Текст книги "Games Frat Boys Play "

Автор книги: Todd Gregory

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Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

Chapter 6

Hell Week was aptly named.

It started on Sunday evening, and the rules were stringent. We lined up at the far end of the parking lot underneath the basketball hoop in nice dress clothes, complete with jacket and tie. Once the brothers led us inside, everything changed. We changed into white T-shirts and jeans—which we had to wear whenever we were in the house, and the only excuse to not be in the house was class or work. They replaced our pledge pins with bricks, which we had to carry with us everywhere. Knowing that Hell Week was modeled on military boot camp did not help in the least. By the end of the first day I was completely exhausted. I’d had a slight inkling that the brothers of Beta Kappa had a sadistic streak, but what surfaced that week was nothing I could have imagined. Gone were the smiling, friendly faces—replaced with reddened faces with their mouths open wide as they yelled at us, spittle sometimes flying into our faces. I learned to dread the sound of a whistle, because it came to mean more torture to be endured. We were required to run everywhere inside the house. We camped out in the Chapter Room with sleeping bags and pillows—on those rare occasions they let us sleep. We weren’t allowed to eat or drink, and by the end of Monday my stomach had progressed from hunger to a dull regular ache. The sound of the whistle meant running at full speed into the Great Room and leaning against the wall with our knees bent at a ninety-degree angle until the whistle blew again to let us up. My legs ached, and I could barely think clearly. Several times I thought about just giving up and walking out of the house. But I didn’t want to let my pledge brothers down. They were enduring it all with me, and so I gritted my teeth and kept enduring. When they let us head back into the Chapter Room to sleep around three in the morning, I would put my head on my pillow and ask myself, Is this worth it? I sat through my classes with my mind asleep and my eyes open. I prayed every day that the torture would end. I found myself fantasizing about food. I promised myself that when it was all over, I was going to treat myself to the best meal I could find in Polk.

And finally on Thursday morning before dawn we cleaned the Chapter Room and snuck out of the house, not leaving a trace behind to show we’d ever been there.

As I drove home, despite being bone-achingly tired and sleepy, I was elated. I’d done it. I’d survived Hell Week.

I walked into my apartment and made myself a peanut butter sandwich. I brought down some ground sirloin from the freezer to the fridge for later. After finishing the sandwich, I staggered down the hall to my bedroom and collapsed on the bed without bothering to undress. I slept for nine hours, not waking up until about three in the afternoon. I was still worn down but felt almost human. I’d slept through all of my classes but didn’t care. I started a pot of coffee and got into the shower. As I showered, I wondered what they had in store for us that night. We were to avoid brothers all day—if we saw one we weren’t supposed to meet his eyes. We were supposed to be lined up under the basketball hoop at six p.m.; all they told us was we’d be meeting with Beta Kappa’s national examiner.

I was on my second cup of coffee when I opened my front door to get the newspaper just as Jeff and Blair walked out their front door.

“Oh!” I started to step back inside, but they stopped me with a laugh.

“Relax, you’re not on campus or at the house,” Blair said. “We’re not going to report you or haze you.” He winked at me.

“So you made it through Hell Week.” Jeff smiled and shook his head. “Man, I don’t think I could go through that again. No offense, but you look terrible.”

“No worse than you did when you went through it.” Blair playfully punched him in the arm. “How was it?”

“Awful,” I said with a grin. “But I survived. Hey, I was about to make something to eat. I’m starving.”

“How much weight did you gain?” Blair asked as they followed me inside. “I gained three pounds during Hell Week.”

I walked into the kitchen. “How did you gain weight?” I asked, puzzled. “We weren’t allowed to eat.”

They exchanged glances. “No one fed you?” Blair said slowly. “I know it’s a rule, Jordy, but you can be honest with us. It’s over now. You did eat, right?”

“No one fed me.” I was confused. “They told us we weren’t supposed to eat or drink all week. I’ve never been so hungry in my life.”

“So you turned down food?” Jeff asked. “Really, Jordy, you didn’t have to do that.”

“No one offered me anything.” I shook my head. “What are you guys talking about? You’re not making any sense.” I turned on the stove and got the thawed pack of ground sirloin out and put it on the counter.

“Seriously, Jordy, you don’t have to cover for anyone,” Blair insisted. “Did you or did you not get fed this week?”

I started making patties. “No, I’m not covering for anyone. No one fed me.” I got a skillet down and placed the patties in it. “Were they supposed to? I’m confused. I thought we weren’t supposed to eat.”

