Текст книги "The Exhibitionist"

Автор книги: Tara Sue Me

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He looked smug. “Yes, it’s the best I can do, since I don’t have two cocks.”

I was impaled by his finger and I knew what would soon be replacing it. I wanted it. Badly.

“Now,” he said, “I think it’s about time you mounted up so I can fuck you properly.”

I rose above him slightly, knowing he was lining himself up. I looked down so I could watch as I lowered myself.

“There you go. Take that cock,” he said. “Going to fuck that ass.”

I closed my eyes when I felt him start to enter me and I couldn’t stop the moan that escaped my lips. That first penetration was always the best. The most intense. The initial stretch, followed by the push inside, finally feeling him fill me so completely; there wasn’t room for anything other than him. Even my thoughts belonged to him.

“Oh, fuck yes,” he said. “Ride me.”

He went so deep in this position. I felt him everywhere. For a second I wasn’t sure I could move. His hands grabbed my waist and he started lifting me and then bringing me back down on him.

“Ah. Ah. Ah,” I panted in time with our movements.

He worked his hips harder and faster. “Yes, damn it. You like me fucking your ass, don’t you?”

I made some sort of sound, it didn’t sound like anything to me, but Nathaniel knew exactly how I felt and reacted. I worked my body in time with his hands, needing him harder and deeper.

“Naughty girls love cock and take it anywhere their man wants to put it.” His voice was rough. “Look to your right, Abigail. See how naughty you are.”

I knew what I’d see when I turned my head. I’d planned the bedroom after all. I was the one who decided to place a mirror exactly where it’d be possible to see ourselves. Even then, it was still somewhat of a shock to see me wanton and free, fucking myself with his cock.

“See it?” he asked. “See how naughty you are?” His hand drifted to my breasts and he fondled me roughly.

Watching us in the mirror was even better than watching us on film. With the mirror, I felt every thrust of his hips, every pinch of his fingers on my sensitive nipples. My eyes threatened to roll back in my head, but he wouldn’t allow it.

“Don’t even think about closing your eyes,” he said. “I want you to watch as I come inside you. Hold still.”

I held still suspended above him, bracing myself for what I knew was coming. “Please let me come,” I begged.

“Yes,” he said, right before he began punishing thrusts that hit me oh so right. Over and over he stroked in and out of me and my release was rushing toward me, unstoppable.

“Fuck, fuck, oh, holy fucking shit.” The movement of him within me, the sight of us in the mirror, was too much and I gave in to the building need and let my climax crash over me.

“Yes. Damn it.” They were the only words he could manage as his own climax made him stiffen and press deep inside me.

I fell on top of him, exhausted, but he held me tight in his arms, kissing my hair and murmuring his love. I lifted my head for a soft kiss. It wasn’t until we were both almost asleep that I realized I needed to call Lynne back. Too tired to move and knowing it was too late, I put it on my mental to-do list for the next day.

Chapter Nine

ABBY

Nathaniel had business meetings in Wilmington the following afternoon, so he was working from home in the morning. We all ate breakfast together and he went with me to drop the kids off at preschool. Then we came home to find my supervisor, Meagan, waiting for me. Nathaniel nodded her way to welcome her before closing himself in his office to work.

He wasn’t one to hold grudges, but I’d wound up in a bad situation a few months ago and he blamed Meagan.

“He’s never going to like me, is he?” she asked as I led her into the library.

I decided to treat that as a rhetorical question. “I can’t believe you’re here this early. When you said you’d stop by today, I thought it’d be closer to lunchtime.”

“I spent the night in a little bed-and-breakfast nearby,” she said. “I do that sometimes, just take a night and get out of the city. It clears my head.”

We chatted in the library for a while about work, discussing the show and possibilities for the Web site. She asked to see the house and I was giving her a tour when the doorbell rang.

“Nathaniel’s in a conference call. I need to get that,” I said to Meagan, hurrying from the kitchen to get the door.

“No problem,” she said. “I need to be heading back to the city anyway. I’ll walk with you.”

We made our way to the front door. As expected, Nathaniel’s office door was closed as we walked by and I heard someone speaking on the speakerphone.

“I don’t think he was expecting anyone,” I said. “He would have told me if he was.”

Apollo sat by the front door, waiting, but trotted up to Meagan when he saw her. He was timid around most people, but he liked her. Meagan had told me once that she always had a golden retriever growing up, but her current apartment wouldn’t allow dogs.

I peeked through the peephole, surprised at who I saw. I unlocked the door and opened it.

