Текст книги "Seduction and Snacks"

Автор книги: Tara Sivec

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Текущая страница: 19 (всего у книги 19 страниц)

Oh, sweet Jesus, was that porn music playing in the background? Was I starring in "Cocks and the Chocolate Factory" or "Chocolate Melts in Your Vagina, Not in your Hand"?

I swooped in and kissed her, sucking her lip into my mouth and greedily licking the chocolate off with my tongue. Once I got it all, she pushed her tongue past mine and swirled it through my mouth. She tasted like Claire and chocolate, and I had a moment where I wanted to cry like a baby because my dream for the past five years was right in front of me. I grabbed the back of both of her knees and pulled her legs up around my waist, my hands sliding down her thighs and over her ass. I sucked her tongue into my mouth and pulled her closer to the edge of the counter, my hardness resting against her wet heat.

Her arms wrapped around my shoulders and I pushed my hips forward, sinking into her slowly until my pelvis was flush against hers. My mouth never left hers as I stayed deep inside of her and swiveled my hips, grinding myself against her. She whimpered into my mouth and pushed herself harder against me, creating friction right where she needed it. Her legs tightened around my hips and I squeezed my hands onto her ass, rocking her harder and faster against me. It was killing me not move, not to slide in and out of her heat that squeezed around me, but I knew she liked what I was doing and that's all that mattered.

Our kiss never ended as I felt her start to tighten around me. Her hips moved faster and she clawed at my shoulders as I moved against her and rotated my hips, pushing her into oblivion.

I deepened the kiss and swallowed her cries as she came. Her hands latched onto my hair and I couldn't have cared less that I'd have to wash chocolate out of it tonight. I removed a hand from her ass and rested it on the counter next to her for more leverage as I pulled almost all the way out of her and slammed back inside, stars bursting behind my closed eyes at the sensations that shot up through me.

Claire's moans and muttered curses spurned me on to move faster and harder. Thank God for that because there was no way I could be gentle now. I needed to fuck her on the kitchen counter, plain and simple.

My free hand slid under one of her knees so her leg draped down over the crook of my elbow. I lifted her leg higher and pushed deeper inside of her until we both moaned.

I thrust into her hard and fast, my hips moving at lightening speed. The smell of chocolate filled the air, her hot wetness coated me as I pumped in and out of her and the sounds of our bodies slapping together shot my orgasm through me like a freight train. I only lasted a few more seconds, shouting her name as I came, my thrusts never slowing down. My orgasm ripped through me and I swore it was the best one I ever had. I pushed into her one last time and held still until the last few tingles of my release disappeared.

I dropped my forehead to hers and we stayed where we were, trying to catch our breaths. My arm slid out from under her leg and it fell limply down my side. I felt myself pulse inside of her as I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her body close.

After a few minutes of staying just like that, I finally recovered the ability to speak.

"I'm really going to like this whole chocolate business you own if this is how we get to spend our evenings."

Claire laughed and looked around. "It looks like a chocolate bomb went off in here."

There was chocolate in both of our hair, I could feel dried chocolate on my face and arms and our shirts were completely covered. I looked down and saw chocolate hand prints on Claire's thighs and hips and the half of her pants that hung off of her were sopping wet from the chocolate that still dripped off the edge of the counter. We were so busy with our post coital glow and laughing at the mess we made, that we didn't hear the connecting door to Liz's store open.

"SURPRISE!” Several voices yelled as we looked towards the door in shock.

"Oh my fucking God, are you kidding me?" Liz yelled as she cringed and tried not to drop the cake she held in her hands.

"Oh Jesus, my eyes. MY EYES!" Jim screamed as he covered his face with both hands and turned around.

"Are those chocolate boobs?" Drew asked, walking towards us and grabbing a piece off of the counter and popping it into his mouth.

My dick, completely shrunken now, was still in Claire. This was like the damn finger in the vagina day all over again. What the fuck was wrong with my life?

"Sorry I'm late! Claire, were you surprised?" Jenny asked as she pushed her way past Liz and Jim, stopping suddenly when she saw the position we were in. On the counter. With both of our asses showing, covered in chocolate.

"Heh, heh, Claire has boobs and penises stuck to her ass!" Drew laughed.

