Текст книги "Command"

Автор книги: Nina Levine

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4

Harlow

“It’s nearly seven, babe. Do you need to be at work by eight?”

I cracked one eye open and attempted to get my bearings. Scott’s legs came into sight as the sunlight streaming through the window hit me. Squeezing my eyes closed again, I grumbled, “Why is it seven already?”

Scott chuckled and the bed dipped as he sat next to me. His hand trailed down my back and then he pressed a kiss to my shoulder. “This is why you’ve gotta stop doing those shifts at Indigo. You’re exhausted.”

My eyes blinked open and I rolled onto my back. “I’m not exhausted; I just wish I had more time in bed this morning.”

The way his brows pulled together told me he didn’t believe me. “When’s your next shift at Indigo?”

“Tomorrow night.” I sat up and pushed the sheet off me. Swinging my legs off the bed, I stood so I could go to the toilet. Scott, however, moved fast and blocked me.

“I’ll take you and pick you up tomorrow; you were in no shape to drive last night.”

He was right. He’d arranged with one of his boys to get my car home early in the night so that he could pick me up at the end of my shift, and I’d been so tired when he arrived. Smiling up at him, I nodded. “I agree. Thank you.”

“Fuck me, did I just hear that right?” he muttered.

“No need to be a smartass about it.” I pushed him gently so I could move past him, and his eyes crinkled into a smile. God, I was a sucker for those crinkles. He could ask me to do anything and I would do it if he flashed them at me.

I showered and got ready for work, and then met him in the kitchen where he had coffee ready for me. Taking it from him, I drank some before saying, “Your mother called me yesterday.”

The way he said, “Yeah,” made me think he already knew this.

“Did you know she was going to?”

He drank some of his coffee while his gaze moved to mine. “She told me she was going to try and organise to meet up with you.”

I leant against the counter and cradled my mug with both hands. “Scott, she was so strange on the phone that I didn’t know what to say. I think I must have come across all wrong.” Just thinking about it now caused my body to tense up. Making a good impression on his mother rated high on my list of priorities, and I’d been so caught off guard when she rang that I ended up rambling like an idiot.

“Just be you. She’s feeling as nervous as you are.”

“That’s all you’re gonna give me?” I stared at him, hoping he’d share at least a little bit more about how I should deal with his mother.

He rinsed his mug and placed it in the dish rack. “I don’t know much more than you, Harlow. She’s been ringing me to check on you and I suggested to her yesterday it would be a fuck of a lot easier if she just rang you direct. And then she said she’d try to organise girl time with you, or some shit like that.”

As he tried to move past me, I put my hand on his arm to halt him. “She’s been ringing you? Like, more than once?”

“Yes.” He seemed frustrated with me.

“Don’t you get like that at me,” I warned. “Getting to know your mother is important to me, and I’m going to need your help.”

His eyes crinkled again and he dropped a kiss onto my lips before swiping his keys off the counter and saying, “I’ll talk to you about this tonight because I’ve gotta head out now. When are you seeing her?”

“We’re having lunch together in a couple of days.”

He nodded and slid an arm around my waist. His eyes softened as he asked, “You good today, baby?”

I knew he referred to my rollercoaster emotions. “I’m good,” I replied, my voice a little breathy because when Scott did soft, it made me a little breathless. I loved that he didn’t give that softness to everyone; he made me feel special.

With one last kiss, he let me go and took a few steps towards the front door before pausing and turning back to face me. “That bossy shit you just pulled on me is hot, sweetheart. I’m loving the fuck out of this new side to you.”

I watched him leave; disappointed we both had work today. It would have been the perfect day to stay home in bed together.

Nine hours later, I’d finished another long day at the café and had dropped into the supermarket to grab some meat for dinner when Scott texted me.

Scott: I’m gonna be late tonight. Can you check in on Michelle and Lisa?

Me: Sure. You okay?

Scott: Some club stuff just went down. Will tell you when I get home.

Me: Okay. I’ll take care of Michelle. You just concentrate on you and don’t worry about us.

