect, more perfect than I could have ever imagined.

And I have ruined my chance at love with her.

I have ruined us.

I scrub a hand down my face.

“Have you heard a word I’ve said, brother?” Lyko asks quietly. The conversation’s died while I sat and pined over Leigh, and I realize they must have been waiting on me to say something.

Instead of answering, as the answer is obvious, I stand, moving to the window. I don’t know why. It’s almost like a hand pushed me to the wall of windows that look out over the rugged green lands past the nearly empty city and airfield.

“Leave us,” Lyko says simply.

The noise of Roth filing out of the room sounds, and still, I don’t move, even though I half-want to turn and resume our planning to take out the Overlord once and for all. Instead, I stand in front of the window, the Roth landscape that tugs on my heartstrings stretching out before me.

My homeland. I would give up everything to see it safe, to see my brothers safe as well.

“Would you? Truly?”

“What?” I ask, glancing askance at where Lyko stands beside me now.

“I didn’t say anything. Are you alright?” Concern purses his lips.

“I…” I drift off, uncertain how to continue. Kings do not admit they have made mistakes. No king I have ever heard of, at least. “I am not.”

“You aren’t?” Lyko repeats, clearly flummoxed by this.

My little brother. Even though Lyko is as huge as I am, his shoulders broader, even, he will always be my little brother.

“I have never wanted to appear weak. Not to you, not to Ayro. Not to anyone. But I have made a mistake, and I don’t think I will be able to recover.” My chest hurts, and I rub it, sucking in a breath that’s suddenly hard to catch. “I do not know how to fix this, and it may make me weak to ask, but I need help to fix it.”

Lyko places a hand on my shoulder, his expression grim. “You know I would follow you into bloody battle any day. Name it, brother.”

“My Leigh,” I say, and my voice cracks on her name. I swallow, trying again. “Leigh.”

“Is she ill? Hurt? I wondered when Piper could not find her.” Lyko squeezes my shoulder with a powerful hand. He’s always been kinder than I. A better male than I. Generous. Understanding.

“I have wounded her.”

“Brother,” Lyko’s expression grows dark. “You said she was your mate. And you hurt her?”

“Not physically.” I shake my head, sick at the thought, my heart tearing wide open. “But I… was not honest with her about the marking ceremony, about what it means to be a mate of Roth. I thought she was agreed, I thought she understood and wanted to be mine. But I never told her, never asked, and now… now she hates me.” I choke, and something stings my eyes.

Lyko studies me, amazement and fear in his eyes. “You are making tears. Like the humans.”

“Impossible,” I scoff, just as something hot and wet streaks down my cheek. I touch the pads of my fingertips to my face, staring at the wetness in blatant disbelief. “It feels as though my heart has been ripped from my chest,” I confess.

“Then apologize,” Lyko says easily.

“It will not be enough.”

“Have you tried?” He squints at me.

“How do you know so much about what a human wants?” I glower at him, my tears drying up as quickly as they came.

“I have been traveling with one for a week now, and I spent time with them on Sueva, when I could. It is not hard to see that they are more emotional than we are. They think with their hearts, not with their heads. It is a lesson for the Roth, I think.”

“What do you mean?” I turn towards him more fully, homing in on his speculative tone.

“The humans are driven by both their emotions and their rational thoughts, but they feel so deeply. They want others to be happy, for the most part. They want to do right by people, not to gain power over them, or at least, not always. They are complicated, but I can see how your Leigh would be, ahem, upset by lies and manipulations.”

“I have spent just as much time with humans as you, and yet, you seem to know them better than I.”

“Maybe I have simply tried harder to understand them.” He shrugs one shoulder, reminding me so much of our father that a fresh ache twangs through me.

“So I should apologize,” I restate, trying to wrap my thoughts around how I can possibly apologize enough to make things right. “I single-mindedly pursued the throne, only to be bereft of what I truly wanted as soon as I earned my kingdom.”

It wasn’t worth it.

Something red out the window catches my eye, and I turn back to it.

“Leigh,” I rasp.

The red in her hair stands out brightly against the shorn grass, her dress billowing about her as she runs. From here, our mating marks aren’t apparent, but I can feel my tether to her snap tight the farther she runs.

“Guards,” Lyko calls, his voice alarmed.

Several Roth males rush in, and I hold up a hand. At my signal they wait, clearly uneasy.

Love isn’t holding someone so tight you crush the life from them. Love isn’t tearing their wings from them and putting them in a cage. Leigh’s furious, sad voice echoes in my thoughts, so real it’s nearly as if someone is whispering in my ear. Love is letting them go, letting them fly.

