Текст книги "A play for 8 people and one fish. Comedy. On the other side of the family"
Автор книги: Nikolay Lakutin
Жанр:
Драматургия
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Nikolay Lakutin
A play for 8 people and one fish. Comedy. On the other side of the family
Attention! ALL COPYRIGHTS TO THE PLAY ARE PROTECTED BY THE LAWS OF RUSSIA, INTERNATIONAL LEGISLATION, AND BELONG TO THE AUTHOR. ITS PUBLICATION AND REPUBLICATION, REPRODUCTION, PUBLIC PERFORMANCE, TRANSLATION INTO FOREIGN LANGUAGES, MAKING CHANGES TO THE TEXT OF THE PLAY WHEN STAGED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR IS PROHIBITED. THE PRODUCTION OF THE PLAY IS POSSIBLE ONLY AFTER THE CONCLUSION OF A DIRECT CONTRACT BETWEEN THE AUTHOR AND THE THEATER.
A play for 8 people and one fish
Comedy. Duration 1 hour 15 minutes.
ACTORS
Petyunya (Peter) is about 40-50 years old.
Klara is Peter's wife, about 20-30 years old.
The drone (Andrey) is about 40-50 years old.
Tamara is Andrey's wife, very attractive, about 40 years old.
Asya – we will not reveal who she is yet. The age according to the scenario is 17 years old.
The old one (Ilya) is about 50-60 years old.
Bozhena is Ilya's wife, about 30-40 years old.
Miron – we won't reveal who he is yet. Age about 30-40 years.
Sturgeon (or someone else) is a live fish, a full member of the cast.
Scenography! For fishing scenes, you will need a container with water in the foreground (you may need several containers if you separate them for each fisherman separately), which will simulate a lake – reservoir. Some kind of stage barrier (logs, branches, whatever, reflecting the edge of an abandoned reservoir) should be provided so that a container with water could not be seen behind this barrier, and at the same time the viewer had a full-fledged effect of immersion in the atmosphere of fishing and there was a feeling that a real lake was behind the fence.
It may make sense to cover the first two rows of seats with some kind of cloth, because it is quite possible that splashes will fly there. The viewer will not appreciate it if he is somewhat wetted. But it is also possible to remove the reservoir from the foreground, so as not to lose the first rows. At the discretion of the director.
Also, for the final scene, you will need a live fish. Presumably a sturgeon (but not fundamentally, you can also have someone else, big and spectacular)! Alive! Healthy! (A large sturgeon, so that it could be seen from the last rows of the hall). Only, chur, do not torment the fish, treat it carefully, as a full-fledged actor for the entire period of productions, and at the end of the planned performances, release it into the appropriate reservoir. The fish, most likely, will need to be pierced, and fix the ring so as not to pierce the lip or cheek with each crocheting. And it's even better to make a kind of collar – grip from two small straps connected to each other and fixed on the tapering parts of our atypical actor, so as not to injure the fish at all. I do not tolerate animal husbandry and cruel treatment of either people or animals. Even if the audience does not like the performance (and they will like the performance for sure), so we will save at least one fish from being eaten from the hypermarket. Take care of the fish, pamper and protect!!!
To change the scenery in three different apartments, it is recommended to divide the stage into two parts with a kind of large screen, or even better fences with printed illustrations of nature, bushes, a forest (background for fishing scenes). Our fishermen will be sitting in the foreground, while behind the fences it will be easy to change the situation in the apartments for other scenes (you can not change it, but the performance will look more spectacular and spectacular if two changes of scenery in the apartments are still carried out).
Scene 1. Fishing
Earlier in the morning.
The sounds of nature are heard. Perhaps you can hear the buzzing of a dragonfly, the chirping of birds, a light breeze… Something like that.
The action takes place on a stage near the proscenium.
In a fisherman's uniform (traditionally a protective color), with fishing rods in their hands, three of our heroes are sitting on folding portable chairs (someone, perhaps, on an inverted bucket), fishing. The drone is wearing a cap, the rest are without caps. The views are philosophically detached and focused at the same time. Petyunya looks at the float, the drone looks into the distance (hall). The old one looks up at the sky.
