Текст книги "Worth the fight"
Автор книги: Vi Keeland
сообщить о нарушении
Текущая страница: 5 (всего у книги 15 страниц)
Chapter 18
Elle
Saturday morning I call my mom to check in. I feel guilty I don’t call often enough, but sometimes I just need to try to block out that part of my life. It’s not my mom’s fault that I can’t separate her from the past that haunts me. I don’t mean to, but so much is deeply interwoven that it’s hard to take the good out from a web of bad memories.
Four years of therapy helped me to start to live again, and these days I really think I’m doing it. Guilt for not feeling regret had me stuck in a bad place, but most days I think I’ve moved on. Most days.
Mom and I spend ten minutes catching up and then the conversation moves to William. She casually asks how he is and is surprised when I tell her that we recently stopped seeing each other. I don’t mention that I’ve started seeing someone because I’m not in the mood for the third degree. Not today. I wouldn’t lie to her if she asked, but I know she would ask whether I’ve shared my past with him or not. For some reason she seems to think that telling people about the worst day of my life is cathartic. Perhaps it would be, but I wouldn’t know since I’ve never told a living soul outside of my weekly group meetings. Sure, lots of people know. But those are the people that read the headlines. They didn’t hear it from my lips.
After I hang up, I spend an hour trying to figure out what to wear to Nico’s. The outside layer of clothing is the easy part. But I want to look sexy without my clothes on. It dawns on me that I’ve never been concerned over what I wore for William. Not even in the beginning. Perhaps I should have been, but there’s no use dwelling on that now. Whatever the reason, I feel the need to please Nico Hunter. I’ve never felt that way with another man. A few weeks ago, if a woman would have told me that she dressed to please her man, I probably would have thought she was pitiful. But the way that Nico looks at me makes me high. It’s like a drug I crave desperately to have again. His pleasure is my reward, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to earn it.
I’m honest with myself about how I feel, but it doesn’t make me accept my own reaction to the man any easier. I’m torn between giving in to what feels so right and chastising myself for acting like a weak little girl.
I manage to get a few hours of work in during the afternoon. My workweek is always six days, but with Leonard out it’s pushing seven. A half day today and possibly no work tomorrow will make my Monday brutal, but I’ll care about that Monday.
I arrive at his building on time. The only two times I’ve been on time to anything in the last year have both involved Nico Hunter. Even I can’t chalk that up to coincidence. As I make my way to the door, I’m nervous and fidgety. Anticipation wreaks havoc on my ability to multitask and I don’t even notice he’s standing in the doorway, as I fumble in my purse to put away my keys while walking.
“Hey, beautiful.” His voice is low and sexy, but it scares the shit out of me nonetheless, because I hadn’t realized anyone was there.
I jump and look up, spilling the contents of my overly stuffed purse all over the concrete.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you saw me standing there.”
Nico leans down to start cleaning up the mess, and I almost lose my balance in my heels as I lower myself to join him in collecting my things. He smiles at me with a sexy smile and I smile back. I’m momentarily lost in his knee weakening smile, until I see what he’s holding in his hand out of the corner of my eye and realize it’s the reason for his sly smile. My birth control pills. He extends his hand to offer them to me, but doesn’t release them as I go to take them.
“Good to know.” Nico’s smile has grown from a smirk to a full-blown, panty-dropping grin and I feel the red creep up over my face. God damn it, I’m a grown woman who accepted an invitation to stay at a man’s house tonight, but yet I blush at the site of birth control pills. What the hell is wrong with me?
I quickly scoop up the rest of my personal life on display on the sidewalk and I’m relieved that I had removed the flavored condoms that Regina had shoved into my purse before I left yesterday. Bacon flavor. What woman wants to taste meat while, you know, tasting meat?
Nico stands and doesn’t offer to help me get up. He just does it. After I’m balanced he leans in and plants a soft kiss on my lips. Not much more than a brush, but I feel it all the way down to my toes. And we are standing in the middle of the sidewalk. There aren’t any people around, but still, it’s out of character for me to have a public display of affection. Or at least it was before.
“You didn’t bring a bag?” Nico’s face looks so disappointed, like a little boy who was just told he couldn’t have the puppy he’d been planning on bringing home.
