Текст книги "On Dublin Street"
Автор книги: Samantha Young
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Текущая страница: 14 (всего у книги 19 страниц)
~18~
I would be sticking my head in the sand if I didn’t say things changed between me and Braden after that night. We grew closer. Sharing looks and understanding what they meant kind of closer. And we spent a lot more time together. I decided not to think about the future. Right then I was having amazing sex with a great guy who also happened to be a friend. I didn’t want tomorrow. I knew what was waiting for me in tomorrow, and what was waiting was an inevitable mess. Everything was a lot nicer in the present.
Saturday rolled around before I knew it, and it was Braden’s guest DJ night at Fire to kick off the first week of university starting up. I wasn’t particularly looking forward to crowds of freshman, but neither was Braden and he had to be there in show of respect to this famous DJ I had never heard of, so Ellie, Adam and I were doing him a favor. I made the mistake of going shopping with Ellie and Hannah that afternoon for a dress, and allowed myself to be talked into buying a mini-dress. I had never owned a mini-dress. It was simple, turquoise blue, had a high neck, was backless to just below my waist, and the hem sat a good few inches above my knees—definitely shorter than I’d ever worn in public before.
Okay, so there were those green and white striped shorts, but a short dress was definitely more risqué.
I piled my hair up on top of my head, wore my make-up a little heavier since I let Ellie do it, and put on a pair of ankle-strap, suede wedges the same color as the dress. Ellie was, as per usual, stunning in a gold shift dress and spaghetti strap sandals.
We were meeting Braden at the club, which was probably a good thing since he took one look at me upon my arrival and scowled. The four of us were standing in his office, the music from the club pounding all around us. My hands flew to my hips at his expression. “What?” I snapped.
His eyes travelled the length of me and returned with a glitter of danger in them. “What the hell are you wearing?”
I narrowed my eyes. “What the hell is your problem?”
Ellie cleared her throat. “I think she looks nice.”
Braden cut her a warning look.
Hurt by his response to what I thought was a pretty hot dress, I shrugged like I didn’t care. “Let’s get a drink.” I spun on my heel and took satisfaction in the sound of Braden inhaling sharply. He’d caught a look at the back of the dress.
I heard footsteps following me out as I wound my way through the fairly quiet club. We were early and people were just starting to show. Fire’s main floor space was huge and split on two levels. Four long curving steps separated the bar and a small dance floor, with sofas and tables around it, from a huge floor space. Black walls with twinkle lights surrounded the upper level and down on the main space, the edges of the room were broken up with paper flames that were lit up from the back. A huge modern chandelier molded into flickering flames hung from the ceiling and added drama to what was otherwise an understated club. Customers came into the club from the level below where one staircase led them up here, and another led them downstairs to two more levels. The first level hosted a smaller lounge and dance floor, and the basement level hosted a cocktail bar.
I didn’t even make it to the stairs that would lead me up to the bar when I was tugged back against Braden’s chest. His hand slid down my waist and gripped my hip tight as he bent to murmur in my ear, “You look good enough to eat, that’s my problem.”
I tilted my head back to look up at him, feeling stupid that I hadn’t realized he was having a caveman moment. “Oh.” I grinned now, a little smugness creeping into it. “Well good thing you’re the only one who’s getting under this dress, huh.”
He smiled predatorily, clearly only somewhat appeased, but he nodded, giving me that one. “Fair enough. Go join Ellie and Adam at the table I reserved for you. I’ll have drinks sent over.”
“Where are you going?”
“I have guests arriving, including local media. Have to be seen for a bit. I’ll be over soon.”
I nodded and turned around, making my way over to Ellie and Adam who looked like they were having a pretty heated conversation. I was about to spin around to be elsewhere when Adam looked up and slid purposefully away from Ellie, his eyes telling me to sit my ass down. I threw him a ‘you’re an idiot’ look and sat down on Ellie’s other side. “Braden’s having drinks sent over. I didn’t realize he’d invited other people. I thought it was just us.”
