Текст книги "Provoke"

Автор книги: Missy Johnson

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Chapter Fifteen

Leeta

Climbing onto the double bed, I sighed, not sure what I was feeling. Did his explanations make it better? Did it excuse what he’d done?

No, but knowing he wasn’t a rapist brought me relief.

I felt sorry for him. He blamed himself for Anna’s suicide; I could see that. He would do absolutely anything to avenge what had happened to her.

And there lay the problem.

He’d cheated on me. Whatever his reasons were, he had cheated on me.

He had fucked other women. My wonderful, beautiful Mace—the guy I thought could do no wrong by me—had betrayed me in the worst possible way. How could he claim to love me and turn around and do that? If you love someone, you don’t do that.

Blinking back tears, I dragged the covers up over my shoulders

Fuck you, Mace. Fuck you for doing this to me.

#

I woke up, disoriented. Where the hell was I?

Throwing back the covers, I stood up, unsteady on my feet. Slowly, things began filtering back to me: Mace. The videos. Anna. I gripped the sides of my head and squeezed my eyes shut. It was all too much. I couldn’t deal with it at the moment.

I opened the bedroom door and ventured out. Blood pumped through my veins. The thought of seeing him scares me. He wasn’t the guy I’d thought he was. All these secrets . . . it was like Ben all over again.

“Can I get you something?”

I jumped as Mace appeared in front of me. “No. Thanks.” I forced a smiled and walked over to the couch. Hang on, why did I feel like I had to be nice? I had every right to be annoyed at him.

He followed me over and sat down on the coffee table in front of me, placing his hands on my knees. I tensed and pushed them away.

“Don’t . . .” I began, my voice trailing off. “Just don’t.”

“Leet, please—”

“Please what? For fuck’s sake, give me some damn space! Let me process what you’ve told me. I think I deserve that—don’t you?” My voice was cold. His eyes clouded with frustration as he stood up and cursed.

He turned around and slapped his keys down on the table. I stared up at him. I could feel the blood drain from my face. What was he doing?

“Just go. Fucking leave, Leeta. Call the cops, whatever. I don’t give a shit. If you aren’t able to forgive me . . .” He shook his head violently. “Then I don’t want you here.” He stalked to the bathroom and slammed the door, leaving me sitting there, stunned.

He’s angry with me?

What the fuck?

Crouching down, I picked up the keys and held them tightly in my hand. How could he expect me to forgive him in the space of a few fucking hours? He was insane.

My head screamed at me to get out of there, but I didn’t. Instead, I sat. I sat there and I waited, because I needed answers.

And if I left then, I’d never get them.

Chapter Sixteen

Mace

I should have told her everything.

I took off my shirt, rubbing my hand over my bare chest as I turned the shower on. I stepped out of my jeans and boxers, and stood under the steaming hot water.

She needed time, and I should have given her that. At least then there would have been a small, miniscule chance that she would have understood. Instead, I’d snapped and pushed her away.

What did I expect?

I’d cheated on her. I couldn’t blame her for being angry with me. I was pissed at myself, and I’d taken that out on her. And now she was gone. I’d fucked up the only good thing in my life.

“Fuck!” I yelled, as I roughly soaped up my body. I rinsed off the suds and then twisted the taps off. Stepping out of the shower, I reached for a towel, wrapping it around my waist. I pushed the wet hair from my eyes, pulled open the door, and walked back through to the living room.

“Leet,” I gasped, stopping in my tracks. She sat in the same spot she had fifteen minutes before, tossing my keys from one hand to the other.

She’s still here.

“You could’ve gotten away. You could have left.” I ran my hand through my wet hair, stunned, not sure what to feel.

“But I didn’t.”

I stared at her, mixed emotions running through me. I was angry that she was stupid enough to still be there. I was relieved that I hadn’t blown my chance. But most of all, I was confused.

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Mace . . . do you trust me?”

I lowered my head and sighed. Did I trust her? Could I tell her the truth?

“I learned a long time ago not to trust anyone, Leeta.”

