Текст книги "Rock Addiction"
Автор книги: Nalini Singh
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Текущая страница: 12 (всего у книги 21 страниц)
Chapter 23
“Drugs?”
“Close.” Her hands had begun to shake as she looked at the bank statements and final notices for bills. “Online gambling. He’d bankrupted us in a matter of weeks.” Worse, he hadn’t paid any of the insurance premiums since the day of his arrest, invalidating all the policies.
Fox’s voice was harsh when he spoke. “No man has the right to do that to his family.”
“I confronted him—I think part of me was hoping I’d misunderstood.” Like a child wanting to be assured the bogeyman wasn’t real. “When he stirred enough to yell at me to get the hell out, I waited for one of my mother’s sober days and showed her the papers. The way she looked at me… I broke her heart into a million pieces that day.” Molly would never forget that instant, never forget the unvarnished agony that had sent Karen Webster to the floor in a fetal curl.
Molly had begged for her mother to talk to her, said sorry a hundred times, but she’d continued to lie there, mute and fractured. “I don’t think she was ever sober again.”
“That is not on you.” A ruthless declaration as Fox turned her to face him. “Baby, you have to know that.” He crushed her against the strong planes of his chest and only then did she realize she was crying.
Wrapped tight in the protective circle of his arms, she felt so safe that she couldn’t fight the crashing wave of shattering emotion—feelings she’d hidden away for so long that she’d almost convinced herself they no longer existed. That none of it had the power to hurt her any longer.
Her nose was stuffy, her throat scratchy, and her eyes wrung dry when Fox spoke against her ear, the whiskey and sin of his voice an addiction—and that was the greatest irony of her life.
“You’re telling me this so I’ll know how bad you’re messed up?”
Molly leaned back enough to meet his gaze, the smoky green black in the darkness. “Yes.” He’d read the newspaper reports, knew what had happened next—the loss of their family home and everything else not already consumed by escalating legal costs, her parents’ deaths in a car crash on the way to a court appearance, her mother later discovered to have been five times over the legal limit.
The only miracle was that Karen Webster had taken only her husband with her, her car smashing not into another vehicle but into a concrete pylon. When it came out that there had been no skid marks on the road, the media had called it a murder-suicide. Molly wasn’t sure they were wrong.
“I’ve worn the coat of being a well-balanced, ‘normal’ person for so long that I almost believe it myself most days,” she confessed, “but I’m not. I have stuff inside me that chokes me up until I can’t breathe. I’m really messed up.”
Fox rubbed his thumbs over her cheeks, wiping away the remnants of her tears. “I got plenty of fucked-up parts inside me, too. Yeah, they kick my ass sometimes, but I wouldn’t be me without those parts, and you wouldn’t be you.” His voice dropping, holding her captive. “That’s the Molly I want, the messed up, smart, sexy one standing right in front of me.”
Passionate and edgy and starkly romantic, his words kissed the torn-up places inside her. “This,” she said, her voice husky, “us. It’s not working.”
Molten fury, Fox’s skin pulling taut over his cheekbones. “Hell it’s not.”
“Wait.” Molly pressed her fingers to his lips. “That didn’t come out right.” She swallowed, blurted out the words that had been building inside her since the moment he asked her if she wanted to change the rules. “I don’t want a deadline.” Her heart ripping open, the exposure terrifying. “I don’t want to pretend like my mother did, that my life—our relationship—is something other than what it is.”
Fox’s heart staggered at hearing the words he’d been waiting for since the instant he’d first realized she was his. Parting his lips to speak, he suddenly became aware of a large group of energetic and giggly teens racing down to the lookout. “Shit.”
Grabbing Molly’s hand, he led her back up the rise, head angled to avoid being recognized, and drove home as fast as legally possible. This was one night he definitely did not need to be pulled over. Backing Molly against the closed door of her apartment the instant they were inside, one hand on her hip, his other arm braced over her head, he said, “Let me get this right.” His heart ricocheted inside his ribcage. “You’re saying you want us to go on for longer than a month? No limits?”
Molly nodded.
When he simply watched her, she wet her lips, spoke in a throaty whisper. “Yes. I want to change the rules.”
“You sure?” No doubts, there could be no doubts in her mind. “Because once you take that step, I won’t allow you to back away.”
