Текст книги "Trump and Putin on a jungle planet"
Автор книги: Олег Рыбаченко
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TRUMP AND PUTIN ON A JUNGLE PLANET
ABSTRACT.
Two us and Russian presidents, Donald trump and Vladimir Putin are thrown into a parallel universe. There they must find the artifact, without which the reproduction of the human in the universe can stop. Suddenly the planet is wild and no signs of intelligent life. It seems the presidents are in a bind. Very beautiful barefoot girls. Warriors and presidents!
. CHAPTER 1
Both boys-presidents trump and Putin were in a wonderful forest. Around them stretched the jungle. Such special, colorful, with sparkling candles on the branches. And a lot of double basses sticking out of the ground, different needles, and big butts of flowers. And still what caterpillars crawl.
Length as big as the boa constrictor a caterpillar. The boys presidents looked around.
They were without weapons, without clothes, in the bodies of teenagers fourteen years. Very muscular bodies, cast as steel and beautiful. Trump is blonde, Putin is red. Boys will be boys. Another universe, where they should find a wonderful artifact for supercivilization.
Trump mumbled:
– There are two pluses: we now boys-athletes. And the second we have plenty of time, so we will never grow old!
Vladimir Putin added:
– But we can't grow up!
Donald trump sang in response:
– Young friend always be young,
You're not in a hurry to grow up...
Be cheerful, impudent, noisy,
Fight like that!
Never know aging,
Cry and laugh out of the blue!
For any population -
The scariest monster is trump!
Putin said, slyly winking at his partner. Yet in the body of the boy can be relaxed:
– Of course, you can have fun! But what are we gonna do here?
Donald suggested:
– Walk! Someone for sure will wreck! I don't think it's not civilisation.
Putin agreed with this:
– Walk!
And both strong, beautiful boys ran on the grass... They didn't run too fast. They don't need that. The forest looked quite beautiful. Grew fruits. Swarming animals resembling monkeys. Jump, what are the animals with the bright colors. There were many different butterflies....
Here comes the first predator. The type of a lion, only tails with a brush just three. And fangs protrude from the mouth such like a cleaning rod is bent.
Trump and Putin winked at each other and how to jump up and Bang a lion in the forehead with bare boy heels. They both really got a beautiful young body, much faster and stronger than human. And so fucked predator that he even fell. Then two boys-the President, began to beat him with fists and a Shin. Unleashed a series of blows on the beast... And the lion breathed his last.
The boys began to tear his skin with their bare hands. Power they have the superhuman. And making themselves loincloths. It's kind of embarrassing to be completely naked.
Trump noticed:
Now we're boys and are already used when passed preliminary preparations for their new bodies.
Putin agreed:
– How wonderful to feel young and healthy! Not that old!
Trump took and yelled:
– The Glory Of America! Thanks!
Putin in response:
– Glory To Russia! Thanks!
Both the kid-President burst out laughing, and bumped fists. Then they ran through the jungle again. Guys some time raced without adventures. Until one spotted the monkey did not run in Putin coconut, and got shot in response. After that, the boys decided to eat a little local coconuts. Two boys climbed a palm tree and broke large nuts.
They tasted like earth. And they were nice and tasty. The boys-presidents ate, and sitting in a Lotus position began to argue what to do next.
Putin suggested:
– Can we make ourselves clubs?
Trump shook his head:
– Our hands and fists are stronger than clubs! We can crush anyone!
Putin agreed:
– Yes bodies our as cast steel. But here is interestingly as there without us in our real world!
Trump answered honestly:
– Probably, many, very many breathed a sigh of relief! Especially the Chinese!
Putin nodded in agreement:
– About trump maybe, but the Chinese love me!
Trump seriously objected:
I don't! Strong Russia to China to anything! They would like to see Russia as weak as possible, but they do not talk about it openly!
Putin unexpectedly agreed:
– Yes on our Siberia they have species! In General, Russia has only two reliable allies: the army and the Navy!
Trump partially agreed with this:
– It is possible! Like us! So let's drink coconut milk, for the Union of two invincible Nations.
Putin and trump crossed their arms and took a SIP of coconut milk. The boys presidents were very cheerful on the outside, but deep down they were worried. While traces of civilization are seen. That they seem to be in trouble. Found themselves in a place that could be a trap.
