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The Two Deaths of Daniel Hayes
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Текст книги "The Two Deaths of Daniel Hayes"


Автор книги: Marcus Sakey


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THE TWO DEATHS OF DANIEL HAYES

A LSO BY M ARCUS S AKEY

The Blade Itself At the City’s Edge Good People The Amateurs

MARCUS

SAKEY

THE TWO DEATHS OF

DANIEL HAYES

A NOVEL

DUTTON

DUTTON

Published by Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, U.S.A.

Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.); Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England; Penguin Ireland, 25 St Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd); Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd); Penguin Books India Pvt Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi—110 017, India; Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, North Shore 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd); Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa

Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

Published by Dutton, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

First printing, June 2011 1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

Copyright © 2011 by Marcus Sakey All rights reserved

REGISTERED TRADEMARK—MARCA REGISTRADA

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA has been applied for.

ISBN 978-0-525-952114

Printed in the United States of America Set in Sabon

Designed by Leonard Telesca

PUBLISHER’S NOTE

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead,

business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written

permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials.

Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.

For Scott Miller and Ben Sevier, who’ve had my back from the beginning

ACT ONE

“There is no future without an identity to claim it, or to be obligated to it. There are no caging norms. In its very precariousness the state is pure and free.”

–Nadine Gordimer, The Pickup

H

e was naked and cold, stiff with it, his veins ice and frost. Muscles carved hard, skin rippled with goose bumps, tendons drawn tight, body scraped and shivering. Something rolled over his legs, velvet soft and shocking. He gasped and pulled seawater into his lungs, the salt scouring his throat. Gagging, he pushed forward, scrabbling at dark stones. The ocean tugged, but he fought the last ragged feet crawling like a child.

As the wave receded it drew pebbles rattling across one another like bones, like dice, like static. A seagull shrieked its loneliness.

His lungs burned, and he leaned on his elbows and retched, liquid pouring in ropes from his open mouth, salt water and stomach acid. A lot, and then less, and finally he could spit the last drops, suck in quick shallow lungfuls of air that smelled of rotting fish.

In. Cough it out. There. There.

His hands weren’t his. Paler than milk and trembling with a panicky violence. He couldn’t make them stop. He’d never been so cold.

What was he doing here?

Like waking from sleepwalking, he couldn’t remember. It didn’t matter. The cold was filling him, killing him, and if he wanted to live he had to move.

He rolled onto his side. An apocalyptic beach, water frothing beneath a shivering sky, wind a steady howl over the shoals, whipping the saw grass to strain its roots. Not another person as far as he could see.

Had to move. His muscles screamed. He staggered upright and tried a tentative step. His thoughts were signals banged down frozen wires; after an eon his legs responded. His feet were bloody.

One step. Another. The wind a lash against his dripping skin. The beach sloped hard upward. Each step brought muscles a little more under his control. The motion warming them, oh god, warming them to razors and nails and blood gone acid. He concentrated on breathing, each inhale a marker. Make it to the next one. Five more. Don’t quit until twenty. Goddamn you, breathe.

The boulders the ocean had broken to pebbles gave way to those it hadn’t yet, broad stones with moss marking the leeward side, spaced with pools of dark water where spiny things waited. He stumbled from one rock to the next until he reached the top.

As lonely and blasted a stretch of earth as any he’d seen. Black rocks and foaming sea and sky marked only by the passage of birds. No. Wait.

He blinked, tried to focus. Two thin dirt tracks led to a splotch of color, a boxy shape. A car. Legs cramping. Breath shallow. He couldn’t force his lungs to take. To draw enough. Air. The shivering easing. Bad sign. His feet tangled and he fell. Inches from his eyes, pale grass spotted and marked by the appetite of insects. The ground wasn’t so bad. Almost soft. Easy now. Easy to go.

No.

Crawl. Elbows scraping. Knees. Forearms going blue. Blueberries, blue water, blue eyes.

He reached the trunk, pulled himself up, the metal burning cold. Slouched his way to the door and bent stiff fingers around the handle.

Please.

The door opened. He maneuvered around it and fell into the smell of leather. His legs wouldn’t move. It took both arms to pull them in, one at a time. Gripping the burnished handle, he yanked the door shut. The wind’s laughter died.

Instead of a key there was a push-button start. He slapped at it, missed, slapped again. The engine roared to life.

The man turned the heat all the way up and collapsed against the seat.