“Yes.” The single word was potent with emotion. “I’m sure. I want to be with you in every way… I want to see who we’ll become together.”
A dazzling kaleidoscope exploding in his mind, Fox thrust his hand into Molly’s hair, unraveling her ponytail to fist his hand in the silky black strands. “No more hiding,” he ordered. “You’re mine, in private and in public. Do you understand?”
“Yes.” It was a thready sound, her throat moving as she swallowed. “You want the same thing?”
“Baby, I never had any intention of letting you go at the end of the month.” Fox’s words shattered everything Molly thought she knew. “You’re like the perfect song and I knew that the first night we spent together.”
The perfect song.
No one had ever said anything so beautiful to her. Already-gritty eyes burning, she said, “H…how do we do this?” Her fingers curled against his back. “Will you fly down to spend time with me after your tour is complete?”
“No half measures, not ever,” was his unbending response. “You come with me.”
Again, he’d hit her with the unexpected. “I can’t.” Breathless words, her pulse in her mouth. “My life, my friends, everything is here.”
“I’m not.”
It was a simple, absolute fact. Shaken, she gripped at him to keep herself upright. “If I choose to stay here?”
“I told you, no half measures.” His expression was brutal, all the niceties stripped away to reveal the strong, determined man at the core of him. “If you don’t come with me, what’ll we have? A few weeks a year?”
“We could make it work,” she argued, so overwhelmed by the careening speed of this that her mind scrabbled to find steady ground.
“No.” A flat rejection. “I want to take you out to dinner. I want to walk with you down the street. I want to pretend not to be bored while you shop. I want to kiss you before I go onstage. I want you in my bed every damn night.”
Each word he spoke, it echoed her own secret desires.
“So you decide, Molly, once and for all, if you want me enough to take the chance.”
“That’s not fair.” She adored him, but he was asking her to alter the course of her life in a way that could never be undone. “I want to be with you more than I’ve ever wanted anything—”
Kissing her without warning, his mouth hot, his tongue stroking deep, the slight abrasiveness of his callused fingertips familiar on the side of her face, he whispered, “Say that again.”
“I can’t bear to think of being alone in this apartment again,” Molly said, her voice shaking, “of watching you leave… of hearing that you’ve found someone else. You’re mine.” A raw claim.
Fox shuddered. “Fuck, baby, I got no argument with that.” One hand continuing to cradle the side of her face, his thumb brushing over her cheekbone, he said, “Why the hesitation, then?”
The stark, unconditional honesty of the moment demanded she speak the truth. Finding another strand of courage, she gave voice to the fear that had a clawed grip on her heart. “What if we don’t last in the real world?” The pressure of the media, the constant barrage of attention, it could wear a person down to the bone. “What if I’m not strong enough?”
“I know it’ll be hard.” Fox’s breath hot against her skin, his body a wall of muscle. “But you’ve faced hard before and kicked it to the curb.” Green eyes violent with a pride that tightened the chains around her heart. “Delaying the decision won’t make it any easier.”
“No.” The only way to know if they had what it took to make it under the unforgiving glare of the world stage or if it would smash them into jagged shards was to step into that life.
Ever since she’d been old enough to understand the poisonous nature of her parents’ relationship, Molly had promised herself she’d never make the same mistake, never become addicted to anything or anyone. Except here she was, addicted to a rock star who lived in a world that was the diametric opposite of the staid, suburban existence that had been the goal she’d set herself as a devastated and heartbroken teenager—the lights, the cameras, the intrusion, the cruelty, it was her personal nightmare.
No matter what happened, the instant she made this decision, she ended her chance of ever having an ordinary life. It hurt to think of the death of a dream she’d held on to for so long, but nothing hurt more than the thought of losing Fox. “Yes,” she said on a whisper of sound. “I’ll come with you.”
Fox’s eyes held her own, a passionate, possessive fire in their depths. “No half measures, no regrets.”
“No half measures,” she vowed, her pulse a staccato beat and her heart on her sleeve. “No regrets.”
Fox’s kiss branded her, his body imprinting on her cells.
