Текст книги "Putin vs. Joe Biden"

Автор книги: Олег Рыбаченко

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PUTIN VS. JOE BIDEN

ANNOTATION

The defeat in the US presidential election led to the fact that in the battle with Putin, Joe Biden replaced Donald Trump. Now the most experienced president in the history of the United States, will try to win against Vladimir Putin using the troops of the Third Reich.

. PROLOGUE.

Blinding lightning flashed, and a tsunami of multicolored lights raged. The omnipotent creators of the universes, the demiurge Gods Sfero Catastrophes and Harlequinade Emmanuel, winked at each other. Sfero looked like a boy of about thirteen, barefoot and wearing shorts, and Harlequinade looked like a very beautiful girl.

Then the Gods of the vigil argued.

Sfero logically remarked:

– Trump is no longer the president of the United States!

Harlequinade Emmanuel agreed:

"Not the president!

The demiurge boy logically remarked:

– So Biden should take his place!

Emmanuelle sang with delight:

– Biden? And that it's cool!

Sfero stamped his childish, bare foot and cooed:

"The Russians call him Grandpa Joe!"

Emmanuelle laughed, and answered, baring her teeth:

– Well, he's just like Stalin!

Katastrofoj noticed, winking:

– We will have real communism!

And the boy-God slapped his bare foot.

Emmanuelle offered, showing her teeth:

– So we'll trade Trump for Biden?

Catastrophists nodded in agreement:

– Yes, let Biden settle in the body of Hitler instead of Trump. It will be more fair, since the US has a different president!

Emmanuelle slapped the air with her bare foot and chirped:

– Glory to communism!

And the demiurge boys got to work. And they began to conjure. And move Biden into the body of Adolf Hitler. Well, Putin is already in the body of Stalin and so it is. There is no need for any special changes…

Although again there was a reboot. And Biden left the body. And Trump, since he was out of the game, and no longer Hitler, turned into a beautiful boy of twelve years old.

In fact, given the time of the game in 2022, it is not very cool for Donald Trump to return to the body of a seventy-six-year-old man. But to become a boy is even great. Especially childhood is a happy time. Especially on days when you don't have to go to school. So Donald Trump can be happy.

And Putin has a new rival, but in the old rut. When a fragile truce came between the USSR and fascist Germany. And it must be said great. And Biden is in trouble again, and adventures await him.

. CHAPTER # 1.

After Putin left his body in March 2022, there were significant changes in Russia. The news of the death of Vladimir V. Putin caused a controversial reaction in Russia. By this time, the president, who had been ruling Russia for more than twenty-two years, had largely lost popularity.

After the elections to the State Duma, "United Russia" was marked by colossal falsifications in its favor, but in fact lost outright. As a result, there were unusually massive protests in almost all major cities of Russia. There were clashes between people and the police.

Especially active were the Communists, who stole the victory. Yes, and Zyuganov had a stroke, and he fell into a coma. And the younger and more aggressive left moved to power. The Communists came alive. And the nationalists pulled up. Yes, and the liberals have added.

In general, there was a split in society. The long-reigning dictator Putin is boring everyone. Problems in the economy, theft, betrayal of Armenia, support for the odious dictatorship of Lukashenko in Belarus, all this has dropped Putin's rating. And caused a crisis in society.

Putin was already clearly not the same, and Russians already hated him more than they loved him.

And in Syria, Russia received only extra expenses, and the situation began to escalate. Moreover, Biden stopped fighting with ISIS, and even began to finance Islamic radicals against the Assad regime.

In addition, Putin's decision to send troops to Afghanistan and start another war there was not popular in Russia. And this is in the context of an economic downturn.

The Maidan due to the massive fraud of the elections to the state Duma, was very active. United Russia lost too much, and too many votes were drawn for it. And most importantly, the wave of protests did not subside. Strikes began all over Russia. And this complicated the whole situation. Militants in the Caucasus and in the Volga region have also become more active. And in general, a dark streak was coming in Russia.

And then the soul of Vladimir Putin has left the body, and now there are new presidential elections in Russia. And this is in a very unstable situation.

The Security Council met with the Government in closed session.

And immediately there was an altercation – who will lead the meeting. The acting President and head of government was Mikhail Mishustin. But the deputy of the Security Council Dmitry Medvedev. And he insisted that it was up to him to lead the security council in such a force majeure situation. And this is very disturbing and it almost came to assault. Medvedev and Mishustin grappled for the chair of the chairman.

