Текст книги "Addict"

Автор книги: Rachael Orman

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Chapter 9

 

Alix

It seemed like every second lasted minutes as the days passed, but finally it was Wednesday and I would be seeing Master J again. To say I was looking forward to it was an understatement of epic proportions. Besides, I hadn't seen John – yes, I finally had his name – since the incredibly awkward run in on Monday when I'd been with Jennifer.

She had cornered me so we could compare notes about the party. It had taken a lot not to tell her that I'd been back for a one-on-one session, but I knew she'd never leave me alone if I let that tasty little tidbit get out. I had mistakenly said that I was anxious to get home so that I could text someone. She wouldn't let me go until I'd finally admitted it was a man whom I'd had a date with the night before. She'd been in the process of trying to pry more details out of me when we'd stumbled upon John in the hallway outside of my event.

He hadn't uttered one word, but his eyes spoke volumes and his body was just as potent up-close. He'd practically ignored Jennifer until she started trying to get her greedy little claws into him. Jealousy had sparked within me at that; then again, I'd never really said a word to the man so he wasn't even close to being mine and I had no grounds for the feeling.

She'd stood in the hallway after I rushed away in an embarrassed mess. I think she tried to embarrass me on purpose, and really the last person in the world I wanted her to be telling about my so-called date was the man I frequently dreamed about. Although ever since Saturday night with Master J, my dreams had been split between that nameless, faceless man and the sexy man I'd been watching for months.

It was my turn to try to pry information out of Jennifer. I wanted to know everything she knew about John. I'd about fainted when she'd said his name. She had known his name all along and I'd finally learned it. I had a name to call out as my orgasm rushed over me at night in bed, in my shower in the morning or in the afternoon during my lunch break.

My addiction was getting out of control, I knew it. Every day I was sucked further into it's grip no matter how much I tried to fight it. I was tempted to get back online and try to talk to someone there, but I'd been too busy to make time to tear open the closet filled with skeletons. I vowed that on my next day off I would make the time. I'd set everything aside and talk to someone even if it made me uncomfortable. However, that wasn't always so easy, seeing as I was a salaried employee for the hotel. I often worked after-hours at events or I'd have to come back hours later for a function. A full day off was rare. When I did actually get one, I had so much stuff left to do that I'd barely stop all day trying to get caught up.

When my normal office hours were over, I all too happily gathered my purse and threw a wave to Jennifer before quickly making my way to my car. I didn't have time to mess around. Speeding a bit, I rushed to get home so I could shower, do my hair, shave, and dress in clean stockings, garter belt and another pair of my favorite lacy panty-bra sets. Standing in just my undergarments, I stared down my closet. I didn't have much in there that fell under “sexy” but I wanted to look good for Master J – not that he would see me fully dressed. Thankfully I had a slight addiction to fancy panties and sexy underthings. I suppose that only fed my sex addiction, but I wanted to feel pretty even if I was the only one who would see them.

Finally, I selected a button-up blouse and a knee-length skirt. That was another thing that I needed to make time for. Shopping for sexier, non-work clothes. Slipping on my four-inch heels, I grabbed my purse and sent a quick text to Master J letting him know I was coming to him.

At the club, I was greeted by a woman at the desk; she looked familiar, but I couldn’t say if she was the same one as either of my previous visits or not. I was again escorted to the room I was to enter and let into a small dressing room. There was no note awaiting me, so I stripped off my skirt and blouse before stepping through the door.

Remembering my instructions from the first time, I kneeled in the middle of the room with my head down. And just like the first time, moments after I was settled, he joined me.

"Mmm, Precious, how fast you learn." Master J's British accent washed over me, causing me to shiver in pleasure.

"Yes, sir," I responded with a slight smile, keeping my head down.

"You look absolutely mouthwatering, but you, my little tease, will not get what you are begging me for." His beautiful, shiny shoes stepped into my view at the same time his unique scent washed over me.

"I'm not begging for anything, sir. I just wanted to look pretty for you," I said honestly. Not that I would complain if he wanted to go there, but he'd already said I wasn't going to be getting sex from him.

"Very well. I do not mind looking at you wearing a garter belt and hose. They are my favorite things to see on a beautiful woman. Now for the blindfold." His large hands brushed my hair back over my shoulders before tying the silky fabric over my eyes.

It didn't frighten me as it had the first time. I was ready for anything he wanted to show me.

"Stand," his deep voice demanded.

I moved to quickly comply and stood on my heels, keeping my head down.

"Fuck," he cursed under his breath but I was still able to catch it.

Tugging my lower lip between my teeth, I fought not to smile at the unintentional compliment.

