Текст книги "Ravage Me"
Автор книги: Ryan Michele
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Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 15 страниц)
Chapter 12—Harlow
Watching Cruz’s fine ass walk across the room, my body hummed. I loved this man. I loved his loyalty. I loved his honor with the club. I loved how he was such a wonderful dad. I loved how he loved me.
Cruz opened the top drawer of his dresser, pulling out a black leather rag. My heart began pounding in my chest, and it felt hard to breathe. This was it. The one thing I said I’d never do, and now it’s the one thing that I want more than anything.
As he walked back to the bed, I sat up, letting the sheet fall down exposing myself to him. “I had this made for you. Been waiting for you to say it, and since you did, I want you to wear it.”
I tried to hold back the tears, but my vision was becoming blurry. In my world, this was the same as a wedding proposal. This was everything. Cruz held up the vest turning it around to the back. I couldn’t stop the tear that rolled down my cheek as I quickly batted it away.
The back had the top rocker with Ravage written on it, and below that was a large patch that said ‘Property of Cruz.’ I knew that once I put this rag on; I would need to keep myself in order, not letting any of my actions reflect badly on Cruz. I’d been doing my best this last week, but now best wasn’t good enough. I’d need to do better.
Looking up into Cruz’s eyes, I felt the love pouring out of them. “I’d love to,” I said quietly.
“Turn around, Baby.” As I did, I felt the cool leather touch the skin on my back sending tingles throughout my body. Moving my arm out, he placed the rag up one arm and then the other, wrapping it around my body like a glove. “Stand up. Let me see.”
Moving off the bed, I stood in front of him naked, except for the rag, as I slowly turned around giving him a wonderful view of every part of me. “Damn, Baby,” he growled, turning my insides to liquid.
Cruz didn’t give me time to think as he grabbed my ass, hoisting me up in the air, my legs instinctively wrapping around him. Cruz slipped one arm and then the other underneath my knees opening me up to him. As his dick slid inside, he began pumping into me like a piston of an engine as it revved up. Before I could get my bearings, I came hard, but Cruz wasn’t done. His hips continued pushing as I set off again.
I felt my grasp on his neck beginning to break, so I clutched him much tighter. Over and over, he kept sending me into oblivion. When he released inside of me, I held onto him for dear life, never wanting to let this man go.
My entire body was like Jell-O as he laid me down on the bed. I didn’t think I’d be able to move again. Cruz looked down at me lying on my back with his vest on my body. I could feel the pride coming off of him, and I knew I’d never want to disappoint him. I couldn’t. Yawning, my eyes began to droop. “Baby, take a nap, and then me and you are going for a ride.”
I nodded as I curled into a ball, falling into a fast, sated sleep.
* * *
Walking into the main part of the clubhouse, I felt like all eyes were on me, well… because they were. Cruz had his arm wrapped around my shoulders leading me through. When the whistles and hollers began, I felt the blush creep into my cheeks, not from embarrassment, but from happiness. No one at that moment could wipe the smile plastered across my face off.
“Let’s see!” Zed’s ol’ lady, Legs, came up to me grinning. As I turned slowly, the noises behind me got louder. “It’s beautiful, girl. I’m so happy for you.”
Turning back around, I wrapped Legs in my arms, hugging her tightly. “Thank you.” Legs got her name because she’s barely five foot tall, a short little thing. That’s how names work around here. Names come about depending on the person. You’re short we name you, Legs. You laugh a lot and are the life of the party; they name you Bubbles.
She pulled away. “We’re going to Bimbo’s tonight. You guys wanna come?” I stood there shocked. I’d never been invited out with them before. Being the club’s kid, I didn’t do those things. Parties, yes, but actually going out with the brothers and sisters? That was new… and thrilling.
“I need to talk to Cruz first.” She smiled knowingly. Bubbles, Becs’ ol’ lady, and Flash, Dagger’s ol’ lady, came up and hugged me, as well. All of these women I’ve known most of my life, but this was different. It was a different kind of hug. This was a sister’s hug.