To distract from disturbing thoughts, Putin remembered Oleg rybachenko's series about so he the President of Russia got to Stalin.
This is quite an interesting series of thirty books. In it Putin decided to surpass Stalin. And helped the Japanese win the battle of midway and Rommel defeat the British in Africa.
And then to finally defeat Britain and capture all the colonies. However, it turned out to be a very risky decision. Then the Germans and the Japanese pressed the USSR. And then again a truce and the war with the United States. The third Reich surprisingly quickly conquered America. Then the attack on the Soviet Union surrounded Moscow. Again a truce, and the joint war the USSR and Third Reich with Japan and its colonies.
After that, when Japan was occupied by the Third Reich, and the USSR conquered its possessions – the series ended. So vague. The end of 1948 and virtue not triumphed and Vice not punished.
Such an unfinished series. And then what?
Yes, it's certainly in the author's imagination.
Do sometimes think: would not have overthrown the Tsar in February 1917, there would be no October revolution and the civil war. What heights would be reached would then be Russia!
But it did not work... Those who overthrew the king were traitors. And Japan was not defeated because of the fifth column.
Trump sat for a while, and why jumped up and offered:
Maybe we should run!
Kid-President Putin agreed:
– Come on!
And the two of them took off into the jungle. Both beautiful, muscular terminator boys. Run myself... walked Past the saber-toothed tiger. But this beast did not dare to rush at the two impetuous boys.
And these ran, throwing him to attack bumps. After what sang:
– We will be Champions – we will!
Both presidents became like children. And funny and perky. And they run and laugh. Shows young body affect the perception of reality. Though they have a little used to his new flesh, passing in the preparatory center for some obstacle course. And now they were ready for any fight...
Here is boys-presidents attempted to to attack Panther. But apparently a bad day for her. Trump and Putin go, as weird legs on it. And then the boys brought down a hail of blows, which literally peeled off the skin of a big cat. However, what to do with the skin of the boys did not know.
In jungle heat and shines immediately in the sky three sun: violet, green and brown. So that dress unpleasantly.
Putin suggested:
– Can we make some moccasins for ourselves?
Trump shook his head negatively:
– Barefoot boys, much more agile! And we are not afraid of thorns. The skin is stronger than crocodile!
Putin agreed with this:
– Barefoot so barefoot!
Trump even jumped up and sang:
We're Indians! We're Indians!
And both the barefoot boy of former presidents ran himself through the jungle.
The boys spun, flipped, jumped high, and spun again. Then they caught the monkey and tore off its skin. A little more frolic.
We came across a herd of antelopes, they rushed from the boys-presidents to run.
Trump and Putin, flickering boy, green from the grass in heels caught up with the antelope. Tore them... And began to break branches for a fire. Trump really noticed:
– And can be and crude!
And the boy President tore the meat and swallowed it, noticing:
– A tasty!
Putin said:
– Raw meat can be contagious!
Trump waved:
– In our bodies highly immune, them even radiation takes! And a hundred percent regeneration!
Putin with annoyance noticed:
"But we are only boys!" She couldn't give us adult bodies!
Trump sarcastically noticed:
"We have male perfection large enough to satisfy a woman, and the rest... I Think if we perform the feats of women, the bodies of boys will not be frightened away. Moreover, not all such stupid laws as we do!
Putin agreed:
– I wanted to let Mature women sex with boys, Yes all hands did not reach! If I return to the throne, I will. Now I really want to.
And the boy President blushed. Trump nodded according:
Me too! Damn teenage hormones!
Both presidents-boys blushed with embarrassment. Then Putin said:
– We need to put pressure on the artery in his neck! Then the tension will subside!
Trump chuckled and noticed:
– Maybe....
Putin shook his red head negatively:
– We're too old for this! And if not bodies, then at least souls!
Trump was confused, and began to blush even thicker:
– Yes, we are not solid, do what you do exhausted by abstinence boys!
And both presidents pressed the tip of their nails against their necks. So teen itch eased...
But she wanted to sleep. Both young warriors had been running for hours through the jungle, and had not slept before.
That pecked spouts on a leaf of a giant orange burdock boys who when headed the strongest powers of the world.
Putin was dreaming of something alarming...