5

A soft time. Warm air making his body ache and tingle and finally ease. For a while the man stared at the ceiling, head lolled back. Content to watch the drifting spots in his eyes. Tiny floating things that he could only see when he didn’t try to look at them. He didn’t think about where he was, or why, or who the car belonged to and when they might return, or whether they would be happy to find a naked man dripping on the leather seats.

Just cowered like an animal in his den, the doors locked and heat blasting.

After a long time—how long he had no idea—he felt himself coming back. Surfacing like he was waking from a nap. Words and questions swirling leaves from an October tree, tossed and spinning and never touching the ground.

Gasoline. That was one. Gasoline. What did . . .

Oh. He straightened, rubbed at his eyes. His muscles weak and languid. The fuel gauge read almost empty. He shut off the engine.

So. Where was he?

The car was gorgeous. A BMW according to the logo in the steering wheel, with gauges like an airplane cockpit. The seats were leather, the trim brushed aluminum, and the dash had a computer display. But the thing was a mess. Socks and a pair of Nikes rested on the floorboards on his side; the passenger seat was buried in maps and take-out bags and soda cups and empty blister packs of ephedrine and gas station receipts and a worn U.S. road atlas and a fifth of Jack Daniel’s with an inch left in it.

Hello.

He opened the whiskey, swallowed half the remainder in a gulp. It burned in the best possible way.

Now that it wasn’t killing him, the world outside had a kind of desolate beauty. Lonely, though. Other than the narrow two-track the car was parked on, there was no sign of people in either direction. And while he hadn’t been fully conscious the whole time, he hadn’t seen anyone since he’d climbed into the car.

So then . . .

How had he gotten here?

Where the fuck was here and what was he doing in it?

Calm. Don’t panic. You’re safe. Just think about what happened. How you ended up here. You . . . you . . .

Nothing.

He closed his eyes, jammed them tight. Opened them again.

Nothing had changed. Had he been drinking? Drugged? Retrace your steps. You were . . .

You were . . .

It was like that terrible moment he sometimes had waking up in a strange environment, in the dark of a friend’s living room, or in a hotel, that period where his brain hadn’t yet come online and everything was automatic, just panic and readiness and fear, the tension of waiting for certainty to click, for normalcy to fall like a warm blanket. That moment always passed. It passed, and he remembered where he was and what he was doing there.

Right?

He set the whiskey down, gripped the steering wheel with both hands. Focus.

Focus!

Outside, the wind whistled. The trees looked like they’d been on fire, dark black trunks spreading to broad limbs marked by a handful of stubborn orange and yellow leaves, the last embers.

Okay. Something must have happened. An after-effect of hypothermia, some kind of shock. Don’t force it. Tease it. Coax it out. Like the floaters in your eyes, you can’t drag this front and center. Come at it sideways.

Your brain seems to work. Use it. Where are you?

A rocky beach. Cold. He could taste the salt on his lips, knew this was an ocean. Which one?

The question was crazy, but he worked it anyway. Let one thing lead to the next. The dashboard clock read 7:42. The sun was just a brighter shade of gray above the waves, but it was higher than before. Which made it morning, which made that east, which made this the Atlantic. Assuming he was still in the United States. Yes. The road atlas.

Okay. The Atlantic. And cold and rocky and sparsely inhabited. Maine, maybe?

Why not. Roll with that. “This is Maine.” His voice cracked. He coughed, then continued. “I’m in a BMW. It’s morning.”

Nothing.

A bank envelope was curled in the cup holder. Inside was a stack of twenties, several hundred dollars. Under the envelope there was something silver that turned out to be a stainless steel Rolex Daytona. Nice watch. Very nice watch.

What else? He leaned over to open the glove box. There was an owner’s manual, a key ring with a BMW clicker, three pens, a pack of Altoids, a sealed box of ephedrine, and a large black gun.

He stared. An owner’s manual, a key ring with a BMW clicker, three pens, a pack of Altoids, a sealed box of ephedrine, and a large black gun. A semiautomatic, he noticed, then wondered how he could know that and not remember where he had been before he woke up on the beach. Or worse, even his own—

Stop. Don’t go there. If you don’t face it, maybe it’s not true.

The trunk.

He stepped out. The wind whipped his naked body, and his skin tightened into goose bumps. His balls tried to retract into his belly. He stepped gingerly to the back of the car on bloody toes.

Would there be a body in there? Handcuffed and shot in the head, maybe, or rolled in a carpet, hair and boots spilling out.

