Текст книги "DONALD TRUMP IN THE BODY OF NAPOLEON"

Автор книги: Олег Рыбаченко

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DONALD TRUMP IN THE BODY OF NAPOLEON

ANNOTATION

The soul of the President of the United States of America, Donald trump, was transferred to the body of Napoleon Bonaparte on the first June 1, 1812.   Now the American patriot number one will have to visit the skin of the great conquering Emperor.

 

America is a great country,

That gave the light, the progress of peoples…

You are God Almighty Dana,

For the Motherland, for glory, for freedom!

 

No not for nothing in the Russian age,

A Royal, great power…

There was a great man,

Conqueror of death, glory!

 

Bonaparte was a child of the Gods,

Wise guy with a three-cornered hat…

The villains drove the donkeys,

Struck with a sharp prick!

 

There is a great Destiny in it,

The genius embodied!

He's so smart,

And swing like a giant!

 

But he went to fight in Russia-

Ivan decided to conquer,

Valiant knight don't be a coward,

Beat basurman with a rush!

 

And the titans fought like this,

That swords rang like thunder,

Get the hangman in a Nickel,

We are not children from the cradle!

 

Borodino glorious battle,

The knights stood firm..

Paid for the robbery,

They were in a corpse pit!

 

Bonaparte fled from us,

Having lost the wagons, the army…

Got not an eyebrow, but an eye,

From the blood, it became slippery,

 

We reached Paris,

They finished feasting there…

Yes soldiers only pennies,

But the bullets were gone!

.                              CHAPTER 1

Beautiful Slavic girls with bare feet were vigorously dancing something brisk on the runway. President of the United States of America Donald trump arrived on may 1, 2021 on an official visit to the capital of Ukraine, Kiev.  This was the first visit of the head of the world's most powerful power since the orange Maidan. 

The tall and plump President of the United States, accompanied by security guards, did not hurry up to the podium.   There was a may day parade with a demonstration of military equipment, and the latest military developments of the Ukrainian army.   Girls danced in short skirts, and with bare, slender legs. President of Ukraine Vladimir Zelensky read an address to the people. 

Things were not going well for the head of the us-allied state.  The people are dissatisfied, the goals proclaimed by the orange revolution have not been achieved, the country is in crisis, and the world does not smell yet.  The distribution of troops has been delayed and people are dying.

Therefore, the visit of the us President, the terrible trump, has high hopes, including for a Golden rain from America.    

Here Donald trump rises to the podium, he stands next to the Ukrainian President, who seems so small against his background and begins to pour out eloquence... that, they say, what a great future awaits Ukraine in an Alliance with the United States and all that...

Suddenly, from the troops participating in the parade, a shot is heard. A fast-moving rocket took off from the armored personnel carrier.  There was a deafening explosion, and clouds of black and yellow smoke, like demons escaping from the underworld, covered the stands where the heads of state stood: the United States and Ukraine…

Another page of history turned over with a splash of blood…

The spirit of the extraordinary and original Donald trump was moving away from the planet Earth.  Now the former President of the United States felt an extraordinary lightness in the body, the absence of any pain, and most importantly, that the chronic fatigue that had accumulated over the years of the presidency, almost seventy-four years of life, had subsided.

Many people dream of power, especially over such a strong country as America, but do not understand what a responsibility it is, and what a strain of mental and physical strength it is to manage the country! 

Now a blunt needle has come out of Donald trump's temple, and the US President is relieved.   Moreover, the view around him was not so beautiful!

The splendor of the cosmos in a variety of bright colors.  Previously invisible parts of the spectrum Shine in unique beauty.  And everything is special, sublime and rich.  Became visible a previously invisible to the eyes of the star.

As if in a vacuum, waves are floating, rolling in lambs, light streams are crossed.  Why does a fabulous ornament appear in beauty?  