“No.” Ellie pursed her lips, clearly in a bad mood now. “Some of his ex’s as well as his previous ‘friends with benefits’ girls love clubbing. He invited them and a few of his guy friends.”
She might as well have just punched me. I stiffened, stunned that Braden had invited ex-girlfriends tonight. And he had previous friends with benefiters? He’d told me he’d never done that before.
“Ellie.” Adam shot her a reproachful look. “What are you playing at?”
Confused, she shook her head at him and he nodded towards me. Ellie turned to look at me and whatever she saw there made her pale. “Oh, crap, Joss, I didn’t mean anything. I mean, those girls don’t mean anything…”
“Let’s get drunk,” I announced.
Adam eyed me carefully. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Let’s just wait for Braden.”
But waiting for Braden turned into a longer plan than we could stand. For a while I watched through the dim light of the club as it filled to the brim, and witnessed girl after girl standing flirting with him as he grinned back at them like an idiot, piling on their drinks.
Unused to the sharp spike of jealousy I was feeling, I shrugged on super cool pre-Dublin Street Jocelyn, and headed out onto the dance floor. Ellie was with me for a while and Braden stopped by to see how we were. I waved him off with a brittle smile and before he could question it, he was pulled away by another ‘guest’. Then Ellie was gone and I searched the crowds for her only to spy her at the bar, eyeballing Adam who was flirting with some girl I didn’t recognize. Men. I shook my head angrily. Assholes.
Maybe I was a little drunk.
I was just about to go to the bar and ask for water when I felt a cool hand on my bare back. I turned, surprised to find Gavin, the personal trainer, smiling down at me.
“Joss.” He grinned, still touching me. “It’s nice to see you again.”
I’ll admit that the huge smile I gave him was more about being pissed off at Braden for getting me to take the night off work and then ignoring me for most of it. “Gavin, hey.”
He whistled as he drew his gaze down my body and I noted the slight sway of his own. He was definitely drunk. “You look stunning.”
I smiled again. “Thank you.”
“What are you doing here tonight?”
“Uh… I know the owner.”
His eyes narrowed and he nodded slowly. “I see.”
“What about you?”
“Well, I’m here to dance. With you.”
I laughed out right. “Oh, smooth.”
“I do try. Why do-”
SMACK!
Gavin’s hand was ripped away from my body and I watched in horror as he crumpled to the floor, blood trickling down his nose. I glanced up at Braden who was shaking out his already swelling fist, his chest heaving with fury as he glared down at Gavin. The crowd had parted around us, watching, and I felt Adam and Ellie sidle up to us. “What the hell was that?” I choked out, loud enough to be heard over the music that had incidentally been turned down a notch when the crowed ooohed at Braden’s punch.
Braden shot me a dirty look. “That is Gavin. The friend who fucked Analise. Why the hell were you talking to him like you know him?”
My mouth fell open as I turned to look at the personal trainer, watching as he got back on his feet. Shock and disgust warred within me. “He’s a trainer at my gym. He helped me once.” I glanced back up at Braden. “I swear I didn’t know.”
Gavin snorted and we looked back at him. He was swiping the blood from his nose and grinning at Braden. “Looks like you moved onto better things, Bray.” His eyes scanned me now, sleazy and probing. “Here’s hoping history repeats itself, because I’ve wanted between her legs for fucking weeks. How about it, Joss? You fancy shagging a real man?”
Braden was like lightning. One minute he was at my side and the next he had Gavin on the floor, his fist pounding into him again and again. Adam darted past me and started to pull him off, the security appearing through the crowds to pick up a bloodied Gavin and hold him back.
Adam held tight to Braden as the two faced off. Braden pointed threateningly at Gavin. “You stay the fuck away from her,” he snarled.
