Текст книги "An On Dublin Street Valentine"

Автор книги: Samantha Young

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Текущая страница: 2 (всего у книги 6 страниц)

Ellie and Adam

“I almost feel bad for Joss and Braden,” I said as the hostess seated Adam and me at a lovely romantic corner table at the back of the restaurant. Our favorite restaurant in Old Town had gone the classy way for Valentine’s Day. There were no garish pink and red hearts anywhere. Just candlelight and red roses.

“I don’t,” Adam said. “We did the babysitting last year.”

“Exactly. We know what they’re going to have to put up with.” I gave him a mischievous smile. “Six kids. And Joss is pregnant.”

“You know Braden will probably do all the heavy lifting.” Adam stopped talking as the waiter approached and introduced himself. Once we had our menus in hand and our drinks ordered, the waiter walked away and Adam started talking as though we’d never been interrupted. “He’s acting extra protective of her since this is their last kid. You’d think she’s the only woman ever to be pregnant.”

I wrinkled my nose at his dry tone. “I think it’s romantic.”

“Els, you think everything and everyone is romantic.”

“Not true.” I looked at my menu. “Sometimes my husband is completely unromantic.”

“Are you ready to order?” the waiter appeared before Adam could respond with what I knew would be some sarcastic comment or other.

“Yes, please.” I gave him my order and Adam took a couple of minutes but eventually decided on what he wanted.

I sipped at my water, looking around the restaurant at all the other couples. They varied from being completely into one another, to looking bored. My guess was that the bored couples were the ones who had been together the longest.

As a romantic, I loved Valentine’s Day. I thought it was wonderful that we had a day dedicated to the people we loved. Adam, however, hated Valentine’s Day. In his words it was ‘a bunch of commercial bullshit’ and ‘completely unromantic to force people to show that they care’ when it was ‘far more romantic to be spontaneous’.

Despite my love of Valentine’s Day I tried to understand where he was coming from and almost kind of did. Although my husband had a practical nature, he was easy with his ‘I love yous’ and spontaneous little gifts. If you were married to someone like Adam you didn’t need Valentine’s Day. But not everyone had an Adam. Some people needed the reminder to show their partner that they loved them.

“Sweetheart.”

I turned to look at Adam. “Yeah?”

“Where did you go?” His brow was knitted together in concern.

I leaned across the table as I lowered my voice. “Look how bored half of these couples seem. Is that what marriage does to you?”

Adam looked around the room and then back at me. “We’ve been together for over a decade and we’re not bored. Right?”

I shook my head. “Of course not. Still… I wouldn’t want us to go that way.”

“We won’t,” he said, so certain.

I shrugged. “I just think perhaps—” I cut off as the waiter arrived with our starter.

“You just think?” Adam said once the waiter was gone.

“Perhaps we shouldn’t get lazy. You know… we should try to keep things spiced up in the bedroom.”

“For a couple who have two kids and full time jobs I think we’re doing pretty fucking good in the bedroom,” he said, seeming annoyed I’d say otherwise. “Or am I interpreting your orgasms incorrectly?”

I snorted. “No. You are not.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

I swallowed my food and took a sip of wine, giving myself a little courage to say what I wanted to say next. Finally I looked him in the eye. “We haven’t had sex in a public place. Perhaps we should do that.”

Adam gave me a slow, incredulous grin. “Sweetheart, are you joking?”

I frowned at his reaction. “No.”

“Come on, Els. It took you six months to stop blushing every time I called it ‘fucking’.”

A pang of hurt radiated in my chest and I looked down at my plate. I know he didn’t mean to be hurtful but still…

I sometimes thought everyone, including him, thought I was a sweet goody-two-shoes who didn’t know how to be wild and impulsive. A few years back I had a night in with the girls and we all got a little drunk and started oversharing. Jo had told us about a time when her and Cam were first dating and he had seduced her in a changing room in a shop, he was so desperate to have her. And then there was Nate and Liv who had sex on the hood of a car out by a beach one night.

That sounded so thrilling and passionate.

I’d been envious of them both.

Adam and I had a wonderful sex life. We did. But a little adventure would be amazing. Especially now we were parents and got so little time to ourselves, so little time to feel as young as we once did.

But apparently Adam didn’t think I was capable of being sexy, danger girl.

“Christ, Ellie,” he said, his voice soft. “Are you mad at me?”

I looked up into his concerned eyes. “You had sex with that waitress in public on my eighteenth birthday. I found you both going at it behind the hotel.”

