Текст книги "Sweet Temptation"

Автор книги: Wendy Higgins

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Текущая страница: 14 (всего у книги 25 страниц)

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Learning the Hard Way

“Sometimes I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear

And I, I can’t help but ask myself how much I let the fear take the wheel and steer.”

—“Drive” by Incubus

The problem about being with Anna is she makes me forget everything else. She looks at me like I’m her hero, and I forget who I really am. She smiles at the world around her, and I forget it’s an ugly place. She exudes comfort, and I forget we’re in constant danger. I forget all the reasons I’ve stayed away from her, all the reasons it’s better for her not to care about me.

I’m sprinting up the same stretch of beach Anna and I walked down less than an hour ago. I’m cursing myself, and swearing that if anything’s happened to Anna, I will find those guys from the carnival and take care of them.

I am furious with myself on so many levels. I let it slip during our walk that Anna’s father demanded I stay away from her. I guilted Anna into showing me her gorgeous aura of love, and then freaked out and was an asshole to her all over again. I talked her into going on the Ferris wheel and got so completely carried away trying to kiss her that I never saw the whisperer coming. Then I got us cornered by a fucking gang, where she tried to use her powers of influence and ended up with a gun pointed in her face.

Score two for the angels who saved her arse once again while I stood by helplessly. I grit my teeth as I run.

She’s with Blake now, who showed up at the carnival on his motorcycle to whisk her away. Though I’m certain she’s safe, the band of fear around my torso doesn’t loosen. The gang is long gone, down the strip in the opposite direction, but I don’t stop running. I need to deal with Anna.

I still cannot believe a whisperer caught us nearly kissing. I’m sick to my stomach. I want to hurl onto the beach, but there’s no time for that. I need to remind Anna of all the things she makes me forget, the most important thing being that it’s my job to keep us aware. It’s my responsibility to keep an eye and ear out, since I know she won’t. I failed us today, and she made it even worse by trying to take on those gang members single-handedly.

Why would she think that’s possible? She should have left them to me. Doesn’t she know what it’d do to me to see her killed?

I race up the steps to Blake’s deck, struggling for breath through the fog of overwhelming fear clouding my mind. I go straight to Anna, who looks afraid, and I take her face in my hands. I have to make her understand.

“Don’t ever do that again.”

“I know it was dangerous, but there were five of them—”

“I can bloody well handle myself, Anna!” I let her go, frustrated that she doesn’t get it. Back and forth we go, little Anna thinking she’s a warrior fucking princess or something, and I’m about to lose my mind.

“Give me your knife,” she says.

“What?” What’s she going to do with it?

“Just give it to me,” she demands.

Oh, bloody hell. “No, Anna, I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but this is ridic—”

Anna comes at me, and next thing I know I feel myself going backward and down. I land hard on my back with Anna looking down at me.

“Give me your knife,” she says calmly.

Blake whistles and I stare up into her face of fierce determination, framed in a tumble of blond hair.

“God, that was hot,” I say like an idiot.

She holds out her hand, and now I’m curious enough to dig my knife out and hand it over. She turns her head, throws the damn thing with a strong flick, and it lands in the side of a wooden heron’s head. Holy shit. I can’t believe it. Lust bashes me like a sledgehammer, and I suddenly imagine her naked.

“Dude!” Blake yells, snapping me back to reality.

Anna stares down at me as if she’s conquered me. “You showed your colors!”

“Did not,” I reply quickly. But even as I say it, I think I bleedin’ well might’ve.

“You totally let ’em out, brah!”

“Shut up,” I say to Blake as I push to my feet. I will beat him later.

We’re all standing now, and Anna’s wearing a satisfied look. “I’ve been training. I’m not completely helpless anymore.”

“I can see that,” I say, but as impressive as that was, I still don’t want her trying to take on every bastard she comes across, thinking it will be that simple.

She steps closer to me and looks up. “I get it now, okay? Everything you’ve always tried to warn me about, I get. Today was . . .” Petrifying? Eye-opening? She clears her throat. “I came here and said what I needed to say. Now I have to go. I mean it this time.”

And I can see in her eyes that she does. She’s been sufficiently scared by our encounter with the whisperer and gang. I’m sorry she had to learn the hard way. I’m sorry both of us have to be continuously reminded. It only takes one whisperer to report back to the Dukes. We won’t always be able to weasel our way out of it like Anna did today, telling the spirit we were practicing our “work skills” together.