“I did, I just left it in the car.” Nico tilts his head and squints his eyes at me.
“You’re not sure if you want to stay?” I can hear the disappointment in his voice.
“Umm.” How do I respond to him? Of course I want to stay, but it felt funny walking into his house with an overnight bag, even though he invited me. Almost presumptuous.
Nico takes my hesitation as confirmation that I’m not sure if I want to stay. He takes a step forward and wraps one arm around my waist, resting just north of my ass. The other hand moves to behind my head and he kisses me. Fiercely. His tongue seeks mine, then he sucks on the tip of it as he pulls it away to add teeth. His teeth bite down on my bottom lip and just as I begin to feel the pain from his bite, he sucks and licks away at the spot he just wounded, making it more than better.
I feel his hand that was holding my lower waist travel down and he pulls me flush against him tightly as his hands roam over my ass and he cups almost my whole cheek in one large palm. Tingling sensations shoot through my veins and I feel the sensitive skin between my legs swell. Nico growls and squeezes me harder before he pulls back slightly, releasing my mouth, tugging at my lip between his teeth as he pulls away.
I have no idea where I am. My senses are all keenly focused on the man who just stole my breath and I’m panting when he finally releases my mouth fully. His breath is fast as his mouth drops to my ear and he speaks in a strained voice. “I’m about ten seconds away from losing my self-control, Babe. Think I can get that bag for you and move this inside so we don’t give the whole neighborhood a show?”
Nico pulls his head back and waits for my answer. But I can’t speak yet, so I nod my head yes and just watch as he takes my keys out of my hand. He kisses me again on the mouth, this time much softer. “Not that I would mind. I don’t give a shit who’s watching as long as I get to do that to you.”
I force myself to close my mouth as I stand there watching him grab my bag from the car and return to me, his disappointed face now replaced with a megawatt smile that reminds me of his fighting name. Lady Killer. If the name fits…
Inside, things cool down, which I’m grateful for. Or, at the rate I was going on the street, I would have been in his bed within fifteen minutes of my arrival. Nico picks me up and seats me on the kitchen island, so we can talk while he cooks. Watching him breeze around his kitchen, I realize how sexy a man who knows his way around the kitchen can be. There’s something instinctually alluring about a man who wants to take care of his woman. Not that I’m the barefoot-and-pregnant-in-the-kitchen-type of woman. But this is different. An almost natural role that he takes in our relationship and I find that I like to be taken care of. It’s something I have never allowed anyone to do before.
Chapter 19
Nico
I need to slow things down. I almost took her on the street for fuck’s sake. I feel like I’m stuck in a bad movie, with a little devil sitting on one shoulder and an angel on the other. But the goddamn devil is twice the size and my angel is a fucking mute. Great, I have a fucking mute angel.
She looks so cute up on the counter, I get the urge to bring her with me wherever I go and just plop her up on a pedestal near me. But as I grab a bottle of water out of the refrigerator, I see her reflection in the stainless steel. She crosses and recrosses her legs and I catch a glimpse of the top of her thigh for a split second. Damn it, I can feel myself starting to get hard from a damn reflection of a thigh. Freakin mute angel. Think thoughts of my grandmother. Grandmother Ellen. Ellen, hey that’s just Elle with an n. Elle’s legs. Shit this isn’t working.
“That smells good. What are you making?” I turn my head to respond to her, but it takes a minute for her question to catch up to my brain.
Not half as good as you smell. I’d like to eat you instead. “Couscous.”
“You make couscous?”
“Well it doesn’t taste good straight from the box.”
“Cute.” She smirks at me. Even her smirk turns me on. “What’s in it?”
“Garlic, olive oil, peppers, onions, parsley…”
Elle jumps down from the counter. I had put her there to keep her at a distance. She doesn’t realize what she does to me every time she comes near me.
“Can I help?” Her arm brushes against mine as she comes to stand next to me at the counter. She leans down over the pan where the ingredients are sautéing and her eyes close as she breathes in the aroma. Clearly, she appreciates the smell. Her face softens and her cheeks go slack as her nose delivers the scent to her brain. It’s the most erotic thing I’ve ever seen. She needs to get back up on that fucking counter.
