Текст книги "Calling Me Away"

Автор книги: Louise Bay

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Текущая страница: 5 (всего у книги 8 страниц)

Ashleigh

“I’m sick of feeling so fucking miserable. I’ve totally lost my funny.” I took a seat at Beth’s kitchen counter and collapsed forward dramatically. Beth had asked for some help with a project, and I was happy to have the company.

“You’ve not lost your funny. You’re hilarious,” Beth responded.

“I used to be funny. I used to be able to make people laugh. Now, I’m a harbinger of doom. Wherever I go, I bring misery.”

“Now, you’re being funny, even if it is unintentional.”

I grinned. It was entirely intentional. I was ready to be me again. I’d had enough of moping around the house and avoiding Luke. Well, avoiding Luke had been made easy. He hadn’t been in touch. Not since the Sunday Haven and Jake had been in Chicago. That was over a month ago. I’d gone to Sunday night dinner the following weekend, but according to Haven, Luke was working. I’d not seen him since I’d run out on him.

“So you want to watch me get drunk?” I asked Beth.

“How can I resist an offer like that? But first can you help me with this?” Beth asked, gesturing behind me with the wooden spoon she was holding.

I glanced over my shoulder and saw a camera set up on a tripod facing our direction. What the what? I turned back to watch Beth pour honey into a mixing bowl. “Errr, excuse me, however much you’re offering? I’m not filming us naked with honey doing . . . God knows what.”

“Oh, I’m not going to pay you.”

“Well, I’m certainly not doing it for free.” I laughed. “What I mean to say is, not in front of a camera. And not with you. No offense, you’re gorgeous and you have a banging bod, but no. I like dick. I mean, I’ve never . . . not on camera, and not with honey—”

“Really?” Beth was looking at me as if I were totally crazy.

“I’ve lost control of my mouth.”

“You really have. Calm down. No one is getting naked.”

“Okay, so what’s going on?”

“I don’t want you to tell Jake, but I need you to set up the camera for me. I thought I might film myself bake and then put it on the Internet. I’ll film it tomorrow, but I thought you could set up the camera for me and I could leave it there until I’m ready.”

“Oh, that’s easy. I have to say I’m slightly disappointed. I thought my horizons were about to be broadened.”

“By my banging bod? Thanks for that, by the way.” She lifted her shoulder, playfully flirting.

“You’re welcome.” I grinned. There was a knock at the door and Beth went to answer it. I heard Haven chattering away in the hall. She and Beth lived in the same building. I probably should have told Haven when I arrived. I hoped she wasn’t mad I hadn’t.

“Hello, gorgeous. Room for a third?” she asked when she saw me.

I pulled her into a hug. “I’ve missed you.”

“I feel like you’ve divorced me. I’ve not seen you in weeks.”

“I’m sorry. I wanted Luke to have a chance to come to Sunday dinner, and that didn’t seem likely if I was going, so . . .”

“Well, he’s divorced me too. I’ve not seen him for weeks, either. How come when you two try and avoid each other, I end up missing you both? I wish you’d sort it out. He’s running today, apparently. A fun run.”

“Sounds like an oxymoron. Is he with Fiona?”

“I think so. It’s her running club or something.”

My stomach pinched. It had been raining all day. It was too easy to imagine him soaked to the skin and miserable, then peeling off his wet clothes, revealing his harder than hard body, his toned abs, his thick arms as he pulled me into the shower . . . My thoughts of him were endless, but somehow against all odds, I’d resisted the temptation to call him. He needed time to work out what he wanted. Maybe that was Fiona.

“Anyway,” I said, elongating the word like a six-year-old. “I’m trying to get my funny back.”

“You need wine for that,” Haven said, rummaging in her bright pink Longchamp Le Pliage. “Sorry, Beth. Sober works for you, but not for this one.” She lifted her chin and pulled out a bottle of wine. “It’s already chilled.”

I looked between Beth and Haven. I’d drunk in front of Beth before, but never in her house. “Is this okay with you? I was joking when I asked you about watching me get drunk.”