No: it held only jumper cables and a plastic shopping bag with a red bull’s-eye on it. He opened the bag. A pair of designer jeans, a white undershirt with pits stained yellow, crumpled boxer briefs, wadded-up socks. Someone’s laundry.

He looked around again. In for a penny.

He shook out the underwear, stepped into it. The jeans were soft and worn, expensive looking. Too fancy for Target, and dirty to boot. Maybe the Target purchases had been a change of clothes. He wriggled into the shirt then slammed the trunk. Climbed back in the car, the air inside wonderful, stiflingly warm. The sour smell of feet rose as he wriggled into the sneakers.

Then he sat and stared out the window.

How had he known that red bull’s-eye was the Target logo? How had he known the watch was a Rolex? Or that Jack Daniel’s was whiskey, and that he liked whiskey?

How was it that he knew the BMW key fob had an RFID chip that activated the push button start, knew Maine was in the northeast, could identify the symptoms of hypothermia, could glance at a stack of twenties and know it was several hundred dollars– he could do all of that, but he couldn’t remember his own goddamn—

He reached for the owner’s manual in the glove box, careful not to touch the gun. The book was bound in black leather. Inside the front cover was a registration card and proof of insurance. Both in the name of Daniel Hayes, resident of 6723 Wandermere Road, Malibu, California.

Huh.

He climbed out of the car, walked to the back. California plates.

Who wandered away from a ninety-thousand-dollar car and left the key in the glove box? Where would they go in the middle of nowhere?

And the clothes. The shoes fit. The jeans felt familiar.

Calling yourself Daniel Hayes is a start. Try it on, just like the jeans.

Daniel got back in the car, put on his watch, then cranked the ignition and pulled away.

5

The two-track led to a dirt road. The dirt road led to a paved one only slightly less bumpy. Eventually that intersected two lanes of faded blacktop with a sign marking it US-1, north to Machias, south to Ellsworth.

He pulled to the shoulder and sat watching. A weather-beaten pickup passed heading south. A minute later came a northbound Civic.

“Life goes on,” he said, and laughed a little hysterically. Had he always talked to himself?

Maybe. Maybe you chew bottle caps. Sodomize midgets. Kill people for a secret government—

He pulled onto the highway heading south.

The sky was clearing, the gray patchwork not lifting so much as coalescing into separate regions of dense cloud broken by vivid blue. The BMW reduced the outside world to a soft hum. His eyes felt grainy, his hands and head heavy. But he was pleased to note that the license plates read “MAINE” at the top.

So he hadn’t lost his mind. Maybe just misplaced it a little.

Assuming that his first conscious act hadn’t been to steal a car, and that the insurance was up-to-date, that meant that he’d driven three thousand miles. Three thousand miles followed by a swim in an ocean cold enough to stop his heart. Why?

Daniel rubbed at his eyes. His hands were raw. He could barely keep his eyes open. He needed to find a motel, sleep for a week. When he woke up, this would all be better. He’d remember who—

Don’t admit that. Madness lies that way.

—what he was doing here. It would come clear.

He passed a blink of a town, white clapboard and a sagging church. A girl pedaled a bicycle with streamers flowing from the handlebars. Sidewalks and a town hall and a VFW with a Friday fish fry. A mile the other side, a roadside marquee announced vacancies at something called the Pines Motel, a low-slung cinder-block building huddled along the highway. Fine. Good. Perfect.

The lot was gravel that popped under the tires. He stepped out into birdsong and chilly sunlight, tramped past a handful of dusty pickup trucks sporting rifle racks and hand-painted camouflage.

The lobby was just an alcove off the main hall with a desk tucked into it. No one there. Hanging on the wall was a surprisingly skilled painting of a deer bounding over a fallen tree. The artist had caught the animal’s panic, the brushstrokes menacing, the woods turned into the darkest sort of fairy tale. He could sense the hunter beyond the border of the painting, the threat closer and more dangerous than the animal could know.

“Help you?”

Daniel whirled. A woman held a bead curtain half-parted. He couldn’t tell if she was a rugged thirty or an attractive fifty. “Yeah, sorry. Just admiring the painting.”

“My husband. Don’t know why he bothers, myself. No use to the things. Keep trying to get him to paint over the old ones, but he likes to save them.”

“He should,” Daniel said. “He’s got a lot of talent.”

“A lot of time is what he’s got. Don’t know about talent.”

