Текст книги "Royal Savage"

Автор книги: Victoria Ashley

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Текущая страница: 17 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

UNABLE TO SLEEP, I MAKE my way outside to the front porch and lean over the railing, closing my eyes as I inhale a deep breath and slowly release it.

It’s nearly four 0’clock in the morning and extremely cold out here, but I somehow feel as if being out here is where I need to be at the moment. It helps me think straight and get away from the noise inside when we have a house full, which seems to be often since Kylie has come home with me.

Since waking up an hour ago, my heart has been telling me that something big is about to happen, and no matter how hard I try I can’t shake the feeling. It’s so fucking scary.

Shivering, I pull my sweater tighter around me and look out at the dark, lonely street. The only light is from a few houses that have their porch lights on.

The more I look around me, taking in the lonely scenery, and letting everything fall into place in my head, I feel an overwhelming sadness take over and begin to lose all hope.

“Why won’t you just come back?” I cry to myself, while running my hand over my face with my free hand. “Your daughter is the most precious thing in this world. I want you to meet her, Royal.”

Choking on a sob, I cover my mouth and try my best to stay quiet. “Seeing her beautiful smile every morning numbs all the sadness in the world. I want you to experience that feeling. I want you to know that you have a reason to live. I’m sorry that I wasn’t enough for you, but maybe she will be. Just maybe . . .”

Placing my back against the door, I slowly make my way down to my butt and wrap my arms around my knees to keep warm. I’m angry with myself for thinking that by talking out loud to him that he will somehow just show up. It hasn’t worked yet. Why would it now? Why the fuck now?

Burying my face into my legs, I allow myself to cry unrestricted. I’ve been trying so hard to be strong around Kylie. All I need is just a few minutes to let it all out, so that’s what I do. I cry until my throat feels raw and my eyes become so puffy that my vision becomes blurry.

Just as I’m wiping my face off and standing to my feet, a car engine sounds from close by, reminding me of the sound of Royal’s truck. I stop, and for a split second . . . so does my heart.

Something about that sound as it gets closer sends my heart into overdrive, and I find myself clutching at my chest as my eyes stare off into the night, waiting for the vehicle to come into view.

As soon as a huge truck comes into view, I lose it. Every piece of me breaks and I fall down to my knees, crying and clutching at my sweater as his truck pulls up in front of the house. He jumps out in a hurry, barely giving himself time to stop.

“Oh my God,” I cry to myself as his pained eyes meet mine. “You’re here. You’re really here . . .”

As soon as the words leave my mouth he rushes across the yard, not stopping until he’s standing on the porch, lifting me up into his strong arms.

“Fuck, I missed you so much, baby. Don’t cry. I’m here.” Wrapping his hands in my hair, his mouth presses against every inch of my wet face, as I clutch onto him for dear life in fear of him leaving again. I don’t know what I’d do if that ever happened again, but I don’t intend to give him the opportunity.

“You left,” I whisper through a small cry. “You really left.”

Grabbing my face, he pulls it up for our eyes to meet. “I had to,” he says firmly. “I’m so fucking sorry, but I want you to know that I’m never leaving you again. You hear me?”

I shake my head as more tears helplessly fall down my face. “I was so fucking scared,” I say, while squeezing his arm. “I thought I’d never see you again. Do you know how much that hurt me?”

He looks away for a second, as if to hide his emotions. “It hurt me too.”

“Did it?” I question angrily. “It’s hard for me to believe that when I told you that I loved you, Royal. I fucking told you that I loved you and you left. You still left.”

“Look at me,” he demands, while cupping my face. “Look at me, dammit.”

Letting out a frustrated breath, I finally bring my eyes up to meet the beautiful ones that I’ve missed so damn much. “I’m looking,” I whisper painfully.

“I. Love. You,” he whispers. “I love you and it scared me. That’s why I left.” My eyes slowly close as he runs his thumbs under my wet eyes. “Nothing scares me more than hurting you. I had to clear my head and know for sure that I was strong enough to let you in and fully love you like you deserve. I can never take back leaving, but I can promise you that you’ll never have to wake up another morning without me by your fucking side.”