Donald trump did not consider himself a great sinner, and was not too afraid of hell.  As President of the United States, he tried to avoid shedding too much blood.  Although I had to fight.  But the active transfer of American troops to Afghanistan began under Bush Jr., and he inherited this war and then had to put pressure on the Taliban, and then fight with ISIL. The army was withdrawn from Iraq, but they soon regretted it.   In Libya, when the performance of Arabs dissatisfied with the rule of the Gaddafi clan began, the United States pointedly kept on the sidelines and even managed to avoid losses in a limited air company. 

The Assad regime, he trump did not bomb too actively, although his advisers insisted on seizing the moment, so it will be difficult to prove involvement in the use of chemical weapons. And rockets were fired at Assad twice.  But he Donald trump decided to give the case a look of legality, and the English Parliament, frightened by the activity of the Russian army, unexpectedly opposed it. 

Then, however, the Americans began to bomb and restrain the attack on Baghdad by ISIL militants.

But only... Russia objected to this.  That didn't stop them from joining the Russian military company.   And in Crimea and Ukraine, the Americans behaved with extreme restraint.

So Donald trump, although he knew that many in the world consider him a monster, but ... Believed that he would not be blamed for foreign policy.  He even threatened Iran, but did not really beat it!  And I didn't want to start a war on the eve of the presidential election! But for the prosecution of same-sex marriage may well be asked... As here against him could take up arms mighty spirits.

The blue disk of the planet Earth finally disappeared, and the President of America felt an unexpected warmth.    

As if by magic, the landscape was transformed and Donald trump found himself in a huge futuristic hall, an indescribably luxurious Palace.  Everything was perfect, harmonious, and tasteful.  You can describe all the statues, ornaments, landscapes, fountains, flower beds and compositions that adorn the giant hall for a very long time.

But the most beautiful jewel was the girl sitting on the throne.  She was so beautiful that they say that there is a Princess across the sea that you can not see the plumb line.

Donald trump was now in the flesh, and was on the glittering, diamond-like steps of the throne.   The Golden-haired Goddess-Queen of this world towered over him, and two ravishing, athletic warriors stood on either side of the throne.   They stood there, flashing smiles and making gestures of greeting, but behind them were long, crossed swords with jeweled legs. 

Much lower than Donald trump – also beautiful, shapely girls-guards, but with luxurious bows.    The girls made do with a minimum of clothing, almost without hiding their charms.

The Queen herself is also in a transparent vestment, with strings of precious beads on her chest and thighs, and her chiseled legs are in crystal, giving multi-colored highlights, high-heeled shoes.

It is not easy to describe the Goddess, as far as her beauty is fresh and perfect, and at the same time healthy strong, tanned and elastic skin. 

Donald trump himself felt like a young man, and embodied in the body of a boy, when you are boiling with mad energy, and you want to jump like you are a banderlog.  At the same time, the beauty on the throne has such an imperious and Regal appearance that at the very sight of her, the former us President involuntarily buckled his knees. 

Donald Trump, as the former head of the world's strongest and wealthiest power, did not want to kneel, but he could not ignore greatness, stretched at the seams.   The President of America knelt on one knee and said loudly::

"I am at your service...Majesty."

The Queen laughed deafeningly, as if thousands of crystal bells were falling from the sky.  Donald Trump involuntarily sat down, and on the second knee.  He remembered how, as a boy, he had knelt in a mosque. 

At that time, he did not like to kneel, even before the Almighty Allah or Jesus Christ.  And after graduating, he happily went to business school and became a billionaire.  There he also adopted a new type of religion-the worship of the Golden calf, and in a liberal, almost non-binding form.  When you want to get rich at any cost. 

Just to get a billion, and the funds do not count!

But now Donald trump has realized that his fate is being decided in eternity. And thank God that this is not a horned monster with the wings of a bat, as they usually draw Satan, but a striking beauty.   Donald involuntarily looked back.  

The exalted throne of the deity is very high – the throne itself is the top, but it is located as if on a gigantic mountain.  And the lower the descent, the more stairs with steps appear.   

On each step, girls, barely covered with threads, beads, and garlands of jewelry, and with the richest weapons.  Moreover, their Arsenal is sometimes so pretentious that it is impossible to describe with the help of human analogues. 