Gavin wiped at his face again, wincing. “Christ, you never hit me when I banged your old lady, Bray. Tease you about your latest skank and I’m down in seconds. Is her pussy made of gold or something?”
Braden growled and lunged for him again, and one of the bartenders helped Adam to hold him back. “Get him out of here,” Adam ordered the security and then his eyes narrowed on Gavin. “I see you out on the street, I’ll knock your teeth through the back of your skull.”
At Adam’s threat Gavin made a face and let the security manhandle him out of the club.
I stared wide-eyed at Braden, not really even registering Gavin’s horrible words. Braden had hit someone. Over me? After just telling me he’d never hit anyone since he was nineteen, he’d hit someone. Over me. Or was it about his ex-wife?
I struggled to process it, the blood still whooshing in my ears.
Braden jerked Adam’s hands off him.
“You alright, bud?” Adam asked him.
Instead of answering, Braden’s eyes slid to me. His arm shot out and he grabbed my wrist, pulling me as he spun around and started making his way towards his office. I shot a wide-eyed look over my shoulder at a worried Ellie, but didn’t stop the momentum for fear I’d go over on my ankle.
I was hauled into the office with a sharp tug and I tottered up against Braden’s ‘nice and big’ office desk as the door crashed shut behind us. Very deliberately, Braden turned the lock.
I waited, unnerved by this fire-breathing, scary caveman-on-crack, version of Braden as he strode menacingly towards me. “First, you wear that dress so every man in this club wants to screw you. Then you start flirting with the man who fucking betrayed me,” he hissed into my face.
I pushed against his chest to no avail, my own anger rising. “Hey!” I retorted. “One: back off the dress. I like it, so suck it up. And two: I didn’t even know who he was!”
If it was even possible his face got a whole lot cloudier. I shivered, trying to step back, but the desk was in my way. “And yet you were still flirting with him!”
He’d never yelled at me before, and I flinched back, intimidated and pissed off in equal measure. I shoved harder at his chest, but he only pressed into my hands like a damn cement block. “Me?” I huffed incredulously. “You ask me to take the night off for this, and then I find out you’ve invited all your previous fuck buddies and girlfriends, and you spend the entire night flirting your ass off with more than one of them! What is this, Braden?” I felt the anger dissolve into hurt and with it my voice grew quieter, “Is this me getting laid off early?”
I watched some of the fury melt from his expression, his hands coming up to grip my hips tight to his. My breath stuttered at the feel of his erection rubbing against me, but I wasn’t surprised. There was something electric between us, and it was really confusing being this angry and this turned on all at the same time. “Babe, that wasn’t anything out there,” his voice was low, his head bending towards mine. “I wanted a big take tonight, and a lot of those girls like to party and have a lot of friends who like to party. That’s all it was.”
“And the flirting?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t even realize. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
I scoffed, needing to hold onto a little bit of dignity. “You didn’t hurt me. I can’t be hurt by you.”
At my scathing tone, Braden’s mouth hardened—the anger was back. I found myself pushed roughly against the desk as Braden grasped the back of my thighs and lifted my legs, pressing in between them as he shoved the hem of my dress up to my waist. I clutched at him for balance, the desk cold against my backside. “Don’t fucking lie to me, Jocelyn.”
I tried to push at him, but he only pressed deeper, his right hand leaving my leg to unbutton his slacks. I was panting now. “I’m not lying.”
I felt his cock nudge against my sex as he leaned in to whisper in my ear. “You’re lying.” He kissed my neck.
Then he surprised me by taking a shaky breath. “I’m sorry for hurting you.”
I could only nod unsurely, feeling out of control of the entire situation.
“Babe.” He pulled back, his eyes blazing now with something I didn’t understand. “I hit him,” he said hoarsely and I suddenly realized the look was disbelief. “I hit him. Seeing him with you… I hit him.”
Because of me. I cupped his face in my hands, suddenly not afraid of him. “Don’t,” I whispered across his lips. “Don’t do that to yourself.”