He pulls my face up; making me open my eyes again. “Please tell me that you’ll let me love you. Will you?” He whispers the last two words.

Bursting out in tears from his confession, I wrap my arms around his neck and slam my lips against his. Feeling his soft lips against mine wakes something inside of me, making it feel as if I’m truly breathing for the first time in five months.

“Yes,” I pant against his lips. “I love you so fucking much.” I slap his chest, before grabbing his face. “Don’t ever leave me again. I won’t survive.”

“I’m yours,” he says gently, while placing my hand to his heart. “This is yours and has been for a long time now.”

I smile through my tears and hold onto him as tightly as I can, as he buries his face into my neck and kisses it repeatedly, while whispering how much he loves and needs me.

I’ve never felt more whole in my entire life than I do right now, right here, standing in Royal’s strong arms . . . but there’s one thing I need to do and there’s really no right way of going about this. I just need to tell him.

“It’s not just me anymore,” I whisper, causing him to look up at me. “There’s a little girl in my life and I love her more than this whole world.”

His gray eyes widen as they search mine. “You adopted a child? You had one before us? I don’t . . .” He swallows. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll love you both. You must know that,” he whispers. “Nothing is going to keep me away from you. Not anymore. Fuck that. I’m not going anywhere unless it’s with you.”

Tears stream down my face from his words and I find myself wanting to break down for this man. This is going to be so damn hard to do. He’s missed two years of his daughter’s life and he doesn’t even have a clue that she’s in my bedroom in my bed right now.

“She’s yours,” I say, so softly that it’s barely audible. “Hadley is here . . . in my bed.”

His whole body stiffens as he gasps. “What did you just say?”

“Your daughter is alive,” I whisper, while wiping the tears off my face. “She didn’t die. She’s very much alive.”

Releasing me, he drops to his knees and grips the back of his head. “I don’t fucking understand! Are you fucking with me?” He looks up with tear stained eyes. “Is this some kind of sick joke to get back at me for leaving?”

I shake my head and crouch down before him to grab his face. “I would never do that!” I scream through tears. “I know it’s hard to believe, but I promise you that it’s the truth. She looks just like you,” I whisper. “So much so that it hurt to look at her, knowing that you were gone. Your daughter is here with us, right now, in the house. She’s fast asleep, warm and safe.”

His fists clench at his sides as the tears uncontrollably pour down his face. Tilting his head, he looks around me to look inside when the door slowly opens behind us, making a creaking noise.

I must have forgotten to close it all the way, because from the look of pure shock and awe on Royal’s face, I know that it’s Kylie standing there and not Madison. He’s seeing his baby girl for the first time.

Wiping at his face, he stands to his feet and stares down at Kylie as she stands there, shivering while holding her blanket.

“Oh my God . . .” he cries out, before scooping her up into his arms and carrying her back inside where it’s warm.

I’ve never seen a man hold a little girl so tight in my entire life. His grip on Kylie is fierce, as if he fears ever letting her go, at risk of losing her again. He’s gone the last two years believing that his daughter was dead, yet she was living not more than twenty minutes from his home.

The million emotions running through his eyes right now as he realizes that this little girl is his life is almost enough to drop me to my knees and clutch my chest.

Watching this moment unfold right in front of me is the most intense moment I’ve ever experienced in my life. This moment is worth a million tears and I’m about to shed just that.

“Hadley,” he cries, while running his hands over her head and burying his face in her soft baby hair. “Daddy loves you, baby girl; so much. I’m never letting you go. I promise. I promise you that on my life.”

My heart aches and a sob escapes me as I watch him cry into the side of Kylie’s head. I’ve never seen Royal so vulnerable, and witnessing all of the pain and suffering finally pouring out of him and freeing him; it hurts. It hurts, but it feels so damn good at the same time.

