Текст книги "Exclusive New year. Play for 6-7 people"
Автор книги: Nikolay Lakutin
Жанр:
Искусство и Дизайн
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Текущая страница: 1 (всего у книги 1 страниц)
ATTENTION! ALL COPYRIGHTS TO THE PLAY ARE PROTECTED BY THE LAWS OF RUSSIA AND INTERNATIONAL LAW, AND BELONG TO THE AUTHOR. IT IS FORBIDDEN ITS PUBLICATION AND REPUBLICATION, REPRODUCTION, PUBLIC PERFORMANCE, TRANSLATION INTO FOREIGN LANGUAGES, CHANGES IN THE TEXT OF THE PLAY IN THE FORMULATION WITHOUT THE WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR. THE PLAY CAN ONLY BE STAGED AFTER A DIRECT CONTRACT IS CONCLUDED BETWEEN THE AUTHOR AND THE THEATER.
Comedy for 6-7 people. Duration: 1 hour and 20 minutes.
ACTOR
ANATOLY STEPANOVICH – Director of the company;
YANA-accountant;
PETROVICH-HR officer;
IRINA OLEGOVNA-sales Manager;
VIKTOR VASILYEVICH – head of logistics Department;
PHOTOGRAPHER-the name is not voiced;
CHAIRMAN of the BOARD of DIRECTORS – the name is not announced.
The photos announced to the audience involve extras from the theater troupe.
The roles of the photographer and the representative of the Board of Directors are episodic and do not overlap, they can be performed by one actor.
new years eve.
1 the OFFICE. NEWS
A winter song is playing, something about snowflakes, about new Year's days.
The curtain is opening!
Office environment.
Yana, wearing her glasses for the sake of her image, is busy with reports. Paperwork.
Petrovich fiddles with workbooks, enters something into the computer.
Irina Olegovna with a telephone receiver at her ear is negotiating with another uncooperative client.
Viktor Vasilyevich brings a cardboard box with some dishes in his hands. He is cheerful, cheerful, and enthusiastic.
The music stops.
VIKTOR VASILYEVICH (in high spirits, sharing his joy with the team):
Employees are distracted from their tasks and look at the visitor.
VIKTOR VASILYEVICH (in high spirits, sharing his joy with the team): our personalized mugs have Arrived! Now not aby from what we will drive tea! (Still holding the box lovingly in his hands, stroking her) With the company logo and the name of each employee… You'll see for yourself! Come get ' em!
The logistician looks for a place to put the box, the Manager cuts off his phone conversation, the others also leave their business, start to rise in their chairs to unpack the box and all that, but their actions are interrupted by the Director who entered the office.
Sounds alarming music!
The Director with a folder in his hand walks with a strict step, with a businesslike look. This view already makes it clear to all employees that they should not wait for good news.
The Director throws the folder on the table with force.
The music stops.
ANATOLY STEPANOVICH (strictly, seriously): Gentlemen! I have come to tell you the most unpleasant news!
The team is straining even more.
ANATOLY STEPANOVICH (slowly, separating the words with a temporary pause, strictly, seriously): In two weeks, with us… take place… corporate event!
YANA (losing her composure, her knees giving way, her voice shaking, losing strength): What?
Petrovich falls into his chair almost senseless, banging his forehead against his Desk.
Irina Olegovna slaps her distressed face with her hand and shakes her head desperately.
Viktor Vasilyevich, in a state of shock, drops the box from his hands. It falls to the floor, and you can hear the clink of broken dishes in the box.
YANA (losing her composure, her voice shaking, losing its strength): Anatoly Stepanovich, why are you doing this to us?
The Director shrugs a little sheepishly.
YANA (very nervous, plaintively): I just put in the last missing teeth after the last corporate party! Last week, I made the last payment on the loan.
PETROVICH (nervously, irritably, rubbing his bruised forehead): And I spent two months weathering the interior of my car after those Gypsies! Never mind the car, the nervous system is still not fully restored! She won't survive another corporate event like this!
The logistician, being in a prostration, takes a few steps towards the Director, without lowering his hands, as if the box is still in his hands, does not look at his feet and walks over the box that he brought and dropped. The crunch of broken dishes is heard, but this does not awaken the dumbfounded Viktor Vasilyevich.
VIKTOR VASILYEVICH (to the Director, plaintively, holding out his hands as if in supplication): Anatoly Stepanovich, rodnenky, breadwinner, how is it? Don't kill the last of the Mohicans. After all, the number of the team has almost halved after the last celebration. There, January is a drunken month, then until February, people will rock. I won't be able to cut a new one for the transport Department until March, and I don't know who gets caught. Do you remember how much trouble this situation caused in the first quarter?
PETROVICH (indignantly, logistics): Cut – it's you, my dear, still optimistic look. It cost me a lot of effort to find new candidates. After all, our company thundered out loud! In the news summary, we are with the last corporate got, if anyone forgot!
ANATOLY STEPANOVICH (upset, sympathetic): I Remember, I remember everything, I am perfectly aware and … the
Director waves his hand away hopelessly.
ANATOLY STEPANOVICH (everyone, on your nerves): Do you think this is my initiative? I have so-and-so, seams remained on memory from last corporate party! Do you think I'm eager to repeat it?