An alternative story, in which Hitler still decided that first should finish off Britain, and only then attack the Soviet Union. One such step was after the capture of Crete, and the attack in Malta. The latter was quite successful and the Fuhrer's troops defeated the British. Hitler made the decision, having finished with Britain and only then to go to the USSR.
Here it was influenced by four women witches. Aryan beauties: Gerda, Charlotte, Christina, Magda – convinced the Fuhrer not to go to Russia yet! They even knelt down and swore that the forty-first year was not the time. In addition to the girl ran barefoot over the coals and performed a ritual confirming that Russia is better not to go. And four beauties convinced the Fuhrer that it is necessary that in Africa fought and girls. On that received consensus.
British base attacked by an Armada of Krauts;
The largest British base really looked like hell. It was hit by more than a thousand gathered from all over the Eastern front and received a decent combat experience, bombers, along with fighter escort. The British of course have been fighting for a long time, but such a powerful massive blow was not expected. Indeed, who will believe that the Krauts dare to expose the front, even if the enemy is temporarily quiet. But the British warriors are now ruthlessly beaten. For example, their ships attacked Yu-87, the famous "thing". Not too high-speed, but having the highest ( for its time) precision bombing, they torment lurking in the bays of the British fleet. More modern Focke-Wulf are not lagging behind, among them even the legendary von Rudel, king of attack aircraft. Known for sinking the most powerful Soviet battleship – Marat".
Here, for example, corporal Richard sees how like a sled down a hill rolled vultures. As predatory fish from the hole emerge numerous German bombers. Already age an Englishman in fear of throwing up. Such a terrible sight he had never seen. The sirens very late, after the bomb explosions. The blast wave throws British soldiers flying in different directions severed arms and legs. Here is one of the iron helmets heated up and hit the officer in the face. And the as screams:
Churchill kaputt! Hitler's cool!
Anti-aircraft guns of the British began to shoot not at once, but only when thousands of bombs fell at once. The enemy are properly calculated: not one bomb should not be wasted. So destroy the enemy and beat. All sectors are pre-marked on the map. And brazen Englishmen, even as it should not disguised. Many of their anti-aircraft guns are at a glance and they are swept away in the first place.
Here the barrel is 85 mm long at thirty-two feet and the flak tossed and bent in the air like bagels. Then she fell, crushing five of the British. Here is the belly of one of the Negroes ripped and fell out the guts.
And bombs rained down, and all blazed, thundered with fuel storage began to break, giving away almost entire skeleton of the shells, then blasted another warehouse. To top it all off, the sirens mounted in the fairings of the u-87 and the Focke-Wulf were howling, causing wild terror among the Negroes and Arabs of the colonial troops. But it seems scared and white, no less.
For example, two British frigates collided, so much so that the boilers rumbled. And even taking off the wreckage of the frigates tore through the air like a mined field, but the cruiser elementary hooked on the bottom.
English tank "Cromwell" with a short muzzle, but with decent speed and powerful enough frontal armor in a panic dispersed and rammed his own warehouse, even on the way crushed a dozen of his own crazed soldiers. The chaos was growing. Here also the English aircraft carrier began to sink, and the powerful dreadnought opened fire ... coast where own soldiers swarmed.
And in this hell, two people remained completely unperturbed. One of them was an Indian, steadily lighting his pipe, and the other was a woman, obviously of Arab origin, but in uniform. Together they're not paying attention to speeding in the death. Or rather a whole Horde riders of annihilation, were playing in no ordinary card game. It was a game of fifty-two cards with jokers, and even by the rules invented by the red man himself.
Arab woman stated:
– Noise however many! And so the panic to arrange.
One of the soldiers with his back cut by shrapnel almost ran into the Indian, but then he casually threw like a kitten. Droplets of blood fell on the face of the redhead and smiling, I licked. Then noticed:
– To create a buzz for the weak white man. We're the Apaches believe so – there is no enemy, well, there was the enemy – even better!
The dark woman noticed.:
– This is a typical weakness of those who profess Christ's faith. They like to talk about sacrifice, but they don't sacrifice themselves.
The Indian nodded quickly:
The order is built on the Foundation where the cement faith, but sand will! Faith is a heart of gold, and will is an iron fist! Only the whites don't have either.