Kylie’s eyes meet mine from over Royal’s shoulder. They’re filled with confusion as Royal continues to hold her close and cry against her, but instead of her being scared, she holds him back and tears fill her eyes as if she knows this moment is something deep: a special moment between a father and his daughter.

Wiping my eyes off, I reach for Kylie’s head and gently kiss it. “Your daddy is here, baby. This man is going to take care of you like I have. He’s going to love you, baby.” I rub the side of her face. “You’re going to have two people who love you very much. Understand, Kylie?”

Royal’s grip loosens on Kylie long enough for him to look at her face. “Kylie,” he whispers, clearly confused.

I nod my head as Kylie just stares up into his wet eyes.

“Yes,” I respond. “That’s what she’s been going by.”

He smiles through his tears when their eyes meet for a moment. “You have her eyes,” he says gently. “And a part of mine.”

Nodding my head, I smile while wiping my wet eyes off. “She does. They’re the most beautiful eyes in the world.”

Slowly, he lowers himself to his knees and sets Kylie down before him. “Are you tired?”

Wiping at her eyes, Kylie nods her head and yawns.

He turns to me. “Let me put her to bed. I want to tuck her in. I need to make sure she’s warm and safe. I just need to . . .”

“Yes,” I whisper. “I bet she’d like that.”

Cupping her face, he gently places his forehead to hers.

I get distracted when the front door swings open again, but this time to Jax and Blaine rushing inside.

“What’s going -” Blaine stops and turns to me when I grab his arm to quiet him.

In silence, we all stand here and watch as Royal scoops Kylie back up into his arms and carries her away to my bedroom, holding her as if she’s going to break if he moves wrong. She’s so precious to him and it’s clear to see.

“I need to tell you both something very important.” My eyes go up to find Blaine’s. Something registers in them that has my heart going crazy. He’s going to be so pissed.

“Ah fuck!” Blaine bursts out while gripping his hair and looking at the hallway. “It’s true.” He starts pacing and looking around with wild eyes. “I had a feeling. Her eyes. Her damn eyes . . .”

Swallowing, I nod my head. “Yes. I’m sorry. I was going to tell you, but I wanted to wait–”

“I get it,” he cuts me off. “You wanted Royal to find out in person. It hurts, but I fucking get it. That’s my niece. My fucking niece . . . Damn.”

I nod my head and wipe at my face when Blaine looks over at me with wet eyes. “Yes. She reminds me a lot of you sometimes. She’s goofy and fun like her uncle.”

“I’ve been spending time with my niece this whole time. My fucking niece,” he whispers. “My family.” He crouches down and rubs his hands over his face, smiling through tears. “My niece,” he repeats.

“Well I wasn’t expecting this fucking twist,” Jax says, finally speaking for the first time since he’s walked through the door. “I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. I mean it is, but it’s not.”

My head whips around to Jax. “Why not?” I ask worried. “What does that mean?”

“It means that someone fucked Royal over to keep his daughter away. It means that Royal is going to rip someone’s fucking throat out. That’s what the fuck it means.”

Fear sets in at the realization that he’s right. There’s no way Royal is going to let that little fact slip by him, no matter how happy he is to finally have her back in his life.

“How did you know?” Blaine pushes, while standing back up. “Who the fuck led you to Hadley? Someone had to know this whole damn time.”

“My uncle,” I whisper. “He said . . .”

The room goes quiet as Royal walks back into the room and stands with his hands over his face.

“She’s asleep,” he says, while walking over to the chair and sinking down into it. “She fell asleep in my arms. I should be in there, but I don’t want to scare her in the morning when she wakes up in my arms. She . . .” He shakes his head. “She needs to get to know me first. I need to be here every day; every fucking day until she realizes who I am. I’m not leaving her side until she does.”

“And you can be. She will,” I say, while walking across the room to be close to him. “She needs her daddy, Royal. She needs you just as much as you need her.”

“I’m happy for you, man,” Jax suddenly says. “She’s an amazing little girl. I know . . .”

“Two years,” Royal growls out. “I’ve missed over two years of my child’s life because someone took her from me. My fucking baby girl.”