And what a lucky man he is to have you for a wife. “I, ah, I need a room.”

“Single or double?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Single’s cheaper.”

“Single, then. A single will be fine.”

The woman sat behind the computer, began punching keys. “Forty dollars. How long?”

“I’m—I’m not sure. What day is today?”

She gave him a look that read city folk, but said, “Wednesday.”

“Okay. Just tonight for now.” Wednesday. Nope. Nothing. He set the bank envelope on the counter, made sure she got a look at it. “You said forty?”

She nodded, and he pulled out two twenties.

“Name?”

“Daniel Hayes.”

“Credit card?”

“Huh?”

“For a deposit.”

“I lost my wallet. How about I just give you an extra forty as a deposit?”

Her eyes narrowed, but she took the money. “Checkout is noon. No smoking. You’re in seven.”

“The room has cable, right?” he asked anxiously, and then did a double take. Huh? The words had come out of his mouth unbidden. What did he care about– She was staring at him, so he said, “You know, television?”

“Television. The magic picture box?”

“Right. Sorry.” He rubbed at his eyes. “I’m a little hazy.”

She handed him a key on a heavy brass fob, pointed down the hall. “That way. Ice and vending at the end.”

Room seven turned out to be a ten-by-twenty rectangle with a twin bed. The furniture was particleboard, and the remote control was tethered to the nightstand. The windows were draped in yellowed lace, giving the room a funereal feeling. It smelled of chemical air freshener.

Home sweet home.

Daniel dropped the envelope on the dresser, went to the bathroom. He hesitated outside the door, his hand on the light switch.

Probably the moment he did it, everything would come clear. The shock would part like fog. He’d remember everything. Have a laugh, then fall asleep with a light heart.

So why are you hesitating?

It wasn’t hard to figure out. What happened if you looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize yourself?

Do it.

Daniel flipped the switch. Fluorescent light flickered on, revealing linoleum floors and Formica counters.

No fog parted. No veil lifted. The man in the mirror offered no answers.

He looked exhausted, bruised and worn and dark-circled, but more or less familiar. For a vertiginous moment, Daniel lost track of which was him and which was the reflection, like one was a doppelganger that could break free and act independently, as he seemed to have snapped free from his life.

“I don’t feel crazy,” he said, and the man in the mirror agreed. “I just don’t . . . I don’t—”

A sour taste rose in his throat. He slapped at the light. Stepped out of the bathroom, pulling the dirty undershirt over his head as he went.

Sleep. He would sleep for a long time, and when he woke up, he would remember. He would. He had to.

Dear god.

Please.

5

His dreams were sweaty things full of looming shapes and pointing fingers and the sense of imminent disaster. The context changed from dream to dream—he leaned over the edge of a tall building, he fumbled with the seat belt of a car spinning out of control, he stepped into shadows beneath a bridge where something terrible waited—but the essence was the same. In each of them he was filthy and lost and helpless to prevent tragedy.

The blast of an air horn and the roar of tires woke him, an eighteen-wheeler barreling by. He jerked upright, sure that he had fallen asleep at the wheel again. The sheets were tangled and wet, and the pillow bore a sodden outline of his head.

“Fuck me.”

The alarm clock read 4:17 P.M. He’d slept about five hours. Daniel pushed the curtain aside and looked out at the dreary motel sign and the gas station across the street and the flaming sky beyond. Four o’clock and the sun was setting. These people got screwed.

Weird. You know you don’t belong here, and it’s not a matter of license plates and insurance cards. You just know it’s not home.

Daniel extricated himself from the blankets and padded to the bathroom. Left the light off as he ran cold water and splashed double handfuls on his face and neck.

It was time to acknowledge the facts. Somehow he had forgotten who he was.

So what do you know?

He’d woken on a beach, half-dead, naked. Could he have been drugged or knocked unconscious, taken there against his will? But if someone had done that, why leave the car for him to find?

More likely, he had gone there himself. Judging by the contents of the car, the whiskey and the ephedrine and the profusion of crap, he’d been driving for a while, maybe all the way from California. From sunny Malibu to that dark ocean, that hidden bluff, where he . . .

He . . .

Jesus.

He tried to kill himself.

