Текст книги "A Secret Affair"

Автор книги: Mary Balogh

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Текущая страница: 22 (всего у книги 23 страниц)

23

THEY HAD ARGUED since yesterday about where they would marry. Though argued was perhaps not quite the right word since both were fully intent upon being unselfish in the matter.

Constantine thought they should marry at Copeland as it was Hannah’s home and she clearly loved it. A bride ought to marry from her own home.

He was wise enough not to mention Markle.

Hannah thought they should marry at Ainsley as it was Constantine’s home and he clearly loved it. Besides, it seemed fitting that the new Earl of Ainsley should marry at Ainsley Park.

They agreed that St. George’s was the best and most convenient compromise. It was on Hanover Square, a mere stone’s throw from Dunbarton House. The bride could walk there. The whole ton could be expected to attend. Perhaps even the king would come. It was the fashionable place to marry.

Neither of them wanted to marry there, though neither was willing to admit it to the other.

It was going to have to be Copeland.

Or Ainsley.

Or perhaps St. George’s.

“Tell us about your nuptials, Your Grace,” Miss Winsmore said as soon as they were all seated about the dinner table at Merton House. “When and where are they to be?”

“As soon as possible to answer your first question,” Hannah said. “We still have not decided the answer to your second.”

She drew breath to give her vote for Ainsley Park, expecting that Constantine’s family would back her up, but the Earl of Merton spoke first.

“But you must marry at Warren Hall, Con,” he said. “It is still and always your home. It is where you were born, where you grew up. The private chapel has always been used for family weddings and christenings and… burials,” he added more softly.

“Oh, that would be so lovely,” Cassandra said as footmen served the first course. “But Hannah may have other ideas, Stephen. It is her wedding as well as Con’s.”

But she gazed at Hannah with wistful eyes.

“Elliott and I married there,” Vanessa said, “as did Cassandra and Stephen last year. It is the loveliest place for a wedding. The chapel is in a quiet corner of the park, among the trees, and it is full to overflowing with just a few guests. There is a wonderful sense of history there too with the churchyard surrounding the chapel. Family history.”

It must be where Jonathan was buried, Hannah thought. And suddenly she knew that that was where they must marry. She felt a sense of rightness about it even before she looked across the table at Constantine and noted the intense, drawn look on his face.

“It is good of you to be willing to lend us the chapel, Stephen,” he said. “But I think Hannah must be allowed to-”

“Choose for herself?” she said, interrupting him. “I will, then. Thank you. I will choose.”

She knew that his smile came at a great cost.

“I choose Warren Hall,” she said, her eyes on his.

And she felt almost as though she were falling into them as his smile faded.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“I am absolutely sure,” she told him, and she was. “Warren Hall it will be. Thank you, Lord Merton. You are very kind.”

“I think I had better be Stephen,” he said, “if you are going to marry Con. I think we had better all be on a first-name basis.”

And suddenly everyone was talking at once, and the dinner was being consumed with great appetite. Margaret, Vanessa, and Katherine had the grand ballroom at Warren Hall and the private chapel decorated for the wedding festivities before the main course was removed, and Cassandra had the menu for the wedding breakfast drawn up before dessert was served.

“You might as well relax and let things happen, Con,” Elliott advised. “You have done your job. You have offered Hannah marriage and been accepted. The rest is in the hands of the ladies.”

For a day or two before her wedding, Hannah was informed, she would stay at Finchley Park, one of the Duke of Moreland’s estates adjoining Warren Hall, the place where he had grown up. So would several other people, including Vanessa and Elliott and their children and Elliott’s mother and sisters and any personal guests Hannah chose to invite. But she must not worry, Vanessa assured her. There was a picturesque and secluded dower house by the lake at Finchley, where she and Elliott had spent their honeymoon. It was where Hannah and Constantine must spend theirs. And if there were a more romantic setting in which to begin a marriage, Vanessa did not know where it might be.

“Do you remember the daffodils?” she asked Elliott.

And the rather austere Duke of Moreland was observed to wink back at her.

Hannah caught Constantine’s eye across the table, and they exchanged a smile that might well have been imperceptible to anyone else. He had warned her on the way here that his female cousins on his father’s side were a formidable trio, and that Cassandra was proving to be a worthy addition to their number. If Hannah was not careful, he had told her, her wedding would be taken right out of her hands and caught up in their very capable ones.