She stood up. Slowly and deliberately, she walked over to me. My heart began to beat faster as I stared into those deep-blue eyes. My beautiful Leeta. I could feel myself wavering.

“I don’t know why I didn’t leave, Mace. I just . . .” She stopped and shook her head. “I want to believe you. I want to trust you, but I feel like you’re still holding back.”

“Leet,” I sighed, and reached for her hand. She didn’t pull away. “I’m so sorry.” I pulled her toward me, needing her in my arms. She didn’t resist. My hands roamed her back as I tilted her face up to mine.

She whimpered softly as I kissed her, my lips pressing gently against hers. God, it felt good to kiss her. My fingers edged underneath her shirt, the softness of her smooth skin incredible against my touch.

“Oh, Leet,” I muttered. I lifted her onto my hips. Her legs wrapped around me tightly as she kissed me, her fingers roaming through my short hair. I carried her into the bedroom and threw her down on the bed, yanking at her jeans.

“Oh yeah,” she muttered as I ripped open her shirt and lifted up her bra. I took her nipple in my mouth and began to suck. Positioning myself between her legs, I kissed my way down her stomach, my tongue spiralling over her soft skin. Her muscles tensed as I neared the top of her black thong.

Looping my fingers around their stretchy fabric, I tugged them down, over her knees, until they floated to the floor. She groaned as I spread her legs apart and licked along her sweet spot.

“I . . . wow,” she muttered. One hand was balanced on my head, clutching at my hair, as the other covered her face. Her ankles locked around my neck as she slid herself further down the bed.

I kissed the insides of her thighs, breathing in her sweet scent before burying my face in her pussy. I ran my tongue over her soft, bare entrance, noting how wet and ready she was for me. I chuckled as she tried to push my head closer to her before plunging my tongue inside, not wanting to deny her any longer.

Her hips bucked as she arched her back. She cried out as my tongue roamed her pussy while my finger teased her clit. I glanced up at her and smirked, circling my tongue around her clit, pushing her to the edge. My cock was aching for her. I needed to feel myself inside her. I lifted myself onto the bed. Curling her legs around me, she groaned as I pushed myself inside her wet pussy.

“Harder,” she gasped. Pressing her leg against her chest, I rammed deeper inside of her. I groaned as my cock began to throb as I exploded, releasing inside her. Fuck, she is incredible. Pulling out, I collapsed beside her on the bed, exhausted and covered in sweat.

As she nuzzled into my arms, I could almost pretend the last few days hadn’t happened. I gently stroked her back, my lips touching her forehead over and over again. I’d do anything for her. Absolutely anything. The same way I would’ve done anything for Anna.

If I can let Anna down, what’s to say I can’t do the same to Leet?

I smiled as she snored softly, her lips blowing air gently out against my chest. I stayed awake all night and watched her just to have that moment to look back on and remember.

Tomorrow, she’d be back to hating me. Back to fighting her feelings. Who knew the next time I’d be this close to her. I reached out, my fingers running gently over the curve of her hip. Fuck, you’re so beautiful. She had no idea how much I loved her. Probably because I hadn’t exactly been showing that lately. But I did. More than anything in this world, I loved her. She was my life. My family. But to do right by her, I had to fix my other mistakes. And that meant catching the fuckers who hurt my sister.

Kissing her forehead, she stirred and smiled, her grip around my tightening. I sighed, and snuggled closer to her. Why couldn’t shit stay like this forever?

Chapter Seventeen

Leeta

I woke up alone. A heavy feeling filled my stomach as I remembered the night before. I groaned. I’d slept with him? God, Leeta. And unprotected sex? I had an implant, but in light of the last few days, it had been an idiotic move.

I wasn’t stupid. You don’t get as far as I had in my career by making poor decisions. Love can make you do stupid things. But at what point do you say enough is enough?

I lay on the bed, my arms in a tangled mess under the pillow as I hugged it to my body. Everything was just so fucked. Was he telling me the truth? I could see in his eyes how much he’d loved his sister. How could I blame him for wanting to find the people who did that to her?

Wait, how can you not be angry with him? Whatever his justifications were, he slept with another woman. Two other women, in fact. And they were only the ones I knew about. What if there were more?

