Текст книги "Алиса в Стране чудес / Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland"

Автор книги: Льюис Кэрролл

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'I do,' Alice hastily replied; 'at least-at least I mean what I say-that's the same thing, you know.'

'Not the same thing at all!' said the Hatter. 'You can say “I see what I eat” is the same thing as “I eat what I see”!'

'You can say,' added the March Hare, 'that “I like what I get” is the same thing as “I get what I like”!'

'You can say,' added the Dormouse in its sleep, 'that “I breathe when I sleep” is the same thing as “I sleep when I breathe”!'

'It is the same thing to you,' said the Hatter, and here the conversation dropped, and they sat silent for a minute.

'What day of the month is it?' the Hatter asked. He took his watch out of his pocket. He was looking at it, shaking it and holding it to his ear.

Alice considered a little, and then said 'The fourth.'

'Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter. 'Listen to me: you must not use the butter!' he looked angrily at the March Hare.

'It was the best butter,' the March Hare meekly replied.

'Yes, but there were some crumbs,' the Hatter grumbled: 'you used the bread-knife.'

The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again.

'It was the best butter, you know,' he said again.

Alice looked over his shoulder with some curiosity.

'What a funny watch!' she remarked. 'It tells the day of the month, and doesn't tell the time!'

'Why?' muttered the Hatter. 'Does your watch tell you what year it is?'

'Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: 'but that's because my year is very long.'

'But my year is also long,' said the Hatter.

'I don't quite understand you,' Alice said.

'The Dormouse is sleeping again,' said the Hatter, and he poured a little hot tea upon its nose.

The Dormouse shook its head, and said, 'Of course, of course; it's just what I was going to say.'

'What about the riddle?' asked the Hatter.

'I can't guess,' Alice replied: 'what's the answer?'

'No idea,' said the Hatter.

'Nor I,' said the March Hare.

'What's the time?' asked Alice.

'It's always six o'clock now,' the Hatter answered. 'It's always tea-time, and we have no time to wash the dishes.'

'Then you move round, I suppose?' said Alice.

'Exactly so,' said the Hatter.

'But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Alice asked.

'Let's change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted. 'The young lady will tell us a story, right?'

'I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice.

'Then the Dormouse will tell us something,' cried the Hatter and the March Hare. 'Wake up, Dormouse!'

And they pinched it on both sides at once.

The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes.

'I wasn't asleep,' it said in a hoarse, feeble voice: 'I heard every word.'

'Tell us a story!' said the March Hare.

'Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice.

'And be quick,' added the Hatter.

'Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the Dormouse began in a great hurry; 'and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well…'

'What did they eat or drink?' asked Alice.

'They drank treacle,' said the Dormouse.

'They couldn't do that, you know,' Alice gently remarked; 'Were they ill?'

'Yes, they were,' said the Dormouse; 'very ill.'

Alice went on: 'But why did they live at the bottom of a well?'

'Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice.

'I did not drink anything,' Alice replied, 'so I can't take more.'

'You mean you can't take LESS,' said the Hatter: 'it's very easy to take MORE than nothing.'

'Nobody asked your opinion,' said Alice.

Alice took some tea and a bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and repeated her question. 'Why did they live at the bottom of a well?'

The Dormouse said, 'It was a treacle-well.'

'It's impossible!' Alice was very angry, but the Hatter and the March Hare went 'Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse sulkily remarked, 'If you can't be civil, finish the story for yourself.'

'No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; 'I won't interrupt again.'

'And so these three little sisters-they were learning to draw^[8], you know,' said the Dormouse.

'What did they draw?' said Alice. She forgot her promise.

'Treacle,' said the Dormouse.

'I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter: 'let's all move.'

He moved on, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Hare moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice took the place of the March Hare.

Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very cautiously:

'But I don't understand. Where did they draw the treacle from?'

'You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; 'so I think you can draw treacle out of a treacle-well, eh, stupid?'

'But they were IN the well,' Alice said to the Dormouse.

