Текст книги "The System"

Автор книги: Shelbi Wescott

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Текущая страница: 17 (всего у книги 22 страниц)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Cass and Lucy watched and listened as people traveled down the hallway toward the Center for the gathering; everyone’s voices were full of expectation and energy—vibrantly calling and whispering about why they were being summoned. The once-empty hallway was brimming with traveling occupants of the pods. The girls had to lie in wait until the halls cleared, the last of the footsteps dying away, before pulling up on the secret panel and slipping, unnoticed, back into the bowels of the System.

“Come, come,” Cass said and she gripped Lucy’s hand, slipping her fingers around Lucy’s and pulling her toward the voices.

As they rounded one hall and disappeared down another, they could hear the roar of the crowd settle into a hush and Gordy’s familiar voice address the crowd, setting the stage for his father, with great effusiveness.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” Cass clicked her tongue. “We’ll have to sneak back through the main doors. There would be no way to say we missed the memo from the theater.” Then still holding Lucy’s hand, Cass walked them to the Center’s entrance and with a deep breath, ducked into the crowd.

It was the first time Lucy had seen everyone in the System gather in one place. She realized, with astonishment, that it seemed like there were fewer people living with her underground than had gone to her high school. All the survivors from North America were housed here and altogether they didn’t even equal a large high school population?

Her eyes scanned the crowd for their pod, but Cass knew right where to go and led Lucy to stand in place, shoving her next to her parents, brothers, and sister, who shot her looks of reproach. Lucy buried her head and tried to absorb her mother’s daggers.

“Where were you?” Maxine hissed. “Tardiness…”

“Right,” Lucy whispered back, “It’s not allowed. I get it. We hurried. I’m sorry.”

Maxine placed a protective arm around Lucy’s shoulders and tucked her into the softness of her body. She held her like that, scrunched together, as Huck rose to address the crowd.

As he walked to the small podium, up on a platform that hadn’t been there when Lucy walked through an hour ago, the group began a scattered applause; then the cheers grew, and more people clapped for Huck. Scott brought his hands together, but Lucy folded her hands in front of her, pushing them together in silent protest.

“Well, thank you. Thank you, but please, that’s unnecessary,” Huck said, speaking into the podium’s microphone, which was wired to a small amplifier and broadcast his voice crisply to the far reaches of the room. “I stand before you today to say how proud I am of our successes this past month. That’s right…we’ve been here a month already. Now that we are learning how to operate within the System, I can say with ease and assurance that the great time we have hoped for has begun.”

Lucy looked to her father and mother as they watched Huck. She wondered how many people defied him in their hearts and their minds, unwilling to show on the outside how his fine sounding arguments affected them. How, she wondered, could one man make so many people afraid?

“But I am gathering us together today to remind ourselves why we are here and why others are not. Perhaps enough time has passed that we may begin to let our thoughts wander to fairness.” Huck leaned over and took a cup of water from Gordy and sipped it. “I’m here to say I understand. Your concerns are valid. And I am not an unconscientious leader. As a matter of fact, when I outlined what kind of leadership our new world deserved, I set up the tenets of honesty, morality, and of working within our own conscience as a foundation. Together we are working toward a world void of the pain and dishonesty and deceit that has plagued our earth.”

Lucy felt her heart-rate increase. Her chest heaved and her eyes narrowed. Like a bull storming before the color red, Lucy watched Huck with such unease, that she felt like she was going to be sick. Her stomach clenched and she brought her hand up to her mouth.

“We are the chosen few,” Huck continued and Lucy shuddered. “We will bring the earth back to its former glory by letting it heal. And we will let ourselves heal too.”

“Mom—” Lucy whispered, leaning into her mother.

Maxine hushed her without looking down.

Lucy struggled against Maxine’s grip. “I don’t feel good.”

“You’re fine. Hush,” Maxine insisted and tried to snuggle Lucy in closer.

Huck’s voice rose throughout the crowd, his jovial smile evident even from across the room.

“But we must discuss fairness. That word that means so much to us here, in this place. I’ve heard whispers and rumors of how I have acted unfairly as your leader. I’ve allowed someone who was left behind to enter the System…even though in the days after our arrival, I said I would not.”

Murmurs spread across the room. People whispered, pointed. Eyes fell to Lucy and she absorbed their attention with embarrassment. She wished to disappear and she felt her trademark blush creep and spread.

“Oh God—” Maxine said.