So that explains the weird bumps I felt on her ass. I was a little worried there for a minute that she might have boils or some creepy skin condition I didn't know about.

"I hope to God you bleach this counter," Liz scolded.

"And my eyes," Jim mutter with his back still to us.

Claire hadn't moved or said a word and I almost wanted to stick my finger under her nose to see if she was still breathing.

"We wanted to surprise you with a "Good luck with the store opening" cake but it looks like you guys started celebrating without us," Jenny laughed. "Drew, why haven't we played with chocolate yet? We need to remedial that."

"Remedy, babe. Remedy," Drew corrected as he grabbed another chocolate boob from the counter a few inches from Claire's ass and ate it.

Why the fuck was everyone still standing in this kitchen?

"I brought you a sample of my new edible lotion. It's funnel cake flavor. I figured you and Carter-boy could spice it up by playing dirty carnie and innocent fair-goer," Liz said as she tossed the bottle of lotion on the counter. "Looks like I should have brought you a drop cloth instead."

"I'm guessing you and Jim already tested out the funnel cake lotion, right? Did you pretend to be the slutty clown car with millions of midgets flocking out of your vagina?" Claire said sarcastically.

"This is the Butler Broadcasting System, coming to you live from the kitchen of the snacks side of "Seduction and Snacks," the new business opening tomorrow, right in the heart of Butler."

A woman in a business suit suddenly walked through the door with a microphone in her hand and a man with a camera followed behind her. The giant spotlight on top of the camera blinded us and everyone started yelling, but not before we heard the words, "Coming to you live..."

This is a dream. It has to be a fucking dream.

The perfectly coiffed woman with the bouffant hair stopped in her tracks when she saw my chocolate covered ass. Her shout of, "Holy fuck," was now being broadcast into several thousand Butler living rooms.

Thankfully, the camera man took in the scene in front of him and reacted faster than she did. He whipped around, smacking his camera into Jim's head before stumbling backwards, slipping through the spilled, melted chocolate and crashing down on the floor on his back.

***

"Son of a bitch that hurt," Jim could be heard shouting off-camera as the view on the television suddenly flew to a shot of the ceiling and a loud "ooomf" came through the speakers, signifying the point in the broadcast when the camera man landed on his ass.

Liz fell off the couch, landing on her side in a fit of giggles. Jim managed to stay on the couch but bent over at the waist, holding on to his stomach as he laughed right along with her.

All Claire and I could do was stare in shock at the replay of tonight's broadcast that Liz managed to catch on her DVR. After the kitchen debacle and plenty of apologies from the staff of BBS for deciding a surprise interview would be fun, we came back to Liz and Jim's house to clean up and see if by some miracle there was a cable outage in the area.

No such luck.

"Ooooh, here comes my part!" Drew said excitedly as he jumped up from his spot on the floor and reached over to turn up the volume on the television.

Drew's face suddenly came into the shot as he bent over the downed camera man, the view of the shop's kitchen ceiling behind his head.

"Stop by Seduction and Snacks for the grand opening tomorrow and try some of Claire's boobs. They're delicious!" he said with a smile as he bit off one of the chocolate boobs he held in his hand.

The camera turned to the side where the stunned TV anchor stood with Liz and Jenny, waving frantically into the camera behind her and Jim off to the side rubbing his head and muttering, "Fuck that hurt."

"B-b-back to you in the studio, Sam," she stuttered as she stared wide eyed into the camera without blinking.

The shot went back to the studio where they immediately began talking about the weather.

"Well, the good news is the camera man managed to avoid showing Butler that you guys were taste testing the chocolate with your penis and vagina," Liz said from her spot on the floor.

"If that's the good news, what the hell is the bad news?" Claire asked.

"Well, Drew is now the face of Seduction and Snacks," Liz laughed.

We all glanced over at Drew as he picked lint off of the front of his shirt that had been the main focus of the camera shot.

I guess there were worse things Seduction and Snacks could be famous for than a tee shirt that read, "Have you seen Mike Hunt?"