'Of course they were', said the Dormouse; 'they were learning to draw, and they drew everything that begins with an M.'

'Why with an M?' said Alice.

'Why not?' said the March Hare.

Alice was silent.

The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time. The Hatter pinched it, it woke up again with a little shriek, and went on: 'that begins with an M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness-did you see muchness?'

'Muchness?' said Alice, very much confused, 'I don't think…'

'Then don't talk,' said the Hatter.

Alice got up and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and nobody called after the girl. They were trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.

'I'll never go there again!' said Alice. 'It's the stupidest tea-party in the world!'

Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door.

'That's very curious!' she thought. 'But everything's curious today. I think I may go in.'

And in she went.

Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little glass table. She took the little golden key, and unlocked the door that led into the garden. She walked down the little passage, and then she found herself in the beautiful garden, among the bright flowers and the cool fountains.

Chapter VIII

The Queen's Croquet-Ground

A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it. They were painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and when she came up to them she heard the voice, 'Look out now, Five! Don't splash the paint over me!'

'That's not my fault,' said Five, in a sulky tone; 'Seven jogged my elbow.'

Seven looked up and said, 'That's not right, Five!'

'Do not talk!' said Five. 'Queen said yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!'

'What for?'

'That's none of your business, Two!' said Seven.

'Yes, it is his business!' said Five, 'and I'll tell him-he brought the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.'

Seven noticed Alice. The others looked round also, and all of them bowed low.

'Can you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, 'why you are painting those roses?'

Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a low voice, 'The fact is, you see, Miss, the Queen ordered to plant a red rose-tree, and we planted a white tree by mistake. If the Queen sees it, our heads will be cut off, you know. So you see, Miss,.'

At this moment Five called out 'The Queen! The Queen!' There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice looked round, she wanted to see the Queen.

First came ten soldiers with clubs^[9]; these were all like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and feet at the corners. Next came the ten courtiers with diamonds. After these came the royal children; there were ten of them. Next came the guests, Kings and Queens, and among them Alice recognised the White Rabbit. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, he was carrying the King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this grand procession, came The King and Queen Of Hearts.

Alice stood where she was and waited.

When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped and looked at her, and the Queen said severely 'Who is this?' She said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply.

'Idiot!' said the Queen; and she turned to Alice, 'What's your name, child?'

'My name is Alice, your Majesty,' said Alice very politely; but she added, to herself, 'They're only a pack of cards. No need to be afraid of them!'

'And who are these?' the Queen pointed to the three gardeners.

'How could I know?' said Alice. 'It's not my business.'

The Queen turned crimson with fury, and screamed 'Off with her head! Off!'

'Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was silent.

The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said 'My dear: she is only a child!'

The Queen turned angrily. Then she turned to the rose-tree, and asked, 'What were you doing here?'

'Your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone, 'we were trying…'

'I see!' said the Queen, who was looking at the roses. 'Off with their heads!'

And the procession moved on, three of the soldiers went to the unfortunate gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.

'I shall save you!' said Alice, and she put them into a large flower-pot that stood near. Three soldiers wandered about for a minute or two, and then quietly marched away.

'What about their heads?' shouted the Queen.

'Their heads are gone, your Majesty!' the soldiers shouted in reply.

'That's right!' shouted the Queen. 'Can you play croquet?'

The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice.

'Yes!' shouted Alice.

'Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined the procession.

'It's – It's a very fine day!' said a timid voice. It was the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face.

'Very,' said Alice, 'where's the Duchess?'

'Hush! Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He put his mouth close to her ear and whispered 'She's under sentence of execution.'

'What for?' said Alice.

'Did you say “What a pity!”?' the Rabbit asked.

'No, I didn't,' said Alice: 'I don't think it's a pity. I said “What for?”'

'She boxed the Queen's ears,' the Rabbit began. Alice laughed.

'Oh, hush!' the Rabbit whispered in a frightened tone. 'The Queen will hear you! You see, she came late, and the Queen said…'

'Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder. It was a very curious croquet-ground! It was all ridges and furrows; the balls were hedgehogs, the mallets were flamingoes, and the soldiers were the arches.