The old one (thoughtfully, philosophically, slowly and lingeringly, lowering his thoughtful gaze from heaven, softly, addressing his friends). That's why I love fishing, so it's because it is full of calmness and poise!
Petyunya jumps off his chair, barely has time to finish and starts nervously furiously lashing his fishing rod on the pond (water splashes naturally from the pond) and at the same time screaming with all his strength.
Petyunya (as emotionally as possible). Yes, grab her in the net! Why don't they bite at all, aaaaa??? (nervously, with a growl, announcing the nearest streets of the theater) AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
Petyunya continues to bludgeon the pond with a fishing rod.
The Old One and the Drone don't even-don't even give the slightest sign of a change in their internal reasoning. They absolutely do not pay attention to what their friend is doing, although it is quite obvious that after such numbers, there will certainly be no bite.
They sit in the same poses, they look at each other in the same mysterious and philosophical way.
Petyunya, after yelling and whipping the pond with his fishing rod, jumping in hysterics a couple of times, and trying to pull himself together, puts a new bait, (you don't need a live bait, the props of a worm or a bloodworm are enough). Then he defiantly loudly spits on the bait, wipes his fingers on his pants, because naturally the spit overtakes not only the bait, then spits cautiously and cautiously on the heads of his friends, but these spits are more symbolic, and his friends are accustomed to such antics, they do not react. Petyunya throws a new tackle into the pond, then sits down as if nothing had happened, continues to fish with an irresistible face full of calm and peacefulness.
The Old One and the Drone don't pay attention to anything. They are sitting as they were sitting.
Silence… Sounds of nature… the original picture.
The old one, after a short pause, thoughtfully and philosophically breaks the silence, lowering a thoughtful look from heaven.
The sounds of nature subside.
The old one (softly, addressing the Drone). Our Petyunya, of course, is a peculiar person, to be honest, his character is explosive, but he is a kind man by nature, responsive.
The old one wipes off his head with his hand what Petyunya spat, which means he replaced it. Wipes off his head, wipes his palm on his pants.
The drone obediently nods, supporting the words of the Old One, staying somewhere in his thoughts, observing the former calmness, only shakes off the cap with a habitual movement of his hand and puts it back on his head. But now he leaves his thoughts, claps his hands busily on his knees, rubs them.
Drone (thoughtfully, thoughtfully). Here we are what we are. No masks, no labels. Here we are not Andrey, Peter and Ilya, but the Drone, Petyunya and the Old One. And we are so comfortable and we feel so good! And everything else is empty. (Cheerfully, turning to his friends, changing the mood) Well, guys?
An anticipatory pause. The trio looks at each other knowingly.
Old (anticipating, to the Drone). Biting?
Drone (positive, Old, without looking at the fishing rods). In my opinion, it bites.
Petyunya (looking at the Drone float, affirmatively). Definitely biting!
The drone gets up, takes up its rod (this is a fishing rod, if anyone does not know, nothing like that is meant here). He holds the fishing rod with passion, it bends under the weight, the fishing line is stretched, the drone is about to pull out the coveted trophy.
Stary and Petyunya perk up, jump up and start shouting sympathetically, nervously glancing at the Drone float.
Petyunya and the Old One (in two voices, vying with each other, nervously, interested, sympathetically). Come on, come on, come on, hook up, pull, start, hook up, come on, come on, well, and… go, go, come on. Here it is.... That's right… You're her jerk. Oop! And-well?
Petyunya with a neat jerk, sitting down, pulls the trophy out of the pond to the cheers and whistles of her friends. At the end of the fishing line, the Drone already has an incomplete bottle of vodka.
The men catch this bottle in their hands, fished out of the pond with such excitement by a drone, and open it.
Petyunya takes out three glasses from behind her chair, pours, the others cheer up the situation with cheers.