He didn’t reply after that and concern edged its way into my mind – Scott usually phoned rather than texting. However, I pushed the worry to the side and concentrated on taking care of what he’d asked me to do. I grabbed everything I would need for dinner, as well as the ingredients to make Michelle some soup because I knew from previous experience it was something she would eat, and then headed home.

After dumping everything inside, I made my way next door.

“Hi Harlow,” Lisa greeted me after I waited nearly five minutes for her to answer the door, and I realised she was now also sick.

“Hey, honey. You’re not feeling well?” I stepped inside, closed the door behind me, and followed her into her bedroom where she slumped onto her bed, curling into a ball.

“My throat is so sore.” She could barely get the words out, and my sympathy kicked into gear. Lisa didn’t get sick often and she never complained, so for her to telling me this meant she must be feeling awful.

“You’re burning up,” I said as I placed my hand on her forehead. “Have you taken some Advil?”

She nodded, but didn’t speak again.

“I’m just going to get a washer and I’m also going to check on your mum, okay?”

Again, a nod, but no words.

I left her and found Michelle asleep in her bed. Pressing my hand to her forehead, I found that her fever seemed to have broken. Thank goodness.

A couple of minutes later, I sat with Lisa on her bed and tried to cool her a little with a cold washer. She shifted so that she could curl into my lap, and a little while later she was asleep.

As I sat with her, running my hand gently over her head in an attempt to help her sleep, pain sliced through my heart as I thought about doing this for my own child. I loved Lisa as if she was my own, but after losing my baby, everything felt different. Doing this for Lisa was high on my priorities, however doing it for my own child one day was something I prayed I would get to do.

Lisa fell into a deep sleep, and I tried to leave her a couple of times, but each time she clung to me, clearly not ready for me to leave. Eventually, I fell asleep with her, not waking until Scott touched my shoulder.

“Harlow.” His voice broke through my sleep and I blinked my eyes open to find him staring down at me.

I smiled up at him and this time when I moved, Lisa shifted onto her side and continued to sleep. “Hi, you,” I whispered as I stood.

He jerked his chin at Lisa. “She sick, too?”

“Yeah, poor baby, her throat is really sore and she has a fever.”

His arm slid around my waist and he pulled me close so he could kiss me. “Sorry I’m so late.”

As we left Lisa’s room, I asked, “What time is it?” The only thing indicating to me how long I’d slept was the crick in my neck.

“It’s nearly eleven.”

I frowned as concern snaked through me again. “Is everything okay with the club?”

He led me into Michelle’s living room and we sat on the couch. “I’m not sure. We’ve been doing some digging on that drug dealer I mentioned to you the other day, Julio, and I’ve gotta head down to Adelaide with J and Nash to check out his connections down there.”

My heart beat a little faster. “Should I be worried now? I mean, usually you just send the boys to look into stuff while you stay here. What’s making you go this time?”

His eyes held mine and I didn’t fail to detect the uncertainty clear in them. “I’m not gonna say this is nothing to worry about because I believe it is something to be very concerned about. But I don’t want you to panic at the same time. Griff and Wilder will be staying in Brisbane, along with Rogue, Colt and Gunnar. Blade will also be around, as will his men, so I’m not worried for your safety. I do need you to be alert, though, sweetheart. Just keep to your usual routine because I’ve got eyes on all club members’ families now and the usual routines are important for that.”

I blinked a few times as I took that information in. Scott will keep us all safe. “When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow morning, about five. It’ll take us three days to get there, so all up we’ll be gone either six or seven days.” He watched me closely, obviously waiting for my response.

I wanted to tell him not to go, and to tell him that I needed him home now, more than ever, but I didn’t. I simply nodded my understanding. And then I tried to reassure him I would stay safe – I didn’t want him spending unnecessary energy worrying over me when he clearly needed to conserve that energy for the club. “I’ll keep to my usual routines. Is there anything else you need me to do while you’re away?”