“Of course. It’s totally fine, although, if you catch me taking a swig, then we’ve got problems.” She winked.

I shook my head. “Haven, no, put it away.”

“She’s joking. Aren’t you?”

“Of course I am.” Beth grinned. “Other people drinking isn’t a problem. It’s my drinking that’s the problem.”

Beth always seemed so wise beyond her years. She’d been through a lot and it showed—not because she looked tired or bitter but because she radiated a confidence that’s only gained through experience.

“Actually, can you just position that camera while you’re still sober?” Beth asked me as Haven found some wineglasses.

I hopped off my stool and went over to the camera.

“Should I ask about the camera?” Haven was frowning. “I mean, whatever you’re into, there’s no judgment here. In fact, I’m planning on filming myself for Jake while he’s in—”

“There are some things you don’t need to share,” Beth said, covering her ears.

“Hmmm, not true,” I replied. “Tell me more.”

“Jake’s going to Chicago in a month. I was thinking of sending him with a gift. I’ll tell you the rest another time.”

Beth rolled her eyes.

This was nice. I’d not felt this comfortable, this at home, for ages.

“Have you spoken to him?” Haven asked. Instantly my comfort shattered.

I shook my head.

“Ash, you know I love you . . .” My heart sank. I was about to get a verbal spanking. “But it’s been weeks, in fact, it’s been months since he split with Emma. When has enough time gone by?”

It was a question I’d asked myself a million times. But it wasn’t about time. It was about experience. If Luke was staying at home, just waiting for me to come round, then there would never be enough time gone. “I don’t know.” I sighed. “I think we’ll both know if it’s right.”

“That’s bullshit,” Beth said.

Haven started to chew the inside of her cheek and fixated on her wine.

“What’s bullshit?” I asked.

“What happens if you just never see him again? The way you’re going, you might just end up avoiding each other until you’re both old and gray. He doesn’t know what you want, and to be honest, neither do I.”

My pulse was hammering in my chest. Had I been an enormous idiot?

“Sorry, I’m a compulsive truth teller. I sometimes forget we’re not related and it’s less acceptable,” Beth said.

“Don’t be sorry for telling me what you think.” I welcomed her opinion. “It boils down to trust. At first, I thought it was all about me not trusting his change of heart. I didn’t want to be the second prize—he couldn’t be bothered to go out and find what he really wanted, so I got him by default. And that’s only half of it. I need to trust myself as well. I need to be willing to risk it all—my family, my friends, my future—everything that’s important to me to give it a shot with Luke.”

Beth took a deep breath. “You need to understand how we’ll support you and love you no matter what. You’re not risking your family or friends. But, if you never take that next step with him, you might be risking your future.”

Her words hit right to my core. Maybe she was right, that I was risking more by not giving us a chance.

Luke

“Would you like white or red?” I asked as our sommelier approached the table.

Fiona shrugged. “I don’t mind. You choose.”

This was new territory for me. Dating, and then having to think about what would make someone I didn’t know very well happy. Emma always drank Shiraz no matter where we were or what we were eating. Haven and Ashleigh would drink pretty much anything, but sauvignon blanc was their favorite white and pinot noir their favorite red. Now I was learning another woman’s preferences. It felt weird.

“We’ll take a bottle of the champagne,” I said to the waiter. I knew she liked fizzy stuff because we’d had it at the bar. “Goes with anything, right?” I asked Fiona as the waiter turned away.

“Sounds good.”

She was smiling so that had to be good.

“You look beautiful,” I said. She’d clearly put some effort into looking good and it suited her. She never wore much makeup to work, and none when we went running, but tonight she looked glamorous, sexy even, but not in a showy way. I’d never seen her brown hair down. It suited her, made her more feminine, as did her pink dress. She looked more like a woman than I’d ever seen before. This really was a date, which was . . . confusing.

“So do you. Handsome, I mean.” Her cheeks flushed. It was sweet.

