Текст книги "Finders Keepers"

Автор книги: Nicole Williams

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Текущая страница: 16 (всего у книги 17 страниц)

“SOMEONE ORDER A mail-order best man?” I shouted, charging into the barn office where Mrs. Walker had directed me.

Jesse was draped over a metal chair, looking as cool and collected as any other day. The guy was about to swear a lifetime to one woman, and his forehead wasn’t even beaded with sweat. “You made it.” He grinned an ear-to-ear one and popped out of the chair.

“Did you have your doubts?” I shook his hand and gave him a quick, awkward manly hug. Lots of hard back patting was involved.

“Nah,” he replied. “No doubts.”

“That much faith in me, eh?”

“Not really, but I have plenty of faith in Rowen. Especially when she got that look on her face and headed out to hunt you down. I’ve learned to cease and desist whatever I’m doing if she ever turns that determined, take-no-prisoners expression on me.”

I chuckled. “You always were the smart one.” Jesse sat again and checked his watch. “Someone a little antsy?” If he was, he sure as hell wasn’t showing it.

“Not antsy, but excited.”

“Excited? For a wedding?” I wrinkled my nose. “Jess, we’re cowboys. We don’t get excited over weddings. Not even when they’re our own.”

Jesse’s boot kicked mine. “Well, I’m excited about a wedding and I’m a cowboy. So consider your world officially rocked.”

“Okay, I get why you’d be excited for the wedding night . . . but the actual wedding itself? Flowers? Long-ass ceremony? Old women in big hats? What the hell’s so exciting about that?” I could see the excitement written on every plane of his face. I guess I was looking for an explanation as to why.

Jesse shrugged, checking his watch again. “In one hour, Rowen’s going to be my wife. I wouldn’t care if the ceremony leading up to that included electric shock therapy and bamboo shoots up my finger nails. I’d still be excited knowing that when all that was said and done, I’d get to call her my wife.”

“Mrs. Sterling-Walker . . .” I gave him a sly smile, which earned me another kick.

“Yeah, yeah. I know you don’t get it, but it works for us. And that’s all that matters.” Jesse hadn’t stopped smiling since I walked in the room. Knowing him, he’d probably been smiling in his sleep since she agreed to marry him.

And then I stopped to think about what he’d just said—It worked for them. Jesse and Rowen were far from a cookie-cutter couple, but damn if they weren’t the happiest, most in love one I’d ever had the nauseating pleasure of being around. They’d managed to figure out a way to make things work for them. The odds were stacked against them—the rebel city girl with a checkered past and the golden country boy—but they’d figured out a way to make it work. And that was all that mattered . . . I almost had to slap my cheeks to snap out of it. “So? Best man duties? Give me the basic rundown.”

Jesse leaned back in the chair, and I had to suppress the urge to kick it out from under him. It was his wedding day and all—if ever a guy deserved a break, it would be that day. “I don’t know. Just back me up if any of Rowen’s exes show up and try to sweep her away. Oh, and try not to cuss or pull out your flask and take a swig in the middle of the ceremony.” Jesse’s eyes narrowed as he searched for other suggestions. “Don’t piss Rowen off. Or Josie. Or anyone for that matter.”

“Slow down, Sterling-Walker. Slow. Down.” Jesse smirked at me. “If any of Rowen’s exes show up, I’ve got your back—no problem. Kicking ass is one of the few things I do best.” Jesse nodded. “I promise to try not to cuss, and you don’t have to worry about any swigging in the middle of the ceremony because I’m”—I unbuttoned my jacket and held it open, patting each pocket—“flaskless.” Jesse’s eyes widened in surprise. “And I won’t piss off your bride or hopefully anyone else, and I will certainly try not to piss Josie off.”

“You know what? Just to be safe, why don’t you not even make eye contact with Josie during the ceremony? Rowen promised to pat her down to make sure she wouldn’t try to hide a shotgun under her dress, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. So no eye contact, just in case. At that range, there’d be nothing left of you above the neck.” Grabbing a piece of straw off the floor, he flicked it at me. “But with that ugly mug gone, you’d be a lot more attractive, so no worries either way I guess.”

I flipped him my middle finger. “It’s not like she’s going to be a few feet in front of me.” Jesse’s eyebrows came together as I had a light bulb moment. “She is going to be a few feet in front of me.”

“I thought Rowen told you. Josie’s her maid of honor, so you two will be standing right across from each other, and you have to escort her down the aisle at the end of the ceremony.”