21. Itchy Feet and Fading Smiles

Surprisingly the airing of our dirty laundry, or should I say dirty kitchen and mouths, didn't deter anyone from stopping by the grand opening of Seduction and Snacks today. But if one more person asks me if Mr. Hunt is available, I'm going to punch them in the kidney.

Carter, Gavin, Liz, Jim and I all arrived at the shop a few hours before we opened to finish last-minute details and set everything up. Thankfully, today's opening didn't require the chocolate boobs and penises. Drew ate all the ones that weren't stuck to my ass last night. Come to think of it, he may have eaten those as well. I remembered him saying something about a "Five Second Ass Rule", not to be confused with the original "Five Second Rule" for when you drop food on the floor. I tuned him out when he told Carter, "Her ass better be so clean you can see your face in it!"

Much to our shock, there was a line of people on the sidewalk waiting for us to open.

Was this really my life right now? How did I get to this point? A few months ago I was a single mother with no social life or romantic prospects anywhere in my future, and I was stuck at a dead-end job at a bar. Now, I was opening a business, doing what I loved every single day, and found the love of my life who was the best father in the world to our son.

Oh, and my vagina was getting regular work-outs on an almost-daily basis. Couldn't forget that tidbit since it was probably the most important. I thought if my vagina had to wait any longer for some action, she would have just got up and walked out of my underwear to find another pair of legs to sit between. I would have turned into a fake woman. If you spread my legs, I'd look like Barbie with her plastic who-ha that had no hole. At least Ken wasn't missing out on sticking it to her. Poor guy just had a pair of tighty-whities with no bulge. That's probably why when I was younger I always made them dry hump. There wasn't much else they could do, really.

The store had been open for two hours and it had yet to be empty. Liz and I kept the adjoining door to our places open so people could file back and forth. I was a little leery about how the good people of Butler would take to having a sex toy shop downtown, but I was pleasantly surprised to find out how many dirty people lived here. Liz was going to resurrect the sex lives of everyone in this town one dildo at a time.

She kept the front of her store to the bare minimum, mostly lingerie, lubes, massage lotions, candles and other things that were PG rated and wouldn't freak anyone out that walked by. She kept catalogs on the counter with pictures of all the other items that were located in the back of the store. You could simply point to what you wanted and she'd go in the back and get it for you, wrapping it in a small black bag so no one would know what you got.

My dad took in Liz's side of the store with as much enthusiasm as I expected him to. He walked through the adjoining doors and stopped dead in his tracks in the middle of a rack of garters and corsets. He took a look around and proclaimed joyously, "Humph," then walked back over to my side.

Gavin was the life of the store, naturally. He walked around handing out samples with the motto, "One for you, six for me." He was so hopped up on sugar by twelve o'clock, I was going to have to scrape him off of the ceiling by the end of the day.

I stood at the cash register ringing up a customer's cookie order when I noticed Carter talking to a guy by the front window. He was holding a small boy in his arms and Carter was laughing at something the guy said. He had his back to me so I had no idea who it was but something about him was familiar. I thanked the customer, gave her a flyer and headed over to Carter.

Carter noticed me walking towards him and smiled.

"There's my girl," he said as he lifted his arm so I could ease into his side.

The guy turned at Carter's words and when we saw each other, I wasn't sure who had the more shocked expression on their face.

"Oh my God, Max?"

"Claire?" he answered, equally surprised.

Carter looked between the two of us, obviously puzzled.

"Wait, you two know each other?" he asked.

"Um, yes. But more importantly, how do you know him?" I asked.

This was so awkward right now I kind of wished a meteor would crash out in the street. I needed total chaos right now to distract everyone from this insane situation.

"I met Max at the library when I took Gavin that one afternoon so you could work, remember? He gave me some tips on the joys of fatherhood," Carter laughed.

Max hadn't taken his eyes off me during the exchange and I laughed nervously. I didn't see this ending well. At all.

"So, anyway, how do you two know each other?" Carter asked again.

I looked at him and tried to convey with my eyes that this was about to get really weird really fast. Carter didn't get the hint and just stared at me expectantly.

"Hello, earth to Claire," Carter said with a laugh. "What's wrong with your face?"

I sighed, figuring I might as well get this over with.

"Carter, this is Max," I said, with a raise of my eyebrows, hoping he would get it.