“I hate to break it to you, but yes,” Jeff explained. “It’s a rule, yes, but brothers break it all the time. It’s all a part of the game. They kidnap you off campus and take you to Carl’s Jr. or something. Or they sneak you into their rooms and give you food. You’re not supposed to go all week without being fed, Jordy—you’re just not supposed to get caught.”

The burgers began sizzling. I sprinkled salt, pepper, basil, and thyme on them and covered the skillet with a lid. “I don’t understand.” I shook my head. “My brain is fried, frankly. So you’re saying brothers were supposed to feed us this week?”

They nodded in unison. “Hell Week is a game,” Blair went on. “There are rules, sure, but the brothers are supposed to help the pledges through the week.”

“Your big brother didn’t feed you?” A muscle worked in Jeff’s jaw. “That’s his goddamned job. You’re not supposed to starve!” He slammed his fist down on the bar. “Christ!”

“I fed Jeff so much during Hell Week he actually gained weight.” Blair grinned, tousling Jeff’s hair playfully. “And like I said, I gained three pounds during mine.”

“No, Roger didn’t feed me at all.” I flipped the burgers and salted that side. “You guys sure you don’t want one?” My mind was racing. Roger was supposed to feed me? To take care of me all week?

I was starting to feel a little sick. Roger had been distant—friendly and polite but never rude. I’d asked him to do things with me, but he always turned me down with a very polite smile. True, I’d been spending a lot of time with Chad, but it wasn’t like I’d been blowing Roger off.

They both nodded. “I thought Roger would make a better big brother than that,” Jeff said, taking a swig from his bottle of Coke. He sighed. “I thought he’d make a great big brother.”

“Roger hasn’t spoken to me in weeks,” I said, getting out the hamburger buns and putting two in the toaster. “Well, not really since Big Brother Night.” I shrugged. “I try, but he just won’t have anything to do with me, and you can only slam your head into a brick wall so many times.”

“That’s weird,” Blair commented. “Did something happen on Big Brother Night?”

I shrugged as I started slicing an onion. My eyes started watering. “I thought we were friends, but he really hates Chad York.” I cut the onion into thick slices. “And when I started hanging out with him—”

“Stop!” Blair interrupted me. He looked at Jeff. “I guess we should have been paying more attention. You’ve been hanging out with Chad?”

I nodded, getting out the jar of pickle slices. I flipped the burgers again, placing slices of cheese on them. “Yeah, right after Big Brother Night. I ran into Chad when I was leaving the house and we wound up going to the Iron Skillet for breakfast. We started hanging out. He’s really nice. He’s been taking me to Fusions.” I started spreading ketchup on the buns. My stomach growled. “But I guess Roger doesn’t want to be friends with me if I’m friends with Chad.” I rolled my eyes. It sounded kind of juvenile.

“But your buddy Chad didn’t feed you, either, did he?” Jeff asked angrily.

“Well, no,” I admitted. I’d hardly seen Chad all week.

“Some friend.”

“Look, guys, what’s going on here?” I asked crossly. My stomach growled again. “My brain is kind of fried right now, so you’re going to have to be a little less obtuse.” I took a bite out of my burger and moaned in pleasure.

It was the best cheeseburger I’d ever had.

“This is our fault.” Blair sighed. “We should have been more honest with you.”

“But in our defense, it’s not really cool to talk bad about brothers to pledges.” Jeff shrugged. “That whole brotherhood thing?” He shook his head. “The rules really suck sometimes. But, Jordy, you really need to stay away from Chad York. He’s not what you think.”

“You sound like Roger,” I said stiffly, taking another bite of the cheeseburger. Juice dribbled down my chin. “What is the deal, anyway? Why are you guys so down on Chad?”

“Did Roger ever tell you why he doesn’t like Chad?” Jeff asked. “You know Roger is my little brother, don’t you?”

“Yes, I knew that.” I rolled my eyes. “It’s one of the questions on the interviews we have to do. What difference does that make?”

“Because Roger doesn’t speak to me, either,” Jeff replied. “When I was his big brother, I blew it. I wasn’t there for him during Hell Week, or really any time he needed me.” Jeff rubbed his eyes. “I’m not proud of it, Jordy. But that semester was when Blair was doing an internship in London, and I wasn’t really paying attention to what was going on.”

“You fed him at least,” Blair pointed out.

