Текст книги "One King's Way"

Автор книги: Samantha Young

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Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 10 страниц)

Rain

“You look fantastic,” I said to my sister.

We were on an early morning Skype call for the first time since Darcy had gone out to Australia. Well, early morning for me, evening for her. We’d stayed in contact via phone calls and emails, but they’d been brief because when Darcy was depressed she went into herself. I’d noticed our last few phone calls had been better, however, and I began to hope that she was coming out of the dark place Angus’s betrayal had sent her into.

When she suggested we Skype call because she missed my face, I knew for certain she was coming back to herself. I was excited that my little sister was going to be okay. I was excited to see her because I missed her face, too, and I was excited because I finally felt like I could tell her about Craig.

It had been six weeks since we’d told each other we loved each other, and for those six weeks we’d been practically inseparable. I’d met his mother, Karen, and fallen in love with her, too, and thankfully she seemed to like me a lot.

The only person of importance between us who didn’t know we were together and in love was Darcy. I’d felt she was in too fragile a place to start waxing lyrical about my love affair.

But now . . . now I could see for myself that she was getting back to herself again, and I couldn’t wait to tell her about Craig.

My beautiful sister beamed at me. “You always look fantastic. It’s so good to see you.”

“You too. I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too. A hell of a lot.” Darcy leaned in toward the screen. “I need to tell you something and then I need to ask you something.”

There was a glitter of excitement and apprehension in her eyes. “Is everything alright?”

“I’m not coming back to Edinburgh.”

I stared stupidly at the screen, trying to make her abrupt declaration make sense.

“Rain, I don’t want to come back. It holds bad memories now. And I love it here in Sydney.”

I felt a sharp pain in my chest. “But what about us?”

“I don’t want to lose you again. I can’t lose you again. You’re my other half. That’s why I’m asking you to move out here. We can run Darraign from anywhere, you know we can.”

My heart was pounding. “Move to Australia?”

She misinterpreted my reluctant tone. “I know it seems like a huge move but, Rain, you’ll love it here. The sun, the people, the lifestyle. You’ll fit in great. Please, please think about it.”

“But whether or not I say yes, you’re staying out there?” I said, needing to clarify.

When she nodded that pain in my chest turned into a burning ache. “I’ve thought about this long and hard. I’ve been over and over it. There’s no changing my mind, Rain. I’m so happy here. But I’d be happier if you were here with me. You know how much I need you.”

Darcy. I felt like crying at her words because . . .

Craig.

Craig would never leave his family behind in Scotland. He’d never make that move.

So it was either Craig or Darcy.

Oh God.

I thought I might be sick.

“You look a bit peaky. Are you okay?”

I looked away, trying to think. Think! THINK! “I had dodgy takeout last night.”

Darcy chuckled. “Oh, babe, another reason you should move out here. The food is so good and I know all the best takeout places.”

I gave her a weak smile. “Another point for the plus column.”

“I’m assuming I’m worth ten points for the plus column?” Darcy winked.

I looked at her, my heart filled with love and a terrible sadness. “Babe, you are the plus column.”

She grinned at me. “Is that a yes, then? Please say yes.”

I thought about leaving Craig and the pressure I felt on my chest was unbearable.

As though Darcy saw my hesitation, she leaned closer in to the screen. “Please, Rain. I’ve . . . Well.” She smiled unsurely. “I’ve met someone. He makes me happy. I’d really like you to meet him.”

Fear knifed through me.

I’d heard Darcy say those words once before. The result was her fleeing to Australia.

And just like that I knew I couldn’t fail her again.

If I signed off, telling her I’d think about it, I knew what conclusion all my to-ing and fro-ing would eventually bring me to: I’d once left Darcy behind, I’d put her last, and it had taken me a long time to regain my sister, the only family I had. She needed me and I couldn’t let her down again. I had to make sure this new guy was actually a decent one. I had to protect her, even if it was from her own choices.

I felt winded as this wave of emotion crashed over me. My eyes filled with tears and I did my best to make them seem like happy tears as I gave my sister a watery smile. “Yes. I’ll move out there.”

Darcy let out a squeal of happiness, clapping her hands like a little girl, and I gave a strangled laugh, the tears spilling down my cheeks. “Look, I have to go because I have a phone meeting with our manufacturer, but I’ll call you tomorrow morning your time to iron out the details, okay?”

“Okay, go, go! We’ll speak soon.” She waved enthusiastically and I waved back before shutting my laptop closed.

As soon as her face was gone, I broke out into harsh sobs, trying to let go of the pain I felt in every muscle, every nerve, every inch of my body.