Chapter 20
Elle
Nico lifts me as if I am nothing but a doll and seats me back on the counter. It’s the second time he’s moved me out of the way. The man sure is territorial about his kitchen when he cooks, oddly, I find it sexy. The inside of his hand brushes the curve of my breast each time he lifts me and I have to recross my legs and squeeze my thighs shut to keep my body from responding to him.
“I’ve seen you cook, remember? I think I’ll do this one on my own.” He grins at me. A cocky smile that should annoy me. But instead I find myself mirroring his smile. I’m smiling back at him after he just insulted me. The man makes me lose all my common sense.
Dinner is delicious. We get to know each other a little more. I tell him about my job, my volunteer work at the battered women’s clinic, and a few things about my childhood. I skip between the ages of eleven and seventeen. They don’t exist to me anymore. Nico tells me about his gym and some of the other products he endorses and I’m impressed by how much he seems to know about the products. Clearly he doesn’t endorse something unless he uses it and feels strongly about it. Unlike many athletes that endorse one product and use another, money doesn’t seem to buy his endorsement.
After dinner, I tell him to go relax and let me clean up. He doesn’t listen, so instead we do it together. It feels natural and comfortable to clean up his kitchen. We work together easily, without effort…like we’ve done it a thousand times before. It’s not the first time I’ve gotten that feeling when I’m with Nico. Sometimes I feel as though I’ve known him a lot longer than I have. Oddly familiar, yet it’s all new and exciting at the same time.
My heartbeat picks up as Nico pours me a glass of wine and dims the lights in the kitchen. With dinner out of the way, there’s nothing left to occupy our time. Except what I think we’re both anticipating will happen. We haven’t known each other that long, yet I feel like I’ve been anticipating this night forever. Since the day he walked into my office.
He takes my hand and leads me to the couch. Nico looks up at me and his cocky grin is gone, replaced by something that I didn’t expect to see written on his face. He looks worried. He exhales loudly, forcing out a deep breath I didn’t realize he was holding, and his hands run through his hair nervously. It feels like he’s mentally preparing himself to tell me something. To deliver bad news. My stomach lurches at the thought.
“Have you ever been to a fight?” The loft is quiet and his voice is so low it sounds almost pained.
“You mean an MMA fight?”
“Yes.” He waits quietly for my response.
“Once.”
Nico’s eyebrows shoot up. He’s surprised that I’ve been to a fight. I grin at him. He’s right to be surprised, I still can’t believe I got conned into going. I haven’t told him that I was at one of his fights. Especially not the one that I saw. He smiles back at me, but then his face falls again before he continues.
“Who was fighting?”
“You.” It’s not like the subject has come up in our conversation and I lied to him, yet I feel like I’ve done something wrong for not mentioning that I was at a fight. Thatfight.
My answer takes him my surprise. “You’ve seen me fight?”
“Once.”
“Which fight?”
“I don’t remember the other guy’s name.” I should remember, I remember everything. But I’m not lying when I respond. I’ve blocked the whole thing from my memory so well that I actually don’t remember. I’m good at doing that. Luckily, my brain goes into protective mode sometimes.
“Did I win?” I see a hint of his cocky smile. He must have always won.
“Yes.” I smile.
“Did he tap out or was it a decision?”
“Ummm.” I have no idea how to respond to the question. Nico probably thinks I don’t know what tap out means. But I do. Only in that fight, his opponent didn’t tap out and there was no need for a decision.
“What round did I win in?”
“I think it was the second.”
I watch as his face changes. His eyes close as he realizes which fight I saw. His handsome face is pained and I’m not sure if it’s the memory of that night or if it’s because I’ve just told him I was there. I say nothing because I’m not sure what to say. I only know that seeing him in pain hurts me. Physically.
I reach out and take both of his hands into my hands and gently squeeze, imploring him to look at me. He doesn’t move for a long moment. His head still bowed down, he eventually looks up at me. What I see breaks my heart. Raw pain in his eyes and sadness etched on his face.
“You know.” His voice is strained and I get the urge to make it better. Make him better. Make him forget the memory that causes him so much pain. Sometimes it can be unbearable, I know all too well. All those years I had no one to help me forget.