I was torn between my head and my heart, and I wasn’t sure I could let either of them win. All I wanted to do was roll over and go back to sleep, and erase the last two days completely.

Shit.

I sat up with a start. Fucking work. I had totally forgotten about work. If I still had a job, they would probably fire me. Mace had taken my phone, but I had no idea if he had called them or what. What the hell was I going to say to them? Sorry, my boyfriend kidnapped me, but I’ll be in tomorrow. Yeah, that was going to cut it.

I sat up and listened for any sign that he was there. Nothing. The motel was still and quiet. Working up the nerve, I wrapped the sheet around me and crept over to the door. I cracked it open. I sighed, relieved that I didn’t have to face him just yet. I was alone.

A scrap of paper sat on the kitchen counter. I walked over and picked it up.

Leet,

I got you some things from your house. Take as long as you need, and when you’re ready to talk, call me.

Love Mace

P.S: I called in sick for you at work. I said you won’t be back in this week. I hope that’s okay.

I carried the note over to the couch and sat down. He hoped it was okay that he called work for me? I chuckled. He could be so sweet. That was the guy I fell in love with. He could be rough, and he always acted before he thought about the consequences, but he always had his heart in the right place.

Even now. This . . . it was all about Anna.

Stop it! Stop letting him get away with this. You deserve someone better.

There was a right way and a wrong way to deal with things, and this had been the wrong way . . . hadn’t it? If I were in his position, what would I have done? According to Mace, there was no real proof to take to the cops. I knew better than anyone that the little evidence he had wouldn’t hold up in court.

I walked over to the couch where a stack of clothes was placed along with my laptop, my phone, and a few other bits and pieces. Sitting down, I flicked open my laptop and navigated to my email.

There were a few emails from Tim wondering where the hell I was, then hoping that I was feeling better, and finally whining about me needing to come back so he would have someone to talk to. I chuckled and hit reply.

You seem less concerned with my wellbeing and more upset about not having anyone to bitch with. I’m feeling a little better. Hopefully I’ll be back for next week. Am I missing much?

I clicked send and then opened Google. I wasn’t even sure what I was looking for. There was no point trying to find anything on the internet, because I was pretty sure rape-selling websites covered their tracks better than that.

Ping. I glanced at my email notifications. That was quick.

Nothing. Especially considering it’s Saturday. But that place is as boring as bat-shit without my girl there. Hell, it’s as boring as bat-shit with you there, but at least you make the day pass quicker.

I chuckled. I hesitated. I really needed a friend. If ever I missed Laura, it was right then. I couldn’t give myself unbiased advice; not when deep down I was looking for a reason to forgive him.

I could use a friend right now, Tim.

My mobile rang immediately.

“That was quick.” I chuckled, after checking that it was actually Tim.

“You tell me you need a friend, I’m there for you, Leeta. You know that.”

I sighed, relieved. I did know that. Tim might be the most dramatic, self-absorbed person I knew, but he always had my back. Any hint that I needed him, and he was there for me.

“What’s up? Everything okay?”

“Not really. Just a few problems in the old love life area,” I said.

“What’s up? You might feel better if you let whatever it is out.”

“You’re just nosey,” I chuckled. But he was right: I probably would feel better. “This doesn’t go beyond us, okay?”

“Of course.”

I explained—in as little detail as I could—about Mace’s sister, her rape, and him trying to “catch” the bad guys. I left out the bit about him kidnapping me; Tim didn’t need to know that. Or that I’d slept with him last night.

“Look, you obviously feel sorry for him because of his sister. Why don’t you focus on helping him with that? You don’t need to decide how you feel about him right now, Leeta. You’re allowed time to process how you feel.”

“Thanks, Tim. I think that was about the deepest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Yeah, well, don’t get used to it,” he grumbled. “But seriously, anytime you need to talk, I’m here.”

I hung up feeling better.

He was right: I didn’t need to decide on how I felt about Mace right then, but I could still help him. But to do that, I needed to gather every bit of information I could on Anna and this website.