Sumo wrestling began. The other ministers and generals did not interfere.

It looked very comical.

Heavier and slightly taller Mishustin still pushed Medvedev and sat down at the chair of the chairman.

Then he began to read the report, panting after a hard struggle. Stumbling and choking, Mishustin somehow read to the end. After that, Shoigu took the floor.

The Minister of defence is quite logical said:

"Now more than ever, we need to be united and united, as well as loyal to the constitution. And according to the constitution, the acting president is the prime minister, that is, Mikhail Mishustin!

The newly minted Tsar of Russia nodded:

"That's right! You are a wise man Shoigu, and I grant you the long-promised title of Marshal of the Russian Federation, and the Order of Victory!

:

– And why this particular order!

Mishustin answered honestly:

"It hasn't been awarded in half a century!" Moreover, it can be quite awarded to you for the victories in Syria and Afghanistan!

Shoigu nodded in agreement and remarked:

– You are a worthy successor of Putin! I hope the funding of the army will be increased?!

Mikhail Mishustin nodded vigorously:

"Of course! First of all, we need more powerful and advanced tanks! The tank is the main weapon of breakthrough!

The crowd nodded vigorously. The thought of new times made everyone happy.

Shoigu noticed:

– In modern warfare, the tank is not the main thing!

Mikhail Mishustin objected:

– The experience of all wars has shown that one aircraft war can be won only in computer strategies! And for a real victory, you need a combination of all means and measures!

Deputy Prime Minister for the Military-Industrial Complex confirmed:

– Tank is an important element of war! Especially in a regional war, we don't really need hypersonic missiles. The example of Afghanistan has shown that Russia is not ready for serious regional wars. But the tank is just against the Taliban-the locomotive of war!

The Finance Minister remarked:

– Our treasury is empty… And elections require money!

Mikhail Mishustin stated emphatically:

– We need to add salaries and pensions to all people. Even if you need to turn on the printing press!

The Finance Minister nodded:

"A little inflation won't kill us!"

The Acting President remarked:

– In Russia, one person has always been the most important. He was something of a king. And we must not allow chaos and anarchy! There should be only one president and his powers should not spread!

Shoigu nodded in agreement:

"Of course you shouldn't! Otherwise, there will be real anarchy. We are already a little different from Ukraine, and a little more and a civil war can begin.

Mishustin nodded and confirmed it:

– Moreover, it is necessary to hold presidential elections as soon as possible and get a new tsar. Moreover, the Communists can arrange a new provocation!

The Interior Minister said:

– Mass rallies and actions are already going on all over the country. The protesters demand not to allow election fraud, and the holding of repeated re-elections to the State Duma.

The Acting President remarked:

– Winners are not judged! And losers still as judge so after all messrs?!

The Minister of Internal Affairs noticed:

– We have forces for suppression of the Maidan. But in Belarus, the Lukashenka regime, holding on to bayonets, lowered the republic. And now there is a wild decline, and constant speeches of workers. Nothing good happened either!

Mishustin logically remarked:

– It is necessary to change the president in Belarus! Putin was indecisive in this regard!

The Minister of Internal Affairs noted:

– But in this case, the successor will be a burden for us. After all, you will agree, it will have to be held by the scruff of the neck!

The Acting President noted:

– Yes,but we can include Belarus in Russia. Putin showed indecision, and did not take this territory under his control. And Lukashenka again started talking about a multi-vector policy. So it turned out to be a stick that was not beaten!

Shoigu noticed:

– You can, Mr. President, and go to a military coup. We'll have the generals to do it!

Mishustin lowered his voice.:

– I give my consent, but without extra blood!

Shoigu nodded:

– We agree Mr. President! Although of course you will have to try. Putin had Crimea Mishustin had Belarus!

The Acting President noted:

– Russia began to rebel. We need new victories and success. The coronavirus has weakened the economy. Putin himself is also physically weakened, and his policy has already become not too productive. In these conditions, we need achievements in the external sphere and the people will calm down!

Shoigu noticed it here:

– A small, victorious war with Ukraine is possible! It was badly affected by the Maidan, the civil war, Zelensky's weakness and the coronavirus. Probably we should take away from the Ukrainians both the Luhansk and Donetsk regions completely!

