Текст книги "Forgiving Lies"

Автор книги: Molly McAdams

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Текущая страница: 4 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

She flipped me off without taking her gaze from the window.

“Oh, you know I’m kidding . . . but for real, warn them.”

“So hateful.” She shook her head and dropped the blinds and curtains before walking past me toward her own room. “Whatever, I’ll be lucky if either is interested in me after they’ve seen you. I’m going to hop in the shower, and you should start getting ready soon. We’re leaving at seven.”

“I’m not going, Candice!” But it didn’t matter; she’d already shut her bedroom door.

With a sigh, I turned and went to my bathroom. Stripping out of my comfy clothes, I turned the shower on and waited until the room was filled with steam before stepping in.

And no, I still wasn’t going.

That’s what I continued to tell myself when I was doing my makeup almost forty-five minutes later and when I did large, loose curls throughout the bottom half of my long hair. Not going. Just getting ready to sit around the apartment looking pretty. When my hair was done, I checked my makeup one more time, making sure the smoky eyes were just enough to make my blue eyes pop but not so much that I looked like I was going clubbing. I flossed and brushed my teeth, told myself one more time I wasn’t going to go, then went to my closet to pick out something to wear.

Candice burst into my room thirty minutes later, and I was standing there in a bra and underwear, just staring at my closet.

“I can’t believe you’re not dressed yet! I told you to get ready! They’re going to be here in, like, five minutes!”

“I think this is a sign that I shouldn’t go.”

She huffed and pushed me out of my closet before walking in. “You can tell yourself all you want that you’re not going. But even if you’d stayed all skanked out like you were earlier, I would’ve still dragged you out the door with us.”

I wanted to sneer at her and ask why it was okay to stay skanked out with these guys and not Blake, but I kept my mouth shut. We hadn’t talked about the situation with Blake since Candice had come back to the dorm with food and ice cream that afternoon. It was just easier this way.

In less than two minutes, Candice was walking out of my closet and throwing my outfit onto the bed. “There. Get dressed.”

“Heels? Candice, are these guys even tall?” I’m five eight. And these were four-and-a-half-inch stilettos.

“Yeah, they’re ginormous, they’re going to be here any second, get dressed!”

“Gah, so pushy.” I dressed in my faded skinny jeans, black stilettos, and a loose black tank. The kind you have to wear a camisole underneath unless you feel like showing the entire world what Victoria’s Secret really is. As soon as I was done, Candice was in front of me, her lips pursed as she critiqued my outfit. “Well?”

She stamped her foot—yes, Candice still stamped her foot like a five-year-old—and her pursed lips turned into a pout. “This is so not fair! Can I have your boobs for just one night?”

“Yeah, sure . . . let me just take them off,” I said, deadpan. “Tell me, Candi, do I look all right?”

“Uh, yeah. I’d do you.”

I snorted, “You’re disgusting.”

“You love me.”

Rolling my eyes, I walked into my bathroom and put on some perfume. “It’s true.”

Just then there was a knock on the door. Candice squealed, did her little happy clap, and left my room. I took everything I would need out of my monster of a purse and threw it in the dark green clutch Candice had dropped on my bed as well. With one last breath and look in the mirror, I stepped out into the living room and tripped over myself when I saw them. My hand shot out to the wall to keep myself somewhat vertical, and both guys standing near the door with Candice took a step toward me with eyes wide and arms out. Like they could catch me from over twenty feet away.

This is not happening.

“Wow, smooth, Rach.” Candice sighed and shook her head.

When I righted myself, I tried to keep my eyes on the ground or anywhere but on him. But of course I found myself locked in his steely gaze. Recognition flashed in them and that stupid smirk crossed his face.

“Guys, this is my roommate and best friend, Rachel. Rachel, this is Mason and Logan.”

Swallowing the last of my pride, I walked over to them, this time without any incident, and reached out to shake their hands. They looked a lot alike. Both were tall—still a few inches taller than me even with those heels on—tan, and had dark just-got-out-of-bed hair. The one standing closest to Candice, who reintroduced himself as Mason, had arms so massive, I swear the sleeves of his shirt were about to tear from how much they were stretching against the bulging muscles. To be honest, they were kind of frightening. He had tribal tattoos coming down both arms, stopping halfway down; a killer smile; and dominating eyes. But then he picked me up in a big bear hug, and all freaky thoughts of him melted away. Massive teddy bear.