I nod my head once. His words weren’t a question, but I gave him the answer anyway. I watch as Nico closes his eyes for a long moment before looking back at me. Something hits him and I’m not sure what it is, but some of the pain that was there a minute ago flees from his face. Some of it is still there, but it’s less pronounced now.
“You’re here anyway.” His face is so serious and intent. It’s such an odd, surreal moment. His eyes are locked with mine, filled with intensity and pain and everything in the background falls away. There is nothing in the moment except me and Nico. The here and now, everything else is just a blur because he holds my sole focus.
I don’t even know where my response comes from. I’m a think before you speak type of person. But I hold his gaze as the words fall from my lips, time stops for my simple five word response and when it starts back up again, everything is different. “Where else would I be?” My words are spoken softly, but they connect with Nico instantly.
For a split second I see something in his eyes that I can’t place, but it warms me all over. Like being wrapped in a warm blanket when you’re cold, it brings me comfort and heat and I just want to crawl under and stay there. Nico is silent as he stands. I look up just as he reaches down and scoops me up into his big arms. He cradles me tightly as he walks. Neither of us say a word, we just watch each other.
We enter what must be his bedroom and he gently sets me down in the middle of his big bed. But he doesn’t join me right away. Instead he stands up and takes it all in. Me, laying in the middle of his bed. I think he’s taking a mental picture, as if he wants to sear it into his brain and remember it forever. It makes me feel adored. It’s the sweetest thing a man has ever done and it took no words.
His long, slow, heated gaze sweeps up my body and when his eyes finally reach my eyes, I can barely take the wait anymore. I want him. So damn badly. It’s actually more of a need than a want. It should scare me to feel what I’m feeling, but it doesn’t. There is no room for scared between us. I reach up and offer him my hand, and Nico looks between my eyes and my hand and back again before taking it. The silent confirmation of what I need is enough and I finally get what I want.
Slowly, he half covers my body with his, the other half of his weight supported by the bed. The part that is touching me is thick and hard and I wish that his body was completely over mine so I could feel each and every rippled muscle pressed against me. Instead, he uses the space between us to brush his big hand over the side of my body.
His hand starts at the middle of my thigh and painstakingly slowly runs up my side. Nico’s eyes don’t leave mine as his hand travels. When his hand reaches the side of my breast, his thumb gently reaches out and feels the curve of my swell. A small gasp escapes me, it’s small, but Nico catches it and I can actually see the green in his eyes darken at my response. He’s watching me, taking in my every reaction to his touch and I get the sense that he’s as aroused as I am from his simple touch.
My eyes close when his hand reaches my face. He softly caresses my cheek with his calloused thumb. Gentle, soft, barely a brush. His tender touch makes me feel worshipped and I try to fight back emotion from flooding. It’s my instinct, but it’s a losing battle. One I never surrendered to until now.
I open my eyes and watch as Nico’s eyes drop to my mouth and back again. His head leans down and I think he is finally going to kiss me, but instead he buries his head in my neck and breathes deep, scenting me. He lets out a low growl as he exhales and I swear it makes every hair on my body stand upright. It’s as if an electric current ran from the top of my head to the tips of my toes and I’m frayed from the bolt that shot through me.
Nico draws his head back from my neck and his eyes take mine again. He’s so close to me now, I can’t help but reach up and touch him. My pointer finger slowly comes up and I trace his beautiful full lips with a gentle touch, slowly, etching their shape into my memory. His mouth parts and he takes a deep breath before closing his eyes. I can see he’s straining for control when he reopens them a few seconds later.
It’s incredibly sexy to watch such a strong man so close to losing control. It fuels my need to push him. Push him over the edge of restraint, where his control disappears and the feral male I see lurking beneath takes control. I want to see what it will take to get him there.
After I’m done tracing his lips, I push my finger into his mouth. It’s warm and wet and he takes my invitation. I watch as he gently suckles on my finger at first. I bite down on my own bottom lip as his sucking gets stronger. My eyes tear away from his mouth to find his eyes and he’s still watching me. Watching me watch him. I see a glint in his eye and I catch the corner of his mouth turning upward in a smirk just before he bites down on my finger. Hard. Pain shoots through me mixed with need and desire, and I’m momentarily stunned at his action.