Lucy didn’t say anything and she looked to the ground and concentrated on a small section of the floor. There was a black scuff mark and Lucy studied it, refusing to acknowledge that she had become the center of attention.

“Lucy King,” Huck said her name. The room went silent and people shifted; Huck’s head panned the crowd, but Lucy didn’t move. Her mother squeezed her hand.

“They said Lucy’s name, Mama,” Harper said and tugged on her mother’s shirt.

“Hush,” Maxine replied.

Huck continued. “I will not lie to you. Lucy arrived here at our compound and, due to a strange array of circumstances, she discovered the System. We did not bring her here or choose her over other survivors. No, Lucy came on her own accord and showed initiative and loyalty. We had a choice to keep her out there in the world, tank her…”

The crowd gasped and muttered collectively. Lucy knew what they were thinking: the tanks are real. Her father reached over and tousled her hair, Lucy pulled away. She glanced up for just a moment and caught a glimpse of Cass, only a few feet away. Cass winked at her and Lucy ducked her head again.

“Or,” Huck raised his voice, “we could show her kindness. And reunite her with her family…and her father…Elektos Elder board member Scott King, was thankful. As we all should be,” his voice rose even louder. “Lucy is a member of our collective family. Harboring resentment that she lives while others did not is a cruel and bitter way to live.” He paused. Cleared his throat. “I should know,” he added and sniffed. “Ultimately, as your leader, you must trust that I am making decisions that are good for the whole. Even if my decisions appear to contradict your expectations. It should comfort you that I do not live in a black and white world, governed by the law instead of compassion for the individual.”

People muttered their approval. One by one the heads and attention turned forward, although a few people still stole glances in Lucy’s direction.

“Great change sometimes requires great sacrifice. Even innocent sacrifice; and don’t think that it isn’t hard for me to make those final decisions. Just know that every step forward we make toward our goal, we are fully realizing a future in paradise! You, my loyal and amazing friends, are at the beginning of history. We will rise from the ashes, we will build our Eden. We saw injustice and did not stay silent. Things in life were cruel and we met their cruelty with swift retaliation. With God on our side, we have taken back the world from the clutches of evil, corruption, and depravity,” Huck’s voice rose and shook. Gordy, standing next to his dad, put his hand on his father’s arm and Huck chuckled into the microphone. “Sometimes my emphatic speaking embarrasses my family,” he said, and a murmur of laughter rippled through the crowd.

Someone closer to the front called out words of encouragement and there was scattered applause.

“No, no,” Huck replied to the crowd. “No praise to me. Applaud yourselves. You are the cornerstone of this new world. The builders. The creators. Those who followed, even though you could not see the fruits of our labor in action. Celebrate faith!” Then the room erupted into cheers and clapping; Huck bowing gracefully down from the podium and walking through the crowd, the people parting like the Red Sea.

It was then Lucy realized he was walking straight toward her. People shifted and moved, turned and made an opening, and Huck landed right in front of her, his hands extended, his face lifted in a bright smile.

Lucy turned to her mother.

“Go on,” Maxine urged and gave Lucy a subtle push.

Lucy put her own hands out and Huck grabbed them in an exuberant handshake. Everyone watched them, and there was scattered applause, as if they were celebrating his humanity in saving her life.

“We meet again,” he said in hushed tones. Gordy, like a bodyguard, stood at his father’s elbow and appraised her with wariness. He had saved her life after Blair let her drown in the tank, but maybe he regretted allowing her into the System.

Lucy remained mute.

“I hope your time with your family has been wonderful and relaxing,” he continued and then before Lucy had time to reply, he leaned in and under the pretense of a hug, whispered in her ear, “Adjust your attitude and your company. You are now the face of acceptance and grace…I trust you will demonstrate your gratitude when given the chance.” As quickly as he arrived, he was gone, assisted away with the help of Gordy and a small collection of other guards. He exited the Center and the people began to disperse by pod.

“What did he say?” Galen asked. “What did he say to you?”

“You’re famous!” said Malcolm.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lucy saw Cass nod toward the hall and she looked back to her family.

“Do you all just eat that up?” Lucy said, turning to her parents. Her mother bristled. She cracked her neck. “You buy that magnanimous, it’s all for you, bull-shit? You think he’s being honest with you?”

“You’re incorrigible,” her father said to her and he crossed his arms. “I don’t even know what to say to you anymore. If you don’t want to see the truth, then we can’t help you.”