I laughed and pushed away from him when he set me back down, and I turned my narrowed eyes on the guy standing next to him. “I like the name Logan. You should stick with it. It sounds much better than Kash.”

Mason snorted and Candice groaned into her hand before gasping and pointing at me. “Wait! You know him?”

“Yeah, he tried to take my car door off this afternoon when I got back.”

Kash . . . Logan—whatever his name was—stopped sucking on his lip ring and I had the strangest urge to take over that lovely task for him. “You know, we could always turn that around and say you tried to ruin my bike.”

“You pulled into the spot way too fast, and I’d been opening my door!”

“Fast? Sweetheart, I promise I wasn’t going fast, and I’d already been turning in before you opened your door. It’s not my fault you threw your door open.”

“I did not throw my door open! And don’t call me sweetheart. You don’t know me.”

“Uh, Rach. You do kinda throw your door open.”

“Candice.” I turned to look at her and gave her a Whose side are you on? look. “So not helping right now!”

“So,” Mason said loudly, and clapped his hands, “I’m starving. We going?”

Just as I was about to say I was going to stay home, and actually mean it this time, Candice grabbed my hand and walked me toward the door. “Yep!”

I turned, waiting for Logan to exit the apartment so I could lock the door, and found him directly in front of me. I inhaled sharply, and his eyes slowly worked their way down my body and back up. When his liquid-steel eyes met mine, I swear I shivered and my skin was instantly covered with goose bumps. That stupid smirk came back and I narrowed my eyes at him as I tried to ignore the way my heart was pounding.

Calm down, Rachel. He’s annoying, and he’s not even cute. Those eyes do not put you in a daze, that smile does not pierce you to the floor. You do not want to bite down on that ring on the left side of his bottom lip. You do not want to rip his shirt off to see the muscles that fill it out perfectly. And you do not want to spend hours studying his tattoo sleeves. Not. At. All.

Candice couldn’t have been more obvious when she suggested we take my Jeep or that Logan ride in front with me. But there was no point in arguing. Candice always got her way. Obviously.

“So, let’s take the guys to the Oasis, Rach. That way they can see the lake.”

Thank God I hadn’t started driving yet, because I slammed on the brake even though I was still in park. “No!” Everyone in the car jerked back. “I mean, um . . . it’s just always so crowded there. And on a summer night, it’s gonna be crazy.” Anything that reminded me of Blake, I definitely wanted to avoid.

“Oh . . . kay. Well then.” Candice thought for a second before saying warily, “Are you going to freak out if I suggest Hula Hut?”

“No, I’m not. And I—I didn’t freak out.”

“Whatever, Rachel. Just drive.”

I glanced in the rearview mirror to see her give me a Cool it look before turning to whisper in Mason’s ear.

“Hey, are you gonna be okay to drive?” Logan asked softly in my ear. “You look sick all of a sudden.”

“Thanks,” I said through clenched teeth, and shot him a glare as I backed out of my space.

“I didn’t– Jesus,” he huffed, and sat back. “Forget it.”

I took a shaky breath in and held it for a few seconds before releasing it. I knew I was being rude. But it was like I couldn’t stop. “So why’d you tell me your name is Kash if it’s Logan? Are you a part of some motorcycle gang or something and you got stuck with the shitty nickname? Or do you just sing like Johnny Cash?” He definitely had a voice deep and smooth enough for that to be a possibility.

Logan made a noise between a scoff and a laugh and shook his head. “First off, they’re called motorcycle clubs, not gangs. And no, I’m not a part of one; I just love motorcycles. Second, you were wrong earlier, and you’re wrong now. Kash isn’t a nickname. It’s my middle name, and I’ve gone by Kash my entire life. It was my grandpa’s name.”

Oh sweet baby Jesus, someone please give me a time machine so I can restart today. “Um . . .” I tilted my head to the side and grimaced. “I’m just going to throw myself out of the car now.”

“Didn’t mean to make you think I’d lied to you or something. Mason was the one who introduced us to your roommate and I was on my way out to fill my bike up with gas, so I didn’t have time to talk to her. He always introduces me as Logan. Not really sure why.”

“I’m really sorry. I’ve—” I quickly broke off. There was no point in explaining I’d had a bad day. I’d been a bitch, and there was really no excuse for that. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“So,” I said a couple minutes later, “you just moved in? Are you from the Austin area, or . . .” I trailed off and glanced over to see him sucking on the damn lip ring again. Why was that so hot?

“Ah, no. We’re from . . . far East Texas.”

Vague. “Um. Okay. What brought you here?”