“Yes, can you keep an eye on Madison and Velvet? I’m sure they’ll be fine, but I want us all to be looking out for each other. I don’t want to take any chances on this, not when I don’t know enough about this asshole.”

“Will do, baby,” I promised. “And I’ll make sure Michelle and Lisa are okay, too. I think Michelle is getting better – her fever seems to have passed.”

He stood. “We should stay here tonight in case either of them need us.” Eyeing the couch, he added, “I know it will be uncomfortable, but I don’t want to leave them when they’re both sick.”

Standing next to him, I shook my head in disagreement. “No, you should go home and get a good night’s rest. I’ll sleep here on the couch.”

“The couch is fine for me.”

Of course he would argue with me, but I decided to put my foot down on this one; no way did I want Scott to attempt a long ride after a night of shitty sleep. “You need your sleep, Scott. We don’t both need to be here. I mean, chances are they won’t even wake up.”

His brows pulled together the way they did when he was about to argue with me. “Harlow -” he began, but I cut him off.

“No,” I said forcefully. “Don’t argue with me because I’m not backing down on this. I’ve told you I’ll do what you asked while you’re away; the only thing I’m asking is for you to get some sleep tonight.” I kept my eyes trained on his, letting him know I had no intention of giving in.

After watching me for a good few moments, he finally caved with a raise of his brows. “Okay, sweetheart, you win. I’ll be back just before five to say goodbye.” He planted a deep kiss on my lips and then left me to head over to our house.

I gathered up a pillow and blanket, and settled onto the couch for some sleep. My body was weary and I knew it wouldn’t take me long to fall asleep, not even on this pain-inducing couch.

My last thoughts as I drifted off were that I could do six days without Scott; of course I could. But they’d be some long days filled with worry, and spent missing him. I’d miss his reassuring presence. On the days I doubted myself, Scott gave me wings, and I hoped the physical distance between us wouldn’t change that.

5

Harlow

“Baby, wake up.”

I attempted to roll over, but the pain shooting through my hip and up along my back caused me to wince and halt my movement. Not a good way to start a day. After a few moments, I tried again, and this time was able to roll over. When I opened my eyes, I found Scott crouching next to the couch I lay on. “Morning,” I mumbled, my voice all groggy and my thoughts jumbled as to why I was asleep on Michelle’s couch.

“Fuck, I knew I should have stayed here and let you go home,” he muttered, his voice sounding as annoyed as his face looked. “Can you move?”

I nodded. “Yes.” But even as the word came out, I knew it was a lie, or at least, a partial lie. I could probably move, but it would hurt.

“Bullshit.” He called me out, and I simply smiled at him rather than arguing with him about it.

Wincing as I sat, I placed my palm against his cheek. “I love you for caring, baby, but I will be okay. Once I get going and have a shower, the stiffness will ease. How did you sleep?”

The way he paused momentarily told me everything I needed to know; he hadn’t slept well. However, he tried to reassure me. “I’ve had enough sleep.” He’d placed his hands on my thighs when I sat, and he now ran them up my legs to my waist. Gripping me there, he said, “Fuck, I need more time with you, but I’ve gotta go.” My disappointment matched his.

I took hold of his face as I nodded. “I know.”

Pressing his body into mine, he caught my lips in a kiss. I hated the fact I had morning breath and that this would be the last kiss we’d share for a week, but there was no time to change this, so I kissed him back. He didn’t seem to care because he deepened the kiss to the point where he had me panting for more. But again, there was no time for more.

When he finally ended the kiss, he growled, “Fuck…I need to fuck you before I go.” His eyes were all over me, and his hands moved to slide under my ass. “A week without you is gonna fuckin’ kill me.”

I knew how he felt – I felt the same way. My hands moved to his belt. “I need you, too.” God, how I needed him.

Our hands were a wild tangle of fighting against the clock to get enough clothes off so we could say goodbye in the one way we both needed. Sex was the glue that held us together at the moment in a way that nothing else could. Even when I felt like the words I spoke were all wrong and not useful in moving us back together after I’d held him away, the sex reassured me that we’d be okay.