The players all played at once, nobody was waiting for his turn. They were quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs. The Queen was furious and shouting 'Off with his head!' or 'Off with her head!' once in a minute.

Alice noticed a curious appearance in the air. It was a grin, and Alice said to herself 'It's the Cheshire Cat: now I have somebody to talk to.'

'How are you getting on?' said the Cat, when its mouth appeared.

'I don't think they play croquet,' Alice began, 'and they all quarrel so dreadfully!'

'How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice.

'Not at all,' said Alice: 'she's a…'

Just then she noticed that the Queen was near. The Queen was listening. So Alice went on, '… a very good player, I think I can't win.'

The Queen smiled.

'Who are you talking to?' said the King. He was looking at the Cat's head with great curiosity.

'It's my friend-a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice, 'let me introduce it.'

'I don't like it at all,' said the King, 'however, it may kiss my hand if it likes.'

'I do not want it,' the Cat remarked.

'Don't be impertinent,' said the King, 'and don't look at me like that!'

'A cat may look at a king,' said Alice. 'I read that in some book, but I don't remember where.'

'Well, I want to remove it,' said the King very decidedly, and he called the Queen, 'My dear! Please remove this cat!'

The Queen had only one answer.

'Off with his head!' she said.

'Very well,' said the King eagerly.

Alice watched the game. Three of the players were executed, and she did not like it at all. When she looked at the Cheshire Cat, she was very surprised. A large crowd collected round it. There was a dispute between the executioner, the King, and the Queen.

The executioner said that it impossible to cut off a cat's head, because it did not have a body. The King said that every head can be cut off. The Queen said that the best decision was to cut off all their heads.

Alice said, 'The Cat belongs to the Duchess: let us ask her about it.'

'She's in prison,' the Queen said to the executioner: 'fetch her here.'

And the executioner went away like an arrow.

The Cat's head began to fade away. Soon it entirely disappeared. So everybody went back to the game.

Chapter IX

The Mock Turtle's Story

'You can't think how glad I am to see you again, my dear!' said the Duchess to Alice, and they walked together.

Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and thought to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that made her so angry.

'When I am a Duchess,' she said to herself, 'I won't have any pepper in my kitchen at all. Maybe it's always pepper that makes people hot-tempered,' she went on, 'and vinegar that makes them sour-and camomile that makes them bitter-and-and barley-sugar that makes children sweet-tempered…'

'You're thinking about something, my dear, – said the Duchess, – and you forget to talk. I can't tell you now what the moral of that is.'

'Perhaps there is no moral at all,' Alice remarked.

'What?' said the Duchess. 'Everything has got a moral, if only you can find it.'

And she went closer to Alice's side as she spoke.

Alice did not like it very much, because the Duchess was very ugly; and because she had a very sharp chin. However, Alice did not like to be rude.

'The game's going on,' she said to keep up the conversation a little.

'Exactly,' said the Duchess: 'and the moral of that is “Oh, it's love, it's love, that makes the world go round!”'

'Somebody says,' Alice whispered, 'that it's necessary to mind his own business!'

'Ah, well! It means the same thing,' said the Duchess, 'and the moral of that is “Take care of the sense!”'

'Oh, she likes to find morals in everything!' Alice thought to herself.

'I'm not sure about the temper of your flamingo. Does it bite?'

'It may bite,' Alice cautiously replied.

'Very true,' said the Duchess: 'flamingoes and mustard both bite. And the moral of that is “Birds of a feather flock together.”'

'Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked.

'Right, as usual,' said the Duchess: 'what a clear mind!'

'It's a mineral, I think,' said Alice.

'Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who was ready to agree to everything that Alice said.

'Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, 'it's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it is.'

'I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; 'and the moral of that is “Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than you are otherwise.”'

'I think I must understand that better,' Alice said very politely, 'if I write that down.'

'Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with the dig of her sharp little chin.

'I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply.