“Change of pace mostly. How about you? You from the area?”

“We’re from far West Texas.” I let that linger for a moment before turning and shooting him a grin. “Otherwise known as California.”

“Smart-ass.” He smiled wide and I forced my eyes back on the road. Oh Lord, that smile was perfect. “Let me guess. College?”

“Yep.”

“Isn’t it summer? Wouldn’t you want to go home during vacation?”

“Uh, yeah. It is . . . but Candice has a cheer camp for elementary-school girls she’s working at this summer. And where Candice goes, I go.”

He huffed softly and looked back at Candice and Mason. “Cheerleader. Yeah, I’d already kinda pegged her as one; she looks like it.”

At barely over five feet, with bleached blond hair, bright green eyes, and an ever-present smile and bounce in her step, yeah, she definitely looked like it.

“So you’re a cheerleader too?”

“Ha! Um, no. Definitely not.” Candice usually had to drag me to games and was always getting on me about my lack of enthusiasm for sports. Not my fault they reminded me of my dad. I would always sit on the couch with him while he watched whatever games were playing. He’d taught me everything there was to know about each sport, and watching them now, I could still hear him calling out fouls, flags, and strikes before the refs or umps did it themselves.

“So . . .” Kash drew out the word and turned his body so his back was against the door and he was facing me.

“So, what?”

“You’re not a cheerleader; what are you?”

For such an innocent question, it hit me deep. I felt like I was walking around lost half the time, and the other half I was just following Candice to be near someone I considered family so I wouldn’t break down. I’d only majored in athletic training because it was close to Candice’s major. I didn’t want to do anything with it when I graduated—to be honest, I had no idea what I wanted to do when I graduated. I didn’t know who I was, let alone who, and what, I wanted to be.

“I’m just Rachel,” I finally answered, and flickered a glance toward Kash to see his brow furrow as he studied me.

We got to the restaurant without my having a minor freak-out or impulsively slamming on the brakes again. But hell if I didn’t start drifting into the lanes next to us a few times because I kept sneaking glances at Kash. And by the way the corners of his mouth kept tilting up like he was fighting off a grin, I knew he was aware of why I was currently not helping women’s driving statistics.

Candice and I ordered margaritas while the guys ordered beers, and I downed my margarita so fast, the guys were looking at me like I was a crazy alcoholic, and Candice just looked embarrassed. I really didn’t even care anymore what they all thought. I’d had a bad day and instead of its getting better, I’d continued to make it worse. Looking at the large glass, which only had ice left in it, I frowned and set it back down on the table. Whenever I was the one driving, I only allowed myself to have one drink, and now I was regretting not enjoying that.

“Do you want another?” Kash asked with a lazy smile that I wasn’t sure if I hated or loved yet.

“No, I drove. One’s enough.”

“I’ll drive us back if you want.” We were in a small booth, and Candice had made it a point to sit with Mason, which put Kash and me in a position to get all up close and personal whether we wanted to or not. And now he was leaning in and the smell of his musky cologne was calling my name. “You look like you need more than one.”

His cologne had officially stopped talking to me. I sat back so I was smashed against the wall and raised an eyebrow at him. “Just like I look sick? You really are quite the charmer, aren’t you?”

He didn’t miss a beat. “And you really know how to turn shit around so I look like an asshole, don’t you?”

I huffed a laugh. “Just saying . . . girls don’t like to hear they look bad. I’m almost waiting for you to tell me I look tired next.”

Kash’s eyes roamed my face. “Well, I wasn’t planning on mentioning it . . .”

“Wow.” My jaw dropped and I blinked rapidly. “I don’t need to do a thing. You make yourself look like an asshole all on your own.”

He laughed loudly and leaned in closer than he’d been before. “I don’t know what happened in the car earlier, but you looked like you’d seen a ghost. And right now, you’re putting off an uncomfortable vibe that I’m sure half the restaurant can feel. You know you look beautiful, but that doesn’t hide the underlying stress that is rolling off you.” Before I could say anything, he continued. “So that makes me assume you’ve had a really bad day, which is why I offered to drive us all home so you could have another drink or two. If you honestly think what I’ve said means you look bad, then that’s your own problem you’ll have to deal with. And as long as you’re giving some attitude, be prepared to get some in return.”

Oh. Wow. If he hadn’t already bothered me so much, I’d have wanted to make him my new best friend. Or maybe that was the tequila already hitting my completely empty stomach. He cocked an eyebrow and I decided it was definitely the tequila talking.