“I know how you feel, but don’t do this, brother,” Blaine says while gripping his shoulder. “You need to be here for your daughter now. You can’t lose your shit whenever you damn well please anymore. I know what’s running through your head.”

He pushes Blaine’s hand away and jumps to his feet. “Tell me how you knew about Hadley . . . Kylie. Shit, I need to get used to her name.”

I swallow hard, nervous to tell him the story, afraid that he’ll go and hurt someone. “My uncle thought you gave her up for adoption this whole time: your stepfather and some officer that was there that night. They said you signed her over. I don’t know–”

“That motherfucker,” he growls. “That day he came to my cell with papers. He told me they were papers for Olivia. I wasn’t in my right mind and I sent him away without my fucking signature. Well now I know what the fuck they were doing. I was never good enough by him in the first place. Now . . . they look at me like a monster: him, Colton, and my fucking mother. That son of a bitch forged that shit when I refused.”

Jumping to his feet, he rushes outside with me taking off after him. I’m so scared of what he’ll do.

“Royal!” I yell out to him as he stops by his truck and repeatedly punches the side of it, leaving a bunch of dents, until his hands are covered in blood. “Royal! Stop!”

Finally, he stops and looks back at me, while fighting to catch his breath. “I’ll be back.” He points to Blaine. “Take care of the girls while I’m gone. Don’t leave until I get back.”

Stumbling over my feet, I rush down the porch and over to his truck, almost falling. “Don’t do it, Royal! Please!”

“Go inside,” he demands, while jumping inside his truck and rolling down the window to yell at me. “Take care of our little girl. Go!”

“No! Fuck you!”

Not giving a shit what he says, I make my way around the truck and jump inside, slamming the door behind me.

Growling out, Royal punches the steering wheel, before gripping it and leaning his forehead against it. “Fuck, Avalon! This needs to be done.”

“Then I’m going with you.” I pull my seatbelt on and growl over at him. “Go! If it needs to be done . . . then go, but you’re not getting rid of me.”

He punches the steering wheel one more time, before yelling out in anger and pulling off.

The closer we get to June and Ken’s, the more nervous I become, and my stomach begins to twist up with knots as I watch the houses around us in passing.

I don’t say a word though. Not yet. I know that he needs to confront Ken. He won’t be able to live with himself if he doesn’t. I can’t take that from him. It would be selfish of me.

All I can do is be here to support him and hope that I can bring him back to sanity before things go too far.

The truck comes to an abrupt stop, and before I can even look over at Royal, he’s out of the truck and running at Ken, who is just coming out of the house.

I quickly jump out of the truck in time to see the look of pure horror on his face when he notices the brick house that is charging at him.

“Royal . . .” He throws his arms up for protection. “Don’t be stupid!”

Ignoring his plea, Royal grips him by the throat and slams him up against the house. “You kept my fucking daughter from me! The only thing left in my life that mattered. You fucking no good piece of shit!”

Pulling Ken away from the house, he drags him across the porch, toward the steps. “Just go home,” he chokes out, while trying to pry Royal’s hand from his neck. “You’ll never understand.”

“I’ll never understand? Huh?” He releases Ken’s throat and swings out, punching Ken in the mouth.

I watch with wide eyes as Ken falls down the steps, scraping his face on the cement. Before Ken can gain his composure, Royal is on top of him, pulling his knife out.

“No!” June screams from the open door. “He’s your father. Don’t hurt him!”

“He’s not my father. He’s just someone you dated before dad, then left dad when he fucked up by getting locked up, and decided to get back with and marry. Fuck that! He means nothing to me.”

Placing the knife to Ken’s throat, Royal leans in and growls in his bloodied up face. “You made me believe for over two years that my daughter died. Do you have any idea what that’s like? You and that bitch cop fucked me over.”

He presses the knife down, causing blood to drip around the tip. “I should kill you right now. I should take your life, just like you took two years of mine. It could’ve been more,” he screams. “I could’ve never fucking known. Do you get that?”