“Of course. We’re going around eight.” Nodding, I walked over to Cruz. He smiled down at me, wrapping his arm around me as he pulled me tight into his chest, and he kissed me on the top of my head.
“They invited us to Bimbo’s tonight if you want to go,” I said into his chest smelling the leather and smoke.
“Sure, Babe. Come on, we got some place to be.”
Excitement flooded through me. This would be the first time I rode as Cruz’s ol’ lady.
As the wind whipped all around us, I enjoyed having my arms wrapped around Cruz. Between the smell of him and the rumble between my thighs, I was getting way too turned on.
Being on the back of someone’s bike was something I was still getting used to. After an hour and a half of riding, we stopped to eat and climbed right back on. We were lucky that Ma said she’d watch Cooper all night, so we were really free for a while. But my mind kept reverting to the shit going down in my life, and every time I closed my eyes, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen.
As we pulled into a park, Cruz killed the bike. Climbing off, we moved over to the picnic benches as I laid my head on his shoulder. “Everything okay, Babe?”
“Sorry. My mind just keeps running. I try to turn it off, but it doesn’t help.”
He wrapped his arm around me as squeezed me tightly to him. “We’ll get it all figured out.”
“What about Mel?” Cruz’s body stiffened at the name, but I didn’t say a word. “She hasn’t signed yet. She can’t have my boy.”
“I was giving her the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know why, but I was. Now…” He trailed off squeezing me as he kissed the top of my head. “I’ll take care of it.”
“What about Babs?”
“That’s club business, Babe.” I nodded, knowing there was no more he could say. I respected that even though I wanted to know.
“I’d like to go back to Studio X full time again. You okay with that?” Asking him wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. It just came natural.
“Yeah, Baby. You have to have a Prospect with you all the time, though.” I smiled.
“Becs is there a lot.” He stiffened. “It’s okay, Baby. I know you’re just looking out for me. I smoothed it over with Liv. But having him there will help. I’d just need someone to ride with me to and from.”
“Have one of the Prospects.” Nodding, I relaxed into him. I hoped that going back to the studio would allow me to get my mind off of things. Maybe if I did that, I’d be able to see a clearer connection with all of this. “What about Cooper?” he asked.
“I’ll see if Ma can watch him at the shop, and more than likely I won’t be going in till noon, so I’ll be with him until then.”
“I’ll be around a bit, too. We’ve got some runs coming up that will take me away for three or four days at a time, but I’ll do my best.”
“It’s hard being a 24/7 dad, huh?” I said, nudging.
“I didn’t know what to expect. I just always thought he’d be better with Mel. She’s supposed to love him and take care of him. But over the last year, it’s been going downhill.” He held his head down.
“When did you find out she was hitting him?” I wasn’t sure I wanted the answer to that question, but it just fell out of my mouth. Part of me needed to know.
“A few weeks before you got out, I noticed something was up, but didn’t put my finger on it until about a week before you got out. Then when I saw her grab Coop in the clubhouse, I knew she couldn’t be around him anymore.”
“And having me around helped?”
“Of course. It just showed me the mom that Coop needed.” He squeezed tightly.
My heart warmed, not only that Cruz thought I could be the mom that Coop needed but at the prospect of being that person in Coop’s life. I’d never really thought of being a mom. I wasn’t the type to plan out my future or have these expectations. As far as I was concerned, a quick lay, my studio, and the club was all I needed. It’s a bit mind-boggling how much my life has changed.
I go from prison and alone to an ol’ man and a kid in a short period of time, and I wouldn’t change a damn thing.
“You sure you wanna go tonight?”
“Absolutely. It’ll be good for you to get to know the ol’ ladies.”
“You know I’ve known Legs, Bubbles, and Flash for a long time, but this just feels different.”
“It’s cause you’re an ol’ lady, now. It’ll be fine.”