And that was before he had known the wedding would be in their domain-at Warren Hall.

“Oh, dear,” Katherine said suddenly, and the tone of her voice caused a general hush about the table. “We are at it again. We grew up in a small country village, Hannah, as children of the vicar. There were always things to be done and things to be organized. And we were the ones who tended to step forward to do them and organize them. Unless someone does it, you know, nothing gets done at all and country life becomes unutterably dull. But though we have left that life behind, we have never got out of the habit of organizing.”

“We have not indeed,” Margaret said with a sigh. “You have never been known as a helpless, indecisive lady, Hannah. I daresay you have been sitting there laughing at us. You probably have your wedding all planned without any help from us.”

All eyes were on her, Hannah was aware, the ladies’ rather wistful, the gentlemen’s more amused.

“I am not laughing,” she said. “Quite the opposite.” And, sure enough, she had to blink away tears. “And I have never planned a wedding-or had one planned for me. I agreed yesterday to marry Constantine, but I can see today that I will be marrying into his family too, and I am happier about that than I can possibly say.”

The duke had told her that when she found love she would find the community of belonging that went with it.

It was almost time for the ball to begin. The gentlemen did not linger in the dining room after the ladies left. They all adjourned together to the ballroom to await the arrival of the first guests.

Constantine’s new title was to be announced at supper, Hannah knew. And so was their betrothal. It was the beginning of a new era. She glanced down at the lovely turquoise of her gown and was glad she had changed out of her white dress even though doing so had made her late. She did not have to hide any longer. She did not have to fortify herself with any armor of ice and diamonds.

She was the Duchess of Dunbarton, soon to be the Countess of Ainsley. But most important of all, she was Hannah. She was herself as life and her own character and experiences had made her. She liked herself. And she was in love.

She was happy.

Guests began to arrive, and Constantine took her hand and set it on his sleeve. They strolled together about the ballroom, stopping briefly to talk to acquaintances as they went. They were both smiling.

“Have you noticed,” Constantine asked, “that everyone who enters the ballroom looks at you twice, once with a simple appreciation for your beauty, and once with sudden, shocked recognition?”

“I think it is you they are looking at,” she said. “You look quite dazzling when you smile.”

“You are happy about Warren Hall?” he asked.

“I am,” she said. “You will have all your family close by, Constantine. Including Jonathan.”

“Yes,” he said. “And you, Hannah?”

She looked at him and her smile faded.

“Will you have your family close by?” he asked.

“I will invite Barbara and Mr. Newcombe,” she said. “Perhaps they will be willing to travel again for my wedding.”

“When you are not going to theirs?” he said. “Is that real friendship?”

Why was he talking about this now? The ballroom was filling. The air was growing warm. The level of conversation was rising. The orchestra members were tuning their instruments.

“Very well,” she said, lifting both her chin and her fan and becoming for the moment the Duchess of Dunbarton. “I will invite my father and my sister and brother-in-law and my nephews and nieces. I will even invite the Reverend and Mrs. Leavensworth. And I will go to Barbara’s wedding. We will both go. Are you satisfied?”

“I am,” he said. “My love.”

And very briefly and very scandalously, especially in light of an announcement that had not yet been made, he touched his lips to hers.

“You are going to have to marry me after that, sir,” she said.

“Dash it all,” he said, grinning, “and so I am.”

“None of them will come,” she warned him. “Except perhaps Barbara. Even she will probably not.”

“The reaching out is everything, my love,” he said. “It is all you can do. It is all any of us can ever do. Come and dance with me. And then I will with the greatest reluctance obey all the rules and dance with you only once more-after supper and the announcements. It is to be a waltz. I wrestled Stephen to the floor and held him there until he agreed that a waltz it would be.”

She laughed.

“And if my card is full?” she asked.

“Then I will wrestle your waltz partner to the floor and hold him there until he remembers that he is wearing new dancing shoes and they are pinching and blistering his toes horribly,” he said.

“Absurd,” she said, still laughing.

***

SOMETHING ELSE they had discussed both yesterday and today was where they would live after their marriage. It had been an easier matter to settle.