I smiled. I was aware of every part of my body. It was as if I had to consciously remember to put one foot in front of the other, lift my arm, breathe in and out. I filled my lungs and fisted my hands at my sides. I could do this. There was nothing to be nervous about. Fiona and I spent loads of time together. I liked her; we got on. I’d known her for a long time, but only for a couple of months as anything except colleagues. But tonight shouldn’t be difficult. We had plenty in common and we liked each other.

“So, did you train today?” she asked.

I was grateful that she took hold of the conversation. I had migrated into idiot land and forgotten how to do small talk.

“Yeah, in the gym. I did a session with that trainer I told you I was thinking about getting. We did some weights then I went on the treadmill.”

“It’s good that you’ve got someone helping you with that stuff. I did the same thing at first. It’s too easy to injure yourself, but I guess you’ve used them before.” She brushed her hands up and down in the air, indicating the length of my body.

I shrugged. “Not for a goal like this race. What about you? Did you go for a run?”

“Yeah. Saturday mornings are my favorite. But I went early. At six. Then I got waxed and I had coffee with a girlfriend.”

“You got waxed?” As I was finishing my question, I realized what she was saying and quickly broke eye contact. Shit, why did I have to ask her about the waxing? She’d been to the beauty parlor. She’d been preparing . . . for tonight. My palms started to sweat. Was she expecting to show me the waxed areas? I hadn’t even begun to contemplate sleeping with her.

“It was a regular appointment. Not for tonight. I mean, if you’re a girl and you’re running, it’s important to keep . . . Oh Jesus. Please kill me now.” Her head rolled back.

I started to laugh. The mention of waxing had broken the ice. “Let’s do a U-turn, shall we? How was coffee?”

She shook her head. “I shouldn’t be allowed out. Yes. Thank you. Coffee was good. It was a friend I’ve known since I was five. We grew up together; she’s getting married, and she asked me to be bridesmaid. So, yes, it was good to see her.”

“Oh, that’s really nice. When’s the wedding?”

“Next summer. To be honest, I hate the idea. Can’t bear the whole big show and ridiculous dress, but it’s important to her so it’s an honor really.”

I smiled. It seemed we had more in common than just triathlons.

“Do you have brothers and sisters?” I asked. Our conversations up until now had been mainly about work or training, so although in some ways I knew her quite well, in reality my knowledge of her private life was limited.

“Two sisters. Both older. I’m the baby. The ugly duckling.”

“The what?”

“My sisters are supremely glamorous. I mean knockouts. I was always the tomboy.”

“Well you don’t look like a tomboy tonight.”

“God, did that sound as if I was fishing for compliments? I’m sorry, I really wasn’t. I love having gorgeous sisters now, well, most of the time. But, you know, in those awkward teen years it was tough. What am I saying? I bet you didn’t have those years.”

I thought back. I didn’t remember any. “I think that’s more of a girl thing.” I didn’t really remember Haven or Ashleigh being awkward.

“Maybe. Anyway, they’re happy; I’m happy. One lives in LA with her producer husband. The other lives in Barnes. She’s a lawyer too.”

I liked hearing her talk about her family. “Are you close?”

She seemed to think about that for a couple of seconds. “We don’t fight. But no, we’re not super close. I babysit and stuff, but we all have very different lives. What about you? You’re close to Haven.”

I realized she already knew I had a sister. I must talk about her without even realizing it. “Yeah, we’re close. I get on well with her husband too.” I didn’t mention Ashleigh. Was I still close to her? Would we find a way back to each other, even if not as lovers? The thought turned my stomach. I hated not having her in my life.

“You okay?” Fiona asked.

“Yeah, fine. I remembered that I said I would call Haven today and I forgot.” The lie was easier than the truth.

I shook my head and took a breath. I couldn’t be thinking about Ashleigh.

After that, I relaxed and it became more natural to share details of my life with her and her with me. It was comfortable and nice. I liked her. She was sweet and caring.

“Can you just wait here a minute?” I asked the cab driver as Fiona climbed out, and I followed her onto the pavement. “Thanks for a lovely evening,” I said as we walked toward her building.

