Текст книги "Vice"

Автор книги: Rosanna Leo

сообщить о нарушении

Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 15 страниц)

Chapter Ten

As Kate plopped down on the bed next to him, smelling of flowers, sweat and of him, Liam fought the urge to take her once again. She made him forget himself, and at the same time she forced him to remember.

Who abandoned you? She probably had no clue she’d hit the nail on the head with that question. And dammit, she deserved an answer.

But could she handle it? All of it?

He wasn’t quite sure how to explain. After all, he’d never shared the truth with anyone other than the social services worker who’d followed his case so long ago.

He’d been able to bury the pain, to ignore it, at least most of the time. But since meeting Kate, the old demons seemed to want to take another stab at him. Every time his heart galloped unsteadily, he knew suppressing those feelings wasn’t working anymore.

As if to prove the point, a sharp pain stabbed at him. He sucked in a breath and fought the urge to clutch his chest. It’s just stress, nothing more. Stress can be controlled.

Kate touched his face. “Liam? I’m here for you.”

His eyes were burning. Shit, that was a new feeling. He really didn’t want to blubber in front of Kate. He took a deep breath. “Okay. When I was a kid, I lost everything, everyone, who meant anything to me. That’s why I’ve been fighting so hard for Michelle. I didn’t want her to go through the same thing.”

Kate crossed her legs and her robe fell open, exposing her calves. Liam stroked them, wishing he could lose himself in her body again and forget the past for a few minutes longer.

I never wanted you. And now it’s time for me to have my own family. Liam, you’re just not part of it. You never were.

The voice of his stepmother made him want to spit. He must have made a face because Kate leaned in and kissed the side of his mouth, soft yet urgent, as if wanting to take his pain away.

“Tell me.”

“My mom died when I was five. We were at home, having lunch. I remember she made us ham sandwiches. I have trouble picturing her face sometimes, but I can still see those damn sandwiches.” He paused, unable to recall the exact shape of her eyes. “I was sitting with her at the table when she began to make strange noises.” This much he did remember, as if it was yesterday. “My mom started to choke in front of me and I was too young to help her.”

Kate’s hand flew to her mouth. “Oh, no.”

“I thought everyone would blame me. Of course, no one did. I was just a kid, but even at that age, a part of me felt responsible.”

“You couldn’t have helped her. You must know that.”

“I do know it. My dad explained later that she’d had an aneurism. But for a long time, I told myself I should have been able to save her, only to find out there’s no way I could have.” He closed his eyes for a second, recalling the terror that kept him up for so many nights afterward. “An aneurism. Just the thought of it scares the shit out of me. How do you possibly fight something like that?”

“No one would have expected you to do anything.”

“I know. My dad said the same thing, but he was also struggling. Her death changed him. He sort of lost interest in parenting. I got put in front of the TV a lot, read thousands of comic books. He still took me to school, helped me with my homework, but I could see his heart wasn’t in it.”

“He was grieving.”

“Of course. And that’s why I was happy when he started dating a couple of years later. Kids can be smart. They may not have all the details, but they know what’s going on. And I wanted my happy-go-lucky dad back. It’s funny, some kids get scared when their dads bring home a stepmom, but not me. I was excited to meet Shauna. I missed having a mom and I really hoped she’d like me.”

Kate frowned. She could no doubt see where this was going.

Liam chuckled. “Oh, it wasn’t obvious at first, but like I said, kids soon figure things out. Shauna was just, well, prickly when I met her. Maybe it was nerves, I don’t know, but she didn’t give me the warm and fuzzies.”

“How old were you then?”

“Nine.” He rolled his shoulders, trying to release the tension in his neck. “She was a beautiful woman, sophisticated and elegant. So different from how I remembered my mom. My mother was beautiful too, but in a homey way, you know? Comfortable. She wasn’t concerned about the latest fashions. She was just happy being a mom and a wife.”

Kate nodded her understanding.