Adam frowned at the mention of her. “She was a quick fuck. Not my wife, whom I love and respect.”

Dear God, could he make me sound any more boring?

I grimaced and Adam sat back, wary. “I said the wrong thing didn’t I?”

“Let’s just say I feel as sexy as a ninety year old grandmother with no teeth right now.”

He winced. “I didn’t mean—”

Lifting my hand I cut him off. “Let’s just eat and forget about it.”

The rest of our dinner was tense and silent.

In fact I was pretty desperate to get out of the restaurant and to the Valentine’s party we’d been invited to by one of my colleagues at the university. There I could mingle with other people and avoid my husband until I wasn’t quite so hurt and annoyed by him.

“We better grab a taxi,” I said as we stepped outside of the restaurant. “I’ll—Oh!” I yelped out in surprise as I found myself jerked backward down the alley between the restaurant and the bar next to it. “What are you doing?” I whispered frantically as Adam dragged me further into the dark.

Suddenly he pushed me up against the brickwork of the restaurant and started kissing me.

I got over my surprise quickly, kissing him back as he pressed his full length against mine. I sighed into his mouth in pleasure, remembering that I did indeed have a wonderful husband who loved to make me happy.

His lips trailed down my neck and I arched into his kisses, loving the heat of his mouth, the touch of his hands on my breasts, the smell of…

I wrinkled my nose, almost gagging.

“Fuck.” Adam broke away and looked at me. “That smell.”

I turned my head. “We’re right next to the bin.”

He followed my gaze to the huge rubbish bin we were standing next to. “That smell is horrific.”

“Not sexy,” I said softly, disappointment moving through me.

Adam looked back at me. At the sight of my disappointment he lifted his hand to brush my cheek with the back of his knuckles. “I love what we have. I don’t need sex down an alley. I just need you.”

I warmed at his words, trying to ignore the still swirling disappointment in my gut. “Yeah. Let’s just go the party.”

He took my hand and led me away, but I couldn’t help glancing back into the dark a little forlornly.

***

“Are we okay?” Adam said, giving my waist a squeeze.

We’d been at the party for five minutes, chatting to acquaintances and being introduced to people we didn’t know. I gave him a little smile. “We’re fine.”

His brows drew together but before he could say anything my colleague, and the host of said party Anthea, appeared.

“Ellie, I want you to come meet my friend Lacey. She’s this fabulous American who loves art history so much her knowledge will blow you away. Come, come.” She took my hand and began leading me away. I glanced over my shoulder at Adam. “Two minutes,” I mouthed and he nodded patiently.

But it wasn’t two minutes.

I was introduced to Lacey and her date for the night, Jack. Lacey could talk! I barely got a word in edgeways, and it was with some relief when Anthea arrived to drag Lacey off to meet someone else.

“Drink,” Jack said, offering me a glass of wine.

I smiled and took it. “Thank you.”

“She’s uh… she’s a bit much.” He nodded in the direction Lacey had taken off in.

I eyed him carefully. “First date?”

He grimaced. “And I’m afraid the last.”

“Oh dear.” I sighed.

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “If you don’t try though right?”

I smiled at his optimism. “Exactly.”

“So, you’re actually a college lecturer for art history? Did Lacey get any of what she was saying right?”

Laughing, I nodded. “Lacey may talk a lot, but at least she’s talking with the knowledge to back it up.”

“Well that’s something,” he said dryly.

“What is it you do?”

“I’m an optician.”

“Really?” I grinned. “I’ve never met an optician before. I mean of course I’ve met an optician because I go to one every two years but not outside of the actual opticians…” I wrinkled my nose at my rambling but it only made Jack laugh.

“I got what you meant. I can assure you, it’s not the most interesting job, although I do enjoy watching people’s reactions when I lean in close to inspect their eyes. You’ve got the ones who tense up, completely uncomfortable because I’ve stepped over the personal space line. Then you’ve got the heavy mouth breathers… I don’t even want to go there. And my personal favorite… the people who are struggling not to get the giggles over it.”

I laughed. “I’m the last.”

Jack chuckled. “I thought you might be.”

I fell easily into conversation with him, laughing and chatting about everyday nonsense as we finished off a glass of wine and started another.

We’d found a corner where we could hear each other over the noise of the party and I thought nothing of our amiable chitchat until I lifted my left hand to smooth my hair back from my face.

Jack’s eyes caught on my hand and he grew still. To my surprise, disappointment entered his expression. “You’re married?”

I tensed, realizing he’d only just now spotted my wedding rings.

Oh crap.