I listen as Anna changes her ticket to an earlier flight. She gathers her things, and Blake and I walk her to her car. She hugs Blake first. I rest my hands on my hips, resigned to be happy that I got to see her for one day. As horrid as certain events were, and as stupid as we were to tempt fate on that Ferris wheel, a bad day with Anna is better than a good day without her, and I’ve been without her so long. I’m pissed at myself for ruining half the day being an arse.

She scans the skies before approaching me, and I feel a smatter of pride for her awareness. I don’t expect her to touch me again, but when her arms circle my waist and her face presses against my chest, I’m immensely grateful. I scan the skies myself, but they’re clear, so I pull her tighter. I let my chin rest on top of her head for two full seconds, and then she’s pulling away, holding my hands. Her fingers slide slowly away from mine until we’re no longer touching, and her eyes drop.

A cavern of emptying loss opens inside me as I watch her go. I realize I can shield myself against everything else in this life—but I will never manage to keep Anna out. She’s under my skin. She’s in my head and in my heart, stretching out and taking up residence. When she leaves, the imprint of her stays, as always, but it’s not enough.

It’s never enough.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Alive

“And up until now I had sworn to myself that I’m content with loneliness.

Because none of it was ever worth the risk. Well, you are the only exception.”

—“The Only Exception” by Paramore

“Come on, man,” Blake says. “We’ll grab a drink.”

We’re still standing in his driveway, staring down the street where Anna’s rental car has disappeared into the distance. When I don’t move or respond, he hits my arm to get my attention.

“I’ll be in in a bit,” I say.

He gives me a funny look, trying to read me.

“That’s some crazy shit she told us, right?” he asks. “About the prophecy?”

I nod, staring back down the street until he sighs.

“All right, fine. I’ll give you a minute, but hurry up. We only have one night until my pops gets back from wherever the hell they are.”

“Vegas.”

“Yeah, whatev. Just have your moment and getcha self inside. I’mma kick your ass at Grand Theft Auto.”

I know he’s trying to cheer me up. While other blokes would be having a party or going out, our idea of non-parental fun is just the opposite.

He jogs to the house, leaving me to stare down his private drive. She’s gone and I’ve no clue when I’ll see her again.

“Come on, Kai!” he calls from the doorway. With stiff movements I force myself to go. He hands me a chilled beer and sits in one of his video game chairs in front of the giant screen.

I play and try to relax, but I keep thinking about the prophecy. At what cost will the earth be rid of demons? At the cost of Anna’s life? I won’t let her die alone to make this happen. I’ll go down fighting with her. I’d die today for a chance to see them all sucked permanently into hell with me.

But I’d die with one regret. I’d die wishing I’d shown Anna how I truly felt. I’d spend eternity in hell wishing I’d had one proper moment with Anna where I wasn’t scheming to sleep with her, or pushing her away.

One night with no games between us.

In that moment, I’m filled with a sudden panicked sense of urgency.

My car crashes and burns on the screen and Blake laughs. I jump to my feet, startling him.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“I have to go.” I know I must look deranged. That’s certainly how he’s looking at me, but I don’t care. I run to the kitchen, where I think I’ve left my keys, and he jumps up to follow.

“Where are you going? We have one night to chill! Don’t leave me hangin’.”

I find my keys with the silver skull and drumstick crossbones, and I nearly run into Blake.

“I have to stop her.”

He’s still looking at me like I’m a lunatic. “Who, Anna? For real? But . . . you’re always so careful, trying to stay away from her. What about her dad, man?”

“Fuck him.”

He chuckles, but shakes his head. “This is a bad idea,” he sings as I brush past him.

I spin on my heels and eye him as a sudden grin overtakes my face. “It’s the best idea I’ve ever had, mate.”

I turn and he grabs my arm, getting uncharacteristically serious. “Just tonight while they’re away, Kai. After tonight you can’t mess around like this.”

“I know,” I promise him. “Just tonight.”

I must look like a wild mess when I approach the old fellow at the ticket counter. I’ve run from the parking lot and it’s hot as balls out there.

“I need to get something to my friend,” I tell him as I catch my breath. “She’s on flight four twenty-eight to Atlanta. Can I see her? Just for a moment?”

“No, sir. I would suggest calling her if she has a cell phone.”

“She’s got it switched off. Can you page her?”

“I cannot. That flight is about to start boarding. I’m very sorry.”

But he’s not sorry. His aura is clearly annoyed. He’s already looking past me like he’s going to tell the next customer to come forward. I wave my hand. “Wait! I’ll buy a ticket.” I yank my wallet from my back pocket, and he jumps back like I’m pulling a gun when I whip out my credit card.