I smiled up at him as he leaned down, kissing me on the lips. I pulled his head tightly against mine, kissing him with everything I had. Before I knew what I was doing, I was straddling him on the picnic table, rocking my body up and down on his hard cock. “The ride get you all worked up, Baby?” he asked against my lips.
“What’d you think?” My hips had a mind of their own as they thrust and thrust. I was so close to coming.
“Take your pants off,” he barked roughly.
Looking around, I had a moment of panic. Here we were out in public for anyone to drive by and see us. My body froze.
“I’m not telling you again. Take them off.” I stared at him feeling my inner thoughts suffocating me. I wanted to make him happy, and I wanted to fuck him. Fuck it.
Hopping off of him, I stripped out of my leathers and boots. Standing before him, the hunger in his eyes took my breath away. He slowly stood enough to unzip his pants and pull his hard cock out. Licking my lips, I wanted him. The sun was bouncing off our skin making the flush I already felt ten times hotter.
“Get up here and ride me baby,” he said pulling my body to him. Not thinking twice, I climbed on, sinking him inside of me in one deep push. Up and down, I rode him as hard as I could in the position we were in. The table bumped my leg repeatedly, but I didn’t utter a single complaint.
Reaching down, I cupped Cruz’s face pulling him to me as I kissed him hard. He broke off the kiss, and I really started my movements using my legs to squat up and down quickly.
Throwing my head back, I felt the waves wanting to wash over me. I couldn’t hold back. I needed to come. “You there, Baby?” I asked him.
“Since when do you ask me that?”
“I just wanna come with you Baby,” I said, grabbing onto his shoulders for more stability.
“Faster,” he growled. Doing as he says, I felt his dick growing more inside of me. I knew it was coming, and I was there ready for him. “Now.” We came together, rasping each other’s names.
With Cruz still fully seated inside me, we tried to catch our breath. With the sun beating down on my naked ass, it pulled me back to the reality of where we were. My head darted up scanning the park. “Relax, Babe.” Pulling out, he smirked. “Get dressed.”
Rushing, I threw my leathers and boots back on, and fixed my braid. Relaxed now, I was ready to ride.
* * *
Pulling up to Bimbo’s bar, I couldn’t help a slight nervous flutter in my stomach. This would be my first test as an ol’ lady. Could I keep my temper in check? Could I fit in with these women who have been doing this for years? Could I be a good ol’ lady?
I wanted to. I really wanted to and make Cruz happy.
Walking into the bar, all eyes were on us. I felt them, but kept ahold of Cruz’s hand, following behind him closely. I knew I could defend myself, but this was different. I knew all eyes were on me because I was his ol’ lady.
Cruz led us right over to Zed, Legs, Becs, Bubbles, Dagger, and Flash, who were all sitting around a large table drinking and laughing. As soon as we approached, every single person stood, each one hugging and kissing our cheeks one at a time. The hugs from the women were tight and ultimately warm. The hugs and kisses from the guys were also warm, but each of them whispered in my ear.
Zed, “So glad you’re here.” Becs, “About time you became a patched sister.” Dagger, “You must be what Cruz has been waiting for.” It made me want to cry my eyes out, but I refrained.
After sitting, the waitress came by taking drink orders. I knew I’d only have one or two because there was no way I’d risk being drunk on the back of Cruz’s bike. It’s hard enough driving with another person on the back of your ride, add a drunk woman who’s isn’t thinking straight… not a good combination. Not only that, it would embarrass the shit out of him and me.
Having Cruz next to me, his arm wrapped around the back of my chair with his brothers and sisters was exhilarating. I guessed this was what happiness felt like.
“Brothers, let’s walk,” Zed said, lifting his chin, leaving me with the three other ol’ ladies. Looking around at the table seeing the women I’ve known my whole life, I couldn’t help but see them in a different light. They were my Ma’s friends. Now they are mine, my sisters. Considering I have no sisters and Casey was never around anymore and doesn’t answer my phone calls, I was excited and nervous all wrapped into one.