'You know, my dear,' said the Duchess, 'the moral of this is…'

But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's arm began to tremble. Alice looked up, and there stood the Queen in front of them.

'A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess began in a low, weak voice.

'Now, I warn you,' shouted the Queen; 'either you or your head must be off! Take your choice!'

The Duchess took her choice, and went away in a moment.

'Let's continue our game,' the Queen said to Alice; and Alice followed to the croquet-ground.

The other guests were resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her, they hurried back to the game. The Queen merely remarked: 'A moment's delay costs you your lives.'

All the time they were playing the Queen was quarrelling with the other players, and shouting 'Off with his head!' or 'Off with her head!' All the players, except the King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and under sentence of execution.

Then the Queen stopped the game, and said to Alice, 'Did you see the Mock Turtle?'

'No,' said Alice. 'I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is. I never saw one, or heard of one.'

'Come on, then,' said the Queen, 'and it shall tell you its history.'

As they walked off together, the King said in a low voice, to the guests, 'You are all pardoned.'

'Oh, that's a good thing!' Alice said to herself.

Very soon they met a Gryphon, it was sleeping in the sun.

'Get up, you idler!' said the Queen, 'and take this young lady to the Mock Turtle. I must go back'; and she walked off.

The Queen left Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not like the look of the creature, but it seemed as safe to stay with it as to go after that savage Queen; so she waited.

The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes, then it chuckled.

'What fun!' said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice.

'What is the fun?' said Alice.

'She,' said the Gryphon. 'It's a fake, you know, they never execute anybody. Come on!'

'Everybody says “come on!” here,' thought Alice, as she went slowly after the Gryphon.

Soon they saw the Mock Turtle. It was sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and sighing.

'What is his sorrow?' Alice asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, 'It's a fake, you know, it has no sorrow. Come on!'

So they went up to the Mock Turtle. It looked at them with large eyes full of tears, but said nothing.

'This is a young lady,' said the Gryphon, 'she wants to know your history.'

'I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone: 'sit down, both of you, and don't speak a word. I'll tell a story.'

So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice waited patiently.

'Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, 'I was a real Turtle.'

Next was a very long silence. The Mock Turtle was only sobbing. Alice was going to get up and say, 'Thank you for your interesting story,' but she sat still and said nothing.

'When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly, 'we went to school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle-we called him Tortoise…'

'Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice asked.

'We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock Turtle angrily, 'and really you are very silly!'

'Yes, don't ask such simple questions,' added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and looked at poor Alice. At last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, 'Go on, old fellow!'

And the Mock Turtle went on in these words:

'Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you don't believe it…'

'Why? I didn't say that!' interrupted Alice.

'You did,' said the Mock Turtle.

'Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon.

The Mock Turtle went on.

'We had the best educations-in fact, we went to school every day…'

'So what?' asked Alice; 'I go to school everyday, too. Why are you so proud?'

'With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.

'Yes,' said Alice, 'we learned French and music.'

'And washing?' said the Mock Turtle.

'Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly.

'Ah! then your school isn't a really good school,' said the Mock Turtle in a tone of great relief. We had washing – extra.'

'What for?' asked Alice; 'You were living at the bottom of the sea.'

'Yes, I was,' said the Mock Turtle with a sigh. 'I only took the regular course.'

'What was that?' inquired Alice.

'Reeling and Writhing^[10]. Different branches of Arithmetic,' the Mock Turtle replied; 'Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision^[11].'

'I never heard of “Uglification,”' Alice said. 'What is it?'

The Gryphon was surprised.

'What! Never heard of that!' it exclaimed. 'You know what to beautify is, I suppose?'

'Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: 'it means “to make something prettier.”'

'Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, 'if you don't know what to uglify^[12] is, you are just foolish.'

Alice turned to the Mock Turtle, and said 'What else did you learn?'

'Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, 'Mystery, ancient and modern, with Seaography^[13]: then Drawling, Stretching^[14], and Fainting in Coils^[15].'

'What was that like?' said Alice.

'Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said: 'I'm too old for that. And the Gryphon never learnt it.'

'I had no time,' said the Gryphon: 'I went to the Classics master, though. He was an old crab^[16], he was.'

'I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh, 'he taught Laughing and Grief.'

'So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon; and both creatures hid their faces in their paws.

'And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice.

'Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: 'nine the next, and so on.'

'What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice.

'That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphon remarked, 'because they lessen from day to day.'

This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she made her next remark.

'Then the eleventh day was a holiday?'

'Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle.

'And what about the twelfth day?' Alice asked eagerly.

'Enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in a very decided tone: 'tell her something about the games now.'

Chapter X

The Lobster Quadrille

The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and looked at Alice, and tried to speak. Gryphon began to shake it and punch it in the back. At last the Mock Turtle, with tears that were running down his cheeks, went on again:

'You did not live much under the sea…'

('I did not,' said Alice)

'and perhaps you did not see a lobster…'

(Alice began to say 'I once tasted…' but hastily said 'No, never')

'so you probably do not know what a nice dance a Lobster Quadrille is!'

'No, indeed,' said Alice. 'What sort of a dance is it?'

'Why,' said the Gryphon, 'you first form into a line along the sea-shore…'

'Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle. 'Seals, turtles, salmon, and so on; then you advance twice…'

'Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon.

'Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: 'advance twice, set to partners…'

'…change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the Gryphon.

'Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, 'you throw the…'

'The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon.

'…as far to sea as you can-'

'Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon.

'Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle.

'Change lobsters again!' yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice.

'Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said the Mock Turtle, suddenly became silent; and the two friends sat down again very sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice.

'It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly.

'Do you want to see it?' said the Mock Turtle.

'Very much indeed,' said Alice.

'Come, let's try the first figure!' said the Mock Turtle to the Gryphon. 'We can do without lobsters, you know. Who will sing?'

'Oh, you will sing,' said the Gryphon. 'I forgot the words.'

So they began to dance round and round Alice, while the Mock Turtle sang a song about a whiting and a snail very slowly and sadly.

'Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said Alice.

'Oh, you saw the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, 'of course?'

'Yes,' said Alice, 'at dinn…' she stopped hastily.

'I don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, 'but if you see them so often, of course you know what they're like.'

'I can tell you more than that, if you like,' said the Gryphon. 'Do you know why it's called a whiting?'

'No,' said Alice. 'Why?'

'It does the boots and shoes,' the Gryphon replied very solemnly.

Alice was puzzled.

'Does the boots and shoes?' she repeated.

'Yes. Why are your shoes so shiny?' asked the Gryphon.

Alice looked down at her shoes.

'Boots and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deep voice, 'are white. Now you know.'

'So,' the Mock Turtle said, 'Let's hear about your adventures.'

Alice began to tell them her adventures from the time when she first saw the White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about it at first, the two creatures came close to her, one on each side, and opened their eyes and mouths very wide.

The Mock Turtle drew a long breath, and said 'That's very curious.'

'Maybe another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' the Gryphon offered. 'Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song?'

'Oh, a song, please!' Alice replied eagerly.

'Hm! Sing her “Turtle Soup,” will you, old fellow?' said the Gryphon.

The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, with sobs, to sing this:

'Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,

Waiting in a hot tureen!

Who for such dainties would not stoop?

Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!

Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!

Beau-ootiful Soo-oop!

Beau-ootiful Soo-oop!

Soo-oop of the e-e-evening,

Beautiful, beautiful Soup!

Beau-ootiful Soo-oop!

Beau-ootiful Soo-oop!

Soo-oop of the e-e-evening,

Beautiful, beautiful Soup!'

'Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle began to repeat it, when they heard a cry: 'The trial's beginning!'

'Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and he took Alice by the hand, and hurried off.

'What trial is it?' Alice asked; but the Gryphon only answered 'Come on!' and ran faster and faster.

Chapter XI

Who Stole the Tarts?