“Mr. DeVaan,” I said. “Please come in.”

I’d met Master DeVaan the first time Nathaniel and I went to Wilmington. He owned an art gallery there, but I also found out that he was a photographer. One of his specialties was erotic photos.

“Thank you, Abby,” he said. “Sorry to just drop by like this, but your portrait was delivered yesterday. I thought I’d bring it over myself.”

“Luke?” Meagan asked in a voice so strained that I turned my entire attention to her. She was so pale she looked as if she’d seen a ghost. For a second she looked as if she just might be one herself.

DeVaan seemed to notice for the first time that we weren’t alone. “Meagan? Is that you?”

An uneasy silence fell across the room, broken only by Nathaniel coming to the door.

“DeVaan,” he said. “I just got your text. I’m sorry I didn’t reply. I’ve been in teleconferences most of the morning.” He made it into the foyer and immediately noticed the tension between Meagan and DeVaan. “I would introduce you, but it appears you might already know Meagan.”

Meagan smiled a little too sweetly. “Our paths crossed years ago,” she said, and I got the impression she wanted to speak before DeVaan did. “Isn’t that right, Luke?”

So that was his first name. Funny, he didn’t look like how I pictured a Luke. He was quite handsome with blue eyes that always seemed as if they were in on a secret. At Meagan’s question, his voice took on the soft, seductive tone I remembered from when we’d meet in Delaware.

“If that’s what you want to call it, sweetheart,” he said, and Meagan flinched.

Oh yes, there was something there. In the few short moments since I opened the door, Luke had gone from average ordinary man to a hunter and it was crystal clear to everyone that Meagan was his prey.

Nathaniel cleared his throat. “Your text said you had Abby’s portrait?”

Luke held up the package in his right hand. “Yes, would you like to see?”

Nathaniel looked over at me. He hadn’t told me which picture he’d selected from the photography session he’d arranged not too long ago. “Why don’t you follow me?” he said, and the two men went down the hall. Luke didn’t turn back.

“And with that, I’m out of here,” Meagan said.

Of course, I had two thousand questions I wanted to ask her, but she clearly didn’t want to talk, so I only nodded.

I held the door open for her while she rummaged in her purse for her keys. “Damn it,” she said, digging in her pockets. “I think I left them in the library.”

“I can go get them,” I said. “If you want to wait here.”

“I’ll go with you.”

I thought the two guys would be in the office, so I was surprised to find it empty when we walked past. That meant they were probably in the library, because I doubted Nathaniel took him upstairs to the playroom.

And in fact, the two men were standing by the very chairs we’d recently vacated. I glanced at Meagan, prepared to offer to go get her keys by myself. But she pushed her shoulders back and held her head high, and I knew she was going to follow me inside.

She didn’t follow me, though. She walked right past me, into the library, and up to the two men. “I left my keys.”

Luke snorted. “Likely.”

Meagan glared at him. “Don’t even go getting a big head. I left them here before I knew it was you at the door.”

“I thought you might want to see me,” Luke said. “It’s been what? Two years?”

“You know where to find me. I’m at the club almost every weekend.”

Luke crossed his arms and leaned against the table at his side. “You still hang out at that dive?”

“It’s not that bad,” Meagan said. I really wanted to interrupt and say yes, it was that bad, but I wasn’t about to remind Meagan of the bad experience I’d had there the one time she took me.

“It’s horrible,” Luke said. “But not for long. I’ve put a bid in to buy it.”

Meagan almost dropped her keys again. “You what?”

“I’ve decided to diversify. Open up a new business venture. Someone needs to shake that place up.”

“I guess I’ll have to enjoy it while I can then, before you go and ruin it like you do everything else.” Meagan nodded toward me and Nathaniel. “See you two later. Luke, see you in another two years. Three, if I’m lucky.”

She took a step toward the library door, but Luke blocked her. “If all goes according to plan, the club will be under my management in two months. I’ll send you an invitation to the opening.”

“I’m busy that weekend.”

He smirked and then his voice dropped. “We’ll play it your way for now, sweetheart.”

She started to say something, but instead flipped her hair over her shoulder and marched out of the library. He watched her retreating figure and when she disappeared, he let out his breath in a long exhale before turning around.

Nathaniel raised an eyebrow at him. “That was interesting.”

Luke gave a half smile. “Meagan and I have a bit of unresolved business,” he said, turning back to the package, clearly signaling he didn’t want to discuss it any further. “Let’s get this portrait out. I want to see what you think.”