When he sat back, I turned to look at the table and busied myself by eating chips and salsa, and the next time the waiter passed us, Kash ordered me another margarita. He and I didn’t say anything to each other or the flirting duo across from us until it was delivered to the table.

Pushing it toward me, he smiled softly and kept his eyes on the drink. “I’ll get us back to the complex. Just relax, and maybe try to enjoy this one, yeah?”

I laughed and his eyes flashed down to mine. Taking the drink, I took a sip and relaxed into the back of the booth. I didn’t understand this guy sitting next to me, and although I wanted to hate him, I found myself smiling as I thought about his no-bullshit attitude. I’d had a bad day and taken it out on a stranger—a gorgeous stranger, no less—and while I still felt embarrassed about the first and second impressions I was leaving, I couldn’t help but be intrigued by him.

But then thoughts of Blake crept back into my mind and I pushed down any feelings that may have started making themselves known about Kash as I scooted closer to the wall of the booth. Getting caught up in a guy was the last thing I needed right now.

4

Kash

“WHAT THE HELL are you thinking?”

“Uh . . . that she’s hot and I need to get laid?” Mason looked at me like I was missing something completely obvious.

“You really think it’s smart to get involved with someone while we’re in the middle of an assignment?”

He sighed heavily and dropped to the floor, leaning up against one of the walls. “You can’t tell me this assignment isn’t completely different from anything we’ve done. The only reason we can’t tell our families where we are is because of the hit. But other than that, what we’re doing—it’s like we’re detectives.”

“Yeah, and we’re still undercover.”

“Whatever, Kash, you think detectives don’t have relationships? Don’t have families?”

I groaned and raked a hand through my hair. He wasn’t getting it. “Of course they have relationships and families. They’re allowed to have lives. This”—I motioned to our empty apartment—“isn’t our life. We aren’t here to start new lives, Mason. We’re here to find a serial killer and stay hidden. All the rest of this is just for show. The minute we forget that is the minute James Camden slips through our fingers and another girl ends up dead. Do you want that on you?”

“What the fuck, Kash? Of course I don’t! Jesus, it’s not like I want to marry her. And from what she was saying last night, Candice isn’t the type of girl to be tied to one guy at a time. I don’t have to worry about her being clingy or wanting a relationship. So back off and instead of putting this shit on me, maybe worry about the fact that you couldn’t take your eyes off Rachel all night.”

My gaze quickly darted to the window that gave me a perfect view of the girls’ apartment. “She’s hot, sue me. But I’m not thinking about letting her get in the way of what we’re here for.”

“Perfect.” He stood up and stretched before heading to the front door. “I’m not going to let Candice get in the way either. But since we don’t check in ’til Monday, you can be damn sure I’m using this weekend to my advantage. See ya.”

“Have you forgotten we have no furniture?”

“Ask Rachel to go with you to pick out some stuff. I’m sure she’d be happy to do it.” He wagged his eyebrows and I groaned.

Just as he turned the doorknob, I slapped my hand down on the door to keep it shut and spoke low. “What we do? The lives we live? There’s no room for family or relationships, Mason. How many voice mails has your mom already left sobbing?” Mason ground his jaw but stayed quiet. “We’ve only been gone two days and they’re already freaking out. Because even though we didn’t tell them, they know what’s going on, and they’re fucking terrified. You hate doing that to your parents and sister; would you really want to bring a girlfriend or wife into what we do? Leaving them without notice for months or years at a time while we live the way those drug dealers do. You really want that for someone else?”

With a hard shove, he narrowed his eyes at me. “No, I wouldn’t do that. And what’s about to happen in that apartment”—he pointed toward the door—“will never make it that far. Even if it did, I would get out of undercover if I was getting serious with someone. You can’t do this for the rest of your life, Kash. And like I said, I’m not the one you need to be worried about. The way you were looking at Rachel last night . . . I’ve never seen you look at a girl like that, not even Megan. So stop freakin’ preaching to me and focus on yourself.”

Megan and I had dated all throughout high school, through the first couple years of college, and when I went through the academy. When Mason and I got moved to undercover, I told her as much as I could, but it wasn’t enough for her. She was engaged to some guy she’d met in one of her classes by the time we finished our first assignment. Mason knew I’d planned to marry her, and having Megan leave me put everything in perspective for me. I was happy for her now; she deserved someone who she could count on to be home for dinner, and I wasn’t that guy.