After a quick search, I realized I couldn’t do it without Mace’s help. He was already so far ahead of me with his knowledge, trying to do it on my own was both stupid and a waste of time. What was the point retracing the steps he had already uncovered?

Reaching for my phone, I texted him.

I need all the information you have on Anna and what happened to her.

My phone began to ring. I sighed. I wasn’t ready to talk to him. But how else was I going to help Anna?

“Yes?” My voice came out tight.

“Why do you want that?” he asked, confusion clouding his voice.

“Because if I’m going to help you find out exactly what happened, I need to know what you know.”

“No way, Leeta. No fucking way. You are not getting involved here,” he growled.

“Guess what, Mace? You don’t have a choice. Either I help, or it’s the cops. Your call.” His silence confirmed his decision. “Right, so get me what you know. Either email it, or drop it over, or whatever.”

“Fine,” he sighed, sounding less than thrilled. “I’ll drop it over.”

I threw down the phone, annoyed that he didn’t want me involved. If he had really wanted to keep me out of this, he would have hid his stash of videos better. I mean really, I was useless with a computer, and it had taken me ten minutes to stumble across them. What the hell had he been thinking?

Standing up, I went into the small kitchen and poured myself a glass of water. Gulping it down, I tried to calm myself. He would be here soon, and the last thing I wanted was for him to see how much I was hurting.

Chapter Eighteen

Mace

I pulled up outside the motel feeling a little on edge. I had no idea what was going on in her head, especially after the night before. I groaned. Why did I go there? All I’d done was confuse the situation even more. Sleeping with her when she was vulnerable was a low act.

I should have kept my cock in my fucking pants.

I got out of the car and slammed the door. I had my laptop with me, which had everything I knew about Anna’s rape and the people responsible on it. Getting Leet involved was a bad move, but it was the only one I had right now.

“Leet,” I said, rapping on the door. “It’s me.”

“Come in, it’s open.”

I opened the door. My mouth dropped. Holy shit, she was beautiful. She was only wearing sweat pants and a tee shirt, but I wanted to take her off that couch and slam her against the wall. I wanted to feel myself inside of her. Memories of the night before flashed through my mind.

I repositioned the laptop in front of my erection. Her gaze dropped, and she rolled her eyes.

“Okay, firstly, last night: it shouldn’t have happened, and it will not be happening again—at least, not anytime soon. Okay?”

I nodded, only hearing “anytime soon”. My heart pounded as it translated that into I will eventually forgive you.

“We need to look at everything you have so far. What do you know about these guys?” she asked, turning her attention back to her own laptop.

I smiled. She looked so cute when she was concentrating on something. I loved the way her nose scrunched up like that. And how she’d scratch behind her ear when something was bothering her.

“Mace?” she prodded, staring at me.

“Right. Sorry,” I murmured. I sat down and opened my laptop, navigating my way through the files until I found the one I needed. “Okay. I don’t know that much.” It wasn’t that I didn’t know much, it was more that I was all over the place. I had no idea where to go next.

Leeta sighed. “So, tell me what you do know.”

“In the letter Anna left me, there was a name. She suggested he might be able to help me understand. There was no number, just a name. It took me months to track him down. Turns out, for the right amount of cash he was happy to hook me up with the job.”

“So, just like that?” Leeta scrunched her nose. “What’s his angle?”

“What do you mean?” The guy got ten fucking grand out of me. I’d say that was a pretty damn good angle.

“Why would this guy help you, Mace?” She sighed and rubbed her forehead. “People don’t do shit like this without an agenda. You should know that better than anyone.”

I tensed. This was the first time since we’d met that she had made me feel inferior to her. Others had been doing it all along, but Leeta? Never.

“I’m not an idiot, Leet, but what other option do I have right now?” I snapped. “This guy is my only link. He is the only connection I have to this group right now, so excuse me if I’m gonna take it. Besides, all he cared about was the amount of cash I was willing to part with.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I was just . . . I don’t know.” She let out a breath. Setting her computer down on the coffee table, she sat forward, her arms resting on her knees. “Okay, so what do we know, then?”