Did he… ?

“Yes, I’m married.”

He dragged his gaze over me and I suddenly felt very uncomfortable standing there in my cocktail dress and heels. “Of course you’re married,” he said hollowly. “Why wouldn’t you be?”

“I thought you saw them.” I looked down at my wedding rings. “Did you think I was flirting?”

“Yes, I definitely did.” He stared at me intensely. “Are you sure you weren’t?”

“Of course I wasn’t,” I said indignantly. And I bloody well wasn’t!

He nodded. “No, I suppose you weren’t.”

We had just been talking. Friendly chatter. Nothing more!

He sighed and shook his head. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright.” I wanted to escape but I didn’t know how to do it without being rude.

Jack shot me a look, the spark of hope in it making me freeze. “Are you sure you’re happily married?”

“Yes, she fucking is.” Adam snarled at him, appearing at my side.

I looked up at him wide-eyed, as he wrapped his arm around my wrist and pulled me away.

“It’s not what you think,” I said to his back as he hauled me through the crowds. “Adam!”

But he wasn’t listening.

 I could feel the anger vibrating off him as he dragged me out of the sitting room and down the crowded hall. He pounded on a door and when he got no response he threw it open and pulled me inside behind him.

We were in the bathroom.

Adam locked it behind us.

“I wasn’t flirting with him,” I said immediately.

His response was to jerk me toward him and then shove me against the door.

I was shocked by his roughness. “Adam,” I whispered.

He glowered at me as he pressed his body into mine and I gasped at the feel of his erection. “How would you have felt?” he said hoarsely as he pinned my hands up beside my head and ground his dick against me. “If it had been you who found me with some woman, flirting with me, looking at me like she wanted to fuck me right there and then, and then asking me if I was happily married?”

I swallowed hard. “Is that how it looked?”

“Jesus, Ellie, are you fucking oblivious?”

“Apparently,” I winced.

He stared at me, his anger not dissipating any and then he groaned in frustration, the sound filling my mouth as he kissed me. His kiss was hard, punishing and more than a little thrilling.

His kiss felt out of control.

Suddenly my hands were free as his slid roughly down my body. I wrapped my arms around him, drawing him ever closer.

I shivered at the feel of his fingers on my inner thigh, and I sighed into his mouth as those fingers moved upward and slipped beneath my underwear. My own fingers curled into the hair at the nape of his neck as he dragged his thumb over my clit.

I pushed my hips into his touch as he slid two fingers inside of me.

I gasped at the sensation, breaking the kiss as my head fell back against the door.

“You’re already wet,” he said, voice thick with arousal and surprise.

I opened my eyes to look at him and his own gaze darkened with heat at what he saw in mine. Yes, I was already wet, because I was utterly turned on by the fact that my husband was so desperate for me.

And that desperation only increased at my expression.

“Fuck,” he panted, his chest heaving as his breathing quickened. His hands went to his jeans and my belly rippled low with need as he unzipped. He pushed his jeans down low enough to release his dick and my thighs began to quiver.

Eyes locked to mine, Adam pushed the hem of my dress up and then tore my underwear down.

My grip on him tightened as the pulse between my legs throbbed.

“Adam.” His name was a plea.

He hooked my left thigh around his hip and thrust up.

My head slammed back against the door and I cried out at the pleasure of being filled completely by him.

“Ellie,” he grunted, his eyes low-lidded with his desire. “My Ellie.”

My husband continued to pump into me, his thrusts hard and fast as he pounded me against the bathroom door. I wrapped both legs around his waist and he moved deeper inside of me.

I called out his name along with God’s.

“Everyone can hear us,” he whispered against my lips. “Everyone can hear how much I want you.”

My inner muscles clenched around him at the thought and his eyes widened slightly at the evidence of how aroused I was by this.

“Fuck, Ellie.” He thrust harder.

“Oh God!” I dug my fingers into his shoulders, the tension inside of me reaching breaking point. “Adam!” I came around him hard and he cried out my name as my climax squeezed around his driving cock, wrenching his own orgasm from him.

He slumped against me, his hands still clutching my thighs, holding me up. He panted against my neck, his lips trailing along the skin under my ear. Finally, as our breathing grew more controlled he pulled back to look me in the eyes.

“You can still surprise me,” he said, tenderness and love mixed with the satisfaction in his gaze.

I smiled slowly. “You can still surprise me, too. I thought you were over the whole possessive thing.”

The muscle in his jaw clenched. “I trust you and I’m secure in our relationship. It doesn’t mean I can sit back and watch some good-looking guy five years my junior hitting on my wife.”