“Like I said, Rachel’s hot! Any guy with a working dick isn’t going to be able to stop looking at her. But whatever you’re thinking is happening for me with her, you’re wrong. She’s a grade-A bitch.”

Mason snorted. “Whatever, Kash. You weren’t just looking at her. You were studying her, like you were trying to figure her out. I know you better than anyone and I say if anyone here is in danger of losing focus, it’s you. Do me a favor, bro. Go get laid or something, lighten the hell up, and then we can focus on this case.” With that, he opened the door and practically charged across the hall.

The girls’ door opened, and like every other time I’d seen her, it felt like I’d gotten punched in the gut, all the air in my body leaving in one heavy rush. Rachel really was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. There was no doubting that. With long, dark hair; eyes so blue I’d found myself trying to see if she was wearing colored contacts—she wasn’t, by the way; and a soft smile that made me want to fall to my knees, it wasn’t hard to see why I couldn’t stop looking at her. And those legs. My eyes traveled down to her bare legs as she let Mason into their apartment and I subconsciously started sucking on my lip ring again. Dear God, those legs were freakin’ long and perfect . . . and headed right toward me.

My eyes snapped up and she looked back at her apartment door, which had just slammed shut, before meeting my gaze. “Morning, Kash.”

“Good morning.”

“Mason said you needed me for something in here.”

Oh hell no, he told her I needed to get laid? I was gonna kill him. I locked my jaw and spoke low. “I don’t need anything from you.” Especially pity sex.

Her blue eyes widened and she rocked back on her heels. “Wow, um, noted. Remind me never to come to you if something breaks or I need help moving heavy things. Have a nice day.” I swear I heard her mumble “asshole” when she turned and walked back to her door, then smacked right into it when she tried to open it and walk in at the same time. “What the– Oh hell no. Candice! Open the door!” She pounded her hand against the door. “Candice Marie Jenkins! I am in my pajamas and do not have my purse, cell phone, or keys. Open the damn door! I hear you two laughing!”

If I hadn’t been so pissed off at Mason for sending Rachel over here and for her agreeing to it, I’d have been laughing too.

“I swear, if you do not unlock this door and let me in, I will go Cali bitch on your asses!”

Okay, now I was laughing.

The door next to ours opened and a middle-aged man looked between Rachel and me. He had his cell in his hand like he couldn’t decide if he was going to call the cops or not.

“I will cut you!” Rachel swore and continued beating on the door; my neighbor looked at his phone and I groaned.

Pushing away from the wall, I took the few steps over to Rachel, grabbed around her waist, and pulled her back with me.

“Let me go, Kash. Candice! Open the door!”

“Calm down, you’re freaking the neighbors out.”

“I don’t care! I do not want to be locked out of my apartment so I’m forced to spend time with you! You’re rude, did you know that?”

I couldn’t help but laugh at her. “I’m rude? If you hate me so much, you should have never agreed to come ‘help’ me.” I nodded and gave a reassuring smile to the now-confused-looking neighbor before walking us into my apartment and releasing her.

“Excuse me for trying to be nice! That’s what people do, they help people, especially when they’re new to the– Holy crap, where’s all your stuff?” She looked around at our living room, which was mostly bare save for the two boxes Mason brought.

“We—”

“Is this what Mason was talking about? He said I’d know it when I saw it.”

Wait. What? “What are you talking about?”

“Mason said you needed me for something in here. I asked him what that something was, and he said as soon as I walked into the apartment I’d see what you needed help with.”

Fuck. Me. “Oh shit, Rachel. Um . . .”

“When is all your furniture coming?” She began walking around the place and her eyes got bigger with each empty room she came across. “Did you guys sleep in here last night?”

“Uh, yeah. Good news? Floor is actually pretty comfortable. So there’s that.”

“Bad news?”

“We don’t have anything coming, we need to go buy new stuff.” I took a deep breath and blew it out quickly. “And I’m starting to think that’s what Mason was sending you over here for.”

She’d been slowly nodding her head at the beginning, but then she stopped and tilted it to the side. “Starting to? What did you think we were talking about earlier?”

“Uh—so would you like to go furniture shopping with me?” I scratched the back of my neck nervously and she narrowed her beautiful eyes at me.

“No! I would not like to go furniture shopping with you, Kash. Did you already forget just telling me that you didn’t need anything from me?”

“I—that was a misunderstanding. I thought you . . . that Mason . . . it doesn’t matter. Like I said, misunderstanding. If you don’t want to come with me, that’s fine. You can hang out here, but obviously, you’d just be sitting on the floor.”