“I know there are others. All three clients I had—”

“Three?” she cut in. Her eyes widened. “There’s another video?”

Shit. Oh shit. My mouth opened, and no sound came out.

“Mace, I swear to God, if you don’t—”

“Yes, Leeta, there was a third . . . job. Last Thursday night.”

Her mouth dropped open. She stood up and shook her head, her hands reaching to the back of her neck. “Wow,” she muttered. She turned to face me. “Where is the video?”

“Leet,” I began, already knowing my pleas were hopeless.

“Come on, Mace. You think I want to watch you fucking another woman? Guess what, I don’t! But if we are going to have any chance of finding these guys, then I need to watch that damn fucking video.”

She was right. I knew she was right. I could watch that thing a thousand times and still not see what might be the only clue. Leeta had fresh eyes, and she also had training in this kind of thing.

I located the file and pressed open. Wordlessly, I pushed it down the coffee table to her. What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t sit there while she watched that. I stood up.

“Sit the fuck back down.” My eyebrows shot up. I’d never heard her speak with such authority toward me. “You think you get to leave while I watch this? No fucking way, Mace. You are going to sit there and watch this with me.”

I am?

Crap. I edged over to the couch and joined her.

It had to be the most awkward moment of my life. I groaned internally and covered my face with my hand, disguising it as a scratch. She didn’t need me there; it was her way of punishing me. Not that I didn’t deserve whatever she wanted to give me, but still . . . this was harsh stuff.

“Why is this one awake?” she asked immediately.

I shrugged. “He wanted her lucid. Something about watching her squirm. Seeing her suffer.”

Leeta didn’t respond. She went back to watching me thrust my fingers inside of another woman. I swallowed, knowing there was nothing I could do to take away the awkwardness of this situation. So I sat there and copped it, fidgeting with my fingers, trying to ignore the voice demanding that I ‘stick my cock in her filthy hole.’

Leet stiffened next to me, but she was so determined to act like all this didn’t affect her at all that I struggled myself with how to act? Do I let it go? Apologise again? I shook my head. Nothing I did right now was going to make any difference, except maybe make things worse.

The banging on the door of the motel room scared the shit out of me. Jumping up, I glanced at Leeta.

“Did you tell anyone you were here?” I whispered.

She blushed, standing up. “That’s my friend, Tim.”

My eyes widened. “What the fuck, Leeta? This isn’t a fucking slumber party. You can’t just invite your friends over,” I growled.

She turned around and stomped toward me. “I’m not an idiot, Mace. I thought he might be able to help, you fuckwit. He’s a computer expert. He does shit like . . .” She waved her hand. “I don’t know. He can tell you what he does.”

I followed her to the door, still pissed that she hadn’t thought to bring this up at any time in the past few hours.

“Leeta!”

I didn’t bother hiding my scowl as I watched Leeta embrace a tall, thin dude I could only assume was Tim. He glanced my way and then winked at Leet, who laughed.

“And you must be Mace,” he drawled, swaggering over to me. I put out my hand, accepting that I was going to have to play nice with this guy. He waved my hand away and fell into my arms.

My mouth fell open as I awkwardly patted him on the back. I had not been expecting that. Leeta smothered a laugh and I shot her a look. She knew better than anyone how hard it was for me to open up to people.

I thought back to the last time I’d hugged Dad. It had been awkward, forced, as it normally was. Fuck, a handshake was difficult in my family, let alone a fucking hug.

“We’re going to get along fine.” Tim grinned, pulling away from me. I nodded and smiled at him. It was nothing personal against him, but I didn’t like the guy already. The way he hung all over Leeta made my blood boil. Which was stupid, because he was so obviously gay that he was more likely to hit on me than her.

That didn’t stop me hating how relaxed and comfortable she looked around him. Or how, right then, he could make her smile and I couldn’t.

“Can I get you a drink?” I asked Tim. “Coffee?”

“Sure. Coffee, two sugars and cream, thanks.”

“Leet?” I asked.

“A coffee would be good, thank you.”

