Текст книги "PUTIN AND TRUMP SAVE THE UNIVERSE"

Автор книги: Олег Рыбаченко

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  PUTIN AND TRUMP SAVE THE UNIVERSE

  ABSTRACT

  During a historic meeting between Donald trump and Vladimir Putin, both presidents were abducted by supercivilization. As it turned out life in the universe is under threat, and may stop all the processes of reproduction, if you do not return from the parallel universe of powerful, magical artifact. As it turned out, the presidents of the United States and Russia are best suited for this role.

  PROLOGUE

  This summit promised to be historic. The presidents of the two most powerful Nations of the world were finally able to solve urgent problems one-on-one. And the situation in the world is very tense. And instability was growing around the globe. Like the infernal flame of a gigantic fire, roasted blue ball of the planet. It seemed a little more and the dynamite will explode, destroying the universe.

  And this is a historic chance to reconcile the two poles.

  The meeting was held in neutral territory, in the Swedish Palace of Stockholm. Very luxurious residence of kings. Very solemn meeting. With the orchestra, with the March guards. And maybe the chance to stop a new force erupted the cold war.

  Presidents exchanged cold smiles, and evil views.

  Trump firmly shook hands with Putin. And negotiations began behind closed doors.

  The us President immediately took the bull by the horns:

  – The situation in my country is that without serious concessions from the Russian side to compromise, we can't do that.

  The Russian President said with a smile:

  But I can't give you unilateral! If the assignment will be, it is mutual!

  Donald trump hard noticed:

  – Capturing Crimea, you have changed the balance of power in the world! And now we can't come to balance as long as there are territories occupied by Russia.

  Putin dryly replied:

  – We didn't occupy anyone. It was the choice of the Crimean people!

  Trump slyly smiled and slyly noticed:

  – When you lead troops on foreign territory, there, very dashing hold a referendum with a score under one hundred percent! Especially when Hitler annexed Austria!

  The Russian President said quietly:

  – If we hold a second referendum, and allow your observers to all your polling stations, do you recognize the Crimea?

  Trump without offense noticed:

  – Of course not! It is necessary that Ukraine agrees with this!

  Putin said logically:

  – I don't think we can agree! The return of Crimea to Ukraine is not even a discussed issue!

  Trump grunted angrily:

  – But Syria?

  Putin nodded balding head:

  – There are different options!

  The U.S. President paused. He looked at the portraits of the Swedish kings. Here is the biggest, of course, Karl the twelfth. This is the loser monarch, perhaps the most popular in Sweden. Young, not too tall, with expressive eyes and a high forehead. Already in sixteen years, Charles won several victories, including the defeated near Narva much larger army of Peter the great. For some time the Swedish king won, but then luck turned away from him. Trump remembered that Charles the Twelfth also expected to raise Ukraine against Russia. But most of the Cossacks, and the local population was faithful to Peter The great. Then, Karl at all lost and fled to Turkey.

  It's not exactly a pleasant memory. But... How many of the Sweden, and Russia. The US is overwhelmingly superior in both population and economic potential. And they to give?

  Trump said cautiously:

  – Assad is an odious person in the eyes of the us population. And he must go!

  Putin responded typically:

  – Do you want to give Syria to terrorists?

  The tramp shrugged his shoulders and replied:

  – The people of Syria will decide in free elections who will rule them!

  Putin responded harshly:

  – People have already chosen Assad!

  Trump objected:

  – Under authoritarian regimes, there are no fair elections!

  The President of Russia logically noted:

  – Only a tough regime can keep Islamists in check. You want it to be like Iraq?

  Trump noticed banging his fist on the table:

  – We will make sure that the democratic regime suppresses terrorists! And suppress the enemy by force!

  Putin chuckled and offered:

  – So suppress terrorists, but do not interfere with the life of the Syrian people! We are also not against democracy in Syria, but the people should not impose anything. Especially other people's models! We can look at spheres of influence, but not regime change. And, of course, we will not remove our bases from Syria!

  Trump clenched his fists and angrily said:

  – You support dictatorships everywhere!

  The Russian President retorted:

  – Dictatorship is a relative concept. In the US two parties dominate. What is not the Communist party split into slightly to the left and slightly to the right.

  Trump responded harshly:

  – Yeah! You formally have four parties, only one with a constitutional majority, and the rest have signed up for cooperation!