Part Two
Chapter 24
Molly’s first impression of Fox’s home in the Pacific Palisades area of Los Angeles was of gleaming glass and shimmering blue set back against an unexpectedly green backdrop of spruces and other foliage. The light-filled modern structure, situated on a slope, was all square angles and floor-to-ceiling windows that provided a magnificent view of Santa Monica Bay in the distance, while the water from the infinity pool on the second floor fell in a cool waterfall to a lower pool.
“It’s beautiful,” she said, standing in the sunlit living room that overlooked the infinity pool. The sun beat down outside, but inside it was cool, the air-conditioning soundless. “It’s not what I expected.”
“What?” That lean dimple appeared in his cheek. “Some messy bachelor pad?”
“Um, yes,” Molly admitted, wanting to kiss him but feeling oddly shy in this new place a literal world apart from everything she knew.
Laughing, Fox slid open the doors to the patio around the pool and tucked her to his side. His kiss was slow, the way he rubbed his nose against hers heart-catchingly sweet. “I have a cleaning service—they come in once a week unless I tell them not to. I don’t like anyone in my space when I’m working on a new song.” A playful bite to her lower lip. “I’ll make an exception for naked Molly, however.”
Scrunching up her nose at him, she said, “Can you ask them not to come this month?” She needed time to settle without having to deal with strangers. The one good thing was that she wouldn’t have to stress about work—the copy-editing certificate she’d completed last year in order to earn extra income, before her promotion at the library put that on the back burner, was now going to be part of her new life.
It would take time and a lot of hard work, but she planned to build herself a career as an independent editor and researcher with the emphasis on the latter. Never did she want Fox to think she was with him for his money—and more, she needed to be her own person, needed to be the Molly who was Fox’s perfect song. That Molly stood on her own two feet. “The house looks clean anyway,” she added.
“Whatever you want.” Fox nodded toward the kitchen area that flowed off from the large living space. “Their number’s on the fridge if you want to make the call yourself.”
Molly smiled, liking the idea of jumping right into their life together. “I will.” Her jaw cracked on a huge yawn before she could say anything else. “I’m exhausted,” she said when it passed. “Let’s go take a nap.”
Fox’s eyes gleamed. “A nap?”
“A nap.” She made her voice stern. “After we shower. Even flying in a fancy-pants private jet doesn’t make me feel any less icky after twelve hours in the air.”
Running his hand possessively over her body in a way that had her rethinking her priorities, Fox led her deeper into the house and to a sun-drenched bedroom. Centered in the sprawling space was a king-size bed made up with crisp white sheets, an electric guitar leaning against one of the walls. Seeing the guitar eased the nerves in her stomach—that this house was worth millions didn’t alter the fact it was Fox’s home.
And now hers.
The attached bathroom, she saw when Fox tugged her inside, was enormous, the shower full of jets, the bathtub a huge square thing. “Wow, I could go swimming in there.”
Fox ripped his T-shirt over his head and dropped it on the shimmering gray of the floor tiles. “Get naked.”
A sigh leaving her at the male perfection of him, Molly wriggled out of her clothes. Fox was already in the shower, all jets on and body soapy when she stepped inside. He hauled her close, his mouth firm on hers, his cock long and thick against her abdomen. “How about a little exercise before that nap?”
Hitching her up onto his hips with easy masculine strength, he pinned her against the tile. “Are you sticky and damp for me, Molly?” he murmured, reaching behind her to run his soapy fingers lightly over the cleft of her buttocks. “Say yes, baby, because I want in.”
His words, his actions, they made her thighs clench around his hips, her mouth opening for his on a breathy “Yes.”
He played his tongue over her own, confident and demanding, as the blunt head of his cock nudged at her, and then he was pushing inside. Shivering as he stretched her to aching pleasure, she wrapped her arms around his neck and used her teeth to tug at the ring that had been her temptation into the sexiest of sins.
“Fuck, I love it when you do that.” Gripping her under her thighs, he began to move, the rhythm fast and deep, her breasts rubbing against the taut muscle of his chest with every thrust.
She kissed him again as he pushed his cock in to the hilt, then pulled out almost the entire way… only to thrust his way back in. The relentless pressure, the erotic friction, the feel of his powerful body moving in her, around her, it made her shudder and come without warning, her inner muscles convulsing on the thickness of him.