I went into the kitchen, their chatter taking a backseat in my mind. I turned on the kettle, leaning against the kitchen counter while I waited for it to boil. If this guy was such a good friend, then how come I was only meeting him now? Was she ashamed of me or something?

Get a grip. You’re losing it.

“. . . so take a look and tell me what you think.”

My head shot up. Surely she wasn’t showing him the fucking video? But she was. Fuck. Was she trying to piss me off? The last thing I needed was this guy getting all judgy on me.

My fingers tapped anxiously on the Laminex bench top as Tim and Leeta hovered over her laptop. I’d watched that damn video so many times by then, it was running in my head as I listened to it. With each second that passed, I was becoming more agitated.

If I stay here, I’m going to do something stupid.

“I’ll be back soon,” I muttered, stalking out the door. I jumped into my car and backed out of the parking lot.

#

I stopped off at Leets to feed the cat, then picked up my bike from my house and headed for work. I just needed to go somewhere to get my mind off things, and the only place I could think to do that was the garage. Finn would be there, and given my less-than-friendly mood at the moment, he would probably ask questions, but that was a risk I was willing to take.

I pulled into the parking lot and got out of the car, slamming the door. How had shit gotten so messed up? I laughed bitterly. I was a Jordan—this was how my life was supposed to be, wasn't it?

"Wasn't expecting you in today." Finn stood near the roller door, attempting to clean grease from his hands with an old rag.

"Yeah, well, things change," I muttered, setting myself up in front of an old Harley that needed an oil change and a service.

“Is everything okay?”

“Why wouldn't it be?” I shrugged.

“I don't know, you just seem a little off,” he said.

I stood up and wiped my brow with my forearm. I could really use a friend to talk to. The guys were my buddies, but it wasn't like we sat around and shared secrets. We’d known each other for years, but it was a case of meet up and relax, play a few games of pool, drink a few beers—typical guy stuff. We didn’t do feelings and shit.

I struggled to open up to Leet, let alone Finn.

“Just having a few problems,” I muttered.

Finn nodded. “Fine, but if you need to talk, I mean, you can tell me anything, yeah?”

“Yeah, thanks man,” I said, smiling awkwardly. The thing was, I couldn’t ask his advice on anything without going into a shitload of detail.

I resumed working on the bike, unsuccessfully trying to keep my mind off Leeta. After busting my third oil filter, Finn shot me a look.

“Dude, maybe you should go home and relax or something.”

“That's the problem. I can't relax.”

“Yeah, well, no offense, but all you’re doing here is breaking shit.”

I threw the spanner down on the ground, wincing as it bounced across the concrete floor. He was right—I fucking knew that—it was just that the last thing I needed was somebody telling me what to do.

Fuck. Maybe I shouldn't be here. I stood up abruptly, sending the milk crate I'd been sitting on flying backwards.

“Fine,” I muttered. “Have it your way. I'm gone.” I ignored Finn’s protests and stormed back out to my bike.

For the next hour or so, I just rode. I was heading nowhere in particular, and it felt good.

Why hadn't I thought of that first?

There was no better way for me to clear my head than on my bike—especially finding an unused back road somewhere, where I could take my helmet off, do a few burnouts, and just let off some steam. This is what I needed. I already felt better.

Parking my bike, I jumped off and sat down on a grassy patch beside it. It was as good a time as any to try and think out my next move. I couldn't think straight around Leeta. Never could. I knew I didn't want her to be any more involved than she already was. If anything happened to her because of me, I’d never forgive myself.

But I also knew how stubborn she could be.

I gripped hold of a few blades of grass between my fingertips, and tugged them from the ground. Lifting my hand above my head, I let the blades fall, watching as they slowly floated towards the ground, not really knowing where they would end up.

That was kind of how I felt—like I was free-falling without a parachute, with no idea how long it was until I hit the ground.

#

I got to my feet and picked up my helmet. I had to get back there. I could put it off facing her for a while, but not forever. The last thing I wanted was to get into another fight. What I wanted was for things to go back to the way they were before—which was ridiculous, considering I'd built our whole relationship around lies.

I shook my head. What she’d ever seen in a fuck-knuckle like me, I would never know.