“Harlow.” Lisa’s voice cut through the darkness and my body stilled.

Shit.

Scott pulled away from me and quickly did up his pants before standing. Turning to face her, he said, “Hey, darlin’, how you feeling?”

He moved towards her as I gathered my thoughts.

“I think I’m going to vomit,” she admitted, sounding disoriented from sleep.

Moving fast, he took her to the bathroom and I could hear his soothing voice as he looked after her. Eventually, I stood and stretched my body. The pain had eased a little, allowing me to move without too much trouble.

Knowing that Scott had to leave, I joined them in the bathroom. “You should go,” I suggested as his eyes came to mine. “I’ll take over with Lisa.”

Conflict sat heavy in his eyes. He was clearly torn about leaving. When his phone sounded with a text, he muttered, “Fuck.” After checking it he found my gaze again. “I hate leaving you like this, but that was J…I gotta go.”

I nodded. “I know,” I whispered.

We swapped positions so I could take over with Lisa. His hand settled around my waist for a moment and he kissed me goodbye. God, what a way to say goodbye – standing in the toilet as you waited for a child to vomit. And both of us frustrated by no goodbye sex.

He rested his forehead against mine and remained silent for a beat. When he finally lifted it, he said, “I swear, I’m gonna make this asshole pay for dragging me away from you.” His tone made it clear he would follow through on that promise.

I squeezed his hand. “Okay, you should go before I try and stop you from leaving.”

He hesitated for another minute and then blew out a long breath. “Yeah,” he said gruffly.

After saying goodbye to Lisa, and after giving me one more kiss, he left us. My heart constricted and I wondered again how I would get through the next six or seven days.

You’ll be fine and he’ll be home soon.

And yet, a sense of foreboding had lodged itself deep in the pit of my stomach.

What if he isn’t as invincible as he thinks he is?

I was supposed to work at the café that day and then at Indigo that night. My dilemma over this centred on the fact Lisa and Michelle were both sick. If I’d believed Michelle was well enough to care for Lisa, I would have had no problem leaving them to go to work. But she was far from being well enough to do that.

My saving grace appeared in the most unlikely form.

Scott’s mother.

She phoned me a couple of hours after Scott left, to see how I was doing.

“Madison told me that Scott and J left for Adelaide this morning. I’m just calling to see if there is anything I can do to help you while Scott’s away,” she said.

I sighed as I slumped down into a chair at Michelle’s kitchen table. I’d just gotten Lisa back to sleep after giving her more Advil. My weariness caused my tongue to loosen in a way it never had around Sharon. “Can you work some shifts for me at my mum’s café and then at Indigo? That’s my biggest worry today,” I blurted out, not really meaning for her to do what I’d asked – it was more a way for me to get my frustrations out.

She was silent for a moment, probably trying to process my strange request. And then she came through for me. “I’ve got the day off today. I can help however you need me to, Harlow. What’s going on?”

I sat up straight. “Really? That would be awesome, because Lisa and Michelle are really sick and I feel like they need someone to stay and help them. Maybe you could do that while I go to work.”

She didn’t hesitate. “I can be there in half an hour.”

Relief coursed through me. “Thank you so much, Sharon. I really appreciate it.”

“I’ll see you soon,” she promised and hung up, leaving me staring at my phone with a mixture of surprise and gratitude.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” I murmured before dragging myself off the chair so I could go home and get showered and dressed for work.

Just after half an hour later, Sharon turned up and I let her in as I combed my wet hair.

“You look exhausted, honey,” she said as I led her into the kitchen. I’d spent a little bit of time with her since she and Scott had started rebuilding their relationship, but the awkwardness I’d always felt remained. I wished it away, but figured that would just take time.

I finished combing my hair and gave her my full attention. “I do feel really tired. I’ve been working a lot of double shifts lately because Indigo is short-staffed and need me.”

She turned thoughtful. “You know, I could take on some of those shifts for you, if you want.”