And the girls are also different: blacks, Indians, Thai beauties, Japanese women, Aryan women, Redskins, Slavs, Scandinavians... a Great many girls with various decorations.

But they have in common: healthy, athletic beauty, freshness of young, tanned skin, maximum open body, no shoes – only different in shape and pattern ankle bracelets, studded with gems. 

Donald trump's eyesight has become extremely sharp, and it is visible on this throne of Everest, millions of bare-legged, muscular, and at the same time slender and feminine beauties. 

And the hall itself is hanging, as if on the clouds of sparkling lights.   Truly, this is how the abode of a powerful... pagan deity should look like.

It wasn't much like what Donald trump was taught by Christians and Muslims.

However, the us President himself was an agnostic in the matter of faith, rather than having a clear idea and understanding of what he believes. The main thing is that faith at a minimum, prevented you from getting pleasure on earth and taking everything from life.

At seventy, Obama became one of the oldest, no, perhaps even the oldest, presidents in U.S. history and the first German-born and billionaire head of the world's strongest state. It seemed like a dream come true, but ... it Seems to go down in history as a great President failed, and you can only console yourself with the fact that his predecessor Barack Obama turned out much worse. Especially in the economy. 

Donald trump also led America out of the crisis, and even managed to strengthen the us influence in Europe and the middle East, significantly weakened China, so that…

The goddess said in a thunderous voice:

"You Donald have been President of a great power for almost five years, but you have never fought a truly victorious war, and your subjects consider you an indecisive rag.

Donald trump felt an incredible weight on himself.  Two Amazon girls grabbed the President of the United States by the ears with their bare toes and pulled his blond head to the steps.  It stung, and in order not to lose the locators, Donald trump arched.  The boyish President's hairless chin scraped against the diamond.  It was as if a flame of fire had struck his jaw.

Donald trump's voice was barely audible:

"I felt sorry for people... I didn't want to die…

The beautiful goddess again deafening – it seemed at the eardrum, falling pood hradynky, progadala.  Covered with garlands of gems, the Queen's full chest rose and fell like icebergs in a storm.

But then the great girl suddenly calmed down. She said softly:

"Didn't want blood?"  Well, then ... your punishment will be a real test of courage.  The girl nodded to the guards. "Lift him up, but gently, and set him down with me."

From the touch of women's hands, and the sharp, spicy, but very pleasant aroma from the girls ' bodies, Donald trump really felt dizzy.  And his cherubic girls hugged and stroked, arousing the male nature. 

Donald trump, in the body of a strong teenager, a white race, was trivially tormented by love longing.   What unusual girls here, real Gurias.

But the Queen herself is the most beautiful and her eyes reflect all the colors of the rainbow, and the shades of the universe.

Here she took to her Donald trump, and the clothes flew off the muscular body of the young man.  And she, the Goddess and Creator of the universe, bared herself with a graceful movement and leaned forward.  Their tanned bodies merged passionately – and a hurricane boiled in the calm sea.

There was a real unimaginable cosmic tornado, when ... As if a couple of universes exploded and myriads of galaxies danced in a round dance.   It is impossible to find an analogue of what a mere mortal can not experience and compare with anything. There was not a shadow of this with anyone-except with the seal of perfection and the crown of beauty, the Creator of the universe... this is beyond any description and representation, and a pleasure so intense that it deafens and crushes, but at the same time you are ready to give your immortal soul to any torment to repeat this again. And there is no time, no matter, no space!   And in the end, billions of supernova flares erupted, and thousands of Krakatoa volcanoes erupted!

Donald trump has experienced something that no poet before him could have imagined, and none of even the most brilliant prose writers can describe.

The former US President felt completely stunned and blinded.

The goddess, quite grumbled:

"Sex with a real person, in a fake body... it's quasar!"

She put her hand on Donald Trump's forehead, after which the former head of America again felt clarity of thought, and the ability to adequately perceive the environment.