The King and Queen of Hearts were sitting on their throne when they arrived, with a great crowd assembled around them-many different birds and beasts, and the whole pack of cards. The Knave was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on each side to guard him. Near the King was the White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in the other. In the very middle of the court was a table, with a large dish of tarts upon it. They looked so good, that it made Alice quite hungry.

Alice was in a court for the first time. But she read about courts in books 'That's the judge,' she said to herself, 'because of his great wig.'

The judge was the King; and as he wore his crown over the wig, he did not look comfortable.

'And that's the jury-box,' thought Alice, 'and those twelve creatures,' (she said 'creatures,' you see, because some of them were animals, and some were birds,) 'I suppose they are the jurors.' She said this last word two or three times over to herself. She was very proud of it: very few little girls of her age knew the meaning of it at all.

The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates.

'What are they doing?' Alice whispered to the Gryphon.

'They're putting down their names,' the Gryphon whispered in reply, 'they do not want to forget them before the end of the trial.'

'Fools!' Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but she stopped hastily, because the White Rabbit cried out, 'Silence in the court!'

The King put on his spectacles and looked anxiously round.

One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. Alice went round the court and got behind him, and very soon found an opportunity to take it away. She did it so quickly that the poor little juror (it was Bill, the Lizard) did not understand anything.

So he began to write with his finger; but this was useless.

'Read the accusation!' said the King.

The White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and then unrolled the parchment scroll, and began to read:

'The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,

All on a summer day:

The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,

And took them quite away!'

'Consider your verdict,' the King said to the jury.

'No, no!' the Rabbit hastily interrupted. 'Let's…'

'Call the first witness,' said the King; and the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, 'First witness!'

The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in one hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other.

'I beg pardon, your Majesty,' he began, 'but I was drinking my tea when they called me.'

'So what?' said the King. 'When did you begin?'

The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who entered, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. 'Fourteenth of March, I think it was,' he said.

'Fifteenth,' said the March Hare.

'Sixteenth,' added the Dormouse.

'Write that down,' the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly wrote down all three dates, and then added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.

'Take off your hat!' the King said to the Hatter.

'It isn't mine,' said the Hatter.

'You stole it!' the King exclaimed.

'I keep them to sell,' the Hatter added as an explanation; 'I do not have my own hats. I'm a hatter.'

Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began to look at the Hatter. The Hatter turned pale.

The Hatter looked uneasily at the Queen, and in his confusion he bit a large piece out of his teacup instead of the bread-and-butter.

Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation: she was beginning to grow larger again. She wanted to get up and leave the court; but then she decided to remain where she was.

'What are you doing?' asked the Dormouse, who was sitting next to her. 'I can't breathe.'

'Sorry,' said Alice very meekly: 'I'm growing.'

'You've no right to grow here,' said the Dormouse.

'Don't talk nonsense,' said Alice more boldly: 'you know you're growing too.'

'Yes, but not so fast,' said the Dormouse. And it got up very sulkily and crossed over to the other side of the court.

'Bring me the list of the singers in the last concert!' the Queen ordered.

'Tell what you know of this case,' the King said, 'or I'll have your head off.'

'I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' the Hatter began, in a trembling voice, 'and I did not finish my tea-and I took my bread-and-butter-and the tea…'

'What?' said the King.

'It began with the tea,' the Hatter replied.

'Of course with a T!' said the King sharply. 'Do you take me for a fool? Go on!'

'I'm a poor man,' the Hatter went on, 'and as the March Hare said…'

'I didn't!' the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry.

'You did!' said the Hatter.

'I deny it!' said the March Hare.

'He denies it,' said the King.

'Well, the Dormouse said…' the Hatter went on slowly, but the Dormouse denied nothing. It was asleep.

'After that,' continued the Hatter, 'I cut some more bread…'

'But what did the Dormouse say?' one of the jury asked.

'That I can't remember,' said the Hatter.

'You must remember,' remarked the King, 'or I'll have you executed.'

The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter, and went down on one knee.

'I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' he began.

'You're a very poor speaker,' said the King. 'If that's all you know about it, you may sit down.'