Nico releases my finger and I think I hear him say, “There’s the fire,” and then he’s on me. His mouth covers mine and we fuse together. It’s a desperate kiss, all tongue and slippery, with sucking and biting. One that consumes me the moment it starts and I instantly need more.
My hips mindlessly push up into him and I’m met with hardness. Thick, long, rock-solid hardness. My body trembles at the feel of his arousal so closely against me and another low moan escapes me. I don’t think I’ve ever moaned uncontrollably, but now it pours from a deep place within me. Nico tries to pull his head back, but I wrap my arms tighter around his neck and keep him where I need him.
He manages to free himself from my death grip and pulls his head back slightly. I am just about to complain when he says, “I need to taste all of you.” I seriously think I have a mini orgasm at his words. The thought of his head between my legs sends a wicked shiver down my spine and I wiggle as Nico lifts his weight off me and settles with his head between my thighs.
I forget we’re both still completely dressed until Nico pushes up my skirt and his mouth covers me, my lace underwear still between us. I feel the warmth of his mouth and his rapid breath up against my most sensitive skin and it’s torment. The need to have nothing between us is overwhelming and I’m just about to beg when I feel the heat of his mouth leave me. Nico gently removes my skirt and underwear and I brace for an explosion. But then he’s still. After a few seconds I look down and he’s looking up at me, waiting to catch my eye before he speaks. His voice is low and gruff, but filled with blatant desire. “I want you to watch.”
My body begins to spasm on its own at his words. I can’t respond, but I don’t look away either. Nico slowly draws out his tongue and licks me unhurriedly from my entrance to my clit. He stops as he reaches my swollen bundle of nerves and flitters his tongue ever so slightly over it. I whimper at his gentle touch, but I need more. More friction, more tongue, more suction. Just more. I lift my hips up in search of the more I quiver to find and Nico flashes me a knowing grin. He knows exactly what he’s doing to me. Any embarrassment I feel from needing more goes out the window when I realize he’s teasing me and I tangle my fingers into his hair and push his face down into me, desperately seeking the friction I need.
Nico’s mouth claims me. He circles my clit around and around before sucking hard, taking my swell into his mouth and lashing me with his wicked tongue. There is no build to my orgasm, no warning. Just a hard, heart pounding, endless wave of pulsating orgasm that tears through me violently. So violently I feel tears well up in my eyes for no reason other than pure emotion and euphoria needs to escape from where it’s trapped inside of my body.
I’m so completely spent from the intensity of what just happened that I barely participate in the next few minutes of frantic activity. Nico has to undress us both. I hear the foil wrapper opening, but it’s his words that bring me back to the current. “Last chance to say no, Elle.”
After all that he’s said and done to me, he’s still giving me an out. I feel my heart tug in my chest, adoring that he is still putting my needs before his own. Because of it, I want him that much more. “I can’t remember ever wanting anything more than I want you right now.” I look into his beautiful green eyes as I speak, letting him see through to the vulnerability that I’d kept locked away for so long.
He responds to my declaration with a kiss. Calling it a kiss just doesn’t seem like enough, it’s so much more. But there’s no name for two people becoming so entangled in each other that they get lost. For wanting someone so badly that your body trembles waiting for more. So much more.
I feel his swollen head at my opening and he breaks our kiss. The moment he draws his head back from me, I crave his lips back on mine. But he wants to watch me as he enters me for the first time. I find it arousing and erotic, and I find myself wanting to show him what he is doing to me, instead of hiding my emotions. It’s so unlike me.
I’ve felt his hardness between us, so I know he’s large, but I never fully felt him to know exactly how big he is. Until he’s pushing inside of me. He’s gentle, like he knows he can’t give it to me all at once, that he might tear me in half if he rams into me too quickly. He eases into me and stills, allowing my body to accommodate his thick girth. His hips make small, gentle circles, enabling my body to stretch before he pushes the rest of the way in. He moves slowly and I keep thinking that he must be all the way in, but then he keeps on inching in. Inch after inch of glorious thickness that fills me to the max. By the time the base of his thick cock hits against my body, I’m starting to worry I won’t be able to take anymore. But he settles and begins to swivel his hips gently, grinding his perfect body slowly up and down, each time brushing my clit, sending a jolt through my body.