“But Shauna wanted to be wined and dined and didn’t really make an effort to hang around me. I could tell she wished my dad hadn’t had a kid. And I guess he was so taken with her he didn’t notice how frosty she was to me. I was sent to a lot of babysitters. I remember sitting in other people’s houses, wishing I could be at dinner with them. Wishing she wanted me.”

Kate reached over and caressed his thigh under his robe. Her fingers, so cool and soft, felt wonderful on his warm skin.

“Anyway, they got married. I remember overhearing a conversation as they were planning the wedding. Shauna didn’t want me there. She said she didn’t want any kids at the reception, but I knew it was just me she wanted out of the picture.”

“Why?”

“She never said, at least not to me. Maybe she was threatened at having her predecessor’s son around. Maybe she felt my presence diminished her place in the family, or that she’d never have complete influence over my father because of me. She was the sort of person who needed that, to have some kind of control over another person.”

“That’s awful. How could anyone behave like that to a child?”

“People do all sorts of terrible things to children. Look at Andy, leaving Michelle and her mom before she was even born.”

Kate nodded.

“Anyway, my dad insisted on me coming to the wedding, but by that point, I didn’t even want to be there. I was the ring bearer. I remember feeling tempted to drop the rings down the toilet.”

“I can’t blame you there.”

“Well, I didn’t. They went on a long honeymoon, and I was sent to stay with the elderly neighbor next door, an old friend of my mom’s. The next couple of years were a blur of sports practices that Shauna never attended, school concerts that only my Dad came to see, you get the picture.”

“Was your dad happy?”

“I think so, for the most part. And after a while, he got sick. A heart condition. He spent a bit of time in the hospital.”

Kate’s face darkened. “Liam…”

“He died of a heart attack when I was thirteen. And so I was left with Shauna, the woman who never wanted me in the first place.”

She grabbed his hand, squeezing, her face contorted with clear pain.

His bitterness manifested in a sour smile. “To her credit, she did house me for a year. She was never cruel, just indifferent. But to a kid that’s worse. We just existed together, did our own things. But deep down, I wanted her to hug me and tell me she was glad I was in her life. I wanted her to accept me as her own.”

“And you never got that.”

He shook his head. “But she put a roof over my head for twelve months, even though I spent that year wondering when she’d grow tired of me. I suppose she kept me that long because she felt guilty, and I know she did love my dad. But at the end of that year, she met a man. A wealthy man. He wanted to marry her, but he didn’t want another man’s moping kid in his house.”

Liam spotted a tear fall from Kate’s eye. He wiped it away for her, hating the fact that she felt pain on his account. He leaned in and kissed the trail left from her tears.

“Anyway, it gave Shauna the push she needed. One day, she pulled me out of school and told me my bags were already in her car. She drove me to Aunt Margaret’s, a distant relative of my dad’s who I didn’t know very well, and told me that I wouldn’t see her again.”

“What did you do?”

Liam bit his lip. Since the day Shauna left, he hadn’t wasted a tear on her. But now they fell, and he wanted to slap at the wet tracks on his cheeks, hating this display of weakness. “I begged her to keep me. She was the only parent I had left. I promised to be good, told her I could be a good son to her. That I’d make her proud. She said, ‘Liam, you were never my son. I never wanted you. Now I have a chance to build my own family and you’re not part of it.’”

Kate pulled him into her arms, and he rested his head on her shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

“I felt like my world was over. I’d already felt abandoned because of my parents’ deaths. But this woman, who should have been a mother to me, chose to abandon me. She told me to get the fuck out of her life and never looked back. And I was left with an old woman, who despite her good intentions, had health issues and her own concerns. She only took me in because I was blood, but we were basically strangers. We did grow closer, but it took time, and God knows I added to her stress. Then Aunt Margaret died by the time I got out of high school. Leaving me alone. Again.”

She looked at him, her mouth open, unbelieving.

“When she sent me to stay with Margaret, I was so angry. Shauna had made all the decisions for me and I hated the choices she made. So I made one for myself after she left. I ran away from Margaret’s house and stayed away for a month.”