“Royal! Stop! You’re hurting him. You need to stop!” His mom continues to scream at him from the background, but he tunes her out as if it’s just him and Ken.

“Royal!” I scream, as he presses the knife a little deeper. “You can’t do this,” I say gently. “Your daughter needs you here with her. If you kill that asshole for taking her from you, he’s still winning, and you will still end up without your daughter. Do you understand that? Do you get that?”

He tilts his head to the side, his eyes moving up to lock with mine. There’s so much pain behind his gaze that I almost want to kill Ken myself.

“Let him go,” I whisper. “He has the picture now and you have your daughter at home waiting for you.”

Slowly, I walk over and grab the knife out of his shaking hand. Then I bend down and grab his face. “Let’s go home . . . with our true family. Please.”

Releasing a breath, he stands to his feet and quickly runs his hands through his sweaty hair.

“I was only trying to protect her,” Ken says quietly. “Your head was too messed up after what happened. After Olivia died . . .”

“Stop it,” Royal demands. “Shut the fuck up before I change my mind and cut your throat out.”

Grabbing my hand, he stares Ken down, while backing me up toward the truck. “Stay the fuck away from my family. This is your only warning. Fuck with my family and I won’t hesitate to kill you. That’s the fucking truth.”

Relief washes over me as he helps me into his truck and jumps inside, quickly taking off.

The whole ride home is silent. I expect nothing more. He needs this moment to calm down. Any good man who loves his family would.

Once we pull back up in front of my house, he turns the truck off and grips the steering wheel, while fighting to catch his breath.

Crawling over the middle to get to him, I duck under Royal’s arm and straddle his lap. “You need to let it go for her. You need to be strong for her. Everything that you do now has to be for her. Your daughter needs you even more than I do.”

Releasing the steering wheel, he cups my face and looks me in the eyes. “How can I just let it go? Tell me how I can move on and forget that they took her from me. Tell me! I should have killed him.”

Trying to keep my emotions in check, I wrap my arms around his neck and press my forehead to his. “It’s not going to be easy . . . I can tell you that right now, but isn’t having her in your life right now better than not having her at all? If you go back and teach them a lesson, you’re losing her again . . . and me. You’re going to lose us both.”

“Fuck,” he says in a pained voice. “Fuck, baby. I love you. I love you both so fucking much. All I want is to be the best for you both.”

Letting my own tears spill again, I hold him tightly as he breaks down in my arms.

I close my eyes and whisper repeatedly that I love him and that what’s best for us, is to have him in our lives, as he buries his wet face into my neck.

This man will never understand just how strong he truly is right now for not killing that asshole. He had the power in his hands and yet he found it in him to stop. Not getting his revenge will be the hardest thing he’s ever had to do over losing Olivia.

“I love you, baby. You belong here with us. Promise me that you’ll never fucking leave again.”

Gripping his face, I pull it up to look at me. “Promise me,” I demand.

He grabs my face and runs his thumbs under my wet eyes, while kissing me long and hard. “I promise,” he says gently. “I’ll never leave you guys. The only way I’m leaving is dead.”

We sit here and hold each other for what feels like forever, before Jax finally opens the door and laughs at us. “Get your asses inside and join the fucking slumber party. I see you kept his ass in check. You’re the only one that could have.”

I laugh against the side of Royal’s face. “Way to interrupt a deep moment, jerk face.”

Jax winks at me and reaches inside to help me out of the truck and to my feet. “Sorry, but you did good,” he whispers. “Real fucking good.”

“That’s because she’s my woman,” Royal says, while jumping out of the truck and shutting the door. “Her and Kylie are my world and I won’t do anything to jeopardize that. I just needed a moment to get my shit straight.”

Royal’s hand reaches out to grab mine, like old times, as he walks me back to the door, and inside where Blaine and Madison are chilling on the couch, surrounded by tons of blankets with a movie playing on the TV.

In this moment, here with my family surrounding us, is the only place I’d ever want to be.

Now that Royal is back, I can see that our family is complete.

I’m complete . . .