At Ainsley Park, Constantine had already moved out of the house in order to accommodate more residents. The dower house had been perfectly satisfactory for his bachelor needs, but it would be less so for a wife and-it was to be hoped-a family. And if he spent less time there, he explained to Hannah, then some of the rooms at the dower house could be opened up too-perhaps for his manager and the instructors. All they themselves would need was one suite of rooms for their use when they went there for visits.

He would go a few times a year, of course. Those people were precious to him, and he dared believe that he was precious to them too.

At Copeland Hannah would be close to Land’s End and the elderly people there of whom she was so fond. But Copeland itself would be their own private domain. And it was lovely indeed with its unspoiled park and house on a rise with breathtaking views in every direction. It would be a child’s paradise in the years to come. It was close to London.

And London would, of course, be their home during the spring. Next year he would have to take his place in the Upper House of Parliament. They would live at his house there even though it was not in the most fashionable part of town. They did not need anything ostentatious.

Copeland, then, was to be their primary home.

He was happy about that, Constantine thought as he danced and watched Hannah dance. He would be happy actually to live in a hovel with her-though perhaps it would be as well if no one ever put that theory to the test.

And then it was suppertime and Stephen announced to the gathered ton that his cousin, Constantine Huxtable, was to be honored by His Majesty the King with the title Earl of Ainsley before the Season ended. And that the Earl of Ainsley would take the Duchess of Dunbarton as his countess soon afterward in a private ceremony at Warren Hall.

How many weeks was it, Constantine wondered, since he had ridden in Hyde Park with Monty and Stephen and seen Hannah for the first time in two years-and looked upon her with disapproval? It was not very many, but it was hard to remember quite how she had looked to him then. It was strange how very different a person looked when one knew her inside as well as out.

He had been starting to think about marrying even then. Little had he realized, though, as he looked upon her in the park, that she was the one.

The one.

His only love.

The dancing was late resuming. Everyone wanted to congratulate them and wish them well. A large number of men swore they would wear black armbands for a whole year, starting tomorrow. Hannah tapped them all sharply on the sleeve with her fan.

And then it was time to waltz.

It was a dance Constantine had always enjoyed, provided he was allowed to choose his own partners. Fortunately, men had more control of such matters than women did. But Hannah did not look as if she was complaining when he led her onto the floor.

“Happy?” he asked her as he circled her waist with his right arm and took her right hand in his left.

“Oh, I am,” she said with a sigh. “But I am not at all sure I am going to enjoy all the fuss of these wedding preparations. Perhaps we ought to have eloped.”

“My cousins would never forgive us,” he said, grinning at her.

“I know,” she said. “But I just want to be with you.”

He had been trying valiantly to ignore similar feelings.

“You want to come tonight,” he asked her, “after the ball?”

She gazed into his eyes for several moments before sighing again.

“No,” she said at last. “I am no longer your lover, Constantine. I am your betrothed. There is a difference.”

He was disappointed-and relieved. There was a difference.

“We will be good, then,” he said, “and look forward to our wedding night.”

“Yes,” she agreed. “But it is not just that. I want… Oh, I do not know what I want. I want to be your wife.”

He smiled at her.

“And I have just remembered something,” she said, brightening visibly. “The duke taught me that I should never say I want, that it implies a lack in myself and leads to abjectness. I do not want to be your wife. I will be your wife, and I shall throw myself into preparations for my wedding with Margaret and the others so that the time may go faster. And oh, Constantine, it is wonderful indeed to have family to fuss over my wedding, even if part of me would prefer to elope.”

The music began.

They waltzed beneath chandeliers bright with candlelight and among banks of flowers and ferns and about other dancers with their swirling satins and silks of many colors and their gleaming jewels, and they had eyes only for each other.

He had always felt that he lived on the edges of life, Constantine realized, watching everyone else living, sometimes helping them do it. He had been hurt so deeply by Jon’s death because he had tried to live his brother’s life and discovered at the end that it could not be done. Jon had had to do his own dying. Which was only right and proper, he knew now. Jon had lived his own life, and he had lived it richly and then died when his time came.

And now it was his, Constantine’s, turn. Suddenly, and for the first time, he was at the center of his own life, living it and loving it.

Loving the woman who was at the center of it with him.