“That isn’t the point,” Jeff replied. “The point is, Chad was horrible to Roger that entire semester, and I didn’t do anything.”

“What are you talking about?” I started wolfing down my second burger. My stomach was growling for more food. “You’re not making any sense.”

“Chad’s a horrible person,” Jeff said venomously. “If I’d known what was going on, I would have blackballed him. He doesn’t deserve to be a brother. Brothers don’t treat brothers the way he treated Roger.”

“What did he do that was so awful?” I finished the second burger and sighed in relief.

“This is going to sound mean,” Jeff replied. “But I can’t tell this story without sounding mean. Roger, if you hadn’t noticed, isn’t exactly the best-looking guy.”

“So? Neither am I.” I turned on the hot water spigot and started placing the dirty dishes in the sink. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Chad, on the other hand, is really good looking,” Jeff went on.

“If you like that type,” Blair snapped. “I personally don’t.”

Jeff smiled at him. “Never mind, Blair. Do you think Chad is good looking?”

I nodded. “I think he’s perfect.”

They exchanged another glance. “Roger was attracted to Chad. The way I figure it, Chad liked the attention—”

“He’s an attention whore,” Blair interrupted.

“And so Chad really led Roger on. He pretended like he was trying to help Roger—you know, helping pick out his clothes, helping him with his hair—”

My hand flew to my hair.

“—and letting him hang out with Chad and his buddies Brandon and Rees. Brandon and Rees aren’t bad guys really—”

“Just stupid,” Blair snapped. “Incredibly stupid.”

“—and they used to take him to Fusions on Wednesday nights—”

My God, Fusions. They used to take Roger to Fusions?

I remembered Chad saying teasingly to Roger, “Fusions isn’t Roger’s kind of place, is it, Roger?”

“—and then, after they were initiated, after leading him on for months, Chad told Roger he wasn’t interested in him that way, and because of Roger’s feelings for him, it was probably for the best they not be friends or hang out anymore. He cut Roger off at the knees. He told him on Initiation Night, which should have been a really happy night for Roger. Instead, Roger was devastated.” Jeff’s face set angrily. “I spent the whole goddamned night picking up the pieces. And the next day I confronted Chad. He just laughed in my face.” Jeff’s voice shook. “I should have punched him in the face, is what I should have done. Brothers don’t treat brothers that way.”

“Okay.” I bit my lip. “So Chad was mean to Roger.” Even as I said the words, I thought, But you only have Roger’s word for it. You don’t know what happened, and you never asked Chad for his side of the story. “I don’t see what this has to do with me.”

“It has everything to do with you,” Blair went on. He reached over and grabbed one of my hands. “I know I haven’t been around much, or had time to do anything other than say hi in passing, but I’ve noticed you’ve been dressing better. Has Chad been helping you pick out clothes?”

“Yes, he has.” I nodded, sticking out my lower lip. “So? So what if he has? Is it so hard for you to believe he’s just being nice? Because he cares about me?”

He kept on, ignoring what I’d just said. “And your hair, too, right? He helped you with your hair, didn’t he?”

“Yes. He taught me how to do my hair. But it’s not the same thing.” I felt nauseated. They’re wrong, they have to be wrong. Chad loves me. “I agree there are similarities, but—”

“Has Chad ever kissed you, or touched you in any way that could be construed as a pass?” It was Jeff’s turn now. He folded his arms. “Has there been anything other than a friendly hug, or a peck on the cheek?”

“We’ve never kissed, and he’s hugged me a few times, yes. But—”

“It’s the same thing all over again.” Jeff shook his head. “It’s exactly the same.” He leaned forward. “Please, please, Jordy, tell me you aren’t in love with him. Please.”

I looked from one to the other. I didn’t want to have this conversation with them. It was obvious they weren’t going to believe anything I said and were all too willing to believe the absolute worst about Chad. I was on the verge of tears. “I know it might be hard for the two of you”—I said, my voice shaking—“to imagine that someone like Chad might actually be interested in me, but—”

“No, that’s not what we’re saying,” Blair soothed. He got off the bar stool and came around into the kitchen. “What we’re saying is that Chad plays these kinds of games with people. He hurts people on purpose, Jordy. He’s going to hurt you, and we care too much about you to let that happen.” He tried to put his arms around me, but I pushed him away.

“Of course you’re good enough for Chad,” Jeff insisted. “You’re too good for him. He’s not good enough for you. You deserve better than him. Listen to us, Jordy, please.”