Mikhail Mishustin logically objected:

– Is it worth cutting the dog's tail in parts? Maybe take and attach the Ukraine to Russia as a whole?

Shoigu muttered:

"The big spoon is tearing your mouth!"

Mishustin logically remarked:

– Swung, so hit! Moreover, we need not only a key, but also a lock. But of course this is one option. The other is to finally end the hybrid war with Ukraine. And build a partnership with your brothers.

Shoigu asked with a smile:

"Do you want to change course?"

The Acting President nodded:

– Yes! Putin's idea-no peace, no war, this is the worst version of Trotsky's strategy! Either we will conquer Ukraine, or we will make it our partner!

Foreign Minister Lavrov agreed:

– Yes, there must be certainty! Although it is easier to conquer Ukraine than to make it a partner!

Mishustin nodded in agreement:

– The choice is difficult for us! Either new victories, or an end to the Cold War with the United States and the West. But this choice should be made!

There was a pause. Several girls entered the Kremlin office, which was rather modest and unadorned. Of the paintings, only a portrait of the already deceased Russian President Vladimir Putin. And a couple of silver vases with flowers.

The girls brought coffee, cappuccino, and black caviar sandwiches. And also some chocolates.

Mishustin thought it would be a good idea to make the office more elegant. And also to build another residence for the president. Moreover, not just a residence, but a type of Versailles of the twenty-first century. Mishustin liked to build. In fact, as in the game with the pyramids, it is simply great. In general, there was a desire to surpass Vladimir Putin and go down in history as greater than his predecessor.

Mishustin drank half a cup of coffee and remarked:

"Here, gentlemen, we have a choice! Or conquests, or build a thriving economy, and try to raise the level of prosperity of Russia. What is better to choose?

Speaker of the upper house Matvienko said:

– We must first win the presidential election! According to the Constitution, they must pass within three months. In the meantime, it is better to continue to roll on the rolled track!

Shoigu agreed:

– Yes, we need to pass the presidential election! And given the mood of the people, this is not an empty formality!

Mishustin grunted:

"All the more reason why we need unity more than ever! Moreover, I am acting President of Russia under the constitution. And I have legal authority for five months. And of course, from the point of view of the continuity of power, those who temporarily perform, should receive powers for another six years!

Medvedev objected:

– I was president, Prime Minister for eight years, and now I lead the United Russia party, which has retained its majority in parliament. I should have been the successor and unified candidate of the party in power!

Mishustin logically remarked:

– You did not cope with the economy, and Putin lost confidence in Medvedev. In addition, the one who has full power has more opportunities in the presidential election.

Shoigu agreed:

– In fact, what is it to plow and give everything to someone who performs the duties of the president, but is not nominated for the throne. After all, this is illogical. It is better to let who has the power, he is nominated!

Matvienko objected here:

– It would be more politically correct to put a woman after a macho man!

Shoigu shook his head:

"We need a man on the throne now. The situation in the country is very alarming. And there, God willing, maybe in six years and a woman will go!

Matvienko said angrily:

"In six years, I'll be older than Biden!" No this is not the best idea!

The Foreign Minister remarked:

– Yes, the best option is who performs the duties of the president and goes to the throne. In any case, this will lead to the fact that everyone will work in the same team. And if we bet on Matvienko, then the acting president will not be interested!

Mishustin added:

– All of you will receive awards and titles! And I won't hurt you!

Moscow Mayor Sobyanin also chimed in:

– I personally do not oppose the candidate Mikhail Vladimirovich, but ... he is still not charismatic enough and is loved by the people. In addition, his father is Jewish, his mother has Armenian roots. It will be very difficult for him to compete with the stronger Communists!

Lavrov noted angrily:

"Nationality doesn't matter!

Matveenko giggled and noted:

"My last name is co. Maybe for reasons of political correctness I will be better!

Shoigu said emphatically:

– No! I am definitely for the nomination of Mikhail Vladimirovich. He is a doctor of science, and economic, and a man moderately tough and strong-willed. He has performed well as prime minister, and a worthy successor. And Matvienko, and the mayor was unimportant, and the speaker of the Council of Federations is not God knows what position. And the age is too solid. And the Communists will nominate a young candidate and gain an advantage over us!

The Interior Minister remarked:

– It doesn't matter how they vote! It is important how they think!