Legs smiled, patting my hand, “Hey, girl. You doing okay?”
“Yeah, why?”
“You seem off. Not yourself.”
Blowing out a deep breath, “It’s just I’ve known you all my whole life, and this is… different.”
“It’s nothing for you to be scared or nervous about. You’ll just get to see us. Not the moms who run after their kids, but the real us. I think you’ll like what ya see.” Legs laughed, the others following suit.
“I know I’ll like you, I just don’t know if you’ll like me.”
“Oh nonsense, girl.” Bubbles spoke. “We love that you’re feisty and speak your mind. You do that with us, just not with the brothers.” She winked. Now that I’m an ol’ lady, I knew that my mouth was a direct reflection of Cruz, and I’d need to keep myself together.
“We’re all a bit crazy in our own ways. You’ll learn soon enough, Princess,” Flash said, pushing her long blonde hair to her back. Her green eyes were covered in a smoky eye shadow, making them pop in a very sultry way.
“Shots!” Bubbles yelled.
“Thanks, girls. But I’m taking it easy.” I’d gotten drunk many times in front of these women, but always at the clubhouse where I could crash in Pops’ room, never in public.
“Hell no! You drink. This is a celebration.” The waitress placed a shot down for each of us. “To our new, patched sister!” They raised their glasses as I followed their lead. Downing the liquid, I could feel the burn all the way down, and after about the fifth shot, I was feeling pretty damn good and loosening up.
My stomach actually hurt from laughing so much with these women, and they were right. This was an entirely different side of them, and one that I really really liked. All my nerves and worries melted away as the night went on. These women treated me like, well, one of them. They didn’t handle me with kid gloves or hold back; that’s what made me fall in love with them for a second time in an entirely different way.
We watched the men shooting pool and doing whatever it was they were doing. Every once in a while, I’d get a chin lift from Cruz, just letting me know he saw me. The night was going better than I could have hoped.
These women were fun. They were more fun than I’d had in a long time, and that included my time before prison. It was actually remarkable that not one of them asked me about it. Part of me thought it would be the topic of conversation with them, the idiot who got set up by some bitch. Not one made fun of me in any way, though, and that, totally put me at ease. I’m sure they’ll ask at some point, but not tonight, and I could kiss each one of them for it.
“Heads up, ladies,” Legs said, looking at the men across the room. My eyes shot in that direction while three young women, wearing barely any clothes, approached our men. Two of them were smart; they actually walked away when Becs and Dagger turned them down. The third wasn’t as smart. I watched before my very eyes as Cruz nodded his head the direction she came, my guess, asking her to go. But the dumb bitch didn’t get the hint. Her hands began roaming his arm as he stepped out of her grasp.
Fury boiled inside of me. I wanted to cut this bitch up.
“Let’s go,” Flash said quickly. But I was a bit apprehensive. I knew that if I went up there, I’d be beating the shit out of this bitch, and I didn’t want to embarrass my brothers or sisters.
Flash saw my apprehension. “You let that bitch keep pawing your man, it will happen every fucking time you come here. It’s your job to end it.” With her encouraging words, I knew what needed to be done. Sliding out of my chair, we walked towards them. My fists clenched so hard my nails dug into my palm. I was gonna try to be civil first.
“Excuse me,” I said, tapping the woman on the shoulder. She turned around scowling at me.
“What?” she barked as I brought my hands in front of me, holding them together… or more like holding them, so I didn’t punch the living shit out of her.
“You need to back off.” She eyed me up and down looking at the leather on my body, but not deterred. She even glanced at the women standing behind me, and it didn’t faze her. Stupid bitch.
“Fuck off,” she said as she turned back around, her hand going directly to Cruz’s arm. Looking up in his eyes, I tried to make him see the fiery rage that was burning inside of me. With a lift of his chin, I grabbed the bitch by the back of her hair, pulling her far away from Cruz. My sisters formed a circle around me, but stood back letting me have the control.