  Putin wanted to answer, but suddenly She is... the Girl is tall, athletic figure and short skirt. High heels clicked, bare, tanned knees flashed. Hair in girls went down below shoulders,curls and shone like gold leaf. Face fresh and very nice, the pupils of the eyes shone emerald-sapphire crystal protein.

  Actually it was such beauty, bright, defiant, yet gentle.

  Trump and Putin glared at the girl. They were shocked. In the hands of the girls was a Golden tray, and two glass of scarlet wine.

  The Russian President asked in surprise:

  – Who are you?

  The girl bared her pearly teeth in a smile and said::

  – Captain Albina at your service! Drink wine from king Solomon's personal supply and you will see the world with much kinder eyes!

  Putin also smiled back:

  "I've heard of you, Albina, but I didn't think you were so beautiful.

  Trump agreed, and extended his hand:

  – I can't take my eyes off you! I've never seen anything so dazzling!

  The girl was allowed to shake hands with the President and noticed:

  – You will never agree, if you do not drink wine, giving wisdom and patience!

  The Russian President nodded to Trump:

  – Drink boldly! Security's on top!

  The us President grinned and winked at the beauty replied:

  – Of these pens, I would gladly even would have accepted even the poison.

  Both leaders of the two great empires took wine glasses in their hands. Went nuts and said:

  – Yes there will be peace!

  And one spirit of drained crystal capacity.

  Trump enthusiastically said:

  And it became much easier and more fun!

  Putin wanted to answer, but ... Suddenly everything spun in front of his eyes, as if they were on a centrifuge. Then, as if erupted at once, a thousand photoblitz... And all is lost – piled impenetrable darkness.

  . CHAPTER 1.

  In Putin's head flashed: after all poisoned bastards. Could get it!

  The President of Russia, however, did not feel any nausea or pain, on the contrary, it became easier for an elderly, exhausted by state cares body.

  The Russian President opened his eyes and immediately closed his eyes. Around him was a stunning and very motley luxury. Something so bright, colorful, and diverse. Even hurt my eyes. But obviously it was not the former Palace of the Swedish king.

  Putin looked around a little, he was sitting on a luxurious, like a Royal throne chair. And on his right hand was... well, trump! The American President, in person, and also sitting, blinking blue eyes.

  Putin personally respected trump managed to win the presidential election, when all the media worked against him. Sometimes I even asked myself-could he win, if against him was the full power of state propaganda?

  In such a situation, Putin has not fought for power! It turned out somehow easier, when you openly walk-through opponents like Zyuganov and Zhirinovsky, which resembled boxers falling yet has not sounded the Gong.

  And trump was able to break the system – that not everyone is given!

  Well, the hall, what a huge and luxurious, even in Versailles was not of such size and wealth. And all the screaming, defiant...

  And here is already familiar Albina, shaking your hips, like a snake moving her Golden hair. She's beautiful, but her eyes are like a spotlight.

  Putin wanted to ask the girl, but he was ahead of trump:

  – Well, what the hell is this??

  The girl laughed, and showed his sudden lengthening the tongue, flashed pearly teeth, and suddenly the low voice said:

  – For you matters only that you now in our hands, helpless and weak!

  Putin surprised asked:

  – Are you a terrorist?

  The girl laughed... Then into the air appeared two other girls, also sports, in short skirts and high heels. One red-red, the other with hair whiter than snow. Three girls in a ringing voice in unison said:

  – No! We are those who are able to give a lot even to those who have everything!

  Trump grinned and gurgled:

  What can you give me? And I get the glory, wealth, a beautiful wife, power over the most powerful country in the world!

  The girl with the Golden hair noticed:

  "But you are mortal, and even your billions cannot restore your youth!"

  Trump sighed heavily and noticed:

  Yeah that's what I miss... Although I am old in body only, but the soul is always young!

  Putin is interested asked:

  – Can you get your youth back?

  The girls replied in unison:

  – You can, of course, ' Beauty replied in unison. – But of course not for nothing!

  The tramp smiled, rubbed his precious arms plush seats and asked:

  – And in return? Our souls?

  The girls laughed louder. Suddenly there was a cool fancy car, beauties sat on it. And a thunderous voice sounded:

  – Do you have any of them? You politicians-cunning, mean, unscrupulous!

  Putin shook his head and said on duty:

  – We are not for a policy of double standards!

  The girls replied in unison:

  – And if we don't know all of your dirty political jota and intrigue! Do not try to deceive us, we just need people like you!