My heart pounded. I normally didn’t like pictures of myself, but I was really curious to see how this one had turned out. Master DeVaan was a real artist, which was why we had asked him to take my photograph. I remembered the photos he had in the back room of his gallery. They were subtly erotic and graceful.

He slid my framed photo out of the box, but all that was visible was the back. “I went ahead and framed it. Thought that would be easier for hanging.”

Yes, whatever. Just let me see it.

Luke smiled. “I have to say, I’m really pleased with the way this turned out.”

He slowly turned it around and I forgot how to breathe.

It was stunning.

I couldn’t believe what I saw. The image was so perfect, so beautiful, so … there weren’t words.

“I know it was only to be Abby’s portrait, but when I saw this proof, I just knew,” Luke said.

“I’ve never seen anything so exquisitely beautiful,” Nathaniel whispered. “The angle …”

The image of us was in black-and-white and somehow taken from above. It showed my back, my hair pulled to one side to showcase my collar, and the rope binding my arms behind me. That alone would have made a gorgeous picture, but the addition of Nathaniel was what set it apart.

His head rested in the middle of my lower back, and looking at the picture, I could almost feel his lips pressing against my skin. His hands were splayed across my shoulder blades, highlighting the rings he wore: his wedding band on his left, the ring I gave him to symbolize our D/s relationship on his right.

“I can’t stop looking at it,” I said.

“That’s the highest praise you could possibly give me,” Luke said.

“I love it,” Nathaniel said. “I never imagined it being so incredible.” He slipped an arm around my waist. “And thank you for asking us to pose. This is so much better than what I had imagined.”

“Too bad we have to leave it in the playroom. I’d love to show it off.”

“And shock all our family members?”

“Nah,” I joked. “Just a few of them.”

“You know,” Luke said, “if the bid I put in on the shady BDSM club goes through, I’ll need to redecorate. Would you be opposed to me using some of the other pictures from the session? I can ensure that your identity is protected.”

Nathaniel’s smile faded just a bit. “I’ll have to think about that.”

“Take your time. I’ll give you access to the file so you can see the other pictures.”

Even though we’d agreed the pictures would be for us alone, I kind of liked the idea of showing them off. After all, they were beautiful and Luke said there was no away to identify us from them. I looked forward to talking to Nathaniel about them.

Luke shook Nathaniel’s hand and nodded in my direction. “I need to be on my way. I’m so glad you like the picture. It was an honor to be invited into your playroom.”

“I’ll walk you out,” Nathaniel said.

While he did that, I stayed in the library, looking at the photograph. A few minutes later, Nathaniel came back into the room and slipped his arms around me from behind.

“I still can’t stop looking at it,” I said, leaning back into his embrace.

“It has a hypnotic power about it.”

“It’s so intense and yet tender at the same time.”

He swept my hair to the side, baring my neck. “Just like us?” he asked before dropping a kiss on the nape of my neck.

“Mmm, exactly.”

“What do you think of Luke putting some of our pictures up around the club?”

His lips were still moving against my skin and it prickled in response. “I like the idea actually,” I said.

I could feel his smile. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

“Because you know me and you know being watched turns me on.” I took a deep breath. “But I understand if you don’t want him to use them. If you think it’s too invasive.”

He turned me to face him. “There are two ways to look at it. For one, if someone’s looking at the picture, they’re in the club, right?”

“Right, but some might say you have more to lose.”

“Even if the picture was seen outside the club, all someone would know is it was of a couple with dark hair.”

I took his right hand. “As long as you ensure that this isn’t seen,” I said, twisting his ring. It was platinum and engraved with a unique pattern.

“True, there’s only one of these.”

“But other than that, I say we at least look at the other pictures. We can tell him which ones we wouldn’t mind him using.”

“Okay. I’ll let you know when he sends me the other shots.”

I nodded and he looked down at his watch. “I have another meeting starting in twenty minutes. When are you leaving to get the kids?”

“Not for another couple of hours.”

“Let’s go find a place in the playroom for this.”

“If you think you’ll have time.” My heart pounded just thinking about going into the playroom together, even though I knew we weren’t going to be doing anything.

He played with a strand of my hair. “I think I can spare a few minutes to hang a picture.” Then his voice dropped seductively. “Who knows? It might be that it only takes five minutes to hang the picture. Then I’ll have an entire fifteen minutes to fill.”

I took his hand and we made our way upstairs.