“You want to know who gave really awesome speeches and made the people feel special? Hitler. I wonder if you put their speeches side by side if either of you would even be able to tell the difference.” Then Lucy spun and followed Cass’s braids back out into the fray, leaving her parents to contemplate the magnitude of their allegiances.

“The plan is fool-proof, I promise,” Lucy said and she looked to Cass for confirmation. Over the last hour, they had deliberated and plotted, schemed and assessed. Sitting in the middle of the Center, after the crowd had cleared and the recreation activities resumed, they huddled together, absent-mindedly playing a game, and talking in hushed tones. Occasionally someone would come up to Lucy and ask a question about the world outside. Huck’s announcement had launched her from rumor to quasi-celebrity.

“Did you hear anything about what happened to Chicago?” one lady asked.

“Was the virus quick? Did people suffer?” asked another.

One boy just wanted to know about the animals at the zoo.

Eventually the attention died down and Cass and Lucy would go back to planning. To any outside observer they were just two girls enjoying the rest of their afternoon, but the air around them was tinged with hushed excitement.

“So, we’ll need a mechanic.”

“Who can be bought.”

“Kip,” Cass replied. “A sweetheart. Won’t be able to resist.”

“How do we talk to him?”

Cass laughed and then pointed her arm straight out in front of her, the trajectory of her finger landing on a guy no more than twenty feet away. He was a bulky redhead playing a game of darts. With a wink, Cass hopped up and waltzed over, touching Kip on the arm and pointing to Lucy, where Lucy responded with a half-wave and a smile. She had no idea how Cass was luring him into their plans, but she trusted her new friend’s instincts.

Kip the mechanic willingly set down his darts and shuffled over, dragging his feet along the wood.

“The famous Lucy, huh?” he asked as a question as he extended his hand. “Cass says you have a question to ask me.”

Lucy peered around his large frame to look at Cass, who stood behind and nodded. It would ruin the whole plan if she pitched their idea and Kip was expecting a different proposition.

“It’s a task,” Lucy added to safeguard and couch her offer in transparency. Honesty was a rule of the System after all. “And it’s secret.”

The mechanic smiled. “Hey now…I don’t need to get myself into any trouble.”

Cass stepped forward. “It’s like this. In an hour or so, my dad will call the main elevator guards and tell them that he’s discovered something malfunctioning. And he’s sending you to fix it.”

They had thought of the plan early on—the only hiccup was getting Cass’s dad to call in the non-broken elevator. Lucy suggested Cass tell her dad the truth, she needed Frank; and after much deliberation it was decided—he would help. His agreement was born from the fear that without his help they would make a mess of the situation and land themselves in trouble.

“But there’s nothing wrong with the elevator. I’m following,” Kip said and he brought his hand up to the base of his neck and scratched his hairline, tilting his head and scrunching up his face as he did. “And then? What is it you’re after?”

Lucy reached into her pocket and pulled out a small bag of jerky that she had stolen from her mother’s pantry. She handed it to him, placed it in his palm, and closed his freckled hands around it. “For Frank.”

And Kip nodded with recognition. “I wondered why I hadn’t seen that thing around here. Thought maybe people started to complain.” He sighed. “Okay, I head up, fix the elevator, come back down and say to the guards, hey look, I found Frank?”

Cass and Lucy nodded.

“We’ll be waiting to claim him. Don’t let the guards say they’ll take him back. Say you want to do it yourself,” Lucy added, afraid that their whole plan would fall apart if a guard looking for some extra kudos took Frank before they could.

“I hate to ask…but I imagine you have something in mind. What’s in for me?” Kip said and grimaced as the words left his mouth. Cass patted him on the shoulder and then gave a little squeeze.

The prize wouldn’t have been much in the pre-release days, but even in her short time in the System, Lucy knew she had something valuable to give. In addition to stealing the jerky, which would likely not be missed, Lucy had taken something far more treasured. For a full week, Maxine had bartered with those in charge of their food allotment to give her fresh mangoes. Fresh food was rare. Exhausting all available means, Maxine was given the last two mangoes in the entirety of the underground System; she had paid a hefty price—two pantry trips and five of her ration cards. The implication was clear: Maxine would rather skip meals than go without the mangoes.

Juicy and sweet, a treat beyond compare, the fruit represented what they could not have until they left this place—it represented what they had taken advantage of in the world before and what they could have again when Huck’s new cities were built. Getting them was a sacrifice, and even Lucy understood their importance.