The Director of the FSB replied:

"If we steal too much, a real color revolution could start!" There is no unambiguously, five-six percent of falsifications we can only afford!

Mishustin nodded his bald head:

– You should win at least relatively honestly! However, we have populist resources!

The Attorney General suggested:

– Maybe put some of the billionaires?

The acting president grinned and confirmed with great eagerness:

– Roman Abramovich! That's who should be put definitely!

The Attorney General asked with a smile:

"Is this a joke or something?"

Mishustin said emphatically:

– No! This is not a joke! Arrest Abramovich and go to jail! It will be a strong propaganda move!

The Prosecutor General nodded:

"It will be done!"

Shoigu noted with a satisfied look:

"You are a determined king! Well, Mikhail Vladimirovich, it's time to determine the strategy of the new elections!

Mishustin said with a satisfied smile:

– First of all, we need to register as many presidential candidates as possible, especially those with left-wing views. Secondly, do not register governors and business managers. Strive to disperse the protest electorate as much as possible. And make sure that the left drowns the left, and the liberals drown the liberals.

The Foreign Minister suggested:

– And Zhirinovsky should be invited to the elections!

The Acting President nodded:

"That's right, and his! Vladimir Volfovich will shit on everyone! And Ksenia Sobchak should be put into circulation and the rest!

Shoigu logically remarked:

– More left-spectrum candidates! That's good! And who will go from the Communists?

Mishustin suggested:

– Most likely, their current chairman is Alexey Kuznetsov. He is young, only thirty-five years old. But it has already gained great popularity among the people. At the same time, he is a charismatic and natural speaker, knows eight foreign languages, and plays the cello and violin perfectly. Physically very strong, tall and intelligent at the same time.

A very dangerous opponent!

Shoigu agreed:

"Very dangerous!"

The Director of FSB has noticed:

"But I'm not immune to accidents!"

The Acting president shook his head:

"I need to defeat him, not kill him!" Do you understand?

The Minister of Internal Affairs noted:

– We collected dirt on him. A remarkably clean man. He graduated from school at the age of fifteen with a gold medal. The youngest doctor of science in modern Russia. Like a comic book hero, not a real person!

Mishustin said angrily:

– If the Communists come to power, then we will all fly! And it will be bad for you, too. You've got a nose for guns, especially the police. So stick with me!

The Attorney General suggested:

– And if you arrest Alexey Kuznetsov?

The Acting President asked:

"And for what?"

The attorney General shrugged his shoulders:

– There would be a person, and there will be an article!

The Director of FSB has noticed:

– You can plant weapons and drugs, you can arrange a situation with a bribe. For example, a person comes to the office. He sees the package and automatically hides it in the table. And there are dollars. And there are other possibilities. As Nikita Belykh was framed – you can't get away with it!

Mishustin has noticed:

– Alexey Kuznetsov has parliamentary immunity!

The FSB Director shrugged and reminded me:

– United Russia still has a majority. And the courage of the city takes!

The Acting President of Russia strongly stated:

– When we win the election, we'll put Leshka the blacksmith in jail!

Shoigu nodded:

"There are no invincible soldiers!

Matvienko has noticed:

– And if we lose, then it will be too late to plant!

Mishustin suggested:

– Try to find dirt on him. Either fabricate it or frame it. Just don't be rude!

The Foreign Minister suggested:

– Find out if Kuznetsov has accounts abroad. And it will be a very strong move!

The Acting president nodded eagerly:

"Indeed! We'll run him down! And we can easily win any election!

An administrative resource is power!

Shoigu asked the obvious question:

– What are we going to do in Afghanistan? Will intensify the fighting or to take a break?

Mishustin banged his fist on the table and passionately uttered:

– We will act even more decisively! We will bomb the militants, and use the latest weapons. We need a victory there!

Shoigu objected to this:

– Maybe what Mikhail Gorbachev did right was to withdraw troops from Afghanistan!

Mishustin nodded in agreement:

"That's right… But we will not have miscalculations of the Soviet leadership. We will bomb the Mujahideen and use local forces and ... Chechens. At the same time, we will fuse a potentially dangerous element into Afghanistan!

Shoigu agreed:

– Yes, it will be very logical!

The acting president continued with a smile:

– And in general, the Russians have always been able to fight, and our people love those who fight!