He crushed my lips beneath his at the exact same time he tore my panties off, his tongue thrusting into my mouth hungrily as his cock thrust hungrily inside me. I gasped at the sudden invasion, arching my back as he gripped me high by the back of the thighs and pounded into me over and over, my cries of pleasure filling the office, his grunts muffled in my neck. “Jocelyn,” he growled, trying to bury deeper. “Lie back,” he demanded.
I did it instantly, falling back, the bare skin revealed by the dress pressed against the cool wood. At this angle, Braden lifted my legs higher, allowing him to slide in harder, deeper. I writhed on the desk, my lower body completely in Braden’s control. The torture was exquisite, and the orgasm tore through me in record time.
Braden wasn’t done. As I came down off my orgasm, I watched him watch me as he ground into me, chasing his own climax. I could feel another orgasm building. When Braden came, he threw his head back, his teeth gritted, the muscles in his neck straining as his hips jerked against me. The feel of him coming inside of me, the image of his face in release, was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen, and I cried out, my sex pulsing around his cock as I came again.
“Jesus.” Braden watched me, hunger in his eyes.
Finally, my muscles relaxed and I closed my eyes, trying to catch my breath.
He was still inside me when he apologized softly, “I was a dick tonight.”
“Yeah,” I murmured.
He squeezed my hip. “Am I forgiven?”
I opened my eyes and smiled, amused. “I already accepted the two orgasms as an apology.”
Braden didn’t laugh like he normally would. Instead he nudged his semi-hard cock a little further inside me until I could almost feel it kissing my womb, and he muttered, “Mine.”
I blinked, not sure I heard right. “What?”
“Come on,” Braden sighed, pulling carefully out of me and tucking himself back into his pants. He gently eased me up off the table and grimaced as he picked up my torn panties.
“Now, I’m walking out of there in this dress without any underwear on, Caveman.” I grinned saucily.
Braden closed his eyes at the thought. “Fuck.”
~19~
The next few months were a blur of Braden. After the night at Fire he was still pretty raw about the whole Gavin thing, but I did my best to convince him the guy deserved to be punched, but more importantly that losing his temper in that moment did not a make him a bad guy. I discovered more from Adam about Gavin. Apparently they’d all been friends since elementary, but as they’d gotten older Gavin had turned into a bit of an asshole. He was sly, sometimes caustic, horrible to women, a shit-stirrer as Adam called it, and a liar. Braden had had this stubborn sense of loyalty to him because they’d been friends for so long. That was until the guy had screwed his wife. As I reiterated all these things to Braden, I think I finally got through, and a few weeks later I watched the grim contemplation gradually disappear from him.
Of course I cancelled my gym membership and Braden persuaded me to join his gym where I discovered that part of the reason he had those sexy broad shoulders and narrow hips was because he swam after every workout. Somehow, more often than not, I ended up working out with him and taking that swim too. Somehow, in fact, we invaded one another’s lives almost completely. We took turns staying at each other’s apartment on weeknights whenever we could; we both were pretty content to just hang out watching TV, listening to music, but we also had fun throwing in restaurants and going to the movies, or grabbing a few drinks with friends. At least twice a month we had some kind of event that involved Braden’s work. I’d even ended up mentioned in an entertainment article for the local paper as Braden’s regular plus one and latest ‘woman’. I tried not to let it get to me.
Braden tried to make it to Club 39 on Fridays and Saturdays, and that meant Ellie and Adam and whoever else was with them that night, were there too. Braden told me he liked to watch me work, that it was sexy, but Ellie pronounced that he was marking his territory in front of my colleagues and customers.
All I knew was that he was with me as much as he could be and that meant he made he sure he was there a lot. And it didn’t bother me.
In fact, I missed him when he was gone. Our arrangement hadn’t turned out the way I’d expected it to at all—the arrangement actually kind of fell apart. And somewhere along the way, I’d stopped caring as long as it meant I could be with him without any scary questions about the future.