Beyond the basic reasons why the mangoes were special, they were also Lucy’s favorite food. And she knew that her mother fought for them for her. The mangoes were a peace-offering, an olive branch; a subtle and tender way to let Lucy know that she wouldn’t let her go and that her needs would be met here. As Lucy had tucked the green, yellow, and pink orbs into a small sack, her stomach ached.

Stealing the fruit was a worse sin than anything she had done.

She took her mother’s hope and hard work. And when her mother discovered their absence, she would be devastated.

For the greater good, she had said to herself as she slipped out to meet Cass, the weight of the contraband against her hip. She recognized the irony of using Huck’s words in an act that would defy his own orders. At that moment, she paused and closed her eyes. Maybe all of life was just a giant struggle—a giant, beautiful, complicated struggle—and those who hurt the ones they loved the least were the winners.

Still feeling the weight of guilt on her shoulders, Lucy looked at Kip’s eagerness and sighed. She tugged the bag free and motioned for him to come closer. Then she let him glimpse inside. His eyes grew wide with astonishment and excitement. For a second, Lucy was glad that Kip recognized their value, because she had been afraid she would have to sell him on the luxury.

“To eat. Or to trade,” Cass added.

Kip let his hands drop to his sides and then raised his eyebrows. “Trade, of course. You know what I can get for those? Fine, I’m in. I’ll go wait for the call.”

Blair opened the door to her apartment a half-inch and looked out at Lucy. She seemed surprised to see the familiar teenager standing outside her door and she made a move to close it, but then paused. She opened the door again, only a crack, and assessed Lucy.

“What do you want?” Blair asked warily. Lucy scooted to the left, her hand on Frank’s collar, and she pointed down to the dog without saying a word. When Blair noticed the lab, she flung the door open wide and dropped to her knees, grabbing Frank behind the ears and pressing her nose against his wet nose.

“Frank!” she cried and then she pulled back. “How did you—? Oh my goodness. Come, quick. Get inside.”

Stumbling forward, Lucy found herself in the front hallway of Blair’s apartment. Unlike her family’s place, Blair’s area was light and new—her furniture was modern; she had bright rugs and art pieces on the walls. It also looked like Blair was in need of a maid. Snack wrappers littered the mahogany coffee table and piles of clothes collected near the door to her bedroom. Even though it was only early evening, Blair was already in her pajamas—soft flannel that hugged her body and accentuated her perfect proportions.

“I’m sorry it’s a mess,” Blair said quickly as she saw Lucy scan her clutter.

Frank ran around in a circle, barking and wagging his tail. Then he ran over to Blair’s small kitchen and nosed around. His food and water dish remained untouched since he’d been gone and the dog did not waste any time inhaling the leftover kibble and lapping up the water.

“How could you possibly—?” Blair started to ask; then she stopped. “Why? Why did you do this for me?”

“The dogs died first,” Lucy said, remembering the fateful day of the Release. She wasn’t going to answer Blair’s question yet. “All the dogs died…but your pet was exempt?”

Blair nodded. “Your father helped me vaccinate Frank. This dog is my best friend. I couldn’t imagine a life without him.”

“And your dad wouldn’t let you go back up and get him?”

“No one is supposed to go to the surface until we move. I mean, my father and his army will travel around occasionally…but…it was a punishment. For…”

“Putting me in the tank?”

Blair closed her eyes. “You don’t understand.”

“You think I don’t understand complicated relationships between dads and daughters? Maybe you shouldn’t underestimate me,” Lucy replied and she put her hands on her hips. “I didn’t just bring your dog back to be kind. I need something and I think you can help me.”

With a sigh, Blair went over and plopped herself down on her couch; she moved aside a pile of clothes and kicked away several pairs of shoes. “Let me guess. You want to see the boy?”

It didn’t surprise Lucy that Blair guessed the reason she was standing there in her room. After all, so many of Lucy’s problems started with Blair and how she reacted seeing them up there aboveground in Brixton. She replayed that day over and over—maybe things would have gone differently if Lucy and Grant had arrived in the System and set their own terms. Huck was hell-bent on keeping the portal closed, but if she had seen her father first, or her mother first, maybe she could have saved Grant from the beginning.

“And I want a meeting with your dad,” Lucy added, putting everything on the table.

Resting her head on the back of her couch, Blair contemplated the requests. “Lofty requests,” she said after a minute.

“Getting the dog wasn’t easy—”

“I didn’t say no…yet,” Blair responded and she rolled her eyes. After a long moment, she sighed. “Fine. After your parents are asleep tonight, meet me here. Make sure you aren’t seen and aren’t followed. By anyone.”