That was why I should have been around for the rehearsal last night. I would have known Josie would be directly across from me and I could have worn a bullet-proof vest under my jacket. I had planned to talk to Josie at some point that night, but it wouldn’t happen before the ceremony since it was minutes away from starting. I was practically squirming as I pictured the glare she’d have aimed at me the entire time. “Well, fuck me. And here I thought the most uncomfortable part of this thing would be the tie.” I grabbed at it again, pulling it back so I could take a full breath.

“Sorry, pal.”

“Sure, you’re not.”

A knock sounded on the other side of the door before Mrs. Walker peeked her head in. “It’s time, Jess. You boys ready?”

Jesse popped out of the chair and ran his hands down his jacket. They were having a straight-up cowboy wedding—from the jeans, to the boots, to the black felt hats.

“I’m ready,” I said to Mrs. Walker and hitched my thumb at Jesse. “He’s excited.”

Mrs. Walker laughed. “What can I say? I raised a deranged son.” Jesse swirled his finger beside his head.

“Nah, Mrs. Walker. You raised one hell of a man.” I don’t know who looked at me with more surprise.

After giving Jesse a solid hug, Mrs. Walker gave me just as solid of one. “You didn’t turn out so bad yourself, Mr. Black.” Patting my cheek, she slipped back out the door, leaving it cracked for us. I heard the guitars in the background playing some Johnny Cash song . . . of course.

“Okay, this is it. How do I look?” Jesse held his hands out.

“Ugly.”

“Thanks for the confidence booster”—Jesse slugged my arm and headed for the door—“best man.”

“Nice jeans, by the way. Good of you to get dressed up for your own wedding. Pathetic.”

Jesse shrugged, my sarcasm bouncing right off of him. “What can I say? Rowen kind of has a thing for my jeans.”

“No, Rowen kind of has a thing for your ass.”

He paused at the door and gave an exaggerated wink. “I can’t blame her. I do have a fantastic ass.”

“Sounds like someone’s boosted their own confidence,” I muttered as Jesse slipped out the door. “Hey, Jess, hold up just a quick sec.”

Bad timing was my M.O., but I had to get it off of my chest. I’d taken my sweet time saying it, but there I was in some big hurry to get it out right as he was about to say “I do.”

“What’s up?”

I sucked in a heavy breath. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for that night with Josie. You trusted me to take care of someone you loved, and I betrayed you both. And I’m sorry.” I couldn’t seem to say it enough. “So fucking sorry.” One more time, I guess. “I just wanted you to know. I wanted you to know I didn’t plan for that to happen, or even want it to, but I didn’t do anything to stop it either.” I told Josie I’d never apologized to her for that night because I wasn’t sorry it happened, and that was true—it was hard to be sorry for a night I thought I’d only live in my dreams. But there was another part to it, the other side of the coin. I was sorry for the people I’d hurt. I was sorry for betraying one of my best friends. Well, I was sorry for betraying my two best friends. Jesse stayed quiet, the skin between his brows creasing deeper and deeper with every word. “Oh, and one more thing. I’m sorry for not saying I’m sorry sooner. It took me two pathetic years to apologize to my best friend for making love to his girlfriend behind his back.”

“Black, what the hell are you talking about?” That wasn’t what I’d been expecting him to say. “You’ve said sorry plenty of times before.” I cocked an eyebrow. “Okay, so you haven’t come right out and said those exact words, but you’ve shown me you were sorry. You’ve been showing me for a long time.” Jesse clapped his hand over my shoulder. “I know you’re sorry. And I forgave you a long time ago.”

I let that settle in for a few moments. And a few more. “Well, shit. If I’d known that, I could have saved my breath.”

Jesse’s smile stretched. “It’s all good. Besides, it’s nice to hear the words sometimes, you know?”

“You’ve got that intentional look,” I said, motioning at his face. “So whatever it is you’re thinking, you better spit it out.”

“The hard part is showing someone you’re sorry—or in a totally unrelated and not-at-all applicable situation . . . showing someone you love them.” Jesse’s tone gave me the equivalent of a nudge. Inapplicable, my ass. “The easy part is telling them.”

“Your point, Yoda?”

“You’ve already proven you love her. That’s the hard part. All you have to do is tell her.” How was he still able to talk, let alone form those kinds of thoughts, when he was supposed to be standing in front of an alter? Oh, yeah. Because he was Jesse fucking Walker.

“And that’s the easy part?” I said.

“As pie.”