“Sir, they’re about to begin boarding,” he repeats. “You might not make it.”

“Well then, I suggest you run my card quickly. I’ll take my chances.”

He grits his teeth and types, swipes, and prints the boarding pass. I snatch it and take off. I’m so thankful we’re in Santa Barbara and not L.A. The security line isn’t too awful, though I’m bouncing on the balls of my feet the whole time, making the lot of people around me nervous.

When I’m through security I sprint, counting down the gates as I go. My vision spirals down the hall to Anna’s gate, but I can’t see her.

Come on, come on! I weave through the slow people. When I get a bit closer they announce the initial boarding call. As passengers begin to stand and move, I spot the top of her blond head and I let out an airy laugh.

“Anna!”

It takes a moment, and then her head whips around. Her eyes are red and swollen. My first instinct is to run to her, but she may not want to see me now. She might refuse me—push me away as I’ve so often done to her. But I have to know. I stop at the edge of her row, and it’s as if the people have made a path down the aisle, just for me, straight to Anna.

She seems to be in shock, sitting there at the other end, staring at me, and I seem to be stuck here at the edge of the aisle.

“What’s wrong?” she asks me with fear in her voice.

“I—” I peer around for whisperers. “Nothing.”

Her forehead scrunches. “How did you get through security?”

“I bought a ticket.” I hold it up. The people in the aisle ping their attention back and forth between us like it’s a rom-com tennis match.

“You . . . you’re going on this flight?” she asks.

Clearly this is out of character for me, as she’s quite confused. “No, but those buggers wouldn’t page you, and your phone is off.”

As it sinks into her mind that I’m here for her, she slowly stands and makes her way toward me. I’m so afraid she’ll tell me to leave. I have to get the words out before she boards.

“I . . . I just . . .” Oh, bloody hell, I’m really not good at this. I could talk dirty to her all night, but saying how I feel is altogether different—too exposing. Saying these words is the ultimate vulnerability. Anna must know this. It’s why she needs to hear the words from me so badly.

Bugger. Say something! I lower my voice.

“Anna . . .” Right. That’s a start. What next? Tell her when it all changed. “The night of the summit, when you were saved . . .” She is staring up at me, hanging on every word. “It was the only time in my life I’ve thanked God for anything.”

Her eyes flutter closed and I exhale. I know the words have hit home, because only Anna can understand how huge that was for me. When her eyes open again, we drink each other in. She takes my face in her sweet hands and doesn’t look away.

“I love you, Kai.”

Now it’s my turn to close my eyes as I savor those words. It’s the first time anyone’s said it to me and truly meant it.

I want to say it back, but I’m overwhelmed. That damn urge to cry has hit again, and I can’t allow it. I keep my eyes closed a moment longer and swallow away the burn. When I look at Anna again, I take her face in my hands and she grasps my wrists. I throw myself out there.

“Spend the night with me.”

Her eyes widen. “Kai . . . We shouldn’t.” But there’s no backbone in her words. She’s begging me to talk her into it—to say more of the words she’s hungry to hear. I want to give her what she wants, in every way.

“I’m tired of living like I’m not alive.” I take her shoulders. “I’m bloody sick to death of it. I want one night to be alive. With you.” I press my forehead to hers, and now I’m the one begging. “Please, Anna. One last night and we’ll go back to being safe again. I need this. I need you.”

I lift my head and look at her so she’ll know I mean it, but I see worry in her eyes. I don’t blame her for needing reassurance.

“I’ll be good. I won’t let anything happen.”

As we stand there with our eyes locked, the wait is excruciating. I need this so badly. I don’t know what I’ll do if she says no.

Anna’s hands move down my forearms, and her fingers twine tightly together with mine.

“Let’s go,” she says.

She bites her bottom lip nervously as a grin spreads across my face. We both let out exultant laughs, in disbelief that this is happening. I grab her bag and we simultaneously search around us. No whisperers in sight. I never let go of Anna’s hand.

For the first time in my life I think to myself, So, this is what it feels like to live.

For the first time in my life, I am alive.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Let Me Kiss You

“Our night is lit by the city moon, and I see myself reflect on you.

I know what I was meant to do.”