The team takes a sympathetic breath with a certain amount of irony and restrained laughter. Petrovich manages to restrain himself less than anyone else.
ANATOLY STEPANOVICH (on the nerves, fiercely): And there's nothing funny about it, Petrovich!.. Exposing a couple of teeth to an accountant on a drunken bench is… as they say, God ordered…
IAN (angrily, Director): Well, thank you, Anatoly Stepanovich!
ANATOLY STEPANOVICH (continues, on nerves, furiously): But throwing knives at the Director's ass! You know that already!!!
The team is openly laughing!
ANATOLY STEPANOVICH (a little more calmly): I dare say that I have completed this idea, I do not share it! Absolutely!
The team calms down a little.
ANATOLY STEPANOVICH (a little more calmly): However… if I was an ordinary Manager, and even not in the best account, then… most likely, I would also not find anything wrong with this activity, moreover, I would find this idea very witty and entertaining … the
Director strokes his ass, lost in memories.
ANATOLY STEPANOVICH (perk): Well, Yes, but there was a reason to dismiss a negligent employee! All for the best.
PETROVICH (thoughtfully): Yes… Andreik's employee was nothing… but knives metal notably!
The team laughs.
ANATOLY STEPANOVICH (restrained): Yes, I appreciated it! Well, so closer to the topic! So this offer doesn't come from me at all! The Board of Directors supported the will of the founders of our holding that the corporate event should take place in order to unite the team and strengthen the team spirit!
IRINA OLEGOVNA (caution): Anatoly Stepanovich, I'm sorry, but you told them your position on this issue, right?
ANATOLY STEPANOVICH (reservedly): To all my arguments, the Chairman of the Board of Directors just said that their ass also suffered from this whole situation. Only they have, of course, in a figurative sense.
The group nods knowingly and shakes their heads in disapproval.
ANATOLY STEPANOVICH (reservedly): I invited the founders to participate in our upcoming company holiday, since it is inevitable. But my humor was invaluable, or rather exposed! As a result, my salary was cut by a quarter. And I would, you know, also sweep knives with pleasure… There are a couple of worthy targets with such a fattened … (shows the large size of a known part of the body with his hands). Oh, well. It will be marked.
The Director walks through the office like a boss.
ANATOLY STEPANOVICH (in a businesslike tone): What are your suggestions, colleagues, for the future misfortune?
YANA (quickly, confidently): I'll take a sick day! I'll buy a certificate, I don't know, go to another part of the world for the funeral of some distant relative, find the seventh water on jelly for such an occasion. In the end, all people are brothers, surely someone will end up somehow even remotely and very mediocre related to our relatives. I do not know what I will do, I will give birth in two weeks, although I did not plan, I will fall into a coma, or at least I will die myself! Be that as it may, any of these options will be cheaper and easier than raking out the consequences of a corporate event!
ANATOLY STEPANOVICH (in a businesslike tone): Speaking of attempts to circumvent our bright holiday, the
Team is on alert.
ANATOLY STEPANOVICH (in a businesslike tone): In order to avoid aggravating the trick, the Board of founders provided for certain measures in this case. Namely. Payment of the bonus part, which is also black bookkeeping, which, as you know, is about 70% of the total salary. It will be carried out only after the event and only to those present at it. The rest will be paid only the official rate and then dismissed under article 81 of the labor code "non-Performance of labor duties".
The team begins to howl, hum, resent.
ANATOLY STEPANOVICH (in a businesslike tone): So I suggest that we focus on constructive proposals. Come on, Irina Olegovna, you're no stranger to dealing with difficult situations. What do you think about this?
IRINA OLEGOVNA (carefully): Anatoly Stepanovich, I, of course, can settle many issues, but not on a universal scale?
ANATOLY STEPANOVICH (in a businesslike tone): What to do? One way or another, no one else will solve this problem. So, your offer for the event!
IRINA OLEGOVNA (cheerfully): Well, if the situation is hopeless – then I suggest that it at least be taken under strict control, so to speak, in a "tight grip", in order to minimize the General damage from the event.
ANATOLY STEPANOVICH (with interest): Reasonable. What exactly do you suggest?
IRINA OLEGOVNA (cautiously): Let's do something… closer to the people or something… As it is done in all civilized companies. The tables in the cafe, sat down and said, bit. We will invite only the heads of departments to the meeting, so to speak, we will note the top. We'll sit for two or three hours and disperse. Well, let the small fry decide the issue on their own, we will not be responsible for this. Costs are minimal. There are almost no risks. We will hold the event and we will all receive the award. This is my suggestion!
The team cheerfully supports the Manager's proposal.
ANATOLY STEPANOVICH (with taunt): Sabantuychik work?
PETROVICH (approvingly): Well!
ANATOLY STEPANOVICH (with a tease): Mezhdusoboychik so to speak?
VIKTOR VASILYEVICH (approvingly): Of course! Excellent offer. I'M IN!
Viktor Vasilyevich and the rest of the team raise their hands to vote.
ANATOLY STEPANOVICH (with poddevka): Excellent offer. Simply magnificent. Why didn't I think of it? They're telling the truth: Everything brilliant is simple!
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