“Fuck off, huh, bitch?” I threw her down on the floor as she fell with a crash in those stupid heels. “Stand up!” I yelled. She got to her feet with a wobble.
“What the fuck is your problem?” she barked.
“You wanna know what my problem is? You’re touching my ol’ man. He told you to get the fuck off… and your dumbass didn’t listen. Then I asked you the same thing, and you didn’t listen. So now this…” I swung, my fist connecting with her pretty little face, sending blood flying.
“You bitch.” God, this woman, clearly fell off the stupid wagon.
Picking up my leg, I kicked her directly in the stomach, then took my right hand and pummeled her face twice, being sure the cut was nice and big. “Bitch, huh? No, I’m his ol’ lady, and this shit don’t fly with me.” After two more punches, I felt a strong hand on my shoulder. I could feel Cruz’s body become flush against mine. I stood there watching the idiot crawl over to her friends, chicken shits that never helped her once. At least I knew my sisters had my back.
“Let me see your hands,” Cruz said as I turned to face him, not knowing if he’d be pissed I caused a huge scene. His smile made my knees week. The pride in his eyes was so bright for me. I held up my hands as he touched them gently. Without them being taped up, they took a good hit. I had several scrapes and blood, and of course, the bruising, but nothing that wouldn’t heal.
Cruz let my hands go after inspecting them as his lips came down hard on mine. My arms instantly wrapped around his neck, pulling him tightly to me. As he pulled away, he whispered, “Thanks, Babe.” Then he smiled in his sexy way. “Let’s get you a drink, Slugger.”
Rolling my eyes, I followed him back to the table as he ordered me a shot of Jack.
“Damn, girl,” Legs said, sitting down. “Your Ma always said you could fight, but I’ve never seen you in action. Damn, you kicked ass.”
Smiling, I felt the burn of the liquor slide down my throat.
* * *
The night turned out to be a huge hit. And even though I was a bit tipsy, Cruz proved he could handle my ass just fine on the back of his bike. Another one of my worries smashed to smithereens.
Pulling up to the clubhouse, people were floating all around, which surprised me considering we were out with four of the brothers. Guess the others decided to have a party. Women were in abundance throughout the club, most of whom were eyeing Cruz like he was their next target. I felt the daggers darting out of my eyes at each one, making them turn away from my man.
Cruz never once let go of my hand, except when he hugged the brothers from the Davis chapter as he walked by them. I felt completely out of place here, for some reason.
As Cruz moved us to his room, he locked the door behind him. “You stay in here with the door locked. I’m gonna go get Cooper and bring him in.” I nodded my head as he left the room.
Stripping out of my clothes and putting my tight yoga pants and an ‘I Support the Ravage MC’ t-shirt on, I grabbed a bottle of water out of Cruz’s small fridge. Downing the bottle quickly, I went in search of some medicine to kick the headache forming in my head.
When the door opened, Cooper came flying in the room right into my arms. “I thought you’d be asleep, Buddy.”
“Ma watched movies.”
“Ahh… and she let you stay up, huh?” Coop nodded his head.
“I gotta go, Babe. Stay in here with the door locked. Be back in a bit.” With a peck on the lips and a ruffle of Coop’s hair, he left us.
“Wanna snuggle up with me, Buddy?” My eyes were beginning to droop. It’d been a long day, and if I couldn’t cuddle up with Cruz, I had the other man in my life.
“Mommy. I hungry,” Coop said, rubbing his tummy.
“We’ll sleep, and then we’ll have breakfast in the morning.”
“No… Mommy… my tummy’s making noise.” I smiled at the way he explained his feelings.
“Grumbling, Buddy. Your tummy is grumbling.” Walking over to the small shelf where we kept a few snack foods, I began naming things off to him, but he wanted none of them. “Then what do you want?”
“Peanut bubber and dwelly.” He smiled excitedly.
“I don’t have any, Buddy. Let’s pick something else.”