“Thank you. I had a really good time, Luke.” She smiled a half smile at me as we came to her front door.

“So, I’ll see you at work on Monday?”

She nodded. This was when I was meant to kiss her goodbye. She definitely gave the impression that it wouldn’t be unwelcome, but it had been so long since I’d been in this position. I got that same consciousness in my limbs that I’d had at the beginning of the evening. I liked her, and it was just a kiss. Glancing at the ground, I took a half step toward her, put my fingers under her chin and tilted her head. My gaze flicked between her mouth and her eyes once, then twice and then I bent, pressing my lips to hers. Her body swayed toward me, and I caught the scent of her for the first time that evening. It was unfamiliar. She ran her hands down my arms, but before it could turn into anything more, I pulled away and whispered, “Good night.”

I tried to remember the first time I’d kissed Emma. It had been similar. Nice. There’d been an awareness that we didn’t quite fit yet, but that we might. With Fiona it was the same. She was a nice girl, easy to be around and we had a lot in common—more than Emma and I ever had.

But she wasn’t Ashleigh.

Ashleigh

“This one is super comfortable,” I said to Richard as I rearranged myself on the sofa. Richard had moved into a new apartment and had asked me to help him find some new furniture.

“You don’t like the brown leather?”

My stomach churned. Brown leather sofas always reminded me of Luke, even if he had finally thrown his away.

I shook my head. “Leather is cold in the winter and sticks to you in the summer. I’ve never understood its appeal. And it squeaks.”

“Squeaks? Like talks to you? Have you seen a doctor for that?” Richard’s eyes were wide.

“They do. You know—when you move around on them.” I blushed and looked away. I had totally imagined having sex with Luke every which way on his battered old sofa¸ and every time I had, the squeaks had been off-putting, even in a fantasy.

Richard collapsed next to me. “Yeah, this one is comfortable. And it’s nice and deep. Do you think two people could lay on it together? I think we should spoon. Just to be sure.”

I elbowed him in the ribs. “Stop it.” Richard had been flirting with me all morning, teasing me by saying we were going straight to the bed department to test out mattresses.

“You’re meant to be here to help.” He slipped his hand around my shoulders and stuck his feet on the low table in front of him. “This works. But if you’ve vetoed leather, can I at least get a corner one?”

What was it about boys and corner sofas? “If you have the space.”

“Yeah, you’ve not seen it, have you? You should come round. I can cook. What about tonight?”

My heart sped as I remembered the evening at Luke’s new place. I’d never gotten to taste the duck he said he’d cooked.

“It’s no big deal. We can go straight to mine when we’ve finished here.” He clapped his hands and rubbed them together.

We’d been firmly in the friend zone for weeks now, so I’d expected the flirting to stop. But it hadn’t, and I was beginning to enjoy it. It was attention that felt safe.

“Maybe. Let’s see how we get on.” I appreciated his company, but the last thing I wanted to do was be a prick tease. I pointed across the showroom. “Let’s try that gray one. I like it because it’s a corner but not a corner with the bit that sticks out on one end for your feet.”

“Very eloquent, Ash. Really.” He squeezed my shoulder and stood, then offered to pull me up.

“I’m not an old lady. I can manage standing up just fine.”

“Okay, Miss Grumpy Knickers. I was trying to be a gentleman.” He turned and headed to the other sofa.

God, I was a witch sometimes. I was clearly channeling Haven. “Sorry. And you don’t need to try. It comes naturally to you,” I said as I caught up with him.

“That’s better.” He nudged my shoulder. “You see? You can be charming when you put your mind to it. Now, this I like.” He flung himself full length across the cushions of the sofa. “I’m going to ask some random stranger to lie with me and test out the spooning capabilities of this sofa if you’re still refusing to cooperate.”

“Yeah? Good luck with that. You wouldn’t dare.”

He rested his head on his elbow and raised an eyebrow. “You’re daring me? You’re actually daring me?”