The girl cooed, flashing her teeth:

"Now that you belong entirely to me, it's time to pass away…

The US President blurted out:

– Donald trump is America's leader…

The goddess slapped him across the face, not hurting him, but Obama's sun-browned cheek turned purple.  After tweeting:

"I know your name!"  I am called in different worlds, very variously.  But for you, as for civilized people, I will be a Harlequinade!

The US President said sincerely:

– Beautiful name... and you yourself are the limit of perfection!

The Creator goddess didn't notice too readily:

"Some are even cooler than me... Although there are very few who surpass the all-Powerful Creator Goddess in the Superuniverse."   But for you-I am the Supreme Lord!  So you're just a toy in my hands! – The voice of the lovely lady-the Creator suddenly became much stricter. "do you understand?"

Donald trump replied without any falsehood:

"I think any man would dream of being a slave to a girl as divine as you!"

Harlequinade said harshly:

"So, slave ... You will be sent to the universe I created, which copies the human universe.  There will be a task before you... If you can complete it, you will receive at least from me a reward so generous that you would not dare to dream of on Earth. And in case of failure-your fate will probably be in my hands! Got it!

The former President of the United States struggled to get out of himself:

"I obey and obey!"

The Creator goddess said with a sly smile:

– For a start you should improve on... of Napoleon Bonaparte.  You've probably heard of this?

Donald trump nodded obediently:

"He seems to have conquered all of Europe, but lost at Waterloo to the Englishman Wellington.

Harlequinade gave a thin chuckle:

"Well, Yes!  You have some sketchy information about Napoleon, but when you incarnate, you will have the previous memory of the owner at your service!

The President of the United States said resentfully:

"I know Napoleon well.  This man has long aroused my interest. In particular, Bonaparte took Moscow and lost to the Russian frosts. I still know a thing or two about this era.

Harlequina said in an emphatically cold tone:

"I'm dropping you on June 1, 1812.  Napoleon is at the very top of his power.   He is about to begin the war with Russia that ended in defeat.   Then the voice of the Creator Goddess changed, and there was an onion-like, cheerful note in it.  – You have a chance to change the course of history, but... It will be at your discretion! Don't wait for hints!

Donald sighed heavily.  The idea of becoming a French Emperor did not appeal to him very much.  For almost five years of running the US, the billionaire and President has already had enough and is tired of power.  No wonder the wise fathers of the Constitution limited the term of government to eight years.

A long stay on the throne was not good for anyone. All power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely!   From the debauchery of the plebeians geniuses are born, from the depraved power – senseless arbitrariness!

Harlequinade responded to Donald trump's thoughts by folding the toes of her bare feet into a kind of Fig:

 "You don't have a choice!"  If you don't want to be a Napoleon, you'll be an Ancient Roman slave in the quarries!  I think everyone become a better Emperor?!

Donald trump caught so much horror in the Eyes of the Creator Goddess that he hastened to respond:

– I will fulfill any of your wishes!

Harlequin turned into a mermaid with seven tails and cooed:

"Now let's not delay!"

The US President just had time to feel it falling down-unpleasant of course... and then the landscape changed.   Instantly, as in a movie, a frame flashed, and you are already in a completely different place.

In this case, Donald trump walked slowly on a horse.  It was early, a summer morning, and the area was almost deserted except for two female bodyguards.  A Golden-haired blonde and a fiery-red beast.   Both beauties are quite tall, with relief, but pleasing to the eye muscles that do not deprive the girls of erotic appeal, and with a traditional minimum of clothing, combined with luxurious jewelry.

Donald trump involuntarily glanced at himself.  His sumptuous suit was replaced by a more skoromny army coat with a blue ribbon and a pair of modest orders.  The American President was not exactly slender, but he could even be proud of his abs.  

This time he has the third body in a short time.  Not too young, but not too old.

But unusually obese, and Donald trump did not feel quite comfortable.  Although Napoleon of 1812 is thirty-two years younger than trump of 2021, but the US President kept himself in shape and was not inclined to be overweight at all.    So the rejuvenation at thirty-two was almost completely absent. 