—“Aviation High” by Semi Precious Weapons

The whole day has been a disastrous embarrassment. First we show up at my flat, where I’m berated by Michael for missing another practice, then I realize the bloody flat is in ruin from my party on Thursday and Anna wants to clean it herself. Pardon me, but I’m disgraced by the thought of either of us cleaning. Then she finds the lyrics to “Good Thing” in my handwriting. Fantastic. And to add a cherry on top, Anna finds remnants of cocaine on my coffee table and goes all daughter-of-Belial on me. I shouldn’t have found her so sexy in that moment, but when Anna gets possessed with any kind of desire it’s fucking hot.

I’d rubbed her finger where she touched the powder and said, “The way this made you feel? That is what you do to me.” It’s so rare when I can make her understand the madness I feel for her.

If she hadn’t fled the flat to clear her mind at that very moment, I would have had no choice but to do all the sordid things to her I’ve been dreaming of.

Now I’m standing in my room, staring at the neat piles of dirty clothes along my wall, all organized by color. I shake my head. I can’t believe I allowed her to talk me into this. Anna should not have to clean any of this.

I lift my chin as I get a whiff of something divine drifting down the hall. Slowly, I follow the scents to the kitchen doorway, where Anna stands with her hands on her hips, surveying pots and pans that are giving my stove a workout for the first time ever. She’s softly singing to herself, “I knew you were trouble when you walked in. . . .” I will forgive her for the Taylor Swift lyrics, because she looks so bloody adorable standing there cooking—creating something with her hands for my consumption. I don’t think Anna will understand how intimate I find it that she wants to feed me. As far as I’m concerned, it’s an act of foreplay.

It’s been roughly eighteen months since I kissed her. Sinfully too long. When I begin to think of my hands on her, my mouth tasting hers, my body goes completely rigid with intense need, and my sight begins to fog.

Take her.

Take her now.

Right here.

Who needs whisperers when you have a mind like mine that makes completely devious demands of your body? I’m rational enough to know I cannot obey these commands, but I want to so badly it hurts.

Anna reaches out to stir a simmering red sauce and she freezes. Very slowly, she turns and sees me. She sets down the spoon and takes a step back.

Smart girl.

I have to touch her, and she knows it. I fight every urge that’s giving me permission to be rough. With every step I take toward her, she takes a step back, until she’s cornered against the sink and I’m inches away, hovering over her, breathing in the air she exhales. I’m taking great care, because I know she can see the beast in my eyes. I know she’s both excited and frightened. I don’t trust my hands right now, so I grab the sink on either side of her waist. I will not let go.

And then I lower my head and I take her mouth with mine.

Sugar. Salt. Soft and tender. Unmistakably Anna.

Oh, God, yes. This is what I have been missing.

Anna must think it’s safe, because she suddenly goes wild. My vision turns white as I fight for control. She tastes and feels even better than I remember. Unlike me, she’s not holding back. Her hands are in my hair, nails on my scalp and neck. She’s feeling my shoulders and upper back. She’s trying to pull me closer, but I’ve locked myself in this position and I dare not move. I kiss her deeper, letting my mind be taken to that epic place of beauty. Then I ease up and my lips linger over hers, covering them with small and gentle kisses until I have to go deeper again.

When her pear-filled scent fills my senses, my body urges me again to take her.

Anna grips my forearms and pulls her lips from mine, looking up. “Are you okay?”

She has no clue just how okay I am. I want to show my gratitude in a very big way. I told her tonight wasn’t going to be about that, but apparently my body didn’t get the message.

I push myself away from her and rake my hands through my hair.

“I need another bloody shower.”

I’m proud of myself for the self-control I’ve shown, but the showers are getting old. My body knows when it’s being duped. The daily pain I deal with is so much more defined when Anna is near.

I run the towel over my head one last time and I’m about to drop it on the floor when I remember Anna is here and we’re trying to keep the place clean. So I hold up the towel and awkwardly fold it in half and hang it askew on the rack.

See? I can do this. I’ll even take out the last bag of rubbish without her asking.

I’m feeling good when I run into Anna in the hall at the stacked washer and dryer. That is, I was feeling good. Now I see the look on her face and the paper in her hand.

Shiiiiiiite . . . shite, shite, shite!

It’s the fucking note Anna Malone left me. I only remember one damn line from the whole thing—something about picking up where we left off. This is not good.

“I heard a rumor that you’re not working,” Anna says quietly. “Is that true?”

I wish I could say yes, completely.

“Mostly. I work if whisperers come around or if my father gives me a task, but even with Marissa’s nieces it’s not usually sex.”

She pauses and I want to tell her everything—about how hard I’ve tried and how good I’ve mostly been, but the proof is right there in her hands that I’ve done something, sex or not.