Shoigu objected to this:

– And didn't Zhirinovsky fail in politics because of his belligerence?

Mishustin replied to this:

– The real decline in Zhirinovsky's popularity began from the moment Mark Goryachev gave him a punch in the face, and the candidate for dictator was afraid to answer him!

Shoigu agreed:

– Yes, Volfovich pretty scared off the electorate with his cowardice!

The previously silent First Deputy Prime Minister chimed in:

– Russia's economic situation is very difficult. If it is not improved, then there is nothing to think about winning the election!

Mishustin said with a sigh:

"That's bad… But we can raise wages and pensions and hold down inflation and the dollar a little before the elections. We still have large gold and foreign exchange reserves. And we can shake some of them. And raise your confidence level.

The Finance Minister nodded:

"For a while, of course, you can freeze prices and raise wages. This has been done more than once. But will it help us?

Mishustin slammed his fist down on the table again and growled:

– We must raise the standard of living of the people at any cost, even temporarily, and win the presidential election. Now we have a task of difficulty comparable to Yeltsin against Zyuganov. And maybe worse. Since Kuznetsov is stronger and younger than Zyuganov. If the Communists had such a leader in the ninety-sixth year, Yeltsin would not have resisted!

Shoigu tried to console:

– After all, we have a better economy than in the ninety-sixth year, and we did not lose the war in Chechnya!

Mishustin noted with a sigh:

– But the people are not so tired of the power that came to Russia from the ninety-first year. And people then in the ninety-sixth year remembered too well the empty shelves, the shortage of goods and the longest queues under the Communists. Now the youth of the times of communism do not know. And the old people were young then. And when you're young, everything seems good and fun. In their youth, almost everyone is happy and full of optimism. Yes, and as a rule, everything good is remembered. Not that for example, not that they remember that the sausage was in short supply, but that it cost two twenty. And not that the shelves were empty, but that the prices did not change for twenty years!

The First Deputy Prime Minister agreed:

– With almost zero inflation during the communist era, people were really confident in the future. There was no bankruptcy, ruin, mass speculation, unemployment. A person could save money for something valuable and was confident in the future. Alas, capitalism was not very good in our country. On the other hand, the good and romantic are more and more remembered, and the ideas of communism flourish. No, we can't beat the left so easily!

Mishustin grunted:

– And in the ninety-sixth year, it seemed that Yeltsin had no chance. But they still managed to overcome it! We have defeated Zyuganov, we will also defeat Kuznetsov!

Shoigu noted with a certain degree of doubt:

– Should we be so complex? Do you think the Communists will organize repressions against us?

The Acting President remarked:

"Maybe Yeltsin should have lost in' ninety-six. In this case, he would have left, Zyuganov would have come. Then Zyuganov would have left, and real democracy would have reigned in our country. Without successors and personality cults! There would be a change of power!

Shoigu arrogantly noted:

– Was it bad under Putin?

Mishustin answered honestly:

– In the zero years it was not bad, but then it got worse! And who knows. Whether we were "Krymnash"?

Shoigu agreed:

– I didn't need it... but the situation is like this! It would be better not to take Crimea, perhaps Ukraine would have kept its base there anyway. But on the other hand, such a patriotic upsurge!

Mishustin nodded in agreement:

– And the Cold War!

Shoigu logically noted:

"It was inevitable! However, even under Yeltsin, relations began to deteriorate. Let me remind you that already because of Bosnia, there were disagreements with NATO and the United States. And then Kosovo added. Like some kind of madhouse has come!

Mishustin said sternly:

– All the more time to build kinder and neighborly relations! Joe Biden is invited to Putin's funeral, and perhaps we will agree with him. And we will try to achieve a lasting peace!

Shoigu noted:

"No one wants war. Maybe we can win in Afghanistan. And then we will take and withdraw the troops!

The Acting President remarked:

– I also thought, should we get bogged down in Afghanistan, what did we forget there? Again we step on the same rake!

The FSB Director noted:

– Mr. President, the main reason why we are there is because of the large amount of drugs that are produced in Afghanistan. And this is unbearable and harmful for the country. We're working on it!

Mishustin said emphatically:

"Then the fighting should be intensified even more!" In the meantime, we need to prepare for the funeral. Putin should have a special one-a gold coffin in diamonds. Understood!?

Retinue amicably confirmed:

– Respect the dead man!