He just laughed and shook his head.

"Yeah. We've already established that. Are you okay?" he asked as he leaned towards me.

"Carter. This. Is. MAX," I said again, punctuating Max's name with a big, fake smile.

Carter looked at me like I was insane for all of three point two more seconds when the light bulb finally went off in his brain. Really, how many fucking Max's did he know? It wasn't like the guy's name was John or Mike and he might have just assumed it was someone else. His name was Max for fuck's sake. As soon as he met him, shouldn't a red flag have gone off in his head?

It was certainly going off now. Carter's head jerked back and forth between Max and me so quickly it almost looked like he was shaking his head no. Maybe he was. His brain might just be on overload right now and it was screaming, "Nooooooooooo! Does not compute!"

"You're Max?" he asked.

Max just nodded, finally looking away from me and at his son squirming in his arms.

"You're Max," he stated.

I laughed uncomfortably. "I think we've covered that already, hon," I said through a smile and clenched teeth.

Let the insanity commence.

Carter started chuckling.

I closed my eyes, not wanting to witness what surely was going to follow. Why had I ever though it was necessary to share every detail of this story? Why?

"Two pumps!" Carter said excitedly, followed by more laughing.

Max just stood there with a befuddled look on his face.

Then Carter raised his arm and pointed at him, still laughing, I might add.

"You're the chump!"

"Oh Jesus," I muttered.

"What?" Max asked.

Carter was smiling like nut job.

"Nothing," I told Max. "Don't mind him."

"Where's her underwear?" Carter asked, suddenly serious.

Max's son started kicking his little legs around in an attempt to get down. He hefted him up higher in his arms and gave me a smile.

"Well, I better get going. It was good seeing you again, Claire. Good luck with the store," he said as he moved to the door and used his back to push it open.

"Could you say that TWO more times," Carter laughed.

I smacked his arm as Max lifted his hand in a wave.

Carter waved good-bye to him, shaking his hand in the air frantically like he was a little kid watching a parade.

"Come back again!" Carter shouted as Max got out the door and onto the sidewalk. "Claire likes it when people stay more than TWO seconds."

Max finally disappeared out of sight and Carter turned to face me, a lingering smile still on his face.

"What?" he asked when he saw the look on mine.

"When you're ready to start acting like an adult, let me know," I told him.

"Adults are the little ones, right?" he shouted to me as I walked away.

I shook my head as I made my way to the counter. Just then my dad walked back over from Liz's side with a black bag clutched firmly in his hand.

Oh sweet Jesus, my brain couldn't handle anymore crazy today. .

We stopped in front of each other and he tried to hide the bag behind his back.

"Dad, did you just buy something from Liz's store?" I asked bewilderingly.

What in the fuck of fuckery would he need from over there? WHAT? Oh God, where's Jim? I need his eye bleach.

"Well, I've got a date tonight," he stated matter-of-factly.

"So take her some chocolates! Or a box of cookies. I'm pretty sure what's in that store isn't first-date material," I said in a panic.

There could be flavored lube in that bag right now. Or a cock ring. Or a strap on. Oh sweet mother fucking Jesus, what if’s been so long since my dad has been with a woman that he bat for the other team now? Nothing against gay men. I love gay men. I had a gay friend in college that I wish I still kept in contact with. He liked to show me the awesome gaydar he possessed by pointing out every gay man within a two mile radius. What would he say if he was here right now? "Oh, Claire, that man is gayer than Richard Simmons sweatin' to the oldies on a rainbow."

When I took Gavin to the library last week there was a book called "Daddy's Roommate" in the children's section. Should I go back and get that book? Maybe I should buy a copy for future reference. There was also a book called "I Wish Daddy Didn't Drink So Much" and "It Hurts When I Poop."

What the fuck has happened to children's literature since I was little?

I knew no matter what, I would love my father. That was a fact. To quote my favorite movie, "I love my dead, gay son!"

Well, I love my dead, gay father. Er, I mean my gay father.

I need a drink.

"Never fear, Mr. Hunt is here!" Drew proclaimed as he walked through the door holding Jenny's hand. My dad raised his eyebrow at Drew's shirt that read, "Jam out with your clam out."