“Where did you go?”

Liam swallowed hard. He’d already shared more than he’d shared with anyone. Could he tell her everything?

No.

“Liam?”

“I was homeless.”

Kate’s mouth fell open, as if she couldn’t believe the story got worse. He was right. He couldn’t tell her everything. He’d only scratched the surface of his tale and she was already in bits.

“What happened?”

“Look, all you need to know is I straightened myself out. As much as I didn’t want to hang around with an old lady, I realized that it was better than being on the streets. I went back to Margaret’s place and things got better. Let’s just say the streets of Vegas are no place for a kid.”

“Liam.” The word came out as a broken cry.

“Kate, I’ve spent the better part of my life feeling alone and unwanted. Do you understand why I don’t want Michelle to feel like I walked out on her?”

She nodded. “I do. But don’t you ever equate yourself with that woman. Your motives are good, and Shauna was an evil douchebag.”

Despite his tears, he broke into laughter. “Thanks for saying that. Maybe it’s not quite accurate, but it helps to hear.”

“I hate what she did to you.”

“I suppose I don’t blame her. I mean, I wasn’t really her kid.”

She shook her head. “Anyone with half a heart would have done the right thing and kept you. It was her loss. She missed out on something special.”

As she cried, he choked back his own tears and took her in his arms. She climbed onto his lap and he held her, stroking her hair and back. As much as he’d hated reliving his past, he felt better now, knowing Kate understood.

God help him, he was falling for this woman. She smashed his barriers and tore down his walls. She’d commandeered his heart with a few words of kindness, and shone light on a very dark corner of his life. He would always be grateful for it, and would gladly do the same for her.

“What happened to you, on the streets?”

He hadn’t allowed those memories in for a long time. He could almost convince himself someone else lived them. “Forget I mentioned it.”

“How can you say that? I won’t forget it.”

“It’s done. I learned from it. That’s all that matters.”

Her sigh told him she wasn’t done with the topic, but would let it go for now. Well, he’d deal with her questions as they came.

“Did you ever see Shauna again?”

“Only once,” Liam said quietly. “In my early twenties. I was back on track, done with college and apprenticed at a building firm. I got a call from a lawyer one day, telling me Shauna was in poor health, cancer, and that she wanted to see me.”

She looked up. “Did you go?”

“I wanted to tell him to fuck himself and to give her the same message. But I guess I was curious. What could she possibly want with me? As much as I despised her, I knew it would always bother me if I didn’t go. So I swallowed my feelings and visited her.” He closed his eyes for a moment as he remembered the scene. “It was strange to see her, looking so small, in a hospital gown. She’d always been a stunner before. When she saw me, she began to cry. Nothing surprised me more than to learn the ice queen had emotions after all.”

“What did she say?”

“She apologized. Told me God had cursed her for her cruelty by making her barren. She never had that family she wanted so badly. And after a few years of trying, her wealthy husband paid her off and divorced her.” He took a few deep breaths. “Shauna handed me a fat envelope filled with money. Said it was her divorce settlement, that she’d never touched it. She wanted me to have it. Because she hadn’t supported me in life, she wanted to die knowing she was finally supporting me.”

“That’s amazing.”

“No, it’s awful, Kate. Because you know what I did? I took it! I took her blood money and I left. I invested it, and the next year I began plans for my first casino. Shauna’s money paid for my business. And I think I’ve been sick about it ever since.”

Waves of nausea and guilt poured over him. For a moment, Liam thought he’d have to toss Kate onto the bed so he could run into the bathroom and hurl his self-loathing into the bowl. He bit back his feelings, as he’d been doing so effectively for years, and managed to keep it all down.

He must have still looked sick because Kate ran her hand up and down his back, rubbing and soothing his muscles. Perfect. The idea of her seeing him at his worst was as appealing as a vomit popsicle.