Richard seemed to have loosened up in the last couple of weeks. I suppose without the pressure of a relationship, I had too, and we were getting on better than ever. I’d started to see his fun side. My feelings for Luke had led to me label Richard as not being the one. I’d thought Luke was . . . but I hadn’t made that work either.

Perhaps I’d been wrong to write off Richard too soon.

“Excuse me, Miss.” Richard leapt to his feet and caught the attention of a woman with a pushchair. I watched, open-mouthed.

“My wife,” he said, pointing to me, “doesn’t like public displays of affection. She won’t spoon with me on this sofa to see if we fit. Would you mind standing in for her?”

The woman turned her head toward me, and I could do nothing but shrug. She looked as if she were in pain, but replied, “I’m sorry. I’m running late.” She scurried to the opposite end of the show room, toward the lifts.

Grinning, Richard turned to me. I rolled my eyes. “For the record,” he said, “it’s not a good idea to dare me to do anything. I find it impossible to pass up a challenge.”

He winked at me as if I were next.

“Pinot noir, right?” Richard asked as he passed me a glass of wine.

“Perfect, thanks.” How had he known which wine I liked? I’d had a really good time shopping with him. He’d bought the gray corner-not-a-corner, sofa, despite him being unable to spoon before he purchased. He’d been funny and laid back and all the things I’d wanted him to be when we’d dated. I genuinely didn’t want our time together to be over, so when he asked me again to go back to his flat for dinner, I’d gone along with it.

“How come you moved?”

He joined me on his old sofa and rested his sock-covered feet on the table in front of him. “I think I was holding off until I found someone to share a place with. And then, after we . . .” He paused, and I took a sip of my wine, trying to ignore the discomfort that pushed between us. “I just thought I needed to get on and live in the place I wanted to.”

I nodded, struck that he hadn’t simply moved on to the next girl when I’d ended things. He’d got on with his life, but kept the door between us open. He’d basically done what I’d asked Luke to.

He turned toward me, rearranging his body so he was sitting with one leg hitched on the cushion, his arm resting on the back of the sofa and his hand just behind my head.

“It’s a nice place.” I glanced around the room. Everything was neat and matching in various tones of gray. I turned to look at him.

He was watching me. “It’s not very family friendly, but I reckon I can move again when the time comes.”

“You feel ready for a family?”

“Yeah, I want to find that special someone and have a bunch of rowdy kids. Don’t you?”

I thought about Luke, Haven and I sitting under the magnolia tree, reading, fighting, laughing. “At some point.”

“I thought that maybe you and I were right. I think that’s why I was so tense when we were dating.”

“You were tense?” Had I not seen the real him?

“Yeah, I was crazy for you, and wanted to make it all just so.” He shrugged. He seemed to find it easy to be open with me about how he’d felt, and I really liked that he did.

“Crazy?” I asked. Had we been dating long enough for him to be crazy for me?

“You know how I felt—how I feel. I could see how we could have been so perfect together. I was impatient and pushed when I shouldn’t have.”

“Richard . . .” I suppose we were bound to have this conversation at some point. We’d been spending time together, and we’d never discussed what had happened between us. Still, it felt uncomfortable.

“I just wanted you to know that I get it. I understand that I got it wrong. I don’t want you to think that I’m a total idiot.”

I shifted slightly so I was facing him, mirroring the position of his legs with mine. “I don’t think you’re an idiot. Not at all. But we learn from each relationship, don’t we? And we take that into our next one.”

“Maybe . . . it’s just . . . I think when it’s like this between us, I wonder if there’s a second chance in there somewhere . . . for you and me.” His dark brown eyes were staring at me intently.

I took a deep breath. If I hadn’t been lost in the fog of Luke and I, I probably would have seen this coming more clearly. Maybe I’d even want that second chance.

“I don’t think I properly gave you a first chance, Richard. And that wasn’t your fault—it was entirely mine. I was unfair to you.” I needed to be honest with him. “It’s just, I’ve had feelings about someone else for a very long time.” I stared into my wine, embarrassed that I’d perhaps led him on, even though I’d truly been trying to get over Luke when we dated.