Chapter Ten

ABBY

On Wednesday night, two days later, I found myself kneeling in Daniel’s playroom for a demo with Nathaniel. My head was lowered and I closed my eyes as the almost highlike sensation I always got when we did something in front of people rushed through my veins. I couldn’t explain why, but lately the need for that high was growing and I was glad Nathaniel had these opportunities for us to be in front of people. I was on a platform in the playroom, and that only added to my excitement. I felt as if I were onstage.

I didn’t know what he had planned for tonight, but I had a feeling it was something different. He didn’t have me naked this time. And he’d had me wait in a side room while he talked with the other Dominants in private before we began.

Now I heard the sound of Nathaniel’s footsteps as they came near me. Then there was silence as he stood before me and I focused on the black leather of his shoes, which was all I could see with my eyes downcast. Excitement flooded my body.

“Hello, Abigail,” he said.

“Hello, Master.”

“Stand up for me.”

I slowly rose to my feet and met his gaze. His lips were curved up in a sultry smile that hinted at deliciously evil plans.

“I have one command for you today that you are not to disobey,” he said. “You are not to sit in the chair on the platform. Understood?”

I looked around. A chair sat to his side near the edge of the platform.

Simple enough. “Yes, Master.”

“Tell me, what is the one thing you are not to do?” he commanded.

“I am not allowed to sit in the chair on the platform, Master.”

“Excellent.” He looked down to the crowd. “Cole?”

My heart jumped to my chest. Cole? Nathaniel was going to invite him to participate? No wonder he’d asked me to wait outside while he spoke to the crowd. He probably wanted them to make note of the look of complete shock on my face.

I watched as the man in question rose from the crowd and climbed the stairs to join us on the platform. He wore a gray three-piece suit and it was beautiful. After being married to Nathaniel for as long as I had been, I knew a thing or two about men’s suits. The one Cole had on was clearly custom-made. It should have been ridiculous that he wore it to a BDSM meeting where he would be part of a demo session, but somehow on him it worked.

He appeared to know the impact seeing him dressed in such a manner had on me. The corner of his mouth lifted in a brief smile of acknowledgment before his expression once more took on the look I’d seen on him before in a playroom setting.

“Abigail,” Nathaniel said. “I’ve asked Cole to run the scene from here. Any command from him you can take as a command from me.”

The reason why I wasn’t naked suddenly made more sense. “Yes, Master.”

He nodded to Cole and walked down the steps.

“How are you doing today, Abby?” Cole asked.

“Slightly more anxious now, Sir.”

He chuckled. “Because of me?”

“Yes, Sir. Your reputation precedes you.”

“I’m sure you have nothing to worry about. Master West speaks very highly of you.”

“Thank you, Sir.” Nathaniel’s indirect praise warmed me and made me want to show everyone it wasn’t misplaced. Whatever Cole threw my way, I’d handle.

“Tell me your safe words.”

“Red, yellow, and green, Sir.”

“Very good. Go sit in the chair.”

I actually took a step toward it before I remembered that was the one thing Nathaniel told me not to do. I looked at him for some sort of direction, but his expression gave me no hint as to what I was supposed to do.

“Are you hesitating, sub?” Cole asked.

“No, Sir.” I shook my head.

“And yet you aren’t moving. It was a very simple command, one I would think a submissive of your experience would not find hard to carry out.”

“Yes, Sir. But you said—”

He snapped his fingers. “Silence. I know what I said.”

I was screwed either way. If I sat in the chair I would be breaking Nathaniel’s command, but if I didn’t I would be breaking Cole’s. There was simply no way to obey.

You are not allowed to sit in the chair on the platform.

Unless …

I squared my shoulders and walked over to the chair. It was a metal folding chair, and it didn’t weigh much. I picked it up and started carrying it past him to the stairs. A look of complete shock covered his face.

“What are you doing, Abby?” he asked.

“Master’s command was that I was not allowed to sit in the chair on the platform, Sir. I’m going to put it on the floor and then sit in it, so I can obey your command.”

There was subdued laughter from those watching and it occurred to me that my loophole was Not A Very Good Thing.

“Put. It. Down,” he said in a harsh voice.

I put it down.

“Now sit in it.”

I sat.

There was the thump, thump, thump again as he walked toward me. He crossed his arms and looked at me with blue eyes so cold I actually shivered.

“Do you think that’s funny, Abby?” he asked. “To make the Dom you’re in a scene with look like an idiot?”

“No, Sir.”

“So why would you do that?”

“I was trying to follow your directions, Sir, and to follow Master’s at the same time.”

“Did your idea of following my directions make you feel better?”

“No, Sir.”