Cooper began crying, hard. Panic flooded me as I tried to figure out what to do. We haven’t really had moments yet where I told him no, or he couldn’t have something. We’ve been just learning together as we go. I’m guessing this was the first taste.
“Come here, Buddy.”
“No… me want peanut bubber!” he yelled in my face.
“All right… all right. I’ll go to the kitchen and get you one. Sit here and watch that rabbit show you like. I’ll be right back.”
Exiting the room and locking it, I instantly felt that I was doing something wrong, and I should turn around, but looking back at the door, I knew there was a little boy on the other side of it that I needed to take care of.
Pulling myself together, I threw my shoulders back walking past the main room and into the kitchen. I quickly made Cooper’s sandwich, grabbing some chips and a soda for myself. Picking everything up from the counter, I screamed when a hand came and rested around my waist.
“Stop,” I said after the shock wore off.
“Why would I do that?” a deep voice I didn’t recognize said.
“Because I’m Cruz’s ol’ lady,” I said with force as I turned to face a man I’d never met before. He must have been a new patch member since going in the joint.
“Ol’ ladies aren’t here tonight, and you don’t have his patch,” he said, moving his hand up my body to my tits groping them. I moved out of his grasp flying to the other side of the room.
“I am his ol’ lady. I’m on lockdown here. I had to get my boy something to eat,” I said, quickly seeing the patches on the man’s rag. He was a full-out member. Shit.
“Bitch. You need to stop spreading lies about my brother.” His voice became angry as he stepped close to me. “You know what we do with dirty whores who lie around here.”
“I’m not lying. Go get him. He’ll tell you,” I pleaded, not knowing what was going to happen, and knowing that since he was a fully patched member, I’d needed to keep myself together.
“Bitch. Don’t fucking tell me what to do. Who the hell do you think you are?” The back of his hand came across my cheek hard, but I didn’t move. I stood there looking him straight in the eye.
“I’m Cruz’s ol’ lady,” I said, deadpanned.
“Yeah, we’ll see. I’ll call him in here, and when he tells me youre full of fucking shit, we’re gonna take turns fucking every single hole of your body.”
It took every bit of my strength not to rip his balls off and feed them to him. I wanted to punch, kick, and kill this fucker in front of me. But at the sound of hearing he was going to get Cruz, I was relieved.
“Don’t fucking move,” he barked at me, and I didn’t move a muscle.
“Princess!” Cruz’s voice boomed in the room. I turned to the voice, feeling relieved. “What the fuck are you doing out here? And without your fucking rag?” he growled at me angrily.
I stood there, stunned, my stomach sinking to the floor. I didn’t even think of putting the rag on. I just thought of getting my boy some food.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“Sorry? I told you to stay in my fucking room!” he bellowed as the other man came in, crossing his arms over his chest.
“This one yours?” he asked Cruz.
“Yeah. My ol’ lady.”
“Shit brother. That’s Princess? I didn’t know. She didn’t have your patch on.”
“No, she doesn’t. Can you leave us, bro?” Suddenly I felt like I wanted the psycho in the same room with us, so Cruz didn’t kill me where I stood.
I’d never once felt scared with Cruz, but I was feeling it now. I thought I should explain. “Cooper wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I just came to get him one.”
“I told you to keep your ass in that room. And then you come out without your rag on. That means your fair game to all the brothers. You want that? You want them all to take turns fucking you?”
“No.”
“Damn straight, no. I told you that pussy is mine. You are mine. Go back to the room. Now.”
Grabbing the sandwich only, I raced to the room, locking it behind me.
“Yea… Mommy. Tank you!” Cooper began gobbling it up as he watched his rabbits’ cartoon.
“Coop, I’m gonna go take a shower. Be out in a minute. Stay right there.” He nodded his head, his mouth too full to respond.