  There was a pause. Putin shivered. He is now entirely in the hands of some strange, maybe alien gang. They may well put it together with trump in a vacuum. And this is just not desirable. Now, for sure, their disappearance with trump has caused panic around the world. You have to turn around and out.

  As in his time, when Sobchak got confused in crime, Putin himself was on the verge of interrupting his career, one managed to turn around and get to the top. To rise so high that Vladimir Vladimirovich didn't dare to dream at all. But hanging on the edge...

  Here too will turn out. And Putin with a captivating smile said:

  – We are at your service!

  The girl was amused and, Baring her teeth, said:

  – Well, that's business talk! Our capabilities are great ... we have mastered the secrets of organic and can suppress you eternal youth and infinite happiness, but...

  And again a pause... Putin was silent, and more impatient trump asked in surprise:

  "But if you are so powerful, what can two old men give you?"

  The girls replied in unison:

  We're really strong, and our civilization conquered the galaxies while you earthlings were still climbing trees. But we have our weaknesses... which we'd better not mention, as you don't have to know. However, you will help us, and in return you will receive bodies that will not age, and even kill you will be almost impossible!

  The President of the United States trump whistled:

  Wow! This is really a prize for which you can work hard! I'm not interested in why you need us. I'm wondering what is the guarantee that our bodies won't age then? The billionaire winked and added. I know you! Then you say-sorry, they say, it happened!

  Girls have grown a bit in size. Their beauty is dazzling. Nebozhitelnitsa replied in unison:

  – We never cheat! Said done! Your bodies will be virtually invulnerable, with full regeneration, and you can live almost indefinitely. Stem cells will divide, and renew in eternity, as a mechanism of the cycle in nature. As part of the energy you take from the stars and space...– the Girl winked slyly and added. But to kill you though difficult, but still possible, like us. However, old age in such a body will never come. Plus some superpowers. You can enjoy eternal life and power on planet Earth.

  Trump sincerely noticed:

  "Then I would prefer to rule the planet alone, without my colleague!"

  Girl-the demiurge laughed and said:

  – We can create it for you on a single planet the size of Jupiter, and with a population of a trillion beautiful, eternally young and obedient subjects. Is that okay?

  Putin said skeptically:

  – The size of Jupiter? But we'll be flattened by gravity.

  All three girls chirped in chorus:

  – The density of the planet will be less, and the gravity is similar to the earth. We can do a lot of things!

  Putin wanted to clarify:

  – And if we still refuse such a flattering offer.

  Three girls merged in one. My beautiful hair became a fiery red, and stinging. Then the female instantly grew. Both presidents became small and appeared at it on a palm.

  The girl thundered.:

  – Do you have a choice?

  Trump grunted and poked Putin in the shoulder:

  – You know Vova, it seems that we really have no choice. All the more immortality this...

  Girl according to nodded her:

  – No! Your bodies are already virtually dead, and the soul, we can send to cybernetic hell. Where terrible nightmares await her. So either eternity in hell or eternity in an immortal, eternally young body – by choice. Power over the people, or subjects created by us!

  Putin thought for a moment. Say no? It's death. While it may not be right. They supercivilization is even necessary. So it is unlikely they will be so easily finished off.

  Likely to torture, pressure extruding. Combine promises and threats. And sooner or later they'll break it anyway. So resistance is useless and will only cause unnecessary suffering. Truth and trust the girls cannot be. After the mission, they can just throw. Or liquidate, or to throw into hell. What there can be guarantees. And no amount of oaths will not help.

  On the other hand, if they really have a choice. No – it's death and torment. Yes, some hope of immortality and eternal power. In addition, during the mission is quite possible force majeure.

  And Putin said decisively:

  – Our choice is clear! It's an honor to help girls like you! And as for power – prefer to rule the Earth!

  Trump stamped his foot and said:

  "I would rather rule the planet with obedient and eternally young people. Just make it the size of the star Sirius and a quadrillion subjects in the course of normal gravity. And let the subjects be smart and inventive to create more and more fun!

  The girl changed her fiery red hair to white and said::

  – They will be even very inventive! And you President Putin will get power over the entire planet Earth.... Only of course after you've done everything! Not before!

  Trump in a business inquired:

  – What guarantees?

  The girl answered honestly:

  – Our word! You see, when a king in ancient times was given the job to his servants other warranties of awards but the word of the monarch was not required!