“And you know what else?” he asked.

I was afraid to ask. I simply shook my head.

His lips curved up in an evil, wicked grin. “You’re sitting in the chair Master West specifically told you not to sit in.”

Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn.

He straightened up. “Fortunately, I wore the appropriate outfit for a discipline session.”

Discipline? Nathaniel was going to allow this? I tried to catch his eye in the crowd, but Cole was in the way and I couldn’t see around him.

My heart pounded in my throat, but I told myself if Nathaniel had a problem, he would put a stop to it. Cole hesitated, maybe waiting for me to safe-word, but when I didn’t, he took a blindfold from his jacket pocket.

“I don’t normally blindfold submissives for this, but in your case I think I will.” He stepped back. “Stand up and hold on to the back of the chair.”

I stood and quickly slid to stand behind the chair so I could hold the top of it with both hands. Within seconds, Cole had secured the blindfold around my head, covering everything in darkness.

With my sight gone, I strained my ears as hard as possible to hear something, anything that would give me a clue as to what was happening or what he had planned. There was a shuffling sound and two soft thumps behind me as if something was being dropped to the floor. Toy bags?

“Master West,” Cole said. “Hand me the cane we discussed earlier.”

Nathaniel didn’t say anything, but Cole’s simple request told me everything I needed to know. Whatever he was getting ready to do, he’d already cleared it with Nathaniel. I hated being punished with a cane, but this was for the demo and I’d been caned before. I knew I could handle it.

Though something told me it would be an entirely different thing being caned by Cole.

And there would be people watching and I wanted to make Nathaniel proud. Plus—and I knew it was crazy—it turned me on a bit to know I was being observed.

The crowd was so silent. I heard Nathaniel bring the cane to Cole and then the sound of Cole’s footsteps returning to where I stood.

“I’ll only do two. Hard and fast,” Cole said. “This is for your disobedience.”

I tensed my body for a second, then forced my muscles to relax. It hurt less that way. Cole whipped the cane through the air a few times. Damn evil Doms. I thought they did that just to get inside a submissive’s head.

“No need to count,” he said.

I curled my fingers, gripping the back of the chair as hard as I could.

I heard him take a step back. The cane whistled as he pulled back and then sang louder as it cut through the air on its downward path. I held my breath, waiting for impact.

It landed with a vicious-sounding strike and I grunted before realizing it hadn’t touched me. Instead it had hit something slightly to my right.

What the hell?

I didn’t have time to think anything else because it landed again with a hard smack to my left and I squealed.

I held perfectly still. That was two, but they hadn’t landed on me. I didn’t know if they counted or if he was simply warming up. At that moment in time, I didn’t know much of anything. I wasn’t sure I could speak my own name. Nothing made sense.

Cole lightly touched my shoulder. “Stand up and take the blindfold off, Abby. It’s over. You did a beautiful job.”

My hands trembled as I attempted to untie the blindfold, but my fingers fumbled and I couldn’t get them to do what I wanted.

“Nathaniel,” Cole said in a low voice.

Within seconds, familiar arms held me and ever so slowly the blindfold fell away. Nathaniel’s warm eyes were the first things I saw and I smiled in spite of the conflicting emotions swirling around inside me.

“Can you make it down the stairs?” he asked, and I nodded.

Once we’d made it down, he led me out the door to a side room. He sat down on a plush couch and pulled me into his lap. I rested my head against his chest and closed my eyes. When I started feeling more like myself, I looked up at him and asked, “What was that?”

“That, my lovely, was a mind-fuck.”

I opened my mouth to ask him more, but he placed a finger over my lips. “I want Cole to join us before we discuss.”

I nodded. “Is he coming in here?”

“Yes, he wanted to give us a few minutes alone.” He reached for a robe beside him. “Want to put this on?”

Even though I wasn’t naked, I was still exposed more than I wanted to be after a scene was over. Especially if we were going to be talking about it. “Yes, Master.”

I slipped the robe on, but returned to Nathaniel’s lap. My shelter.

The door cracked open and Cole stuck his head in. “Mind if I come in?”

“If you’re ready,” Nathaniel whispered.

“Yes, Sir,” I said. “Please come in.”

Cole made his way to where we were. He still had on his three-piece suit, but his easygoing smile was back. He sat down on the opposite end of the couch. Close but not touching.

“I called Cole last week because I wanted to do a mentally challenging scene for the demo,” Nathaniel said.

“Nathaniel told me the two of you haven’t done much in the way of mental play,” Cole added.

I shook my head.