Bonaparte himself is not so small in stature, but broad-shouldered, stout as a dwarf.   But twenty centimeters below the President of the United States, although at least five kilograms and heavier. 

Donald trump was not very happy about the extra weight, and looked at the girls.  Napoleon's eyes were sharp, for he had a good view of the battlefields and won victories over a numerically superior enemy.

Not all Americans, of course, are familiar with Napoleon, but of the European tsars in the United States, this person is the most famous-there is even a term in journalism – "Napoleon Complex".

Sadam Hussein was especially often given this definition.  No, of course, being a slave in the quarries is worse, and now Napoleon has all of Europe under his control.

Memory and its own and the Emperor suggest that not all.  Scandinavia: Sweden and Norway are still nominally independent, while Finland is Russian.  In addition, the Balkans is dominated by the Ottoman Empire.  

Moreover, Austria and Prussia retained their sovereignty, even if they lost part of the territory.   Although the Habsburgs are now related, through Bonaparte's wife, the French-allied state is heavily influenced by Imperial capital. 

Nevertheless, Donald trump remembered that Austria and Prussia would betray Napoleon after he lost his company in Russia.  In Spain, Bonaparte's older brother now rules, but his power is fragile.   Italy like Napoleon wants to unite under the rule of his recently born son.  The Polish Duchy of vassalage.   France itself included several territories in its composition – for example, Belgium.  

In Europe, Bonaparte's position is strong.   The French army, together with foreign regiments, is huge – about 640,000 soldiers.  Russia has fewer troops.

Formally, relations with the Russians are almost allied.  Russia joined the continental bloc and formally suffered no territorial damage, unlike Austria and Prussia.  Moreover, Alexander took Finland and Moldova from the Turks, and the Russians advanced in the Caucasus and Central Asia.

Of course, this situation, when someone besides Napoleon expands their possessions, caused discontent with the Emperor.   In addition, Bonaparte has plans for the revival of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth, to put his illegitimate son Alexander valevsky at its head, making him king.

The expansion of Polish possessions was envisaged at the expense of Russia.  Austria can no longer be touched, it has already lost access to the sea.   Moreover, the Emperor Franz II can count on a piece of right-Bank Ukraine – after all, he is now Napoleon's father-in-law.  This means that he must receive at least some compensation for the fact that the Austrian Empire lost its possessions in Italy, and access to the Mediterranean sea. 

Especially after the death of the Emperor Franz, Napoleon's son, Napoleon II, may well assume the Austrian crown. In this case, all the more need to expand ownership.    

In his plans, Napoleon at least wants to give the poles Riga, the Baltic States, Belarus, and Kiev.   In any case, in the East, the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth regains its former possessions and, moreover, gets access to the Black sea.

Thus, only a war with Russia could satisfy Bonaparte's growing ambitions.  There is also the vast Ottoman Empire.  But this enemy is weak and it is unlikely that the Turks will be able to offer serious resistance to French and mercenary troops from all over Europe.

In the future, Napoleon plans to create kingdoms controlled by himself and his relatives there.  Perhaps at the expense of the Ottoman Empire, Austria will regain access to the Mediterranean sea.

And finally, by collecting the resources of many lands, you can build a huge fleet and crush Britain.   It is unlikely that England, even considering her colonies, is able to resist the resources of such vast spaces.

Napoleon's plans, in General, are clear to Donald Trump, who inherited the excellent memory of his predecessor.

Another thing is that Bonaparte suffered a severe defeat in Russia, after which there was the collapse of his Empire, the betrayal of the allies.  And now the former us President Harlequinade, the Creator Goddess of the universe, has been given a chance: using the knowledge of the future to change the course of history.   Such a task now faces Donald trump.

The President-Emperor turned to the girls following him:

"Are you my retinue?"

The girls replied artlessly:

"The great Goddess has assigned us to protect Napoleon-trump from assassination. 

And the bare-legged warriors added in unison:  

– But we will not give you advice!  Think Donald Bonaparte with your head!