We were in my room, Braden was going over Adam’s drawings for a new development and they were spread out all over my bed. I was at my typewriter working on chapter fifteen of the novel, and I was happy with it so far. In all honesty, I was really excited about where it was going. The characters felt more real than any I’d written before, and I knew it was because they were based on my parents. I was staring at my notes, trying to work out if the line of dialogue I’d written in this scene was appropriate for my main character. The more I thought about it, it didn’t feel true to her and I was trying to think how to change it without changing the point she was attempting to make. I was so lost in thought I didn’t even realize Braden was watching me, so I jumped, startled when he spoke, my heart lodged in my throat at his words, “It’s Jenna and Ed’s wedding next week, and the end of the terms of our arrangement.”
I froze.
I already knew that. I’d been dreading him bringing it up.
***
“Why haven’t you brought it up?” Dr. Pritchard took a sip of water. “The three months are nearly up. Don’t you think you should discuss it?”
I tilted my head to the side. “Don’t you think I’ve come a long way in five months?”
“You’ve definitely opened up, Jocelyn. But I still think you haven’t fully dealt with your family’s passing. You still won’t talk about them.”
“I know you think that. But what I’m saying is that five months ago I had a best friend I knew nothing about and who knew nothing about me. I didn’t like getting involved too deeply in people’s lives, and I was determined to surround myself with casual acquaintances.” I grinned in relieved disbelief. “Ellie and Braden changed all that. Especially Braden. He’s…” I shook my head, still not able to really believe it was true, “He’s my best friend. Three months ago I was determined to just have sex and then end this thing. But he’s a part of me now. He’s in deeper than anyone else, and I have no idea what to expect from that or from the future. I don’t really want to think about it. However, I do know that I’m not ready to lose my best friend again.”
“You should discuss this with him, Joss. He needs to know this.”
I frowned, anxiety gripping me at the thought. “No. No, I’m not doing that. If he wants this to end, then fine, but if it ends, it’ll be easier if only I know the truth.”
Dr. Pritchard sighed. “Why? So you can bury that truth along with all the others?”
You’re such a buzz kill. “You’re such a buzz kill.”
She laughed. “Only because I don’t bury the truth.”
“Always have to have the last word, huh?”
***
I turned slowly to face him. “Yeah, it is.”
Braden pushed the paper off his lap and gave me his entire focus. “How do you feel about it?”
“How do you feel about it?”
His eyes narrowed. “I asked you first.”
I sighed, little ants of uncertainty swarming in my gut. “What are we, five?”
“Well are we?”
I stared into his stubborn eyes. “Braden,” I didn’t even mean for it to come out as a plea, but it did.
His obdurate expression seemed to reinforce itself. “I could answer this one easily, Jocelyn. We know out of the two of us who’s more open here. But I’m not going to. I want, for once, to know how you feel.”
“What do you mean for once,” I snapped. “You get more out of me than most people, buddy.”
He flashed me a quick, cocky, and far too attractive, grin. “I know, babe. Tonight I want more.”
I don’t think he realized it, but right then he’d made his play first. He wanted more. So with some confidence, I shrugged casually and turned back to my typewriter. “I don’t mind if we tear up the agreement.”
He was silent behind me and I waited. Finally, “What if I suggested we stopped pretending we’re fuck buddies too?”
A slow smile spread across my lips and I was thankful he couldn’t see it. “Yeah,” I answered with a good amount of boredom. “I could work with that.”
Did I mention Braden could move fast?
Papers went flying as he lunged across the bed to grab me by the waist and haul me off my chair onto the mattress. Startled, I laughed up at him as he pressed his body into mine. “When will you quit throwing me around like a ragdoll?”
His grin was unrepentant. “Never. You’re so tiny I do it without really meaning to half the time.”