“I think it might be best if you left,” I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking.

“Jordy—”

“Please.” I turned my back on them.

I heard the door close behind them.

I wandered back into my bedroom and looked at the clock. I had to be at the house in two hours.

I grabbed my cell phone and started to call Chad.

Contact with brothers was forbidden before tonight.

Why would they lie to me? Why would they tell me all that stuff if it weren’t true?

Why hadn’t anyone fed me? All week?

It was St. Bernard all over again.

No one likes me. No one cares about me. No one wants me to be a Beta Kappa. My big brother hates me, and Chad—

No, I wouldn’t believe that.

Chad did care about me.

Chad loved me.

But he’s never really touched you, has he, other than a sexless hug or kiss on the cheek?

I started shaking. I sat down on the bed.

They know him better than you do. There’s no reason for them to lie to you. Jeff and Blair have been nothing but kind to you since the day you met them. If they’d known about you and Chad, they would have said all of this to you long before today. And you’ve blown off Roger how many times? For Chad? You chose Chad over your big brother—and if what they said was true, can you blame Roger for not wanting to be your friend?

“It’s not true,” I whispered, willing myself to believe. “Chad really does care about me. He knows I’m a virgin. He knows I don’t have a lot of experience. He just doesn’t want to rush me into something I’m not ready for.”

How many times had someone really hot hit on Chad at Fusions, only to be turned down? How many times had Chad just shook his head and said, “No, thank you, I’m here with Jordy” as he slipped his arm around my shoulders?

That had to mean something. It had to.

By the time I was standing in the parking lot lined up with my pledge brothers I was a complete emotional wreck. I couldn’t even think about what might be in store for us as Eric Matthews walked across the parking lot to greet us at precisely six p.m. Once we were inside and they ordered us to change back into our Hell Week clothes, screaming and yelling at us as we fumbled out of our dress clothes and put on the filthy, nasty clothes we’d worn every moment we’d been in the house all week, I was disconnected. Chad wasn’t in the crowd of brothers screaming at us. Chad wasn’t there as they blindfolded us and the final, most horrible night of our pledge semester began.

The night seemed endless. The blindfolds never came off, as we were led around the house and screamed at almost constantly. At some point I just went numb. I just didn’t care anymore. I spent most of the night sitting on the floor while weird music that sounded like whales fucking blared in my ears. And my interview with the national examiner, who would make the final decision as to whether I would be a Beta Kappa or not, was horrible. He called me names. He asked me if I thought I could buy my way into the brotherhood because I was rich. He called me lazy, stupid, and mean. He accused me of blowing off my big brother.

My God, everyone in the house has noticed.

“Get this spoiled brat out of my sight!” He spat the words at me, and someone helped me to my feet and took me out of the room. I was returned to the room with the loud music and seated on the floor.

It was all I could do not to cry.

On and on the night dragged.

And then, someone was whispering in my ear. “Stand up and come with me.” I didn’t recognize the voice. I just wanted to get away from the horrible room I was in with the horrendous loud noise that sounded like a cross between whale song and the screaming of an animal being slaughtered. I heard a door shut behind me, and I sensed I was in a room full of people.

“Take off your blindfold.”

I did. I was in the Chapter Room, facing a room full of the brothers. Roger stood directly in front of me. “I’m so sorry, Jordy. We tried everything. But the national examiner just doesn’t think you’re Beta Kappa material.”

I couldn’t look him or any of the others in the face. I looked down at the floor.

“But we like you, Jordy.” Roger’s voice shook. “We think you are Beta Kappa material. We want you to come back and pledge again next semester. Will you do it?”

I looked up into Roger’s face. I looked around the room at the faces of the other brothers. They all looked sad.

I wanted to scream no and walk out of the house for good.

But I looked at Roger. There were tears in his eyes. And I thought about how shitty I’d been to him, how I’d blown him off over and over again to hang out with Chad, and how he didn’t deserve that. Not after everything Chad had already put him through. And I knew the national examiner was right.

I didn’t deserve to be a Beta Kappa yet. And I would do it all over again—only this time, I would do it right.

“Yes,” I said, my eyes filling with tears.

Roger threw his arms around me as the entire room cheered. “Congratulations, you passed the final test,” Roger whispered in my ear.