How else to explain it? No wallet in the car, no clothes on the beach, no cell phone. He must have gone into the ocean. He could picture it, the cold light of dawn barely breaking the horizon. Habit might have made him kick off his shoes, take off his watch, then realize how unnecessary the actions were. Walking into the water, wincing at the shock, the bone-snapping cold of the waves. Walking until he could dive, and then swimming, stripping off his remaining clothing as he went. Past the breakers. His mind in turmoil, desperate to die, fighting to live. Diving deep into the womb-darkness, and opening his mouth to invite it inside—

Flair for the dramatic, Daniel?

He didn’t know anything like that, not really. Maybe he’d just wanted to take a dip. Hell, maybe he wasn’t Daniel Hayes. He couldn’t know any of it for sure.

First things first. A shower. And food. He was starving. If he wanted to be more than an animal, if he wanted to believe that he was still a man even if he wasn’t a whole one, then may as well start with the simple stuff.

In the bathroom he spun the tap to hot, stripped off the boxer briefs and tossed them on the toilet tank, then, while the water warmed, looked at his body in the mirror. His skin was on the pasty end of the spectrum, and though his arms had some definition, his belly had that early-thirties softness. Scratches crisscrossed his shoulders and back. I’ve got a feeling I’ve looked better. He stepped into the shower and let it wash over him.

Afterward, a towel around his waist, he explored his room. There was another canvas on the wall, this one a gray outcropping of rock lashed by black-blue waves. Spray flew high, spatters of white against storm clouds. The scene was intensely lonely, all that fury and foam without a hint of humanity to soften it. The only bright spot was in the sky, a tear in the clouds, small and far away.

Yeah, well, if you were married to that woman, hope would look small and far away to you too.

Daniel picked up the remote control from the nightstand, turned on the TV. Five-forty-eight, not time yet. He flipped until he found CNN, Wolf Blitzer myopically paternal. The Palestinians and the Israelis were still going at it, Darfur was still hell, Russia was still backsliding. Daniel hit mute.

His stomach twisted. God, he was ravenous. Have to do something about that soon. First, though, let’s see if you can get some help.

The telephone was black and battered. He lifted the receiver, punched 411, and was rewarded by a mechanical tone followed by a mechanical voice. “Welcome to Directory Assistance. For English, please press one. Para Español—

He hit one.

“Please say the city and state.”

“Los Angeles, California.”

“Say the name of the person or business you are—” “Daniel Hayes.”

“One moment please.”

He waited, twisting the cord between his fingers. After a moment, the silence gave way to the muted buzz of a call center and an operator’s bored voice. “Thank you for calling AT&T Directory Assistance calls may be recorded for quality assurance please spell the name you’re looking for.”

“Hayes, H-A-Y-E-S, first name Daniel.”

“Thank you.” The clacking of keys. “I’m sorry sir, that number is unlisted.”

“Listen, it’s an emergency. I absolutely have to talk to, to Daniel.”

“I’m sorry sir, I can’t give out unlisted phone numbers.”

“Could you connect me directly?”

“I’m sorry sir, I can’t do that.”

“Come on,” he said, trying to keep the frustration from his voice, “what’s the worst that could happen if you connect me? I still won’t know the number.”

“I’m sorry sir, I—”

“Can’t do fuck all. Yeah.” He hung up the phone hard enough to jar the bell. Five fifty-eight, almost time. He punched channels until he came to FX, the wrap-up of some cop show. Calling had been a long shot, but he’d been hoping that someone might answer the phone, someone who would recognize his voice. A roommate, a lover, a brother, a wife, someone he could trust to guide him—

Wait a second.

Almost time? For what?

His shoulders tingled like they’d been brushed with feathers. When he checked into the motel, he’d confirmed the room had cable. And earlier, shit, he hadn’t even noticed, but as he’d turned on the TV he’d thought that it wasn’t time yet.

Daniel sat up straight against the cheap headboard. Unmuted the television. Commercials: bad credit, no credit, you could get a loan; a Swiffer made it all worthwhile for a grinning housewife; a Mustang drove at unlikely speeds across abandoned roads.

And then it started.

INT. MAMI’S KITCHEN—DAY

A stylish West Hollywood café at lunchtime. BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE munch organic greens and sip Chablis, attended by WAITRESSES in chic black outfits. At a table by the window EMILY SWEET toys with her silverware. She’s a knockout in a tight T-shirt and designer jeans.

An appetizer is half-eaten in front of her. She glances at her watch and sighs, then reaches for her purse.

EMILY

I’ll grab the check when you have a second.

WAITRESS

Let me guess. He didn’t show? EMILY

(a tight smile)

L.A. men.