  Trump suggested:

  "Perhaps you could give us the most precious thing you have."

  Hairstyle have girls has become black as coal and she hissed. Trump and Putin was doused by a wave. Beauty roared:

  – The most precious thing we have you just have to get! And do not require more guarantees! It's you people, the vows, and we hypershop, every word is true!

  Impatient trump roared:

  – What exactly are we supposed to get?

  The girl gently said:

  – More about this later! For now!

  The scenery changed instantly. The two presidents found themselves in an even larger room. It looks like a colossal stadium with a great many boxes, decorated with all the colors of the rainbow, extremely colorful. And the boxes sat, stood, fumbling girl. Stunner. Many millions of very beautiful and elegant girls. All were precious stones, half elegant shoes, half barefoot. Almost naked, but hung with beads, bracelets, chains, amulets, and hair of different colors pinned brooches, some tiaras of gems.

  It is difficult to imagine anything more beautiful, aesthetic and seductive at the same time.

  Loving trump stuck out his eyes and exclaimed:

  – Wow! Just aerobatics!

  Putin replied more calmly:

  – I've never seen so many beauties!

  A huge girl with a multicolored hairdo and a crown appeared before the presidents. She was not simply beautiful, there is no so say nothing not say. It was a real, bright, fascinating, dazzling deity.

  The girl hissed:

  – Men! Now we will give you new bodies, and we will send to the parallel universe! Swear that you will fulfill the order given to you.

  Trump grinned and replied:

  Do you believe in the power of the oath?

  The goddess snarled menacingly and roared.:

  "If you deceive us, we will burn The earth." All your relatives and friends will be killed. I offer you eternal life and power! You will get us what we need for our civilization!

  Trump winked at the girl and said conciliatory:

  Don't boil! We will do what you ask! In exchange for immortality and power!

  Putin modestly noticed:

  – But you can't negotiate the language of threats! And I would like you to do something for humanity.

  Goddess smiled and answered:

  – Humanity? I can give eternal youth to all people, but what about resettlement?

  Trump with a sly smile offered:

  – But if the Ground to do more? That would be awesome!

  Putin gave a sly wink and added:

  And this planet is growing, without increasing the gravity, and that it always covered the sun. – Then Russian President corrected himself and said. – That was many suns, which also would breed division and always lit up the Earth. Planet, on which a permanent summer, and rains go, when need to and the total number of resources immeasurably.

  The goddess grinned and grew even bigger. Waves swept across space. Girl-the demiurge boomed:

  – What do you think that it is possible and to sit on the head! But I can bring you down to such a hell that Dante will seem an innocent child!

  Millions of girls threw up their fists and screamed:

  – There are no irreplaceable people! Find other fighters!

  Putin and trump felt as if they were squeezed by an invisible Anaconda. And it really hurt. And it burned like a hot iron. Presidents are in a tight spot.

  The girl in the sparkling with all the colors of the rainbow crown, chirped:

  – My last word – eternal youth for you personally, and the power of the planet! In case of failure, you will experience pain in a billion dimensions, a trillion circles of hell will pass!

  The two presidents looked at each other. Wink... In fact can the mouse in the cat's claws to bargain? I heard the tortured:

  – I agree! No other way!

  The girl in the crown has decreased dramatically, and was the same height with trump and Putin. Her wonderful beauty is unique, and even apparently Leonardo DaVinci can not afford to capture this. The girl stamped her heel and chirped.

  – You are going to fly with me... I will give you what the old men of the planet earth dream!

  Here trump could not resist the question:

  – Why do we only see girls? Don't you have any men?

  The beauty in the crown put a finger to her lips and said in a half-voice:

  – That's it... the Only pulsating, the jade phallus disappeared. And only a man can find it!

  Even Putin could not resist and whistled:

  – Wow! And it happens!

  The scenery has changed. Blew an icy wind, and they were in huge, consisting of some mirrors spherical shape of the hall.

  Now the Queen was barefoot, and leaving behind delicate traces on the mirror surface.

  With each step, the goddess of the female world grew in size and became more transparent.

  Trump mumbled:

  – Okay ... so she's even sexier!

  The Queen girl ran to the mirror wall and disappeared. There was a gentle voice:

  – Now let's start...

  A Golden stream of light poured over the two presidents. And the rays seemed material like a jet of rain. Trump, feeling tickled, laughed...