“Were there whisperers here when you had people over?” When she asks this, I know what she’s really asking. Did you hook up with her because you had to or because you wanted to? Emptiness fills me. I won’t lie to her, even though I’d rather gouge my eye out than admit this.

I shake my head. “No.” I wasn’t working.

She crumples the note and turns away from me, back to the washing machine, and I feel as if I’m falling. I know how she’s feeling. I know that sickening sense of betrayal, and now I’m feeling like a hypocritical prat for giving her such a hard time about a kiss with Kope when I’d done even worse. God, if Kopano had done to her what I’d done to the other Anna . . . I clench my jaw, then I get a grip. I have to fix this.

“Anna.” She ignores me and goes about stuffing laundry in. “Ann, please. Listen.”

How can I make this go away? She turns to face me and her eyes are wet. I shove my hands into my hair, wondering how I can salvage this night.

“It was after I’d spoken with Marna,” I try to explain. “I believed you and Kope were together, even though Marna said you weren’t. I was certain you’d fall in love with him.”

I hate admitting that my own insecurities led me to doing bastardly things, but I have to come clean with her. Anna closes her eyes, and her face is pained, as if she’s imagining the worst. I want to take those images from her.

“Did you sleep with her?” she asks.

“No.” Though I don’t expect her to be impressed, I need her to know. “It wasn’t nearly as hard to stop as it had been with you.”

She still doesn’t open her eyes.

“I’ve mucked it right up, haven’t I?” She looks at me now with sad eyes. “I’d been good for so long, Anna. You wouldn’t believe how good.” Eight months since I’d had to work that party in New York. Nothing besides that except snogs in bars if whisperers showed. I wonder if she’s able to understand how difficult it’s been, how much I’ve missed her. A set of tears run down her cheeks. I want to wipe them, but I don’t know if I’m allowed to touch her.

“When I saw you on Valentine’s Day I was going to tell you everything. . . .” I ramble on about how I’d found out about her and Kope. “I rang Marna, expecting another no, but she hesitated . . . and there was nothing worth being good for anymore.”

I need to shut up. I’m digging myself a hole. Inexplicably, Anna holds out her hand to me. I stare at her offering for a moment before I take her hand in mine.

She pulls me to her and says with conviction, “No more. No more running in the wrong direction.”

I exhale and feel the tension from my body release as she holds me tighter. It’s going to be all right. We’re going to work through this. I once again marvel at Anna’s ability to forgive, to love selflessly. I only wish I could erase all the pain I’ve caused her.

“No more,” I promise her. I start by gently kissing under one of her eyes, and then the other, and down her cheeks, soaking up the salty tears on my lips.

Her hands are strong as she reaches up to grip the sides of my face. “You run to me,” she demands. And then she kisses me hard.

Her forwardness ignites me. I back her into the washer and dryer. My knee parts her legs until it’s between her thighs. She is what I need. I know without a doubt I will never again run to another. “To you,” I say against her mouth. “I swear it.”

Our kiss turns frenzied and I fear I’ll never be able to get enough. I fear my need will always overtake me. It’s hard to control myself when she’s wild like this, but if I focus on Anna and her pleasure, instead of my own, perhaps that will sate me.

I think about the striptease she did at Blake’s and my mind goes berserk. Those thighs. If I can get her naked but keep my own clothes on . . . just for a moment.

My lips pull from hers and move to her ear. I’m strangely nervous. I don’t want to scare her away. I grip her tightly.

“Let me see you again,” I whisper.

“What?” she whispers back.

I don’t ease up on my tight hold of her, and I nibble the freckle atop her lip. I know I’m being too vague, but I’m afraid she’ll balk if I grunt, “Naked. Now,” as I really want to. So I choose my words carefully, knowing I’ll need to take this slowly, layer by layer.

“Let me undress you. Not all the way . . . just as you were today at Blake’s. Please. Let me see you again.”

Our cheeks are together, and after a moment I feel her nod. I don’t hesitate. I pull the tank top over her head, and my pulse races at the sight of her pink bra and all that gorgeous, creamy skin.

She reaches for my shirt, and I almost stop her, but the thought of my skin against hers changes my mind. I let her take my shirt off, but that’s it. When the cloth is over my head I smash myself against her, taking her mouth with mine and reveling in the feel of our chests, arms, and stomachs flush together. She is so soft, and when our skin touches, the temperature goes up.

I stop only to look at her, to make sure she’s ready for the next layer to come off. She says nothing, only breathes rapidly as I feel around the edges of her shorts and slowly remove them.