“Luke,” he said and I cringed. Was it that obvious? I nodded.

“But you’re not together?”

My heart ached at his words. “No, we’re not together.”

“Have you ever been? I mean, is it unrequited?”

My cheeks heated. It felt wrong talking to him about this, especially as Richard had just declared he’d been crazy for me. “There was a brief . . . I really have no idea.” Luke had told me that he had feelings for me—romantic feelings—and the sex had been incredible, but I didn’t know what future there might be for us. All I knew was that I wasn’t ready to move on from him. Not yet.

Richard’s fingers crept along my arm. “He’s a fool if he doesn’t love you.”

“Richard . . .”

“I mean it. I get that you’re caught up with him, but if he doesn’t get what an amazing, sexy, funny person you are, then he’s a giant idiot.”

I closed my eyes, willing myself not to cry. He was being so kind and understanding. A huge part of me just wanted to be taken in his arms and comforted.

“If and when you’re ready to start dating again, I’d try not to mess it up,” he continued.

“Richard—” He was being so nice, and I didn’t know how to react.

“Don’t say anything. Just think about it. No pressure.”

I opened my eyes and stared at my lap.

“Hey, don’t be sad. I wasn’t trying to induce depression.” He stroked my jaw. “Come on,” he said, jumping off the sofa. “You can help me with dinner. Maybe I can win you over with my mad chef skills. Let’s press pause on this conversation for tonight, and just have a nice evening. Agreed?”

I smiled. It was just what he needed to say. I wanted time to process what he’d suggested. He was a good guy who wanted a second chance. I couldn’t just dismiss that, could I? But at the same time, I wasn’t ready to give up on my fairy tale.

A pause button was exactly what the doctor called for.

Luke

“You look like my brother, but you can’t be him. He doesn’t come around here anymore,” Haven said, clearly looking through the peephole.

“Ha bloody ha, Haven. Let me in.”

I’d promised Haven I’d turn up to Sunday dinner this week. She’d been harassing me for days, but she’d been right. Ashleigh and I had to get through this—at least as friends—so I couldn’t avoid her anymore.

The door swung open, but she was already halfway back down the corridor, and heading for the kitchen. “Way to make me feel welcome.”

Jake stood at the counter, bent over what looked like a recipe book. “Hey, mate,” I said.

He gave me a hug, his eyes bright. “It’s so good to see you. Thanks for coming. Haven’s been a wreck with all this shit going on with you and Ash.”

My stomach dropped. I’d not thought about the impact on Haven. “I’m sorry. I just needed a bit of space.”

“You don’t need space from me, you dickhead,” she said.

“Not you, from Ashleigh. I didn’t want it be difficult between you two, so I thought . . . I don’t know.”

“He’s here now, Haven. That’s the main thing,” Jake said. “It’ll be a great night.”

“Is Ashleigh coming?” I asked. Haven had been pretty fierce when she’d told me to get over it and turn up for dinner. She’d said she was making Sunday night dinner mandatory and would tell Ashleigh the same thing.

“Of course she is. I’ve told you, there’s no choice. You two need to find a way because I’m not having my family breaking apart.” Haven’s voice quivered and Jake reached out to smooth circles on her back. “Not now.” She moved away from him and scurried past me into the bathroom at the same time the door buzzer went. Jesus, I’d had no idea she was so upset.

“Can you get that?” Jake asked. “I’ll go and check on Haven.”

“Yeah, of course. God, I’m sorry. I—” I hated to see Haven sad. It was my job to protect her. The last thing I wanted was to be the cause of her sorrow.

“Listen, don’t worry about it. I’ll explain in a bit . . . You see in Ash.” Jake hurried after Haven, and I went to answer the door.

Her smile faltered, just a tiny bit, when she saw me. “Hey.” Her voice was quiet and unsure, and I had to muster up a burst of energy when all I wanted to do was stand and stare at her. To remind myself of her every soft curve.