“Christ!” Fingers tightening on her thighs, he increased the depth and force of his thrusts until he came, the wet heat of his seed inside her a reminder of the primal nature of their intimacy.
They did nap after Fox soaped up her lazy-limbed body, the pleasure heavy in her blood, while she shampooed her hair. Rubbing her dry with a big fluffy towel once they were clean, he nudged her toward the bed, murmuring, “Reflective glass,” when she hesitated to walk naked into the bedroom.
It still felt incredibly naughty to cross the room nude, since she could see through the glass. She slid under the sheets, snuggling into Fox when he followed her to bed, his body cool from the shower, his hair damp. Above them, the wide skylight showcased a vivid blue sky, but her body thought it was five o’clock in the morning.
They slept in a tangle of limbs, Fox’s body curved behind her own, his thigh thrust between hers, one of his arms under her head. It was a position she’d become used to, the warm strength of him lulling her to sleep within minutes. She didn’t wake until three hours later, according to the bedside clock.
Fox wasn’t in bed, but she rolled over just in time to see him coming out of the bathroom. He was as naked as when they’d gone to bed, and just as gorgeous. Noticing she was awake, he smiled that slow Fox smile that made her heart skip a beat. “Hello, sleepyhead.”
“Mmm.” Yawning, she stretched. “Come back to bed.”
But Fox was already pulling on a pair of gray sweatpants. “Insatiable.” Closing the distance between them, he pressed both palms on the bed, one on either side of her head, and bent to speak against her lips. “I’m starving.”
Molly tugged him down. He didn’t resist, lying on top of her, the sheet between them a thin barrier that did nothing to block the wild heat of his skin. “Kiss me,” she said, her arms around his shoulders, “and I might make you that omelet you like.”
His hand curving over her bare breast after he pulled down the sheet, he said, “Kisses as bribery?” Then his smiling mouth came down on hers, the kiss playful, his mouth sucking on her lower lip, her teeth nibbling at his in sensual retaliation.
Neither of them was in a hurry, content to just be together.
“I think you’ve earned your omelet,” she said some time later, shaping the breadth of his shoulders with her hands. “Show me your kitchen.”
Fox brushed her hair off her forehead, the tenderness in his expression intermingled with unhidden possessiveness. “I’m happy you’re in my house, in my bed.” He palmed her breast again. “Where you belong.”
No woman, Molly thought, could question Fox’s commitment when he was so blunt about it. “I’m happy to be here,” she said, then gave him a rueful smile. “Also a little scared and nervous, but underneath it all, happy.” And that happiness? It scared her, too… because it seemed too passionate, too wonderful, to last.
Fox’s gaze was intent, his eyes dark. “Let’s make this town ours, Molly.”
The first three days weren’t much different from the life Molly was used to living. By unspoken agreement, she and Fox stayed home except for short visits out to get groceries and pick up a couple of things she discovered she needed after she unpacked. By some stroke of luck, the paparazzi didn’t seem to have realized Fox was back in the country, so he was able to show her around without anyone dogging their heels.
The area around Fox’s home was lovely, it and neighboring houses set on large parcels of land that ensured privacy. There was also a park, complete with hiking trails, only a short drive away. Molly loved their walk along a canyon trail early one balmy evening, the two of them laughing as serious hikers passed them by with sniffs of disdain for their strolling pace. But his neighborhood was only a small part of a sprawling city, and Molly quickly realized she’d need a car if she wanted to get anywhere on her own.
“I’ll take a few driving lessons,” she said as Fox showed her the sights in his black SUV in place of the highly recognizable red Lamborghini that was his pride and joy. “Get myself used to staying on the wrong side of the road.” Seeing they were on the highway that ran parallel to the coastline, she rolled down the window to take in the sea air, the view breathtaking along what her research told her was one of the most scenic routes in the country. “Let’s do the entire drive one day.”
“We’ll take the Aventador,” Fox said. “It hugs the road like you do my cock when I’m inside you.”
“Fox.” She pushed at one muscled arm, to his wicked grin. “I cannot believe you just compared me to a car!”
“No, I compared the car to you,” he pointed out, one hand on the steering wheel, the big SUV moving so smoothly it appeared an extension of his body. “She gives me a sweet ride, but nothing comes close to my Molly.”