All three of them according to the situation (in pleasant anticipation). So. Yeah. Come on. Fill up. To the brim. Ah! It's like that in nature. Now we'll bite. The process has started. The morning ceases to be languid…
they rub their hands, fuss.
Drone (excitedly, to the Old One). Old, where did you put the snack?
Old (anticipating, to the Drone). Yes, there, in the package…
shows the package. The drone takes out lard, cucumbers, onions, bread. Everything is as it should be. Petyunya distributes filled stacks to her friends.
All three are armed with glasses.
Old (to friends). Well.., we will!
Clink glasses, exhale, drink. Fussing with a snack, appreciatively savoring smacking their lips, AH – ayut and everything like that. They sit down in their places, but now forming a circle for conversation, and not in a line for fishing along the shore, as it was originally.
Drone (Petune). Petyunya, I don't understand one thing in any way. Tell me, why are you so worried about your catch? Why are you driving devils in a pond with a rod? There have never been any fish here, how many times can I remind you about this?
Petyunya (waving off the drone). Yes, I know.
Old (Petune). Really, Petyun? Why the hell are you shaking your nerves for yourself and people? We don't come here for fish. There she is (pointing her finger somewhere back at the fishing bales) already, bought to distract the eyes and women's delight. And here, why bother twitching?
Petyunya (to his friends). That's right, but… You know, guys. Anyway, no, no, but the eye falls on the float. And he is not the wind, or the hook will catch on the bottom. And he's playing on his nerves. So you look-you look and you will believe that some fish has bitten.
Drone (Petune). Come on… We've been going here for a year, and apart from all sorts of nasty things, so to speak, the consequences of human activity, we haven't got anything from the bottom. And there are no fishermen here except us. And if they pass, they twist their finger at the temple. Yes, it is understandable. Where would fish come from here? It's all true… exclusively entourage. So don't get too involved in this case.
Petyunya (to the drone). And that's right, Drone, you're talking business.
Petyunya launches a stone into the area of her float. Splash, splash.
Petyunya (to the drone). Well, so what happened to your Tamara there?
Old (connecting to this topic, with interest, to the Drone). By the way, yes! You promised to tell me on the fishing trip. So we are all in the spotlight. Come on…
the intriguing music for the beginning sounds softly.
Drone (indulging in memories and anticipating his story). Oh, guys… There's such a thing…
the music is growing.
The lighting smoothly anticipating goes out, leaving in its last outlines the intrigued faces of the fishermen delicately exchanging glances.
The music ends.
ZTM.
Scene 2. The story of the Drone (Andrey)
Homely cozy atmosphere in Andrey's house.
A chaotic rhythmic musical composition sounds.
Female nervous cries of fright, screams are heard.
The light turns on smoothly.
In a panic, looking around, fearing and wary, Tamara jumps out onto the stage, jumps out, falls out of another room. She is wearing only a dressing gown, and even then hastily wrapped up. She stumbles in a hurry, falls. Immediately jumps up, glancing cautiously back, and runs away, standing behind the chair as if behind an obstacle.
A Drone (Andrey) runs out of the same room with a furious, furious yell with an axe in his hand. Tamara screams again and runs away. Andrey, disguised in ordinary, everyday clothes, rushes after her, threatening with an axe.
They do a couple of laps in pursuit, stop to catch their breath, look around, who should run away and who should catch up.
The music ends.
Tamara (nervously, with a tear in her voice). Calm down, you idiot! What makes you think I'm cheating on you?
Andrey (in a rage). Prompted, kind people! Did you think that everything would be covered up? That I won't find out anything? I'd be ashamed to bring you home, you harlot! But nothing, now I'm beating the crap out of you…
the chase continues again, which lasts a couple more laps.
They stop again, at different ends, look around, look around.