"Hey there, Mr. M, how's it hanging?" he asked as he walked over and shook my dad's hand.

It's hanging a little to the left of Perez Hilton Avenue.

"Oooooh, look at you already sampling the merchandise," Drew said, patting my dad on the back in a congratulatory way as he smiled at the black bag still tightly clutched in his hands.

"Claire, the store looks great!" Jenny told me as she gave me a quick hug.

"Thanks, my dad has a roommate," I blurted.

All three of them looked at me in silence.

"Mommy, can I have another cookie?" Gavin asked, running up to me and slamming into my leg.

"No, no more cookies. You already had a chocolate chip cookie. Obviously it wasn't enough for you and now you want to try a different one. I bet you want to try a peanut butter cookie which is the exact opposite. Peanut butter cookies are on a different team than chocolate chip cookies. I guess chocolate chip cookies just don't satisfy you anymore do they? One day you just woke up and decided you wanted to eat a completely different cookie from the one you've always liked since you were born. You can't just decide at your age that you want a different cookie. It doesn't work that way. You pick a cookie and you stick with it!"

Gavin looked up at me in confusion. His poor four-year-old brain was probably going to explode.

"Fine, can I have a chocolate sucker then?" he asked innocently.

I was well aware that no one was moving and they were all standing there looking at me like I was having a nervous breakdown. Maybe I was. I had a gay father; I was allowed to freak out.

"Hey, Mom, guess what? Last night Papa was kissing somebody," Gavin said with a smile.

Oh God, here it comes. Who was it? Bill from the hardware store? Tom from the corner coffee shop? Who would be my new step-father-in-law-uncle-friend?

"Gavin, that was supposed to be a secret," my dad laughed uncomfortably.

Ha, ha, what a funny story. My dad and Gavin had a secret. Isn't that cute? Isn't that fucking cute? I like how my son isn't at all fazed to see two men kissing. It shows great promise for the future of this country. However, I don't like that he isn't at all fazed that he saw his grandpa sucking face with a dude!

"Oh, ha, ha, a secret!" I laughed hysterically. "I guess the cat is out of the bag huh, Dad? Or should I say, out of the closet? Whew, is it hot in here?" I rambled, fanning my face with my hand.

Carter walked over then, leaving his station at the front door greeting customers. He must have seen my crazy eyes from across the store and knew I was seriously freaking out. Worse than that one time I ate a pot cookie in high school and then watched The Wizard of Oz while listening to Pink Floyd's "The Wall", when everyone knows you’re supposed to listen to “The Dark Side of the Moon” and started crying because Toto was looking at me funny and when he barked it came out as, "Hey you, standing in the aisles with itchy feet and fading smiles, can you hear me?" and I could totally hear him and my feet started to itch. I cried for three hours telling everyone the cookie was evil and would kill me in my sleep.

Don't do drugs.

"Claire, you okay?" Carter asked, picking Gavin up into his arms to stand next to me.

"I'm super! I've never been better! This is the best day of my whole life!" I said with a big smile. "We should all go out back and smoke some pot."

What the hell was I spewing out of my mouth?

"George, you forgot your receipt," Liz said as she walked over from her side with a slip of paper in her hand.

"Sue is going to love that nightgown, I'm telling you. The silk is so soft and that peach color is going to look awesome with her skin tone," Liz said, coming up next to my dad and handing him the receipt.

Wait, what? Sue? There was a guy named Sue in Butler? Shouldn't I know this?

My dad actually blushed and quickly glanced at me.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks, Liz. I'm sure she'll love it."

She! Sue's a she. She's a Sue-she.

"She's a she!" I proclaimed.

Carter's arm that wasn't supporting Gavin wrapped around my waist to hold me up. I was sure he figured any minute now I was going to crack up permanently, probably even fall face-first onto the floor without putting my hands out to stop me like some of those idiots on Tosh.0.

I could hear Tosh's voice in my head, "Okay, let's watch that one again in slow motion. Now watch as she just falls forward, never putting her arms out and then BAM! Face plant! Wow, that's gotta hurt!"

"I probably should have told you this sooner, Claire. I'm kinda seeing Sue Zammond. You know, that woman who runs the travel agency over on Short Avenue? So, yeah. I'm seeing her," George said, shuffling his feet.