“What misunderstanding? What did you think was happening?”

I groaned and grabbed the keys out of my pocket. “Forget it, Rachel.”

“No, I deserve to know why you were so rude when I was offering to help you!”

I flung my arm out to the side and practically growled at her, “I thought he sent you over here to fuck me, and I thought you agreed to it!”

Instead of laughing at me, like I’d have expected any normal person to do, her stubborn expression fell, and all color drained from her face. Her mouth fell open and she quickly shut it, licking her lips as she forcibly swallowed. “I d-don’t want . . . I don’t want to have sex with you,” she whispered, and backed up until she hit the wall.

“Okay, Rachel, that’s fine.” I spoke like I was talking to a scared victim. What was going on with her? “That’s good to know, I don’t want to have sex with you either, that’s why I was an asshole earlier.”

That was a lie. I’d even freakin’ dreamed about this girl last night and woken with a painful hard-on I had to take care of in the shower, all the while Rachel flashing through my mind. And I’d lied to Mason earlier. Rachel wasn’t a bitch, though she’d definitely shown her bitchy side at our first meeting and before we got to the restaurant last night. But it didn’t take more than a handful of minutes watching her to realize it was her shield. It was her way of protecting herself. What she was hiding, I had no idea, and apparently it’d been obvious I was trying to figure it out last night. But there was something, and for some reason, I wanted to find out what it was and be whatever shield she needed.

And that was dangerous.

I’d been serious when I was talking to Mason about keeping focused, but he’d seen through my bullshit. I’d needed to say it to someone so I could try to get it through my head too. Anything with Rachel would be a bad idea. It wasn’t that I couldn’t have meaningless hookups; Mason and I had faced that a couple times with different groups we’d had to get into. To say we were paranoid about making sure we were still clean after being with those girls was an understatement. But from the moment Rachel had practically fallen out of her car yesterday afternoon, there was no doubting there was something different about her. There’s no such thing as meaningless when you find a girl like Rachel.

Rachel squeezed her eyes shut and took two deep breaths in and out before opening them again. But she wouldn’t look at me.

“Rachel?”

“What?” she snapped.

Shield. “Are you feeling okay, do you need something to eat or drink? I don’t have anything here but I can go get something.”

“I’m fine.” She took one more deep breath and forced her eyes to my face. “Tell me why you thought that’s why Mason would have me come over here.”

“It’s just something we were talking about.”

“You were talking about having sex with me?!”

“No! Jesus, no. We just—” I groaned and shifted my weight. “He was going over there to be with Candice and told me I needed to get laid. That’s all. Then you showed up saying what you said . . . and I just thought . . . It doesn’t matter.”

“Okay. Look, can we get out of your apartment? I’ll go help you pick out furniture or whatever. I just don’t feel comfortable being in here with you right now.” Her chest started rising and falling quickly and I just stood there staring at her.

I was scaring her? She was scared of me! That was fucking awesome. I couldn’t think about anything but getting to know her in every damn way possible, and I was freaking scaring her. Perfect. “Yeah, let’s go.”

We walked in silence out to my truck, and no, it didn’t escape my notice that she stayed an awkward distance from me. As soon as she was in the passenger seat, I ran to the driver’s side and hopped in. Just as I turned the ignition she cleared her throat and looked down at her hands, which she was twisting together. “Can we just get it out there right now that I don’t want anything with you or from you?”

I’m not going to lie; it felt like she’d punched me. But I still nodded.

“I’m not looking for, or interested in, a relationship. It’s nothing against you. I just—I can’t—I don’t. Um, I—”

“Rachel.” I waited until she looked up at me and again found myself wishing I could figure out what she was hiding from me. Did she have a boyfriend? Just get out of a bad relationship? “It’s fine. Nothing between us, I got it.”

With a quick breath in, she nodded her head and forced a smile. “We kind of got off on the wrong foot, but since we’re going to be neighbors I’d like it if we were friends. I’m sorry for how I was toward you when I met you, and I’m sorry for the confusion this morning—can we just start over?”

Only being friends with her sounded about as fun as kicking puppies right now. But this was good; I didn’t have time for a distraction and Rachel would definitely be a distraction . . . I don’t know why I even try lying to myself. The real problem was I couldn’t put Rachel in my world. I couldn’t put her in this danger, and being with her would put her right in the middle of it. So friends it was, then. “Sure,” I said softly, and watched a genuine smile cross her face.