I wrinkled my nose. “Was he good-looking?”

Adam stared at me a moment and then a slow smile curled his beautiful lips. “You didn’t notice he was good-looking?”

I shook my head, sliding my hands into his hair. “I’m not attracted to anyone but you.”

“Jesus, what did I do to deserve you, Els?” he sagged against me, sliding his arms around my back to hug me to him.

“You’re pretty good with the whole orgasm thing,” I teased.

He laughed, the movement causing a pleasurable friction inside of me and I gasped at the tingle of arousal it reignited.

Adam’s clasp on me tightened. “I need to get you home.”

“We have to pick up the boys,” I reminded him.

Slowly he lowered me to my feet and slipped out of me. We looked into each other’s eyes as we each fixed our clothing. When our clothing was back in place he cupped my cheek. “We’ll get the boys, put them to bed, and then you and I are finishing what we started.”

I grinned. “I like the sound of that.”

He took my hand, unlocked the bathroom door and led me out. He immediately halted and I frowned, about to ask him what was wrong. But then I looked over his shoulder.

What was wrong was that Lacey was standing in the hallway, along with Anthea and Jack, as well as a few other guests.

Anthea smirked at me and shook her head. “Are you done in there?”

I blushed, reaching up with my free hand to smooth my hair, which was now much wilder than it had been before Adam dragged me into the bathroom.

My husband looked down at me and grinned at my blush. “Public enough for you.”

I blushed harder which made him laugh harder.

“We were just leaving,” I said apologetically to Anthea, not even able to meet anyone else’s eyes.

My friend raised an eyebrow. “Oh I’ll bet.”

Adam said his goodbyes and started to lead me away.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered to her as we were passing.

“Don’t be.” She grinned. “You lucky cow.”

I laughed and let Adam guide me out of the flat.

He was chuckling as we walked down the stairs.

“What?”

He looked back at me still grinning. “Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart.”

I squeezed his hand, grateful for this man who would do anything to make me happy. “It’s one for the ages.”

Johanna and Cameron

I had butterflies in my belly.

Life continued to surprise me. Eleven years Cam and I had been together. We had a three– almost-four year old daughter and we were best friends. And yet, somehow, these past few months I’d lost touch with my best friend. And it was hard to explain how scary that was.

Cam had started a new job with a large international marketing company. On top of that he did freelance work with artists and independent businesses. It felt like all he did was work lately, and since I worked full time and we had Belle, there really had been no ‘us’ time.

We hadn’t had sex in six weeks.

That may not have been much to other couples but that was unheard of for us, and I was more than a little worried. I was more than a little hurt.

My decision to surprise him with a special Valentine’s evening out was a last minute thing suggested by my friend Joss. I was on a housing development site, painting another room a boring bright white, when I decided to call Joss on my break. The distance between my husband and me was eating at me. I felt incredibly lonely. I finally let myself acknowledge that and called Joss for help, hoping I wasn’t interrupting her writing.

“Nah,” she’d said. “I decided not to start a word count today because it’s only going to be interrupted in a couple of hours when all the kids get here.”

“Oh yeah, it’s your turn to babysit this year.”

“Yes it is.” She’d sighed heavily. “I could really do with some alone time with Braden tonight.”

“I know what you mean.” I’d gone on to tell her everything that had not been happening between Cam and me.

“Why have you been keeping this to yourself? Are you okay?”

Her concern made tears prick my eyes and I was glad I’d found an empty room in the house we were working on. I did not want to be overheard by my colleague Deacon. “It’s just six weeks.”

“That’s a lot for you two. And it’s not just the sex. When was the last time you had an actual conversation?”

“I can’t remember. It’s just been a lot of hellos and goodbyes. I knew things would be hard while he tries to make a name for himself at the company but I don’t like this, Joss. I don’t like feeling like I don’t know what’s going on with my own husband. And the fact that he doesn’t even seem to be bothered is more than a little terrifying.”

“He’s probably just preoccupied. But you have to talk to him, Jo. Otherwise this will just build up into a huge ball of fiery resentment and that will not end well. I promise.” She sighed. “You know what you should do? Surprise him. Look, Braden and I had reservations for La Cour tonight because he forgot about the whole babysitting thing. I’ll see if we can transfer the reservation to your name. Ask Mick or Cam’s parents to look after Belle tonight and then go and surprise Cam at work, take him out for the night and then take him home and break this dry spell.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ll text you to let you know if we can get the table for you.”