Several flaming British soldiers threw themselves into the water to wash the flames away. Even boiled from entering the water, heard screams, wild moans. Sea-foam and crawled bloody circles, first thick, then diverged gradually turning pale. And the soldiers of the once greatest and most extensive Empire on Earth lost a human face. The Arab snorted contemptuously.:
– And these men make us wear the burqa!
The red-skinned slyly squinting, observed:
– Apparently scares them, your terrible gaze!
The Arab woman sniffed at her teeth, said::
– The softness of a woman of similar viscosity armor, only much more deadly and versatile protection!
The Germans chose just to put all the forces, tactics of the pugilist, who, relying on the unwillingness of the enemy, catches all the forces of the enemy. When dozens of enemy aircraft burning at the airport can not take off. When inside the "Lancaster" tear their own bombs, destroying everything and everything. Tough but effective tactics. That Symphony of the underworld had reached the peak of his powers, and then began to subside.
But this, of course, it did not end, in the course entered the landing division. While the British after such treatment, none of them can be taken lukewarm. Fortunately already made in the right quantities gliders landing and debugged methods of towing. Probably today the best in the world.
So they fly, not like kites – slower, but fast enough, and accompanied by the music of Wagner – Hitler's favorite masterpiece. Who are still living remember the movie "Apocalypse", where the Americans that this music was used, attacking Vietnamese. It scared them. So and here Wagner, and rattling motives, through amplifiers. The Marines rubbed their faces in phosphorus, and razmalyvanie, they look creepy like a demon of the underworld. Also the calculation of the psychological effect. Plus, some reagents were added to the phosphorus, and a little magnesium crumb to at least briefly cause a glow. Such terrible, especially against a Smoking glow, numerous fires. They even have machine guns, also camouflaged in the form of dragon mouths. Next is the melodious beating of German and captured the gun-machine guns. And the mowed, ragged ranks fall to the boots of the winners. And many simply prefer to give up, despite the fact that the British are much more than the Germans.
Indian and Arab, hidden in a small hole carefully concealed. The red man noted:
– Well we plowed them!
The black-haired woman was surprised:
– You say we? Maybe you mean us.
The Indian shook his head.:
– No! Pale-faced beat the British and this is a good sign! And will time, then will come and our celebration! When the Indians free their continent!
The Arab snorted contemptuously.:
And the power over the world, do you expect?
The Indian gently, as if explaining to a mentally retarded child, grinned:
– Who wants to get too much is usually left with nothing! So big spoon – mouth pulls!
The Fuhrer, of course, did not see what his falcons and hawks were doing, but in principle he guessed that the German military machine would work out everything clearly. In General, German military offensive operations up to the Kursk bulge were carried out at a high professional level. Some of them even called a reference. It is strange that such a machine was stalled, and then completely collapsed.
And the four took part in the landing in Malta.
Four girls were only in bikinis. And already in the air threw in the British barefoot legs grenades. It's beautiful. Girls like that.
And during a flight will throw razor sharp discs. And a dozen necks ripped open. One word – beauty class super. And very sexy, and muscular. Such here is warriors. And with one blow split metal and bricks. They have such a violent, raging force. And let them bare heels in a jump in the chins of English soldiers. So fucked up.
And the blood flies, and spray in all directions.
Then the girls floated swords. And they began to destroy the English ranks. And while humming:
– White wolves are gathering! Only then will survive the race! The weak die – they are killed, purifying the sacred blood!
Such cool girls here. Just super!
Cut two swords each of British soldiers. And bare legs with the sword of the swastika, killing the men. And such ardent warriors...
A blow from the air to Malta is very powerful. The Fuhrer gathered aircraft from the Eastern front. And Ju-88 showed itself in its glory. And of course were used and Yu-87, which and the dominance of fighters in the air, proved to be very effective.
And beat the Krauts English very much. And girls-terminators with bare feet, even stronger. And warriors here simply class!
Well, girls like to admire. Not girls – and simply Panther!
They destroy their opponents. And humming:
– Nobody's gonna stop us! No one can defeat us! Evil she-wolf ripping up enemy!
Wicked wolf – a salute to the heroes!
And again cut... However, the British are already giving up. And they raise their hands up.