But just the former us President and roads would be a good advice.  What should I do now?   In real history, Napoleon himself lost the war with the Russians, not in open battles, but more in small skirmishes, and because of frost and pestilence. 

Here Donald trump was visited by the first sensible idea in many years:

– We need to introduce hygiene rules in the army!  And to remove the lice!

The flame-haired girl nodded approvingly to the President-Emperor, and cooed:

"And you are not as stupid as people think you are in many countries of the world and among your own subjects. Only it's not so easy to do it!

Donald trump, who liked to read historical literature, and without inventing anything new, proposed an old, proven method:

"He'll shave his head."  And clothes to give to the lamb!  This is quite real at the beginning of the nineteenth century!

The Golden-haired blonde shook her index finger at Donald Trump:

"You have a good memory!"  But it is strange that Napoleon did not think of this!

The President is the Emperor with a sigh noticed:

"It is human nature to err!

After that, Donald trump thought that it might be a good idea to use the knowledge of the future to strengthen the army.  But the problem is that, for example, the former us President has only the most General information and knowledge about the technology of production of glycerol and any other modern explosives.

However, even if what he knows is passed to local engineers and chemists, they will certainly be able to find something suitable for practical use by trial and error.

But this year, apparently, new weapons will not have time to make.  And screw guns won't mow down the Russian ranks.

First question?  To fight or not with Russia?   The Rubicon has not yet been crossed, and there is time to play a retreat.   The ambitions of both Napoleon and his family require a solution at the expense of Russia.  And the Russians have much more land than France with all its conquests.  But on the other hand, Napoleon was not yet well established in Europe.  In Spain, civil war is raging, and the colonies of the Castilian Empire are rapidly separating from the mother country.

To win them back: you need a powerful Navy and dominance over Britain.

Napoleon is now at the top of his power, but there are more and more problems every year.  Although, of course, a lot of progressive things have been done.

Donald trump himself thought that it might make sense to reconsider the previous Napoleonic plans, and instead of going to Moscow to find a different direction. 

First and foremost in the head of the President of the United States came to Ukraine.  They have antagonism with the Muscovites for centuries, or more simply, confrontation.  You can enter Kiev and proclaim a self-sufficient Ukrainian state, putting one of your relatives as a Manager over it. 

The idea itself looks tempting, but contradicts Napoleon's previous promises to the poles and Austrians.

Well, if the poles were raised from the mud and the state of complete lack of statehood, to an Autonomous Duchy, which can be declared a Kingdom, then the mighty Austria is a stronghold of the dominion and control of France over Central and Eastern Europe.

Although on the other hand, Ukraine can also become a counterweight to the Austrians, and the poles will have enough of the Baltic States and Belarus.    The father-in-law will have enough of Bosnia and Herzegovina, which are still Ottoman possessions.

And if not enough, you can add Serbia.   The former US President had a biased opinion about the Serbs and really thought it would be better for them to be under the Austrians.

In the future, Napoleon II may receive the Austrian crown, and in this case, the unity of Europe will be strengthened. 

So the question is: should we go to Ukraine, and most importantly do it now, or wait?  Pause can be used to improve weapons.  The General principles of rifled rifles are known to Donald Trump, and engineers in France and other countries will be able to adjust the details.  And dynamite is quite realistic to develop. 

Aeroplanes probably can't be built that easily.   But dinamoriga artillery or a primitive mortar.   Also, of course, it will take time, but having received General guidelines from Donald trump, local designers for a couple of years, we can hope that they will create something worthwhile.

But the Russians can also adopt, even if not immediately, French weapons.  

It is probably impossible to construct a tank yet, but trains are quite possible.  A fairly simple device for a steam boiler: and the Railways will encircle all of Europe, to the Pacific ocean, if this is the will of Napoleon-trump. 

And the car can appear much earlier, with a modern layout.

The place where Napoleon's headquarters was located looked cozy, even slightly slicked down.   After all, it is home to the Emperor, at that time the most powerful power on the planet. The United States of America is still gaining its power.