There are hips, thighs, and legs in my sight now, and I am dying to be naked with her. I close my eyes, and my head drops back. Keep your shorts on, Rowe. I’m going to focus on Anna. Her pleasure will be my pleasure.

“Let me kiss you,” I beg.

“Okay,” she whispers.

“No.” I look at her, needing to be clear. “I need to kiss your body.”

Her mouth opens but it takes a second for the word “Okay” to slip out again. I think she knows exactly what I mean, and if she doesn’t, she’s about to find out. I need to kiss her absolutely everywhere.

“Don’t let any more clothing come off,” I warn.

“Okay.” She’s breathy, and I have to make sure she understands—if we end up naked, I don’t think I’ll be strong enough to stop again.

“Promise me, Anna.”

“I promise.”

Now that I know she’ll be the strong one, I allow myself to let go. Her body is all mine, and I’m going to savor every single taste. She wriggles under my mouth as I slowly move along her shoulder and down over her collarbone. My hands encircle her waist and back, fingers splayed to hold her close. I examine her skin as I kiss it, finding each freckle along the way and making it mine. Her natural scent intoxicates me.

I make it to her breasts and run my thumbs under the edge of her bra, dipping my tongue as far under the material as I dare. When I reach back to undo the clasp she presses her back against the wall to smash my hand away, and I grin to myself. I will get to those later. . . .

Down I go over her ribcage until I’m on my knees, staring at a blue heart charm dangling from her belly button. Holy . . . A sizzle of heat bolts to my core.

“You are killing me.” I lick around her belly button and she shivers, moaning. Her hands grip my shoulders and then sink into my hair as my mouth moves farther south to the edge of her low knickers. I start at one hip and kiss along the edge to the other. The sound of her rapid breathing urges me on. I open my mouth and lightly sink my teeth into the skin at her hip, making her gasp, then my tongue circles over the spot. I know I’m a fiend, but I want to mark her all over.

I’m ready to go further, but Anna’s legs are pressed together. When I move a hand down the back of one of her legs to bend her knee, she lets me. I gently pry her leg open enough to expose her inner thigh. Her hands are tight in my hair now, and I love knowing I’m making her crazy.

This is the one thing I can give her. The one thing I’m good at. I’ve never been more eager to make someone experience such bliss.

I kiss the inside of her thigh, running my tongue over the silky skin there. Anna lets out a gorgeous moan and she quivers, sliding down the wall. I move my hands back up to her waist to catch her. My mouth comes down inside her thigh, even closer, and Anna exhales a strangled breath.

“Kai! I . . . I . . . you have to stop.”

Bugger. I need to reassure her. I want to keep my face right where it is and show her just how okay this is, but I know better. I force myself to stand and look at her. To remind her it’s just me, and I won’t do anything she doesn’t want.

Anna’s chest is rising and falling quickly. Her cheeks are pink. Her pheromones are flooding the air and making my head spin like an aphrodisiac. I lean against her, dipping enough to align our hips and drive them together. Her head falls back as she feels me against her, and I know I can bring her pleasure just as easily this way as the other. But I want to be touching her with my hands if not my mouth.

My hand covers her warm stomach. “Let me touch you. Just on the outside. Let me make you feel good.” She groans sweetly, a sound of need, and my hand trails down.

So close.

I keep my eyes on her face, though her eyes are closed. I love watching her reactions.

I don’t expect it when she begins to shake her head. Or when she says, “No. No, we can’t.”

Something is wrong. I drop my hand. “What is it?” I step away, worried I’ve upset her. “I’m sorry, Anna—”

“No,” she says in a quaking voice. “I don’t want you to be sorry. I’m not sorry.”

I blink. My skin flushes from fire to ice as she bends and pulls her clothes back on. I’m not at all certain what’s going on. She pulls me into a hug, and I have to remind myself she is prompting this touch, so it’s okay. I let my arms go around her trembling form.

“You’re shaking,” I say, still confused.

“Yeah, well, my body is pretty angry at me right now.” She laughs shortly, without humor. “But I don’t want to take any chances when it comes to the hilt.”

Any remaining fire is put out at the mention of that thing, and my heart gives a lurch. The prophecy says the Neph of light and dark has to be pure of heart, I assume to be able to use the Sword of Righteousness. I hadn’t really thought about what that would entail.

“You think it’s that sensitive?” I ask.

“I don’t know. It’s meant for angels, you know?”

Ugh, damn that stupid sword.