“I am not tiny,” I replied indignantly. “I’m five foot five. There are tinier people, believe me.”
“Babe, I’m almost a whole foot taller than you. You’re tiny.” He bent his head to brush my lips with his. “But I like it.”
“What happened to your love of the long-legged bimbo?”
“It was replaced by my love for great tits, great sex and a smart mouth.” He kissed me deep, his tongue tangling with mine deliciously. Wrapping my arms around his neck I sank into the kiss like always, but for once my mind wasn’t just on the kiss…
In a roundabout way… had that been some kind of declaration of love?
I gasped at the thought, but luckily timed that gasp at the same time Braden stuck his hand down my pants, so he never realized I was freaking out.
***
I told myself that’s not at all what he’d meant, and I shrugged it off, just enjoying each day with him as they came. A few days later I was in the kitchen, taking a coffee break from the novel, when Ellie sauntered in. She was home today, grading papers.
She smiled slyly at me as she slid into the seat opposite me.
I quirked an eyebrow in suspicion. “What?”
“I just got off the phone with my big brother.”
“And?”
Ellie made a face. “He told me you’re going to the wedding together.”
“And?”
“Joss,” she threw a tea biscuit at me and I dodged it. “When were you going to tell me?”
I glanced down at the violent biscuit now littering our floor. “Tell you what exactly?”
“That the arrangement between you and Braden is over? It is right? You’re dating now?”
Dating? That word was a little ‘label-ly’. I refused to be labeled. “We are seeing each other.”
Ellie squealed and I flinched back. “Oh this is fantastic! I knew it, I knew it!”
“I wish I knew what you knew,” I replied in wide-eyed bemusement.
“Oh, come off it. I knew from the start Braden was acting differently about you.” She sighed with absolute contentment. “Life is good. It’ll be even better with a cup of tea.”
“You need to refill the kettle.” She nodded and headed over to it and as I watched her I thought about Adam. “Adam’s got a date. Are you taking one?”
Her shoulders stiffened a little as she carried the kettle to the sink. “I’m taking Nicholas.”
“Ooh that should be fun,” I murmured, thinking about the possible drama once Adam found that out.
A crash brought my head up as Ellie cursed, her face scrunched up. I rushed over to see she’d dropped the kettle in the sink and was clutching her right arm. “You okay?” I asked, confused as to what happened, but her face was pale.
She nodded, her lips pinched. “Just cramp in my hand from marking all those papers.”
“You dropped the kettle?” It wasn’t the first time she’d been working so damn hard her hand had cramped up. “You need to go easy and take more breaks. You work too hard.” Ellie looked so worried I felt my heart flip. “Els, are you okay?”
She gave me a wobbly smile. “Stressed.”
“Take a nap.” I rubbed her shoulder soothingly. “You’ll feel better.”
***
“Hey gorgeous.”
I spun around on my heels and I grinned at Braden standing all sexy in a black contemporary tux. He and Adam had decided to forgo wearing a traditional kilt since November in Scotland was ‘baltic’ as they said. “Hey handsome.”
“Did I tell you how much I like this dress?” He strolled in casually, his hands reaching for my hips to pull me close. “It’s a good dress.”
It was amethyst satin, figure hugging and showed a little cleavage and a little leg. It was a dress that teased and Braden enjoyed being teased. I pressed a familiar kiss just under his jaw, my favorite place to nibble. “We better go before we’re late. Is Ellie ready yet?”
“No. And I can’t sit out there alone with Nicholas.” Braden grimaced.
I wrinkled my nose. “That poor guy is so boring.”
Braden groaned and buried his face in my neck. “My sister needs her head checked,” he mumbled into my skin and I laughed silently, stroking his hair.
“Ellie will be fine.”
Braden pulled back, suddenly all bristling and growly. “He’s not good enough for her.”
I shrugged, picking up my clutch and coat. “I’m not good enough for you, but that hasn’t stopped you.”