I bent and kissed her on her cheek. “It’s good to see you, Ashleigh. It really is.” I inhaled her scent. It was a call home, a call to where I belonged. Every time I saw her I was more and more certain that we were meant to be together, that I needed her, wanted her . . . loved her. I’d been giving her some space by not coming to Sunday dinner, but I’d also been giving myself some space. It was too painful to be constantly reminded of what I desperately wanted but couldn’t have. Of where I should be, who I should be with.

“Where’s Haven and Jake?” She looked round the living room as we entered.

I frowned. “The bathroom, I think. Haven got a bit upset. I think because the whole Sunday dinner thing. I mean, I’ve not been coming. I don’t know about you.”

She shook her head. “No, me neither. I thought—”

She thought she’d give me room to keep on with our ritual, and I’d tried to do the same. “We should make more of an effort.”

She nodded, the light catching on her hair, highlighting her beautiful face. I had to look away. How had I gone so many years without being totally mesmerized by her?

“God, that’s not like her to be upset about stuff like this.” She shuffled from one foot to the other. All I wanted to do was pull her close.

I held my breath as Haven’s and Jake’s voices became louder and doors opened and closed.

“So, it’s this guy’s fault,” Haven announced, pointing her thumb toward Jake.

“What is?” I asked as Haven hugged Ashleigh. Why was Jake getting the blame?

“Me getting emotional.” She pulled away from Ashleigh and put her arm around Jake’s waist. “He knocked me up.”

“What?” Ashleigh squealed. “You’re pregnant? That’s amazing.”

“We wanted you both here, so we could tell you at the same time,” Jake said.

“Beth, too, but she’s in Chicago, and I wasn’t drinking when she popped in earlier in the week. And well, she guessed . . .”

“Wow, congratulations,” I said, shocked as I shook Jake’s hand and pulled him into a hug. I looked Haven up and down, trying to spot evidence of a bump. She grasped at her stomach. My sister was pregnant. I was going to be an uncle. Fucking hell. I’d thought life was moving quickly before. “You’re a braver man that I.”

“Don’t look at me like that.” I pulled her toward me, and she wrapped her arms around my waist. Pride knotted in my stomach. A huge wave of relief passed through me that I’d never had an accident with Emma. I would have married her, of course, and it would never have been enough for me.

“I’m so proud of you,” I said, my cheek resting on her head. “You’re going to be an amazing mother.”

“Turns out it’s not that difficult to get pregnant,” Haven replied. “It wasn’t planned.” My stomach churned. I hoped she was ready. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be. A kid was going to change things in our family forever.

“That’s because we’re so good at baby making.” Jake grinned proudly.

“Okay, enough already.” Ashleigh covered her ears. I reached out to pull her into a weird double hug behind Haven. The three of us stood together like the unit we’d been for so long.

It felt good.

“Come on, guys, break it up. I’m starting to feel left out,” Jake said.

The three of us dispersed and gathered round the kitchen island.

“So we need to celebrate. I should have brought champagne.” Ashleigh clasped her hands together. She was excited, her eyes sparkling. Our earlier awkwardness had dissipated.

“I’ve got some. We’ve got lots to celebrate. Ash sat her entrance exam to business school. And you won your whats-a-mathing case,” Haven said. “I’ve not seen you properly since.”

“You won the Nigelson case?” Ashleigh asked, her eyes wide.

I nodded and stuffed my hands in my pockets. “Well, it settled, in our favor.”

“Oh my God, Luke, this is huge. Congratulations.” She wrapped her arms around my neck. Shocked, I slid my hands around her waist, leaned down and pulled her close. “You should have told me,” she mumbled against my skin. Her familiar scent wound itself around me, all sweetness and summer. I had to work hard not to smooth my hands over that perfect ass of hers. She moved her body against mine. Like flint on stone, sparks went off across my skin. Jesus, it was torture holding her like this, but being unable to peel off her clothes, lay her down, spread her out and enjoy her. My dick began to harden. I tensed and pulled back.