Loving Hannah.

She was smiling at him.

He twirled them about one corner of the ballroom and smiled back.

24

THE WEDDING of Hannah Reid, Duchess of Dunbarton, to Constantine Huxtable, Earl of Ainsley, was a small affair by ton standards. More surprising, to Hannah at least, it was a family affair, overrun by children, all of whom attended both the ceremony in the small chapel in the park of Warren Hall and the wedding breakfast at the house afterward.

Most surprisingly, it was not only Constantine’s family that was in attendance. Her father came. So did Dawn and Colin, her sister and brother-in-law, and their five children-Louisa, aged ten, Mary, eight, Andrew, seven, Frederick, five, and Thomas, three. And Barbara came with her parents-the Reverend Newcombe was unable to get away so soon after the last time and before his own wedding and honeymoon.

Her father had scarcely changed, Hannah discovered when he arrived at Finchley Park the day before her wedding. The same could not be said for either Colin or Dawn. Both had expanded in girth and looked noticeably older. Colin had lost some of his hair and his youthful good looks. Dawn, in contrast, looked rosy-cheeked and placidly contented-though not at the moment of her arrival.

It had taken some courage for them to come, Hannah guessed.

She had decided ahead of time to behave as though there had been no estrangement, and they had made the same decision, it seemed. They hugged one another, greeted one another, and smiled. And they hid the embarrassment they must all be feeling by turning to the children, who were spilling out of another carriage.

She had two nieces and three nephews she knew virtually nothing about, Hannah thought as she gazed at each of them in turn as they made their curtsy or bow. She had never allowed Barbara to speak of her family.

Under slightly altered circumstances, Colin could now have been her husband for ten years or more. He looked like a stranger she had once met long ago.

“Do come inside,” she said. “There are tea and cakes awaiting everyone.”

“Aunt Hannah,” Frederick said, slipping a hand into hers as she turned toward the house, “I have new shoes for the wedding. They are a size bigger than the last ones.”

“And mine,” Thomas said, trotting beside them as they entered the house.

“Then I am very glad I am having a wedding,” Hannah said. “We all need a good reason to have new shoes from time to time.”

Her heart constricted.

It was not until later that she had a chance to talk privately with her father. He was walking alone on the lawn beside the house after tea, when Hannah expected that he would be resting in his room as almost everyone else was.

She hesitated before going out to join him. But she had come this far toward reconciliation. Why stop now?

He looked up as she came to meet him and stopped walking. He clasped his hands behind his back.

“You are looking well, Hannah,” he said.

“I am feeling wonderful,” she said.

“And so you are to marry another aristocrat,” he said. “But a younger man this time. Is this one someone who is likely to bring you at least some happiness?”

Had he misunderstood all these years?

“I love him,” she said, “and he loves me. I expect a great deal of happiness from my marriage to Constantine. You will meet him later. He is coming for dinner. But, Papa, I knew a great deal of happiness in my first marriage. The duke was kind to me-more than kind. And I adored him in return.”

“He was old,” her father said. “He might have been my father. I have never forgiven myself for the part I played in causing you to act so impulsively as to marry him, Hannah. And I did nothing to stop you. I suppose at the time it seemed an easy answer to a nasty problem. Both my daughters loved the same man, and I wanted both to be happy. I thought you would more easily recover and find happiness with someone else since all the young men had an eye for you, and so I sided with Dawn. That was shortsighted of me, was it not? You married an old man you did not even know and went away and never came back and never wrote, and-Well. And I never had the courage to write either, did I?”

“Marrying the duke was the best thing I ever did,” she said. “And if I judged correctly at tea, marrying Colin was the best thing Dawn ever did.”

“They seem happy enough,” he said. “And my grandchildren are the light of my life. Perhaps-”

He stopped.

“Yes, perhaps,” she agreed. “I am only thirty, Papa. And a child is all I need to complete my happiness.”

“Thank you,” he said awkwardly, “for inviting us to your wedding, Hannah.”

“Constantine has no brothers or sisters,” she said, “but he has cousins on both sides of his family. And they are all very close. More than that, they are affectionate and welcoming. They have opened their hearts and their lives to include me. You could see that at tea, could you not, with Elliott and Vanessa, the Duke and Duchess of Moreland, and his mother and sisters? They have made me understand the importance of family. And Constantine persuaded me to reach out to my own again at last. I did not know if you would come. I believe I expected that you would not.”