  Putin was more reserved.

  It was both pleasant and disturbing. The presidents mechanically joined hands.

  Putin felt the firm handshake of trump. And then something new in the body.

  Indeed something changed. In fact, their bodies were becoming increasingly blurry, as if the water was blurring the paint. And the flesh itself turned into rubber, or jelly. However, the feeling was very pleasant and even invigorating. You're becoming like butter yourself.

  Putin thought that something similar he felt, having received a post of the Prime Minister, and Yeltsin's successor. It was a little unexpected.

  Then the Director of the FSB was just afraid that it will be removed for the fact that his office missed the RAID by the militants in Dagestan. And how pleased that fell into the hands of enormous power. And even the Communists did not dare to put a spoke in the wheel!

  The rays of light that tickled the two presidents constantly changed their color. And it became hot like boiling water, but rather bitter. The image of trump and Putin finally blurred and became indistinguishable.

  Putin felt that he seemed to spread, and the body loses its support. He experienced something similar when the results of the elections to the Duma in 2011 were announced. The same feeling as if luck is leaving you, and fortune is turning away. You think your most glorious deeds are over. And who could assume that then there will be a fantastic accession of the Crimea. But really, it seems everything is there, but health goes. And have no strength to go for a fifth term!

  And here offer you eternal youth! And eternal power! It makes you dizzy!

  Trump also felt at ease. Get this... but now. You're melting like an icicle....

  The President of America was not very successful in foreign policy. North Korea showed teeth and many believe it scared the US. From Syria, trump announced that America is leaving. And the Yankees are leaving Afghanistan. The only thing in Venezuela managed to throw hemorrhoid Maduro and put their man. But still not the fact that he will be obedient and will not get out of control.

  However, at some point in politics as if everything turned out. And now you need to go on an adventure. For the search for the phallus supercivilization consisting of some girls! It's driving me crazy!

  Trump loved to play poker, and secretly envied Putin, a damn good politician – who managed to do the impossible: the Crimea to attach without a shot! In fact, none of the action is not fired a gun. Although to explain this...

  In General, at some point in the United States collapsed test. Just an incredible terrorist attack on September 11. The war in Afghanistan, which America does not need, is bogged down in Iraq. That economic crises, the rise of China. Strengthening the military power of Russia. And internal disagreements when the President faces impeachment and a congressional Commission is created.

  Another thing is Putin, who never had disagreements with the Parliament, and even the Communists only imitated opposition. Now this is democracy.

  Trump deep down dreamed of dictatorship. But he lacked the social support to carry out the coup. Yes, and in the United States has long been a democracy, and there is no desire of society to move to authoritarianism. With all the problems, America is the most powerful and influential country in the world under a democratic regime. So is it worth it to become autocracy. All the more authoritarianism is prone to self-degeneration. Dictators, as a rule, pull weaker successors. Is it possible to compare, for example, Maduro and charismatic Hugo Chavez?

  In America, by tradition, the turnover of elites, which provides a dynamic development of society. So there is hope that China will rot in its autocracy and totalitarianism, and the US will still take up. And Putin is not eternal.

  Trump and Putin stopped seeing each other. They seemed to dissolve, dissolved in multicolored, caressing, tickling rays. Then they were covered with burning, then cold.

  Trump thought it was like the first sex, when a young virgin throws it in the heat, then in the cold. And such a unique feeling. But when you're a teenager then it's probably the most happy time in your life. You're not working yet, at least not all the time, but you're barely learning. And you discover the adult world.

  In General, trump is used to living under stress. But being President of the United States is a great punishment. Although the economy was just all very well and, wages in America grew at a record pace. But foreign policy... Well, that at least managed to break off Maduro. At least some visible foreign policy success. And you look at new elections with optimism.

  After all, it would really be a shame to lose only after one term and become a failed President. Two terms is the minimum for a successful ruler who wants America to remain a world hegemon for the whole world and increase its influence and power. And prevent China from becoming a new Empire? And Russia? Putin will leave, and friendship will be restored! In any case, there is hope that common sense will prevail. Trump, however, even glad of such a confrontation – how many defense orders will receive the US military-industrial complex.

  What about the third term? No there's and the trump says: probably not!

  The feelings of both presidents grew into a feeling of endless falling into a bottomless well ... Then followed a super-bright flash!

  Consciousness seemed, for a brief a moment, has been extinguished.