“Great. Thanks, Joss.”

And she did text me and we did get the table. After arranging to have my uncle Mick and his wife Dee take Belle I finished up early at work, got home, showered, put on a slinky sequined T-shirt dress and heels and grabbed a cab that took me across New Town to Cam’s office.

Standing outside it was when I was hit with the butterflies. Butterflies. All because I was going on a date with my husband.

Yeah. He and I really needed to sort this out between us. As much as I was still filled with anticipation anytime he and I went on dates (not that I could remember the last time that happened), butterflies were a thing of the past. And I was happy they were. Their absence spoke of my security with Cam, something that I never thought I’d have with any man since I was unbelievably riddled with insecurities when Cam first met me.

The return of the butterflies was a bad sign.

An omen, one might say.

I went to buzz into the building but the door opened and two guys in suits came out, smiled at me and held the door open for me. I smiled back, feeling a flush of pleasure as one of them held my gaze a little too long.

I loved my husband and I didn’t want anyone else but I had to admit, as someone who used to rely solely on my looks because I didn’t think I had anything else going for me, it was flattering when men still looked at me. Especially at the moment when I felt almost invisible at home. I was almost thirty three, I’d had a baby, and while my husband just got better looking with age, I’d started to notice wrinkles around my eyes, that my breasts weren’t as perky as they had been pre-Belle, and I’d even plucked out a few gray hairs in amongst my long strawberry blonde locks.

I knew Cam loved me, but I also still wanted him to want me. And I definitely wanted him to notice me.

Bolstered by the handsome guy in the suit and his appreciation, I smoothed my hands down my dress that twinkled beneath my coat, ready for Cam to see it and get that look in his eyes that I loved.

Taking the lift to his floor, I tried to stem the butterflies, kind of aggravated by them now.

“Excuse me.” I stopped a woman who was leaving the now almost empty office. “I’m looking for Cameron MacCabe.”

She smiled at me. “Through the door on the left. You can’t miss his desk.”

I nodded my thanks and followed her instructions.

I almost wished I hadn’t, my aggravation increasing a million fold when I stepped into the open plan office to find my husband sprawled casually back in his chair, gazing up at the brunette sitting on his desk.

My eyes travelled over the young woman, my blood heating as I took in every detail of her. She was younger than me, in her early twenties, and she was sitting on my husband’s desk with her slim legs crossed, her grey skirt riding up her thighs. Her pretty face was framed by poker straight shiny light brown hair, and she was focused completely on Cameron.

I knew that look.

Back in the day, before Cam arrived and saved me from an empty life, I used to wear that look when I’d targeted a man I was determined to make mine.

It was a predator’s flirty, sexy, seductive look.

My stomach dropped.

I took two slow steps toward them, my feet feeling heavy as I watched Cam’s reaction to her. He kept his distance physically, and his smile was only just friendlier than polite. He seemed interested in what she had to say… but most importantly he was here with her instead of at home with me.

The last three months of little affection, of distance, of late nights... the last six weeks of no sex at all… it all pooled together into my mind as I walked toward them and the awful suspicions planted themselves there as much as I hated myself for thinking it of him.

He would never… he would never betray me.

But was he thinking about it?

Did he want to?

I swallowed past the sudden lump in my throat as I neared and Cameron caught sight of me out of the corner of his eyes. He jerked his head toward me, surprise slackening his features.

“Jo.” He stood up with ease and the brunette turned to look at me, her eyes narrowing as they swept over me. “Sweetheart, what are you doing here?”

I stared at him, still struggling to speak past the emotion choking me, and then I stared at her.

“Jo, this is Ally, one of the creatives.” Cam gestured to her and she slid gracefully off his desk. She didn’t hold her hand out to me but gave me a nod, her eyes dimming with disappointment as she took me in. “Ally, this is my wife Johanna.”

Since she didn’t offer any of the normal pleasantries such as ‘nice to meet you’ I didn’t either.

I turned back to Cam. “I wanted to surprise you for Valentine’s Day. I got us reservations for dinner.”

“Shit.” He winced, eyes filled with remorse. “Sweetheart, Valentine’s Day.”

Yes, I was very aware that he’d forgotten. “Valentine’s Day,” I murmured.

“Let me just shut everything down.”

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, Cam,” Ally said, smiling at him. She gave me a little nod as she strode by, swinging her hips in exaggeration.

My husband didn’t watch her leave and that was probably a good thing. I might have killed him if he did.

Once he’d grabbed his coat we walked out of the office together. He placed his hand on my lower back to lead me out and I tensed.