"Arms up," he spoke from behind me. I hadn't heard him move and jumped at his voice coming from a different direction than expected.

After I raised up one arm and then the other, he wrapped fabric around both wrists, binding them together. It wasn't nearly as loose as it had been the first time, but still loose enough I could've probably pulled my wrists from it if I really wanted to.

“You remember your safe word?”

I nodded. “Yes. Edge.”

"Good. Now walk." His large, hot hand came to rest on my lower back as he directed me. I slowly put one foot in front of the other until he told me to stop.

I could feel something close in front of me, but I wasn't sure if it was the wall or something else.

"Since you did so excellently with the crop last time, I thought we might start with something a little bit tougher than that. Okay?" he asked, surprising me.

"Yes, sir." I knew then that it must be the wall or at least something for me to lean against should I need to. I bent my arms, letting my hands fall behind my head. I didn't have anywhere else to let them go unless I wanted to completely lower my arms and I knew that wouldn't make him happy.

"Did I tell you to lower your arms?" his voice snapped at me.

My arms straightened immediately. "No, sir."

"Then why did you lower them?" he asked.

I could feel him walking behind me, back and forth, as he waited for my answer. I shrugged helplessly. "I'm not sure. I guess I figured you weren't looking and I could use the break from my burning shoulders."

"I know your shoulders are hurting. The only way to make them not hurt so quickly is to condition them. Short periods of time, which is what we are doing here. Do you really trust me so little, Precious?" His fingers brushed along my neck before dragging across the nape as he pushed all of my hair over one shoulder.

"I'm sorry, sir." I had no idea why I'd lowered them. My shoulders didn't hurt that bad. Sure, they burned a little bit, but nothing I couldn't endure for a bit longer. Hanging my head between my shoulders, I'd realized that I had been looking forward instead of down as I knew he expected of me.

"You can lift your head. Being submissive isn't about studying your shoes and letting other see your hair. You should be proud to be submissive, that you are strong enough to hand over your control to your master. Keep your shoulders up, your head up. Simply avert your eyes. Let everyone see how beautiful you are, but only I am to be graced with your eyes when I ask. Don't bow over and shy away like other submissives. That doesn't make you look any better or show that you are more submissive than the next, it only makes you look like a broken soul who is just asking for someone to stomp on you." Master J's finger hooked under my chin, raising my head back up.

"I'll try my best to remember, Master," I murmured. I was used to shying away, hiding away who I was from everyone. It would take practice for me to do as he said, but I would try.

"Now I am going to hook your arms over your head to keep them there. If you behave and are a good girl, this won't take long and your shoulders won't get too sore. If you disobey me, then we will keep starting over and it'll take longer. Understand?" As he talked, he guided the tie on my wrists up high enough that I had to lift onto my toes. When his warm hands left my wrists, I was unable to put my feet solidly on the ground, but was still supported enough to not feel like I was going to fall.

"Yes, sir." I wiggled a bit to make sure I wasn't going to fall.

"For that, you'll get a couple extra. I will see to your safety, including you accidentally falling. Trust in me." Anger was clear in his voice even as he moved farther away from me. When his footsteps returned, I swallowed hard in anticipation of what was coming.

Silence descended for longer than I was comfortable with. I wanted to say something to fill it, but knew it would only get me in more trouble as I hadn't been spoken to first. Finally, I felt something that felt like loose leather straps tracing along my back.

"We are going to try flogging tonight. Have you been flogged before?" Master J questioned even as the tickling feeling on my back continued.

"No, sir. I don't think so. It tickles. Is it supposed to tickle?" My skin jumped as it tried to get away from the sensation, completely outside of my control.

"It won't tickle once I get started. I just wanted you to know what it was that was happening." The light, teasing sensation was gone as I heard him step away from me again. However, the firm, burning one that slapped against my ass was not what I had expected to come after the tickling. After another couple of harsh, loud slaps against my ass, a different sensation started on my right shoulder blade. This time the slap against my skin came more rapidly and didn't have quite the same harsh sting to it, although it burned in a different way.

The flogger was brought down in a rapid succession, falling on one shoulder then the other before moving back to the first. The longer it went on, the more it hurt, the more intense it felt. The flogger moved all along my back before moving back up again, each stinging, burning pain harder and more intense than the one before it.

Just when I thought I would have to give in and cry out from the pain, it completely stopped.

"That was just warming you up," Master J whispered in my ear.

Again, his footsteps grew farther away before returning.

"This will be much more intense and painful. You can handle it. If you can't, you know your safe word."