Her red dress and hair get smaller and smaller as she sprints across the fields.

To where the ship we flew in on waits.

If she wants to fly, so be it.

I slam my fist into the window, fire licking through the room before turning to smoke and nothing.

I will let her fly.

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CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

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LEIGH

The ship is fucking quiet. Minutes, hours, days, tick by, and I watch the clock like it will somehow speed my arrival.

Not to Earth.

I scratch my marked up arms absent-mindedly, then shovel another spoonful of dessert in my mouth.

The comms tablet rings, and I pick it up, my cheeks full like a chipmunk.

“Hey,” Billie’s face fills the screen.

I heave a sigh. “Hey.”

“Are you eating… the quarn ice cream pack?” She shudders, then covers her mouth like she’s going to gag.

“Desperate times and all that,” I manage through a fresh mouthful.

“Soooo… I know you don’t want to talk about it, but Ayro and I are slightly concerned about the fact you’re hearing voices.”

“Slightly?” I cough, laughing, then hit my own chest as I choke. Oh, god, this is where flying solo in space is a really bad idea. It’s hard to give yourself the Heimlich Maneuver. Not impossible, just hard. “And it’s just one voice.”

“Did they give you drugs?” she asks, though Tati and Carmen, the human medics stuck with the Suevans, both commed me already and went through a laundry list of questions just like this with me.

“Not according to the med scanner.” I shove another bite in my mouth, not even chewing it.

“Okay, well, how far are you out from Sueva? They’ve got your old room all ready.”

“Great,” I say blandly.

“What is wrong with you?” She slits her eyes at me, studying me with a knowing gaze. “You fled that place, and Nydo, who, by the way, definitely treated you like garbage, and now you’re… wallowing.”

“I’m not wallowing.” I grab another ice cream pack, this one flavored with solman berries, and decidedly better-tasting than the meat ice cream.

The voice, the voice that has dogged my steps for days now, laughs.

I glare at nothing, ripping the pack open.

“You are absolutely wallowing. You’re acting like you just broke up with the love of your life.”

“I did break up with him, Billie,” I say sullenly. With the love of my life?

“Yeah, but he was a jerk to you. You broke up with him. You ran away, for crying out loud. Stole a whole damn ship. Proud of you for that, actually.”

“Yeah, I did,” I laugh through a fresh bout of tears, spooning some of the new ice cream in my mouth. Straight down the hatch.

“You know you belong with him,” the stupid voice says.

“Well, so do you, so shut up,” I say tartly.

“Um.” Billie’s eyes are huge in her face. “Should I tell the Suevans to send out a ship to meet you? Juls and her, er, warlord-husband-special-friend aren’t far from you. We just sent them away. But if you’re having a psychotic break, then—”

“No,” I say. “I don’t think I’m having a psychotic break. I think I’m being haunted. Or possessed. Alien possession. Or, and hear me out, it’s the goddess who gave me this,” I point to the gold symbols on my cheek, “because she’s trying to make me do her bidding.”

“You finally got it.” The voice laughs. I growl a little, but the noise reminds me of Nydo and I nearly choke on the overwhelming surge of sadness that grips me.

“I just… I thought it was real,” I say, suddenly on the verge of tears. A little ice cream dribbles out of my mouth, and I sniffle. “I thought he really did love me. But you don’t treat someone you love like that, you know?”

“Oh yeah, absolutely,” Billie says, nodding in agreement, her eyes locked on mine. “No, he lied to you big time.”

She narrows her eyes, and I can feel the but coming.

“Even if he did do it to save everyone on Earth.”

Argh!

“He didn’t even ask!” I argue. “You can’t just mark someone! I was a pawn in his mission to the crown, and that’s the only truth of it. How would you feel if Ayro did that to you?”

I’m openly weeping now, and she stares out of the comms tablet at me with both frustration and sympathy clear in her eyes.

“Ayro doesn’t have the weight of trying to stop an interstellar massacre on his shoulders,” she says primly.

“So you’re siding with Nydo?”

“No, I’m not. Absolutely not. If you never want to see that fiery fuckface again, then good for you. The thing is, Leigh, you seem pretty upset about never seeing that fiery fuckface again, so what I’m doing here is playing the fire devil’s advocate.”

“No one likes a devil’s advocate,” I sniff.

“Okay, so, I can’t believe I’m going to say this.” She pinches her nose, and it does, in fact, seem like she’s just stepped in dog shit. “But the aliens, the Suevans, the Roth, the Arco, and all the other weirdo species, they don’t think like us. Like humans. You have to… you know, lead them to it. To understanding what the hell is wrong. You know, communication?”