I was too dumbfounded, too shocked, to say anything as Roger pulled me through the crowd of brothers who were slapping me on the back, saying congratulations, and grinning. When we reached the door to the storeroom in the back, Roger whispered, “Get back in there and be quiet. We have a few more pledges to get through.” He opened the door and I walked through.

Jacob was standing there, his face streaked with tears. He was holding a bottle of champagne, and handed me one. He was about halfway done with his bottle. “Dude, we made it!” He grinned, weaving a little bit.

I popped the cork on mine and took a swallow. We were alone. I steeled my courage. It was now or never. “Jacob, what happened with you and your big brother?”

“Chad?” He made a face and took another drink. His face darkened. “We’re not supposed to say bad things about brothers.”

“It’s just me,” I whispered. By the sudden increase in volume of that horrible music, I knew they’d just brought in another one of my pledge brothers. “I won’t say anything, Jacob, I promise.”

“He only picked me to be his little brother because he wanted me to fuck him,” Jacob whispered back, winking at me. “I thought he wanted me to be his boyfriend, but all he wanted was to get fucked.” He shrugged. “Whatever. He has a nice, tight ass, so I’ll fuck him whenever he wants me to.”

My heart sank. “I saw you two through his window on Big Brother Night.”

Jacob hiccuped. “I shouldn’t have done it anymore after that night.” He swayed again, and I grabbed him before he could topple over. “I want a boyfriend. I want to be in love.” He winked at me. “But he’s a good fuck, and he was a brother so I couldn’t say no.” He giggled. “The last time was last night. He took me to his room and he fed me, and I fucked him. But that’s the last time ’cuz now I’m a brother.”

A loud cheer from the Chapter Room let me know another pledge had passed the final test, and before I knew it Phil Shea had joined us. I gave him a hug, but my mind was elsewhere.

All along Chad had been getting fucked by Jacob. And he FED him during Hell Week.

My mind was reeling. I alternated between anger and pain, hurt and rage, even as I put on a good face for each of my pledge brothers as they passed the final test. I knew I should be more excited about finally making it into the brotherhood, but all I could think about was Chad.

What game had he been playing with me?

And even as the brothers led us out to the parking lot to burn those nasty T-shirts, I couldn’t help but look for Chad. I was drunk, half of my bottle of champagne downed in toasts with my brothers in the storage closet. We sang the alma mater as our shirts burned, as brothers hugged us and congratulated us, called us “Brother” for the first time. I kept looking for Chad, but there was no sign of him anywhere.

And as the fire flickered out and the party moved back inside the house, I saw the light in his room was on.

I left the others and went to his room.

I knocked on his door. “Come in,” he said from inside. When I opened the door, he smiled. “Hi, Jordy. Welcome to the brotherhood.”

“Thanks.” I took another swig from the champagne bottle. “Why weren’t you there?”

“After Jacob passed the test, I came back to my room.” He shrugged. “I did my part and was bored.”

“It would have meant a lot to me to have you there.”

“How sweet.” Chad shrugged. “But your big brother was there, wasn’t he?” When I nodded, he added, “I’m actually kind of glad you came by. We need to talk.”

“Really?” I swallowed, keeping my face neutral. I heard Jeff saying in my head, “He told him on Initiation Night.”

“I’m afraid you may have gotten the wrong impression.” Chad gave me a phony-looking smile. I’d seen it before, when someone Chad thought was gross hit on him at Fusions. “And I wanted to clear things up. I mean, I might be wrong.”

“Well, that’s good, right?” I replied. I was amazed at how level my voice sounded, because my heart was pounding. “It’s always better to clear things up, make sure we’re on the same page. What might you be wrong about?”

“About us, Jordy.” Chad sat down on his desk chair. “I hope you haven’t gotten the impression that we’re dating or anything, or that we could ever be more than friends.”

“And why is that?” I heard myself saying. My heart was pounding so loud I was surprised he couldn’t hear it.

“Well, you know, you’re funny and sweet and a lot of fun to be around, but you just aren’t my type, if you know what I mean.”

It felt like my soul was being pierced and shattering into a million pieces. My mind split. There was a part of it that was screaming in agony, in pain, but somehow the loud beating of my heart was drowning out the screams, shoving them behind a door in the back of my mind. Another part of me floated free, disconnected from my body, and floated up to the ceiling where I could watch and listen to what was going on.

“No, Chad, I don’t know what you mean.” My smile was frozen in place. “Could you be a little more clear?”