Tamara (nervously, with a tear in her voice). Have you completely gone off the rails with your jealousy? Have I ever given you a reason to think badly of me? You never know what people are talking about? They say a lot of things about you, too, you know, but I don't believe gossip. But for some reason you willingly accept any slander on faith. What did I do to deserve such an attitude, Andrey? By what? Have you ever seen me with someone? To make out with someone or kiss? Yes, since I married you, I have not come closer to men than a social distance. I know that you can kill for just one look. So I wouldn't really take the risk? Come to your senses! Come to your senses, please, before it's too late!
Andrey (in a rage). What, honey, did you smell fried? Have you decided to shift from a sick head to a healthy one? Yes, I'm going to teach you the mind without any proceedings now. People won't talk for nothing, Tamarochka. Everyone knows that there is no one more beautiful than you in the whole neighborhood. That's why I'm so jealous, I see how men look at you. And I know the men well. They'll take a look, they'll take a look, and they'll get down to business. So it's better not to deny it. (As loud and furious as possible)
Tamara (nervously, with a tear in her voice). Who is he, who is he?
Andrey throws himself at Tamara in a rage, she runs away, as a result, the spouses change positions, stop.
Andrey (in a rage). Don't make a fool of me! My neighbors told me in black and white that my wife did not come home alone today. I caught this trick in the eyes of I won't say who, and I know perfectly well what lies behind this hint. So stop me from breaking the comedy here! Where is he?
Andrey begins to walk furiously and scatter everything in the house, holding an axe at the ready.
Tamara (on a heavy exhalation). I'm so sick of your jealousy, my strength is gone.
Tamara ceases to hide and beware, she goes calmly and confidently to her husband, falls on her knees in front of him, bows her head.
Tamara (with strength in her voice, with truth in her voice). On, ruby, monster! I don't enjoy this kind of life. Rather than shy away from every corner and wait for you to kill me because of someone's words, it's better not to live at all. Come on, be brave, Andrew. Be a man, finish what you have in mind!
Andrey looks at his wife with contempt and hatred, she has hooked him for a living, for self-esteem. He swings an axe and at that moment a young girl runs out of the next room with a panicked squeal. She's barely dressed. The intimate parts of the body are barely covered with underwear, she jumps out of the room with a squeal, holding her clothes in her hands, and quickly leaves the dwelling, dropping one shoe in a hurry.
From this scene, Andrey is overcome with stupor. Something, but he could not predict such a development of events in any way. His thoughts are clear, his confusion is complete. He lowers his hand with the axe, the axe falls out of his hand. He falls to his knees in utter confusion, puts his hand on his wife's shoulder, she raises her head, looks with exhausted eyes at her husband.
Andrey hesitantly points his finger in the direction of the runaway girl. He tries to say a word, but he can't find the words, just mumbles in surprise and absent-mindedly.
Andrey (confused, questioningly, pointing his finger in the direction of the runaway girl). And … ahhh?
A sad lyrical musical composition sounds softly in the background.
Andrey nods his head in the direction of the runaway girl.
Tamara rises from her knees. Looks with condemnation and contempt at her husband, goes into the room without explaining anything.
Andrey gets up, he is in shock, shakes his head, looks in the direction of the departed wife, looks in the direction of the runaway girl.
Andrey (confused, questioning, to himself). O., how is it all.... It turns out… it happens…
Andrey picks up the shoe that the girl dropped, looks at it, sighs in surprise and disappointment once again, with a drooping head goes in the direction of the runaway girl, that is, towards the exit.
The music ends.
ZTM.
Scene 3. Fishing
The same atmosphere of fishing, but a pond (pond) with all the piles for this episode are optional.
The sounds of nature are heard.
Spot lighting of the light source highlights three silhouettes on the stage
Three men, three of our would-be fishermen stand with their backs to the viewer, in front of a large bush, which they water extensively in a natural way (this is only implied, there is no need to water in a natural way… it will not be aesthetically pleasing, after all, the theater). The viewer sees intricate movements on the left of a standing Drone, clearly writing out some symbols, because just standing in the process of this event is boring for a positive cheerful man. The old one, who is standing on the right, is just standing, not making faces, but his legs are slightly bent, he is enjoying the moment, looking somewhere up.
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