Kate massaged the top of his shoulder. “Liam, you did nothing wrong in accepting the money. She wanted to make amends, and I guess it was the only way she could do so.”

“Some days I feel like my business is built on a foundation of shame.”

“It’s not. You built up your business. You are the success behind it, no one else. Plenty of people in your shoes would have climbed into a hole and died. But you turned your life around, Liam Doyle. You became a success. You should be proud.”

He grinned, no longer feeling like a helpless kid. “You know the reason I decided to build casinos is because of the money they make. I wanted to know that if I ever had a family, they’d want for nothing. So I studied the competition and recognized a lot of gaps in the market. I tailored my properties to cater to those gaps. Now I can’t keep people away. But does it make me happy? I don’t know anymore.”

She grabbed his hand and drew whorls on his palm. “Well, despite how I feel about casinos, I’m woman enough to admit you’ve created amazing hotels. The best on the Strip.”

“The best on the Strip. That meant something to me a few years ago. But now? Who the hell knows? Kate, since I opened Vice, I just haven’t been myself. I haven’t been motivated. And I’m sick to death thinking I might end up being the failure she always knew I’d be.” He rubbed his chest, trying to erase the pains that always seemed present.

“There’s nothing about you that says failure to me. You are an amazing man,” she said, sighing. “And I want you so much it makes me crazy.”

To hear her say the words almost erased all his pain. The flood of emotion made his cock throb. He had to have her again. Now.

“Liam, you have to tell me about your time on the streets. I won’t stop wondering and worrying.”

Raw need suppressed his sigh of frustration. “Just let it go, Kate.”

“But…”

“No buts. You know everything that’s fit to print.” He reached for the tie on her robe, untied it, and removed the garment. He gazed at her beautiful body, the gorgeous curves which provided him with the best solace he’d ever known. He removed his own robe. “Just let me be with you. That’s all I want right now.”

She stared at him, her face crinkled with uncertainty, but she lay back on the bed and held out her hand.

Liam situated himself between her comforting thighs, and together they forgot the world.

Liam shut the suite door after accepting the tray of room service breakfast he’d ordered. She huddled on the couch, wrapped in her robe, and grinned at him as he brought it inside. “I’ve never been so happy to see a tray of food,” she admitted. “I’m starving because of how you’ve used my body all night long.”

He didn’t say a word but offered her a heated look and deposited the tray on a table.

She tightened her robe and tripped over to the table, her bare feet loving the feel of the thick carpet. She moved next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Hungry?”

His grin didn’t reach his eyes. “I guess.”

“You should be. I know I worked up an appetite.”

Again, he said nothing, turning instead to the television in the corner. The morning news was on, but he stared at the report as if he wasn’t absorbing a word.

Kate eyed him. He’d been strangely quiet this morning. She feared their talk had scared him off a little. He’d still been affectionate upon waking, holding her close, kissing her as if she were a fragile doll. To see him retreat now scared her more than she cared to admit, and she felt the need to coax him back out of his shell, if she could.

Their talk had scared her, as well. Her dream last night had been colored with images of abandoned children and life on the streets. What had happened to him out there? She knew the question would continue to plague her.

She lifted the lid to the tray and took in the incredible smell of bacon and eggs. Liam watched her and a dark gleam lit up his eyes, like a tiger preparing for the kill. She picked up a piece of bacon, held it to his mouth, and he bit off a piece.

“Liam,” she said, wanting to make him feel better. “Are you okay?”

He continued to watch her as he swallowed his bacon.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“I don’t feel like talking.”

Just as she suspected. After his confessions, he’d clammed up again. It had felt as if they’d broken down a wall and grown closer, but this morning she awoke to find he’d erected a higher one. She might have woken up with a different man altogether. After their breakthrough and an astounding night of pleasure, it seemed guarded Liam was back in control.

Okay, maybe she should give him some space. He could share more when he was ready. But the neediness in his eyes told her he needed to express himself, more than he realized.

“I’m here for you,” she said. “Last night you shared so much. I want you to know I didn’t take it for granted. Just don’t shut me out now.”