It was agony.

The agony of having to choose between the two people I loved most in the world

It was the agony of agreeing to let go of the man I loved.

* * *

After I cried, feeling despairing and dramatic, I tried to calm myself down. I attempted to wrap my head around the situation, wondering if there was any possible way around it.

I couldn’t find any.

I just kept seeing my sister’s expression the day I finally came back to Inverness for her. It had taken me a minute to process her expression because I was so taken aback by how gaunt and tired she looked. And then I’d focused on her eyes and they were like knives, slicing me to punishing ribbons for the crime of abandonment.

I couldn’t see that look on her face again. I couldn’t put my needs before hers again.

The last thread of hope I was holding on to was the miniscule possibility that Craig would follow me across the world.

By the time Craig turned up at my flat that afternoon before his shift, I was huddled on the big comfy armchair in my living room with a cold mug of tea between my hands. I was jittery as hell, feeling so nervous I was queasy and shaky.

“Darlin’, it’s me,” he called as he entered my flat.

For a while there I’d truly believed I’d get to hear him greet me this way every day. I felt a fresh well of tears spring to my eyes.

“There you are.” He strode into the living room, coming toward me with purpose. Last night he’d done overtime and he’d gone back to his flat instead of waking me up in the wee hours of the morning. A long kiss at the very least was in order.

But Craig stopped suddenly, taking in my face. “Darlin’?” Concern flashed across his expression and he was suddenly by my side, gently tipping my face up to the light. He took in my red eyes. “What happened? Who do I need to kill?”

I gave him a watery smile at his protectiveness and nuzzled into his hand like a cat. “Just me,” I said, my voice hoarse.

“Rain.” He maneuvered into the seat, lifting me up gently before taking my spot and then settling me on his lap. I immediately buried my face in his neck, breathing him in, feeling his warm strength wrap around me.

I started to cry again.

Craig ran his hand up and down my spine. “Okay, now you’re really starting to worry me.”

It took me a moment to grab hold of my runaway emotions. Finally I managed to contain the tears to sniffles, and Craig gently eased my head back so he could see me.

My eyes washed over his handsome, familiar face, and I swear I felt and heard a crack in my chest. Tense now as I tried to keep it together long enough to explain, I clenched my jaw against the tears. “Darcy called.”

“Your Skype chat?”

He’d called me last night on his break and he knew how excited I was to see her again and to tell her about him.

“She’s staying,” I whispered, biting my lip against more tears.

“In Australia?”

I nodded, the tears escaping.

Sweet sympathy and tenderness filled Craig’s eyes. “Oh, darlin’, I’m so sorry. I know how much you miss her.”

“That’s not it.” I swallowed hard and then took a big deep breath. “I didn’t get a chance to tell her about you and me because she dropped her bomb . . .” I brushed impatiently at my tears, forcing myself to meet his eyes even though I thought I might die watching his expression when he learned I hadn’t chosen him. “She said she needs me. She asked me to go out there and run the company with her from Sydney.”

I felt Craig tense beneath me, a light of disbelief entering his eyes. “Go out there? For good?”

My mouth trembled. “Yes. She’s also met someone. She wants me to meet him.” And I knew the answer I’d given my sister was now written across my face.

And he looked heartbroken.

A sob burst forth before I could stop it and Craig yanked me against him, holding me so tight I could barely breathe, but I didn’t care. I clung to him just as hard.

We sat together for a long time, not saying a word, just holding on for dear life.

*   *   *

Some time later Craig finally spoke and his voice was thick with emotion. “I can’t go with you. I know you need to go because of your history with Darcy . . . but just as you’ve got to look out for your family I have to look out for mine. They need me like she needs you.”

That hope, as miniscule as it was, went up in a puff of smoke and the crack that had emerged inside me split apart, leaving me with only half of myself.

I was leaving the other half with this man.

And I didn’t want to believe I’d never get him or it back. “Maybe after a while she’ll change her mind.”

He cupped my face in his hands and pressed a soft, sweet kiss to my lips. When he pulled back he said sadly, “We can’t live on maybes, darlin’. It would only hurt us more.”

I nodded, needing to cry again and wondering if the tears would ever stop. “A clean break, then?”

His grip on me automatically tightened, his fingers digging in. The muscles in his jaw flexed as he struggled with his own emotions. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“Me neither.”

“When will you go out to her?”

“I’m calling her back this evening. We’re going to discuss the arrangements but I’d imagine it will be as soon as possible.”

“Then we’ll have that time.”

“You can just leave if you want,” I offered even though I hated to do so. “Now. If it makes it easier. Clean break now.”