He sighed once we were in the lift alone. “I can’t even believe you’re thinking what you’re thinking right now.”

I stared straight ahead, trying to keep a hold on my emotions. “I’m thinking I’ve barely spoken two words to my husband in months because he’s always working late. Tonight would have been another night you were late home and I’m suddenly realizing it’s not because of work. It’s because you’re having flirty conversations with a girl ten years younger than your wife.”

“That’s not even… that’s ridiculous,” he huffed, sounding exhausted.

“Tonight it was the truth.” I turned to look at him as the doors to lift opened. “Tonight would have been more time away from me and Belle, and for what? To talk with Ally?”

He stared at me, a spark of guilt there. “I never thought of it that way. I’m sorry. But we were talking about work. I promise. It’s nothing more than that, Jo.”

Chest aching as I realized how badly the growing distance between us had impacted on me I suddenly wanted to bury my head in the sand. “Let’s just go eat.” I strode out of the lift and Cam followed me outside. We were quiet as we waited for a cab to come along with its light on. Once we found one we got inside and I gave the driver our destination.

“La Cour?” Cam said, surprised. La Cour was a restaurant that Braden once owned years ago. He’d sold it to a chef friend of his and it had gone from popular to Michelin star popular. It was incredibly difficult to get a reservation.

“Joss and Braden got us it.”

“This was really nice of you, sweetheart.” I felt his warm hand slide into mine and I let him hold my hand, but I didn’t hold his.

He squeezed me, attempting to thaw me. “Who did you get to look after Belle?”

“Uncle Mick.”

“I’m looking forward to being alone with you.”

I didn’t say a word and he laced his fingers through mine, his grip tightening. “It’ll be nice,” I managed to wheeze out.

The silent tense atmosphere between us was almost hard to breathe in and it lasted all the way to the restaurant, until we were seated inside La Cour and were eating our starters.

Cam’s phone beeped on the table beside his plate as we ate. I watched him beneath my lashes as he picked it up and frowned at whatever he read.

“What is it?”

He flicked me a wary look. “Nothing.”

My pulse started to race faster than the already rapid speed it was going at. “If it’s nothing you’ll let me see it.” I held out my hand to him.

Cam glowered at me as he passed it over. “I’ve got nothing to hide from you, sweetheart. Stop treating me like a criminal.”

I took the phone off him and stared at his screen.

It was a text from Ally: Your wife seemed mad at us. Are you okay?

My temper started to rise and I flicked through his past conversations with her. I was only somewhat mollified by the fact that they were all work related and not flirtatious.

I handed him his phone back. “You don’t think that text is inappropriate? Since when are you and she an ‘us’?”

He put his phone away. “I do think it’s inappropriate, that’s why I’m not replying.”

“She’s flirting with you.”

“I won’t encourage it.”

“I guess that’s not the point anymore.” I shook my head in disgust, angry that he was oblivious to how shipwrecked our relationship was at the moment.

Something like alarm entered his expression at my tone. “Jo,” he leaned over the table, trying to reach for my hand but I pulled back, “You’re getting worked up over nothing.”

Nothing? Did he honestly not see what was going on here?

I threw my napkin on the table and stood up, my chair scraping loudly along the hardwood floors. “I’m not in the mood for Valentine’s Day after all. I’ll see you back home.”

“Jo.” He stood up, reaching for my arm and missing as I fled the restaurant.

I felt sick.

Absolutely sick.

I got in a taxi, trembling the whole way to London Road. Once inside the flat I looked around at the familiar space, the place we’d lived in together for over a decade.

My gaze locked on Belle’s doll. It was draped across the armchair. Her cartoon DVDs were scattered across the floor in front of the television.

I wanted my daughter in my arms so much it hurt.

I wanted to breathe her in and take comfort from her.

Because my home didn’t feel familiar right now. It felt cold and lonely and missing its familiar beauty.

The front door slammed and I heard Cam’s heavy, fast strides as he walked down the hallway. He appeared in the doorway to the sitting room, his tall frame taking up an intimidating amount of space. His expression was as black as midnight.

“What the fuck was that?” he snapped.

“Do you not want to be with me anymore?” I said, warm, salty tears slipping quietly down my cheeks at the utterance of my fear.

My husband looked at me incredulously as he took a step toward me. I waved a hand at him, warding him off and he frowned, halting. “Where is this coming from?”

“Did you know Dee had a breast cancer scare a month ago?”

He blinked rapidly at the dramatic turn in conversation. “No.”