“It’s intense, like a physical scene, but in a completely different way. I find it utterly fascinating. With all our science and research, there’s still so much of the human brain we don’t understand. All the tiny details we take in and what we do with them and how we think.”

“Is that why you wore a three-piece suit?” I asked.

“Partially,” he said. “I knew it would surprise you and I wanted you slightly off balance. Not knowing what to expect. But this is actually what I wear to discipline sessions.”

“Seriously?” Who’d ever heard of that?

“Seriously.” He smiled. “Assuming I have time to prepare us both and it’s not a matter of the submissive needing immediate correction.”

I shivered as I tried to imagine one of his planned discipline sessions. There was no doubt in my mind it would be very calm, very controlled, and not easily forgotten by the submissive in question.

“I assume you usually use a cane in these sessions?” I asked.

“Yes, almost always.” He shifted forward, placing his arms on his knees. “I’ve found mental play is often more intense because it can force a submissive to think through her motivation.”

“Like Master giving me a command and then you commanding me to go against it?”

“Yes, rather like a catch-22. What command do you break? Which one would he want you to break?”

“Or maybe he doesn’t care, because either way you’re going to mess up,” I added.

“Almost makes your head hurt,” he said. “Of course, then you have the submissives who look for a loophole.”

I’d been thinking about the commands and decided they had been carefully worded and stated a certain way on purpose. Cole made a living with words and if he’d helped plan the scene, only one thing made sense. “You knew I’d try to take the chair off the platform.”

“I did. In fact, while you were in the side room before the scene, we told the group what we were doing and told them if you started to walk off the platform with a chair, they were to laugh.”

“You guys planned that, too?” I asked, and behind me, Nathaniel chuckled.

“Yes, Abby. We planned everything. I wasn’t completely certain you’d try to take the chair off the platform. I knew I would have to goad you a bit.”

“Oh, right,” I said. “I forgot that part for a minute, when you told me I’d been a submissive long enough to know what to do?”

“Mind-fuck disguised as humiliation.”

“And you were never going to cane me?” I asked.

“Of course not. If you’d done something horribly insulting or disrespectful, I’d have let Nathaniel deal with it.”

I twisted in Nathaniel’s arms. “It seemed so real at the time.”

“Ah,” Nathaniel said. “Now, there’s where you’re wrong. It didn’t just seem real. It was.”

“Right now I feel like it was a play I wasn’t given the script for.”

“Don’t you see?” Cole asked. “If you knew what was going to happen, that would have been an act.”

“If you want,” Nathaniel said, “I can have you bend back over the chair. The cane’s still around here somewhere.”

“No!” I held up a hand. “That’s okay.”

He lifted an eyebrow. “If you’re certain?”

“Very, Master.”

Cole checked his watch. “I have a call to make. Nathaniel, I’ll call you tomorrow. Abby, thank you. You did really well for someone not experienced with mental play.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

Nathaniel waited until the door closed behind Cole before talking again. “So, tell me, how was doing a mental scene in front of a group compared to a physical one?”

“You mean, did the scene we just did turn me on like the ones we normally do?”

“Yes.”

“Mmm.” I leaned farther into his arms. “I was turned on kneeling and waiting. And then again, just a little, when I was bent over the chair. Even though it was Cole and not you. But during the actual thinking part? No, that didn’t turn me on at all.”

“Interesting. I wondered if it was enough to be in front of the group or if there had to be a physical or sexual component involved.”

His words gave me momentary pause. He’d thought that much and that deep about what I needed and got out of a scene. But as soon as that thought popped into my head, it was replaced with of course he does.

I cleared my throat. “What do you think it means that the mental play in front of others didn’t turn me on like the physical?”

“First of all, I’m not surprised that’s how you feel.”

“You’re not?”

“No, remember the day in Wilmington when I had you be, what were your words, a coffee table?”

I’d been horribly bored, I remembered that. In my mind, I’d sat on the couch for hours balancing two glasses on my legs. Then when Nathaniel mentioned it was time for something else, I’d snorted. He hadn’t been amused.

“I don’t think I’ll ever forget that day.”

“There was mental play in that scene, too, and you weren’t excited or turned on by it.” He smiled, faintly, but still a smile. “In fact, I believe your exact words were ‘What’s hot about a coffee table?’”

“Nothing,” I answered. “There’s nothing hot about a coffee table. But you didn’t answer the part about what it means.”

He framed my face with his hands, making sure I kept my eyes on his. “It means mental play in front of people doesn’t turn you on. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just how you’re wired.”