“That’s it? It’s that easy? Tonight?”

She launched herself up from the couch like a shot and walked over to Lucy, her eyes fierce. “No, it’s not easy. We can’t be seen, we can’t be caught. But I will still help you. And I’ll no longer owe you a damn thing. Understood?”

“Understood,” Lucy said in an instant, afraid that Blair would rescind the offer at any moment. “Water under the bridge.”

“Ha,” Blair replied. Her voice was weary. Frank gave a friendly bark and Lucy leaned down to give the dog one final pat. He licked her hand with his rough tongue and she resisted the urge to bury her face into its fur and soak up his softness. Poor Frank, she thought. But her thoughts quickly turned toward tonight.

Soon she would see Grant.

And after that, she would save him.

Then she would have to find a way out of this place.

In the entirety of her teenage life, Lucy never once deigned to sneak out of the house. She never had a reason, first of all, but in addition to that, the wrath of Maxine was an all too real worry. She often wondered how her friends could deal with the guilt and worry associated with leaving the comfort of their beds behind and slipping out into the night—whether it was for love or friendship or just simple rebellion.

As she waited for her father and mother to drift off to sleep—waited for the subtle snores that emanated through the paper-thin walls—she was wide awake and nervous. Fully clothed underneath the covers, Lucy felt the night drag interminably.

Finally, the apartment fell silent and slipping her feet to the floor, Lucy tip-toed through her room and out into the living room—expecting her mother to burst forth from her room at any moment, her eyes flashing, bringing with her loud fury and rage.

With her hand on the door, Lucy heard the small creak of a door and the quick pitter-patter of feet. She turned and saw Harper scamper toward her, holding a stuffed teddy-bear in her hand, her bare feet slapping against the floor.

“Where are you going?” Harper asked, rubbing her eyes.

“Go back to bed,” Lucy commanded. She bent down and held her sister by the shoulders and turned her back to the room, but Harper pushed against her and spun forward again.

“No, I want to go with you.”

“You can’t go with me,” Lucy whispered. “You have to go back to sleep.”

Lucy’s heart pounded with the threat of discovery. She kept her eyes trained on her parent’s bedroom, waiting for them to stumble out and end her chance to see Grant. She thought of Blair, waiting for her arrival, and hoped that she wouldn’t give up hope that Lucy was coming.

“Are you leaving us?” Harper asked and the question caused Lucy to pause. “Are you going away from us again?”

“What? No,” Lucy answered. “Of course not. I’m coming back.”

“You were gone before and I missed you,” Harper replied and she crawled into her sister’s arms, snuggling her chin on her shoulder.

“I’m not going away. I’m going to see a friend.”

“I want to see your friend too,” Harper said. She was more awake than before, her eyes bright. It would be impossible to direct her back to bed and still make it to Blair on time.

With a groan, Lucy grabbed Harper’s hand and put a finger to her lips. “This is a secret,” she said. “Don’t talk.” And Harper nodded, wide-eyed, and gripped Lucy’s hand tighter. Together they slipped out into the hallway and out the unguarded doors.

She swiped her hand against the elevator doors, and traveled back to Blair’s floor. When the doors opened, Blair was waiting, her back against the metal hallway door. She popped up at the sight of Harper and wagged her finger.

“She was not part of the deal,” Blair said in a hushed voice.

“I had to bring her. She woke up,” Lucy complained and she tightened her grip on her sister’s hand. “I’ll need to see Grant alone…so…”

“Now I’m a babysitter?” Blair moved toward the elevator and swiped her own hand. “You’re pushing it, King.”

“I’m not a baby,” Harper complained. Blair shot her a look and Harper sunk into Lucy’s side.

They boarded the elevator and Blair pushed the button. Lucy watched closely. The same floor as the Center; Lucy’s heart pounded. Grant had been so close all this time and she had maybe even walked right past him without knowing. It made her heart sick to think about it. The doors slid open and there were two guards, Blair nodded to them and they nodded back, turning their heads away from the small trio as they walked in the opposite direction of Cass’s secret hallway.

“They won’t tell?” Lucy whispered and Blair didn’t answer. She rounded a corner and led them down several hallways, before bringing them outside a nondescript door. Then Blair pulled a single key from her pocket and opened the door; unlike the other doors, there was no swipe pad.

When the door swung open, Lucy was looking straight into a shiny lab.