I shoved his arm, pushing him through the office door. “Let’s get you to your wedding, princess.”

“I’ll make sure Rowen tosses the bouquet your way, sweetie,” Jesse said, adjusting his tie before buttoning his jacket.

“Bite me, Walker.”

He grinned at me. “Love you too, Black.”

Sliding the barn door open, I clamped my mouth closed. Dozens of faces turned their attention on the two of us. “You couldn’t have given me a little warning?” I hissed at him, keeping a smile plastered on as I followed him to the altar.

“Warning,” he said, waving at Clementine. She was practically bouncing in her seat.

Again, I had to fight the urge to buckle his knees out from under him. His wedding day. Dozens of people smiling at us. I should be on my best behavior. As the song the guitar player was strumming ended, he moved seamlessly into the next song. Even though I wasn’t a big Cash fan, I’d been around Jesse enough to know the song—“I Walk the Line.” I got the relevance, but really, the lyrics seemed more suited for a person like me than Jesse. A single guitar player was playing the song at half time, but the tune was almost haunting. I was practically wiping my eyes, and then the Walkers’ front door opened and Josie stepped out. Damn. If I’d been the crying type, I would have been a sobbing mess right then.

She clutched a bouquet and wore a pretty purple dress that moved with the breeze. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. She always had been. And she always would be. She didn’t notice me at first—not until she’d made it down the stairs to the aisle. As soon as she saw me, her smile vanished. Her skin, already darkened a couple of shades from the early summer sun, whitened. Her pace slowed so much, I worried that she would turn around and bolt. Instead, she sucked in a deep breath, shifted her gaze away from me, and continued down the aisle. When she made it to the altar, she gave Jesse her standard slug greeting, then mouthed a quick Congratulations.

It was another surreal moment. The three of us all together as one was about to commit his life to the woman he loved. The three of us had grown up together, lived and learned together, loved and hurt one another. Yet after all of that, we were still together, practically shoulder to shoulder, supporting one who was ready to move on to the next phase of life. Jesse, Josie, and me—an unlikely trio of friends who’d been through it all.

“Hey, Joze,” I whispered to her, taking a step her direction. She greeted me back with a powerful glare. “You look beautiful.”

Her glare went from powerful to lethal. Jesse subtly elbowed me in the stomach before tilting his head back. “Don’t make eye contact. Keep your mouth shut. Until the end of the ceremony.” One more elbow before a small smile appeared. “Please.”

“Fine,” I mouthed before clamping my mouth shut. The guitar player was just getting to the second chorus when Rowen stepped out from behind the front door. She looked beautiful—Jesse was one hell of a lucky man—but I only kept my eyes on her for a moment. They shifted to the woman standing off to my side.

Every eye was on the bride coming down the aisle, but mine were on the woman I could only dream would make the same journey down the aisle toward me. I could tell Josie knew I was staring at her. She was obviously ignoring me, and her middle finger was extended behind her bouquet so only my eyes would see. That was a sure sign.

The song ended. Rowen took Jesse’s hands at the altar, vows and rings were exchanged, a kiss was shared that went on far too long for my liking . . . but I couldn’t pay attention to any of it. The only thing I could focus on was Josie. I tried looking away from her, but it was impossible. Jesse had found the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and I had too. The only difference was that it had taken me much longer to admit that to myself. Josie and I were like oil and vinegar at times, and her temper only served to fuel mine, but we belonged together. There wasn’t any more doubt in my mind. We belonged together. I’d accepted that. The trick was finding out if she still believed that.

That was how I watched one of my best friends marry the woman he loved—through the eyes of the woman I did. Once she stopped paying attention to me, her glare disappeared. Josie went from smiling, to shedding a few happy tears, to beaming, to crying, and then she repeated it as Jesse and Rowen exchanged rings. When the preacher pronounced them husband and wife, she smiled and clapped—everyone else was hooting and hollering like they were at a honky-tonk and not a wedding—but there was something sad about her expression. Her eyes couldn’t mask the sadness.

As Jesse and Rowen took the trip back down the aisle together to yet another Cash song strummed on a guitar, the Walkers descended on them before they made it far. There was so much hugging and kissing and crying from all of those sisters that I squirmed where I was at the front. Once they’d made it past the Walker bottleneck, Josie moved beside me. I sucked in a breath and smiled, but she wouldn’t look at me. She clearly had something to say because she just stood there, practically shoulder to shoulder with me, looking expectant.