I stared at her. She could definitely do those shifts because she knew everything about working a bar after Layla had trained her. “That would be great. I’ll mention it to Wilder today and get him to contact you to see which ones match up with your schedule.” Why had I not thought of this already?

Her face spread into a smile as if I’d made her day. “Okay, I’m glad we got that sorted. Scott would never have asked me; he doesn’t like to involve me with the club much any more.” Sadness weaved its way through her words and touched me. I’d noticed that about Scott also.

A flash of boldness overtook me and I acknowledged the elephant in the room. “Sharon, why have we never taken the time to get to know one another?”

Uncertainty filled her features and she hesitated with her reply. “That’s on me, Harlow. I know you tried to reach out to me a few times over the last year, but for one reason or another, I was reluctant to get close. My relationship with Scott went to virtually non-existent while I was still living in denial over Marcus, so I kept myself away. Probably because deep down I knew Scott wanted to push me into facing who his father really was, and I wasn’t ready to face that. And now after Marcus’s death, I’ve struggled to find myself. It’s stupid, really, because you’d think his death would be the perfect opportunity for me to start over, but change and me don’t do well together.” Her honesty and willingness to be vulnerable inspired me to lay myself out there for her, too.

“I’ve learnt that finding yourself is hard work,” I said softly. “It’s like this never-ending struggle with doubt, and fear, and hope. And it’s like a rollercoaster ride of feeling good about yourself one day and then down the next. God, some days I can be up and down five times in one freaking hour. Drives me insane.”

She smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I know that feeling all too well.”

I cocked my head, feeling reflective, and glad to be having this discussion. Not everyone liked to admit their struggles; I always felt relief whenever someone opened themselves up like this. “Why do we do it to ourselves?”

She sighed. “I have no idea. And you’d think that by my age I should, but I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll ever get to a point where I’ve got all this shit about myself figured out.”

“Let’s start over,” I suggested.

“You and me, you mean?”

“Yes. Let’s put everything that has happened over the last twelve months behind us and start afresh. I want you in our lives, and so does Scott.”

Her face creased in a frown. “I think Scott and I have a lot of work ahead of us before he’ll let me back in fully. But I’m happy that you and I can get to know each other now.”

“Scott’s a moody bastard, you know that. Take my word for it – he might not tell you or show you very well, but he wants you in his life. He might need some gentle encouragement, though, to acknowledge it.” I gave her a huge smile and then added, “I’m so glad we got to have this conversation today. I’ve been a little nervous about our lunch date.”

The tense set of her shoulders disappeared and she returned my smile. “Me too. Now, tell me what you need me to do today.”

I filled her in on Lisa and Michelle, and took her over to their house. They were both sleeping, so I woke Michelle up to let her know what was happening. She was so ill that she only nodded her agreement and then fell straight back asleep.

After I made sure Sharon had everything she needed, I headed back home to finish getting ready for work, and then drove to the café while ignoring the tickle in my throat. I had no time to be sick.

“I spoke with Sharon,” Wilder said to me that night after I arrived at Indigo for my shift. I’d told him that morning to call her. “She’s gonna pick up some of your shifts at Indigo.”

“Thank God.”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “Are you coming down with something?”

“No, I’m just tired, that’s all.” I followed him into the office and asked, “Have you heard from Scott or any of the boys?”

“No. You?”

I shook my head. “No.” I’d tried not to think about them all day, but it had been a futile attempt. I’d also struggled to think about anything else besides Lisa and her mother.

Wilder stopped what he was doing and came to me. “Harlow, you don’t need to worry about Scott. He’s got this shit covered.” Wilder was a good guy and the way he spoke to me, with care, just reinforced what I already knew.

“I know you’re trying to reassure me and I appreciate it, and I’m trying not to worry, but it’s just my nature to always think about those I love. I have faith that he’ll be okay, though.”

His gaze held mine for another few moments and then he nodded. “I’ll let you know when I hear something, but my bet’s on him calling you before he calls us.”

Smiling at him, I said, “Thank you.” Taking a step backwards and out of the office, I added, “I better go get ready for my shift.”