He grabbed my hand tight, scowling at me. “What?”
“I’m ready!” Ellie bounced into my room in a designer white fifties-style dress with a pale yellow, chocolate and teal print. She had on a silk petticoat underneath and wore a white wool coat that cost more than my entire outfit. I smiled. She looked so pretty. “Joss, you look great. Taxi’s waiting.” She took my hand and dragged Braden and I out into the hall where the unfortunately monotonous Nicholas was waiting for us.
I was just glad I didn’t have to answer for that insanely stupid slip up back in the bedroom.
***
The entire wedding, ceremony and reception, was held at the Edinburgh Corn Exchange, an events venue that hosted everything from weddings to rock gigs. It was a pretty old building with Greek columns but it wasn’t spectacularly beautiful, neither were it surroundings. However the ceremony room was beautiful, and the reception was just breathtaking. Everything was white and silver with ice blue lights. It was a winter wonderland for a winter wedding.
Braden had wandered off to talk to Adam who’d spent most of the wedding so far ignoring his very pretty date and glaring at Nicholas. Why he was glaring at Nicholas when Ellie had left the poor guy to his own devices to flutter around everyone like the social butterfly she was, I had no idea. But if looks could kill…
I shook my head. He needed to get a clue already.
“Joss.”
I glanced up from sipping champagne to find Elodie standing over me. She and Clark were at the next table, and I glanced past her to see Clark in deep conversation with an older guy I didn’t know. Who was I kidding? I hardly knew anyone here. I smiled up at Elodie who looked gorgeous in sapphire blue. “Hey, how are you?”
She gave me a ‘you know how it is’ smile and slid into the empty seat next to me. By now, of course she’d cottoned onto the fact that Braden and I were seeing each other—especially because he wasn’t subtle about it and Declan had caught him kissing me in the kitchen at a Sunday Dinner weeks ago and the kid had said ‘ugh, yuck’ and proceeded to enlighten the entire family.
“Braden seems really happy.” Elodie grinned over at him across the room. I noted a pretty and very tall blonde had joined him and Adam, and tried not to narrow my eyes like a jealous tiger. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this happy.”
I felt an ache of warmth ripple across my chest, but I didn’t know what to say.
She looked back at me, her eyes kind but serious. “I think you’re a lovely girl, Joss. I do. But I also think you’re incredibly difficult to get to know. I don’t know why, but you have such a guard up, sweetheart. It’s high and nearly impenetrable.”
I felt the color drain from my face.
“I think of Braden as a son. A son I love very much. What Analise did to him broke my heart. He shouldn’t have to go through that again. Or worse.” She looked back at him and then back to me. “With you, I think it’ll be worse.”
“Elodie…” words failed me.
“If you don’t feel about him the way he feels about you, end it now, Joss. For his sake.” And then she stood, patted my shoulder in her mothering way, and headed back over to the husband that she adored.
“Babe, you okay?”
I glanced up, my heart still banging in my chest, to find Braden standing over me, his eyebrows creased with concern. I nodded, still speechless.
He didn’t look convinced. “Come on.” He took my hand and drew me to my feet. “Come dance with me.”
La Rocca Non-Believer was playing. It was a favorite of mine. “You dance?”
“Tonight I do.” I let him lead me onto the dance floor and I buried into him as he held me close. “Your heart is racing. Did Elodie say something to you?”
Just the truth. She was right. I should walk away. I breathed him in, not able to picture a moment without him in my life.
And so I was selfish. I snuggled closer. I couldn’t walk away. But if I hurt him? Oh God, the thought of hurting him ripped me apart. Ripped me so totally, that I knew, I cared more for him than I did for myself.
I was in deep.
I felt my breath hitch. Reading the change in me, Braden squeezed me closer and murmured, “Breath, babe,” in my ear. I wasn’t having a panic attack, just a freak out, but I didn’t say anything, enjoying the calm as he stroked my back soothingly.