After a few more seconds, she sighed. “You’re supposed to escort me down the aisle.”

“Oh.” Well, that explained the look. I held out my elbow for her. “I didn’t know that.”

“You might have if you’d made it to the rehearsal last night.” She wove her arm through my elbow, but she made sure that as little of her arm touched mine as possible. I was back to being radioactive.

“Yeah, I guess so. I had a few things to figure out.” We were able to speak in normal voices because everyone was still cheering and clapping for the newly married couple who’d already made their way through the Walkers’ front door.

“Well, I hope you got figured out what you needed figuring out.” Josie’s voice wasn’t warm, and it wasn’t particularly cold either. It was just . . . absent. Removed.

“I think I did.” I had to tap the shoulders of a few people who were blocking our way. It’s a wedding, people, not a rock concert. Get a grip.

“Great for you.” Josie’s arm weaved out of mine as we approached the porch steps. Instead of climbing them with me, she turned away and headed toward the side of the house. “Bye, Black.”

I watched her until she disappeared, calculating my next move. Chase her and tell her what I needed to say before everyone sat down for the reception? Bide my time and catch her later after a few dances and a couple glasses of wine? I decided to go after her then because there was no sense in waiting. I’d waited too long already. I filed around the Walkers’ house—along with everyone else who was making their way to the big white tent set up in back. I lost sight of Josie in the crowd, but I kept moving forward. We’d wind up in the same spot eventually.

Inside of the tent, everyone took their seats around white tables set with white candles and flowers. I scanned everyone, not finding her. Just when I was about to head back out to see if she’d taken a detour, Mrs. Walker slipped up beside me.

“Your seat’s up here,” she said, putting her arm through mine and guiding me to the other end of the tent. “Are you all ready for your speech?”

My head whipped toward Mrs. Walker. “What speech?”

“The one the best man gives during the toast,” she replied, waving at someone we passed.

“No one said anything about a speech. I’m just here for the free food.”

Mrs. Walker nudged me gently. “And here I was thinking you were here for a different reason.” Her gaze shifted to a person sitting at the long table in front of us. Josie. Leave it to Mrs. Walker to save the pretenses.

“Yeah . . . about that . . .” I rubbed the back of my neck as I watched Josie. “I’m not sure that reason I’m here is super thrilled with me actually being here.”

“Here’s a little secret I’ll give away about us women.” Mrs. Walker leaned in, watching Josie with me. “Sometimes we act one way but feel another.”

“Are you telling me that Josie behaving like I’m the anti-Christ is all just an act?”

She smiled and patted my arm. “I’m saying why don’t you find out if it’s an act? There’s nothing to lose in at least finding out.”

“Besides my pride,” I mumbled.

“Pride’s overrated,” she said, moving toward a table of people waving at her. “Give humiliation a try.”

I didn’t care if I had to humiliate myself in front of every last person on the planet, nor did I care how I had to do it—it would be worth it to get Josie to hear me out. Since Josie was on one side of the bride and groom’s seats, I assumed mine was on the other side. The newlyweds weren’t there yet—knowing them, they were probably getting it on right then. For Jesse’s sake, I hoped people weren’t right when they said the sex went downhill after the I dos. Maybe I could work that into the speech. Shit—a speech. I would have to thank both of the Sterling-Walkers for the heads-up on that one. As I took my seat, I glanced at Josie. She was looking every direction but mine. Was Mrs. Walker right? Could she be only acting like she hated me? I wasn’t sure, but I would find out.

“Hey, Joze.” I angled my chair a little toward her and waited. “Josie?” I knew she’d heard me because her face was going a little red.

I was ready to say her name again when her head snapped my way. “You remember that little Bye, Black I issued back there?” Josie pointed toward the Walkers’ house. I didn’t have a chance to nod or reply. “That wasn’t a Bye, I’ll see you in a minute. That was a Bye, I never want to see you again.”

Those words, and that look on her face, gutted me. Act or no act, each of those words sliced through me. “Josie . . .” I had so much to say, so much to explain and apologize for, but that was all I could get out.

Her eyes closed and shook her head. “I warned you. I told you what would happen if you left me that night. That the . . . the . . . love I had for you then”—her voice caught, but after a moment, she lifted her shoulders and cleared her throat—“would change into something else. The opposite. It has.”

I wanted to reach for the glass of water on the table in front of me, but that seemed like too much work. Every scrap of energy had just been sucked out of me. “You hate me? You don’t love me anymore?”