Something hard and cold rubbed underneath my ass cheeks. I swallowed before responding with a quivering voice. "Yes, sir. Edge."

"Exactly. You'll be getting five of these. Four for doubting me. One because you are a little pain slut." Again the rubbing of the cold, hard, slim object, as if warning me of what was to come.

"P..pain slut?" I stuttered. I didn't know what the object was, but it made me nervous and the term he'd labeled me with didn't feel good either.

"That means you enjoy pain, Precious," he clarified.

It wasn't a question and I didn't want to expand on why pain didn't bother me. I did enjoy it, but I wasn't always that way.

"Do you know what this is?" He tapped my ass with the same object he'd been teasing me with.

"No, sir." I shuddered.

"It's a cane. It's a slim piece of bamboo. It hurts like hell. This will be the one and only time I use it unless you directly ask for it." Another soft tap on the ass.

"Yes, sir." Fear filled me, but still I tried to hold as still as I could.

"Count for me," he said, moments before a loud crack sounded and pain shot up my back and down my legs with a fire straight across my ass where the cane had landed.

"One, sir," I cried as my eyes filled with tears.

Crack.

"Two, sir," I sobbed as I fought with everything inside me to do as he asked so as not to get more punishment.

Crack.

"Three, sir." Tears flowed freely down my cheeks as my hands fisted, nails digging into my palms. My legs threatened to give out, but I locked my knees, determined to make it through them all.

Crack.

"Four... sir." It took me a moment to get my mind to focus through a hazy cloud that was slipping over everything. My hands relaxed their grip. The fire in my ass was no longer a pain-filled burn, but a pleasure-searing flame.

Crack.

Words were out of my grasp at that moment. Nothing mattered. Nothing hurt. A calm, quiet, serene feeling filled me from head to toe and I had no desire to stop what we were doing if that meant that this blissful feeling was going to leave.

My mind hadn't been this calm in... forever. Something always needed to be done. Someone always needed something from me. The rare chance I had freedom from work, my body and the ever-nagging addiction that raged and tormented me constantly were there to keep me company and my mind busy.

Slowly, I opened my eyes, not remembering closing them. Everything was dark, no matter which way I turned. Panic swelled and I tried to jump up from wherever I was lying, but hot, strong arms tugged me tight against a warm, firm body.

"Shh. It's okay. You are okay." Soft breath brushed against the top of my head.

"Where am I? What happened?" I tried to push the spiderwebs out of my head so I could figure things out on my own.

"You went to something called subspace," Master J said as his hand brushed against the back of my hair in a soothing manner. "It's when you are pushed past pain and into pleasure. They say it's like going into a cloud. Floating and calm."

"Yeah, I suppose that's a good way to describe it." I smiled lazily. Knowing that what had happened was actually a normal reaction had me wanting to do it again.

"I'm sorry I didn't see you were already slipping before the final punishment. But I got you down as soon as I realized you'd gone nonverbal on me." That relaxing hand continued to run through and over my hair.

"Nonverbal?" I lifted an eyebrow even though he couldn't see it.

"When you are unable to respond. That can be for something feeling good or bad. Its safest to immediately stop when that happens so you don't get hurt," he explained patiently.

"Oh. Okay." I didn't know what else to say. I didn't even know such things as 'subspace' and 'nonverbal' were possibilities in such an environment.

"How are you feeling?" His voice was soft and caring. A soft thumb brushed against my cheek tenderly.

"Good. Really relaxed. I don't know if I can walk, so I hope you aren't going to tell me I have to leave right now." I laughed softly and then stopped when he didn't join me.

"No, Precious. We will stay here, just like this until you are feeling more like yourself."

A moment of uneasy quiet hung between us although I wasn't sure what it was that I'd said that bothered him.

"Can I ask my questions?" I asked, trying to bring up an easier topic.

Chapter 10

 

John

Walking into the room and seeing Alix on her knees with those sexy thigh-high hose and garter belt on had nearly taken my breath away. She was already heart-stopping beautiful; then to see her stripped down to barely-there panties and having her pussy so easily accessible practically broke my control. Grinding my teeth, I knew what she'd planned. She had hoped for that exact thing and she would have to take a punishment for trying to push me to fuck her when I'd already told her it wasn't happening. She swore that it hadn't been her intention and I let her think that she was going to get away with it, but she'd get her punishment for it.

When she'd stood up she showed that she'd left her heels on, which only served to elongate her legs and flex her ass as she stood there looking more perfect than any other woman I'd ever laid eyes on. I realized that she indeed had not intended to tease and push me, but didn't realize just how desirable she was. How that was even possible, I'll never know. I fought myself constantly to keep my hands from straying. Having her trained and ready to be everything I needed, while also being all that she could be, was more important than a quick romp and release.