Nico looks down into my eyes and I feel full. Incredibly full. But not just from his thick length slowly rocking into me, I’m full of so much more. Emotion, warmth, raw feeling. Something I haven’t felt in a very long time. Alive.
My eyes start to close as I feel my next orgasm rise to the surface. I want to let it wash over me, surrender to its intensity. But Nico has other plans. He gently kisses my lips and whispers to me, “I want to watch you. Please.” His words are so tender and soft, I’m unable to deny him anything. My orgasm rolls over me and I fight the urge to close my eyes. Instead I keep Nico’s gaze and give him what he wants, allowing him to feel my orgasm through my eyes as my body milks him through waves of uncontrolled spasms.
I’m shaking as he comes. His hips finally changing from a soft thrust to a ferocious pounding. I feel his thickness growing inside of me and then he comes on a growl. A raw, primal growl that is so intensely sensual that it detonates an unexpected orgasm from my body and we both pant through our climax together. It’s the most powerful intimate experience of my entire life, and it’s only our first time together.
* * *
I don’t remember falling asleep, but I wake up before Nico. I can tell it’s morning by the light straining to come in through the drawn window shade. My head is resting in the crook of his shoulder and his grip is tight around me, even in his sleep. I admire the beautiful man holding me, his muscles bulging even in his relaxed state. It’s crazy how perfect his body is, as if it was sculpted by an artist. And the tattoos. Damn, the tattoos just add to the beauty, making him look like an exotic creature. I’ve never been with a man with tattoos. I’ve liked them from afar, but never had one in my bed. Men with this many tattoos tend to have an edge. A bad boy. I only go for the safe ones. At least I did.
Although I’m thoroughly enjoying watching him sleep, I need to go to the bathroom. I carefully untangle myself from Nico’s thick arms, cautiously trying not to wake him. I spend a few minutes in the bathroom cleaning myself up and running my fingers through my hair. I look in the mirror and realize I look different, but I’m not sure what it is that I see to make me feel that way. Relaxed perhaps?
I make it back to the bed and I think I’ve succeeded at not waking him, when a large arm grabs me and I’m suddenly on my back beneath Nico. It’s a little unnerving the way he tosses me around like I’m light as a feather, but at the same time I find it incredibly sexy. “Good morning, beautiful.” Nico buries his head in my neck as he speaks. His words vibrate with heat on my neck and goose bumps break out all over my body.
I can’t see his face, but I hear in his voice that he’s smiling. I smile back at him even though he can’t see me either. “Good morning.” I lift my chin, giving him better access to the spot he’s gently sucking and I feel his arousal on my leg. He’s hard and it’s not just the erection that men seem to wake up with.
Nico shifts his hips and his body completely covers mine, I feel him positioned perfectly at my opening. But he pauses and pulls his head back to look at me. “Are you sore?”
I actually am pretty sore. And not just my private area. My whole body feels a little beat up from the night before. But it’s a good feeling and I want more of him. I attempt to minimize my discomfort, knowing full disclosure might lead to him stopping. “Not really.”
Nico drops his head and I hear a deep chuckle. “You know, for a lawyer, you’re a shit liar.”
“Are you saying that lawyers are usually good liars?”
Nico arches an eyebrow in amusement. “That’s what I’m saying.”
“And how do you know that I’m lying? Maybe I’m not sore. Maybe you’re just too full of yourself thinking that you can make me sore that easily.”
Both of Nico’s eyebrows shoot up in response to my comment. “Well for starters, I asked you a direct question and you responded not really. I seem to remember that’s what you say when you have an answer that I’m not going to like.”
I squint my eyes and furrow my brows in an effort to look pissed off. But there’s no use. He’s absolutely right and I can’t pretend he’s not. I let out an exasperated, over exaggerated sigh and roll my eyes. “So maybe I’m a little sore.”
Nico smirks, looking full of himself. I’m not sure if he’s full of himself for being right or for making me sore. Both would be my guess. But then something in his face changes and I watch his eyes darken before he begins to climb off of me. I reach for him as his body is half lifted off of mine. “Where are you going?”
“I’m hungry. I was going to have some breakfast since you’re sore.”
I begin to answer, ready to argue with him, when I realize what he’s doing. He isn’t lifting himself off of me, he’s lowering himself down my body. Nico is hungry and I can’t wait to be his meal.