He sighed deeply and audibly.

“I wept when your letter came,” he said. “There. I did not expect ever to admit that to a living soul. I felt-forgiven.”

She stepped forward and set her forehead on his shoulder. His hands came to her waist and held her.

***

HER CHANCE WITH DAWN did not come until the following morning-her wedding day. She was in her dressing room, holding her head still while Adele curled a stubborn tendril of hair over her right temple more to her satisfaction.

She was wearing pale pink, a color she would not have expected to choose for her wedding. But when she had been shopping for fabrics, she had fallen in love with this shade. She had a new straw bonnet to wear with it, trimmed with pink rosebuds and greenery and pink silk ribbons a shade darker than the dress.

The sky, she could see through the window, was a clear blue. There was not a cloud in sight.

And then everyone, on their way to church, came to see her first. Vanessa and Averil and Jessica, Elliott’s sisters, exclaimed over her and smiled at her and declared they would not hug her and risk crushing either her dress or her hair. All agreed that Cecily, Elliott’s youngest sister, who was in imminent expectation of a happy event, would be very vexed indeed to be missing all this excitement. Mrs. Leavensworth clasped her hands to her bosom and declared that she had not been happier in her life-though she supposed she would be happier yet in three weeks’ time when it was Barbara’s turn.

Barbara did not care whether she crushed anything or not. She hugged Hannah tightly and wordlessly for a whole minute. Then she stood back and looked her over.

“This is what I have hoped and hoped would happen, Hannah,” she said. “I have even prayed about it. Laugh if you will. You have far too much love to give to squander it on mere flirtation. And Mr. Huxtable, or, rather, the Earl of Ainsley, is the right man. I thought so when we were at Copeland. I was almost sure when he scooped you up onto his horse in the park. And when I saw the two of you together at dinner last evening, well, there was no doubt left in my mind. And now that I have delivered that little sermon, I had better get off to church with Mama and Papa before the bride races us there.” She laughed.

“Babs.” Hannah hugged her again. “How would I have done without you all these years?”

“No better than I would have done without you, I suppose,” Barbara said. “Oh, there you are, Dawn. Mama and I are on our way out and will leave you with more room.”

And they were gone and only Dawn remained, standing uncertainly just inside the door.

“I am ready, Adele,” Hannah said. “I can put on my own bonnet before I leave.”

Her maid slipped from the room.

“I don’t know how you do it, Hannah,” Dawn said, sounding almost aggrieved, “but you are more beautiful now than you were eleven years ago.”

“I am in love,” Hannah said, smiling, “and this is my wedding day. It is easy to be beautiful under such circumstances.”

“It is not just that,” Dawn said. “I used to think it was just your looks. But it was always what was inside you too. And now there is even more of that. The Earl of Ainsley is very handsome, is he not, though it is a pity about his nose. I should call him Constantine, I suppose, as he invited me to do last evening, but it seems presumptuous. You have done well for yourself, though it must have seemed that the old duke was going to live forever. That must have been a severe trial to you.”

“I suppose the whole world believes that,” Hannah said. “It is not the truth, but it does not matter if no one knows that but me-and Constantine. And now I am about to marry a man I love with all my heart. If you ever look back and feel a twinge of guilt, Dawn, let it go. All things happen for a purpose-sometimes a larger purpose than we can possibly see at the time. What happened led me to the duke and ten years of surprising happiness. And marrying the duke led me by slow degrees to today.”

“I don’t feel guilt,” Dawn said. “You could have had anyone if you had set your mind to it. You chose Colin, and he was dazzled for a while as all men are when they see you. But he really loved me, and I loved him. We have a good marriage, and we have good, healthy children-which is more than you have. I do not feel guilt.”

Hannah smiled.

“I am glad you are happy,” she said, taking a step closer to her sister. “And your children really are a delight, Dawn. I look forward to getting better acquainted with them as time goes on. I’ll be in Markle for Barbara’s wedding. We will be staying with Papa.”

“Barbara will be grand,” Dawn said, “having an earl and countess on her guest list. No one will talk of anything else for a month or more.”