WAITRESS

Don’t I know. Too much hair gel, not enough heart.

A handsome man with a jaw that would make Superman jealous pushes through the crowd. JAKE MODINE looks relieved to see Emily still there. The waitress gives Emily a surreptitious thumbs-up.

JAKE Em, honey, I’m so sorry– EMILY It’s fine.

(standing)

Try the ceviche.

JAKE Wait—

EMILY

I’m tired of waiting for you, Jake. JAKE

The reason I was late—

EMILY

All this time I’ve been believing your lies, hoping that someday you’d find the guts to take what you want. And what did that get me?

(she shoulders her purse)

Warm ceviche.

JAKE

I was late because I was talking with Tara. Yelling, actually.

(a hand on her shoulder)

It’s over, Em.

(a beat)

I’m leaving your sister. Emily stares. She can’t decide whether to storm away or jump into his arms.

A sexy pop song kicked in, synced to a quick-cut montage: a couple in bed, then a close-up of the man’s fingers tracing the woman’s back. Night traffic on a highway, headlights blurred and grainy. The flashing thighs of a girl in a nightclub. People around a bonfire, the lights of the Santa Monica Pier behind. A sun-blurred mural of Jim Morrison on the side of a building. Manicured nails holding the stem of a martini glass. Finally, three women—blonde, brunette, and redhead—laughing so hard that the redhead collapsed on the sidewalk. As the song wound up, the title Candy Girls glittered across the screen.

Daniel stared. It wasn’t the show, which revealed itself to be a sort of lurid cross between Felicity and Melrose Place, a melodrama about three sisters seeking their fortune in Hollywood, the kind of program that purported to be about learning and loving but was really about fighting and fucking. The writing was solid and the production slick, but that wasn’t what caught him. Nor was it the fantasy of eternal youth on the left coast or the stylish editing or catchy soundtrack.

It was Emily.

The middle sister, brunette with a cream complexion and bright eyes, the kind of girl who appeared in ads for skin cream, the kind you could imagine what she smelled like just from watching her smile.

The episode followed her tempestuous relationship with Jake, a producer who had been dating Emily’s older sister while pining for Emily. Tara, the blond one, was predictably unhappy about being dumped, and by the end of the episode she had managed not only to split Emily and Jake up, but also to steal a role from Emily by seducing the director. The part was a guest appearance on a show Jake produced, leaving Emily sure that he’d been toying with her all along.

In the last minutes, she walked away from Jake. When she reached the safety of her powder-blue VW bug, Emily closed the door and gripped the steering wheel. There were no wild histrionics, just a nicely underplayed swipe at her eyes with the back of her hand, and then she started the car and pulled away, her taillights blending with those of a hundred other aspiring starlets. The credits sprinted past as an announcer teased the upcoming program, something about plastic surgeons. Daniel turned off the TV.

What the hell was that? What did it mean?

Who was Emily Sweet?

She’s a make-believe character, idiot. What it means is that you’re petrified, and right now you’ll cling to anything that distracts you from the facts of your life.

Daniel stood, went to the bathroom. Hung the towel on the rack and stepped into his clothing. He needed to eat anyway. No harm making another stop.

5

He found the drugstore a bit down US-1. The fluorescent lighting was harsh after the deep dark of a Maine evening, but the middleaged woman behind the counter smiled as she sold him the magazine.

“Anywhere to grab a bite around here?”

“Kingfisher’s does a decent burger.”

“Perfect.” He got directions and hopped back in the car. Kingfisher’s turned out to be a diner in a converted house five miles away. Conversation didn’t quite stop when he walked in, but he could feel the eyes on him. He spotted an empty booth by the window, slid onto the Naugahyde, pulled a menu from behind the ketchup. Glenn Frey sang from cheap speakers, advising Daniel to take it easy, not to let the sound of his own wheels drive him crazy.

“What’ll you have?”

“Let me get a giant Coke and two double burgers, please.” “How do you want ’em?”

“Ummm . . .” Good question. “One rare, one well done.” “Shine a flashlight on one, scorch the other. Got it.” She jotted

on the tab. “Anything else?”

“Just a question. Where am I, exactly?”

She gave him a bemused expression. “Outside Cherryfield.” The atlas was taped and torn and out of date, but he didn’t imagine Maine had changed that much. It took him a couple of minutes to find Cherryfield; it was written in the tiniest font on the map. He wasn’t just in Maine, he was practically in Canada. No wonder the beach had been abandoned.


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