She gulped. Her surreptitious mission now felt real, tangible. Grant was close.

“Stay here, Harper,” she whispered.

“Take the key. It’s a master. It will unlock any room in there,” Blair said and she held the shiny object out to Lucy in her outstretched hand. “You have ten minutes.”

“That’s all?” Lucy’s voice sounded weak and afraid. She cleared her throat. “That’s all I get?”

“Ten. Go,” Blair repeated and gave Lucy a small push inside the bright room.

Lucy walked in and the door shut behind her. She scanned from right to left; the room was empty and still. She didn’t know what she was expecting to see, but Grant was nowhere inside the lab. Her father’s lab was pristine—she expected nothing less. There were two rooms; one with a smattering of equipment and another with a metal bed and a long counter, a refrigerator with glass doors held shelves of vials and samples, each one labeled in her father’s steady hand.

She heard some rustling and a faint cough, and Lucy spun in the direction of the noise. There before her was a supply closet and she fumbled with the key and tore forward; after the lock clicked open, Lucy rushed forward—the door banging behind her. Sure enough, Grant was there, asleep. He was huddled into the fetal position on a cot, two shabby blankets pulled over his body, one leg falling off the bed, exposing a single dirty sock. She walked forward, trembling, and looked as his breath rose and fell. His skin was jaundiced and his eyes were hollow and they appeared black and blue.

She squatted down and wiped a piece of sandy-blonde hair out of his eyes. And then whispered, “Grant. Grant. Wake up.”

Upon hearing his name, Grant bolted upright, his eyes wide. Disoriented, he spun his head left and right before finally settling on Lucy; then after a few bleary seconds, he broke into a smile.

“Lucy! You’re here! You’re really here!” The blankets dropped away, exposing his bare chest and arms, and Lucy gasped. Track marks were etched into his flesh; dots and bruises traveled up and down his arms. Someone had been using him as a pincushion. Grant’s entire body seemed weak and sickly; her father had seemed to drain his body in a short amount of time. “How did you—?”

“It’s a long story…I’ll tell you another time. Just know that I’m here, Grant. I’m sorry it took me so long. I’m so sorry,” Lucy said and she hopped up on the bed next to him, looking at his arms and running her hand over the sores and the scars. “What has he done to you down here?”

“Human guinea pig,” Grant smiled. “Don’t let the body fool you,” he tapped his head. “Positive thinking, works wonders. I’m not that bad. I’ve kept my spirits up.”

“How could you possibly?” Lucy asked and she began to cry. Grant wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into him.

“Hey now,” he said into her hair. “It’s okay. I’m still here. You’re here.”

“I read your letter,” Lucy said and she pulled away, sliding her hands into his as his arms fell away from her shoulders. “I read it and I thought you were dead. I thought you were gone. And when I thought that…when I imagined losing you…”

“I knew I shouldn’t have given that letter to your dad,” Grant replied and he smiled. His single-dimple appeared in the center of his cheek.

“You can tell me anything,” she said. “No secret is too big to keep from me. I wish I had known about your mom…I wish so many things. I need you here with me, don’t you understand? And I’m fighting for that, you need to know that. I’m going to get you out of here.”

Grant squeezed her hand. He winced and coughed to the side. “You’re determined, but Lucy…my fate is sealed. There’s no way you could save me without risking everything.” He smiled a sad smile and then looked away.

“I’ll risk everything then,” Lucy replied and she straightened her back. She took her right hand and reached over and lifted his chin; then she looked him straight in the eye. “Everything.”

“Don’t. Not for me. That’s not what I want. Are you going to get in trouble for seeing me?”

She couldn’t tell him the truth. He had enough to worry about in here. “I’m going to keep seeing you every day until I can get you out of here,” she replied. “I’m sorry if it felt like I’d forgotten…I haven’t forgotten.”

Grant ran his fingers through his hair and smiled. “I hoped you wouldn’t worry about it. I’ve been happy to dream about you being content…”

“That’s ridiculous. I can’t be content in this place—”

He interrupted her. “You’re making it harder for me to come to terms with my future,” he said to her. “Don’t take this the wrong way…but seeing you makes me want to live, Lucy. You make me want to fight. And…with everything that is going to happen to me…”

“Stop!” Lucy said and she put her hand over his mouth, clasping it tightly against his cheeks. She could feel his lips pushing into her palm. “I won’t let anything happen to you,” she whispered. “Shut up. Shut up about giving up. You should fight.”