Her eyes met mine for a moment before she twisted away from me. She was obviously done talking, but I wasn’t. I would say what I needed to and apologize for fifteen years of not giving her my best every day of it.

When another round of clapping and cheering went through the crowd, I didn’t need to look to know Jesse and Rowen had made their way to the tent. I stood and clapped with everyone else as my mind worked to decide what to do next. I hadn’t come to the wedding with any expectations about how Josie would react to seeing me after my couple-month departure, but if I had, I wouldn’t have expected her to really hate me. Maybe she’d been right, and her love had nowhere else to go but into hate. That shattered me. But maybe Mrs. Walker was right, and it was all just an act.

Jesse and Rowen hugged their way down the table. I extended my hand to Jesse while Rowen and Josie hugged. Since I pretty much hadn’t taken my eyes off of her all afternoon, I saw Josie whisper something into Rowen’s ear. Rowen replied with a dismissive wave. I guessed Josie was asking Rowen if she’d mind if she smashed her dinner into my face, and Rowen’s wave was a Not at all. Fire away. That was okay. If Josie had to smash her filet into my face in order to feel a bit better so I could say what I needed to, that was a small price to pay.

“Congrats, best man. Your head is still attached to your neck.” Jesse clapped the side of my arm and grinned.

“Aren’t I the one who’s supposed to be congratulating you?” I asked, finally diverting my attention. I might be there for Josie, but I was also there for Jesse and Rowen.

“No need to say it, pal. It’s written all over that tortured face of yours.”

“Haha, funny man. Thank you, by the way, for letting me know about the speech I’d be making and giving me some time to prepare,” I said dryly.

“You bet. Good luck.” Jesse’s grin jumped up a few levels when Rowen slid beside and pressed a kiss into his cheek.

“Holy shit. Rowen Sterling. Glowing. Married. I suppose now’s the time to start packing our bags for the apocalypse.”

Jesse slugged my arm. Rowen got the other. “Holy shit. Garth Black. Present. Accounted for. Sober. Quick, no time to pack your bags for the apocalypse because it’s here.”

I laughed as I stepped in to hug her. “Congrats, Mrs. Sterling-Walker. You take care of my little boy and make sure he eats his peas, washes behind his ears, and that you tuck him in every night sated with a smile on his face.”

Jesse rolled his eyes. Rowen lifted her eyebrows. “Planning on it.”

“By the way, you look amazing,” I added. I didn’t know much about wedding dresses, but I’d seen enough to know that hers wasn’t a typical one. In true Jesse and Rowen fashion, she’d picked out the dress that suited her, the one that worked for them, and said to hell with the rest of it.

“Nice of you to notice. Finally.” Rowen inclined her head behind her—where Josie’s back was as much to us as it could get.

“Yeah . . . sorry about that.”

Rowen took her seat, and Jesse slid her chair forward. “Sincerity is the most important part of an apology,” Rowen said. “You might want to take note in case you’re planning on making any more tonight.”

“I’m planning on it”—I indicated at Josie’s back—“if someone decides to actually acknowledge me.”

“From one stubborn person to another”—Rowen leaned across Jesse’s lap toward me—“figure out a way so she has to hear you out. Don’t let her get away from here tonight without hearing what you have to say.” Rowen’s eyes stayed on mine, drilling what she’d just said into me. She leaned back into her seat, but not before winding her arms around Jesse’s neck and pulling him in for one long, long kiss. Most nauseatingly in love couple alive.

Hey, maybe I could work that into the speech I had to give in—from the look of the dude carrying the mic up to the table—any minute. I wanted to ask Jesse if I could abdicate my speech-giving responsibilities, but he was still wrapped up in the kiss that was going to set some kind of record.

My gaze drifted to Josie—and the person sliding into the empty seat beside her. My fists formed at my sides automatically. “What the hell is Colt Mason doing sitting next to Josie?” I didn’t care if I was breaking up their make-out session; they had a whole honeymoon to make up for it. After a few more seconds of lip locking, Jesse surfaced with a stupid grin on his face. “Well?” I nudged him to break him out of his stupor.

“Colt’s Josie’s date,” Jesse replied matter-of-factly.

“And you didn’t think to tell me this earlier?” Not that it threw a kink in my plans, but I would have liked a little more notice that Colt and Josie were there together than him slipping into the seat next to her and draping his arm around the back of her chair.

Jesse lifted a shoulder. “I’m telling you now. Besides, I’m pretty sure the only reason she invited him was to piss you off. Looks like it’s working.”