Gerda roars in English:
– On your knees! And kiss my feet!
Men prostrate themselves and kiss the girl's bare, slightly dusty legs.
Then they are forced to kiss the legs and Charlotte, the red beast. She's beautiful.
In the wind, her copper-red hair flutters like a battle, proletarian banner.
And men and especially young men smacking in round heels goddess. And lick the calloused feet of the beauty.
Kissed in bare feet and Cristina, and Magda. Also aerobatics girls.
And such warriors strong and muscular. And most importantly, barefoot, cute.
And slender figures, and tiles press! And they are wonderful, and the combat and beautiful.
And each muscle plays, and under tanned skin balls of muscles roll.
That's the girls – super class! In them the force of anger and the flames of passion! And confidence in victory.
The British showered them bare, graceful legs with kisses!
Malta fell, and it became much easier to send troops to Africa. Fuhrer wiser, and most importantly he came up with a logical idea: the Soviet Union is a totalitarian country, and therefore strong. Nearly two hundred million people soldered the Communist ideology and the power.
But in this land from the Soviet Union enough and it will attack anyone not going.
So to attack Russia, you need to prepare.
And what are the Germans tanks? Frankly weak! A Russian on parade the first of may, the KV-2 was seen with a 152-millimeter guns, and the KV-1 with 76-millimeter guns and T-34 tanks is also agile with guns that the Germans penetrate.
And the führer has ordered: to create a counterweight to Russian tanks of their monsters. In particular "Panthers", "Tigers", "Lions" and "Mauses". Good cars for their time, but too heavy.
And expensive and time-consuming! But, the German technique could would compete in this case with Soviet.
In addition, the Germans hoped that soon they will have all of Africa, and they will be able to capture the important resources of the world. And there will be slaves, and troops, and combat units...
All the soldiers of the Wehrmacht strong...
And the girls are great... And great steals!
In Malta, walked, and noted the torture of men. Brutal warriors. Stripped boys, and raped their girls! And all the more entertaining.
Warrior did a lot of singing and shouting:
"No one will stop us, we won't even be defeated by the devil!"
Gerda and her team also attacked the cruiser English. With swords girls has been going on him, and all cut down. And also metal, bare feet sharpened discs.
Rapid such are warriors who will not stop easily and without problems. They go to themselves and destroy sailors. And with both hands itself wave. There was such here are four witches. And Witches are ruthless, absolutely killer.
They run along the deck, flashing round, pink heels, and waving their swords like propeller blades. Cut down the British and humming to himself grinning.
– We are not pathetic girl, voice so sonorous! Crushes the British we famously, that was not it's quiet!
And as will show languages! That's the girls themselves... Real terminators!
Bare toes and the foot as you roll yourself drives, and how to cut down enemies.
Make it very bloody. And throats cut. And so much democratic instinct opened.
Aggressive guys.
And more girls with the muscles of wild animals. And no one can restrain them – such is the element.
The girls are dashing and almost naked. And even the Breasts were bared to look more beautiful.
Gerda sang:
– A cruiser will capture – girls dashing! Such a element, such a element!
Girls and in the case of this scale beauties that will not stop them hurriedly.
They bubble frantic, bustling energy. And simply it's such an aggressive hurricane and an abundance of flame and heat.
Warrior and really just lovely. And can move with a fist to the jaw.
They are here aggressive tendencies of girls that were born with wings and fangs...
Charlotte cuts the British, and squeaks yourself:
– In a battle with us couldn't be beat! I'm a wolf, a tough wolf!
And red-haired beast as the will swings into and resonet sword...
Here the English Admiral got under the payback girls. But what he actually wanted? Who to contact?
The warrior took it and hacked it into pieces!
Christina sang with pleasure:
– There will be a barbecue rifled!
And showed language.
And then barefoot leg threw a disk with sharp edges. She slaughtered five Englishmen at once.
Magda kicked her bare heel, and three Englishmen flew overboard. That's it girl – just savage!
And all four will exclaim:
Thank our gods!
And again slash... hundreds of British chopped. And the survivors fall to their knees and kiss beautiful girls, their strong, chiseled, bare feet.
. CHAPTER 2
After watching interesting dreams, Putin and trump woke up. All the same the jungle around them. Eternal day and three luminaries. It's hot like Africa at noon.