He sighed. “Oh, Jordy, why do you make me say this?” He shrugged. “I like guys who are in shape, have muscles—you know, who take care of themselves. Not like you.”

Each sentence was another punch in the jaw. I was being pummeled, thrown back into the ring corner and being worked over mercilessly. I heard myself laugh as I struggled to keep control of myself. No one at St. Bernard had ever seen me cry, no matter how cruel they’d been.

But their cruelty had never hurt this much.

He was not going to see me cry. He was never going to know how much this hurt.

“Well, I didn’t think that, Chad, so you don’t have anything to worry about,” I heard myself say. “I can’t think why you had that impression in the first place.” I watched his face as it relaxed into relief.

I wanted to punch him in the face. I wanted to kick him in the balls and stomp on him as he writhed on the floor in agony.

“Well, I wasn’t sure, so I wanted to be clear.” He mock-wiped his forehead. “Whew. I’m so sorry, Jordy. I didn’t want to seem mean or anything. I’m glad I was wrong, and now we’ve got that awkwardness out of the way. I really am glad we’re friends, Jordy.”

And I want to see you die in excruciating pain.

“Me too.” I forced a smile on my face. “You have no idea how happy I am we’re friends.” I had to get out of there. I was close to losing it completely, and he was never going to see me cry. As long as there was breath in my body, Chad York would never see me cry. “Well, I’m—I’m going back to the party.”

“I’ll be there in a sec.” He gave me a hug, a weird one where he leaned forward and barely touched me. He gave me a cool peck on the cheek and patted me on the back again.

Somehow I walked out of the room and shut the door behind me before my breath started coming in gasps. I couldn’t catch my breath, and my eyes began watering as I held on to the wall for support. I had to get out of there. I wanted to get to my car and just drive. I wanted to get as far away from Polk as I possibly could. I wanted to forget I’d ever come here, that this whole thing had been a huge mistake—

“Jordy?”

It was Roger.

“Leave me alone, Roger,” I said, my voice shaking as I struggled to control the sobs. I would not cry in front of him. “I want to go home.”

“You’re in no condition to drive,” he replied. “Come on into my room and tell me what’s wrong.” He peered at me in the dim light of the hallway. “It’s Chad, isn’t it?”

I nodded, and he put his arm around me, leading me down the hall to his room. He unlocked the door and pushed me inside. He shut the door behind us and I sat down on the bed. I started sobbing, and the story came pouring out of me. “I am repulsive to him. I am fat and ugly and gross.” I wiped at my face. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I must have been crazy to think someone like him would want me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Jordy,” Roger said softly as he rolled a joint. “You have to get that out of your head. Chad’s the one with the problem.”

“No, he was right.” I forced a weak smile on my face. “Look at me. Who in their right mind would want me?”

“You need to stop beating yourself up about this.” He lit the joint. “Trust me, I know.”

“And I’ve been so shitty to you.” I buried my face in my hands. “I wish I was dead.” I waved the joint away. “How could I have been so stupid?”

“I tried to warn you,” he said simply. “But I’ve never wished I’d been wrong more in my life.”

His words, his kindness, made me cry even harder. “He needs to pay for treating people like this,” I blubbered. “He can’t get away with this.”

“Forget about him,” Roger said, sitting down next to me and putting his arm around me. “You’re worth a hundred of him.”

I put my head down on his shoulder. “He needs to pay.”

Roger kissed me.

I kissed him back.

He pushed me gently back down on the bed and unbuttoned my shirt. He started kissing my chest, my stomach, and then undid my pants. I put my hands behind my head.

Stop him, don’t let him do this, you aren’t interested in him.

But I didn’t stop him, because it felt good. He put his mouth on my cock, and I closed my eyes. His mouth felt incredible on my cock. He started swirling his tongue around the head, and I started moaning. But even through the pleasure, no matter how good it felt as he sucked my cock, I couldn’t get Chad’s face out of my head.

You need to make him pay for this humiliation.

And as I came, my entire body going rigid with the incredible feeling of my first orgasm induced by someone else, the answer came to me.

Yes, I would make Chad pay. If the only thing wrong with me was my body, well, I could fix that. This ugly duckling would turn himself into a swan. And I would make Chad want me.

And as Roger fell asleep in my arms, a smile crossed my face.

No one will ever make me feel like this again. Ever. And I’ll make Chad want me. I’ll work on my body and make myself physically beautiful. And when he wants me, finally, I’ll have my chance.

I would make him pay.