“No,” he growled, pulling me against him. “We’ll spend the rest of your time here together, and I will take you to the airport and we won’t say good-bye until you need to get on that plane.”

The tears came again like I knew they would, but Craig was done with the tears. He kissed them away and stood up with me in his arms. Holding me close, he carried me to my bed and laid me down.

He made love to me with thoroughness and a raw need that I’d never experienced before. Afterward, instead of leaving, he called in sick to work, and he spent the rest of the night showing me how much he never wanted to let me go.

Rain

It was winter in Sydney but the month of August was fairly mild, reminding me of April and May back home.

I loved the fact that winter wasn’t freezing-your-arse-off cold. In the three weeks I’d been living in the ridiculously expensive flat a few blocks from George Street (a flat my sister chose and one we’d be moving out of when the six months were up), I’d reluctantly come to admire Sydney.

I liked the warmth of the Australians. We shared a similar sense of humor, no one looked twice at my clothes and hair but instead accepted my style as nothing out of the ordinary, the food was great, I loved being so close to the water, and there was a bustling vibrancy about the city that I didn’t even realize I was missing in Edinburgh.

But none of that mattered.

Every night I still went to bed, aching with longing—a longing so deep in my bones sometimes I could almost feel Craig’s arms wrapped around me, feel his warm breath on my neck as he held me.

I heard his deep voice in the dark of the night, whispering loving words, sex words. I’d remember his lovemaking and my body would grow increasingly hot, my frustration increasing when the vibrator in my nightstand did little to ease my need for him.

I was miserable and I wondered how long it was going to take me to move on.

Because I was terrified I never would.

* * *

“Can I get you another glass of wine, Rain?”

The sound of my name jerked me out of my daydreaming. I glanced up at Liam. He was standing by the table instead of sitting beside me in the booth we were all crammed into. I hadn’t even noticed him shimmy out. “Please.” I gave him a small smile and he grinned at me before disappearing off to the bar.

Liam was one of the friends Darcy had made. He was a friend of her friend, Joanie, the girl she’d been staying with these past few months. Like most nights, we were hanging out with a component of Joanie’s large group of mates. On my left was Dex, an American who was dating Mei. Mei was close with Darcy, sitting opposite Dex, and next to Joanie, who was wedged in between her and Xander, Darcy’s new boyfriend. At the end of the booth, sitting tucked into Xander’s side, was Darcy.

I flicked my gaze away from Liam’s retreating back and it clashed with my sister’s. I didn’t like the way she was studying me . . . as though she’d suddenly guessed how unhappy I was. I flashed her a smile, faking it. “You okay?”

“I’m okay.”

“I think Liam fancies you, Rain,” Joanie suddenly said, breaking the intense staring match between my sister and me.

Darcy smiled, a genuine one. “Everyone fancies Rain.”

“You’re one to talk,” Joanie scoffed, and I detected the very real jealousy in her tone and in her eyes as she looked away from my sister.

Darcy sensed it, too, caught my eye, and made a face at me.

I bit my lip, trying not to laugh.

Xander caught the interplay between us and I saw a small smile flash across his face.

My sister was gorgeous. We both had dark, almost black hair, but where I had big dark brown eyes, Darcy had tip-tilted eyes so blue they were like the aqua waters that surrounded Santorini. The blue only stood out more against the long black lashes that framed her eyes. They were stunning eyes. Her features were also more refined than mine, more aristocratic. Plus she was smaller in height and curvier than me. Gorgeous.

Smart.

And strong.

She’d proven how strong.

I was so damn proud of her, and as miserable as I was without Craig, I loved that I got to be with my sister again. More than that, I loved that I got the chance to see how much she’d learned from her mistakes. Xander was the complete opposite of Angus. He wasn’t a pretty boy by any means. In fact, except for his build (he was a very tall, very fit personal trainer), Xander wasn’t all that extraordinary looking. But as I got to know him, I saw the kind humor in his dark eyes and the charisma of a confident, down-to-earth man who looked at my sister like she was a goddess.

He made her laugh.

A lot.

So far he’d only had eyes for Darcy.

And I liked him a heck of a lot for all of that.

I’d discovered, too, that the fateful phone call with Darcy, when she told me she’d started dreaming about Angus and what he did to her again after weeks of recovery, was due to Xander. He’d pursued her determinedly and his pursuit had opened Darcy’s wounds regarding Angus. It had been painful for her, but she definitely seemed to have healed as she came out on the other side of it. To my delight, my sister told me all about Xander’s “courtship” of her and how, despite how difficult she made it for him, he hadn’t given up until she’d given him a chance.