“Great, just fucking great,” I said, scrubbing my hands over my face. Josie was with Colt, she’d all but admitted that she hated me, and the dude with the mic had just switched it on and was bringing it my direction. Could anything go worse?

When the guy handed me the mic, I accidentally tapped my water glass with it, making the glass teeter a few times before shattering when it hit the ground. Of course that made me mutter a curse which, since the mic was on and close to my mouth, sounded around the entire tent. Perfect. The first word of my speech was that one. Jesse and Rowen snickered, Josie was back to glaring at me, and Jesse’s sisters gaped at me like I’d just set myself on fire.

Now that I had everyone’s attention and the babies in the room were crying . . . speech time. “No one’s ever accused me of being articulate, and after that, you can all see why—if you didn’t know that already.” Everyone except for the chuckling hyenas beside me stared at me with shocked expressions. “That’s why I would have begged Jesse to let someone else speak, but since I had a whole five minutes of notice”—I clapped my hand on his shoulder and gave it a hard squeeze—“there wasn’t a lot of time for begging. Or running away before the mic got in my hands. So even though articulate and me”– shit, was it articulate and I? I should have paid more attention in English class—“live on opposite sides of the state, tonight I’m going to give it my best shot. Tonight I’m going to attempt to say exactly what I need to, and I hope you all will give me a chance to do that.”

My eyes shifted to Josie, who still had her back to me, but it had stiffened. “Jesse and I”—or was it Jesse and me? Damn it anyways—“grew up as best friends. That someone like him would even want to associate with me, let alone be friends with me, was something that took me a long time to get used to. If you’ve lived around these parts for very long, you know, I was a piece of—” I caught myself just in time thanks to Clementine shaking her head and wagging her finger at me from the table right in front of me. I thanked her with a wink. “I was a piece of . . . something . . . and Jesse was the stand-up, amazing guy he still is today. Someone like me didn’t deserve a friend like him. A person like me didn’t deserve his acceptance and kindness and love.” Jesse and Rowen had stopped chuckling and were looking at me with something of a bewildered look, probably because I was speaking from the heart and not straight out of my ass.

“But it wasn’t just Jesse and me who became inseparable. We had a third partner in crime, and the first day I saw her, I convinced myself she was an angel.” Josie’s head tilted, but her back was still to me. “And then when I asked her on the playground if she really was an angel and could I try her wings out, she stuck her tongue out at me and walked away . . . thus ruining my angel theory.” A low laugh resonated through the room. Even I smiled at the memory. “The three of us became best friends, never doing anything without inviting the other two. Just like with Jesse, I convinced myself I didn’t deserve her friendship or care . . . or love.” I had to pause and clear my throat. “My whole life, I let people tell me what I did and didn’t deserve, and my whole life, I believed them. But here’s what I learned from Jesse.” I squeezed his shoulder again before letting go.

“Who we choose to love, and who chooses to love us has nothing to do with being deserving or undeserving. It has to do with who you simply have to love and who simply has to love you. It took me years to realize that my two best friends didn’t love me because I did or didn’t deserve it or that I loved them because they did or didn’t. We loved each other because we wanted to. We chose to. I know another certain someone he had to drill that into as well. A certain someone who promised a lifetime to him this afternoon.” I glanced at Rowen, and she was almost teary-eyed. I’d been under the impression Rowen did teary about as often as I did.

“So that’s what this guy taught me about love. It was nothing to do with deserving, and everything to do with who we want and choose to love. I learned something else about love from our other best friend.” Josie was sitting forward in her seat, still not facing me, but she didn’t have to—I knew she heard every word. “She taught me how to love. She taught me who I wanted to love. Even though I failed at it, stumbled over my own two feet so many times I was face-planting more than I was walking, she showed me the perseverance of love.” I probably should have been looking out into the crowd or at the bride and groom, but all I could do was stare at Josie and spill my guts. I never realized how many guts I had to spill. It was a messy operation.

“I learned something else about love from Rowen. She taught me that when you do find the person you want to love for the rest of your life, it’s okay to embrace change. It’s okay to change yourself. Everyone likes to think that when they find that special someone, that person should accept them and their flaws, vices, and short-comings. Maybe they’re an amazing enough person that they do . . . but they shouldn’t have to. A person should want to change themselves for the better when they find that person. Rowen might not have come out and said it, but she showed me by example.” I nodded at her as she wiped her eyes, then shot me a thumbs-up.