Full of different fruits and game.
The boys-presidents hunted catching up on the hare of the local level. With three ears, and green. They're really fast guys.
Lit a fire by friction – good hands fast and strong. Fried hare, and bit more and bananas with coconuts. And tried pineapples.
Fruit is generally abundant, but the most unearthly, they have followed carefully.
Boys, differing immense speed and strength – faster cheetahs, somehow not being attacked by predators at the time. They were not threatened with starvation or violence. And again they made a run through the jungle...
We entered the river, where they tried to attack the slow crocodiles. Have of course the boys-presidents they tore the mouth and knocked his teeth bare, sturdy legs.
The boys had fun with a fight with the crocodiles. And even collided with a Hippo. Similar to African, but with skin painted in the cage like a chess Board.
The boys kicked him and broke his fangs. Then trump and Putin stabbed the beast with his own tusks until the Behemoth was dead. Coloring the water orange, the color of blood.
After that both the boy didn't pull the carcass ashore. A little cut off from the hippopotamus, again kindled the fire and roasted meat.
Tasty turned out to be a Hippo.
But it was necessary to beat off from predators. Both boys waved their arms and legs fairly.
Lions, tigers, hyenas, and some completely incomprehensible herbs pressed the boys.
Exhausted in the end, already hurt a lot of predators, the guys who once sat on the throne, retreated. More precisely fled...
Even their armor-tough skin was slightly scratched by the claws and fangs of the creatures and all the living creatures.
Although they took a piece of meat.
Again fried and ate... Then climbing higher on the tree decided to sleep.
Putin said:
– Damn it! The jungle does not end!
Trump recalled:
– We need to search the whole universe! What did you want?
Putin hissed:
– Rule the world!
Trump hissed a poisonous snake in response:
I won't!
Putin said with some doubt:
They say, in this universe, the year is only a minute in the. But whether they're lying or not, that's the question!
Trump gently corrected:
– Or wrong! Maybe just the opposite! Suddenly we have a minute, and there for a year!
Putin has reminded:
– And the universe we are in his for another three weeks or more when trained. This means that in our world, the election campaign has already begun in Russia. And this, of course, is interesting. Will my successor Medvedev be able to adequately bear the burden of power?
Trump responded with doubt:
– Don't need to be too high conceit about itself. A success a result of luck, not of your genius... I Must say however, the success of the dragon and the last full year of Stalin – fragile! They like to say based on the past, and the death of the dictatorship after his death. So Putin will go into oblivion, or will be spat upon after leaving power!
The boy-President doubted:
– You think? My reign was successful, even if it was due to luck. And yours? Where finds itself not only the failures and the cries!
Trump the President, the teenager replied with a sigh:
– Too bad idea was to elect the third President since one year. All limits are taken out of luck. But on the other hand trump was not a bit! No one will say that trump got into the war, and lost in disgrace! So on the one hand, there are few achievements, but there are no obvious failures! When you the third with one year, then and limit failures falls!
Putin agreed with this:
– Yes trump was not a bit! He just yelled a lot and a little beat! So threats and reacted!
Trump rigidly noticed:
– If I had such luck, I would have won half the world!
Putin chuckled with a grin:
– Hitler had ten years of luck Genghis Khan, and not enough. And I have twenty years of luck was! Oh, you think, and if it turned out to be the opposite!
Trump logically noticed:
– When a large fortune and the fool the king can be! Was Genghis Khan so clever? Rather, it is lucky than great!
Both boys fell silent, and Putin muttered:
– Okay! We will have a rest a little and there we will look further...
Both presidents fell asleep...
Trump dreamed of...
Here he is Donald trump was in the place of Roosevelt during the second world war. That's all it turned out super chance! Consider the mistakes of your predecessor. And the first mistake: gave rise to the USSR and become a superpower.
Donald trump as no one else understood: Russia can not be given to win the second world war. However, the rapid victory of the Third Reich is also unprofitable for America.
The best option: let them kill each other as long as possible and more.
Well, of course, Donald trump helped Russia a little, before Stalingrad... And there were no special differences with history. And drove the Third Reich out of Africa.
And then he offered Hitler a truce, in exchange for the abolition of anti-Semitic laws.