"Good for you, George," Carter told him as I gave him a quick hug in congratulations. My dad hadn’t dated anyone seriously since my mom left. By the look on his face, I’d say things with Sue just might be heading in that direction and I was happy for him.

Carter, George and Drew walked over to the front counter to help out a few customers while the girls and I stood back and watched.

"I am so in love with Drew," Jenny said with a sigh. "I just can't look at him without thinking about his orgasm face."

"Jesus, Jenny! Over share," Liz complained.

"So you guys are really serious, huh?" I asked her, trying not to dry heave thinking about the words Drew and orgasm face all in one sentence.

She nodded her head and smiled.

"We are! He's taking me to Chicago next week to meet his parents. I'm so excited! I've never been to the Windy Cindy," she said happily.

Liz opened her mouth and I quickly covered it with my hand.

"Don't. Just…don't," I told her.

Drew came up behind Jenny then and wrapped his arms around her waist, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

"Excuse me, I was wondering if you had someplace I could put my boner?"

Jenny giggled and Liz gagged.

"So Liz, have you and Jim set a wedding date yet?" Drew asked, keeping his arms firmly around Jenny.

"As a matter of fact we did. So you guys all better keep your calendars wide open for the next couple of months. There will be meetings and discussions and appointments and fittings," she said as she ticked the items off on her fingers. "Oh and Claire, we want Gavin to be our ring bearer."

I looked at her like she was insane.

"Have you met my son?" I asked her.

She just laughed at me.

Poor, confused Liz. She'll find out soon enough. Like when she's standing at the back of the church on the most important day of her life and my son runs down the aisle at full speed in front of her, chucking the pillow at her grandma's head and calling Jim's uncle a dirty nut sack.

"Liz, how do you feel about facial hair for the wedding?" Drew asked seriously as he ran his fingers down his chin.

"Don't even think about having a soul patch at my wedding, Drew. No douche-tags allowed," she replied.

Liz turned her attention in my direction. "Speaking of the future, what's next for Claire and Carter?"

What's next? What isn't next is the better question. So much was changing. Jesus, so much already HAD changed.

I watched Carter walk towards me with Gavin in his arms, tickling him and making him giggle. I took a few deep breaths and calmed down. Everyone I loved was standing here in this room, in my store, happy and healthy. Carter walked to my side and draped his arm around my waist, reminding me that no matter what came my way, I wouldn't have to face it alone. I had my friends, I had my family and I had Carter.

Next week I was putting my house on the market. It freaked me out just a little. I became a mother in that house. I learned how to love another human being more than my own life in that house. But it was time to say good-bye and move on to bigger and better things. In a few months we would begin our future together and handle whatever life threw our way. I knew we would have hard times. I knew we would have a lot of adjusting to do as we learned how to live with each other, but I also knew we would do whatever it took to make it work.

I met a boy at a frat party, beat him at beer pong and let him take my virginity and give me a baby in return. Not a fair trade, but one I wouldn't change for the world.

I turned towards Carter and wrapped both of my arms around his waist and stood on my tip toes to kiss Gavin's cheek while our friends chatted behind us with my dad.

"Hey Gavin, guess what? Daddy and I have something to tell you."

Carter looked down at me with a surprised look. We agreed to wait until the time was closer to tell Gavin, but I couldn't hold it in anymore. I didn't care if he drove me insane asking if it was time yet. I was happy and excited and I wanted my little man to feel it too.

I waited for Carter to give me the go-ahead to continue. I mouthed the words "I love you" to him and tried not to cry. This man was everything I had ever dreamed of and more. And he was all mine.

He nodded his head in agreement and his lips formed an "I love you" back to me.

I reached up and smoothed Gavin's hair off of his forehead, letting my fingers trail down his cheeks and over his sweet dimples.

"We're going to sell our house and then you and I are going to live in Daddy's house with him," I explained.

Gavin stared at me for a few minutes and then shifted his focus to Carter.

"Really?" he asked.

Carter nodded his head, "Really, buddy."

Gavin looked back at me and smiled, opening his mouth to hopefully tell us how happy he was.

"HOLY SHIT!"