“What, you think I should’ve just stayed and played at queen? I don’t want to be queen,” I shout at her, brandishing my ice-cream-laden spoon like a knife.

Billie rolls her eyes. “Did you tell him what was wrong?”

“Yeah, and he didn’t say shit, he wouldn’t even look at me.” My nose is running and I dab it with my collar, receiving a disgusted look from Billie in response.

“A king wouldn’t apologize,” a male voice says, and my eyes widen.

“Ayro is listening?”

Billie’s scowling at someone not on the comms tablet camera, and then Ayro pushes her gently out of frame.

“Hello, Leigh,” Ayro says gravely. He looks enough like Nydo that it makes my heart hurt. I shove more ice cream into my mouth to keep from saying something stupid. A temporary measure at best.

“What?” I ask.

“Rude,” Billie says, only a sliver of her face still on the screen.

“I see why he likes you so much,” he says evasively.

Billie frowns. At least, I assume she does, because I can only see the barest corner of her mouth.

“It sounds like one of our gods has attached herself to you. That’s what that mark is on your cheek. That is a high honor.”

“I didn’t want it,” I say.

The voice laughs.

“I’m glad you’re getting such a kick out of this,” I mutter.

Billie makes a strangled noise.

“My brother… surely he told you a little of himself? Of what he did for us?”

I don’t say anything. I don’t want to talk about him.

“He sacrificed himself for Lyko and I,” Ayro continues quietly. “He joined the Overlord’s forces as a way to control what the Overlord knew about us, so we could grow up without being hunted by him. Forged our paperwork, dedicated himself to blending in with the rest of the Overlord’s troops. He didn’t want to. He hates him. But he would do anything for the two of us.”

I didn’t know that. Guilt squirms through my stomach.

“He is not like most of the Roth in that way. He would sacrifice anything for the ones he loves. He loves deeply, and he may not always go about things in the right way, or even in the way that I would choose, but he does so because he has always only had himself to rely on. He saw our mother dragged out by her hair by the Overlord, our uncle, and was forced to keep us quiet, to cover our eyes, as she was tortured and murdered, made an example of.”

My hand goes to my mouth, my ice cream clattering to the floor. “He never said what happened to her,” I say. “That’s horrible.” Oh god. Poor Nydo.

“If the Overlord knew you were his true mate, Nydo would do anything to keep you safe,” Ayro continues, relentless. “Not to mention, you being his true mate has likely saved all of the human females.” For a half second, his gaze flicks to Billie beside him, a rueful twist to his lips. “So long as we can muster enough support to stop the Overlord from outright attacking Earth.”

“There is that, yes,” Billie agrees acidly.

“Roth are raised not to apologize, especially Roth males in power. But I think you may yet hear from him.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Billie asks, taking the words right out of my mouth.

“He let her leave. He let her leave Roth airspace, unaccosted. Why would he do that if he only wanted to control her? He could have stopped that ship at any time or hunted her down and brought her back. I don’t think he was lying when he said he loved you,” Ayro says slowly. “I think he doesn’t know what to do with you.”

A proximity siren goes off. I leap to my feet, accidentally stepping on the ice cream pouch and sending it squirting across the floor.

“What’s that?” Billie asks, her face on the comms tablet again.

“Incoming ship,” I say, heading for the bridge.

A small Roth scout ship appears in the view screen.

“It’s a Roth scout,” I say woodenly, arching my eyebrow at the comms tablet still in my hand. “You were saying?”

“If I’m wrong, I’m wrong,” Ayro says breezily. “But if that is Nydo… hear him out, will you?”

The comm dies, the sound of Billie’s enraged voice the last thing I hear.

“Shit fuck,” I mutter, watching the ship grow bigger as it approaches steadily. Finally, I flick off the proximity siren.

Anxiety and excitement and adrenaline all course through me at once. Maybe it’s just a scout. Maybe I’m in trouble.

Maybe it’s Nydo.

What if it’s the Overlord?

My heart beats faster and faster as the ship hails me. I steel myself for the worst, preparing the meager weapons systems in case it is an Overlord ship and not Nydo.

But when a familiar, brutally handsome face fills the screen, I burst into fresh tears. I need my ice cream.

“Leigh,” Nydo says, and I force myself to look up at him. He’s not wearing the finery I’d grown accustomed to seeing him in, but wears a plain tank and pants, a regular soldier’s gear. Tears track down his face, and that’s what stops my building anger more than anything.

He’s crying.

I didn’t know the Roth could.

“May I board your ship? I would like to talk to you face to face.”

His voice is so quiet, so gentle, so unlike him.

All I can do is nod.

We should, at the very least, talk like adults.

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