It wasn't hard to see, ever since the first time I'd seen her in the club that she was meant for a submissive relationship. She flourished helping people; her pain tolerance was the highest I'd ever seen in a submissive. She got turned on more than hurt when the crop had landed upon her. I planned to push her further to see just how much she could take.

After hooking the ribbon around her wrists high up on the wall, I picked up a flogger, then stood admiring her submission. She was uneasy, yet she stood waiting for what I would give her after a small warning to trust in me. Rolling the loose ends of the flogger together like wringing a towel, I let it come down on one shoulder then the other. It was a bit more of a biting experience than a figure-eight flogging was, until you really put some strength behind your swings and let the straps bite into the subs skin.

It took a while before her skin even started to turn bright pink, showing that she was feeling it, the blood rushing to the skin. Her head lowered between hits, her shoulders flexed just before the flogger came down, and I stopped. Her reactions were telling me that it was getting harder for her to take and with what I had in mind to do next, I didn't want her pain to be too bad...yet.

Standing in front of the wall, I stared at the various canes hanging there. I didn't want it to be too intense since it was her first time with a cane, but I wanted to test her limits. I picked a flimsier one. It'd hurt, but not nearly as badly as the strong, non-flexible type.

When I returned to her, I rubbed the cane along the underside of her ass, hinting at what was coming. If she ended up liking the cane, it would excite and scare her with the impending caning. The first crack against her ass didn't get even a reaction from her except to count as I'd instructed her. Pain slut if I'd ever seen one. She took it and waited for the next one. I could tell she was crying, but she wasn't using her safe word. She wasn't begging me to stop, she wasn't even sobbing. Not until the third one did she sob, but it wasn't a body-wracking screaming cry of pain. After the fourth one, I could tell she was starting to reach subspace; her body visibly relaxed, her head lolled downward. When the fifth and final one landed and she didn't count, I knew she'd fully slipped under but not in a way that I was comfortable.

One could slip into subspace and still be responsive, most were. Sometimes if it came over the sub to quick, they'd become nonverbal or if they were in too much pain, they wouldn't be able to speak through it. While it was okay if they were in subspace, it was not if they were in that much pain, but if they overlapped and she couldn't tell me that she was in too much pain she could be gravelly injured without a way to tell me.

As soon as I'd realized what happened, I dropped the cane, unhooked her arms and carried her to the bed. Removing her arm restraint, I threw it over the side of the bed, not caring where it landed. I pulled her to my chest and rubbed her back and hair slowly, calmly, even though my insides were anything but calm.

Once she took a deep breath and realized where she was, I relaxed. As much as subs enjoyed subspace, doms enjoyed the adrenaline rush of taking control. As I answered her questions, I let my own high subside. That is, until she laughed about me forcing her to leave before she was ready to go. I didn't find it funny that she'd think I would make her leave when she was still coming down. Then again, she'd never been to subspace before or realize that it could be a very bad thing not to be nurtured right after a scene like we'd had.

She laughed uneasily and changed the subject to her questions.

"Sure, Precious, ask your questions." I wanted to take off her blindfold. I wanted to lay her down on the bed and let her feel the weight of my body over hers, but I knew that it would only lead to temptation and make it that much harder for me not to give in to her beautiful, curvy body.

Her hand lifted to rub my chest, but instead of asking her question, she sat up and looked in my direction. "I have a question, sir."

"I already said it was okay for you to ask them," I responded, unsure of where she was going.

"I mean, I guess, I have a request then." She moved uncomfortably for a moment.

"And what is that?" I lifted an eyebrow even though she couldn't see me. I was curious.

"Since I am not allowed to wear my clothing in here, sir, I was wondering if I could ask that you not wear your shirt." She took a quick breath and continued before I could respond. "I just think it would help our connection. You get to see me, I don't get to see you. If I could feel your skin, your heat, against me, it would help me feel more comfortable."

I rose and quickly unbuttoned my shirt before pulling it off and draping it over the foot of the bed. Returning to my spot, she lowered herself so that her head was once again to my chest, a contented sigh leaving her lips at the contact.

"Thank you, Master."

Biting back a groan at the term, I hoped she couldn't feel my throbbing cock  just inches away from her. Rewrapping my arms around her, I returned to rubbing her back. "Your questions, Precious?"

"Oh, right, sir. I’ve been thinking about these since the last time I was with you. I was wondering how long you think I will have to wear the blindfold, sir? It's not that I mind, but I would like to see you and everything going on as well." She drew shapes on my chest with the tip of one of her fingers.