Sitting on the toilet, I buried my head in my hands, letting the tears free fall from my eyes. My first day as an ol’ lady and I’ve already fucked up. I embarrassed Cruz and myself in front of a brother, the one thing I didn’t want to do. I should have had the rag on, I should have known better.
Stripping out of my clothes, I washed away the tears, wanting to get them all out before going out to Cooper.
Coop was lying on the floor, his mostly eaten sandwich lying on the plate in front of him. His eyes were drooping almost to closing.
“Come on, Buddy.” Instead of putting him in his bed, I brought him in with me. Wrapping my arms around him, I listened to his slow breathing. I wanted more than anything to fall asleep. Call me a chicken or a pussy… I didn’t give a shit. I didn’t want to face Cruz. Not after this debacle.
As I watched the clock flash red numbers one at a time as each minute passed, my body wouldn’t relax enough to sleep, but when the door opened, I closed my eyes hoping he would think I was out.
The rustling of clothes was behind me along with the thump of boots hitting the floor. Keeping my eyes closed, I felt the dip on the side of the bed where Coop was laying, and then the removal of him. I evened out my breathing, knowing that he was going to be back any minute.
The bed dipped as his warm body slid beneath the sheets. “I know you’re awake, Princess.” I didn’t move, hoping he was wrong. “Come on, if you were asleep you’d have had a gun to my face when I moved Coop.” Letting out a sigh, I slowly opened my eyes, waiting for him to talk.
“You have to wear your rags. Whenever you’re in the clubhouse, you’ve got to wear them. It’s the only thing that’s gonna protect you.” He rolled over on his side, his voice calm and collected, nothing like earlier in the kitchen. With his anger gone, I relaxed a bit and listened. “That guy was Butch. He’s from the Davis chapter and didn’t have a clue who you were. If he would have, I’d have kicked his ass for hitting on my girl.” Letting out a deep breath, he continued, “I know you were taking care of our boy, but you gotta wear your rags.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, not wanting to say much.
“I’m sorry too, Baby. I just lost it.” Cruz pulled me into him, wrapping his arms around me tightly. With my head nuzzled in his chest, I breathed him in, comforted by his gentle touch.
“I’ll wear it. I promise.” After lying there for quite some time, I spoke. “Cruz?”
“Yeah?”
“I was scared. I was afraid of what I’d have to do,” I whispered, feeling the need to let him know how I felt about the whole thing. I didn’t say a word about the man slapping me. I didn’t need to add more shit to the already burning inferno. But if it had gone further, I would have protected myself, brother or not.
“I know Baby. I know.” He rubbed my back, slowly lulling me into another restless sleep.
* * *
“Babe, gotta ride.” Cruz called out from the main room. I walked out with Coop in my arms and my rags on. Coop wiggled out to get to his daddy. “I’ll be back. Love you.” Cruz kissed him on the cheek as he squeezed him tight.
Looking deep in his eyes, there were many things I wanted to say. Like, be careful, stay safe, don’t get shot, but I kept it to myself. I knew exactly where he was going thanks to Stella, and I couldn’t say that I liked it. But it was club business, it just so happened to have me smack in the fucking middle of it. It pissed me off that I was putting the brothers in danger, and then on top of it; I didn’t know why the hell this was happening.
Cruz gave strict instructions for me to stay away from Studio X tonight, and I was completely fine with that. I didn’t want to be in the way or have anyone worrying about me as it was going down. I wanted to be here safe with my boy.
But I didn’t like it. I didn’t like sending him into something where he could be killed. I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it. It would kill me. Even though I knew it was part of the life, it didn’t mean that I had to like it.
Cruz wrapped his other arm around me, “I’ll be fine, Baby. Love you.” He kissed me deeply with Coop still in his arms.
As he pulled away, he told Coop, “I love you, too.” Cruz handed me Coop, walking out of the clubhouse.
Ma’s firm arms were there to wrap around us. “He’ll be fine.”
I smiled weakly at her knowing she’s been around long enough to know what the hell goes on, too. This time, I wished I didn’t.