“I’ve gotta head out soon, but I’ve got Rogue stationed out front keeping an eye on security. Just let him know if anything strange happens, yeah?”

“Will do,” I agreed before leaving him to head to the staff room.

I ran into Rogue in the hallway, not loving the way his gaze zoomed in on my chest. “Hi, gorgeous,” he greeted me. His voice grated on me as much as his gaze did.

Fixing an icy glare on him, I said, “Don’t call me gorgeous. And I don’t appreciate your eyes on my chest.”

He raised his brows. “You’re fuckin’ kidding me, aren’t you?”

“No, I’m not fucking kidding you,” I snapped, my irritation jumping to record levels. It took a lot to piss me off, but this guy had managed to do it both times we’d come in contact.

Anger clouded his features. “If I want my eyes on your tits, that’s exactly where I’m gonna have my fuckin’ eyes. I don’t appreciate club whores telling me what the fuck I can and can’t do.”

My blood boiled to the point where I thought it could blister my skin. “You need to get your facts straight, asshole, because I don’t appreciate club members calling me a whore when that is so far from what the hell I am.”

His hand shot out and he gripped my bicep as he shoved me against the wall. Bending his face to mine, he snarled, “Bitch, I really don’t give a flying fuck what you are. Stay out of my way if you don’t want my eyes on your tits and my hands on your body.”

My heart beat faster and my breaths grew shallow, but I’d be damned if I would let him threaten me like this. Shoving him hard so he stumbled back, I warned, “Don’t ever place your hands on me again. I can guarantee you that you won’t like the repercussions if you do.”

The way he sneered sent chills along my spine and I fought not to wrap my arms around my body in an attempt to shelter myself from him. I refused to give him the satisfaction of that.

He opened his mouth to speak again, but at that minute, Wilder came our way. “Everything okay with you two?” he enquired, a frown on his face.

Rogue flashed a huge smile at him and nodded. “We were just getting acquainted. Everything’s good here. You going home, man?”

Wilder stared at Rogue for a moment before turning his attention to me. “You good, Harlow?”

I regained control over my breathing and nodded. “I’m good. And I just had a call from Scott who asked me to let you know he wants Rogue stationed over at Trilogy tonight. He’s called Blade to send someone else here for the night.”

Wilder’s face pulled into a frown. “Really? He hasn’t called me about that.”

I watched Rogue carefully, taking in the way his face contorted in anger. Fuck you, asshole. Holding his gaze, I nodded and said, “Yeah, he said he didn’t have time to make two calls and – ” I turned my gaze to Wilder and hit him with a sweet smile, “ – I guess you were right when you hedged your bet that he’d call me first.”

Wilder grinned. Bingo. Way to a man’s heart – tell them they were right about something. “I knew he would, babe.” Looking at Rogue, he said, “Okay, brother, I guess you’re off strip club duty. I’ll catch you later.”

Once Wilder had walked away, Rogue got in my face. “What’s your fuckin’ game, bitch?”

I squared my shoulders. “You wanna fuck with me, expect me to fuck back with you. I’m no club whore; I’m the President’s old lady, and I roll over for no one, asshole.” I spat my words out before turning on my heel and stalking away from him. My heart had begun beating a million times faster than it usually did; well, at least that was how it felt in my chest. Threatening a man like Rogue wasn’t something I had ever done, but as far as I was concerned, it had to be done. I had to show him I wouldn’t be a pushover.

As soon as I was safely in the staff room with the door locked behind me, I called Blade.

“Harlow, what’s up?” He answered on the second ring.

“Blade, can you spare me a guy tonight? For security at Indigo. Our guy can’t make it now.”

Without hesitation, he replied, “Consider it done.”

I let out the breath I’d been holding in. “Thank you.”

“I’ll have someone there within half an hour.”

We ended the call and I relaxed back against the door as my breathing evened out. Now all I had to do was figure out how to keep Rogue away from me while Scott was away. I refused to burden my man with anything else so there was no way I’d share with him what had happened today. Not until he got home, at least.