"That will depend on how well you behave. It is to encourage submissive behaviors. You experience everything more vividly when you are lacking one of your senses and sight is the easiest and most efficient to take away. Do you fear me to be impossibly ugly or some such thing? Is that why you crave to see my face?" I knew it had to be one of the reasons a woman wouldn't want to be blindfolded by a man she'd never seen.

"Yes, sir. Well, no, sir. I mean, I don't think you are ugly, but I would like to have a face to put with your voice and your touch."

"What if I let you touch my face? Then you can get an idea of what I look like, but you are not allowed to remove the blindfold. Not yet." I grabbed her hand that had been drawing on my chest and held it to my cheek before moving it over my face, when she started to move it on her own, I let go and let her explore. I didn't know that it would help comfort her much, but it was the best I could do.

"Mmm," she hummed as she rubbed her hands against my beard stubble. Then she traced the outline of my lips repeatedly.

My cock jumped, begging for her attention while I tried to hold as still as I could for her perusal. Grabbing both her hands, I had to stop her from torturing me any further. "Your second question, Precious?"

"So, I've been doing some research on this whole BDSM lifestyle, and I’d just like to know if you have any other submissives besides me that you’re training?" She sat back, her hands falling from my grasp as she kept her distance from me.

Sitting up, I reached through the dark before grazing her shoulder. My hand slid up her shoulder to grasp the back of her neck, pulling her gently forward until we were practically nose to nose. "Precious, I don't have any other submissives. Before you caught my eye, I hadn't had a submissive in a long time. I was trying to deny who I was, who I used to be, but everything about you shouted for my dominant side to take over and make you mine. As much as you are surprised by our connection, I am as well. While I am teaching you the ways, I also want you to know you are very special to me." I don't know why I told her so much, but it came out so easily I couldn't hold it back. I wanted her so damn much, but we both had our own issues and I didn't want them to get in the way of what could very well be the woman meant for me.

"Can I ask another question, sir?" she hesitantly asked, her nerves in her voice.

"You aren't satisfied with your two questions?" I loosened my grip on her neck.

"I am, sir. I just don't understand why you picked me. Why me? What was it about me? I'm nothing special. There are much prettier women, women who are already trained to be your perfect submissive, women who wouldn't be so difficult and time consuming." Again, she pulled away from me.

"Precious, that's exactly it. Don't you see? You are special because you will be trained just for me. You will be the only person who knows exactly how to please me, as I will learn exactly how to give you what you need and want. Even with a trained submissive, it takes time to build a relationship that both parties are comfortable in." I paused trying to figure out how to explain it more to her.

"But we don't have sex," she added quietly.

"That's where most people are incorrect in their assumptions about BDSM relationships. It's not about sex. It's about finding pleasure in pain or being tied up or whatever your kink may be. If both partners agree to sex, then sex may occur, but it is not necessary," I informed her.

"Oh. I see." She moved off the opposite side of the bed. "Would you like to inspect my ass now, sir?"

"Yes." I wish I'd turned off the lights, but I'd moved so fast to make sure she was okay that I didn't think of it. I knew she was growing weary of the blindfold and not being able to see. Walking around the bed, I ran my hand down the length of her back before hooking my fingers in the sides of her panties. With one swoop, I pulled them down to her ankles. She let out a soft gasp, but didn't move. Tenderly, I ran my fingers along the lines that were still evident across her ass where the cane had come down. She'd have bruises from the cane, unlike the crop. Good. I was glad she'd have something to keep me on her mind over the next couple of days. "You will have some difficulties sitting over for a few days. I want you to think of me every time you feel the pain from it. Remember how it felt to soar in subspace because of me."

"Absolutely, sir," she said with a smile on her face.

"You were a good girl today. I look forward to the next time." With that I made my way to the door on the opposite side of the room and closed it with a loud snick so she'd know that I had left the room. It was always a task to make myself leave her, but it wasn't fair to make her keep the blindfold on for too long as it could disorient her and be a bad thing. On the other hand, I enjoyed having her in my arms all the same.

I grabbed my bag that carried an extra set of clothes in it and escaped through the back entrance of the building. I didn't want her to see me walking around the front of the club. The gift I had arranged to have left for her had me excited to hear from her. I'm sure it would be a surprise, but I wanted to see her wearing something of mine. The bruises would do a good job of keeping me on her mind for the next couple of days, but they would heal and go away. The gift I left wouldn't. It was my way of claiming her even if she wasn't aware of it. One day I would explain it to her, but she was still quite new in the scene and I didn't know how she'd react to me wanting to collar her.