He seemed to absorb her words at first, then his gaze dropped and he tugged at her robe tie, loosening it.

“What are you doing?”

He removed her robe and tossed it to the floor. “Stop talking, Kate.” His own robe soon followed.

“Liam…”

“You want to know what I need? What I want? I want you, hot and wet and ready for me. And I want it now.”

“I don’t think we should…”

He molded his hand around her breast and kissed her hard, as if to stop her from talking. She pulled away, surprised at his change in mood, but he held her face and took her mouth once again. His tongue plunged into her mouth, tasting of bacon and lust. Even though she hadn’t started out in the mood, her body responded and melted before him.

His touch intensified as his hands explored her. He tweaked her nipple hard. When she gasped, he swallowed her cry. When she moaned, he wrestled his hand between her legs and claimed her there. She didn’t want to be wet for him, but she couldn’t help herself and he knew it.

He had taken control of her.

Pulling back his hand, he moved her to the floor-to-ceiling window and turned her to face outward. She shied away, worried someone would see them.

“One way glass,” he said as if reading her mind. “Now stay put.” He positioned her arms over her head so her palms rested on the window. He moved her hips toward him so her bottom stuck out. Before she could protest, not that she wanted to, he slid inside her.

Kate cried out as he slammed into her again and again, feeling at the edge of a precipice with the Strip laid out before her. As he claimed her, as he forced them both into a state of orgasmic agony, she felt she might fall right through the window and down to the sidewalk below.

She didn’t want this right now. But she did as well. Liam seemed to understand the addiction streaming through her veins, a need she couldn’t articulate.

As she came with a shocked whisper, with a sense of violated awe, she marveled at the sway he held over her. His grunts of crazed satisfaction turned into blasphemous exclamations as he pulled out and shot on her behind.

When he finished she looked over her shoulder, dizzy, and saw him reach for a cloth. He cleaned her up, his mouth tight, avoiding her eyes. The lines at the corners of his eyes had deepened to a sad crinkle.

“Liam,” she began.

“Have your breakfast,” he said, dropping a kiss on her shoulder. The bristles on his chin pricked her as his sudden coldness scored her heart. “I’m going to hit the shower.”

He picked up his robe and walked into the bathroom, leaving her alone with the most expensive eggs and bacon on the Strip.

“Again.” His demand, so hot on her ear, acted as food for her weirdly-famished body.

“I don’t think I can.”

One touch. One lick. “Yes, you can.”

“Oh, God.”

He slid between her legs, his thick erection throbbing. They’d been at it for hours, had watched night turn to day and back into night again. Since admitting his secret, Liam had been a machine. And as exhausted as she was, he’d managed to coax orgasm after orgasm out of her. She was barely doing any of the work at this point, just lying there while he teased her body into the pulsing, weeping mass of wetness he so craved.

He thrust deep into her and her pussy welcomed him yet again, as much as her brain railed against such excess. “More. I want more.”

“Liam, please, I can’t.”

But then he hit that spot again and she cried out, making lies of her words. She began to fall apart on an incredulous shout.

“That’s it, baby.” He drove her harder, taking his pleasure like a man obsessed. “Come for me. Oh fuck, that’s so good, Kate!” He let out a cry of his own and collapsed on top of her.

They lay on the bed, drenched in each other’s sweat. She wasn’t sure how long they remained prone, but she felt each second plod by. Each passing minute left her more and more convinced he was drowning his sorrows in sex.

Surely it couldn’t be healthy.

He moved. She breathed a sigh of relief, grateful to finally have a few moments to sleep. He moved off her to discard the latest condom, and she closed her eyes. Once again, warm hands slid up her legs, parting them.

“Open up for me.”

“Liam, we should talk…”

“No talk.” He pulled her close and threw her legs over his shoulders. His greedy tongue put a silky period on the end of his sentence.

And once again, Kate could do nothing more but let him have her, as another terrifying orgasm swept her away.