Hannah took another step forward and hugged her sister. It was a reconciliation of sorts, she thought as Dawn’s arms came about her. They would probably never be as close as sisters ought to be. Perhaps Dawn would always resent her even though she had got Colin, of whom she seemed genuinely fond. And she had their five children, who really were good-natured and prettily behaved.

But at least now they had been restored to each other. At least now they could begin to build a new relationship with each other. There was the whole of the future ahead of them. There was always hope.

“I had better go,” Dawn said. “Colin and the children will be waiting for me.”

Hannah watched her go before closing the dressing room door. There was one more thing she needed to do before putting on her bonnet and going downstairs to join her father.

She reached down one side of her portmanteau and drew out a small square box. She opened it and set it on the dressing table while she looked down at her wedding ring and then slid it slowly off her finger. She held it for a moment and raised it to her lips.

“Good-bye, my dearest duke,” she whispered. “You would be happy for me today, would you not? You predicted it would happen. And you would be a little sad too, perhaps? I am happy. And a little sad. But you are with your love, and I will be with mine. And always a little part of us will belong to each other.”

She set the ring down carefully inside the box, hesitated a moment, and then closed the lid resolutely and set the box back in the portmanteau.

She reached for her bonnet.

And suddenly there was such a welling of excitement within her that her fingers all felt like thumbs as she tied the ribbons into a bow beneath her right ear.

***

THE CHAPEL WAS CROWDED to capacity, as Constantine had known it would be even though there were very few guests apart from family. There was the slight buzz of hushed conversation behind him and the fidgetings and louder, higher-pitched voices of all the children.

So many of them. The family was growing. And it had not stopped yet. Katherine and Monty were in the process of doubling the size of their family. Cecily was expecting to give birth any day now.

And it was not just family. Phillip Grainger’s wife was large with child and had two others in the pew beside her. Phillip, one of Constantine’s oldest friends, was his best man.

It all felt very comforting, somehow. Family. And this morning he was to become a married man himself. A family man. Oh, he hoped he was to be a family man.

But he was not even married yet.

Would Hannah be late? It would be strange if she were not.

There were five interminable minutes to wait even before she was late. What had he said about cultivating patience?

He wished he had eaten some breakfast.

He was thankful he had not.

And he was, dash it all, getting nervous.

What if she was having second thoughts?

What if an old duke had popped up out of a deep chair somewhere in Finchley and eloped with her?

And then there was the sound of carriage wheels-after all of the guests had surely arrived. It was only three minutes to eleven.

The carriage stopped. Of course. There was nowhere else to go along this trail except the chapel.

There was a greater hush within. Everyone had heard what he had heard.

And then the vicar appeared in the doorway and instructed the congregation to stand. And he walked down the aisle toward the altar and left the doorway clear for Delmont, Hannah’s father, and for Hannah herself.

A vision of all that was beautiful in soft pink.

His bride.

Oh, Lord. His bride.

He took half a step toward her and stopped. He was supposed to stay where he was. She was supposed to come to him.

And she did so until she stood beside him, her arm still drawn through her father’s though she was smiling at him through the froth of a pink veil that was draped over the brim of her straw bonnet.

He smiled back at her.

And why they had spent so much time discussing where they would marry and how many people they wanted as their guests he really did not know. It did not matter where they were. And for the moment it did not matter who was there to witness them exchanging vows that would bind them in law and in love for the rest of their days.

It did not matter.

“I do,” he said when the vicar had asked him what he was prepared to do in order to make Hannah his wife forever.

“I do,” she said in return.

And then he was reciting vows, prompted by the vicar, and she was reciting them in her turn. And Phillip was handing him the shiny gold band of her wedding ring and he was slipping it onto her bare ring finger. And suddenly-

Ah, suddenly it was all over, the anticipation and the excitement, the baseless fears.

They were man and wife.

And what God had joined together, no power on earth could put asunder.

“Hannah.” He lifted the veil back from her face and gazed into her eyes.

They gazed back into his own, wide and guileless and trusting.

His wife.

And suddenly he was aware of shufflings and murmurings, a child’s piping voice, a single cough. And he was aware again of where they were and who was here with them. And he was glad that family and friends were here to celebrate with them.