Her heart turned to goo.
“As for your driving,” he said, while she fought the urge to crawl over and distract him from the road, “I’ll set you up with a car and a driver until you’re comfortable on your own.” Reaching out, he tapped her cheek. “I don’t want you feeling trapped.”
Molly’s instinct was to say no, but she knew that was pride talking.
“I take care of what’s mine,” Fox said when she didn’t answer, his tone uncompromising as he pulled off the highway and into a parking spot that overlooked the beach. Switching off the engine, he turned to brace his arm along the back of her seat. “Don’t make an issue out of this.”
Molly hadn’t been about to until that last statement. “I’ll make an issue out of anything I please,” she said, the sound of the waves splashing to shore a gentle contrast to the tension in the vehicle. “Giving orders isn’t the way to get me to agree to anything.”
Fox’s scowl didn’t fade. “You know what I’m like. Did you really think I’d leave you to navigate a new city alone? Especially when you’re going to be dealing with all the other crap that comes with being with me?”
She dropped her head back against the seat and into his hand. “No, of course not, but”—turning, she poked her finger into his chest—“you can’t talk to me like that. I won’t take it.”
Fox curled his hand around her nape. “Then you can’t fight me on everything.” It was a snarl. “Jesus, Molly, let me take care of you. It won’t steal anything from you if you let me make life easier for you.”
Her breath caught at the ferocity of his words. “Am I that bad?”
“Yes.” Direct, furious. “I’ve never had to fight so hard to give a woman so little. You even wanted to pay for the goddamn groceries!” Blowing out a breath, he tugged her closer with the grip he had around her nape, his kiss a stamp of possession. “I make millions. I don’t have anyone to spend it on. I will damn well spend it on you.”
Heart thudding, Molly pressed her hand against his chest. “Yes to the car and driver, but—”
“Always a fucking but,” he growled. “No buts. I told you—I take care of what’s mine, and you are mine.”
“I am not a piece of property!”
He squeezed her nape. “And I’m not your fucking lapdog.” Releasing her without warning, he put the car into gear and peeled out of the parking space to head back to the house.
He didn’t say anything else until they were almost home, when he slammed both hands to the steering wheel and shot her a fuming look. “I’m a man. If that’s not what you want—”
“What?” Molly spoke through clenched teeth, the scream built up inside her. “I should go back to my old life? I quit my job, gave up my apartment—”
“You also promised to trust me!” Fox pulled up in front of the gate to the house, pushing the remote attached to the dashboard to open it. “Remember that?” He powered through the barely open gate and up the winding drive bordered by trees. “What do you think I’ll do? Abandon you penniless and broken like your parents did?”
“You bastard!” Molly fisted her hands, eyes stinging at the brutal emotional slap that shoved her right back to the most horrible year of her life. “I did trust you”—with her deepest pain—“and you—” Unable to continue, she unsnapped her seat belt the instant they entered the garage and, shoving open the door, almost ran into the house.
Dragging her suitcase from the walk-in closet where she’d stashed it, she flipped it open on the carpet and began to throw her things in it as she fought not to cry. When Fox’s hands landed on her upper arms, she wrenched violently away—or tried to. He wouldn’t release her, tugging her back against his chest and wrapping his arms around her upper body in a steely embrace.
She kicked back at him, but her position left her at a disadvantage, her foot barely scraping his shin. “Let me go!”
“I’ll never let you go.” Spinning her around too fast for her to get her bearings, he clasped her to him again.
When she shoved at his chest, he didn’t resist. “I’m sorry,” he said.
“I don’t care!” He’d used her deepest vulnerability to wound her. “I trusted you!”
Unbalancing her by hooking his foot around the back of her calf, he tipped her onto the bed behind her. He’d come down on top of her and pinned her wrists to either side of her head before she could catch her breath, his weight crushing her to the mattress. “I’m sorry for the way I said it,” he gritted out, his pupils jet-black against the rich color of his irises, “but I’m not sorry for what I said.”
“Get off me! I don’t want to be anywhere near you!”
“Too bad.” It was a growl of sound. “You’re mine,” he said again, “and I’ll take care of you if it’s the last thing I do. That includes making sure our fucked-up pasts don’t mess up the best thing that has ever happened to me!”