“I thought Liam was dating some German girl,” Mei piped in, pulling me from my Xander musings.

“I’m thinking he’d dump her for a shot at Rain,” Joanie cracked dryly.

“He’s hot,” Mei said.

I glanced at Darcy and could tell she silently agreed. She gave me that “you could do worse” look.

Was Liam hot? I hadn’t really paid attention. I glanced back at the bar and took in his tall, built body. He was in book publishing and he was a surfer. Smart and athletic. And he was the only Australian at the table. His accent was hot.

I could do worse.

But I’d also done better. I’d had Craig. Liam was some other girl’s Craig.

He wasn’t for me.

“I’m not interested,” I muttered, softening my words with an apologetic smile.

“I better warn him not to dump the German, then,” Dex cracked.

I laughed halfheartedly and unfortunately Darcy caught it. She narrowed her eyes in suspicion and I looked away.

My sister would never know about Craig, no matter what. I didn’t want her to know the choice I’d made.

* * *

For the next couple of days life in Sydney went on as usual. Darcy worked on designs for our upcoming fall season and I dealt with emails from our manufacturer in Newcastle back in the UK, and emails from our admin and tech support back home who dealt with accounts, customer inquiries, and the updating of our online clothing store.

I was lulled into a false sense of security with Darcy. I thought my secret safe from her.

Imagine my surprise then when I returned home from grabbing us takeout at a local Chinese to find Darcy sitting on my bed with my iPad mini in her hands.

The photos from my phone were on there.

She turned the iPad and I drew in a sharp breath at a photo of Craig and me. We were standing on a dock on Loch Lomond. It was a selfie of us with the Loch in the background. We were pressed cheek to cheek, smiling happily into the camera. It had been a wonderful day out together. We’d taken long walks, eaten at a lovely wee café, and at night Craig had taken me to a deserted tourist car park and we’d made out and felt each other up like teenagers in the back of his car.

The memories killed me.

I tried not to wince. “What are you doing?” I was angry at the invasion of my privacy—especially considering there were some photos on that iPad of the two of us kissing in bed together—but mostly I felt panic.

Darcy looked confused and hurt. “Is this Craig?”

My panic increased. “How do you know that?”

“Because we have mutual friends back in Edinburgh who, unlike my sister, were willing to tell me what the hell you’ve been up to these last few months.”

“Darcy—”

“Why didn’t you tell me about him?” She shook the iPad at me. “I’ve been worrying since you got here about why you were so fucking sad, hoping that it was just homesickness and that you’d get over it. But it was more than that. I could tell. So I called back home. Lucy said she barely heard from you the last few months you were in Scotland. She said you met some bartender called Craig and then fell off the radar.”

Weary, I slumped down in my computer chair. The flat didn’t have a third room I could use as an office so my bedroom was it. “His name is Craig Lanaghan.”

“And why don’t I know about him?”

Guilty at the hurt look on her face, I sighed. “You were in a bad place and I didn’t want to gloat about my new relationship.”

Her face flushed with anger. “Okay. Fine. How about telling me about him now? Now that you know I’m not in a bad place and have a wonderful man in my life?”

And so I did. I told her everything. About my plans for Angus and how it led me to Craig.

When I was finished, Darcy plopped back against my pillows, looking as exhausted as I felt. “I don’t even know where to start. Your misplaced need to avenge me or you leaving behind the man you love for me.”

“You come first,” I said automatically. “I promised myself I’d never let you down again.”

Darcy’s eyes widened. “Dear God, Rain, is that what this about?”

Feeling tears burn my eyes, I shook my head and looked at the floor. “I just didn’t want to lose you. And I would miss you too much if we were on the opposite sides of the world.”

“And what about him?”

I looked up and she was pointing at the picture again.

“I’ve never seen you like this,” she said, her voice filled with concern. “You love him. You miss him.”

“I’d miss you too.”

“But it’s different.” She shook her head. “Nothing will ever come between us. Nothing. Not a twenty-four-hour plane ride or an eleven-hour time difference. Nothing.” She held out her arm and turned it so I could see her tattoo.

DARRAIGN.

It was tattooed on her right arm.

“Rain. I know you will always truly have my back, and I don’t need you here in person, throwing your life into upheaval, to prove it. You need to be in the same fucking country as the man you love.”

I gave a huff of sad laughter. “We made a clean break. I’m here now. I just need to move on.”

“No.” Darcy got up off the bed and strode toward me. She lowered to her haunches, staring me straight in the eye. “You need to go home to Craig Lanaghan.”